1 00:03:31,420 --> 00:03:33,217 My name is Harris K. Telemacher. 2 00:03:34,580 --> 00:03:38,368 I live in L.A. and I've had seven heart attacks, all imagined. 3 00:03:40,180 --> 00:03:42,774 I was deeply unhappy but I didn't know it, 4 00:03:43,220 --> 00:03:45,529 cause I was happy all the time. 5 00:03:55,220 --> 00:03:58,132 I have a favorite quote about L.A. by Shakespeare: 6 00:03:59,100 --> 00:04:00,499 "This other Eden... 7 00:04:00,940 --> 00:04:02,498 demi-paradise... 8 00:04:02,940 --> 00:04:05,135 this precious stone... 9 00:04:05,580 --> 00:04:09,698 set in the silver sea of this earth, this ground... this Los Angeles. 10 00:04:12,540 --> 00:04:14,929 Anyway, this is what happened to me, 11 00:04:15,660 --> 00:04:17,571 and I swear, it's all true. 12 00:04:18,500 --> 00:04:23,210 "Watch out L.A., it's major gridlock out there this morning..." 13 00:05:42,980 --> 00:05:43,856 No, no, no... 14 00:05:44,340 --> 00:05:49,334 It's the perfect situation! - I can't be in a parade. I'm in the news. 15 00:05:49,740 --> 00:05:53,335 - You won't see Dan Rather in a parade. - 15 seconds to air. 16 00:05:53,780 --> 00:05:58,456 - What is good about waving at people? - It's gonna make you beloved. 17 00:05:59,060 --> 00:06:03,372 Waving is not what I do best. It looks fake. - That's a great wave! 18 00:06:03,820 --> 00:06:07,938 Look! I have to maintain my dignity. People have to believe what I say. 19 00:06:08,380 --> 00:06:12,214 This is news! This is truth! ...Telemacher with his report. 20 00:06:13,500 --> 00:06:16,697 Hey, it's time for the Wac-Wac-Wacky Weekend Weather! 21 00:06:19,460 --> 00:06:21,530 Let's look at our weather map. 22 00:06:23,380 --> 00:06:24,335 There's a low 23 00:06:24,940 --> 00:06:28,216 coming in over Pasedna... that's Pasadena, here, 24 00:06:28,660 --> 00:06:29,649 no, there... 25 00:06:30,420 --> 00:06:34,857 There were clouds here but the Council decided against it, so there's no rain 26 00:06:35,300 --> 00:06:36,176 in Beverly Hills. 27 00:06:36,620 --> 00:06:42,377 We'll just have some sun, and snow, and 72 and snow is what we'll have. 28 00:06:44,300 --> 00:06:45,733 And now the car phone report. 29 00:06:46,500 --> 00:06:51,130 Sunspot activity is at a minimum, so there will be little interference. 30 00:06:51,580 --> 00:06:55,892 So make that big important call. You probably won't be disconnected. 31 00:06:56,340 --> 00:06:58,171 And that's my report. Gail and Bob. 32 00:07:02,420 --> 00:07:03,899 Harris, somebody told me 33 00:07:04,340 --> 00:07:06,854 you have a Ph.D. in Arts and Humanities. - I do. 34 00:07:07,300 --> 00:07:08,733 Did you a lotta good. 35 00:07:12,220 --> 00:07:13,812 Harris, what's wacky? 36 00:07:14,460 --> 00:07:15,415 What's wacky? 37 00:07:15,860 --> 00:07:19,136 - What's wacky about your last forecast? - To me it was wacky. 38 00:07:19,580 --> 00:07:21,730 - No, not wacky. - Not wacky? 39 00:07:22,180 --> 00:07:26,492 That's we bought with you. You do intellectual stuff. - Intellectual? 40 00:07:26,940 --> 00:07:29,738 Maybe intellectual for you. Because of your education. 41 00:07:30,180 --> 00:07:33,297 - This is an intellectual free zone! - More wacky... 42 00:07:33,740 --> 00:07:39,098 More wacky, let me make a note of that. What was your name again? 43 00:07:43,420 --> 00:07:45,729 - We're late, aren't we? - It's only one. 44 00:07:46,180 --> 00:07:48,091 That's when we should be there. 45 00:07:48,540 --> 00:07:53,739 I figure if I get here at 12:40, we'll get there in plenty of time. 46 00:07:54,180 --> 00:07:57,013 But I don't count on the 20 minutes of "busyness" 47 00:07:57,460 --> 00:08:00,133 that goes on after I get here. 48 00:08:00,580 --> 00:08:02,332 I'm doing 30 minute lips. 49 00:08:02,780 --> 00:08:04,657 Besides, they can wait. 50 00:08:05,100 --> 00:08:10,458 You look so ready that I get ready and I get up and stand by the door, 51 00:08:10,900 --> 00:08:15,337 and I stand there for 10 minutes until I realize you aren't ready. 52 00:08:15,780 --> 00:08:18,738 So, I sit back down. Then, I think you're ready again. 53 00:08:19,180 --> 00:08:21,535 But I realize you just gave off 54 00:08:21,980 --> 00:08:26,098 an illusion of being ready that I interpreted as not being an illusion. 55 00:08:27,580 --> 00:08:28,899 I'll be in the car. 56 00:08:34,860 --> 00:08:38,535 Sitting there at that moment, I thought of Shakespeare again. 57 00:08:39,100 --> 00:08:41,898 He said, "Hey, life is pretty stupid. 58 00:08:42,340 --> 00:08:45,810 Lots of hubbub to keep you busy but really not amounting to much." 59 00:08:46,260 --> 00:08:47,739 Of course I'm paraphrasing. 60 00:08:48,220 --> 00:08:50,131 "Life is a tale told by an idiot, 61 00:08:50,580 --> 00:08:53,777 full of sound and fury, signifying nothing." 62 00:09:12,860 --> 00:09:13,815 You look nice. 63 00:09:14,260 --> 00:09:18,139 - Like this one better? I could change. - No, that's all right. 64 00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,891 Who are we having lunch with? 65 00:09:22,500 --> 00:09:26,539 Friends and friends of friends. And some of my gift service clients. 66 00:09:27,700 --> 00:09:29,975 - Frank will be there. - I just saw Frank. 67 00:09:30,420 --> 00:09:32,376 He wanted me to be in a parade. 68 00:09:32,820 --> 00:09:36,699 If it weren't impossible for me to fire people, I'd get somebody else. 69 00:09:38,700 --> 00:09:40,133 20 minutes past one... 70 00:09:41,980 --> 00:09:45,609 Hey, if you sense something in the air, it's not the smog! 71 00:09:46,060 --> 00:09:49,052 It's the first day of spring! 72 00:09:49,500 --> 00:09:50,455 What did he say? 73 00:09:51,060 --> 00:09:52,209 The first day of spring. 74 00:09:52,980 --> 00:09:53,856 Shit! 75 00:09:54,700 --> 00:09:56,611 Open season on the L.A. freeway. 76 00:09:57,060 --> 00:09:59,415 Look in the glove compartment! 77 00:10:01,620 --> 00:10:04,930 Is it loaded? - It only has two bullets. - Then load it! 78 00:10:05,380 --> 00:10:08,338 - Get over! - Do bullets go bad? 79 00:10:08,780 --> 00:10:11,692 No, no, it's not like milk! Hurry! 80 00:10:12,140 --> 00:10:14,495 - Don't point it at me! - Sorry. 81 00:10:15,380 --> 00:10:16,495 You son of a bitch! 82 00:10:23,340 --> 00:10:24,614 Don't ruin our brunch! 83 00:10:26,540 --> 00:10:28,019 - Keep low! - OK! 84 00:10:30,460 --> 00:10:31,973 You little cocker! 85 00:10:33,260 --> 00:10:34,249 My hair! 86 00:10:34,700 --> 00:10:38,329 - Do you have my blue pants? - I took them to the cleaners. 87 00:10:44,260 --> 00:10:46,171 I'm not kissing anyone hello! 88 00:10:46,580 --> 00:10:50,698 Just shake hands. - Are you kidding? I just washed my hands! 89 00:10:51,140 --> 00:10:53,335 Cowles, party of ten. 90 00:10:54,140 --> 00:10:56,529 Yes, you're the first ones to arrive. 91 00:10:58,540 --> 00:10:59,859 This way, please. 92 00:11:10,980 --> 00:11:13,130 - Hello! - Hello! - How you doing? 93 00:11:17,100 --> 00:11:19,739 I hurt my back playing tennis. 94 00:11:24,140 --> 00:11:27,257 - We saw them together. - So, I see this film, 95 00:11:27,700 --> 00:11:31,329 and I'm gonna give it an 8. As I'm leaving the parking lot, 96 00:11:31,780 --> 00:11:33,133 I realize the producer 97 00:11:33,580 --> 00:11:36,731 got this great space by the entrance, 98 00:11:37,180 --> 00:11:39,171 and they put me far away in back. 99 00:11:39,620 --> 00:11:40,939 So I gave it a three. 100 00:11:42,180 --> 00:11:43,135 Good for you. 101 00:11:43,580 --> 00:11:45,935 Sheila is studying the art of conversation. 102 00:11:46,380 --> 00:11:49,178 You're taking a course in conversation? - Yes. 103 00:11:56,340 --> 00:11:58,615 I teach my clients the point system. 104 00:11:59,060 --> 00:12:02,370 You should never have more than 7 points. Earrings are 2 points. 105 00:12:02,820 --> 00:12:04,253 Those daisies are 3. 106 00:12:04,700 --> 00:12:07,009 Before you go out, 107 00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:11,612 look in the mirror. The first thing that catches your eye has to go. 108 00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:17,613 I had this thing in my hair before. And I pulled it right out. 109 00:12:18,380 --> 00:12:20,655 - Marilyn Monroe did that. - Don't get dumped 110 00:12:21,100 --> 00:12:23,853 in L.A. in New York you can meet someone on the street. 111 00:12:24,300 --> 00:12:28,930 Here you have to hit someone in your car. Some girls speed to meet cops. 112 00:12:29,700 --> 00:12:31,736 We met on a hit in West Hollywood. 