1 00:02:54,600 --> 00:02:56,795 Honey, jiggle the handle. 2 00:03:03,196 --> 00:03:04,914 Can't we get that fixed? 3 00:03:04,979 --> 00:03:07,614 After our down-payment, we've got about eight dollars left. 4 00:03:07,849 --> 00:03:09,720 All right, then we'll jiggle. 5 00:03:12,821 --> 00:03:16,221 Mark. Whoa, Mark. 6 00:03:17,125 --> 00:03:19,973 - We have to go to work. - I am working. 7 00:03:20,833 --> 00:03:22,669 Are you sure you want to do this? 8 00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:26,770 I never realized living in an apartment was so inhibiting. 9 00:03:27,461 --> 00:03:29,870 All these walls are ours. 10 00:03:30,479 --> 00:03:32,766 Makes me want to go out and buy handcuffs. 11 00:03:35,362 --> 00:03:39,558 - I love this house. - Oh, I can't believe we got in. 12 00:03:39,580 --> 00:03:41,600 There was only a five-minute dip in the market. 13 00:03:41,612 --> 00:03:44,072 And you were right on top of it. 14 00:03:44,698 --> 00:03:46,390 - You know what I want to do? - What? 15 00:03:47,091 --> 00:03:49,591 I want to buy one of those big, vulgar televisions. 16 00:03:49,598 --> 00:03:53,145 Oh, yeah, and those tacky, pink flamingos for the lawn. 17 00:03:53,246 --> 00:03:54,946 Are those pink flamingos deductible? 18 00:03:54,957 --> 00:03:56,952 We can deduct that shit out of everything. 19 00:03:56,953 --> 00:04:01,291 Oh, oh, Mark, oh... 20 00:04:10,980 --> 00:04:12,915 - Oh, rats. - What? 21 00:04:12,916 --> 00:04:15,316 Well, these are all postmarked three weeks ago. 22 00:04:15,468 --> 00:04:16,624 Did you call the post office? 23 00:04:16,636 --> 00:04:18,855 Yes. I called the post office. I sent forms, 24 00:04:18,856 --> 00:04:22,256 I sacrificed small animals in front of the mailbox. 25 00:04:22,539 --> 00:04:25,621 - Who do you know in New Jersey? - I do not know. Let me see. 26 00:04:25,770 --> 00:04:27,983 - Is it an old girlfriend? - Could be. 27 00:04:29,205 --> 00:04:31,418 Oh, wait. It's my cousin Fred. 28 00:04:32,222 --> 00:04:33,367 You never mentioned a "Fred". 29 00:04:33,368 --> 00:04:35,768 Oh yeah, sorry. "Ever Ready Freddy"? Come on. 30 00:04:36,353 --> 00:04:40,145 Hey, guess what? He and his wife want to spend their vacation with us. 31 00:04:40,157 --> 00:04:41,897 That sounds fun. When? 32 00:04:43,463 --> 00:04:44,550 Today. 33 00:04:51,329 --> 00:04:54,263 Are you sure they wouldn't be more comfortable in a hotel? 34 00:04:54,275 --> 00:04:57,270 Jessie... It's just house guests. 35 00:04:57,567 --> 00:04:58,841 It'll be fun. 36 00:05:01,242 --> 00:05:02,042 Bye. 37 00:05:03,444 --> 00:05:06,409 Oh, I do not know, Mark. It sounds like a disaster to me. 38 00:05:06,421 --> 00:05:08,496 Oh, come on, Wes, we're talking five days. 39 00:05:08,531 --> 00:05:13,045 Yeah? Chernobyl only took 5 minutes, pal, and it didn't come into LAX at rush hour. 40 00:05:13,098 --> 00:05:14,164 This is family. 41 00:05:14,165 --> 00:05:15,765 - Good morning, Pepie. - Good morning, Mark. 42 00:05:15,798 --> 00:05:18,259 - Has the Grindle meeting started yet? - Just now. 43 00:05:18,260 --> 00:05:19,660 I give it three minutes. 44 00:05:19,694 --> 00:05:23,773 - What are you talking about? - Markisson is going to woof it. 45 00:05:23,969 --> 00:05:25,765 - Busted his ass on this. - Oh yeah? 46 00:05:25,766 --> 00:05:29,216 Right now he is asking everybody to turn to page 6 in their prospectus... 