DANIEL: I was driving to work this morning thinking I will be here,
in two months, it'll be 10 years.
And you're like my real family. Isn't that tragic?
(ALL LAUGH)
I got a call from my mother this morning who wished me a happy birthday
and hinted around the fact that I wasn't making enough money.
If you can call, "Are you still making the same salary, honey?" a hint.
(ALL LAUGH)
And my ex-wife used to say the same thing
although she never used the word "honey."
So maybe in three years, I can double my income?
Good luck.
Four years? Maybe.
Okay.
So you're great people to work with
and this is a great present.
And I wish I could squeeze all of you into one pretty woman.
And if you'd like to go into my office, I'll try.
Thanks a lot.
(ALL APPLAUDING)
I'll be home in an hour. WOMAN: Why?
I'm taking Daniel to get his new car.
I'm starving. All right.
What'd he get? BMW convertible.
Oh, my God. Leather?
Leather? Oh, yeah.
Yeah. I want one.
All right. Kiss Alex for me.
I want one.
She says, "Happy birthday."
Hey, these are really great. Thanks a million.
Just stuff I like. DANIEL: It's great.
Why do you drive this?
What? I'm curious.
I see people driving these things.
What do you know that I don't? Or flood's coming?
Hoover Dam broke? What's going on?
I like this car.
It's not a car. It's a battering ram.
This is what Patton drove.
(IMITATING PATTON) Hey, you, soldier, follow us.
Make fun, but in an 8.5 earthquake, you'll beg for a Jeep.
In an 8.5 earthquake, I'll beg for a coffin.
(CHUCKLES)
So what are you doing tonight?
I'm gonna take a long drive.
Alone?
Unless somebody comes with the car.
You don't want to be alone on your birthday.
What better day to be alone?
I don't have that hang-up like other people do
about your birthday and parties.
You are born alone, you should celebrate it.
Celebrate aloneness. That's what birthdays are for.
Yeah, I never thought of it like that.
It's a pitiful theory.
CAR SALESMAN: Yeah, sure.
WOMAN ON PHONE: Look, I've had these cars before
and I know there's something wrong. Mmm-hmm.
The smell is making me sick.
That's a normal smell, Mrs. Bernstein.
That's a protective coating, it's not oil burning.
I think it's oil.
You look fantastic. You lose weight?
Did I what?
No, I was talking to someone else.
Did any of the lights come on the dash, dear?
I don't think so.
Well, that means you're okay.
If there's any trouble, they come on.
Mrs. Bernstein, we have a little saying around here.
"If you really smell something and don't see lights, try dry cleaning."
Try what?
She has no sense of humor.
Dry cleaning?
Yeah, uh, tell you what.
If it smells on Monday, you bring it in.
I'm very worried. I'm sure it's nothing.
Well, I'm sure it's something.
Okay. I'm on my way in.
Trouble with one of the new cars?
Oh, no. She's a lunatic.
Boy, you have lost a lot of weight!
How could I lose a lot of weight?
You saw me three days ago.
You look different. Why? What is it?
I don't know.
I just wrote you a check for $39,000.
Ah, that's it. That's the look.
39 grand lighter.
Let's go get it, huh?
Let's get her. Whoo!
Hey, what do you got in the box?
It's my birthday. They gave me a compact disk player.
Hey, happy birthday.
You got a CD player in the car.
No, I don't.
You paid for it. No, I didn't.
You said you wanted the best radio.
The best radio comes with a CD.
Don't worry. You'll love it.
There she is.
Wow. It's gorgeous!
Look at it. It looks huge!
It's beautiful! Beautiful.
That's not it. That's a 750. That's it.
What a cutie.
Gee, try not to show the 750 first.
My car looks like a turd now.
I'm gonna level with you.
If I had to choose between this car and yours,
I'd take yours every time.
You're an idiot, Jim.
(♫ "SOMETHING'S COMING" PLAYING)
♪ Could be ♪
♪ Who knows ♪
♪ There's something due ♪ ♪ any day ♪
(♫ SINGING ALONG) ♪ I will know right away ♪
♪ Soon as it shows ♪
♪ It may come cannonballin' ♪ ♪ down through the sky ♪
♪ Gleam in its eye ♪
♪ Bright as a rose… ♪
(HORN HONKS) Whoo!
♪ It's only just ♪ ♪ out of reach ♪
♪ Down the block ♪ ♪ on a beach ♪
♪ Under a tree ♪
♪ Zubba dee be de be ♪
♪ There's a miracle due ♪ ♪ gonna come true, coming to me ♪
MAN: Do we all have to hear that?
♪ With a click ♪ ♪ with a shock ♪
♪ Ba na blim bla ♪ ♪ door'll knock, boop! ♪
♪ Open the latch ♪
♪ Something's coming ♪ ♪ don't know when ♪
♪ But it's soon ♪ ♪ catch the moon ♪
♪ One-handed catch ♪
♪ Around the corner ♪
♪ Or whistling ♪ ♪ down the river ♪
♪ Do do do la la la ♪
♪ Come to me ♪
(HORN BLARING)
(SCREAMING)
Good afternoon, and welcome to Judgment City.
You've just had quite a little journey,
so for now, relax and enjoy the ride.
Considering the transformation you've just been through,
you really won't have any choice.
Now, if we've done our work correctly,
you should all be from the western half of the United States.
Even though this isn't the Earth,
our surroundings should seem pleasing and very familiar to you.
Exactly why you're here
and what you'll be doing will be explained later.
No need to worry about that now.
Soon we will be dropping you off at your hotel.
You will sleep the night and tomorrow when you wake,
you'll feel wonderful and raring to go.
You'll find many activities for your enjoyment here in Judgment City.
For example,
how many like to play golf?
You won't be able to get your hands up just yet,
but good, we have three championship golf courses.
So sit back and have fun.
You're all gonna be here for the next five days
and we want you to enjoy yourselves.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is the Continental Hotel.
Those staying here will be escorted from the tram.
The rest of us will depart momentarily. Thank you.
Watch your step.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome. My name is Stan.
Because of what you've just been through,
you'll want to go directly to your room and go fast asleep.
You're already checked in.
You have nothing to worry about tonight.
Everything will be explained to you in the morning.
Have a good rest.
If you have any questions, I'm here to help.
Thank you.
Excuse me, sir.
Mr. Miller, this is your room. Make yourself at home.
I'll be right back.
This way, please, sir.
Sir. All the clothing you'll need for the time you're here is in this closet.
We call these tupas. They're like caftans.
They're quite comfortable and they fit everyone.
Would you like to shower, or are you too tired?
You're too tired?
I understand. There are five channels
of programming on the television.
Channel 3 will tell you all about Judgment City.
Have a wonderful night's sleep,
and if I can do anything for you, I'm at your service.
I'd be very surprised if you found anything in there,
but I appreciate the attempt.
Sleep well.
(SNORING)
- Good morning, Ellen. - Morning.
- Good morning, Philip. - Morning.
Glad you could make it, Leonard.
Good morning, Susan.
Good morning, Mr. Diamond.
Who's prosecuting?
Lena Foster.
Hmm.
Huh.
She's going to have a field day with this one.
She lost last Thursday.
Really?
There is a God.
Okay, call him up, please.
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
Hmm.
(RINGING CONTINUES)
Hello? Mr. Miller?
Yes?
Hold on for Bob Diamond, please.
Who?
DIAMOND: Daniel? Yeah?
Diamond here. How are you, my friend? Good sleep?
Yes. Amazing, isn't it?
Listen, you're gonna get up, get showered,
you're gonna put on some of those nice clothes,
you're gonna take a tram downtown
and you're gonna come see me this morning.
Do you have any idea what's going on?
No.
Well, in a nutshell, you're here to defend your life,
and I'm going to help you.
Defend my life?
In a few hours, you're going to be smarter than anyone you've ever met.
Sound exciting?
Yeah, I guess.
It is, believe me.
Say, did you eat breakfast yet?
No.
I've got some good news for you.
It's not only the best food you'll ever have, but you can eat all you want.
I can what?
As long as you're here, you can eat all you want.
It won't affect you physically
and you won't gain weight.
So pig out! Eat 30 hotcakes. I'll see you at 11:00.
I can eat all I want?
Eat everything. Take care.
(DIAL TONE)
Hello?
WOMAN ON TV: You never loved me.
You never loved me for a second.
MAN: I've loved you from the day I met you.
When was the first day you meet me?
Do you remember?
Don't do this to me, Karen.
Of course, I remember.
WOMAN: What's my middle name?
You never told me that.
It's the first thing I told you.
In which life?
(CHANGES CHANNEL) (STUDIO AUDIENCE GROAN)
That's it, Lenore. You tried, you failed.
The game's over for you.
Stay here and someone will come and get you.
Stu, the decision is yours.
