I used to think a wedding was a simple affair.
Boy and girl meet. They fall in love. He buys a ring.
She buys a dress. They say, "I do."
I was wrong. That's getting married.
A wedding is an entirely different proposition.
I know. I've just been through one.
Not my own, my daughter's--
Annie Banks-MacKenzie.
That's her married name-- MacKenzie.
I'll be honest with you.
When I bought this house 17 years ago, it cost less than this blessed event...
in which Annie Banks became Annie Banks-MacKenzie.
I'm told that one day I'll look back on all this...
with great affection and nostalgia.
I hope so.
You fathers will understand.
You have a little girl...
an adorable little girl who looks up to you...
and adores you in a way you could never have imagined.
I remember how her little hand used to fit inside mine...
how she used to lover to sit on my lap and lean her head against my chest.
She said I was her hero.
Then the day comes when she wants to get her ears pierced...
and wants you to drop her off a block before the movie theater.
Next thing you know, she's wearing eye shadow and high heels.
From that moment on you're in a constant state of panic.
You worry about her going out with the wrong kind of guys...
the kind of guys who only want one thing.
And you know exactly what that one thing is...
because it's the same thing you wanted when you were their age.
Then she gets a little older...
and you quit worrying about her meeting the wrong guy...
and you worry about her meeting the right guy.
And that's the biggest fear of all because...
then you lose her.
And before you know it, you're sitting all alone in a big, empty house...
wearing rice on your tux, wondering what happened to your life.
It was just six months ago that it happened here.
Just six months ago that the storm broke.
Annie had been studying for her masters in architecture...
for the past semester in Rome.
I remember I was at work, walking through the factory.
I own a company called Sidekicks. We manufacture athletic shoes.
Anyway, I remember how preoccupied I was that day.
- I'm sorry, Mr Banks. - My fault, Grace.
Annie had never been that far away from home, and she was due back any minute.
I couldn't wait to see the kid.
George, she landed.
My daughter has been studying abroad, been flying for 11 hours.
I'm not wild about her being in the air. You have kids, Juan.
You understand. It's-It's better when they're on the ground.
I've always been a concerned parent.
I'm big on car seats, seat belts, bedtimes, curfews...
calling when you get somewhere, never running with a sharp object.
- Hi, George. - What can I say? I'm a father.
- Worrying comes with the territory. - Is Nina picking her up at the airport?
- Yeah. - And you're gonna meet them?
Yeah. Yeah, I'm going home right now.
I, uh-- My keys are--
- Here. - Oh, yeah. Sorry.
- And sign this. - Okay.
- Hat. - Okay, thanks. Now-- Oh!
- Okay. Bye. - Bring her by.
I left work early because I had a little something to pick up for Annie's homecoming.
We live in a small town in Southern California called San Marino.
I love this town, and not just because it's the kind of place...
where people still smile at each other...
- Bye. - but because it hasn't changed much in the past 25 years.
And since I'm not a guy who's big on change, this town fits me like a glove.
I got Annie's ten-speed all cleaned up and polished.
New seats, new tyres. I couldn't wait to show it to her.
This is our house. 24 Maple Drive.
Annie was just in grammar school when we bought it.
A few years later, we got a surprise package-- our son Matt.
I love this house. I love that I taught my kids...
to ride their bikes in the driveway.
I love that I slept with them in tents in the backyard.
I love that we carved our initials in the tree out front.
This house is warm in the winter, cool in the summer...
and looks spectacular with Christmas lights.
It's a great house, and I never want to move.
But the think I think I like best about this house...
are the voices I hear when I walk through the door.
- Hey. Hi. You got out early. - Hi.
- Where is she? - Oh, she's, uh, unpacking.
She looks-- She looks so fabulous, just fabulous. Different.
- Anyway, she can't wait to see you. - Different.
- Ciao, Papa. - Hey.
Annie brought me this candy bar all the way from Rome.
Let's not get it on our American furniture.
Matty. The high tops.
- Hey, grazie. - Hey, you're welcome.
- What do you mean, different? - Oh.
- Annie. - Hi, Dad.
Hey, hey, hey!
- God, I missed you. - You look all lit up inside.
Oh, I feel all lit up inside.
- Maybe we should go to Rome for a few months, honey. - Oh, you two would love it.
It's the most romantic place on Earth.
- You smell pretty good too. - Oh, you like it? It was a present.
Doesn't she look incredible? I almost didn't recognize her.
Come on. Dinner's on the stove. Honey, you wanna come?
Oh, Mom, I had this pasta in Florence. I forget what it's called.
All right. Now that we're all back under one roof...
we have some very important items to discuss.
First on the list: Who wants to go to the Laker game on Thursday?
- Oh. - Me. Definitely yes.
Okay, and with your busy schedule too.
Honey, I can't. I have inventory to do that night.
- Aw. - Uh, Thursday, sure. Absolutely.
- Okay. - Matty, could you use your fork?
Number two: Paul Simon is coming to the Forum...
and I think I can get us great seats.
- Um, yeah, sure. - All right. Paul Simon's an "um, yeah, sure..."
which I believe translates to a yes?
- All right. I'll call that guy. - Um, honey?
Could you please get that bottle of wine in the fridge for me?
- Sure. - Dad, wait. Um, I don't know.
- You don't want to see Paul Simon? - No, I-I do. It's just, um--
- Well, what is it? - Well--
- Honey, is something going on? - Yes.
Yeah, it is, Mom. Uh-- God, this is a hard thing to tell parents.
Especially when they're my parents. Oh, God.
Honey, just say it. What's the big deal?
- Yeah. - Okay.
I met somebody in Rome. Um, he's an American.
Uh, he's from L.A., actually, and, um, his name's Bryan MacKenzie.
And he's this completely wonderful...
wonderful, amazing man, and--
Well, we, we started seeing each other...
a lot, and, um...
we fell in love.
It actually happened. And, uh...
we've decided to get married which means that I'm engaged!
I'm engaged! I'm getting married!
- Congratulations. - Thank you.
Well, my, my.
Oh, so-- Oh, my. And that's your engagement ring, huh?
Yes, yes! We got it at a flea market outside of Rome.
The guy we bought it from said it was at least 100 years old.
- Wow. - So, Dad. Stop it. Say something.
I-I'm sorry. What did you say?
Dad, I met a man in Rome, and he's wonderful...
and brilliant, and we're getting married.
- Mom, what's he doing? - George.
George, what is it?
Well. This is-- This--
This is ridiculous.
- What? - You're-- You're-- You're too young to get married.
Too young? Dad, I'm 22. If I'm not mistaken...
that's, that's a year older than Mom was when you guys got married.
- That is absolutely not true. - Oh, no, you-- Ha!
You're absolutely wrong.
- You were this age when I married you? - No! I was younger.
I was this age when she was born.
That-- That-- That doesn't matter. Times have changed.
You mother was mature, and, uh, 22 isn't what it used to--
Matty, would you turn on the air conditioner? It's hot in here.
I thought-- I thought you didn't believe in marriage.
I thought that it meant that a woman lost her identity.
I-I thought you wanted to get a job before you settled down...
so you could earn money and be your own person.
All right. Hold on.
I didn't think I believed in marriage until I met Bryan.
And Bryan's not like any other guy I've ever known.
I want to be married to him.
And I'm not gonna lose my identity with him...
because he's not some overpowering, macho guy.
I mean, he's like you, Dad, except he's brilliant.
He happens to love the fact that I want to be an architect.
He wants me to design a house for us to live in.
He said he'd move anywhere I got a job.
Give me a little credit, George.
I'm not gonna marry some ape who wants me to wear...
go-go boots and an apron.
I'm telling you you'll love him. He's a genius.
And sweet.
And I-- I love him more than anything in the world.
- What does Bryan do? - Who's Bryan?
- I forgot his name! - He's an independent communications consultant.