113 00:12:40,140 --> 00:12:45,498 Loud talkers in restaurants. I despise them and I want them to die. 114 00:12:45,980 --> 00:12:47,015 Sara's here. 115 00:12:53,380 --> 00:12:54,972 Shoot them like dogs. 116 00:13:02,580 --> 00:13:04,616 I thought you were lost! 117 00:13:05,060 --> 00:13:06,778 Let me sit you down. 118 00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:08,858 This is Sara McDowel. 119 00:13:09,380 --> 00:13:13,612 - Harris, Trudy. - Frank Swan. - Shawn. - How do you do? 120 00:13:14,060 --> 00:13:16,096 ...Cynthia. Sara was just in London. 121 00:13:16,540 --> 00:13:17,575 You must be exhausted. 122 00:13:18,020 --> 00:13:20,853 It's nothing that some sleep and a good fuck wouldn't cure, 123 00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:23,018 as my sister used to say. 124 00:13:27,220 --> 00:13:29,415 - You have to forgive Sara. - I'm sorry, it was a 125 00:13:29,860 --> 00:13:30,975 figure of speech. 126 00:13:31,860 --> 00:13:34,055 I've been on a plane for 12 hours. 127 00:13:37,220 --> 00:13:40,576 - What do you give the flight? - What? - On a scale of 1 to 10. 128 00:13:42,380 --> 00:13:43,290 An eight. 129 00:13:44,380 --> 00:13:46,177 What would you like to eat? 130 00:13:46,620 --> 00:13:48,576 What kind of food do they have? 131 00:13:49,100 --> 00:13:50,579 California Cuisine! 132 00:13:51,020 --> 00:13:55,332 And these damn wrong number dialers. What the hell do we do about them? 133 00:13:55,780 --> 00:13:57,577 - Sara, what do you do? - I'm here writing 134 00:13:58,020 --> 00:13:59,658 about L.A. for the "London Times." 135 00:14:00,100 --> 00:14:02,455 You've come to the right place. 136 00:14:05,460 --> 00:14:08,020 - What do you do, Rollie? - I deal in English paintings. 137 00:14:08,460 --> 00:14:12,214 - Abstract or Realistic? - Depends on how you look at them. 138 00:14:17,580 --> 00:14:18,535 What's this? 139 00:14:20,180 --> 00:14:22,455 It's an earthquake. How strong is it, Harris? 140 00:14:24,380 --> 00:14:25,938 I give it a 4. 141 00:14:33,420 --> 00:14:36,173 When a business person needs a gift, 142 00:14:36,620 --> 00:14:39,453 I go and pick something appropriate. 143 00:14:39,900 --> 00:14:41,379 I gifted the entire 144 00:14:41,820 --> 00:14:44,129 Sherman law firm last Christmas. 145 00:14:44,580 --> 00:14:47,299 Sherman, I received something from them, a stun gun! 146 00:14:47,740 --> 00:14:49,332 That was me! 147 00:14:52,140 --> 00:14:53,334 Did you get it monogrammed? 148 00:14:55,580 --> 00:14:58,936 - She ought to interview Harry Zell. - Who's Harry Zell? 149 00:14:59,380 --> 00:15:04,738 - The most powerful agent in town. - Beyond powerful. The miracle worker. 150 00:15:05,380 --> 00:15:06,529 He's supposed to be nice. 151 00:15:07,220 --> 00:15:09,654 He would never stab you in the back. 152 00:15:12,060 --> 00:15:12,810 Napkin? 153 00:15:16,300 --> 00:15:18,530 I think I'm a grown-up, but I'm not. 154 00:15:24,020 --> 00:15:28,332 - I'll have a de-caf coffee. - De-caf espresso. - Cappuccino. 155 00:15:28,780 --> 00:15:33,535 - Do you have de-caf coffee ice cream? - I'll have a de-caf double half caf. 156 00:15:34,180 --> 00:15:38,332 - I'll have a twist of lemon. - Me, too. - Me, too. - Me, too. 157 00:15:39,780 --> 00:15:41,691 I would love to do a make-over on you. 158 00:15:42,140 --> 00:15:43,653 I hope your nose turns out. 159 00:15:44,100 --> 00:15:47,570 As far as I'm concerned, there are three mystical places in the world. 160 00:15:48,380 --> 00:15:50,530 The desert outside Santa Fe, 161 00:15:51,060 --> 00:15:53,733 the tree of life in the Arab emirates of Bahrain, 162 00:15:54,380 --> 00:15:56,814 and the restaurant at Sunset and Crescent. 163 00:15:57,260 --> 00:16:01,219 Because that's where I first met her and touched her. 164 00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:08,577 Wasn't that girl, Sara, awful? 165 00:16:08,980 --> 00:16:12,131 - What's with that accent? - It's because she's English. 166 00:16:12,580 --> 00:16:17,210 - Or she's trying to impress everybody. - Like that big phoney, Churchill. 167 00:16:18,980 --> 00:16:20,891 - About what you said... - What? 168 00:16:21,340 --> 00:16:24,332 - About sleep, and having a boff. - Listen, if I say that 169 00:16:24,780 --> 00:16:27,897 sort of thing again, tie me up and gag me. 170 00:16:28,340 --> 00:16:31,138 We tried that once, but you started laughing. 171 00:16:31,660 --> 00:16:33,730 Leave off alone, there's a dicker. 172 00:16:34,700 --> 00:16:38,454 You've come all this way. We really should give it another try. 173 00:16:38,900 --> 00:16:42,859 But I'm happy the way things are. I'm getting my life sorted out. 174 00:16:43,380 --> 00:16:48,579 I'm so passionate about you. Let me take you for a hot dog on Sunday. 175 00:16:49,020 --> 00:16:52,933 - Your ticket, please. - It's the cream thingy, there. 176 00:16:54,460 --> 00:16:56,735 It's late. I've got to go. 177 00:17:01,980 --> 00:17:06,337 And she kept her hat on all through brunch. I'm sure she has bad hair. 178 00:17:06,780 --> 00:17:09,852 You don't know how unattractive hate is. - Excuse me! 179 00:17:10,300 --> 00:17:10,971 Hello! 180 00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:15,300 - Can I ask you a question? - Sure. 181 00:17:15,740 --> 00:17:17,537 When do people here get up? 182 00:17:17,980 --> 00:17:19,538 It depends. Why? 183 00:17:20,860 --> 00:17:25,888 - When can a person start making noise? - What kind of noise? 184 00:17:26,340 --> 00:17:30,458 - Like construction? - No, like deep sustained booms. 185 00:17:30,900 --> 00:17:33,937 Deep sustained booms... Around 9 or 9:15. 186 00:17:34,460 --> 00:17:36,212 Great. Thanks. Bye. 187 00:17:51,940 --> 00:17:53,931 She's used to driving on the left. 188 00:18:05,500 --> 00:18:11,018 I'm sorry. I was... I was just concentrating on... - I know what. 189 00:18:52,220 --> 00:18:53,972 - Do you like those? - Yes... 190 00:18:54,420 --> 00:18:55,853 - Sorry, what? - Your pants. 191 00:18:56,300 --> 00:18:59,178 - Shall I mark them for you? - I don't know. Are these 192 00:18:59,620 --> 00:19:02,851 - the same price as these others? - A little more. 193 00:19:04,100 --> 00:19:05,533 How do I look in these? 194 00:19:11,500 --> 00:19:13,536 You look... fabulous! 195 00:19:15,220 --> 00:19:16,619 Okay, mark them. 196 00:19:19,940 --> 00:19:23,250 You have to stand up straight, or they won't be right. - OK. 197 00:19:23,700 --> 00:19:26,817 - Do you like a break in them? - A little. 198 00:19:27,820 --> 00:19:28,650 Like that? 199 00:19:29,180 --> 00:19:30,408 That's fine. 200 00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:42,015 When's pick-up? 201 00:19:42,900 --> 00:19:46,415 Just about anytime you want. Wednesday all right? 202 00:19:46,860 --> 00:19:48,134 Yeah, fine. 203 00:19:51,180 --> 00:19:53,569 I'll just slip out of these. 204 00:20:11,620 --> 00:20:14,453 There are two events in my life that I consider magical, 205 00:20:14,900 --> 00:20:17,289 that couldn't be explained scientifically. 206 00:20:19,340 --> 00:20:22,138 The first of them was about to happen. 207 00:21:01,580 --> 00:21:02,615 Hi. 208 00:21:04,700 --> 00:21:05,735 Ruok? 209 00:21:10,060 --> 00:21:12,335 Are you okay? 210 00:21:12,980 --> 00:21:15,289 Oh, "Are you okay?" Yeah, I'm fine. 211 00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:17,935 What? 212 00:21:22,380 --> 00:21:23,369 Who are you? 213 00:21:25,500 --> 00:21:26,694 I can see that. 214 00:21:31,140 --> 00:21:34,655 I'm being filmed, I know. I'm being filmed. 215 00:21:38,900 --> 00:21:40,128 All right. 216 00:21:48,820 --> 00:21:51,334 Is this a joke or something? 217 00:22:00,220 --> 00:22:01,858 How am I in trouble? 218 00:22:08,180 --> 00:22:10,057 So, what do I do? 219 00:22:18,380 --> 00:22:19,369 What? 220 00:22:19,820 --> 00:22:22,334 Oh, do it again! 221 00:22:31,460 --> 00:22:34,054 Well, I'll work on it. 222 00:22:35,220 --> 00:22:36,539 Bye, bye. 223 00:22:40,100 --> 00:22:42,136 The sign spoke to me. 224 00:22:42,700 --> 00:22:47,057 - It said I was in trouble. - If you talked to a sign, you are. 225 00:23:03,220 --> 00:23:05,973 - So I'll see you Sunday? - I got a shower Sunday. 226 00:23:06,700 --> 00:23:09,692 Yeah, I should take a bath. Monday? 227 00:23:10,220 --> 00:23:13,337 - Pick me up at 8:30. - 8:30? No one eats at six anymore? 228 00:23:20,380 --> 00:23:23,611 Quiet! Quiet! It's me, quiet! 