Do you want to stop here, or face your fear?
I'll face the fear.
He's facing his fear!
ANNOUNCER: You might just get a hole in one.
Say, want to eat a lot?
Ted's House of Buffet says you can have everything you see, plus more.
Our chefs will cook it, but they won't look.
Like to horseback ride?
Judgment Stables, open till sunset, welcomes you.
If your trial's through early,
come take a 2-mile ride with us.
You'll have fun.
(♫ MUZAK PLAYING)
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
Good morning.
"Take the eggs, I pray thee."
So, what's good here?
Everything we have is sensational.
How's the cheese omelet? Sensational.
I'll take it and some orange juice.
I'll be right back.
(BELL DINGS)
Whoa!
Wow!
This wasn't made for somebody else, was it?
No, this was made for you.
That fast?
Fast and delicious. Eat all you want.
Phew.
Oh, my!
Mmm!
Mr. Miller?
Mmm!
Delicious. That's nice.
A red tram is leaving right now
that will get you into town by 11:00. Mmm-hmm.
Just to make sure you're on time,
I think you should leave now.
These are the best eggs I've ever had ever.
Of course.
WOMAN OVER PA: Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to the Inner City Transport System.
Please remain seated until the your vehicle comes to a full stop.
Never exit the tram while it's in motion
because of the electronic field
that's setup around the moving vehicle.
It is very dangerous. Thank you.
Oh, so young!
AIDS?
Oh, no. Car accident.
Oh, my God!
But you feel okay now, don't you?
Yes, I do.
Oh, me, too.
Isn't it amazing? Is this what you thought it would be?
I certainly didn't.
I don't know what it is yet. Do you?
No, I guess I don't.
You make me think of my little poodle.
Do you have a dog?
I did have a dog, yeah.
Oh.
Well, I'll tell you about my dog.
I had a little…
Have you got a while?
Yeah, go ahead.
They let us on the train in those days.
We didn't have to put him in the baggage car.
And every time the conductor was coming around,
he knew it.
And he would crawl down in the corner of the bag.
Did you ever have a dog?
You asked me that twice.
What did you say? Yes.
What did I say?
You said it's wonderful.
Well, it is.
Mr. Miller, welcome. I'm Helen,
- one of Mr. Diamond's assistants. - Oh, hi.
- Would you come with me, please? - Sure.
- Bye-bye. - Bye-bye.
Looks familiar, doesn't it?
I was just thinking that.
Well, that's how it was designed,
so it can be as stress-free for you folks as possible.
By the way, if there's anything we can do to make it more like Earth,
we have suggestion boxes on almost every corner.
We'd like to hear from you.
You know, if you really want to make this whole place seem more like Earth,
you should start building some of those mini malls.
You know, it's funny you should say that.
Six of them opened up just outside of town.
I hear they're lovely.
Personally, I don't think I would use them
because I don't like yogurt and I love doing my own nails.
Mr. Diamond will be with you in just a moment.
Thank you.
Huh!
Daniel, Bob Diamond.
Hi. Come on in.
(BOOKS THUD)
How are you?
Sit down, my friend.
What are you looking at? What's wrong?
You… You look good in that tupa.
Some people don't, but you do.
It's flattering to you.
Thanks.
So, is this what you thought it would be?
Thought what would be? Where am I? Is this heaven?
No, it isn't heaven.
Is it hell?
No, it isn't hell either.
Actually, there is no hell.
Although I hear Los Angeles is getting pretty close.
(LAUGHS)
Well, Daniel,
let me tell you what's going on.
When you're born into this universe,
you're in it for a long, long time.
You have many different lifetimes,
and after each lifetime,
there's an examining period, which you're in now.
You see, every second of every lifetime is always recorded,
and as each one ends, we sort of look at it…
Look at a few of the days, examine it.
And then if everybody agrees, you move forward.
What do you mean, move forward?
I mean move forward. Continue onward.
The point of this whole thing is to keep getting smarter,
to keep growing,
to use as much of your brain as possible.
For example, I use 48% of my brain.
Do you know how much you use?
47?
3.
I'm sorry?
3.
I use 3% of my brain?
Yes. Don't worry about it.
Everybody on Earth uses 3% of their brain.
3 to 5%. That's why they're there.
Three? 3%? 3%?
You mean nobody on Earth uses more than that?
When you use more than 5% of your brain,
you don't want to be on Earth, believe me.
Well, not that your take-out places are lovely,
but there are more exciting destinations for smarter people.
Now, being from Earth as you are
and using as little of your brain as you do,
your life has pretty much been devoted to dealing with fear.
It has?
Well, everybody on Earth deals with fear.
That's what Little Brains do.
What are "Little Brains"?
That's what we call you folks behind your back.
(SNICKERING)
Forgive me.
Who are you?
Well, I'm just like you.
I was on Earth a long time ago.
But I advanced, I moved forward. I got over my fears.
And I got smarter.
Did you have friends whose stomachs hurt?
Every one of them. It's fear.
Fear is like a giant fog.
It sits on your brain and blocks everything…
Real feelings, true happiness, real joy.
They can't get through that fog.
But you lift it,
and, buddy, you're in for the ride of your life.
God, my 3% is swimming.
What are you reading?
You wouldn't understand this.
Just numbers.
You read numbers? Yes, sir.
So I'm on trial for being afraid?
First of all, I don't like to call it a "trial."
Second of all, yes.
Well, what if I'm guilty, what happens to me?
Don't think "innocent" or "guilty."
Worse comes to worse, you'll go back to Earth and you'll try it again.
Well, what do you do? You just keep going back until you get it right?
Well, you don't keep going back.
Eventually, they'll throw you away.
Have I been to Earth before? Oh, yeah.
How many times? Approaching 20.
Is that a lot?
I was there six.
Oh, my God!
So I'm the dunce of the universe.
Don't be silly.
We've had people who've been there 100 times.
I wouldn't want to hang out with any of them,
but we've seen them.
If you're defending me, is there a prosecutor?
Damn good one. Lena Foster.
We call her "The Dragon Lady."
That's our prosecutor? Mmm-hmm.
Who does she work for?
The universe.
You see, the Universe is like a big machine, and you and I are parts.
Now they don't want a part to get through unless it's ready.
A bad part gets through
and the whole machine breaks down.
So that's what we're here for,
to make sure you're ready.
So what do they want to look at exactly?
I can't tell you that exactly.
But I can tell you it's nine days from your life.
Nine days?
So my trial goes on for nine days?
No. All the trials go on for four days.
Over that time, we're looking at nine days,
or episodes from your life.
Which days? Tell me that.
I'm not allowed.
Is that a normal number?
High? Low? Is that a good number? Normal?
You're very concerned about normal, aren't you?
Kind of cute.
I'd prefer seven, but nine's fine.
Some people have 12.
Say, you're hungry? Starving.
I had one bite, then I got on the tram.
Well, Mr. All-You-Can-Eat, let's stuff. Come on.
DANIEL: Mmm! Mm!
We have about 400,000 residents here.
We service half of the United States' dead.
That's about 2,500 people a day.
Good.
Do children come here?
Children don't have to defend themselves.
When a child is taken, they automatically move forward.
Isn't that nice?
Mmm, what about teenagers?
Too much trouble. They go elsewhere.
We tried for a while, but they damaged the tupas.
Too rowdy.
What about your chicken? How do you like?
Oh, delicious. Yeah.
Mmm. What are you eating?
Oh, you wouldn't like this. (CHUCKLES)
What is it? What does it taste like?
You're curious, aren't you?
Good! I like that about you.
You want to try? Yeah.
It looks so weird.
(SPITS)
(LAUGHS)
Oh, my God.
A little like horse shit, huh?
(GAGS)
As you get smarter, you manipulate your senses.
This tastes much different to me, than it does to you.
Ooh! (GAGS)
This is what smart people eat?
So talk to me, Daniel.
Tell me about your life.
You feel you had any problems?
Well, sure I had some problems.
Everybody has problems, don't they?
Everybody on earth. Yeah. (CHUCKLES)
Did you give a lot to charity?
What do you mean a lot?
A lot of money. Did you donate things?
This isn't a good or bad thing.
It's just merely my curiosity.
Well, I mean, I'm sure I could have given more.
I gave a lot to people on the street,
but you never get a receipt.
How much do you have to give?
What's the total?
Don't worry about it.
Relax!
But there was one person you were really cheap with over and over again.
I wish you'd been more generous with him.
Who?
You.
Well, I got to go. I'm late.
Where do you go now?
You wouldn't understand.
I don't mean that as an insult.
I mean it literally.
Get out tonight. Have some fun.
Say, you know what you might try?
Get over the past lives pavilion.
What is that?
It's where you see the people you've been before.
What? Yeah.
You see yourself in other lives? Yeah.