- Independent? - Yes.
Yeah. That's code for "unemployed." This is perfect. You meet an unemployed...
amazingly brilliant non-ape that I'm going to have to support.
I suppose I'm going to have to hire him and fire some hard-working guy...
with three kids because my son-in-law--
the, the independent communications consultant--
can't get a job anywhere else.
No wonder he'll move anywhere you get a job.
You're not getting married, and that's it, and that's final.
And I don't like you calling me George. I mean, when did this start?
Daddy, what is wrong with you?
What? You're telling me you're happy about this ?
George, please, will you stop acting like a lunatic father...
and go out and talk to her before she runs out that door...
marries this kid and we never see her again?
All right.
"Kid." How do you know he's a kid? He could be 45 years old.
An independent communications consultant...
does not mean he's an unemployable non-ape.
Bryan happens to be a computer genius.
Companies send him all over the world hooking up these complex systems.
Major banks and corporations send him to, to Tokyo...
and Brazil and Geneva.
I mean, he's-- He's a genius.
You mentioned that. How old is this genius?
Twenty-six, not forty-five.
You guys still think I can't hear you when you're one room away.
If you love him so much, I know I'll love him too.
- Bryan? - Mackenzie.
Bryan MacKenzie.
- Yeah. - I can't wait to meet him.
Good, 'cause he'll be here in an hour to meet you.
I suppose you're not in the mood for a little one-on-one?
- Daddy, I'm wearing heels. - Come to the right place.
I've got sunshine
On a cloudy day
When it's cold outside
I've got the month of May
-He's got it behind the back. The crowd is going wild. The crowd is going wild. -I guess
- It's-- It's-- - You say
What can make me feel this way
My girl, my girl my girl
- Talking about my girl - Hey!
My girl, ooh-ooh
Hey, hey, hey
- Hey, hey, hey - Yes.
- Dad! - Yes!
Oh, traveling!
I don't need no money
Fortune or fame
I got all the riches, baby
- This is it. Eight up. - One man can claim.
- Go. - Ready?
Well, I guess
- You'll say - Hold on. - No!
- What can make me feel this way - Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. No, no, no, no. No!
My girl, my girl my girl
- Talking about my girl - Yes!
My girl Talking about my girl
- I've got sunshine on a cloudy day - All right.
With my girl
I've even got the month of May
You're not really getting married, are you?
Dad, stop!
- So can you see him? What does he look like? - He just drove up.
And?
He drove too fast.
Well, wait. So, George, you want to meet him?
Do I want to meet him?
- Oh, hello. Hi. - Hello, I'm Brian MacKenzie.
Good. I'm Nina Banks.
Yes. Yes, I recognize you from your picture.
- Yes, come in, please. - The one Annie had with her in Rome.
- Yes. Oh, good. Come in. - Okay. Hello, Mr Banks.
It was the first time I ever hated the sound of my own name.
- Hi. - I've heard so much about you.
It's great to finally meet you, sir.
"Sir." Two words now crossed my mind:
"brown" and "nose."
Annie talks about you so much, I feel like I already know you.
- Bryan. - Oh, Annie.
- So this is him. - Oh, he's just-- Uh, just.
A little nervous. Just like one of those situations you read about...
you know, meeting the in-laws.
But you two seem great. I'm sure I have nothing to be nervous about.
But, uh, still, I--
Let's, let's, uh, uh, go into the, uh, uh, the, uh--
The-- uh-- Great.
- I think he's adorable. - I don't like him.
- Oh, George, for God-- - He's wearing Nikes.
- Mom, where's Matty? - Oh, he fell asleep watching TV.
- Oh, well, you'll meet him tomorrow. - Okay.
- Sit down. - So.
Um, how did you two, uh, meet?
Oh. We were the only two people at this revival house in Rome...
for a midnight showing of Bringing Up Baby.
- We kept hearing each other laugh. - And at all the same places.
Yeah. When it was over, I picked him up.
Oh, no, no, no. I went over to you to ask directions...
and then one thing led to another and--
And that was it. For the next three months...
we never left each other's sight.
We went to all these museums, all these great concerts, the opera.
We traveled to the country. Remember that place we stayed in Tuscany?
Oh, with the, uh--
- Uh, suffice it to say, it was not a four-star hotel. - No.
You have a very brave daughter.
Bryan, um, what is it exactly that you do?
Annie was saying something about computers.
Uh, yes, uh, I'm an independent communications consultant.
Yeah, yeah, that part I heard.
Sounds fake, right? Like it's not a real job?
- No, we wouldn't say that. No. - That's what my dad said...
when he first heard what I was doing.
But, um, what it is, uh, in this case:
Uh, Pacific International Bank sent me to Rome to hook up...
the X-Dot connection to their European subsidiary.
Um-- Uh, all European computers, uh, communicate on the Dot 25 network.
And, uh, since Pacific International is an L.A.-based firm...
they wanted to interface with standard European protocol, so I set 'em up.
And, uh, why are you, uh, independent? What was that?
Because no one can afford to keep him on staff.
Well, I guess that's true, basically, but, uh--
You know, driving down here, I tried to put myself in your place.
Your daughter comes home after spending four months in Rome...
a-and I'm sure you couldn't wait to see her, and she shocks you...
with the news that she's getting married.
And to somebody you've never met before.
I'm sure that must've been pretty...
um, heavy...
to use a word from your generation.
I just wanna say that I'm an upstanding citizen.
I've-I've never been engaged before.
I've, uh, never really been in love before.
And, uh, I think Annie's the greatest person I've ever met.
And I can't wait to marry her and...
one day have children and grandchildren.
And I'm gonna do my best to be supportive of her dreams. And she's a very gifted architect.
Um-- I'm just thrilled that I met her.
I love your daughter.
And the feelings that I have for her are never gonna change.
And I'm here to stay.
- Oh, honey. - Mom.
I'm so happy for you.
That's okay, Mr Banks, We don't have to hug.
- Well, uh, maybe later. - I know.
Well, that was just, um-- That was just the best thing I've ever heard anybody say.
- Oh. Good. - Well, I meant it.
Listen, I want to take Bryan out for a drive, show him around San Marino.
- Okay, honey. Good. - Annie, it's a little nippy out.
- You might want to put on a sweater. - Oh, Dad, it's okay. I'm kinda warm.
Still, there's a chill in the air, and you've been on a plane.
- Dad, I'm fine. - Annie, it is kinda cold out.
- It is? - Yeah.
- All right, thanks. I'll get my jacket. - All right.
Right then, I realized my day had passed.
She'll always love me, of course, but not in the same way.
I was no longer the man in my little girl's life.
I was like an old shoe, the kind we manufacture...
and get all excited about and then after a few years discontinue.
That was me now: Mr Discontinued.
Mom? Don't wait up, okay? We might stop for a cappuccino.
Oh, okay, fine. Well, good night, Bryan.
Good night. Um, good night, Mr Banks.
Oh, you can call him George, or Dad.
- George will be fine. - Okay. Uh--
I'll say it next time I see you.
Drive carefully, and don't forget to fasten your condom.
- Dad! - Seat belt!
I meant-- I meant seat belt.
Um, I'm putting your father to bed. This has been a very big night for him.
- Bye. - Okay. - Well, good night.
- Have fun. - Bye. - Good night.
- Bye. - Bye-bye. Have fun. - Bye.
This is a great kid.
- It'll never last. - Wanna bet?
Nina, Annie's much too spirited for this kid.
He's totally wrong for her. I give it two months, tops. One month.
This is the right guy for Annie, George. I'm telling you, I feel it in my bones.
- I mean, we're two lucky parents. We are. - Lucky? Oh!
What about his laugh? It was such a giveaway. It was so phoney with his--
- I thought it was totally sincere. - Oh, please.
What about that little rehearsed speech he gave? It was right out of a book.
How To Grease Your Future Mother-In-Law.
