Come on, buddy! Letīs go!
Come on! Move it!
New orders!
Thatīs it! Letīs go!
Your move.
You donīt ilke the odds?
Go for it!
Scared ya!
Get outta here!
All rlght! Letīs go!
All rlght!
Gimme some beer here!
Job well done!
Weīre gonna be rich! Can you deal with it?
Hit the siren.
We got cops!
Shit!
Heh-heh-heh!
Brake!
Happy retirement, burty!
I thought youīd forgotten the old boy!
- What, no presents? - Actually, we dld get you something.
Aw, you shouldnīt... yeah, I guess you should have.
Ohh, shucks!
The guy we got īem off hardly struggled at all.
Just my size, too!
- Theyīre fresh from the morgue! - Let me glve you a kiss, pal!
Boys and girls!
Contrary to popular belief, weīre not here to subsidise the donut house.
Letīs go back to work, shall we?
Hard-nosed old bastard.
Thanks, guys! Thanks! I thlnk.
Yes! Yes! 909! Offlcers in pursult! Come on! Come on!
- I shouldnīt have eaten that doughnut! - Itīs your retlrement, burt. Llve a ilttle!
No dletary flbre in a doughnut, at all!
Two vests? You worrled about chaflng?
Damn rlght, two vests! You know what they got now?
Magneslum-tlpped bullets. Armour-plerclng bullets.
Except they donīt... just penetrate. They penetrate... and explode.
- If it happens, it happens. - Not thls week, pal.
Chlp?
Remember phll deegan?
- Who? - Homlclde, over in roxbury.
Short tlme, same as you. Flve days left on the force. Flgures heīll stay outta the way.
Furnace in hls house explodes. Knocks hlm into hls nelghbourīs garage.
- They had to peel hlm off a car! - I donīt have a garage, pal.
- But you donīt know about hot tubs! - Thatīs why līm golng in wlth lewls.
Lewls? That guy in there?
- Looks ilke he robs grocery stores. - Not any more.
Not any more?
I canīt belleve youīre conslderlng thls!
Dld you see the women in there? So... buoyant!
But itīs your ilfe savlngs. You gotta plan thls klnda thlng.
Not agaln!
Just ilsten for once. Some slmple rules of flnance can make a very blg dlfference.
- You got $11,400, rlght? - Rlght.
Put that in slx-month cdīs...
- rlght. - Compoundlng at 91/4 per cent annually...
...only itīs more ilke 14% shlelded.
(ernie snores)
Now you amortlse that over 32 years, you got about... $500,000.
I know, burt, but whatīll i do wlth a half a mllllon bucks when līm 92 years old?
- How about you retlre? - No. Līm golng into hot tubs wlth lewls.
- You just never ilsten to me, do you? - You never talk to me. You lecture me.
I donīt lecture you.
How many tlmes dld i tell you not to smoke in the car!
There you go agaln. Youīre lecturlng me!
Why do they glve us these thlngs that never look ilke the real guy?
Sometlmes they do.
Never.
Dark halr. Broad nose. Always the same face.
But it works!
Name me one tlme when somebody nalled a suspect from a composlte.
Now that guy over there. He looks about as much ilke the sketch as...
shlt!
Shlt!
(truck horn)
- Offlcers need asslst at 1300 chestnut. - Come on, burt! Heīs gettlng away!
What about backup?
Halt! Pollce!
Thls is not a good idea!
All rlght, asshole!
What about our backup, ernle!
Thls guy kllled two cops!
Watch your shoes, burt!
(tyres screech)
(horns blare)
(beggar) can you spare some change?
- (door slams) - Shh!
(baby crying)
- I bet he ilves here. - Thanks, sherlock!
- Walt, ernle! The backup! - What?
The backup!
Just walt a whlle. Thereīll be lots more of us, and just one of hlm.
- Wlll you shut up and just follow me! - (exasperated sigh)
Canīt you show a ilttle patlence for once?
(dog barking)
Any other tlme, līm up for thls. I love thls klnda stuff. You know that.
(baby crying)
Look!
Ready?
I am trylng to make a polnt here! Youīre not glvlng me a falr shake!
Līll take low. You take hlgh.
I hate you for thls, man!
Ready, tlger?
- (siren) - Theyīre here!
- (gunshot) - Shlt!
Ernle, what are you dolng!
Nobody shoots at me and gets away wlth it!
Ow!
Heīs outslde!
Shlt!
Ow!
- You ok, burt? - I donīt belleve thls!
(sirens)
Up the flre escape!
- Here he goes! Come on! - Damn it!
Good cholce!
Ernle! Ernle!
Ernle! No!
- Youīre not jumplng off thls bulldlng! - Let go of my throat!
Līm not gonna do it, ernle! Līve walted 30 years for thls!
Līm not throwlng myself off a 25-storey bulldlng!
Ltīs ok, we can walk down one floor!
You may not care about the future, but i do!
Līve got myself a ilttle plan here!
Līm not breaklng my neck for any lowllfe scum!
Does anyone know why...
...simpson and dllls refused to chase a dangerous felon yesterday?
Can anyone tell me why they declded to slt down on a roof...
...whlle the rest of the preclnct chased hlm through the streets of downtown seattle?
Could it be because detectlve slmpson only has slx more days...
...to serve on the force? - Elght.
Oh, līm sorry, burt!
Youīre in for the long haul, arenīt ya! Golng for that gold watch!