Most people love it. But some it makes nauseous.
(LAUGHS)
Don't worry about it.
All right. Take care.
Listen, you like that chicken?
You want to take it with you?
They love putting things in bags around here.
If you need to talk to me at any time,
just call me up.
I never sleep. Never?
Well, I had another question. See ya'.
Okay, I'll call you later.
MAN: Already checked in.
You have nothing to worry about tonight.
(SCOFFS)
Everything will be explained to you in the morning.
Have a good rest.
If you have any questions, I'm here to help.
Thank you.
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
If I told you how old this man was,
you wouldn't believe me.
Should I tell them? Huh? Should I?
We're talking light-years.
Light-years.
He looks good, though.
No prostate, but he looks fine.
(MAN LAUGHS)
Come on. You're looking at me like stunned sheep.
Come on, folks.
What is this, a white sale?
Come on!
Well, folks, I'm going to tell you a story.
About a year ago,
this little brain comes in here.
I'm talking, and this is documented,
half a percent of his brain, at the most.
He orders a piece of pie.
He forgets what it is.
(INAUDIBLE)
Well, I know what it is. I'm looking and it's a piece of pie.
I say, "What the hell are you doing?"
He says, "I'm waiting to make a call."
I say, "Does that look like a phone?"
He says, "It is a phone."
(CHUCKLES)
Well, the joke was on me.
He picked up the pie, called his mother.
Folks, come on, please, stay with me here.
You're on trial, not me, okay?
Hi. What's your name?
Arthur.
Hi, Arthur, and where were you from?
Denver.
Lovely city, Denver, Arthur.
Did you ski? No.
How'd you die?
I was in a coma.
I'm sorry. How long were you in the coma?
I really don't know.
Let's play a game, Art.
Elvis. Living or dead?
Living.
Long coma, Art.
Long coma.
Have a nice day.
Hi. How are you? What's your name?
Ernie.
Hi, Ernie, you having a good time here in judgment city?
Oh, it's fun. Food's good.
Yeah, it is, isn't it?
Have you been on the stables? A little exercise?
You like to horseback ride?
Not very much.
Good.
There's a nice-looking young man over there.
Hi. How'd you die?
On stage, like you.
(ALL LAUGHING)
Pretty funny. Maybe you should come up here, huh?
No, thank you.
Of course, he doesn't want to come up here.
You know why? 'Cause this is very hard work.
But I love to do it, and I love you little brains.
As a matter of fact, have you heard any new little brain jokes lately?
Hi. Hi.
I know you, right?
I hope so. Who are you?
I'm Julia. Hi. I'm Daniel.
Hi. You know me?
Well, I thought I did.
You weren't in the bus, were you?
What bus? I hit a bus.
Oh, no, I don't think so.
Oh, good. Sit down.
I'm sorry, I just…
You really look so familiar to me.
Really? Yeah.
Maybe because I'm the only man in here under a 100.
(LAUGHS)
Yeah, that could be it.
(CLEARS THROAT)
MAN ON PA: Check the time.
You know, I want to tell you a true story.
This really happened.
About three months ago,
these six dead people come in…
Obviously humor has nothing to do with brain size.
Obviously.
Do you want to take a walk or something,
or do you want to stay, see the show?
Well, I have to. That's my dad.
I'm kidding. Oh…
That would be so sad for me. That would be awful.
So, the moral of the story is, folks,
if you got to fart, go outside.
Let's go. Please. Let's just go.
Folks, please. Please, folks.
You don't wanna miss the song.
We'll get the record.
Please.
Okay.
Right now, Ed and I would like to do a beautiful song.
I know it's one of your favorites.
We'd like to do it a little different. (♫ PLAYING)
This one's from me…
To you.
♪ That was life ♪
♪ Ooh… Ah… ♪
♪ That's how you lived it ♪
♪ And now you little brains ♪ ♪ are here to defend it ♪
I'm glad we stayed. Yeah.
Let's go. Okay.
♪ …just swell ♪
♪ And if not, ♪ ♪ you'll go to hell… ♪
I'm just kidding!
What's that? What?
(VOCALIZES)
(LAUGHING)
I don't believe you.
You'll make a great baby in the next life.
Oh, God.
Didn't anyone ever tell you
you carry yourself very stiffly?
Leave me alone. I'm dead.
All right.
How many days are you looking at?
My lawyer says nine.
You call him a lawyer?
What do you call yours?
Sam.
You call him by his first name?
Yeah. Never occurred
I bet you called everybody by their first name, didn't you?
Like, what was your butcher's name?
Pete.
What about your mailman?
Jesse. What was your mailman's name?
I have no idea.
He was coming to my house for over a decade,
and I couldn't tell you.
Didn't you get him a Christmas presents or anything? Yes. Liquor.
But I just put it in the box. Uh-huh.
I don't suppose you had a butcher?
Steve. Steve Rubin.
Seriously? Yeah.
Steve? But he wasn't
He was just a good buddy who had the equipment
and liked to cut meat.
What? You'd bring him a steak, he'd cut it.
Chat for a while and go home.
So, how many days are you looking at?
Four. That's all?
I guess that means you'll go on.
Oh…
I hope so. Sam thinks so.
Sam does? Yeah.
I hope you and Sam are very happy.
I'll write you from hell.
I like this.
Were you married? Yes.
Children? No.
What about you?
Well, I had a little girl, and I adopted a little boy.
How old were they?
Stephanie was seven, and Adam was nine.
I bet they miss you, huh?
I'm sure they do.
I miss them, but I feel okay about it.
Don't you?
Well, I didn't really know them that well.
No, I mean…
- It does… It feels ok. Doesn't it? - Yeah.
They say they make it that way
so we can get down to work,
so we can look at our lives without any distractions.
I know, my lawyer Bob told me the same thing.
Yeah?
But wouldn't you call this a distraction?
Yes.
But isn't eating all you want a distraction?
Oh, isn't that the best?
Isn't that the best?
I had a dream six months ago
that I would go to a place where I could eat as much as I wanted.
And now I'm here!
You think you were dreaming about this place?
No, no. I think I was dreaming about sizzler.
There was one a block from my house.
(SIGHS)
What about your husband?
Did you have a good marriage?
Parts of it were okay.
How about your wife?
I got married too young. That's all I can say.
How old were you?
71.
What did she look like?
Very pretty. Too pretty.
What do you mean?
Well, I have this theory that you should be with another person
who's good-looking enough to turn you on.
Any excess brings problems.
She was much prettier than I needed.
I never heard that theory before.
So, do you like your lawyer? Are you happy with him?
Oh, he's brilliant.
You know how big his brain is?
I just came from a world filled with penis envy.
Now I'm in a world with brain envy.
No. How big is his brain?
Hmm.
What is this?
It's my hotel.
This is your hotel?
Yeah.
Where are you staying?
Obviously, the place for people who weren't generous
and didn't adopt anybody.
I'm at the continental.
Come over. We'll paint it.
Listen.
Tomorrow after the trials, you want to have dinner?
Oh, I can't tomorrow.
You can't? No. I'm sorry.
Well, you can't have plans already.
What am I supposed to do? Call you in two weeks?
No. Sam is just having a small dinner party.
He said that there are gonna be some very, very smart people there.
He asked me if I wanted to go.
Sam again.
I hope you're not dating your defender.
I just know in my heart it's wrong.
- Well, I'll call you after the dinner. - Okay.
We could talk on the phone. Good.
It will give me time to have sex with my prosecutor.
Good luck tomorrow.
Thanks.
Good night. Good night.
(PA DINGING)
WOMAN ON PA: Champagne and caviar
are now being served in the blue room.
Daniel, right here.
How you feeling, buddy?
Feeling pretty good.
You doing all right? I'm doing okay.
Let's go.
Nervous?
No. Should I be?
I wouldn't be.
What did you do last night?
I met this amazing woman.
You met a girl? You're kidding me.
What are you laughing at?
It just sounds funny.
Two days after the car accident,
you're in love. Go figure.
Like I believe it. I've done this a million times,
and every time it feels like new.
Here we are.
Ready?
Hello, Robert.
Well, well, well. If it isn't my old friend.
I heard we lost last Thursday, didn't we?
Leave it to you to greet me with that.
Turnabout's fair play, I think.
I'm going to get you.
I promise.
Good morning.
Don't make
Are you two feuding?
It isn't a feud.
Feuding suggests at one time you liked each other.
We never did.
There should be a mistrial here.
This isn't a mistrial.
This isn't a trial. Then it's a "mis"
You two are already fighting.
Morning.
Good morning. Good morning.
Morning. Morning.
Mr. Miller, I'm sure your defender
has explained all of the basics to you,
but let me just say,
even though this feels like a trial, it really isn't.
It's just a process that helps us decide.
As imperfect as it may be,
we think it works quite well.