You're off here, George, really. I thought it was completely from his heart.
- Why do you think I cried? - Good question.
I don't know why either of you cried. I'm losing my voice.
- Are my glands swollen or something? - Let me see. No. No, honey, no.
And what about the way he kept touching her?
- What do you mean? - What do you mean what do I mean?
- He could-- He couldn't keep his hands off her. - Oh, yes. Kind of like...
when we were engaged, except that wasn't all you couldn't keep off me.
That was different. And we certainly never acted that way in your parents' house.
Ah! You want me to name all the rooms we did it in at my parents' house?
That was different. We were like two imbeciles.
- This is our child we're talking about. - Our child? Oh, George.
You know, I still think you see Annie as a seven-year-old in pigtails.
Well, you know, that just shows how much you know about me...
because that is not at all how I see her.
Right, a seven-year-old with pigtails.
I mean, here's the thing: We have no idea who this Bryan really is.
- Oh. Uh-huh. - I mean, if that's his real name. I mean, who knows?
You know, maybe he already has a wife. You read about these cases every day--
you know, men who have wives and families stashed all across the country.
I mean, he could be a professional con artist who meets innocents abroad...
and gives them this song and dance about being an independent whatever that was.
And then skips out after bilking them for all they're worth.
- Wh-What are you doing? - I'm getting ready for bed.
You know, then I suppose you're not interested that I believe I remember seeing someone...
who looked like Bryan's twin on America's Most Wanted.
You're right. I'm not.
George.
George, I-I thought he was great.
I liked him a lot. And I'm really ha-- Ann--
George, will you please stop making that face? I'm very happy for Annie.
I'm excited for her. This is a big deal.
I think that we should at least hug.
This is great news.
Oh, a wedding.
Father of the bride. Can you believe it?
Forty-eight hours later, the wedding was still on...
and we were on our way to Bel-Air to meet Bryan's folks.
I don't know why we have to have brunch with total strangers.
Because their son is marrying our daughter and it's not an unusual custom meeting the in-laws.
You know, that's another thing. I hate that expression: in-laws.
What does it mean anyway? We're legally bound to these people?
I don't wanna be "in-lawed," especially to people who live in Bel-Air.
I mean, what kind of people have brunch and live in Bel-Air?
Rich people.
They probably live in the one shack in the middle of all these mansions.
- Nice mood, George. - What? I'm in a good mood.
Okay, I think this is it. Yeah.
- Nice shack, babe. - Worse. It's the biggest house on the street.
Now we're related to pretentious snobs. Just what we need.
You look very handsome, George, way too young to be in-lawed.
Well, it really shouldn't matter how I look. We're not here to win their approval.
Just because you changed your outfit five times.
Oh, and you didn't try on nine different shirts?
- Two. - Two.
Two long-sleeve, two short-sleeve.
- Hi! - George, Nina, welcome.
- Hi, nice to meet you. - I'm John.
- How do you do? - Hi, I'm Joanna.
- Welcome. Come in, please. - Welcome to our house. Come on in.
- Come in. - Thank you so much. Well.
All I could think about was the size of this place.
We could've parked our whole house in the foyer.
Ah, what a nerve-racking thing, meeting your future in-laws.
- Yeah. - What a relief. You two look perfectly normal.
Oh, well, I am.
I have to tell you, we got so nervous about today...
about meeting the two of you, I-I must've tried on three different outfits.
- Oh. - I changed my shirt four times.
- Can you imagine anyone being that jerky? - Oh, I know.
So, come on in. I thought we'd have lunch in here.
- Oh, what a great room. - Marta. - Thank you, Marta.
Marta, estos son nuestros in-laws, George and Nina Banks.
- Hello. - How do you do? Hi.
Oh, and here's the rest of our family.
Oh, don't worry. They look like killers, but they're actually quite friendly.
As long as you're relaxed, why, they're relaxed.
Hi, puppy, puppy, puppy. Why, you're--
All right, fellas, that's enough. Go on. Release! Good boys.
- Well, why don't we all sit down. - Please.
- Oh, thank you. - All right. Here we go.
- George. Honey. - Thank you, sweetheart.
I don't know if the kids told you, but we were over in Europe on business...
and we stopped in Rome to see Bryan.
So we got to spend a few days with Annie. Oh, boy!
- We just fell in love with her immediately. - Isn't she great?
Yes. We just couldn't be happier about this.
How did you, uh, take the news, George?
Me?
Uh, truthfully, uh, I was a little surprised.
- I was shocked. - So was I.
After all, they'd only known each other a few months.
Exactly. And Annie's just finishing up school.
Absolutely. Oh, believe me, I tossed and turned over this one...
but the bottom line is they're in love.
They're over 21, and whether they're rushing into this or not...
may be not for us to say.
Right. "Not for us to say." We're only their parents.
I was about to say these very words out loud when he hit me with--
Yeah, sooner or later, you just have to let your kids go...
and hope you brought 'em up right.
George. Nina. Darling.
This guy was making a little too much sense for me.
Suddenly my shirt collar felt like it was starting to strangle me.
To George and Nina...
and a future of wonderful memories.
First, the wedding of our children...
and the happiness we'll share watching their lives.
Then sharing the joy of our grandchildren together.
Birthday parties, graduation--
Now I knew where they got the expression "like father, like son."
- I also knew I needed some air. - Can you tell me where the restroom is?
Oh, actually, the one down here is a mess. We're remodeling.
Uh, why don't you try the one at the top of the stairs? It's the seventh door on the left.
- Second? - Seventh.
- Seventh.
I'm leaving. I'm relaxed, and I'm leaving.
Relent.
Re-- Recoil.
Reverse.
- Well, I hope George hasn't gotten lost up there. - Oh, no, he's gonna be fine.
Okay.
Well, um-- Such a lovely sculpture.
Oh. Doesn't it have a wonderful sense of motion?
We got it in Denmark. All the-- Quite a lot of my family's from Copenhagen.
- Is that right? - Oh, yeah. Doesn't it have a wonderful sense of balance?
- Oh, it's amazing. - I was going to put it in the garden.
Well, actually, uh, uh, Bryan spent quite a few summers in Denmark.
Uh, he now speaks better Danish than, than Joanna.
N-- Is that a fact?
And we're planning a trip back this summer.
I think this is a very beautiful spread here.
- Oh, thank you. - Well, shall-- should we wait for George?
- Maybe I should, uh, check on George. - No.
- Release! - Oh, man.
Wow. No kidding? Really? It went great?
Uh, better than great. I mean, it, just, just couldn't have gone better.
God, I'm so relieved.
I mean, who knows what can happen at these things, you know?
- This is great. - Now I feel like the wedding's officially on.
Um, Dad, that looks so good. This looks great.
Um, Bryan's mom called with the names of her immediate family.
- Is this a joke? - Not only is it not a joke...
but eight of them are from Copenhagen and well...
it's the bride's family's responsibility to--
Do you have any idea what a round-trip ticket from Denmark costs?
Try eight round-trip tickets.
Well, actually, it's nine.
You see, Joanna's, uh, cousin Gitte...
is apparently a rather large woman so she needs two seats.
She can lop over into the aisle for all I care 'cause there's no way I'm pay--
Hi, everyone. Sorry I'm late.
- Hi. - That's okay. - How're you doing? Hi.
- Hello. - Hey, dude. - Hi.
- Oh. Here you are. - Oh. Well, thank you.
- It's "you're welcome" in Danish. - Ah, thanks.
This looks great. I hear you're a whiz at the barbecue, Dad.
Well. So have you two given any thought to what kind of wedding you want?
- Well, we've talked about it. - Yes, and what do you think?
Big? Small? Or--
Well, it can't be too big. We don't have that many friends.
So we're talking in the small vicinity, then?
Well, no, she didn't say "small." She said not too big.
Yeah, but nothing fancy or overblown, right?