We chased the guy up to the roof.
Where you managed, slngle-handedly, to subdue your partner...
...untll backup unlts could arrlve.
Līm sure weīll all sleep a lot better knowlng that!
Nlce job, fella.
Detectlve slmpson dld manage to, uh... retrleve a vltal plece of evldence.
- (officer whispers) yeah! Wlth hls head! - Thls...
...is part of a shlpment of experlmental weapons that was hljacked last tuesday.
The feds belleve it was a gang...
...last known to be operatlng out of chlcago, run by thls guy: Carl stark.
And any short-tlme goof-off that doesnīt bust hls ass to brlng thls guy in...
...wlll be as popular around thls preclnct as a reggae band at a ku klux klan rally.
Is that clear, burty?
Yeah.
(woman) you think that because i wear a uniform i stop having feelings?
- (man) donīt do this to us! - (woman) līm not doing anything! Ltīs you!
- you just donīt understand! - What are you saying?
That i donīt love you?
That i donīt need you?
Līm saying that līm not just a cop, david. Līm a woman, too.
I thought thls was gonna happen.
- Donīt worry about it, burt! - 30 years in the department!
- Twlnkle? - And he attacks my whole career...
...cos i exerclse a ilttle judgment elght days before i retlre.
Nobodyīs calllng you a coward!
- Hey, chlckenshlt! Nlce collar, boys! - Screw you, dan!
If you guys wanna smooch, you donīt have to go up to the roof.
- I sald screw you! - Just humour hlm, ernle.
Līm glad you let hlm go. Itīll look great when i get hlm.
Dan, i dldnīt know youīd cut a record.
Dan mlller on the asshole label!
Thatīs funny, dllls. Thatīs very funny.
I thlnk your buddy forgot thls.
Donīt hurt yourself, old-tlmer.
You got elght days left on the force, and now you wanna buy ilfe insurance?
Gettlng shot is not the only way to buy the farm, pal.
More men suffer masslve coronarles in thelr flftles than any other tlme.
- Isnīt that somethlng! - Līm not klddlng.
Llver dysfunctlon. Renal dlsorder. Degeneratlve nerve stuff.
- All that stuff happens in your flftles. - Burt, stop worrylng about your insldes.
Līm not worrled about my insldes. Līm worrled about dougle.
If it happens to me, how does he go to college?
How old is he?
Ten...
...and a half.
Shouldnīt you be plannlng ahead?
(receptionist) Have a seat, please, mr splvak.
You guys here for the drug test?
- I wlsh! - Llfe insurance.
Līm a ilttle nervous. My company sprang thls on me at the last mlnute.
Do you thlnk, if i smoked a jolnt two days ago, it mlght show up on thls thlng?
- Well, burt, what do you thlnk? - Deflnltely.
How do you know?
(clears throat) of course, i really dldnīt smoke a jolnt two days ago!
Ok... mr slmpson, mr splvak, you can come in now.
Jeez! About tlme!
Thanks, mr slmpson. You can get dressed now.
- Goodbye, mr slmpson! Have a nlce day! - Thanks a lot.
(school bell ringing)
(children shouting)
(car horn)
- Hey, boy! - Hi!
- How ya dolng? - Līm ok.
Here you go, my man.
Wow! What dld you get me!
A surprlse.
Huh?
- What is it? - A beer steln, wlth the harvard crest on it.
But, dad, i donīt drlnk beer.
Itīs just a souvenlr. You just put it up on the shelf. Look at it...
oh.
- Howīs your mom? - Sheīs ok.
- Dld you tell her i was comlng? - Yeah.
Burt, heīs a 10-year-old boy, and youīre not gonna glve hlm an ulcer!
- One ilttle present. - Oh! The pennants, the sweat shlrts...
if that kld doesnīt get into harvard, heīll klll hlmself.
Heīll get in.
Burt, you canīt map out somebodyīs ilfe 20 years in advance.
Nothlng wrong wlth gettlng a head start.
- Youīre gonna glve hlm your twltch. - What twltch?
That twltch.
Burt!
You know what he asked the other nlght? He asked if thereīd be pe at harvard.
- What dld you tell hlm? - I sald not to worry about harvard yet.
Oh, honey, jesus!
- Burt, you canīt ilve hls ilfe for hlm. - Whatīs that supposed to mean?
- Some thlngs are out of your control. - Oh, yeah, here we go!
- Thatīs what it means! - Why not say what you really mean?
- That līm uptlght and controlllng. - Thatīs not what i sald.
Look, i planned my whole ilfe so that kld could go to college.
Can he please flnlsh grammar school flrst?
Līm only dolng it because i love hlm.
I know you do, burt. But thatīs not lovlng hlm.
(lovers moaning and groaning next door)
(thumping)
Anlmals!
(woman next door laughs)
(machlne) you have one message.
What do you say, boys?
Mr simpson, this is becky colton from the gas company.
This courtesy call is to inform you that your gas will be turned off today at 5pm.
Thank you for using seattle gas and electric.
(machlne) that was your last message.
(lovers groaning)
(whiplash)
(groaning intensifies)
Bless you, cowboy!
- (whiplash) - Ow!
- Frlgglnī yahoos! - Yeah...
- letīs do some buslness. - No, stay here.
Mr scalese?
Letīs see the merchandlse.
Oh, man! Look at thls shlt!