What you're going to see in the screen Mr. Miller,
will look and feel so real to you,
you might be a little uneasy at first.
But just relax.
After a while, I think it will become pleasurable to you.
They tell me it feels something like 3-D.
Any questions, Mr. Miller?
Miss Foster, you may begin.
Thank you, Your Honors.
Over the course of the following four days,
I will attempt to show that Daniel Miller,
while he's a quality human being,
is still held back by the fears
that have plagued him lifetime after lifetime.
I believe that I can show, without a shadow of a doubt,
that he must once again be returned to earth
to work on this problem.
May we begin in childhood, please?
Could we go to 11-4-19?
JUDGE: By the way, Mr. Miller,
this signifies you're 11 years, 4 months, and 19 days old.
Is that clear?
I think so.
What are the words If I said 9-2-17,
you would be 9 years, 2 months, and 17 days old.
I understand.
DIAMOND: Psst.
(BEEPING)
Wow!
Realistic, isn't it, Mr. Miller?
(SCATTERED CHATTER)
Hey, Miller, look what I found.
Come on. Give me that.
Make me.
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
You know why you're not gonna make me?
'Cause I'll beat the shit out of you.
You couldn't beat the shit out of me.
Oh, yeah?
(GROANS) Hit him, Daniel!
(ALL CLAMORING)
Come on, chicken.
Poor chicken.
Hit me right here. Come on, chicken.
BOY: Hit him, Daniel!
ALL: Hit him! Hit him!
Why don't you stick up for yourself?
Low life chicken.
ALL: Chicken! Chicken!
Oh…
Well, that's too bad.
Listen, why don't you come over to my house later
and I'll help you glue it back together.
(ALL LAUGHING)
(BELL RINGS)
(BEEPS)
Mr. Miller, would you tell us what you were feeling
as you watched that episode?
It felt strange to watch myself.
Is that what you mean?
No, I mean emotionally.
What kind of feelings did this bring up?
Um…
Frustration?
It's not a test.
There's no right answer.
Is that what you felt? Frustration?
I guess.
Do you know why you were afraid?
I object.
How did we introduce the word "afraid" all of a sudden?
From frustration to afraid?
This is already pronouncing him guilty.
Couldn't we use another word, please?
What word would you use?
What word would I use?
How about "restraint"?
I think the little boy was quite dignified.
Restraint?
Yes, ma'am.
May I show you what I mean?
Be my guest.
Your Honors, may we go to 1-8-17, please?
(BEEPING)
- What are you accusing me of? - Nothing.
- What are you accusing me of? - Nothing!
Why don't you say it to my face?
What are you talking about?
Why don't you ever think about my problems?
Just lower your voice. Lower my voice?
You said you wouldn't yell in front of the baby.
Baby. It's always the baby. (BABBLES)
What about me?
I live here, too! This is my house, too!
- I work very hard to pay for this house! - I know you do.
No, you don't.
The minute I earn it, you go out and spend it!
What do you mean? You think I spend too much money?
Yes! All I do is scrimp!
Look, if you don't like it,
why don't you get on you high horse and get out of here!
George, stop it! No!
This happens every time you drink!
Every time! It's lecture time!
Why don't you just sit down and join the lecture!
Please… Don't touch me.
George!
(CRYING)
(BEEPS)
DIAMOND: In that one brief, extraordinary moment
when that baby and his father's eyes linked,
this child learned the meaning of restraint.
He wasn't afraid.
He was mature.
He was non-violent.
Dignified, I call it.
Now, my colleague may believe in hitting first
and asking questions later.
But, we're not all that way.
I resent that.
Let's ask Mr. Miller.
Mr. Miller, in the schoolyard,
did you want to hit that child back?
Well, I wanted to hit him back, but I felt restraint.
You felt restraint. I see.
And do you think that restraint
is the best course of action every single time
in every case?
No.
Wouldn't this have been a case to not restrain yourself?
I believe, if you'd have stuck up for yourself,
this event would not have haunted you
throughout your entire lifetime.
You never got this out of your mind.
You always thought about it, didn't you?
Hold on a second!
People think about lots of things
throughout their entire lifetime.
You're going to isolate this one incident?
Aren't we here to isolate incidents?
Or maybe I don't understand the job.
Your Honors, to save valuable time,
I submit 11-4-19 as shown,
without further comment.
JUDGE: Mr. Diamond?
I'm fully satisfied.
I love watching this kid.
Mr. Miller, is there anything you would like to say?
I feel very good about the restraint idea.
Thank you, Mr. Miller.
JUDGE: Mr. Diamond, you're up.
Your Honors, while we're still in childhood,
I'd like to show something
which I feel is absolutely extraordinary.
Could we go to 10-9-15, please?
(BEEPING)
I'm on probation for stealing those books.
Now they're gonna think I stole this.
I'm gonna be expelled.
You won't be expelled.
Of course I will. I'm already on probation.
I'm in big trouble.
(SHUSHING)
Good afternoon, class.
ALL: Good afternoon, Mr. Wadworth.
Continue working on the assignment you started last Tuesday.
Here, take these.
Really?
I'll say I lost mine.
But you'll get in trouble.
Just do it.
Daniel, where are your supplies?
I left them at home.
You left them?
I lost them.
What did you do? Lose them or leave them?
Well, both, I left them and I lost them.
Where are your supplies, Daniel?
What's going on? Do you know how much these things cost?
Class, tell Daniel how much the paints cost.
ALL: $10.
And the brushes?
ALL: $3.
What's the total?
ALL: $13.
If you don't have any paint, you can't be an artist, Daniel.
If just like you can't be a swimmer unless you get into the water.
You've got to have paint, you understand that?
Yeah. This is careless behavior.
I'll have to call your father after school today.
We're gonna have to figure out a way for you to pay for this.
Yeah.
(BEEPS)
You got in quite a bit of trouble for that, didn't you, Dan?
Yes.
But you felt your friend would have been punished worse.
Yes.
Your Honors, at 10 years old,
he showed the kind of courage that most adults never find.
I let the life stand for itself here.
Could we go to 10-9-15? It's the evening of that same day.
Thanks.
(BEEPING)
How are you gonna get the money to pay for this?
I don't know.
I'm very, very disappointed in you.
I'm sorry.
Now, we're gonna have to punish you severely.
You don't have to punish me.
Yes, we do.
First of all, no television for a month!
I didn't do it!
Steve did it!
It was Steve's fault.
What are you saying to me?
Steve lost the paints.
He probably stole them, just like he stole the books.
I didn't do it. You've got to believe me.
Steve.
Yeah.
Hey, punish him.
(BEEPS)
What happened to your friend Steve?
Do you remember, Mr. Miller?
What do you mean?
He was expelled from school two days later.
Isn't that what happened to him?
I thought he left on his own.
What's the point, please?
I'm looking at the results
of what you call a courageous action.
Mr. Miller might have acted bravely in the classroom,
but we just watched him crumble a few hours later, and why?
At the threat of no television?
I was 10-years-old.
Television is everything to a 10-year-old.
It's like heroin.
You can't just pull it away.
And I never wanted to watch television.
My parents made me 'cause they could go out.
And I got hooked.
You Honors, Miss Foster and I have had this argument
for a long time.
I think the act itself is what's important.
But she wants to keep enlarging it
until everything loses its meaning.
If I fixed a flat tire on your car,
and two years later I lose your garden hose,
according to you I'm not going to get any credit for the flat.
I'm just the dumb guy who lost the hose.
And let me suggest this…
Did we ever think
that this young boy had a bond with his father?
I don't think it had anything to do with the friend.
I just think Daniel couldn't lie to his dad.
That's all.
You're nodding, Mr. Miller.
Does that mean you agree with Mr. Diamond?
Oh, yes.
I had a bond with my father.
I pretty much never lied to him.
You never lied to your father?
Would you like me to show you at least 500 examples?
I said "pretty much" never lied.
I didn't say I never ever lied.
You have to lie sometimes…
In an emergency.
But it doesn't mean that the bond is affected.
If you've got the bond, the bond's always there.
And if you have to lie occasionally,
you not gonna interfere with the bond.
You know…
The bond can wait for a little lie.
And in the end it's there for you.
You know, sometimes in the middle of a lie,
I found that the bond would kick in,
maybe squeeze a little truth out.
Psst.
Wrap it up.
I'm through.
Very good day. I'm very pleased.
She's tough, isn't she?
If I told you how tough, my friend
you wouldn't sleep, believe me.
Well, I'm off. Call me if you need me.
What are you doing this evening?
Going out with that gal? I can't. She's busy.
Busy? Hah!
Well, I'll be damned.
How are you? All right.
(SPEAKING JAPANESE)
Hi.
How are you? (SPEAKS JAPANESE)
Thank you.