47 00:05:29,223 --> 00:05:31,114 I changed my mind. One minute. 48 00:05:31,230 --> 00:05:34,900 - What's wrong with page 6? Mark? - Morning Lory, copy those, please. 49 00:05:34,901 --> 00:05:35,601 Mark? 50 00:05:35,619 --> 00:05:38,693 Right now he is suggesting a major investment in Slaughter Security. 51 00:05:38,770 --> 00:05:40,892 - So? - So, Grindle caught his second wife... 52 00:05:40,893 --> 00:05:43,393 in the merger mode with one of their junior executives. 53 00:05:43,493 --> 00:05:45,263 - Forget it! - Bob, I'm sorry. 54 00:05:45,264 --> 00:05:47,064 Now I know we can work something out here. 55 00:05:47,107 --> 00:05:49,781 - We can explore... - Nobody explores with my ass, Brooks. 56 00:05:49,782 --> 00:05:51,282 Bring around my car. 57 00:05:51,468 --> 00:05:52,228 Bob, please. 58 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:55,055 12 percent growth with companies that don't sleep with my wife. 59 00:05:55,147 --> 00:05:57,042 It is a simple thing to ask. 60 00:05:58,104 --> 00:06:00,670 - I can get you that, Mr. Grindle. - Who the hell are you? 61 00:06:00,671 --> 00:06:03,371 - Mark Bannister, sir. - He's one of our brightest, Bob. 62 00:06:03,417 --> 00:06:05,348 Now I know, sir, Martensen was somewhat adventurous. 63 00:06:05,349 --> 00:06:09,556 But I guarantee you I can build you a portfolio that's not only conservative, 64 00:06:11,857 --> 00:06:12,857 but aggressive. 65 00:06:13,034 --> 00:06:15,737 You'll be earning 14%, in three months. 66 00:06:15,949 --> 00:06:16,954 14? 67 00:06:20,099 --> 00:06:23,821 Okay, last chance. Amaze me. 68 00:06:25,678 --> 00:06:28,656 I want your suggestions for a new portfolio on my desk by closing... 69 00:06:32,065 --> 00:06:34,762 I can't believe you want to get in bed with Bob Grindle. 70 00:06:34,774 --> 00:06:36,111 I'm not going to wind up like Markisson. 71 00:06:36,123 --> 00:06:39,940 - And Croft and Gervitz... - I am in complete control. 72 00:06:42,632 --> 00:06:46,424 Jacob, do you want a timeout? Go sit in the car and wait for me. 73 00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:49,411 Excuse me, what's your secret summer fantasy? 74 00:06:49,546 --> 00:06:50,946 Chloroform. 75 00:06:52,650 --> 00:06:54,121 A date with Tom Cruise. 76 00:06:54,503 --> 00:06:55,729 A date with Tom Cruise... 77 00:06:56,412 --> 00:07:00,474 Enemy space people come down in this big space ship 78 00:07:00,475 --> 00:07:02,875 and eat my mom and dad. 79 00:07:02,895 --> 00:07:05,095 What's your secret summer fantasy? 80 00:07:05,114 --> 00:07:07,285 If you've got a question, Los Angeles, let me know. 81 00:07:07,297 --> 00:07:08,680 I'll find the answer. 82 00:07:08,758 --> 00:07:10,391 - Karen? - That was Jessica Bannister, 83 00:07:10,403 --> 00:07:13,541 our question girl. Thanks, Jessica. 84 00:07:13,854 --> 00:07:18,194 Coming up next, some hot ideas on how to stay cool. 85 00:07:18,195 --> 00:07:19,195 Clear. 86 00:07:25,986 --> 00:07:26,886 Oh, Jessie? 87 00:07:29,548 --> 00:07:30,791 Hi Russel, what's up? 88 00:07:34,001 --> 00:07:37,879 I'm... I'm thinking about trying you out on the Eight o'Clock Report. 89 00:07:38,392 --> 00:07:39,676 That's great! 