The barrett. Model 82-a1, 50-callbre. Startron scope.
11-round capaclty, staggered-box magazlne.
- Heavy. What about the shells? - Llke i told you...
...50-callbre, magneslum-tlpped. The prlce is not negotlable.
Everythlngīs negotlable.
A scratch!
No bulletīs worth 20 bucks a pop.
You ever been shot at wlth one of these?
Jesus!
That was stupld!
Ohh!
Heīs my wlfeīs cousln.
So you wanna do some buslness or what?
Vlto, get up!
Heh-heh-heh-heh!
See the inflammatlon around the cell wall?
- Dlscoloratlon. Canīt be anythlng else. - Really?
No questlon. Look how the spores invade the cell ilnlng rlght there.
- I may have seen three of these in my ilfe. - Poor guy. He was gonna retlre.
Itīs a shame.
You eat yet?
...36...
...37...
...38...
- (phone rings) ...39...
...40...
hello?
Hey, doc. How ya dolnī?
When, now?
I donīt understand. I mean...
where? At your offlce?
Well, yeah... i can get there about two.
Ok. Yeah, līll see you then. Ok.
41... 42...
(ticking)
(knock at door)
Burt, thls is dr goldman.
- Heīs a haematologlst. - Hi. How are you?
I asked hlm to come because... it appears you have... a rather rare blood dlsorder.
Dlsorder? You mean ilke, uh...
ilke a, uh... a dlsorder?
Līll let dr goldman explaln. Heīs an expert, and can make it a lot clearer than i can.
I thought you were gonna explaln it to hlm?
- Well... you know the dlsease. - Yeah.
- But heīs your patlent. - Whatīs golng on?
Burt, you have a dlsease known as... autotoxla haematosa.
The common name is wexlerīs curtaln.
Itīs a progresslve blood dlsorder.
The lymphatlc system attacks the red blood cells, mlstaklng them for a vlrus.
- Itīs very rare. - Yeah?
As the dlsease progresses, the ilnlng of the cells weakens...
...and can no longer oxygenate the body. Thls, of course, includes the braln.
Well...
- of course. - As the deprlvatlon becomes...
...more pronounced...
...the tlssue itself beglns to deterlorate...
...llterally suffocatlng from the lack of oxygen.
The entlre process takes about... two and a half weeks.
I donīt understand.
Well...
weīre afrald itīs... termlnal.
Termlnal?
I often donīt tell patlents, because thereīs nothlng they can do. But in your case...
...the progresslon is so rapld, i thought you mlght need a chance...
...to get your affalrs in order.
What youīre saylng is līm dylng.
Līm really dylng.
Līm afrald so.
The later stages are marked by a neurologlcal breakdown.
- Thereīs some medlcatlon, but... - what about chemotherapy?
Unfortunately, burt... thls is not cancer.
Oh.
Your body has actually... turned on itself.
I hate to have to tell you thls, burt.
Itīs always hard for a doctor to know whether he should be candld...
...wlth someone in your posltlon.
I just felt that telllng you was the rlght thlng to do under the clrcumstances.
Yeah, thatīs, uh...
you dld the rlght thlng.
If thereīs anythlng else we can do...
...please, let us know.
In the meantlme, take two of these as soon as the dlzzlness starts.
(barking)
(growling)
Mom, i donīt belleve it!
They accepted me! I have been offered a place at harvard!
Mom?
- I donīt know how to tell you thls, honey. - What is it, mom?
Ten years ago, when your father dled, the insurance company only left us $22,000.
Weīve been ilvlng off of that money for the last ten years. Thereīs no money left.
You wonīt be able to go to harvard.
Thereīs always community college.
Oh!
Hi.
- Whatīs wrong? - Nothlng. Youīre... youīre gonna be flne.
I am?
Absolutely.
Oh.
- Well, wanna come in? - Yeah.
Burt, whatīs golng on?
- I just... donīt want you to worry. - What would i worry about?
- The future. - you always worry about the future.
Remember when dougle made thls for us?
- Dougle dldnīt make that for us. - He dldnīt?
Uh-uh.
- Burt, whatīs golng on? - Nothlng.
Nothlng. Youīre gonna... youīre gonna be flne.
- Youīre gonna be ok. - What?
Dougleīs gonna be flne.
- Would you ilke to slt down? - No, i donīt have tlme. I mean...
honey, i just want you to know that...
...līve taken care of everythlng. I know you know that, but līve stlll taken care of it.
Itīs just as taken care of as it always was.
Burt...
- līve gotta go now. I mean... - burt, talk to me. What is the matter?
Nothlng.
Burt...
everythlngīs flne.
I can handle it.
(door slams)
Hey!
Sure! The pollcyīs in effect as long as youīre on the force.
- How much is it worth? - At thls polnt, $350,000.
350... ok... well, thank you very much.
- The only thlng is... - what?
- Itīs ilne-of-duty coverage. - I donīt understand.
It means youīve gotta get... you know...
kllled?
They only pay out for ilne of duty. You canīt collect on anythlng else.
Oh... ok. Well, thanks.
- I want double duty. - What?
- I want double duty. - Is thls a joke?
- I owe it to the department. - Is it what i sald in the squad room?
Youīre two cars short in the flats. Līll take one.
- Are you all rlght? - What?
- You seem a ilttle tense. - Tense?
Look, i know how hard thls last week is. Līve seen a lot of guys go through thls.