229 00:23:26,700 --> 00:23:28,736 Will you be quiet! 230 00:23:31,060 --> 00:23:32,937 I don't need a key. 231 00:23:34,180 --> 00:23:36,296 Who's daddy? 232 00:25:07,020 --> 00:25:08,658 An entire block in North Hollywood 233 00:25:09,100 --> 00:25:12,331 had to be evacuated today, cause of a shower of tennis balls. 234 00:25:12,780 --> 00:25:13,929 It seems the cargo... 235 00:25:15,540 --> 00:25:16,450 Ready. 236 00:25:16,900 --> 00:25:19,209 - Mom! - Say name again. 237 00:25:21,540 --> 00:25:25,738 What a surprise this weekend when the weather turned unseasonably low. 238 00:25:26,180 --> 00:25:28,978 Here's our wacky weatherman with a report. 239 00:25:29,460 --> 00:25:30,654 When the weather 240 00:25:31,460 --> 00:25:35,135 dropped down to 58 this weekend, how did you cope? 241 00:25:35,580 --> 00:25:37,377 We just shut all the windows. 242 00:25:37,820 --> 00:25:40,254 And what about your pets? 243 00:25:41,020 --> 00:25:42,578 The cats were out until around 10:00 244 00:25:43,020 --> 00:25:45,056 but it got too cold and they came in. 245 00:25:45,500 --> 00:25:50,813 The cats were out until 10:00 but it got too cold and they came in. 246 00:25:51,420 --> 00:25:53,138 That's how L.A. coped with 247 00:25:53,580 --> 00:25:57,129 that low of 58 that made the weekend a real weenie shrinker. 248 00:25:57,580 --> 00:25:58,376 Thank you. 249 00:26:00,340 --> 00:26:01,898 And now, the toupee report. 250 00:26:02,340 --> 00:26:06,697 Winds 5 to 10 miles an hour, gusting to 15 in the late afternoon. 251 00:26:07,380 --> 00:26:09,769 So stay indoors, or wear a hat! 252 00:26:10,460 --> 00:26:11,415 This is Harris K. Telemacher 253 00:26:11,860 --> 00:26:14,579 with the wiggy weekend weather. 254 00:26:23,700 --> 00:26:27,978 Hello, this is Harris. Please start talking at the beep. 255 00:26:31,980 --> 00:26:33,129 - Hello? - Hello. 256 00:26:36,380 --> 00:26:38,291 - Is this a person? - Yes. 257 00:26:39,020 --> 00:26:40,658 - Harris Telemacher? - Yes. 258 00:26:41,900 --> 00:26:44,892 This is Sara McDowel. We met at lunch? 259 00:26:45,340 --> 00:26:48,298 - Yeah, you're the reporter. - Journalist. 260 00:26:48,740 --> 00:26:50,696 And you're the weatherman. 261 00:26:51,540 --> 00:26:53,212 - Meteorologist. - I just got 262 00:26:53,660 --> 00:26:58,017 your number from Trudi Cowles. I want to interview you for my piece. 263 00:26:59,020 --> 00:27:00,533 English, French, or Italian? 264 00:27:00,980 --> 00:27:04,655 - You speak all those languages? - No, just English. 265 00:27:08,340 --> 00:27:09,375 Bugger! 266 00:27:09,820 --> 00:27:10,536 Ready. 267 00:27:12,100 --> 00:27:13,738 Dial Mom. 268 00:27:15,580 --> 00:27:19,937 - Domino's Pizza, this is Julian... - Sorry, sorry... 269 00:27:41,100 --> 00:27:43,739 Want some trail mix? Fruit? Cookies? 270 00:27:44,180 --> 00:27:46,330 How do you stay so thin? 271 00:27:46,780 --> 00:27:49,533 Maybe women burn fat faster than men. 272 00:27:49,980 --> 00:27:51,333 That's disgusting. 273 00:27:51,780 --> 00:27:55,295 That's my friend, smart, pretty, and quite a fat burner. 274 00:27:55,740 --> 00:27:57,219 - You're just jealous. - I don't know. 275 00:27:57,660 --> 00:28:01,255 I couldn't be a woman because I'd play with my breasts all day. 276 00:28:01,700 --> 00:28:05,659 Where's June? - Upstairs, recovering from the alcohol. 277 00:28:06,540 --> 00:28:08,132 - Want some juice? - Sure. 278 00:28:08,580 --> 00:28:10,935 Be my taster, it's a new mixture. 279 00:28:14,620 --> 00:28:15,735 This is Ariel. 280 00:28:16,700 --> 00:28:17,928 Hey, what's up? 281 00:28:20,020 --> 00:28:21,578 That's a job for Supergirl. 282 00:28:22,020 --> 00:28:24,329 It's like licking a shag carpet! 283 00:28:24,780 --> 00:28:26,930 I'll bring it down in an hour. 284 00:28:28,180 --> 00:28:31,729 Can we take your car so I can leave mine for June. - Sure. 285 00:28:35,180 --> 00:28:37,330 Today will be rough. There's coffee. 286 00:28:38,340 --> 00:28:41,332 - Hey, Harris. God, was I stupid... - Have some juice. 287 00:28:42,140 --> 00:28:43,289 I'll make you some eggs. 288 00:28:43,740 --> 00:28:47,130 - Can you hold on a sec? - The Museum is open till five. 289 00:29:39,580 --> 00:29:41,013 I keep busy this way. 290 00:29:41,460 --> 00:29:44,930 I call it performance art, but Ariel calls it wasting time. 291 00:29:45,780 --> 00:29:47,611 History will decide. 292 00:30:02,780 --> 00:30:05,931 - You're on time. - I'm late. - You're right on time. 293 00:30:06,380 --> 00:30:08,769 But I had planned on being early. 294 00:30:11,500 --> 00:30:14,094 Don't! Stop! Let me pose at least. 295 00:30:14,780 --> 00:30:16,213 Listen, I had this idea, 296 00:30:16,660 --> 00:30:18,378 - rather than an... - Hang on. 297 00:30:19,580 --> 00:30:23,334 Rather than do an interview, which would be fascinating because of the 298 00:30:23,780 --> 00:30:25,133 interesting words I use, 299 00:30:25,580 --> 00:30:27,536 I'd rather show you around town. 300 00:30:27,980 --> 00:30:31,336 You know, a kind of cultural tour of L.A. 301 00:30:31,780 --> 00:30:33,816 That's the first fifteen minutes, then what? 302 00:30:34,420 --> 00:30:35,375 A cynic. 303 00:30:35,820 --> 00:30:37,856 - First stop is six blocks. - Why don't we walk? 304 00:30:38,460 --> 00:30:39,529 Walk? 305 00:30:40,580 --> 00:30:42,138 A walk in L.A.? 306 00:30:46,020 --> 00:30:48,136 Architecture. Some of these buildings 307 00:30:48,580 --> 00:30:50,059 are over 20 years old! 308 00:30:50,500 --> 00:30:54,539 This house is Greek revival. The Greek owner must be revived every day. 309 00:30:55,700 --> 00:30:59,454 Here's a Tudor mansion. And a four door mansion. 310 00:30:59,900 --> 00:31:04,132 You're nobody in L.A. unless you live in a house with a big door. 311 00:31:04,660 --> 00:31:06,890 Let's go the Museum of Musicology. 312 00:31:09,060 --> 00:31:10,539 Verdi's baton. 313 00:31:12,740 --> 00:31:14,332 Mozart's quill. 314 00:31:17,780 --> 00:31:19,054 Beethoven's balls. 315 00:31:24,860 --> 00:31:27,772 I'll take you to the graveyard. Lots of famous people 316 00:31:28,220 --> 00:31:32,008 are buried here. Rocky Marciano, Benny Goodman, and 317 00:31:32,460 --> 00:31:33,734 William Shakespeare. 318 00:31:34,660 --> 00:31:35,934 I think he wrote "Hamlet" Part 8 319 00:31:36,380 --> 00:31:37,733 "The Revenge," here. 320 00:31:53,860 --> 00:31:54,849 Whose grave is this? 321 00:31:55,300 --> 00:31:56,335 - Mine. - No, 322 00:31:56,780 --> 00:31:58,532 who'll be buried here? His name? 323 00:31:58,980 --> 00:32:00,891 - It's not a he. - OK, she. 324 00:32:01,340 --> 00:32:02,568 Not a woman either. 325 00:32:04,300 --> 00:32:07,098 Used to be a woman, now she's dead. 326 00:32:07,940 --> 00:32:09,168 A funny gravedigger. 327 00:32:09,620 --> 00:32:12,418 Wanna know how long it takes a body to rot? - Boy, do we! 328 00:32:12,860 --> 00:32:15,055 Well, if they're not already 329 00:32:15,500 --> 00:32:18,970 rotten, 8 or 9 years. The Beverly Hills women can last 12. 330 00:32:19,420 --> 00:32:24,778 How come? - Their skin is so tanned. It's all stretched and polished up. 331 00:32:25,220 --> 00:32:28,895 That'll keep the water out, and water's what ruins a dead body. 332 00:32:29,340 --> 00:32:33,458 And they have them extra parts. That stuff's not biodegradable. 333 00:32:36,060 --> 00:32:38,290 This bloke's been here 35 years. 334 00:32:38,740 --> 00:32:39,729 Who was he? 335 00:32:40,180 --> 00:32:41,579 The magician, Blunderman. 336 00:32:42,020 --> 00:32:44,011 Not so great now, is he? 337 00:32:48,540 --> 00:32:50,132 I knew him. 338 00:32:51,260 --> 00:32:53,899 He was funny. He taught me magic. 339 00:32:55,900 --> 00:32:59,495 - A fellow of infinite jest... - Yeah. - That's it. 340 00:32:59,940 --> 00:33:02,215 He hath borne me on his back a thousand times. 341 00:33:02,660 --> 00:33:04,378 She knows, she's got it. 342 00:33:04,820 --> 00:33:06,458 Where be your gibes now? 343 00:33:07,820 --> 00:33:10,857 Your merriment that would set the table on a roar? 344 00:33:14,460 --> 00:33:18,976 Interesting people usually make me feel like I have to be interesting. 345 00:33:19,500 --> 00:33:20,899 Am I interesting? 346 00:33:21,500 --> 00:33:25,254 When I'm around you, I find myself showing off, 347 00:33:25,700 --> 00:33:28,339 which is the idiot's version of being interesting. 348 00:33:30,220 --> 00:33:32,051 Are you seeing anyone now? 349 00:33:35,620 --> 00:33:38,009 - Yeah. - Me, too. So that's sort of out. 350 00:33:39,100 --> 00:33:41,091 Can I have your friend's head back? 351 00:33:41,540 --> 00:33:42,893 Sure. Sorry. 