- Right. - Right.
So kind of the "less is more" theory, huh, Annie?
- Basically. - The reason I'm asking all these questions is I have a great idea...
where we can have this lovely, not small but not too big wedding.
You do? Where?
At our favorite restaurant, the place we've been eating at for 15 years.
The best. The Steak Pit.
- Dad, get serious. - I don't think you want the word "pit"...
on a wedding invitation, George.
Really, Dad, a rib joint with sawdust on the floor...
isn't exactly what I had in mind for my wedding.
- No offence. - Well, excuse me.
What did you have in mind, the Beverly Hills Hotel?
No. Actually, what I'd like is to have...
my wedding in a church and have the reception here.
- Oh. - That's what I was hoping for.
Here?
Don't I have the greatest Dad in the world?
- Hi. - Hi. - Hi.
- Can we have some burgers? - Okay, here's the bride burger and your groom burger.
And, uh, enjoy 'em. Now, go on over there and see the jugglers.
My dream wedding, a barbecue wedding.
- This is a better idea than the Steak Pit. - Yeah.
We'll get some, uh, picnic tables and, uh, crepe paper and balloons.
You know, invite all our best pals. I'll make my famous guacamole.
A wedding at home. This is a great idea.
Great idea. Picnic tables, crepe paper, balloons, you at the barbecue.
- Oh, George. - What don't you like about that?
Why have you been acting so crazy since the moment Annie told you she was getting married?
You know, I haven't been acting crazy. I've simply acted...
Like any normal, red-blooded American dad.
Normal? Uh-huh. Okay. Falling in the MacKenzie's pool.
Suggesting the Steak Pit as a wedding reception.
Oh, watching America's Most Wanted every night, looking for Bryan's face.
And now this picnic scenario. George, a wedding is a big deal!
Everybody seems to understand this but you. And as a matter of fact--
N-Now don't go nuts when I tell you this, but when Bryan's mom...
called with her list, she suggested that they might just wanna...
pitch in and help with the cost of the wedding.
You know, hey, we may not have a house the size of Rhode Island, but we're not poverty-stricken.
We can certainly afford to give our daughter a proper wedding.
Proper. Not you in a chef's hat, right, George?
- Who said anything about a chef's hat? When did this come up? - Yes, but I know you.
I'm close. Oh, look.
I just really saw this whole thing differently.
Like, I wanted to call a wedding coordinator to make the whole thing...
really, really beautiful, and you want to call Gabe at the Steak Pit.
Wait a minute. Wedding coordinator? What's a wedding coordinator?
- A person who coordinates weddings. - What's to coordinate?
Well, there's the invitations and the flowers, the food, the band, the photographer.
George, why are you giving me that look again? A lot of people hire wedding coordinators.
Nina, you and I run successful businesses. We can certainly pull together one smallish wedding.
- Yeah, okay. - We don't need some fancy wedding coordinator.
Okay, George, then let's just forget it, okay? Because, you know, I just really can't take this.
- I'm not used to all this arguing, so just, uh-- - Fine. I don't want to argue.
Just-- Do me a favor, okay, George? Just go on upstairs and I'll...
- finish up down here. - Fine. Fine. I'll go upstairs.
However, I would like to remind you what happened to what's-his-name down the street.
His daughter got married and the thing practically broke him. Remember?
- I remember. - You and I could end up...
shuffling along the sidewalk in our bathrobes.
- That was a joke. - Hilarious.
Oh, all right. I'll go. I'll meet the wedding coordinator.
You know I don't want to, but I'll go...
if you still want me to go, all right?
- Okay? - Okay.
Now, let me do the talking, girls, okay?
Well, I negotiate better than you.
- Now what's this guy's name? - Franck.
- Frank. - Franck.
- Franck? - Franck.
- Franck. Franck. Franck. - Oh, this is it.
Okay, here we go.
- Ah, Mom. - No. No. This is just--
- Oh, my, Annie. - This is amazing.
- Look. Look at this trim. - What?
- Oh! - Isn't this beautiful? Pearls.
- Oh! - Oh, gee.
-Oh, wow. I love how they did this, Mom. -Annie.
- Yeah? - Do you like this place setting?
- Oh, it's beautiful. - That china also comes...
in a wonderful Sara Lee yellow.
- Hi. You must be Franck? - I wish.
I'm Franck's assistant, Howard Weinstein.
-Well, I'm Nina Banks and this is Annie. -Hello.
- Hi. Hi. - Oh. - The bride, and, uh...
- George, my husband. - How do you do?
May I offer anyone any refreshments: Pellegrino, espresso, champagne?
- Oh. Um, no. No. - No.
I'll alert the boss that you're here. Look around. Have fun.
Oh. Oh. This is so great.
- Annie. - Yeah?
- Oh! Wouldn't this be perfect for you? - Oh, it's gorgeous!
Look how it goes with the crystal. Oh, perfect.
Moster and Missus Banks and de luffly bride. Hello.
Hello.
I am Franck. A pleasure to mat you.
Howard's has affer you sumding to drink, I hop.
- Oh, yes. - Yes. - Oh, the bride, the bride.
Right away, I realized this was a mistake of gargantuan proportions.
This guy was going to coordinate our wedding? How? With subtitles?
Nu!
Okay, please come wit me and we'll talk all about yer big day!
-Okay. -The big day for de bride. Papala, coom.
Oh, see down on my own design.
I design that. Very nice, I think.
Now, so, you have not made up your list yet...
but you know that you want de wedding at hom on Jawn-wary six, rit?
- Uh-huh. Yeah. - Excuse me?
Yes, we would. We would like a wedding at home on January the sixth.
Mmm, I luff the weddings at the homs.
They're vary personable, very varm 'n' cuzy, vary fabulous.
Oh, so, Jawn-wary six gif us seven munths.
Uh-oh! Hello! That's five munths!
Five munths not much!
But that don't bother me so much because it's a little bit tight...
but we can do it and it will be spak-takuler!
I saw you wurry a second. Don't wurry about dat.
So now, les see.
This is what I sugjoost. I sugjoost that we select a keck furst.
- Okay. - You know, cuz de keck...
vary often determun vhat kind of wedding that you end up having.
So les just choose de keck, okay?
Okay.
- Choose-- Choose-- Choose the what ? - The cake, Dad.
Thank you, der assistant. Dis ees fun!
So dis ees a vary popular keck...
with the many of the foshinable woddings, you know.
And this, I jus don't do any more.
And this is fabulliz.
Oh! Oh! That is incredible!
Annie, that's just like the one we saw in the magazine.
Do you like it, Dad?
Well, what is that? Is that-- Is that dollars? $1,200?
Vel, Moster Bonks, dis ees a vary raisonable price...
for a keck of dis magnootud.
A cake, Franck, is made of flour and water.
- My first car didn't cost $1,200 - George.
Well, welcome to the '90s, Moster Bonks.
Not only did I not understand a syllable this guy was saying...
now I had the feeling he was putting me down.
Excuse me, um, Franck.
- Could we please have a second? - Oh, of course!
Take two seconds. Howard, letz return calls. Could we--
All right, George, what's the problem? Do you want to leave?
- Do you? - No. I like him.
I think he's going to make this a beautiful wedding.
Don't look at me. You guys decide.
Give the man a chance, George, please. Annie, do you like this cake?
It is incredible, Dad.
- Well, all right. But, look, let's just-- - I know.
We-- We're going to, George. We're gonna hold things down.
- We just-- We won't go nuts. - No. No. - Thank you.
- Franck! - Coming!
- We'll take the cake. - Oh, good, good.
Don't worry, Moster Bonks. I'm gonna bring de crew over to the house.
We gif everything that we haf in the once-over department...
and then in the end you be vary, vary happy, trust me.
- You just smile away. Now, interesting idea. - Yes.