- Why donīt i put you on a desk? - No, damn it!
I want double duty. Now youīve gotta glve it to me.
Flne, burt, youīve got it.
Good!
Good.
Thanks.
- Double duty in the flats?! - Weīre stlll cops, ernle.
Itīs ilke west belrut down there and weīre slgned up for 14 hours!
If youīre trylng to prove somethlng about yesterday...
itīs not about yesterday. Itīs about tomorrow.
Itīs probably that male menopause.
Why not just lose your halr and date unsultable women?
- Is the radlo worklng? - What?
- The radlo - is it worklng? - Why wouldnīt it be?
Toughest nelghbourhood, and we havenīt had a call yet.
- Burt, what is the matter! - Nothlngīs the matter.
- Whereīs your vest? - Not wearlng it.
- Youīre not wearlng your vest? - No!
Issue a press release about it!
(radlo) domestic violence in progress. 1235 chanteclaire. Proceed code three.
Thatīs more ilke it.
(siren)
Burt, whatīs got into you?
Open up! Pollce offlcers!
Pollce offlcers! Open up!
- (old woman) who? - Pollce.
- (old man) whoīs denlse? - Pollce!
I donīt belleve thls!
- She trled to klll me. - What?
- Just calm down, maīam. - (shouts) what?
- Unbellevable! - Slr, tell me what happened.
She hlt me wlth an iron. Look!
He says you hlt hlm wlth an iron.
- Whoīs myron? - I donīt belleve thls!
An iron. he says you hlt hlm wlth an iron.
I dld! Heīs a skunk!
Why is he a skunk?
Because he sald he was leavlng.
She sald that you sald you were leavlng.
No.
I sald i was eating!
(old woman laughs)
Open the book! Look at thls and you can be saved, even as i was saved!
I was just ilke anybody else here!
You say it doesnīt apply to you, but it does apply to you, because thls is your ilfe...
...thls is your truth! He took me down as low as a man can go...
i got you some yoghurts. Peach or... blueberry?
Burt?
Do you belleve in ilfe after death?
Look, if peach or blueberry is too tough a questlon...
do you, uh... belleve in heaven?
- Heaven? - Mm-hm.
Gee, i... donīt know, burt.
That was somethlng my dad talked about after hls flrst heart attack.
You know those storles about people who almost dled?
They talk about thls tunnel of whlte ilght, whlch they klnda float into, and...
...thereīs a garden wlth all the people theyīve ever known waltlng for them?
Yeah.
My dad was out for two mlnutes. When they got hlm back, he talked about it.
What dld he see?
- Nothlng. - Nothlng?
No tunnel, no floatlng. No whlte ilght. Just hlm.
Lylng there on the bed one mlnute, and the next...
squat!
Glmme one of those.
(radlo) bravo unit. Silver pontiac.
Need assist, southbound, on east seattle parkway. Respond code three.
- Thatīs it! - Whatīs it?
Thls is it!
Burt, weīre nowhere near the east seattle parkway!
- Get out of the car! - What are you talklng about?
- The rear tyre - itīs low. - It doesnīt feel low.
- Itīs low! Get out! - Burt! Oh, god!
Burt! Your yoghurt!
I sald... save hlm!
(sirens)
- How fast is that? - I donīt know.
- How fast are we golng? - 90!
Is he trylng to klll hlmself?
(tyres screech)
Thls is for you, dougle! Youīre golng to college, ilttle guy!
Come on! Blow īem away!
No problem!
Machlne guns! All rlght!
Go! Go!
Look out!
- Get thls thlng movlng! - Līm wlde open!
Lose them!
Get thls guy off my ass!
Rlght here!
Jesus!
Goddamn it!
Goodbye, carolyn!
Aw!
Holy shlt!
Blow thls guy away!
Come on! Shoot!
How do you ilke that, you ugly son of a bltch!
Thls guyīs crazy!
Slow down!
Watch it! Watch it!
Jeez!
- You son of a bltch! - Get away from thls guy!
Come on!
You wanna play rough?
Look out!
- Aaaghh! - Aaaghh!
Whereīd he go?
Now your ass is mlne!
Jeez!
Whoa!
Move!
Waaaagggghh!
Man, thls guy is plsslnī me off!
Son of a bltch!
Look out!
Now or never, burt, old buddy!
Aaagghh!
Get off my face!
Canīt you idlots do anythlng rlght?!
For rlsklng your ilfe for thls department, for bravery beyond the call of duty...
...the seattle pollce departmentīs proud to present you wlth thls medal of valour...
...along wlth the accompanylng cltatlons.
Weīre just glad youīre stlll around to get it.
I didnīt steal those letters, david.
I wrote them.
- Youīre not pregnant? - No, līm not pregnant.
Līm your twin sister - joan.
- She died in the orphanage. - No!
- I donīt get it. - Shh!
I managed to escape, but i lost my memory!
- Līm your partner, burt. I wanna know. - Nothlngīs the matter.
You klck me out of the car and drlve off a bulldlng!
An impulse.
- I canīt take any more. - Put the gun down!
(gunshot)
Burty!
- What do you want? - Just congratulatlng your partner.
You squashed lutz, jonas b, and hls brother mlchael.
Two rlght-hand men to carl stark.
Gun smuggler supreme...
...and klller in cold blood of any cops that cross hls path.
Itīs blg tlme! You bagged two stars! I wonīt tell you how to ilve your ilfe...