(SPEAKING JAPANESE)
Uh, some sake. Sake.
One sake!
ALL: (SHOUTING) Sake!
How are you tonight? Fine.
Thank you.
What's good here? Everything we have.
Everything.
What's this? Looks like a worm.
That's our resident food.
What does it taste like?
You'll, uh, throw up.
Okay. Let me have the tuna.
Tuna, sure. Okay. Tuna!
Very good tuna!
Oh, very fast. Very fast.
So I've been told.
Mmm. Delicious.
Do you like it? Very good.
Thank you very much. Very good.
So how many days are you looking at?
Hmm?
How many days you looking at?
Nine. Nine?
Mmm-hmm. Nine days?
Oh, my God. Nine days!
ALL: Nine days!
(ALL SHOUTING)
You better have more sake.
You got nine days? Yeah.
I got 15.
My name's Frank. Daniel.
15 days? Mmm-hmm.
Is that a lot? I don't know.
How'd you die, Dan? May I call you Dan?
Yeah. I got hit by a bus. Ooh.
What about yourself?
Got shot in the head.
Really? Murder?
No. Hunting accident.
Some putz with bad eyesight thought I was an animal.
(LAUGHING)
How did you make your living, Dan? Advertising.
What about yourself?
I made money in adult books. Selling them?
No, reading them. Yes, of course, selling them.
(CHUCKLING)
Were you from I.A.?
You know those nightclubs up by the airport?
Those strip clubs?
I coined the phrase "all nude."
What do you mean? That was mine.
I bought two of the clubs that were going under.
They were only using the word "nude."
I put up "totally all nude."
Mmm-hmm.
Doubled business in a month.
I got to take a piss. You want to go?
No.
CHEFS: (SHOUTING) Thank you very much!
I'm not leaving. I'm just going to take a piss.
CHEFS: (SHOUTING) Take a piss!
(PHONE RINGING)
Hello? MAN: Mr. Miller?
Yes?
I have a message for you, sir.
You do? Yes.
Here it comes.
JULIA: Hi! Where are you?
Okay.
I'm going to sleep.
Listen, tomorrow when you're through,
meet me by the front entrance, the main entrance.
I'll be there.
I miss you. Isn't that funny? (CHUCKLES)
Good night. (LINE CLICKS)
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING ON TV)
DIAMOND: This is wild.
Now, let me get this straight.
You actually had sex with Benjamin Franklin?
Twice. (AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
How was he?
He was fat, Bob.
AUDIENCE: Ooh!
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
I couldn't believe it when they told me.
(CHUCKLES) It's wonderful.
I forgot all about it.
He was willing to sleep underwater.
(LAUGHS) Marvelous.
Good morning. Oh, good morning.
Morning. I'm Dick Stanley.
I'm going to defend you today. You're what?
I'm going to defend you today.
Now, Mr. Diamond couldn't make it.
I'm filling in for him.
He couldn't make it? (CHUCKLES)
Come on, you're playing with me.
Mr. Diamond will be back tomorrow.
How can you defend me? You don't know anything about me.
Mr. Miller I use 51% of my brain.
I know everything about you.
51%? That's clocked?
Clocked. Impressive.
Oh, I would lose. I can't start all over with you.
(STUTTERS) I have lots…
No, I operate a little differently from Mr. Diamond,
but without tooting my own horn,
I'm quite good at this.
I'm familiar with every day of your life
and I want you to have confidence.
I'm going to lose.
Good morning. Good morning.
JUDGE: Good morning, everybody.
Thank you so much.
That was so nice.
Oh, it was nothing.
JUDGE: Good morning, Mr. Miller.
Good morning.
Your Honor, my defender is not here this morning.
And I feel that under the circumstances,
this puts me at a disadvantage.
It's quite common. Mr. Stanley will do fine.
Let's begin.
(SIGHS) Your Honors,
today I would like to begin with an episode
in the 24th year of life.
Mr. Miller had been, uh, out of school
and working for several years.
And he had put aside $10,000 specifically to invest.
Do you remember, Mr. Miller?
One of Mr. Miller's good friends from school
was the son of an executive of the Casio corporation,
which at that time was a very small company
and not doing particularly well.
Mr. Miller had a dinner with his friend, Your Honors
at which he was given information
which comes along maybe once every five, six lifetimes.
May we go to 24-2-16, please?
(WHIRRING)
(BEEPING)
They're gearing up now.
They should start production in about three months.
Buy as much stock as you can.
(SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Switzerland keeps the time, Charles,
not Japan.
That's gonna change. I don't think so.
Wait, why can't Japan keep the time?
'Cause you need a society that's into precision to keep time.
And with all due respect, Japan makes a hell of a radio,
but they don't know beans about precision.
Now, you come here,
and you tell me the Germans are going to start making watches,
you've got my money.
(CHUCKLES) What's the stock
Six. Okay, here's
When word hits the street,
you're at three.
(CHUCKLES) You watch.
Remember who said it.
(LAUGHING)
(BEEP) (WHIRRING)
LENA: Your Honors, for the record, the Casio corporation
is one of the largest manufacturers of timepieces in the universe.
I know who they are.
And for the record, Your Honors,
his original investment of $10,000
would be worth 37.2 million today.
Wow!
Mmm-hmm. I have nothing further to say at this time.
Mr. Stanley. I'm fine.
You're what? He's not going to
You're not gonna say anything at all now?
You speak.
I'd like to hear what you have to say.
Jeez, you are good.
Listen, (STUTTERS) I'm not as smart as everyone here,
but does this make me defective
because I didn't make money on this?
I can't believe that the whole point of the universe is…
Is to make money. (STUTTERS) I just can't believe that.
LENA: This has nothing to do with making money.
We're looking at a judgment you made.
And nobody dragged you from your home and said,
"You have to invest $10,000."
You chose to do that.
You sought the investment.
We're just looking at that choice.
What did you finally invest in, Mr. Miller?
Do you remember?
(SOFTLY) I think it was cattle.
Hmm? (NORMAL) Cattle.
What happened to the cattle?
I never got a straight answer.
All I know is, their teeth fell out.
I rest.
Mr. Stanley, you're up.
No counter at this time, Your Honor.
Wait a second.
You're not going to show something in my favor?
Not at this juncture. No.
I think we'd do better to move on.
(SCOFFS) LENA: Shall we move on,
Sure, let's move on.
Your Honors, I would like to go to 29-4-5.
This is the evening before Mr. Miller took the job in advertising
he was to hold until his passing.
He asked his wife to help him by playing a little game.
Do you remember, Mr. Miller.
You asked her to act the boss
so you could sharpen your tools
in order to get what he wanted.
(WHIRRING)
(BEEPING)
Do this for me. It helps.
Not now. I'm eating. Come on, do it!
What do you want me to do? Be him.
This is silly. It's not silly.
Offer me $55,000, no more.
How much do you want?
How much are you offering me?
$55,000.
I can't work here for a penny under 65. I'm sorry.
Well, I can't pay you 65.
Then I can't work here.
$58,000. 65.
59. 65.
60. 65.
61.
Let me make it plain.
I cannot take the job for under 65,
under no conditions.
Your Honors, I would like to go directly
to the next afternoon and show you the real encounter.
Daniel, I'm prepared to offer $49,000.
I'll take it.
I'm going to get you a parking place. Okay.
(BEEPS) (WHIRRING)
Why did you cave in so fast? I'm just curious.
Why did you accept so much less money than you wanted?
And do it so quickly.
Here we go again with money.
Obviously, this is all about money.
Look, I'm guilty. I didn't make enough money. Okay?
Call me a hippie. Send me to hell. I give up.
You keep thinking it's about money.
But it's about fear.
Why didn't you stand up to your boss
the way you did to your wife?
What happened in your mind?
Well, first of all, it wasn't my wife.
It was a man with a suit. And the suit had a odor.
And the odor said $49,000.
I like that very much.
So your nostrils told you you were worth less?
Is that what you're saying?
The process that a person goes through
when they're accepting a salary is a complicated one.
You don't know all my reasons.
Anyway, we lived fine on that money.
That money was fine.
If you wanna make it about money, you may do so
but we're looking at fear.
What was I afraid of?
You tell me.
49 grand is a lot of money!
I have nothing more to say at this time.
Mr. Stanley. I'm fine.
I can't believe it.
And you didn't want to toot your own horn.
Would you like to show something, Mr. Miller?
I got a raise six months later.
Well, if you'd like to show that, let us know.
Miss Foster?
Oh, Your Honors, at this time I'd like to present
a compilation of general misjudgments,
half of them fear-based, half of them just stupid.
I've assembled 164 misjudgments
over a 12-year period.
(SIGHS) (WHIRRING)
(BEEPING)
Wait! Ooh! ooh!