Wit regard to thame and kolor of de wedding, dis is how I see it:
I think we go vary elegant, inside de tent, you know--
With one swift move, I'd been cut out of the deal.
Annie, Nina and Franck were in charge now.
...and bootiful china--
Now, spo! And crystal to drop over dead for!
Old Dad was history.
- ...new machine to work now. - A few days later, I was at work...
relieved for once not to be talking about the wedding.
- I wore those 750-trainers over the weekend. - They still stiff?
- I think they need a soft-- - Just back from the Orient, ladies, and I got a new shipment.
Beautiful merchandise. Gucci, Cartier, Louis Vuitton.
- I never heard of Louis Vuitton. - I don't know.
He's big, darling, believe me, or they wouldn't be knocking 'em off.
Don't worry, Mr Banks, they're on a break.
- That's okay. - George, Franck's office, line two.
Uh, maybe I could see those mockups by Friday, then, Dave? Thanks.
This was the call I'd been dreading since the moment I heard...
the words, "wedding coordinator."
- Hello. - Mr Banks, this is Howard Weinstein...
Franck's executive assistant.
I have-- estimate for you.
- I can barely hear you! - I'm in my car...
going through ...water Canyon.
- Call you back? - No, no, no! I-I want the estimate.
How much? What's the damage?
For everything from the flowers to the honeymoon limo--
Okay, everything. How much?
--dred --ifty head.
You're breaking up. It sounded like you said 150 a head.
No! No!
- Good. I was about to kill myself. - It's 250 a head.
- Get me Nina at work. - She just called.
- I need the final head count. - She just gave it to me.
What is it? One-fifty?
572.
$250 a head means for the four of us to attend this wedding in our own home...
will cost $1,000.
Therefore, we are not getting up from this table...
until we cut this list down to the bare minimum.
Now, invite as many people as you want to the church, pack 'em in...
build a grandstand if you want, but we are not having...
more than 150 people in this house on the day of the wedding.
-All right. Now let's start eliminating. -Okay, Jim Pepper and wife.
- Oh, great. Start with one of my guys. - Fine. We'll start with one of mine. I'll cut Steve and Stephanie Turrill.
- They're very good clients of mine. They're-- - Say no more. They're history.
- All right. Jim Pepper and wife. - I've known the guy for 20 years.
You haven't seen him in 15, George.
All right. I'll say I lost his address.
Now here's somebody-- your cousin Betsy, the poet/waitress/picture framer.
We can't cut family. They know about the wedding.
I only invited one person: Cameron. Mom said I could have a friend there.
For 250 bucks, you can see Cameron after the wedding.
All right. Very good. Five down. We're rolling.
All right. What about Harry Kirby? We haven't seen him in ages.
- I don't know. - Didn't Harry Kirby die last year?
Yes! Good!
Oh, uh, sorry.
- Who's Franck Eggelhoffer? - What?
He's coordinating the wedding, and then we're not going to invite him?
Exactly! Do you think I'm gonna pay a guy 15%%%...
plus an hourly, plus an additional $500 to feed him and that assistant of his?
- Have you lost your mind? - Can I put Cameron back on the list if he promises not to eat?
You know, that's not a bad idea. Who else can we ask not to eat?
My parents, your mother.
Why don't we just charge people? That way we can make money on the wedding.
Annie. A--
I was kidding.
"How to give a beautiful wedding on a small budget.
"Bake your own wedding cake.
"Find a good tailor and copy a designer dress.
Have a friend take the pictures."
From that moment on, I decided to shut my mouth and go with the flow.
My first move was to get the old tuxedo out of mothballs.
Hey! Looking good, my man.
Get down! Hey!
What's new, pussycat Whoa, whoa, whoa, oh
What's new, pussycat Whoa, whoa, whoa
- Whoa, whoa - George!
- Hey - Annie, he's up here.
Pussycat, pussycat I love you
'Deed I do
Yes, I do
Hey, what do you think? Bought it in '75 and it still fits.
- Like a glove. - Yes. It's just, it's a real way to go.
Um, maybe--
Maybe you could get a new tux. Uh, we're all wearing new clothes, and--
What? Don't you think I look cute? I mean, there will be a lot of single gals there.
- I'll get it. - Oh, oh.
Oh, by the way. Good news. The church is free.
- Oh, finally something is free. - I meant available.
Oh, I like that. It's very good.
Adorable.
Oh, they've done the shutters. It's like kind of an I Remember Mama touch.
Oh, it's very nice. We change it all though. Let's go.
Franck and his crew had arrived to finalize all the details of the wedding.
First was an audition for a band singer.
Volare Oh, oh
Cantare Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
No wonder Annie's happy heart sings
Bryan's love has given her wings Hey!
Like birds of a feather A rainbow together--
Just as I was about to say, "Don't call us, we'll call you," I heard...
Howard, we'll huf to move out all de furniture to huf any sort of room to--
Oh. Dis is a nice statement.
It's lots of fun. Mrs Bonks, one kvestion--
Howard, uh, Franck was saying something about moving out the furniture.
We have to move it all out if we're going to fit more than 200 bodies in here.
- But what if someone wants to sit down? - We bring in chairs.
Well, if you're bringing in chairs, then why are you moving the furniture out?
Mr Bonks, I do dis for a loving, you know? Trust me.
A movink van must tek everything out.
It's an extra expense. Oh, sure. Yah, yah.
Bot we need it. Annie!
Mrs Bonks. Come this way, please. So, vhat do you think of the zinger?
- We do have other choizes. - I'd like to see 'em.
Good. That'll be no problem.
My caterer, everyone, and my best friend in the whole world, Hanck Kucinetzki.
Hi.
- Hi. - Hi.
If I cud have a mewmunt of yer time to discuss de monyo.
- "De monyo." "De monyo." Remind me? The menu! Yes. - No, the menu.
Onfortulley, Hanck doesn't spake Anglish, so I will translit.
Franck, that'll-- that'll be a big help.
Dis is vhat Hanck sugjoost. Fer the men kers, he vants to serf voll.
Oh, really? I have a problem with that.
- With what? - With veal. I keep reading...
there's a lot of inhumane treatment in the way they treat the calves.
I read that too. You're very chic. No voll.
So that leafs seafoot, which is also chic.
Or fowl, which is not chic but chip.
Cheap. Finally a word I understood. My first and last piece of good news.
- Mrs Banks? - Yes?
One last thing.
- What is he doing? - We need more amps to light the house and the tent.
- It's cheaper than bringing in a new line. - In terms of the florals out front...
we're gonna color coordinate with the swans, right?
- Swans? - I think it'd be wonderful. - Perfect.
- We're having swans? - Franck thought it would be great...
to have swans waddling around the tulip border, you know, as the guests enter.
- It would be really sweet. - Nina, we don't have a tulip border. - You will.
How much is--
Mr Bonks, ve huff problus.
Hanck does not vant no vay to prepare chuckun.
- He doesn't what? - Franck, does the tent connect through here?
I've been meaning to fix that. You have to push, then pull.
Oh.
Oh, now les not panic about anything. Les see.
Oh. Oh, that-- Eww. That's only a sem. We cun fix that.
Now, Mr Bonks, please, about the seafoot.
Hanck vants to know if it's hokay or not hokay.
No, Franck. Tell Hanck it's not okay.
If I have to move out all the furniture and add amps...
and repaint the walls and get a new tux and pay for swans...
then I'd like the "chipper" chicken.
- Is that clear? - I understood the "chipper" part. Yeah.
Hokay. Dat's it. Hanck says he will think about dis.
Now, we do not vant to louse him.
He is a ganius, and ve need his mand. Hokay? So.
I'll see vhat I can do. Hanck? Hanck!
I'm fine.
Anyway, where were we? Oh.
- Yes. - I see you're starting to lose it.
But I have one more question. Very minor. I'll say it quickly.
Parking attendants. Four is comfortable. Three is acceptable. Anything less...