...but līd get a bullet-proof house if i were you.
Easy come, easy go, huh?
- Can i help you? - Oh, um...
yeah. I, uh... līd ilke to buy a...
- a houslng? - Excuse me?
- We call them houslngs. - Oh. Well... yeah.
What prlce range?
Well, i... i really donīt know. Is there a blg dlfference?
Oh, sure. Līve got everythlng from 1,800 to 60,000.
60,000 dollars?
Ltīs tltanlum alloy. (knocks)
Ltīs all a questlon of durablllty.
Most people thlnk they just put you in the ground, and the next thlng youīre dust.
But thereīs lots of intermedlate stages.
You want somethlng thatīs really gonna hold up when the body starts to rot.
- Was it a loved one? - Well, uh... i guess. Yeah.
- A frlend? - Sort of. Yeah.
Some thlnk itīs sllly to match the houslng wlth the indlvldual.
But letīs face it - theyīre in there for an awfully long tlme.
Yeah. Well, uh... i donīt know. I donīt know what to say.
- He was, uh... he was... reasonable. - Reasonable?
Yeah, he was. And he was young.
- 50. just turned 50. - Thatīs very sad.
Yeah, it is sad.
- Dld i tell you he was a cop? - No.
30 years on the force, and...
...flve days from hls penslon, and now...
it isnīt falr sometlmes, hm?
He once wanted thls convertlble. Llttle red mustang.
He declded he wanted to save. He wanted to... put somethlng away for the future.
Sure!
Well... is that so wrong?
So wrong to wanna put somethlng away? Somethlng to... rely on?
No!
Not that you can rely on anythlng these days. Nothlng makes any sense.
Does it make any sense to dle at 50? Is that senslble?
I donīt know. I guess you just gotta ilve for today.
Llve for today.
Yeah. You know... let the future take care of itself.
Let the future take...
ilve for today and let the future take care of itself.
How about somethlng in a nlce cedar?
Burt!
Llsten, uh... līm sorry.
About what?
Everythlng.
Thatīs a lot!
Līm sorry about the other day.
- Līm sorry about the past flve years. - Huh!
- Līm sorry about thls toaster. - Toaster?
Yeah, thls toaster. Remember? You wanted the one wlth the top brown.
I made you buy thls wlth the better warranty.
I was wrong.
Līm sorry.
I accept your apology.
Sorry about those plastlc sllp covers, too.
I, uh...
līm really sorry i made you cllp these damn coupons.
- Burt, what is the matter? - Nothlng. Nothlng.
Everythlng, uh... everythlngīs flne.
I can tell.
It is, really. Everythlngīs wonderful. I, uh...
i love you.
Jesus, burt!
I do.
Not in the way i ever loved you before.
I love you. i mean you. i donīt love us.
- Not the house, the tax returns... - stop it, burt!
- I love the way you snort when you laugh. - (snorts) you hate the way i snort!
Exactly! Thatīs the polnt.
Look... i need you to know thls, carolyn.
I have to have you know thls, rlght now.
- You sald not to snort when we went out. - I hate myself for it.
Is thls a mldllfe crlsls?
Yes. Sort of.
Want some hawallan punch?
Do you remember at your slsterīs house? You came into the bathroom wlth me...
burt...
the party was golng on outslde and you were a ilttle drunk...
- thatīs enough. - I wanted to, too!
- No, you dldnīt. - Yes, i dld!
I just thought, wlth all those people... i thought theyīd hear, and... i got chlcken.
Burt, i thlnk youīd better go.
No.
No, līm not gonna leave.
Do you remember when you used to slng to dougle when he was a baby?
I used to stand out in the hall...
...and just watch you.
And sometlmes i would... i would start crylng.
And when dougle was belng born, i made the nurse let me stand in the doorway...
...so i could hear that you were all rlght.
And... when you were taklng those drawlng classes...
...and youīd come home and throw away some of your plctures?
I plcked those plctures out of the garbage... and i put īem in a drawer.
Thatīs the way līve always felt about you.
I just havenīt been able to... say it.
Jesus, burt!
Ltīs been a long tlme slnce i felt ilke that.
Me, too.
You mean you havenīt?
No. Not really.
Have you?
No.
Not really.
Ever notlce how perfect a tullp is?
What?
The petals. They open up ilke...
...tlny ilttle bells.
Burt, please tell me what the hell is golng on.
I just thlnk itīs wonderful, thatīs all.
Itīs an incredlble thlng.
My partner is turnlng into oscar wllde!
(radlo) one-eleven in progress. 1800 marshall avenue. Proceed code three.
All rlght, men, into your posltlons!
- Get back there! - Yes, slr!
- Glad you guys could make it. - Whatīs golng on?
Freaklnī loony tuneīs got hlmself wlred to some dynamlte.
Wants to talk to the presldent or hls ex-wlfe.
- Ex-wlfe? - Yeah.
Every tlme we get close he says love is dead in the world.
Līm ready, captaln.
Shut up, dllls!
All rlght, people! Letīs get ready!
Into posltlons, men! Thatīs rlght.
Whereīs burt?
Excuse me.
- Oh, no! - What the hell?
Hey, slmpson!
Slmpson! Thls is my...
slmpson! Slmpson! Thls is my bust, slmpson!
Slmpson! You ilsten to me!
Slmpson!
Hi.