(HORN HONKING)
(SCREAMING) (TIRES SCREECHING)
(HUMMING)
(GARGLING)
(EXHALES)
Congratulations. Thanks.
(ENGINE REVVING)
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Whoa!
(CRASHING) (CHUCKLES)
(CAT MEWS)
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
Daniel! Hi!
All right.
Well, I can't tell you how wonderful this is. Oh.
I'm looking forward to tomorrow.
Good night, Julia. Good night.
Hi. I missed you. (CHUCKLES)
Meet Sam. Oh, hi.
Hello, Daniel. Julia has told me a lot about you.
Really? She doesn't know that much about me.
She could have fooled me.
Listen, I heard you had Dick Stanley in today.
How did you know that? Sam uses 54% of his brain.
Dick Stanley's a good man. Quiet, but excellent.
Very quiet.
Julia… See you tomorrow.
Yeah. Thank you.
Bye-bye.
So we know what we have to do.
We have to go to the past lives pavilion.
Everybody talks about it. I don't know.
Don't you want to see who you were?
I heard some people don't like it. Oh, you'll love it.
Plus, they have the greatest hot dogs there. What?
Seriously, the best hot dogs in Judgment City
are supposed to be over by the hall records.
You really love this eating thing, don't you?
To be able to eat as much as you want
and never gain an ounce and feel great? Please.
(GASPS) Oh, wow!
Look at this!
Oh, ho!
(GASPS) Come on. Let's get in line.
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
This reminds me of Disneyland.
I hope we're tall enough.
(LAUGHS)
When you were on earth,
didn't you ever feel like
you might have been other people?
Did you ever see yourself in another life?
Never. You did? (GASPS)
I think I did.
I think I might have been a heavyset man at one time.
Really? I doubt that.
You never saw yourself as anything?
Well, one time in college I got really stoned
and I stared into this mirror for two hours
until I finally saw someone who looked Chinese.
But I think it was just me squinting. (CHUCKLES)
WOMAN: Please take the first available booth on the left.
The show will begin in 30 seconds.
(TRUMPET FANFARE)
Welcome to the past lives pavilion.
WOMAN: Oh, my God!
In a moment you will be asked to place your right hand
on the plate next to you.
An image of yourself in a former life will soon appear.
When you have seen enough,
simply remove your hand from the plate.
Since we want to be fair and accommodate everyone,
you will be limited to five past lives only.
Thank you.
(DINGS)
Please place your hand on the plate now.
(HUMMING)
What the hell is this?
WOMAN: Elizabeth! Time for supper, darling.
Be there in a moment, Mumsy.
What the hell is going on here?
(GROANING)
(YELLING)
(SCREAMING)
(GROWLING)
(SHOUTS)
(LION GROWLS)
(YELLING)
(LION ROARS)
Come on, men! To the castle!
Oh! (LAUGHING)
(NEIGHING)
It's incredible!
Who are you?
I'm Prince Valiant!
Really? Yeah.
JULIA: Who are you?
Dinner.
I was a prince, I was a whaler, I was a tailor.
God! It was the most incredible thing I've ever seen.
You were a native?
Yeah, and a dressmaker, that's all I saw.
That's what, it's so weird, you were a dressmaker, I was a tailor.
Isn't that interesting? You want some?
No.
You're gonna eat the stick, too?
I can't get you out of my mind.
Tell me about it.
You know, these screenings are so tough, and yet, when I see you,
I instantly feel okay.
That's great, right?
I don't think it has anything to do with me.
That's what worries me.
I think you're doing it.
What? What am I doing?
I'm not sure.
But I always read that you had to be okay with yourself first,
before you could be okay with another person.
And I feel okay with you,
but I don't know how okay I was with myself,
before I met you.
So maybe you're making me okay.
You're not that okay.
Okay.
All right. What's the score?
(SIGHS) You're losing.
No. We're tied.
Okay. Beauty.
(EXHALES) Thank you. (GRUNTS)
You know what? You never told me how you died.
How did you die?
I don't want to talk about it.
Why?
It's embarrassing. Embarrassing?
What could be embarrassing? I was hit by a bus.
(JULIA LAUGHS)
I tripped. No.
Yes. Seriously? You tripped?
(CHUCKLES) Yes. On what?
We went to visit some friends for the weekend.
Everybody wanted to go into town,
but I wanted to stay at the house and go swimming.
So I went outside,
tripped over the chaise lounge,
hit my head on the cement, rolled into the pool.
What did the East German judge give you?
(LAUGHS)
So, seriously, did you feel anything?
Were you unconscious? Were you scared?
I was pissed.
You died pissed.
I'm still pissed. I was a good swimmer.
Well, swimming's only part of the sport.
You got to negotiate the patio furniture.
You know, in the Olympics, they're taking that part very seriously.
The Romanians are excellent at it.
If you make fun of me, I'm gonna get you.
You've already got me.
JULIA: What time do you start?
DANIEL: Early in the morning.
I don't have to start till 3:00,
so you want to have dinner tomorrow night?
Actually, I thought I'd start dating others now.
I have my eye on this 91-year-old.
(CHUCKLING)
Well, I'll be at the main entrance at 5:00.
I'll be there.
If you get there early, just come to my screening room.
You can take a look at some of my life.
I'd like that.
Okay.
So…
Good night.
So, good night.
Yeah, good night.
Good night.
You'll sleep great.
I have three boxes of candy waiting for me.
Oh, did they give you those chocolate swans?
Swans?
They're cream-filled. They're really delicious.
Swans.
No.
I think I'm just getting breath mints.
Oh…
Okay.
Good night.
Sleep well. Same to you.
Howard.
Oh, good morning. Morning.
After you.
Thank you.
Now I have no attorney.
Hmm.
Gee, that's a very, very nice outfit.
Thank you.
Do you like it here?
(SIGHS) Mr. Miller, I'll make you a promise.
When we're all through, if you still want to know about me,
I'll be more than happy to tell you.
But right now, let's concentrate on you, all right?
Good morning!
Well, well. Look who's here.
Good morning. I missed you.
How are you, buddy?
What do you care?
Oh, stop it.
You think I let you down, don't you?
Where were you? I'm just curious.
I'd tell you, but you wouldn't understand.
Don't treat me like a moron. Try me.
I was trapped near the inner circle of thought.
I don't understand. I told you.
Good morning.
Morning. Morning.
Hi. How are you?
Good morning, everybody.
Let's begin. Miss Foster, you're up.
Thank you, Your Honors.
This morning,
I would like to begin in the 34th year of life.
Mr. Miller had accepted a speaking engagement
to represent all of the West Coast advertising agencies
in a very important speech to the Ford Motor Company.
A situation where if he did well,
it could have worked wonders for his career.
Let's not make this the end of the world, okay?
May we go to 34-7-7, please?
(BEEPING)
It's packed like sardines. Are you ready?
What? I can't do it. There's too many people.
I just looked. There's too many people. I can't go out there.
You've got to. I can't go out there.
Something has happened to me.
This is way, way too many people.
I'm having horrible stage fright.
I can't go out there.
Hey, you got to go out there.
A lot of people are counting on you. Come on.
I can't do it. I'm gonna make a fool of myself.
No, you're not.
I can't do it. I can't do it.
Yes, you can. My heart is racing.
I am having some sort of an anxiety attack.
Come on. You know this stuff.
You look great. Let's go.
Peter, I can't think straight.
Now listen to me, that's too many people.
I don't want to go out there.
You have to cancel this.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Let's go quickly, you're on.
Um, he's having a little bit of trouble.
Just give us a second, all right?
Let's go. You've got a full house. It's packed.
Let's go!
Please don't make me do this.
You'll be fine.
ANNOUNCER: Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.
Would you please welcome our speaker for today?
From Foote, Cone & Belding, Mr. Daniel Miller.
(APPLAUSE)
I'll be right here if you need me.
Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please?
Nothing serious, but we have a gas leak under this room.
Ladies and gentlemen, we'd like you all to file out,
very orderly.
This is only for precaution.
(CROWD MURMURING)
(BEEP)
Your Honors,
I would have shown this day
to illustrate just how brave Mr. Miller is.
With all the paying and panic and confusion going on in his mind,
he still walked out to that microphone.
He never said anything!
There was a gas leak!
Yes, but he never went back and accomplished it.
He never got up in front of a large group of people again.
Ha! Maybe he didn't want to.
Mr. Miller accepted that speaking engagement
with a great deal of excitement.
He wanted to be there.
If he had accomplished that moment,
I believe that the rest of his life would have gone
in a much better direction. I'm positive of it.
LAWYER: You're positive of it? This woman is wonderful!
The rest of his life would have gone
in a much better direction?
Just incredible.
(SIGHS)
Your Honors, I'd like to get off this scene
and move on to something that I think we'll have a ball watching.
This is damn exciting stuff.