352 00:33:45,660 --> 00:33:48,049 - I should get to work. - Me, too. 353 00:33:52,020 --> 00:33:55,854 Come back, they all do! Don't they? 354 00:33:56,820 --> 00:34:01,336 What a weekend! We have sun, earth, and atmosphere, so we have weather! 355 00:34:01,780 --> 00:34:05,136 Not weather, sun, sun, sun, sun, sun! 356 00:34:05,580 --> 00:34:06,854 It will... 357 00:34:07,500 --> 00:34:09,411 My watch! Turn off the magnet! 358 00:34:10,500 --> 00:34:12,331 I've got it! 359 00:34:14,460 --> 00:34:16,690 Okay... Turn off the magnet! 360 00:34:17,980 --> 00:34:19,493 Now, the financial report. 361 00:34:19,940 --> 00:34:23,330 '89 Mercedes up 400 dollars at 28,640... 362 00:34:23,780 --> 00:34:27,932 used '88 Mercedes, unchanged at 26, 100 dollars. 363 00:34:29,020 --> 00:34:30,339 And... cut. 364 00:34:32,140 --> 00:34:33,892 OK, let's see what we've got. 365 00:34:34,340 --> 00:34:37,776 - You'll run that on Saturday? - Pre-taping the weather? 366 00:34:38,220 --> 00:34:41,735 Coming in on weekends is tough. My busy weekend schedule. 367 00:34:42,180 --> 00:34:44,296 It's L. A, what's gonna change? 368 00:34:59,420 --> 00:35:03,379 There are two reasons for the detour I was embarking on. 369 00:35:03,860 --> 00:35:04,975 See you tomorrow! 370 00:35:08,420 --> 00:35:10,536 - Are you closed? - Yeah, sorry. 371 00:35:11,700 --> 00:35:13,531 First, I believed the relationship 372 00:35:13,980 --> 00:35:15,732 with Sara was impossible. 373 00:35:18,580 --> 00:35:22,937 The second reason was, I was a big dumb male. 374 00:35:24,460 --> 00:35:26,132 I came to pick up pants. 375 00:35:27,260 --> 00:35:29,535 You sold me some pants and a tie. 376 00:35:29,980 --> 00:35:32,938 - I remember. You wanna pick them up? - Yeah. 377 00:35:33,780 --> 00:35:38,615 I can get them. - I wouldn't have to come back. - That wouldn't be so bad. 378 00:35:39,060 --> 00:35:40,288 I don't have my ticket. 379 00:35:40,740 --> 00:35:44,289 I remember what they look like. I'll be right back. 380 00:35:44,740 --> 00:35:45,809 I'm getting all wet. 381 00:35:46,260 --> 00:35:47,773 I'll be right back. 382 00:35:56,540 --> 00:36:00,931 They're not ready yet. We'll call you. What's the number? 383 00:36:01,380 --> 00:36:02,938 I'll write it. 384 00:36:06,140 --> 00:36:07,334 You got paper? 385 00:36:18,940 --> 00:36:21,408 OK, we'll call you when they're ready. 386 00:36:59,740 --> 00:37:01,378 Expecting a call? 387 00:37:09,980 --> 00:37:12,130 - Were you shocked? - Shocked but glad. 388 00:37:12,580 --> 00:37:16,334 I could tell you wanted my number, so I just asked for yours. 389 00:37:16,780 --> 00:37:19,169 I didn't know, until it was too late. 390 00:37:19,620 --> 00:37:22,737 I went to this psychic once, 391 00:37:23,180 --> 00:37:26,934 and he told me I had this special fifth sense about things. 392 00:37:27,380 --> 00:37:28,859 About guys? 393 00:37:29,300 --> 00:37:32,497 - Any guy would want your number. - That's sweet. 394 00:37:32,940 --> 00:37:34,055 Weather guy! 395 00:37:34,500 --> 00:37:35,933 How you doing? 396 00:37:36,980 --> 00:37:38,652 I'm nervous here. 397 00:37:39,100 --> 00:37:41,056 You're not doing anything wrong. 398 00:37:41,860 --> 00:37:45,739 - You must have a boyfriend? - He doesn't care. He can't care. 399 00:37:46,180 --> 00:37:49,729 He gave me this big speech, how even though we live together, 400 00:37:50,380 --> 00:37:51,335 we should be able 401 00:37:51,780 --> 00:37:54,135 to see other people. I said OK, but 402 00:37:54,860 --> 00:37:56,452 it backfires on him sometimes. 403 00:37:56,900 --> 00:37:58,049 Where is he now? 404 00:37:58,900 --> 00:38:00,379 He's at the bar. 405 00:38:00,940 --> 00:38:01,850 What? 406 00:38:02,460 --> 00:38:04,018 This was his idea. 407 00:38:04,460 --> 00:38:05,575 This is him! 408 00:38:11,700 --> 00:38:12,928 Do you want my number? 409 00:38:13,700 --> 00:38:16,931 No, no! That would be a disaster. Then I might call you. 410 00:38:17,380 --> 00:38:21,339 - It's 5-5-5-2-3-1-2. Say it back! - No, I don't want to know it. 411 00:38:21,780 --> 00:38:24,931 - 5-5-5-2... - Stop it! You'll make me memorize it! 412 00:38:25,380 --> 00:38:27,052 5-5-5... 413 00:38:27,500 --> 00:38:30,936 - 2-3-1-2. - Geez, now I know it. 5-5-5... 414 00:38:31,380 --> 00:38:32,733 2-3-1-2. 415 00:38:35,300 --> 00:38:36,369 Your name again? 416 00:38:38,980 --> 00:38:41,733 It's nice but everybody has weird names now, 417 00:38:42,180 --> 00:38:46,059 like Tiffany with p-h-i, and instead of Nancy it's Nanceen. 418 00:38:46,500 --> 00:38:49,856 - Big S and D, two E's, second one big. - What? 419 00:38:50,300 --> 00:38:52,575 S-a-n-D-e-E. And a star at the end. 420 00:39:32,060 --> 00:39:33,971 I called you when I got out of class. 421 00:39:34,420 --> 00:39:37,457 - What class are you taking? - For spokesmodeling. 422 00:39:37,900 --> 00:39:40,209 - What is a spokesmodel? - Just a model 423 00:39:40,660 --> 00:39:44,938 who speaks, and she points at things like merchandise, 424 00:39:45,380 --> 00:39:50,010 like a car or washer and dryer, or a book or fine art prints. 425 00:39:50,460 --> 00:39:53,691 - They have classes for that? - It's harder than it looks. 426 00:39:54,140 --> 00:39:57,769 - I'll be your robber today. - How are you? - How long is class? 427 00:39:58,220 --> 00:40:00,939 - About three hours. - What made you want to do that? 428 00:40:01,380 --> 00:40:02,938 Well, I always like pointing. 429 00:40:04,740 --> 00:40:07,937 - So, why won't you sleep with me? - With my ex-husband? 430 00:40:08,380 --> 00:40:09,654 It happens all the time. 431 00:40:10,100 --> 00:40:13,331 - It might be just like it was. - That would be terrible. 432 00:40:14,860 --> 00:40:18,933 - Come on, we're a perfect match. - Because our mothers hunt together? 433 00:40:19,380 --> 00:40:22,338 For God's sake, your mother shot my mother! 434 00:40:22,980 --> 00:40:24,936 Someone fell, it was an accident. 435 00:40:25,380 --> 00:40:26,859 You're the only normal one, 436 00:40:27,300 --> 00:40:28,733 and you're barely hanging on. 437 00:40:29,180 --> 00:40:31,933 Remember when your mom found out whose dog was crapping in front of 438 00:40:32,380 --> 00:40:35,656 your house and she put their name on paper in the center of the pile? 439 00:40:36,100 --> 00:40:39,615 These are not things grown-ups do! I'm the only sane thing in your life. 440 00:40:40,460 --> 00:40:43,054 - Yes, possibly. - I want you back. 441 00:40:43,500 --> 00:40:46,936 I'll cook and sew for you. Just give me one weekend. 442 00:40:47,580 --> 00:40:49,536 We can see how it is. 443 00:40:50,500 --> 00:40:51,933 Will you come? 444 00:40:53,820 --> 00:40:58,575 I went roller skating once at the Brooklyn Rollerdome. 445 00:40:59,220 --> 00:41:02,929 It was awful. I was completely out of control. 446 00:41:03,380 --> 00:41:09,250 I went slamming into this 8-foot tall black guy in a green satin jump suit. 447 00:41:09,900 --> 00:41:13,131 I said, "I'm sorry, could you help me?" And he looked at me 448 00:41:13,580 --> 00:41:18,734 with stoned eyes and said: "Let your mind go and your body will follow." 449 00:41:27,940 --> 00:41:30,135 Well, how was that? 450 00:41:31,020 --> 00:41:33,136 It was very nice, thanks. 451 00:41:36,620 --> 00:41:41,136 I hope I wasn't too young in my thinking for you. - What? - Joke. 452 00:41:43,300 --> 00:41:46,531 - I don't pressure you, do I? - No. I don't pressure you, do I? 453 00:41:46,980 --> 00:41:49,733 - No, there shouldn't be any. - Tell me if I do. 454 00:41:50,180 --> 00:41:52,136 OK, and you tell me if I do. 455 00:41:55,380 --> 00:41:57,132 You ever had a high colonic? 456 00:41:57,580 --> 00:41:59,536 - Pardon me? - A high colonic. 457 00:42:00,580 --> 00:42:02,536 - You mean an enema? - Yeah. 458 00:42:03,860 --> 00:42:05,339 Is this a joke? 459 00:42:05,780 --> 00:42:09,898 They're great. They purify you. They do it in a place in Santa Monica. 460 00:42:10,580 --> 00:42:11,729 They're great. 461 00:42:13,620 --> 00:42:15,929 - Is this where you live? - Yeah, here. 462 00:42:18,220 --> 00:42:19,938 It's really groovy. 463 00:42:22,300 --> 00:42:23,255 Well... 464 00:42:24,060 --> 00:42:25,095 Good night. 465 00:42:25,580 --> 00:42:26,729 Good night. 466 00:42:53,700 --> 00:42:56,737 - Take me off that speaker-phone! - Relax. 