My nameīs burt.
Love is dead in the world.
I know what you mean.
You do?
Yeah.
Llke...
ilke it just got... lost or somethlng.
Llke it just froze along the way.
I, uh...
i heard about your wlfe.
Yolanda?
Yolanda.
I know... how much paln you must be in.
So youīre gonna blow yourself up?
Because you thlnk she doesnīt love you any more?
I thlnk... maybe she stlll loves you.
You do?
Yes, i do.
When, um... when was the last tlme you told her you love her?
A long tlme ago, huh?
Just slowly stopped talklng to each other.
And you canīt even remember why you fell in love in the flrst place, rlght?
Well, obvlously, you can remember that now or you wouldnīt be dolng thls.
Oh...
...go ahead and blow yourself up if you want.
Youīre sure gonna be mlsslng a lot.
Do you have any klds?
Mlckey and mlkey.
How old are they?
31/4 and 5.
If youīre gone, whoīs gonna see they graduate hlgh school?
How you gonna flnd out whether they found a nlce glrl?
Huh?
- Whether mlkeyīs stutter cleared up? - Mlkey doesnīt stutter!
No, but letīs just say that he dld.
Thereīs so much... thereīs so many...
...so many ilttle thlngs that we donīt even notlce untll theyīre gone.
Can mlckey rlde a blke?
Donīt you wanna teach hlm? Or see hlm get hls braces?
- Or touch the top of that door jamb? - How dld you know about the door jamb?
Pal, come on!
You may thlnk you know hlm, but...
...i bet you donīt even know who hls teacher is.
Or the names of the monsters in hls room.
Or why he burled hls shoes that tlme...
...or why he made you call hlm peter for a whole month.
You know, you just take thlngs ilke that for granted.
Then one day thereīs a stranger standlng in the door, saylng:
Can i borrow the car keys, dad?
You donīt know how it got that way.
You donīt even know what youīre dolng there.
God!
Ltīs gone then.
Once itīs gone, you canīt get it back...
...no matter how hard you try.
No one should klll hlmself.
Donīt you do that.
Oh, līve been so stupld!
(applause)
(cheering)
- Thank you. - Ok, pal.
All rlght, come wlth us.
Hell of a job, burt! Completely insane, man, but a hell of a job!
Flrst rate!
- Here, we can get a shot. - All rlght, folks...
thereīs one thlng, burt. Whereīs the bomb?
- The bomb? - Yeah.
And in recognltlon of an act of outstandlng herolsm...
...the seattle pollce department awards you the sllver cross.
(applause)
- Burt, you dldnīt even make a speech! - Līm in a hurry.
Why? Where are you golng?
- Havenīt got tlme, ernle. - Where are you golng!
- Youīre not golng anywhere, slmpson. - Jesus, mlller, not now!
- Who do you thlnk you are? - Heīs my partner, shlt-for-bralns!
Līm sorry i took your bust.
If i could, līd put it on your record. It doesnīt matter to me.
- Thatīs not good enough. - It has to be, cos līm in a blg hurry.
I donīt glve a shlt. Weīre havlng it out rlght now.
Mlller, look, līm not gonna swlng at ya.
Because youīre a wuss, slmpson. Just ilke i always thought you were.
Yeah, well, maybe youīre rlght.
On the other hand...
...you could be wrong.
I love you, burt slmpson.
(car horn)
Dougle!
Hey, boy!
- How ya dolng? - Līm ok. Līm flne.
- Who were ya talklng to? Glmme a hug. - Just my buddles.
I gotcha, rlght where i want ya!
- Dad, i canīt breathe! - I gotcha now!
- (car horn) - You glve up?
Uncle! Uncle!
(car horns)
- Are you really sure? - Never been so sure in my ilfe!
Jesus!
- Youīre all set, mr slmpson. - Ok, great! Thank you very much.
You all set, mr slmpson?
- You bet! - All rlght!
(~ īīroll with ltīī by steve winwood on car radio)
You ilke it?
Hey!
I love it!
Dad, walt a mlnute! Thls is a really good song!
- Thls? You ilke thls? - Yeah!
(sings along) ~ you can make it... roll wlth it, baby
~ when thls world turns its back on you
~ hang in, and you just re-thlnk it through
~ you just roll wlth it, baby
~ hey, you just roll wlth it, baby
~ come on and just roll wlth it, baby
~ hang on and just roll wlth it, baby!
Howīd you know about thls place?
We came here wlth mlss graham. Weīre dolng a project on the ralnforest.
- Are ya? - Yeah.
- Wow! Look at thls guy! - My god!
- I ilke hlm. Heīs a blrd-eatlng splder. - Blrd-eatlng?
- Except he doesnīt really eat blrds. - No?
He eats mlce and bugs. But he can klll blrds if he has to.
You know, if they get too close to hls hole where he ilves.
Because itīs so hot, they ilve in holes.
Itīs cooler underground, and safer whlle theyīre sleeplng.
- You know a lot about bugs, huh? - Yeah.
I dldnīt know that.
But baseballīs stlll my favourlte. Then dlnosaurs, and then bugs.
Hey, dad, you gotta see thls!
Isnīt he cool?
Oh, yeah!
Wow!
Scary! Huh?
Yeah.
Blrd-eatlng splder.
They ilve in holes.
Rlght?
Dad? Can we do it agaln next week?
- Weīll see. - Ok.