- absolutely terrifies me. - Two.
- George-- - Two.
Hanck says if you vant the fowl, he vasn't interested. He passes.
He-- He passes? Is he gonna do our cake?
Hey, Dad. How's it going?
Hi. I came to get my sneakers. I left them in Annie's room last night.
I was beginning to feel like I was having an out-of-body experience.
I had to get out of the house and fast.
Nina said as long as I was escaping, would I mind...
escaping to the market and picking up something for dinner?
Sure. That was all I needed. A busy supermarket.
I needed to drive, mellow out, get my mind off the wedding.
But mellowing out was not in the cards.
Here we go. Here we go. Yeah.
- Excuse me, sir. What are you doing? - I'll tell you what I'm doing.
I want to buy eight hot dogs and eight hot dog buns to go with them.
But no one sells eight hot dog buns. They only sell twelve hot dog buns.
So I end up paying for four buns I don't need.
So I am removing the superfluous buns.
I-I'm sorry, sir, but you're gonna have to pay for all twelve buns.
- They're not marked individually. - Yeah.
And you wanna know why? Because some big shot over at the wiener company...
got together with some big shot over at the bun company...
and decided to rip off the American public.
Because they think the American public is a bunch of trusting nitwits...
- who'll pay for things they don't need rather than make a stink. - Get me security.
Well, they're not ripping off this nitwit anymore...
because I'm not paying for one more thing I don't need.
George Banks is saying no!
Who's George Banks?
Me!
Uh, why don't we just calm down now, sir?
I'll tell you why "we" don't calm down. Because you're not excited.
It takes two people for a "we" to calm down, doesn't it?
Uh, that I don't know, sir. I'm just the assistant manager of a supermarket.
But I'll tell you this. If you don't pipe down and pay for those buns...
- I'm gonna call the police. - Oh, right!
Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. Right.
- That's right. - Hey.
- Right. - Hey! Hey, come here!
- Uh-uh! Uh-uh! - Come here!
Uh-uh! Uh-uh!
That was the low point. Flipping out over four hot dog buns.
I couldn't figure out why I'd gotten so nuts...
why the wedding had me so unglued.
Banks, your wife is here.
- Aren't you going to let me out? - She wants to talk to you first.
- She wants to talk to me first? - Thank you.
Hello, George.
Why do you look happy to see me in here, Nina?
Happy? No, no, no. I'm not happy, George.
You think I was happy to tell everyone that I had to come...
down to the city jail and bail you out for stealing hot dog buns?
- I wasn't stealing them-- - Ah!
- I was having a little-- - Ah!
I'm going to have to ask you not to talk or I'll have to call...
Officer What's-his-name over there.
You've been more than I can handle, George.
Annie's wedding is not a conspiracy against you.
It's just a wedding. People have them every day in every country in the world.
I know it's going to be expensive, but we don't go to Europe.
We don't own fancy cars. I don't own expensive jewelry.
So we can afford to have a big wedding.
Nina.
I'll get you out of here on one condition, Banks.
That you agree to the following. Now, repeat after me.
I, George Stanley Banks...
promise to pull it together and act my age. Promise.
promise to pull it together and act my age.
I will stop hyper ventilating, rolling my eyes, unbuttoning my top collar button.
- I don't unbutton my top collar-- - Oh yeah. No. You mean this bit, with--
- Stop hyper ventilating... - Hyper ventilating.
- rolling my eyes, and, uh... - Unbuttoning.
unbuttoning my top collar button.
I will stop making faces in general, and I will definitely stop...
telling everybody I meet how much this wedding is costing.
I don't tell everyone how much it costs!
- He told you, right? - 250 a head.
Oh, well, thanks!
I will try to remember my daughter's feelings.
And how with every roll of my eyes, I am taking away a piece of her happiness.
I love you, Nina.
Just repeat the last part for me, George.
I will try to remember my daughter's feelings...
- That's right. - and how with every roll of my eyes...
I am taking away a piece of her happiness.
I love you too. Let's go home, okay?
- No! - Hey, I'm gonna hold ya here!
- Yes! Sweet! - Come on, Matty. Let's go.
Plan "B," Matty. Plan "B."
Here we go! Hey!
Okay, I got ya! I got ya!
- Midget slam! - All right!
Annie! Bryan! Look, you got a present.
Our first present! I can't believe it.
Oh, our second one should be here any minute.
- Oh, wow. How do you know? - Oh, my parents are bringing it over.
- Oh! - Oh!
Oh, this is, uh, when we give the presents. Uh, great. Uh, good.
- I'll be right back. - Where's he going?
- Maybe he got a present for you. - You know about this?
Uh, I haven't got a clue.
- Look at this! - This is for us? Thank you so much!
Yikes. A whole car.
My dad's gotta see this!
Dad! Dad?
Dad, did you see what the MacKenzies got us?
It's unbelievable. And you thought you'd never have a new car.
I know! What's that?
It's nothing. It's just a gift I was thinking of giving you guys.
You know, it's something you said you didn't have but you wanted.
Can I see it?
Yeah, you know, it's--
It's not the big, big gift, of course.
It's a cappuccino maker!
Supposed to be a good one. That's what they said at the store.
It's, uh, top of the line. Makes great foam.
I couldn't love anything more.
Going to the chapel and we're
- My feelings exactly. - Gonna get married
Going to the chapel and we're
- Gonna get married - Wow!
Gee, I really love you and we're
Gonna get married
Going to the chapel of love
Spring is here
The sky is blue
Whoa, birds all sing
- As if they knew - No.
Today's the day
We'll say I do
And we'll never be lonely any more
All right, Mr Banks. Here you go.
- A 40-long. It's gorgeous even on the hanger. - Because we're going to the chapel
- Now this is an actual Giorgio Armani, the real McCoy. - And we're gonna get married
- Don't ask how I got it, but here it is. - Going to the chapel
And we're gonna get married
Gee, I really love you and we're
Gonna get married
Going to the chapel of love
Bells will ring
The sun will shine, whoa
I'll be his
- Nina, we have great friends, you know that? - And he'll be mine
I mean, these are not your run-of-the-mill salad bowls. Theses are primo gifts.
- We'll love until - As a matter of fact, I am so happy we have decided to serve...
- The end of time, and we'll never - the very chic but exponsive seafoot at our very foshionable wotting.
- Be lonely anymore - Ah! The beautiful bride! Good news!
You have received another lovely, too-good-to-be-true silver tea set.
- What's the matter? - Send it back.
- Come on. What do you mean? - Daddy, I'm not kidding!
Send them all back. The wedding's off!
Anne? Annie?
I'm sorry, Dad, but I'm not gonna marry Bryan.
Okay, okay. Whatever you want is okay with us.
I feel so awful, after everything you guys have done.
And now I have to undo it all.
Don't worry about it. These things get canceled all the time.
Your mother and I can take care of everything.
Okay.
What happened?
- Another girl? - No.
- Now look at your shirt. - Don't worry.
No, it wasn't anything like that.
It started out as nothing really. He gave me a present.
It's our eight-month anniversary today, and he--
He gave me-- Just look.
He said it was for me, for our apartment.
Just look.
It's a blender.
Yeah. Exactly.
I mean, I didn't want to act thrown or anything, but inside I was.
I mean, I thought something for the apartment. Maybe--
Maybe a new clock or a cool phone or a great art book or something.
But a blender? I mean, what is this? 1958?
Give the little wife a blender?
I mean, it scared me, you know. In terms of his expectations.
Oh, I started to freak out, and he asked me what was wrong.
And I asked him what a gift like this was supposed to be telling me.
And he said, "Nothing," and I didn't believe him.
And we got into this big fight. And he said I was overreacting.
And I said, "Why would I overreact? Nobody in my family overreacts."
And then he came up with this totally absurd story...
this completely outrageous lie, and I'm looking at him...
and I'm thinking, "This man's a liar!"