90 00:07:39,688 --> 00:07:43,475 But it's a harder news hour, so we'll have to toughen your image a little. 91 00:07:43,566 --> 00:07:45,976 Oh, I can do that. I think I can work on that. 92 00:07:46,077 --> 00:07:48,977 - I'd like to go over some questions. - I can do that. 93 00:07:49,068 --> 00:07:50,072 What? 94 00:07:53,937 --> 00:07:55,696 I can't believe I put off Russel Fenn, 95 00:07:55,697 --> 00:07:57,997 when he wanted to talk to me about getting me my big break. 96 00:07:58,174 --> 00:08:01,093 I'm sorry, I just wanted us to make the in-person airport gesture. 97 00:08:01,105 --> 00:08:02,986 I know you didn't mean it, it's okay, I'm fine. 98 00:08:02,987 --> 00:08:03,887 Thank you. 99 00:08:04,339 --> 00:08:07,770 Wait till you get a hold of this guy he used to have girls hanging all over him. 100 00:08:08,322 --> 00:08:09,422 Is that him? 101 00:08:11,144 --> 00:08:12,044 No. 102 00:08:16,167 --> 00:08:18,350 Here comes a good-looking guy. Is this him? 103 00:08:18,351 --> 00:08:20,051 No, he's too young. 104 00:08:20,111 --> 00:08:24,742 - Well, you look that young. You do. - Well, thank you. 105 00:08:38,888 --> 00:08:39,887 Fred? 106 00:08:40,322 --> 00:08:42,149 - Pudge? - Pudge? 107 00:08:45,763 --> 00:08:49,698 - Hi. How are you? - God, it's great to see you. 108 00:08:53,811 --> 00:08:55,512 - It's my wife, Bernice. - Bernie. 109 00:08:55,513 --> 00:08:58,213 - Hi. Hello. - Hi. Oh, we're family. 110 00:08:58,751 --> 00:09:01,195 You know, I've heard so much about you. 111 00:09:01,478 --> 00:09:04,356 - Hi there, I'm Jessie. - Hi. 112 00:09:04,466 --> 00:09:07,827 She looks just like a movie star, doesn't she? 113 00:09:07,828 --> 00:09:12,480 - Much better. You see our TV's... - Honey they don't want to hear about our TV. 114 00:09:12,567 --> 00:09:14,675 Tell them the big news. 115 00:09:15,628 --> 00:09:17,423 - We're uh... - Pregnant! 116 00:09:17,835 --> 00:09:19,767 That's great, congratulations. 117 00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:21,968 Well, we do have something to celebrate then. 118 00:09:22,046 --> 00:09:23,338 The TV station that Jessie works for 119 00:09:23,339 --> 00:09:25,739 is just about to give her a very big promotion. 120 00:09:25,816 --> 00:09:28,316 And Mark got a major assignment this morning. 121 00:09:28,756 --> 00:09:30,247 I just got canned. 122 00:09:32,121 --> 00:09:33,360 Let's get the luggage. 123 00:09:33,374 --> 00:09:35,065 - Oh yeah, there's another one. - I got it. 124 00:09:35,066 --> 00:09:37,766 The decorative lid. They were out of zebra. 125 00:09:39,553 --> 00:09:41,305 Whoa, what have you got here, bowling balls? 126 00:09:41,306 --> 00:09:42,206 Uh, yeah. 127 00:09:55,755 --> 00:09:58,060 Yes, wait. Move everybody out. 128 00:09:58,061 --> 00:10:00,731 That's the one, move everybody out! 129 00:10:00,752 --> 00:10:05,757 Baby, you made it. Yeah you did, little one. 130 00:10:05,991 --> 00:10:08,893 Come on, boy. Come on. 131 00:10:09,094 --> 00:10:12,394 Did your little ears explode? 132 00:10:12,414 --> 00:10:14,570 Fred, you didn't mention anything about a cat. 133 00:10:14,582 --> 00:10:17,358 Scruffy Bannister, meet your cousins. 134 00:10:17,436 --> 00:10:20,324 Mark and Jessie. 135 00:10:21,994 --> 00:10:25,964 Oh no, no, no. It's an inexpensive dress really... 