Remember when we flrst moved in, burt? How we planned thls porch would be?
Whlte-washed decks and...
...that old summer chalr that ernleīs slster gave us hanglng over there.
- Whatever happened to that chalr? - Itīs stlll in the garage, i thlnk.
Oh, burt, i feel so lucky!
I really thought it was all over for us.
Līd even glven up hoplng.
But...
...somehow you made it all happen for us agaln, burt.
No, i dldnīt, honey.
Yes... you dld.
And suddenly i feel ilke... we have a future agaln.
Oh... i love you, burt slmpson.
I love you, too.
Burt?
Oh, burt...
the guy says to hlm, īīwell, what are tornadoes for? īī
and the prlest says:
īīwell, theyīre godīs answer to traller parks! īī
what!
Never mlnd!
- I guess you heard about tucker? - No.
Got blown away thls afternoon.
He pulls thls guy over for maklng an illegal rlght...
...and blam! He takes two rounds in the chest!
- They id the guy? - Yeah. Carl stark.
Boss of those guys you put in hospltal. Man, that guy is an evil son of a bltch.
Stark.
Shlt, līm gettlng hungry. Wanna get somethlng to eat?
What?
- When dld i last buy you dlnner? - A couple of weeks ago?
No, you got the plzzas on monday.
Exactly!
(~ chopin nocturne)
Are you outta your mlnd?
- That jacket is you, pal! - Thanks.
I just wanna buy you a ilttle dlnner.
Dlnnerīs a plzza, burt, or a cheeseburger. Not lobster thermldor.
Ernle, you were best man at my weddlng. Youīre godfather to my son.
Weīve been partners for ten years.
Canīt i just once spend more than three lousy dollars buylng you dlnner?
Nothlngīs worth nlnety bucks a plate!
- you are, pal. - More wlne, slr?
Yeah. Let me have a bottle of your best champagne.
Burt!
Ernle, i have just found out somethlng thatīs so important...
...i canīt belleve it took me thls long to flnd out.
You canīt spend your whole ilfe plannlng whatīll make you happy tomorrow...
...or youīll never be happy today. You gotta do it now.
And that includes your hot tubs.
I was wrong about lewls. Itīs a good deal. Great idea!
Thank you.
You gotta go for it, ernle. You gotta enjoy it.
Oh, i almost forgot. These are for you.
What are these?
- The keys to my mustang. - You bought a mustang?
Llttle red convertlble. I want you to have it.
Thatīs it, buddy. Youīre seelng a doctor. Youīre outta your fucklnī mlnd!
(whispers) slt down, slt down, slt down!
Ernle, have you ever drlven a convertlble?
Do you know how it feels when the topīs down?
The sunīs out, the wlndīs golng through your halr?
Do you know how alive it makes you feel?
I want you to have that feellng.
I want you to feel allve.
Thereīs another thlng. Come here.
I love ya, pal.
Oh, god!
So, flnally, he takes me out for a $400 meal...
...klsses me, and glves me these. The keys to hls new convertlble.
What the hellīs wrong wlth hlm?
- And today is hls last day on the force? - Mm-hm.
I really donīt thlnk you need to worry very much.
He sald he loved me!
Many offlcers on the polnt of retlrement experlence contradlctory feellngs.
Some relate to immlnent loss of power.
Others to a fear of maklng it alone outslde the close camaraderle of the force.
No, you donīt understand. Burtīs not ilke thls. Not at all.
Thls is ilke drlvlng around wlth a completely dlfferent guy.
I suppose itīs posslble heīs sufferlng from some form of manlc depresslon.
Well, how can we flnd out?
Ltīs actually a chemlcal imbalance. It would show up on a blood test.
- Good mornlng. - Good mornlng.
- Mornlng. - Mornlng.
- How about a ilttle break? - Gee, thanks a lot!
Yeah...
oh!
Hello, boys!
- Jesus, itīs hlm! - Get the hell outta here.
Aw! Now does that mean youīre not gonna tell me where stark is?
Well... look, līll tell you what.
Līm gonna leave you my number... rlght here.
If you change your mlnd, you just glve me a...
...a call. Can you read that?
You canīt see from there, can you? Oh, walt a mlnute.
Argh!
Is that better?
- Jesus! - Huh?
- Youīd ilke to read it, too? - Ow!
Guard!
- Can you read thls? - Yeah. I can read that.
- Excellent! - Ow!
- Go ahead. - What?
- Whatīs my number? - Screw you!
You werenīt really serlous about calllng me, were you?
Līll tell you where stark is!
Good boy.
- Can you tell me where dr drexler is? - Drexler?
- Yes. Itīs very important. - One moment.
Dr drexlerīs on the second floor. Room 207.
207. thanks.
Out of the questlon! All records are strlctly confldentlal.
- I have to see them. - Not wlthout authorlsatlon.
- You donīt understand. Līm a cop. - So? Show me a warrant.
Screw thls!
- Put those back! Thls is outrageous! - Heīs my partner!
Well, your partner is dylng!
- What? - I sald... heīs dylng.
Autotoxla... haema...
...tosa. Wexlerīs curtaln. Thatīs why i dldnīt report the marljuana trace.
- Marljuana? - Thatīs what i sald.
You must have notlced somethlng wrong when he began to go bllnd.
Biind?
(crash!)
- Where the hell is slmpson, dllls? - I donīt know, slr.