467 00:42:58,180 --> 00:43:00,978 - It's just a modern day device. - I have to see you. 468 00:43:01,420 --> 00:43:02,933 - You were out last night? - Yeah. 469 00:43:03,380 --> 00:43:06,736 - There was no shower? - I didn't go at the last minute. 470 00:43:07,580 --> 00:43:12,529 Having sex with my agent. I told you a thousand... - How did you know? 471 00:43:13,740 --> 00:43:17,210 I was right? I was right? 472 00:43:18,500 --> 00:43:23,130 I was making a bad joke. My agent, Frank? 473 00:43:23,740 --> 00:43:25,332 And this is how I find out? 474 00:43:25,780 --> 00:43:29,819 - You tell me? - We just decided I should tell you. 475 00:43:30,820 --> 00:43:34,176 - I thought he only took ten percent. - We were here. 476 00:43:34,700 --> 00:43:37,931 - Then... - After he made love to you, what? 477 00:43:38,380 --> 00:43:39,938 We went to the Hard Rock Café. 478 00:43:40,380 --> 00:43:41,529 What time? 479 00:43:42,300 --> 00:43:44,131 I don't know... 11:00 or 11:30. 480 00:43:45,340 --> 00:43:48,252 I felt I had to tell you in case anyone saw us there. 481 00:43:49,060 --> 00:43:50,539 It was a dumb thing to do. 482 00:43:50,980 --> 00:43:52,254 How long has this gone on? 483 00:43:53,500 --> 00:43:56,731 - Three years. - Three years! - I'm sorry. 484 00:43:57,500 --> 00:43:59,730 This has gone on since the 80s? 485 00:44:04,980 --> 00:44:08,290 I'm sorry. I just can't be here right now. 486 00:44:24,300 --> 00:44:26,655 I'm out of my relationship, I'm out of the agency! 487 00:44:27,100 --> 00:44:29,375 And I only looked like a fool for 3 years! 488 00:44:30,420 --> 00:44:32,172 Now, if I could get out of weather. 489 00:44:35,500 --> 00:44:37,218 Will you stop predicting things! 490 00:44:38,100 --> 00:44:40,739 Have you always been a freeway sign? 491 00:44:41,180 --> 00:44:44,729 Or did you start as a stop sign and work your way up from there? 492 00:44:45,460 --> 00:44:48,179 I BELIEVE I USED TO BE A BAGPIPE 493 00:44:50,300 --> 00:44:51,289 Oh, alright. 494 00:44:58,740 --> 00:45:02,369 Would you stop predicting then? 495 00:45:02,820 --> 00:45:04,538 Yes. 496 00:45:10,580 --> 00:45:11,854 So I pre-tape the weather 497 00:45:12,300 --> 00:45:13,733 and some sailors lost their boats. 498 00:45:14,180 --> 00:45:16,933 Big deal! Besides, what kind of 499 00:45:17,380 --> 00:45:21,817 asshole sailor would trust the wacky weatherman anyway? - This one. 500 00:45:22,260 --> 00:45:23,613 - You lost your boat? - Yes. 501 00:45:24,060 --> 00:45:25,175 You're fired. 502 00:45:25,620 --> 00:45:27,338 I never want to see you. 503 00:45:30,180 --> 00:45:33,411 I said I never want to see you. You're fired. 504 00:45:39,180 --> 00:45:41,740 The weather will change your life, twice. 505 00:45:43,260 --> 00:45:44,739 That's once. 506 00:45:46,580 --> 00:45:49,936 You and Trudy broke up? I knew your relationship was a "two." 507 00:45:53,940 --> 00:45:56,135 If love is ruining your day, 508 00:45:56,580 --> 00:45:59,492 it's always good to ruin your best friend's day, too. 509 00:46:02,580 --> 00:46:07,938 Trudi wasn't for me. The only fun we had was sex and watching TV. 510 00:46:08,580 --> 00:46:10,889 - Good turn. - I hate to say this, 511 00:46:11,340 --> 00:46:13,012 but if sex and watching 512 00:46:13,460 --> 00:46:17,453 - TV are fun, you really got something. - What happened to my plant? 513 00:46:19,780 --> 00:46:21,691 Is anybody else out there? 514 00:46:22,140 --> 00:46:25,257 - There is, but it's impossible. - Does she like you? 515 00:46:27,380 --> 00:46:28,733 I don't know. 516 00:46:29,180 --> 00:46:31,216 Just call this Sandy girl. 517 00:46:31,660 --> 00:46:33,412 At least you could take her out. 518 00:46:38,140 --> 00:46:40,096 Thanks a lot, it was great! 519 00:46:45,380 --> 00:46:46,893 What do you think? 520 00:46:47,540 --> 00:46:51,499 - I think it was a total washout. - It really clears out your head. 521 00:46:51,940 --> 00:46:55,728 Head? You should go back in there and tell them they're doing it wrong. 522 00:46:57,740 --> 00:46:59,731 It was a great lunch and enema. 523 00:47:01,060 --> 00:47:03,733 - You gonna see me again? - Sure, if you want to. 524 00:47:04,500 --> 00:47:06,889 - When? - Friday. Friday okay? 525 00:47:07,780 --> 00:47:09,657 - Yeah. - Where do you wanna go? 526 00:47:10,180 --> 00:47:12,535 There's this new restaurant... 527 00:47:13,980 --> 00:47:18,132 ..."L'idiot." - I've heard of that. "L'idiot," you and me on Friday. 528 00:47:19,660 --> 00:47:20,775 Hello, "L'idiot..." 529 00:47:21,220 --> 00:47:23,131 Reservation for two for Friday. 530 00:47:26,340 --> 00:47:27,329 Saturday? 531 00:47:30,500 --> 00:47:33,139 Sunday? Good... 8:30? 532 00:47:34,420 --> 00:47:36,138 5:30 or 10:30? 533 00:47:37,580 --> 00:47:38,535 Um, 5:30. 534 00:47:39,700 --> 00:47:40,735 Visa. 535 00:47:41,820 --> 00:47:43,856 I'm a weatherman. 536 00:47:44,300 --> 00:47:45,733 Yes, I'm on TV. 537 00:47:47,140 --> 00:47:48,334 Renting. 538 00:47:48,980 --> 00:47:50,891 I just sold a condo! 539 00:47:51,340 --> 00:47:53,331 Yes, in this soft market! 540 00:47:54,780 --> 00:47:56,736 That's none of your business. 541 00:47:57,780 --> 00:47:59,736 In the low fifties. 542 00:48:01,180 --> 00:48:02,738 I can meet you at 3:00. 543 00:48:04,900 --> 00:48:06,652 I have Visa and Mastercard. 544 00:48:07,100 --> 00:48:09,136 They all have both. 545 00:48:09,580 --> 00:48:13,334 Mr. Pardeau is looking for more than a promise to pay. 546 00:48:13,780 --> 00:48:16,453 He's looking for a kind of depth 547 00:48:16,900 --> 00:48:18,697 in your financial sea. 548 00:48:19,860 --> 00:48:23,057 Let's make this easier. Suppose you get 549 00:48:23,500 --> 00:48:25,775 the reservation and suppose 550 00:48:26,220 --> 00:48:28,688 you come down and we honor it. 551 00:48:30,620 --> 00:48:32,929 What might you order? 552 00:48:37,620 --> 00:48:39,258 I might like the duck. 553 00:48:39,700 --> 00:48:41,770 - You can't. - You can't. 554 00:48:42,220 --> 00:48:45,849 Why? - With this financial statement, you think you can have the duck? 555 00:48:48,660 --> 00:48:50,537 Where do you summer? 556 00:48:51,300 --> 00:48:52,255 Excuse me? 557 00:48:52,700 --> 00:48:55,453 Where do you spend your summers? 558 00:48:57,780 --> 00:48:58,735 Here. 559 00:48:59,580 --> 00:49:02,048 - The chicken. - You can have the chicken. 560 00:49:02,500 --> 00:49:04,331 What about my date? 561 00:49:04,780 --> 00:49:07,419 You can urge her in one direction. 562 00:49:09,020 --> 00:49:14,140 Either we go there and she orders what she wants or let's forget it. 563 00:49:20,860 --> 00:49:22,054 Alright. 564 00:49:22,500 --> 00:49:24,013 I like a little gamble. 565 00:49:24,460 --> 00:49:25,859 We can take you... 566 00:49:28,020 --> 00:49:29,248 in eight weeks. 567 00:49:30,420 --> 00:49:32,980 Sandy, I heard bad things about "L'idiot". 568 00:49:33,420 --> 00:49:38,335 And I went down there and the chef had a big open sore on his lip. 569 00:49:39,500 --> 00:49:42,651 I know, I know, I did. I'm really sorry. 570 00:49:43,380 --> 00:49:47,692 What if we went away for the weekend, like Santa Barbara? 571 00:49:50,300 --> 00:49:52,860 Roland thinks L.A. is for the braindead. 572 00:49:53,300 --> 00:49:56,656 He says if the sprinklers stopped you'd have a desert. 573 00:49:57,100 --> 00:49:58,533 But I think... 574 00:49:59,340 --> 00:50:01,934 I don't know. It's not what I expected. 575 00:50:02,860 --> 00:50:07,092 It's where they've taken the desert and turned it into their dreams. 576 00:50:14,180 --> 00:50:16,978 I think it's also a place of secrets. 577 00:50:17,420 --> 00:50:20,332 Secret houses, lives, pleasures... 578 00:50:20,780 --> 00:50:22,418 And no one is looking 579 00:50:22,860 --> 00:50:25,932 for verification that what they're doing is OK. 580 00:50:29,780 --> 00:50:31,338 What do you say, Roland? 581 00:50:32,460 --> 00:50:34,576 It's a place for the braindead. 582 00:50:35,300 --> 00:50:37,291 Why do you have to be so snotty? 583 00:50:38,180 --> 00:50:40,330 I think you're being superior. 584 00:50:41,460 --> 00:50:44,258 I've met some pretty intelligent people here. 585 00:51:01,300 --> 00:51:02,528 I'm sorry... 586 00:51:07,020 --> 00:51:09,534 This is one of the people I spoke about. 587 00:51:09,980 --> 00:51:12,574 Harris Telemacher, Roland Mackey. You met at lunch. 588 00:51:13,020 --> 00:51:15,136 - Have you tried the Guggenheim? - I get that. 589 00:51:15,580 --> 00:51:18,652 - Because it's circular and downhill. - I got it. 590 00:51:21,020 --> 00:51:24,171 Ariel, this is Roland Mackey and Sara McDowel. 