Daniel, where did this scene take place?
I don't know what you're going to show.
Oh, I'm sorry. We're going on 31-1-9.
The snowmobile.
Oh.
Big bear.
Watch this, Your Honors.
Just dynamite.
(BEEPING)
(HUMMING LOUDLY)
♪ Where the buffalo roam ♪
(CHUCKLES)
Oh…
♪ And the skies ♪ ♪ are all cloudy ♪
♪ All ♪
Whoo! Oh, my God!
Ahhh!
Yeow!
Oh!
(GROANING)
(SCREAMING)
Ow!
Oh! Oh!
How far did you have to go for help?
About three miles.
You broke that leg in two places?
DANIEL: Yes, I did.
I'm proud of you.
(WOLF HOWLS)
(WOLVES HOWLING)
(BEEP)
With no help, by himself,
with his badly broken leg, as I've ever seen,
this man crawled three miles to get help.
You can't be serious. I'm sorry?
What did we just watch? That is self-preservation.
He didn't risk his life.
He saved his life.
Oh, I see, you're not a hero if you save your own life?
A hero? No, you're not. No.
No one here is accusing Mr. Miller
of not having a survival instinct.
We're here to see if he can overcome fear, not pain.
You don't see the fear in this situation?
What was he afraid of?
Well, how about death, for starters?
I hope you realize, Miss Foster,
it would be very hard
to be a brilliant public speaker
if you're lying dead in the snow.
Mr. Miller, for the record,
you never rode a snowmobile again, did you?
Wait a second. Not because I was afraid,
because I hated it!
You have to believe me on this.
This has nothing to do with fear. This is hate.
This is a rotten contraption, Your Honors.
First of all, it heats up like a toaster oven.
I burned the hair off my thigh
from my knee to my crotch.
Singed it right off.
Secondly, I don't know if it was the leather-seat,
or if it was lined with fur.
But years of rotting and drying out and getting wet…
Mine smelled like an old sheepdog.
Thirdly, it's very, very noisy.
They don't tell you about that.
You don't find out until about the second hour,
when you can't hear anyone.
You get off and have a snack,
and your friends are in a silent movie.
And fourth, uh…
Pardon the expression, but your balls vibrate
for three weeks afterwards.
I'm very proud of you.
Very, very good day. Very emotional day.
What are you gonna do tonight?
I'm gonna see this woman.
Julia?
How did you know her name?
Still don't get the big brain bit, do you?
I'll see you tomorrow. Feel good,
you did very well. See you.
(SIRENS WAILING)
Watch. Here it comes again.
GIRL: Mommy!
Look at her go.
(HORNS HONKING)
(DOG BARKING)
Going back for the cat is wonderful.
What kind of cat was it, Julia?
Persian.
Oh. I love Persian.
(BEEP)
I'm sorry for the delay. I just had to see that again.
Oh, that's all right. It's spectacular.
I think that's all for today.
We'll meet one more time tomorrow,
mostly for enjoyment's sake.
Let's make it around 1 o'clock.
Hi!
Great job.
Great.
Daniel, nice to see you again. How are you?
I'm fine.
Good. You have a good time tonight. Thanks.
I will see you tomorrow at 1:00? Okay.
Bye-bye.
Listen, Sam told me about this amazing Italian restaurant.
What do you say?
Very exciting stuff up there, really.
It was like watching a Mutual of Omaha commercial.
You're just jealous.
You'll never know how much.
(♫ CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)
Oh, my God!
Those portions are gigantic.
Mmm. I'm so hungry.
The residents love this place. This is supposed to be
the best resident food in the area.
Really? Good clumps, huh? Mmm-hmm.
Enjoy your meal. Thank you.
So what was your favorite food in the whole world.
Turkey with stuffing. Yeah.
Really? I couldn't eat turkey. Why not?
Well, when I was a kid I had one as a pet, and I named it.
(CHUCKLES)
And you can't eat something you've named.
I wish someone had told me that years ago.
I would have named ice cream.
Do you eat meat?
Sometimes. Not often. How about you?
I like fish.
Yeah, me, too. What kind?
Well, salmon, and I like the kind
that live near the nuclear reactors, in the rocks.
I forget their name.
(GIGGLES) Glow fish?
That's right. They'd light up your house when you cook them.
How are you? How was your screening today?
Very, very good, thank you.
Some fine wine for yourselves?
Yes, please. What's your name?
Eduardo. How are you, sir?
I'm fine.
You're going to eat a lot with us tonight?
Yes. What do you recommend, Eduardo?
You like pasta? Very much.
I'm gonna bring you three pounds of it, the best you ever tasted.
You're gonna love it.
What about you, my friend? You like shrimp?
Um, yeah.
We can make them so fresh,
they crawl up onto the plate themselves.
Aren't they high in cholesterol?
I don't know what you're talking about,
but they're high in everything.
Don't worry about it.
I'll be right back.
(LAUGHS)
Cheers.
You have a Jacuzzi in your room?
No.
You do?
No. Not in my room.
No. It's in the bathroom.
And it might not even be a Jacuzzi.
Actually, I think it's just holes in the tub.
That's very sweet. You don't have to protect my feelings.
I can take it. If you have a Jacuzzi,
I'm happy for you. (GIGGLES)
Okay. I do.
I use it every night. It's just wonderful.
I'm happy for you.
I love it. A lot of bubbles?
(GIGGLES)
Ah, here we are.
Oh, you're going to love this!
Ooh!
And you are going to love this!
Oh!
There's 30 shrimps in there
and there's 30 more where that came from!
Wow! This looks delicious.
You like broccoli?
Yes.
You like it with a lot of cheese?
Yes.
(LAUGHS) That's my girl!
What about you, eh?
DANIEL: Um, maybe just a touch.
You got it.
DANIEL: That's fine.
How many days you looking at?
Nine.
Ooh.
Do you like pie?
I love pie.
I like you.
I wanna bring you nine pies to take with you.
A pie for every day, eh?
I don't want to take any pies.
Hey, hey. It's my pleasure. Don't worry about it.
They'll keep. Don't do it.
(SCOFFS)
Dig in, eh?
All right. But don't bring me anything. This is fine.
Mmm. Great.
Good? Mm-hmm.
Oh, my God!
(GULPS)
Oh, my God.
It's unbelievable.
(WHISPERING) My prosecutor just sat down.
Look. Don't look!
I can't eat here. What are you talking about?
You're just eating dinner.
No, I'm not. I'm having 30 shrimps. I'm a pig.
Everybody eats like this here.
Yes, but everyone isn't having her watching.
She'll have a tiny resident portion
and I'm eating a fishing boat.
(LAUGHS)
How are you?
Please. Let's leave.
No. You're being silly.
You're just eating.
Okay. You're right.
That's right.
(SLURPING)
Where's that going to end?
(LAUGHS) Funny.
We're having fun. Well, that's the important thing.
(LAUGHS) See what's happening now?
This woman's looking at that.
What? This is causing
Don't look! Don't look!
Back, back! Back!
(GIGGLES)
(SLURPING)
Mmm.
Okay. Suck that up.
(LAUGHING)
(CONTINUES LAUGHING)
It's long!
Bite down now, please.
Please bite.
Bite. Bite.
We're through.
This makes me very nervous.
I'm going to go to the ladies' room.
I pray to God, when I get back,
you've changed.
Hi.
You're Daniel's prosecutor, right?
Yes.
I just want you to know I think he's wonderful.
Hi. JULIA: Hi.
What's your name?
Julia.
Very pretty name.
Martin…
What? What did I say? Nice to meet you both.
So you don't forget, I bring these to you.
Now you got nine pies in here.
You think that's gonna be enough or you want more?
I didn't want these.
Hey, you told me to make these pies.
No, sir. I did not.
You said that. No.
Yes, you did.
I have no place to put these boxes.
Please, you're embarrassing me!
You shy.
I'm going to bring you some steaks.
No steaks! No steaks!
(MOANS)
What's going to happen to you?
Did Sam tell you anything?
He said I wouldn't come back to the hotel after tomorrow.
That's all I know.
I have to tell you something.
I know you think I've got it all together.
You do!
Not quite.
One of the things I do know how to do really well
is make things work, you know.
I can take a situation and just make it okay.
I've always been able to do that.
But it's work.
And this…
This isn't.
I don't know what this is,
but it's…
Well, it's…
Effortless. (CHUCKLES) Effortless.
I know. I know.
And I've never, ever, ever had that before.
Tell me about it!
I didn't think it was ever going to happen to me.
So, great…
Where do we find it? In the pit stop.
Yeah. Thanks, God.
Well, better this than nothing, I guess.
I guess.
Want to spend the night with me?
More than anything else in the world.
Oh, good. Come on. Let's go.
Wait.
I don't think I can.
I don't think I should.