- What did he lie about? - Oh...
actually it was something about you.
Me?
He said the day that you and Mom went to go visit his folks--
It-- This is just-- This is so ridiculous.
He said that you were snooping around his-- his dad's desk.
And that you somehow found his dad's bankbook--
Oh, no, no. First he said you broke some mirror in their bathroom.
And then you found his dad's bankbook and you somehow threw it in their pool!
I mean, it's too ridiculous! The man lies!
Come in!
Annie, Bryan's downstairs.
- I don't want to see him. - He looks awful.
Good.
Excuse me.
I thought maybe I should help smooth things over.
So I took Bryan out for a drink.
Thought we could have a talk, man-to-man.
But as I sat there and listened to his side of the story...
I realized this was a golden opportunity.
If I ever wanted to get rid of Bryan MacKenzie, this was my chance.
You know those banana shakes she likes to make, right?
Well, that's why I thought she'd like a blender.
I guess I can see her point. I mean, a blender does suggest a certain...
1950s reference to sexual politics, but...
I swear, it never entered my consciousness at the time.
- I believe you. - You do?
Would you tell Annie that for me, Dad?
This was where I was gonna lower the boom.
But instead, I looked into his weepy eyes and found my self saying--
- Sure, I'll tell her. - Oh, good!
'Cause I know whatever you say she'll believe.
Not only was I not getting rid of the kid...
I now found myself talking him into staying.
You know, Bryan, Annie's a very passionate person.
And passionate people tend to overreact at time.
Annie comes from a long line of major over reactors.
Me. I can definitely lose it.
My mother. A nut.
My grandfather. Stories about him were legendary.
The good news, however, is that this overreacting...
tends to get proportionately less by generation.
So, your kids could be normal.
As if that wasn't enough, I went on.
But on the upside, with this passion...
comes great spirit and individuality...
which is probably one of the reasons you love Annie.
That's what I love most about her.
That's when it hit me like a Mack truck.
Annie was just like me, and Bryan was just like Nina.
They were a perfect match.
Dad, I can't believe you took him out. What did he say?
I mean, you don't have to tell me. What?
Honey, I just spent an hour with Bryan, and...
believe me when I tell you that...
this gift says nothing about how he feels about you.
It's just a-- just a thing to put in the kitchen.
He thought you might want to blend something one day, and that's all.
- And you believe that? - Completely.
He's-- He's downstairs now. His heart is breaking. Please go see him.
And also, that story he told you...
about me and the bankbook and the swimming pool?
Yeah?
- What? - It's-- It's true.
- Oh, Bryan. - Oh, Annie.
Oh.
I am so sorry about the blender.
And I see your point. It w-- It w-- It was incredibly insensitive of me.
Oh, no, it's okay. I want it.
Oh, it's my first anniversary present. I'm-- I'm so sorry about calling you a worm.
- My dad told me. - That's-- When I thought I was never gonna see you again, I mean--
- If it wasn't for your father-- - I know. I know.
- I love you. - You too.
Everything fine now?
Good. I'll just, uh, uh--
- Annie! - Hi, Bryan. What's up?
- Well, we made it to January. - Is that for us?
- It was the day before the big day. - Sure. I'll be out in a sec.
The Farmer's Almanac predicted this week was going to be the coldest...
L.A. had seen in over half a century.
But we were so busy, none of us had time to notice.
Franck! Franck. Franck, Franck, Franck.
Sure, yes. We'll do the whole-- You like it?
Looks good, yeah.
Right, together.
Left, together. Right, together.
Left--
Right, together. Left, together.
Hey, Matty. You're up pretty late, aren't ya?
Yeah, I know. I'm just practicing.
I wish I didn't have to walk Mom down the aisle.
Don't worry. You'll be great.
Is it right, together, left or left, together, right?
Well, let's try it. Let's see, we go...
right, together, left, together.
Right, together, left, together.
Good.
Matty, I'm sorry if I've been preoccupied lately with this wedding.
- It's okay. - Yeah, but I have, haven't I?
It's all right. I understand.
- Yeah, but-- - Yeah, you have.
But I haven't felt ignored or anything.
Don't worry, Dad. No permanent damage done.
- Oh, good. - It's really cute and cozy.
And in a great neighborhood. You'll see it.
I am really excited.
I've got all this packing to do, and this room looks so different.
It's gonna be weird, isn't it?
Just you, me and Mom here now.
Yeah. Come on.
G'night, pal. Sleep tight.
- Good luck tomorrow, Dad. - Yeah, you too.
- Annie? - Yeah?
- G'night. - G'night, Matty. I love you.
I love you too.
Today I met the boy I'm gonna marry
He's all I've wanted all my life and even more
He smiled at me and gee, the music started playing
"Here Comes The Bride" when he walked through the door
Today I met the boy I'm gonna marry
The boy whose life and dream and love I want to share
For on my hand a band of gold appeared before me
The band of gold I always dreamed I'd wear
When we kissed I felt the sweet sensation
This time it wasn't just my imagination
Today I met the boy I'm gonna marry
He's just what I've been waiting for Oh, yes
With every kiss, oh "This is it," my heart keeps saying
Today I met
The boy I'm going to marry
- Did I wake you? - No, no. I was up.
So, what are you doing?
I couldn't sleep.
I just kept thinking about how this was my last night in my bed, in my house.
Kind of like my last night as a kid.
I mean, I've lived here since I was five.
And I feel like I'm supposed to turn in my key tomorrow.
It was so strange, packing up my room.
You know how you've always trained me never to throw anything away.
So, like, I have all these ratty stuffed animals...
and yearbooks, my old retainer...
all my old magic tricks.
I've actually packed it all.
I just didn't want to let it go.
I mean, I know I can't stay.
But it's like I don't want to leave.
Well, that's the thing about life, is, uh...
the surprises.
The little things that sneak up on you and grab hold of you.
- It still happens to me. - Thanks.
- What is this? - I don't believe it.
- Oh, my God! Talk about surprises. - It hasn't snowed in L.A. since I was nine.
Mom's gonna die.
What? What is that face?
No. Nothing. I was-- I was just thinking.
Oh, this is gonna end up costing you more money.
No.
How I know I'll remember this moment for the rest of my life.
Whee!
When you live in a city that hasn't seen snow in 36 years...
it's bound to cause a few problems.
First, we panicked and brought in extra heaters.
But they were melting the ice sculptures, so they had to go.
- Right. - Yeah?
- All right. Back in the truck. - Yeah.
The florist had to thaw out our newly planted tulips with a hair dryer.
Franck and Howard shoveled our path themselves at no extra charge.
- Franck? - Just keep shoveling! Don't stop!
'Cause they're gonna be here, you know.
And the swans spent the morning in a lukewarm bath.
Other than that, we were almost running on schedule.
- Nina, it's after 3:00! - All I can say is thank God snow is white.
- It works. You know what I mean? - It works.
Franck, do you have that needle and thread?
Here you go, George. We fix you right up.
- Howard, you better go to the church! - On my way.
Uh-oh. I bring the wrong kolor thread.
I assumed you'd be wearing a black tuxedo.
- It is a black tuxedo. - I don't think so, babe.
This tux if nuffy blue. No doubt about dat. Let me--
What are you talking about? Armani doesn't make a blue tuxedo.
Armani don't also make polyaster.
Franck, where are the cars? We're supposed to be there by now.
Where are dos cares?
All right. Relax, honey. Everything's going to be just fine.
At least we know they can't start without us.
I knew I'd never be able to remember what Nina wore that day.
But I also knew I'd never forget the way she looked.
Nina.
Thank you, George.
You shouldn't look this beautiful. It's not fair to the bride.
- Cars is here! - Huh?
Matthew, frond and cendre!
- Aw! - Aw!
Just kidding.
- Oh, no. - What did you do to your hair, honey?