591 00:51:24,940 --> 00:51:27,579 - I loved your TV bit. - I loved yours, too. 592 00:51:28,020 --> 00:51:29,578 - But... - I can... 593 00:51:30,020 --> 00:51:32,580 - Oh I see. - It's a... - You're very funny. 594 00:51:34,420 --> 00:51:35,773 You have a lot of verve. 595 00:51:37,500 --> 00:51:38,455 Verve? 596 00:51:40,380 --> 00:51:41,813 Want to walk with us? 597 00:51:43,460 --> 00:51:47,135 I like the relationships. Each character has his own story. 598 00:51:47,580 --> 00:51:51,732 The puppy is a bit too much, but you have to overlook that. 599 00:51:52,780 --> 00:51:56,853 The way he's holding her, it's almost... filthy. 600 00:51:57,540 --> 00:52:02,136 He's about to kiss her and she's pulling away... 601 00:52:02,980 --> 00:52:06,211 The way his leg is smashed up against her... 602 00:52:07,460 --> 00:52:11,738 Look how he's painted the blouse, sort of translucent, 603 00:52:12,180 --> 00:52:15,809 you can make out her breast, and it's sort of touching him... 604 00:52:16,260 --> 00:52:19,377 It's really pretty torrid, don't you think? 605 00:52:19,980 --> 00:52:24,929 And of course you have the onlookers peeking out like they're all shocked. 606 00:52:25,660 --> 00:52:27,139 They wish. 607 00:52:28,220 --> 00:52:32,736 I must admit, when I see a painting like this, I get emotionally... 608 00:52:33,260 --> 00:52:34,295 Erect. 609 00:52:46,180 --> 00:52:51,300 - Those paintings of food got me hungry. - I could eat some paintings of food. 610 00:52:53,100 --> 00:52:54,328 It was fun. 611 00:52:54,780 --> 00:52:58,534 - It was lovely to meet you. - Great running into you. 612 00:53:01,100 --> 00:53:04,536 - What were you doing in there? - That's the girl I like. 613 00:53:05,020 --> 00:53:08,729 - You've really blown it. - Let's all go out for dinner. 614 00:53:09,940 --> 00:53:15,173 I've heard of meeting accidentally and going to dinner, but I never did it. 615 00:53:15,900 --> 00:53:18,573 - He loves me. - Everyone does. - "L'idiot"? 616 00:53:19,020 --> 00:53:22,808 - I've heard of that place. - We'll never get in, it's impossible. 617 00:53:23,260 --> 00:53:26,138 - There's a phone. - Suit yourself. 618 00:53:26,700 --> 00:53:30,739 - I can't go. Could they take you home? - I don't want to impose. 619 00:53:31,180 --> 00:53:34,968 - It's no problem. We got two cars. - Ariel, are you coming? 620 00:53:35,420 --> 00:53:37,331 - I can't. - Dinner for three. 621 00:53:37,780 --> 00:53:42,331 - It's all set. How should we do this? - Why doesn't he come with me? 622 00:53:43,180 --> 00:53:46,013 I know where it is and she doesn't 623 00:53:46,460 --> 00:53:50,738 so I could tell her where it was, otherwise we'd end up drawing a map, 624 00:53:51,180 --> 00:53:55,298 unless I drove your car and you went with her... 625 00:53:55,740 --> 00:53:57,731 - Is Roland your boyfriend? - No, just friends. 626 00:53:58,180 --> 00:54:03,049 That's good. I mean it's fine that I can drive with you. 627 00:54:06,260 --> 00:54:08,251 Right side! Get on the right side! 628 00:54:12,900 --> 00:54:14,856 I don't think he can hear you. 629 00:54:41,420 --> 00:54:44,696 - Your usual table, Mr. Christopher? - No, a good one. 630 00:54:45,140 --> 00:54:46,459 That is impossible. 631 00:54:47,700 --> 00:54:49,577 - Part of the new cruelty? - Yes. 632 00:54:50,020 --> 00:54:51,738 Table 253. 633 00:54:53,620 --> 00:54:54,769 What do you want? 634 00:54:55,220 --> 00:54:56,699 Want our specials? 635 00:54:57,140 --> 00:55:01,053 I'm gonna tell you what we got to eat, 636 00:55:01,500 --> 00:55:05,539 we got primavera pasta, and six different kinds of meat! 637 00:55:07,020 --> 00:55:08,772 Wow, I'm done already. 638 00:55:10,300 --> 00:55:12,530 "We got spicy guacamole 639 00:55:12,980 --> 00:55:14,538 and brie quesadilla, 640 00:55:14,980 --> 00:55:18,575 we got goat cheese pizza on a blue corn tortilla..." 641 00:55:19,020 --> 00:55:20,453 Floss? 642 00:55:20,900 --> 00:55:23,368 - I'll have floss. - Diet or regular? - Regular. 643 00:55:23,820 --> 00:55:27,369 "We got hot bread, milk-fed veal and new potatoes, 644 00:55:27,820 --> 00:55:29,572 we got a hundred different ways 645 00:55:30,020 --> 00:55:32,659 to cook a couple of tomatoes." 646 00:55:38,620 --> 00:55:40,975 - I'll take you home. - What? 647 00:55:41,620 --> 00:55:44,692 - I live near you. I'll take you. - The cars are here. 648 00:55:45,140 --> 00:55:48,132 - I can take him. He lives near me. - Are you sure? 649 00:55:48,580 --> 00:55:52,732 - Yeah, no problem. - That's good, I live in the valley. 650 00:55:54,620 --> 00:55:59,740 I should take a cab. The drive over was a bit risky. - C'mon, get in. 651 00:56:01,220 --> 00:56:03,734 Promise me you'll see me this weekend? 652 00:56:05,820 --> 00:56:07,412 I will. I promise. 653 00:56:09,300 --> 00:56:10,528 See you at the weekend. 654 00:56:15,980 --> 00:56:17,333 Right side! 655 00:56:32,740 --> 00:56:34,810 - It was fun. - Yes, it was. 656 00:56:36,860 --> 00:56:38,179 I like Roland. 657 00:56:38,620 --> 00:56:42,329 - Yes, he's nice, isn't he? - Yeah, it's interesting that you 658 00:56:42,780 --> 00:56:44,418 can have a relationship 659 00:56:44,860 --> 00:56:46,418 that's more friendly 660 00:56:46,860 --> 00:56:48,293 than sexual. 661 00:56:51,660 --> 00:56:54,049 So... Good night. 662 00:57:07,780 --> 00:57:09,213 Car's rolling! 663 00:57:09,780 --> 00:57:11,930 - It's locked! - It's locked here, too! 664 00:57:12,380 --> 00:57:17,659 - Where are the keys? - In the ignition. - How did the car get locked? 665 00:57:18,100 --> 00:57:21,331 - I didn't lock it! - We gotta stop it from rolling. 666 00:57:21,780 --> 00:57:25,534 - Are we on a hill? - Yeah, but it's sloped the other way! 667 00:57:25,980 --> 00:57:28,210 - I got it! - I got it! 668 00:57:39,980 --> 00:57:42,574 I think I know what this is. 669 00:57:43,620 --> 00:57:45,133 - Get in! - What? 670 00:57:45,620 --> 00:57:48,737 It's alright. You can trust me. Go ahead, get in! 671 00:57:53,020 --> 00:57:55,932 It's alright. Stay in! 672 00:57:59,180 --> 00:58:01,455 I think we're fine. Don't paw me! 673 00:58:02,780 --> 00:58:06,534 Get over here! Let me not drive! - Why? 674 00:58:19,220 --> 00:58:21,370 This is the sign I told you about. 675 00:58:21,820 --> 00:58:23,538 What is it? 676 00:58:24,020 --> 00:58:26,090 I think I figured out the car. 677 00:58:26,780 --> 00:58:29,692 I read an article in the Times... 678 00:58:40,780 --> 00:58:42,213 ...electrical currents... 679 00:58:59,980 --> 00:59:02,130 My head hurts. 680 00:59:03,900 --> 00:59:05,856 I think I should go. 681 00:59:17,700 --> 00:59:19,531 Do you want to come in? 682 00:59:20,820 --> 00:59:22,014 Why? 683 00:59:22,700 --> 00:59:26,579 Yeah... sorry. We're moving too fast. 684 00:59:28,980 --> 00:59:32,211 - But we should see each other again. - Yes. 685 00:59:33,460 --> 00:59:34,939 I suppose. 686 00:59:38,020 --> 00:59:40,534 - What's today? - Thursday. 687 00:59:42,180 --> 00:59:43,533 The weekend? 688 00:59:46,140 --> 00:59:50,133 I'm supposed to see my ex this weekend. I'm sorry. 689 00:59:51,020 --> 00:59:53,375 I promised. It's a deal. 690 00:59:53,820 --> 00:59:56,937 I've got a few things to do, also. 691 00:59:58,260 --> 00:59:59,454 My mother 692 01:00:00,220 --> 01:00:02,176 has a bridge luncheon... 693 01:00:04,500 --> 01:00:06,855 I'm supposed to go to a fund-raising dinner tomorrow. 694 01:00:07,300 --> 01:00:08,858 It's formal, you know... 695 01:00:09,300 --> 01:00:11,530 but I thought to take you would be... 696 01:00:12,860 --> 01:00:14,009 fantastic. 697 01:00:14,460 --> 01:00:17,213 Not a date, just a do. Are you interested? 698 01:00:18,020 --> 01:00:20,250 - Alright. - Alright? - Yes. 699 01:00:20,700 --> 01:00:22,691 So I'll take that as a "yes." 700 01:00:27,620 --> 01:00:31,499 It's wonderful you see your mother. That reminds me, I should call mine. 701 01:00:32,020 --> 01:00:35,729 Yeah, you got your ex, and I got that whole bridge thing. 702 01:00:48,100 --> 01:00:50,933 - Hello... Mom? - Hello, darling. How are you? 703 01:00:51,380 --> 01:00:52,176 I'm fine. 704 01:00:52,620 --> 01:00:54,850 - Are you busy? - I'm making 56 705 01:00:55,300 --> 01:00:57,939 - papier-mâché hats. - Do you want to play? 706 01:00:58,380 --> 01:01:00,735 Always, darling. The usual? 707 01:01:41,260 --> 01:01:43,330 - Night-night, mom. - Night, darling. 