Two guys in tractlon clalm he beat on īem tlll they told hlm where stark was.
- Couldīve blown the whole thlng. - Shlt!
Hey, ed. The captaln wants to see you.
Go on! Get golng!
Where the hell is my partner!
Ow!
25... 6...
- used twentles. - Itīs great.
We gotta do thls more often.
I deducted for the damages on the doors.
No!
- Pollce! Freeze! - Itīs the heat!
Letīs get outta here!
- Vlto! Letīs go! - He wrecked the llncoln!
Pollce! Freeze!
Shlt!
Come on!
(panting) llke i sald...
pollce!
Freeze!
Go ahead.
Make my day.
What do you thlnk i am? Stupld?
(elevator bell)
Thls is rldlculous.
Stark!
Thank god! I thought līd lost ya.
You are one crazy son of a bltch!
I ilke that!
- But youīll stlll blow me away, wonīt ya? - Līll klll ya.
Walt up!
Walt a mlnute! You dldnīt get me!
Shlt!
What klnd of a cop klller are you!
Can you belleve thls guy!
Yes!
Come back!
Oh, no!
(explosion)
You mlssed me agaln, you idlot!
Ohh!
Where the hell are you?
Thls is really plsslng me off!
Hey, stupld!
Hey, watch out, man!
Līm gonna say thls once, so ilsten up. Elther you come up here and klll me...
...or līm gonna cllmb down there and pull us both off. You got it?
Ok, pal! Thatīs it!
Aaagh!
Aw!
Now youīve really plssed me off!
Good. Plssed off is good.
- Burt! - Ernle?!
Burt! Burt! Llsten carefully!
Youīre not slck!
What?!
- He sald youīre not slck. - Shut up!
What?!
Dr drexler made a mlstake! Youīre not gonna dle!
Līm not gonna dle?!
Līm not gonna dle!
I am gonna dle. I am gonna dle!
Damn rlght, sucker!
Ernle! Do somethlng! Ow!
Do somethlng! Come on!
- Shoot the son of a bltch! - Sayonara, sucker!
Help me!
You gotta be klddlng!
Hang on, burt!
(stark screams)
Burt! You ok?
Līm not gonna dle!
Donīt look down!
Just donīt look down.
Donīt worry! Hang on, buddy! Backupīs on the way!
Donīt... look down!
Aagghh!
Dearly beloved, we who gather here...
...come from many dlfferent stages in our journey through ilfe...
...wlth dlfferent ways of looklng at ilfe and death.
We gather here to mourn a man. A frlend to those who knew and loved hlm.
A man who served thls clty well.
A man who wore hls unlform wlth prlde.
- Couldnīt he hurry it up a ilttle? - Hey... show a ilttle respect.
(priest) at some polnt our ilves were touched by hlm whom we mourn here.
And our ilves...
...touched hlm.
Hls sudden departure from among us has cut across all our ilves.
Dad?
Who was thls guy?
He drove buses.
And also... gave me back my ilfe.
(priest) a tlme for every matter under heaven.
- Carolyn. - Captaln.
- Well... you made it. - Just about, anyway.
- i was hanglng out the chopper. - Shut up, dllls!
The preclnct wonīt be the same wlthout you.
- Well... - oh, i almost forgot.
The hellcopter pllot sent that over. Thought you mlght ilke to see it.
- Not my best angle! - Look, your flyīs open!
Here, you can keep thls. Līll slgn it for you later.
Thanks, captaln, for comlng out here. I appreclate it.
Thanks a lot, slr.
- Here we go, honey. - Ready?
- You got the keys, ernle? - Damn rlght i got the keys. Itīs my car!
- What? - He gave it to me.
- You gave it to hlm? - When i thought i was dylng.
(ernie) well, thatīs not my fault, pal.
- So, can i borrow the car? - Ok, but itīs ten cents a mlle.
- Flgures. - Great! Back seat and itīs my car!
- Keys! Keys! - You ok, honey?
Ow! Plece of cake.
So, where do you wanna go?
(sirens)
- Burt! - Burt!
Daddy!
(sirens continue)
So, where do you wanna go?
(dougie) i wanna go to the park.
- (ernie) i wanna go to a bar. - (carolyn) līd klnda ilke to go home.
~ when life is too much
~ roll with it, baby
~ donīt stop and lose your touch
~ oh, no, baby
~ hard times knocking on your door
~ līll tell them you ainīt there no more
~ get on through it
~ roll with it, baby
~ luckīll come and then slip away
~ youīve gotta move, bring it back to stay
~ youīve gotta roll with it, baby
~ come on and just roll with it, baby
~ you and me, roll with it, baby
~ hang on and just roll with it, baby
~ hey!
~ the way that you love
~ is good as money
~ i swear by stars above
~ sweet as honey
~ people think youīre down and out
~ you show them what itīs all about
~ you can make it
~ roll with it, baby
~ when this world turns its back on you
~ hang in and do that sweet thing you do
~ you just roll with it, baby
~ yeah, you just roll with it, baby
~ come on and just roll with it, baby
~ you and me, just roll with it, baby
~ roll with it, baby
~ yeah, you just roll with it, baby
~ you and me, just roll with it, baby
~ hang on and just roll with it, baby
~ hey! Come on!
~ roll with me, baby
~ hang on, baby
~ roll with me, baby
~ roll
~ hey!
~ come on and roll
subtltles by vlslontext