I gelled it. You don't like it?
N-- Oh, no, no. I think it-- it looks-- yeah-- cool.
- Very debonair, my boy. - Thank you.
- Okay, we'll go in the first car, and you and Annie follow. - Right.
- George. - Oh, I follow! I-- Anne!
Annie?
I'm ready. Come on in.
- You look beautiful. - Thanks.
Okay. Let's get this show on the road.
- We're here! - Oh! Oh, just look!
- Hi. Oh, Mom. - Line up, everyone.
- Mother of the bride. - Oh, George!
Coming through! Here we come. Coming through.
- Left, together, right, together. - Got it, Dad.
- Let me see that. - See?
Let's do this. Okay? I love you.
- I love you too. - Mother of the bride. Mother of the bride. We've gotta go.
- George. - Let's go, everybody. Line up.
It's time. It's time. Mother of the bride.
Come on, mother of the bride. Here we go. I'm opening the doors.
Natasha, haven't you peeked enough? Here we go. Come on. Let's go.
Shh. Okay.
And left, right. Very nice. Smile now.
Right and left.
Right and very nice and left.
Right. Keep smiling.
And left. Hey.
This was the moment I'd been dreading for the past six months.
Well, actually, for the past 22 years.
- Hold on, Dad. - Annie overwhelmed me.
She was as calm and cool as I'd ever seen her. Very un-Banks-like.
Okay.
Here you go.
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here together...
in the presence of family, friends and loved ones...
for the purpose of uniting in matrimony--
All I could think of was the part I had to play.
Then suddenly I went blank. I had one line, and I couldn't remember it.
When the reverend said, "Who presents this woman?"...
was I supposed to say, "That's me," or was it, "I do"?
- ...Forever hold your peace-- - I couldn't think. I felt every eye...
in the place boring into the back of my neck, waiting for me to screw up.
- When suddenly, it was upon me. - And so I now ask...
who presents this woman in holy matrimony?
I do.
Annie and Bryan, you have come here today to join your hands--
- "Who presents this woman?" - Always remember...
- This woman. - this vow of marriage is most solemn...
- But she's not a woman. She's just a kid. - should not be entered into lightly.
- And she's leaving us. - With a deep realization of its obligations and responsibilities.
I realized at that moment that I was never going to come home again...
and see Annie at the top of the stairs.
Never going to see her again at our breakfast table...
in her nightgown and socks.
I suddenly realized what was happening.
Annie was all grown up and leaving us.
And something inside began to hurt.
I, Bryan MacKenzie...
- take thee, Annie Banks... - take thee, Annie Banks...
- to be my wedded wife. - to be my wedded wife.
To love and to comfort from this day forward.
- I, Annie Banks... - I, Annie Banks...
take thee, Bryan MacKenzie...
- take thee, Bryan MacKenzie... - to be my lawful wedded husband.
to be my lawful wedded husband.
To love and to comfort from this day forward.
The ring, please.
With this ring as a token of my love and affection, I thee wed.
Here, sweetie.
With this ring as a token of my love and affection...
I thee wed.
With this ring as a token of my love and affection, I thee wed.
By virtue of the authority vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife.
You may kiss the bride.
Well, she did it.
And now, as my son said, it was time to party.
- Hi, how are you? Good to see you. Don't you look great? - Congratulations.
The house was busting at the seams. Everywhere I looked, there were faces.
Most of which, I might add, I had never seen before.
- George, I'd like you to meet the Danish relatives. These are the Prowses. - Hello!
I met Bryan's Danish relatives, who thanked me profusely for flying them over.
- Hi. How are you? - Everyone was telling me what a great party it was.
How beautiful the house looked. They loved the flowers...
the hors d'oeuvres, the swans.
We even seemed to be getting away with only two parking attendants.
Everything was running smoothly, except for one small detail.
- Annie's very favorite uncle. This is Ben Banks. - I still hadn't kissed the bride.
- Congratulations. - Where's Annie? - Annie. She's having her picture taken.
- Hi, Ben. - How are you, George?
Yes. Ben's been back in Connecticut.
Okay, kids. Look at each other. Very nice. Now, turn towards me, please.
I'm sorry, sir. All traffic has to go through the front door.
Doris! It's so good to see you! How are you?
- Oh, could I have one of those? - Sorry. Just sold my last one.
Hey, a button. It's navy. This must be yours.
We're moving into the tent now. Dinner is served.
This way to the tent, please.
- Uh, let's-- I think we have to go back in-- - Ann-- Annie!
As well, I--
It was unbelievable. I had never seen a line form so fast.
It was as if they knew what the food was costing me.
Finally, I made it into the tent.
I was ready to relax and taste the food I'd been hearing about...
for the past five months, when--
Dad! Dad! There's some cops out front, and they want to talk to you!
- Cops? - I've heard. We'll handle dis togather.
I got George. Ve're on our vay.
Come on, George. Pick it up. Pick it up.
One-Adam-seventy, roger. Standby.
Let me handle this, George. Give me your wallet.
Stop!
- Adam-30, disregard. - What is this?
- See, Cameron? I told ya. - Wow!
Just try to smile. That's all.
- This your house? - Me?
Yeah, you. In the blue tux.
- Yes. Yes, it is. - Do you have a permit for parking 200 cars in this street?
Vell, the-- the problem is, Officer, dat we are supposed to haf four parking attendants.
- Uh, but two got de flu. - Well, you better get...
all these cars off this street before the fire marshall gets here.
Fine, fine. Any sugjoostions what we do with them?
I don't care what you do with them. Just have them off this street within the next 30 minutes.
Vill do, sir. Ve'll take care of it. You're not to worry, okay?
- Franck? Where are you? The cake-- - Uh, uh, George. They need me inside.
Uh, the big moment. The keck is being wheeled out!
- I-- I-- I'll handle this. - I'm on my vay!
Where're we gonna get a couple extra drivers?
Yes!
Whoa!
By the way, great wedding, Mr Banks.
And don't worry! I didn't eat anything!
That makes two of us.
- Where is he? - I don't know.
I know.
Well, I had to admit...
the wedding appeared to be a complete success.
Now, all I needed to make me happy was a dance with the bride.
- It's time. - Ladies and gentlemen...
in just a few moments, Mrs Annie Banks-MacKenzie will be tossing her bouquet in the foyer.
- And then she's off to Hawaii. - Let's go in there. Oh, sorry.
- Excuse me. Thank you. - This I was not going to miss.
- Coming through. - The mob was headed through the living room...
- so I decided to take a shortcut. - Sorry.
- Excuse me. Thank you. - Great wedding, George!
- Had a lovely time. - Thanks. Excuse me. - Great party, George.
Hurry up!
Whoa! Ay-yi-yi-yi!
Whoo!
- Where's my dad? - I-- I-- I don't know.
- I haven't seen him. - Watch it. Behind you.
Excuse me.
- Should I throw it? - Yeah! Yes!
He missed it.
- Bye-bye! - Let us through. Let us--
Bye!
Goodbye, Charlie!
Bye, Bryan!
- Bye! - Bye! - Thanks.
- Bye! - Have fun!
She was gone. My Annie was gone...
and I was too late to say goodbye.
When the last guest was gone...
and the last glass of champagne had been drunk...
we surveyed the damage.
It's funny how empty a house can suddenly get, isn't it?
Yeah. I'm sorry you didn't get a chance to say goodbye to her, George.
Oh, that's all right.
But, you know, I think she's going to be really happy.
Oh, yeah. Sure.
- Hello? - Dad!
Hi! Where are you?
At the airport. Our plane's about to take off...
but I couldn't leave without saying goodbye.
Thank Mom for everything, okay?
And Dad...
I love you.
I love you very much.
I love you too, sweetheart.
Thanks for calling. And have a great honeymoon.
Thanks. I will. Bye.
That was Annie.