708 01:02:38,900 --> 01:02:40,731 - You play the tuba? - No. 709 01:02:41,660 --> 01:02:45,335 I used to. But not now. I mean, I was before you arrived. 710 01:02:45,780 --> 01:02:47,133 I did. 711 01:02:47,900 --> 01:02:49,333 I forgot something. 712 01:02:53,660 --> 01:02:54,729 Ready. 713 01:02:55,980 --> 01:02:59,529 - Are you alright? - Yeah, I'm just going out too much. 714 01:03:00,540 --> 01:03:04,897 When you go out too much, you feel like you never stay home. 715 01:03:05,340 --> 01:03:08,298 - Are you upset about last night? - No, I understand. 716 01:03:08,740 --> 01:03:11,538 My car rolled, then your tongue was in my mouth. 717 01:03:11,980 --> 01:03:16,371 That was a lozenge. - My mouth shouldn't accept lozenges right now. 718 01:03:18,580 --> 01:03:21,333 You're passionate. You just keep denying it. 719 01:03:21,780 --> 01:03:24,010 Just relax and give in to it. 720 01:03:24,500 --> 01:03:26,138 - You don't. - What? 721 01:03:26,580 --> 01:03:30,334 I can hardly contain myself when I'm around you. I go crazy 722 01:03:30,780 --> 01:03:32,736 - when I see you. - That's the trouble. 723 01:03:33,180 --> 01:03:36,172 You're rollerskating, amusing yourself, your friends, and me. 724 01:03:36,620 --> 01:03:38,929 - It's just a lot of noise. - What? 725 01:03:39,380 --> 01:03:44,056 I mean, we all try to prevent getting hurt. That's how you do it. 726 01:03:44,500 --> 01:03:45,899 Should we just forget it then? 727 01:03:46,340 --> 01:03:49,013 - If that's what you want, fine. - Fine. 728 01:03:49,460 --> 01:03:52,179 - Full service or self service? - Full, Tony. 729 01:04:09,420 --> 01:04:11,012 And I knew 730 01:04:11,460 --> 01:04:17,376 it was a great project. If the city were willing 731 01:04:17,820 --> 01:04:21,608 to partially finance my private museum. It would be 732 01:04:23,140 --> 01:04:28,419 a great bonus for the people. And so... 733 01:04:28,860 --> 01:04:29,895 I met with Ron. 734 01:04:31,940 --> 01:04:32,895 Ron... 735 01:04:34,180 --> 01:04:35,932 I toast you. 736 01:04:36,380 --> 01:04:37,813 Are you alright? 737 01:04:38,380 --> 01:04:40,336 I just feel a little dizzy. 738 01:04:41,780 --> 01:04:44,135 I should get some air, I'm nauseous. 739 01:04:46,500 --> 01:04:48,092 I'll take him out. 740 01:04:50,860 --> 01:04:53,738 And Ron felt like I did. 741 01:04:55,180 --> 01:04:57,819 - What's the matter? - I don't know. 742 01:04:58,260 --> 01:05:01,935 Something in my stomach or my head or my heart or... 743 01:05:02,380 --> 01:05:03,938 Can I do anything? 744 01:05:07,220 --> 01:05:09,688 I can't, this is how Mummy met Daddy. 745 01:05:11,020 --> 01:05:13,375 Let your mind go and your will follow. 746 01:05:31,500 --> 01:05:37,211 And now let us all move forward with great enthusiasm 747 01:05:37,660 --> 01:05:41,050 to build the greatest private museum in the world. 748 01:05:48,220 --> 01:05:51,496 - Are you feeling any better? - Much better, thanks. 749 01:05:51,940 --> 01:05:53,134 Yes, thanks. 750 01:06:02,380 --> 01:06:06,134 We didn't know what to say so we wandered down Melrose 751 01:06:06,580 --> 01:06:10,937 and had the kind of small talk necessary to cover what had happened. 752 01:06:11,380 --> 01:06:14,531 The station wants to try serious news 753 01:06:14,980 --> 01:06:18,211 with me as the anchor. No laughing or chit-chatting. 754 01:06:19,380 --> 01:06:22,895 So there I was jabbering about my new job, 755 01:06:23,340 --> 01:06:24,739 about anything at all. 756 01:06:25,500 --> 01:06:27,092 But all I thought was: 757 01:06:27,620 --> 01:06:31,454 Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful... 758 01:07:55,620 --> 01:07:58,737 Who wrote the "Tonight Show" theme? 759 01:08:01,820 --> 01:08:03,333 Where will we stay? 760 01:08:05,500 --> 01:08:08,617 Don't bounce. I came to tell you 761 01:08:09,060 --> 01:08:11,016 that I can't go away with you. 762 01:08:14,700 --> 01:08:17,214 I've been seeing someone, and it 763 01:08:17,660 --> 01:08:20,128 wouldn't be good to go away with you. 764 01:08:20,580 --> 01:08:22,138 I'm really sorry. 765 01:08:23,980 --> 01:08:26,335 So, you're seeing her this weekend? 766 01:08:26,780 --> 01:08:31,535 No, she's got this obligation to her ex, to see if it can work. 767 01:08:32,220 --> 01:08:34,131 - She's seeing someone else? - Yes. 768 01:08:34,580 --> 01:08:36,332 She's going away with him. 769 01:08:38,020 --> 01:08:39,931 Share how that makes you feel. 770 01:08:40,380 --> 01:08:43,338 Share? Share? It drives me crazy! 771 01:08:43,780 --> 01:08:46,852 I mean, especially since I've been working out! 772 01:08:47,300 --> 01:08:49,097 Look at the effort I put in! 773 01:08:49,540 --> 01:08:54,056 But it's fair, since she had this obligation before we even met. 774 01:08:54,500 --> 01:08:58,937 But you had this obligation. Why should you suffer all weekend? 775 01:09:00,820 --> 01:09:02,538 - No. - Go away with me. 776 01:09:02,980 --> 01:09:06,575 I can't. I would just be using you to get even with her. 777 01:09:07,020 --> 01:09:08,578 - I don't mind. - Let's go. 778 01:09:11,660 --> 01:09:14,128 We should be there in an hour and half. 779 01:09:14,580 --> 01:09:18,698 - I booked at the "El pollo del mar." - Beautiful. Wave to Jack! Bye. 780 01:09:19,900 --> 01:09:22,892 A million stars! And the beach... 781 01:09:23,340 --> 01:09:26,537 - I want to spin on the beach. - They have a special beach for that. 782 01:09:26,980 --> 01:09:32,737 - And I don't think we should make love. - OK, we'll just have sex. 783 01:09:36,660 --> 01:09:41,131 - What was Sam Spade's partner's name? - Archer. 784 01:09:42,900 --> 01:09:45,414 We might meet people at the Ysidero, 785 01:09:45,860 --> 01:09:47,737 I put us in the "El pollo del mar." 786 01:09:49,740 --> 01:09:51,139 I'm really excited! 787 01:09:55,060 --> 01:09:56,334 Me too. 788 01:10:01,940 --> 01:10:04,374 Who knew Groucho's secret word? 789 01:10:05,740 --> 01:10:08,334 Groucho's secret word... I give up. 790 01:10:09,380 --> 01:10:13,498 The Duck? - The Duck knew. Say the word and divide 100 dollars. 791 01:10:13,940 --> 01:10:19,298 When Wittgenstein's house was built, language philosophy hit the Bauhaus. 792 01:10:19,740 --> 01:10:21,731 I saw the house not long ago. 793 01:10:23,300 --> 01:10:26,895 - Who played "The Beav?" - Jerry Mathers. - Yes! 794 01:10:27,460 --> 01:10:32,853 "Oh wind, if winter comes, can spring be far behind?" - Beautiful. 795 01:10:34,220 --> 01:10:38,736 - Who was Howdy Doody's closest friend? - Buffalo Bob. 796 01:11:04,580 --> 01:11:08,937 - Fantastic! Do they have a pool? - Yes! Do you have a pool? 797 01:11:11,020 --> 01:11:13,136 I love this place! 798 01:11:59,580 --> 01:12:01,138 This breeze is great! 799 01:12:02,660 --> 01:12:06,050 - It feels great! - I love hotel sheets, and they feel 800 01:12:07,020 --> 01:12:09,250 so good against your bare skin. 801 01:12:09,700 --> 01:12:11,053 I'll put your bag in here. 802 01:12:11,900 --> 01:12:13,128 Come here first. 803 01:12:23,740 --> 01:12:25,253 Come here again. 804 01:12:37,620 --> 01:12:41,818 - Sandy, your breasts feel weird. - Oh, that's cause they're real. 805 01:12:46,140 --> 01:12:48,973 Let me get this shoe off. My God! 806 01:12:51,340 --> 01:12:52,739 I should warn you, 807 01:12:53,780 --> 01:12:57,932 I'm old and if I take a while... My God, I'm young again! 808 01:12:59,860 --> 01:13:03,899 - It's been great to see you again. - It's nice seeing you, too. 809 01:13:04,340 --> 01:13:05,534 How are you? 810 01:13:07,380 --> 01:13:09,416 Well, I'm confused. 811 01:13:12,260 --> 01:13:15,138 - Hey, listen to this. - What? - Listen. 812 01:13:25,420 --> 01:13:30,289 - What on earth are they doing? - Oh God, they're going crazy. 813 01:14:09,060 --> 01:14:13,133 Jack told me he wants to make our relationship exclusive. 814 01:14:13,580 --> 01:14:15,491 He's not gonna go out anymore? 815 01:14:15,940 --> 01:14:19,330 I don't think he could ever get a date. 816 01:14:19,780 --> 01:14:22,340 Seeing me go out drove him nuts. 817 01:14:22,780 --> 01:14:23,849 What now? 818 01:14:24,300 --> 01:14:29,533 I don't know. I really like him, even though he's not so smart. 819 01:14:36,660 --> 01:14:38,139 - Listen. - What? 820 01:14:39,580 --> 01:14:43,812 - Through the wall. - What is it? - Somebody's doing it. 821 01:14:44,260 --> 01:14:49,334 How beautiful. - They're really excited. They must be cheating. 