Why?
Because…
This is already better
than any sex I've ever had…
Ever.
And, I don't want to screw it up…
Literally.
How do you know what's going to happen?
I don't. I don't.
Let's say it's the most amazing thing
that ever was.
Then what am I gonna do?
By the looks of things,
we're not going to the same place,
so I'll just have to miss it forever and ever and ever?
What if it's not so good?
Then I won't be able to fantasize about it.
I love you.
Oh, Julia.
Oh…
If I had a fire scene like you had today,
I would feel differently. I'm sure.
I'd stay here. I'd never leave.
But I've been defending myself so hard these last few days,
and I just don't want to be judged anymore.
I have this wonderful feeling inside of me,
but I'm af…
I'm just tired of being judged.
It's okay.
I'm going to miss you.
I'm going to miss you so much.
I love you, Daniel.
Oh, Julia.
I'll miss you.
Oh, Julia.
Oh…
Okay. I should go.
Okay.
WOMAN: Yes, Mr. Miller?
Can you get me the Majestic Hotel, please?
Hold on, sir.
MAN: Majestic Hotel.
Yes. Julia…
My God. I don't know her last name.
Excuse me, sir?
I've fallen in love with a woman in your hotel,
and I don't know her last name.
Let's see. What's her first name?
Julia.
We have two Julias.
Both have do not disturbs on.
Can you ring through, please? It's very important.
No, sir. I'm not allowed to do that.
But it's very important.
I'm sorry, sir.
Can I leave a message, then?
I guess for both of them.
Go ahead, sir.
Tell them both that I love them more than life itself
and I've never met anybody like them
and I'll miss them forever and ever.
Is that all, sir?
Yeah. That's all.
Thank you.
(PHONE CLICKS)
DIAMOND: Has Mr. Miller overcome his fears, Your Honors?
I believe that my final summation scene
will prove to you that he has.
Mr. Miller, your middle 30s
were not particularly good for you, were they?
No.
A bad divorce left you with virtually nothing financially.
You had about $9,000 to your name, correct?
Yes, sir.
Months before your divorce,
you and your wife had purchased tickets to Hong Kong.
You were going to go together,
but after the separation, she cashed hers in.
What did you do with yours?
I used it.
He used it.
With only $9,000 to his name,
with his life in a rut,
Mr. Miller didn't do the safe thing.
He could've cashed in that ticket.
But Mr. Miller said, "The hell with it. I'm going to Hong Kong."
Now that alone in my books takes a lot of guts,
but, Your Honors, it just begins there.
Let us go to 36-9-16.
This is Los Angeles International Airport.
You're in seat 41B.
B? Mmm-hmm.
Between A and C?
Yes, it is.
I'm sitting between people all the way to Asia?
Yes, you are.
Is coach completely full?
Oh, yes.
Is there any space left in first class?
We have one seat left.
What is the price difference?
Round trip?
It's an additional $3,194.
I'll take it.
Your Honors, this man just spent ⅓ of his life savings
to be a little more comfortable.
What does that say to you?
As stressed out as he was, as crazy as his life was at that moment,
somewhere inside of him, that little boy cried out,
"I need this. Don't worry about the money. We'll get it back.
"Be nice to me!"
And he was.
Your Honors, I feel Mr. Miller is sufficiently past
the fears that would keep him
from becoming a remarkable citizen of the universe.
I wholeheartedly recommend full onward movement.
I rest.
JUDGE: Miss Foster, you're up.
Your Honors,
at this point, I would like to show my final summation scene.
Proceed.
My scene takes place not there, but here.
What?
What're we doing? We're showing something from here?
Yes, we are.
I was told we're not doing that anymore.
No one told you that, Mr. Diamond.
What are we seeing?
Something from last night.
Mr. Miller, please watch this,
and tell me what you were feeling.
Last night?
(BEEPING)
JULIA: Want to spend the night with me?
DANIEL: More than anything else in the world.
JULIA: Good. Come on. Let's go.
DANIEL: I don't think I can. I don't think I should.
JULIA: Why?
If I had a fire scene like you had today,
I would feel differently. I'm sure.
I'd stay here. I'd never leave.
But I've been defending myself so hard these last few days.
And I just don't wanna be judged anymore.
I have this wonderful feeling inside of me,
but I'm af…
I'm just tired of being judged.
You genuinely feel for this woman, don't you, Mr. Miller?
Yes.
Why didn't you stay with her last night?
I was afraid.
A little louder.
I was afraid.
I rest.
Well, this is a new one on me.
Have sex with somebody and move right on.
Is that the way it works, Miss Foster?
I don't think you're being very understanding
about the world Mr. Miller just came from.
It's filled with problems you no longer have.
Deadly diseases, confusing identities, changing attitudes.
How do you know Mr. Miller he wasn't worried about getting a disease?
Were you worried about getting a disease, Mr. Miller?
I didn't think she had a disease.
You didn't think. But you didn't know.
We're getting off the point.
We've never been near the point!
You're getting him both ways.
When he's courageous and follows it up
with something you don't like, you show the follow-up.
When there aren't any follow-ups,
you blame him for not having any.
This is an example of something he wanted to do
and he didn't because he was afraid.
And this was just last night.
DIAMOND: May I tell you what I think we just watched here?
I think we just watched a man who was caring
of another human being's feelings.
He didn't know what this experience would do to her,
so he was careful.
You blame him for this. I praise him for it.
You call it fear. I call it thoughtfulness.
To be caring about someone else's feelings.
I'm sorry, but I hope we all can have that quality.
Thank you.
Mr. Miller, your final summation, please.
(SIGHS)
Well, I think it was thoughtfulness.
And I would like to say something about this disease.
Your Honors, I didn't think
that Julia had a disease,
but you must understand that right now on earth,
they're filling our heads with all these terrible things.
They keep telling you over and over
that you're not just sleeping with one person.
You're sleeping with everyone they've ever slept with.
Now that I've been to the past lives pavilion,
that could be 20,000 to 30,000 people.
(CHUCKLES)
As far as the rest of my life is concerned,
I truly believe I turned the corner.
I know I had a few fears left,
but I was taken very young.
I feel I could have conquered them.
So if you see fit to let me move forward,
I promise you I will do the best I can.
I'll work very hard, I'll do whatever is required of me.
I'll do the best I can. Honestly. I will.
I'll do the best I can.
Is that all, Mr. Miller?
Yeah.
But please just know that I'll…
Do the best you can?
Hmm.
Good.
That's all, everybody. Thank you.
It was nice to meet you. Good luck.
Well, that's it. Let's go back to my office and wait.
We'll know in 30 minutes.
Judgment's in.
It's early.
Is that good?
Not good or bad.
They don't waste any time.
They must need the hotel space.
So what do you think of our fair city?
We do a pretty good job here.
How was that Italian restaurant?
What does it say?
You're going back.
Can I say something?
Just because they're sending you back,
doesn't mean that they're right.
They can make a mistake.
You shouldn't let others get to you like this.
Just follow what's in here.
Come on. I'll take you to the station.
MAN: (OVER PA) Trams 7 and 8 to onward destinations.
This is something. I never get over it.
The organization is amazing.
All these different trams going to
all these different places.
WOMAN: (OVER PA) All tunnels now operational.
These are yours,
your boarding card, your various I.D. pieces,
all the things you're going to need.
You're not going to remember any of this.
So don't worry.
You won't kick yourself forever.
Take the opportunities when they come. Okay?
WOMAN: Passengers going back to earth,
please board trams on your left.
Passengers moving onward, board trams on your right.
Well, this is it.
Good luck, kid.
I've got a lot of faith in you.
FEMALE ATTENDANT: I can take that here, sir.
There you go. You keep those, and follow the yellow line.
WOMAN: All trams now operational.
MALE ATTENDANT: I'll take those, sir.
MAN: Trams 7 and 8 to onward destinations,
final boarding, please.
Right here, sir.
WOMAN: All personnel, please prepare for departure.
JULIA: Daniel!
Daniel!
Julia!
Daniel!
Julia!
(ALARM SOUNDS)
What the hell are you doing?
Sit down right now. You're gonna hurt yourself.
(SECOND ALARM SOUNDS)
Aah!
(HORN HONKS)
Julia!
Daniel!
Julia!
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES) (SCREAMS)
Aah! Daniel!
I love you! Oh, my God.
I tried to call, but I didn't know your last name.
I won't let you go! I won't let you go!
Help! Help!
Whoa!
Aah! Hold on!
Hold on. Just please hold on. Hold on.
I love you.
Open this up!
Damn it! Open it up!
JULIA: Please, open the door!
Julia! Wait for me!
Brave enough for you?
JULIA: Please! Open the door, please!
DANIEL: Julia!
(INAUDIBLE)
Julia!
Let him go.
(APPLAUSE)