822 01:15:10,900 --> 01:15:14,575 I don't believe it! Are you staying here? - Yes. 823 01:15:15,020 --> 01:15:19,855 There goes our cover. There are no secrets anymore. - I think there is. 824 01:15:24,180 --> 01:15:28,059 Roland, this is Sandy. Sandy, this is Roland, this is Sara. 825 01:15:29,460 --> 01:15:30,973 Where are you headed? 826 01:15:31,580 --> 01:15:33,138 - The restaurant. - Us, too. 827 01:15:33,580 --> 01:15:36,890 - Why don't you join us? - That would be neat. - No, 828 01:15:37,340 --> 01:15:41,538 you guys should be alone. - Don't be silly. We can't do that. Come on. 829 01:15:52,300 --> 01:15:56,737 - What's that clanging sound? - It's my damn testicles. 830 01:16:10,380 --> 01:16:12,530 - Is it okay to spin here? - Sure. 831 01:16:15,620 --> 01:16:18,453 Shall I get your sweater? I'm cold. - Yes, thanks. 832 01:16:18,900 --> 01:16:20,333 I'll run and get it. 833 01:16:21,300 --> 01:16:23,814 - Harris, want to come with me? - Sure. 834 01:16:25,300 --> 01:16:27,131 Actually, I'll stay here. 835 01:16:28,420 --> 01:16:30,251 Back in a flash! 836 01:16:31,860 --> 01:16:34,693 - You liar! - I come here thinking 837 01:16:35,140 --> 01:16:39,133 you're with your ex, and you're really giving it to my best friend! 838 01:16:39,580 --> 01:16:43,778 Your best friend? You've never even seen him without me! 839 01:16:44,220 --> 01:16:46,051 There's a bond among men! 840 01:16:47,780 --> 01:16:50,578 - Anyway, there's two liars here. - Roland is my ex! 841 01:16:53,900 --> 01:16:55,538 - Okay, one. - Hey, watch! 842 01:16:58,620 --> 01:17:01,054 - Great! - Thank you! 843 01:17:02,580 --> 01:17:04,810 You just broke up with someone? 844 01:17:05,260 --> 01:17:09,617 How do you know that? - When men just break up with someone, they always 845 01:17:10,060 --> 01:17:13,814 - run around with someone much younger. - She'll be 27 in 4 years. 846 01:17:15,660 --> 01:17:18,379 I'm with her but only think about you. 847 01:17:18,820 --> 01:17:20,697 Is that why you fucked her today? 848 01:17:21,140 --> 01:17:22,129 Yes! 849 01:17:22,940 --> 01:17:24,896 I know that doesn't make sense. 850 01:17:25,340 --> 01:17:27,934 But you almost broke through our wall! 851 01:17:28,380 --> 01:17:31,895 - You know how that made me feel? - You didn't even know it was me! 852 01:17:32,660 --> 01:17:35,538 Yeah... but I projected back when I found out. 853 01:17:36,820 --> 01:17:37,935 Coming! 854 01:17:40,580 --> 01:17:43,538 So close, we're this close to it! 855 01:17:44,140 --> 01:17:45,619 Stay here in L.A. 856 01:17:47,100 --> 01:17:49,056 What? How would it work? 857 01:17:49,620 --> 01:17:53,659 We'd see each other, take it easy at first and then... 858 01:17:54,660 --> 01:17:56,537 marriage, kids, old age, and death. 859 01:17:57,660 --> 01:17:59,218 What if I were to go? 860 01:18:01,020 --> 01:18:05,889 All I know is, on the day your plane was to leave, if I had the power, 861 01:18:06,340 --> 01:18:07,932 I would turn the winds around, 862 01:18:08,620 --> 01:18:11,532 roll in the fog, I would bring in storms, 863 01:18:12,340 --> 01:18:16,538 I would change the polarity of the earth so compasses couldn't work, 864 01:18:16,980 --> 01:18:19,175 so your plane couldn't take off. 865 01:18:27,380 --> 01:18:29,735 This is everything I didn't want. 866 01:18:30,180 --> 01:18:34,059 Pain... lying... complications. 867 01:18:36,660 --> 01:18:38,457 I'm hot from running now. 868 01:18:39,260 --> 01:18:42,013 - Let's all walk down to the pier. - Cool. 869 01:18:42,620 --> 01:18:46,613 Do you ever wonder why the water doesn't fly up into the sky? 870 01:18:51,860 --> 01:18:56,138 Do you want this in the trunk or up front? - That... up front. 871 01:19:03,660 --> 01:19:06,936 - What's the matter? You OK? - Oh, sorry... I'm okay. 872 01:19:08,100 --> 01:19:12,412 I've been working on Sara to come back with me. I'm her ex-husband. 873 01:19:13,060 --> 01:19:15,210 England and America are different. 874 01:19:15,660 --> 01:19:18,493 The English keep civil relations with their ex's. 875 01:19:18,940 --> 01:19:20,896 The Americans sue them. 876 01:19:25,100 --> 01:19:27,330 She told me today it's not right. 877 01:19:28,420 --> 01:19:31,730 Really? - Evidently, she's been seeing some American. 878 01:19:32,180 --> 01:19:35,297 - That can happen. - She's not going with him either. 879 01:19:35,740 --> 01:19:39,130 She's going back to London as soon as she can. 880 01:19:39,860 --> 01:19:41,134 Pity, 881 01:19:42,380 --> 01:19:44,132 I so wanted this to work out. 882 01:19:44,580 --> 01:19:46,935 I wanted a relationship, you know, 883 01:19:48,260 --> 01:19:49,932 like you and Sandy have. 884 01:19:57,260 --> 01:20:00,332 I've been thinking. I can be a man worth staying for. 885 01:20:00,780 --> 01:20:04,739 First, I can cry. Usually, it's when I'm hurt, but it's a start. 886 01:20:05,180 --> 01:20:08,536 I know there's something that would make you stay! 887 01:20:08,980 --> 01:20:11,289 The right word, attitude, plan... 888 01:20:11,740 --> 01:20:14,493 but these are all tricks! So let's forego that! 889 01:20:14,940 --> 01:20:18,455 Let's assume that it happened, that my hand went down 890 01:20:18,900 --> 01:20:21,289 your throat, grabbed your heart and squoze it! 891 01:20:22,860 --> 01:20:25,215 There comes a time when it's now or never! 892 01:20:25,660 --> 01:20:28,299 It's now or never! Listen to a poem. 893 01:20:28,740 --> 01:20:32,016 "Oh pointy birds, oh pointy, pointy, anoint..." 894 01:20:35,500 --> 01:20:39,209 And now, here's Morris Frost with a cinema review. 895 01:20:40,980 --> 01:20:43,096 The film, "Sliced Up Mommy," 896 01:20:43,540 --> 01:20:47,135 is an effort to intertwine the psychological nature of... 897 01:20:48,420 --> 01:20:50,536 I'd like to turn this car in. 898 01:20:50,980 --> 01:20:53,733 And now, the weather report. 899 01:20:54,660 --> 01:20:55,615 Sunny... 900 01:20:56,300 --> 01:20:57,494 72... 901 01:20:58,220 --> 01:20:59,335 That's the weather. 902 01:21:01,660 --> 01:21:05,653 Our next weather report will be in 4 days. - Thank you. 903 01:21:06,300 --> 01:21:10,134 We'll be right back after this commercial ad. 904 01:21:15,940 --> 01:21:19,728 Why is it that we don't always recognize when love begins, 905 01:21:20,620 --> 01:21:23,737 but we always know when it ends? 906 01:21:35,220 --> 01:21:37,051 Final destination is London? 907 01:24:28,540 --> 01:24:30,098 That's twice. 908 01:24:57,020 --> 01:25:01,935 Forget for this moment, the smog and the cars and the skating 909 01:25:02,540 --> 01:25:03,973 and remember only this: 910 01:25:05,020 --> 01:25:10,333 A kiss may not be the truth, but it is what we wish were true. 911 01:25:15,540 --> 01:25:20,330 - Wow! That was really something! - It was fantastic, 912 01:25:20,780 --> 01:25:23,419 - it was... - It had real class! 913 01:25:23,860 --> 01:25:27,739 Is there anything we can do to thank you? A gift or anything? 914 01:25:28,180 --> 01:25:29,932 Name it. 915 01:25:30,820 --> 01:25:34,210 Done. 916 01:25:34,660 --> 01:25:36,616 I never figured out the riddle. 917 01:25:42,940 --> 01:25:45,329 "How Daddy is doing." 918 01:25:45,780 --> 01:25:48,613 - It's a riddle too tough for me. - I know it. 919 01:25:50,020 --> 01:25:51,738 It's an English crossword clue. 920 01:25:52,180 --> 01:25:54,740 See, unscramble means rearrange. 921 01:25:58,060 --> 01:26:00,130 Change the "s" with the "h," 922 01:26:01,300 --> 01:26:04,372 move the "ing" after the "s," 923 01:26:04,980 --> 01:26:06,129 put the "do" after them. 924 01:26:07,580 --> 01:26:09,411 Swap the "h" and the "s." 925 01:26:10,300 --> 01:26:12,894 And put the "i" behind the "d." 926 01:26:17,060 --> 01:26:20,530 "Sing Doo Wah Diddy?" That's the mystery of the ages? 927 01:26:23,580 --> 01:26:24,535 I sat up nights 928 01:26:24,980 --> 01:26:28,450 working on that. But I forgive you. 929 01:26:31,260 --> 01:26:33,137 There's one thing I need to know. 930 01:26:34,780 --> 01:26:39,695 Did you do this? Did I do this? How did this happen? 931 01:26:44,900 --> 01:26:46,572 Hey, you got your voice back! 932 01:27:20,580 --> 01:27:23,936 There are only two things in my life I will never forget. 933 01:27:24,940 --> 01:27:27,932 One is that there is someone for everyone. 934 01:27:28,740 --> 01:27:32,653 Even if you need a pickax, a compass, and night goggles to find them. 935 01:27:33,100 --> 01:27:35,056 And the other... is tonight. 936 01:27:35,500 --> 01:27:39,937 When I learned that romance does exist deep in the heart of L.A.