136 00:10:26,025 --> 00:10:27,959 - You're okay, aren't you? - No. 137 00:10:39,487 --> 00:10:42,649 Is this terrible heat bothering you? 138 00:10:42,750 --> 00:10:45,350 You don't look so good, Baby. 139 00:10:45,445 --> 00:10:48,901 So, Fred. What did you do before you got laid off? 140 00:10:49,313 --> 00:10:51,863 I worked in a sewage treatment plant, Pudge. 141 00:10:52,146 --> 00:10:53,999 You know, the best part about that whole job was 142 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,500 that I would keep any goodies that came down the pipes. 143 00:10:57,146 --> 00:10:58,651 Sounds, uh, great. 144 00:10:58,752 --> 00:11:03,952 Yeah, one time I found a genuine snakeskin wallet with $80 in it. 145 00:11:04,930 --> 00:11:06,522 Had to clean it up though. 146 00:11:08,495 --> 00:11:10,678 I can't believe this traffic. 147 00:11:10,687 --> 00:11:14,766 - Oh my God, Scruffy's going on the run. - Don't let him get under our seat. 148 00:11:14,801 --> 00:11:16,089 God, he looks nauseous. 149 00:11:18,690 --> 00:11:19,990 What the hell? 150 00:11:20,010 --> 00:11:22,291 I'm so sorry, Scruffy's never been carsick before. 151 00:11:22,292 --> 00:11:23,492 It's in my ear. 152 00:11:23,493 --> 00:11:26,093 Look, the windows are stuck, he has puked... 153 00:11:28,933 --> 00:11:31,091 I can't believe that that stomach could hold so much. 154 00:11:31,092 --> 00:11:33,592 A little Club Soda will take that right out. 155 00:11:37,193 --> 00:11:38,893 Go play, hon. 156 00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:49,467 Oh, earth tones. Hides the dirt. 157 00:11:50,284 --> 00:11:53,132 Well. Welcome to L.A. 158 00:11:53,798 --> 00:11:56,338 - Yeah, it's... - What? 159 00:11:56,539 --> 00:11:58,639 - Nothing. - No, no, no, no, no. What? 160 00:11:58,740 --> 00:12:00,640 It's a little small. 161 00:12:00,998 --> 00:12:04,556 - Smaller than we pictured. - Awfully small. 162 00:12:05,790 --> 00:12:08,061 Come on. I'll show you your room. 163 00:12:08,444 --> 00:12:09,948 Well, here we are. 164 00:12:16,436 --> 00:12:18,584 Bernice? Is this okay? 165 00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:22,815 Oh sure. I mean I don't mind sleeping on a... tofu... 166 00:12:23,316 --> 00:12:25,116 if the baby doesn't. 167 00:12:27,855 --> 00:12:31,137 I cannot believe you gave them our bedroom, Mark! 168 00:12:31,538 --> 00:12:37,182 - Our little haven of privacy. - I'm sorry. But she is pregnant after all. 169 00:12:37,682 --> 00:12:39,922 It's obviously been a little rough on Fred too. 170 00:12:40,683 --> 00:12:42,609 I don't know, maybe this was a bad idea. 171 00:12:42,631 --> 00:12:44,549 You see the guy in there? He's a wreck! 172 00:12:44,750 --> 00:12:48,550 Like some sort of pod-version of the Fred I grew up with. 173 00:12:49,462 --> 00:12:53,694 - Mark, it is only for five days. - That's right, it is. 174 00:12:53,705 --> 00:12:56,967 And they are trying to be nice. I mean Fred gave us these watches. 175 00:12:57,176 --> 00:12:59,177 Cartiers, I can't believe he could afford them, 176 00:12:59,178 --> 00:13:01,578 he just lost his job fishing stuff out of the sewer. 177 00:13:11,861 --> 00:13:14,366 I'm sorry we lost touch like that, you know? 178 00:13:14,774 --> 00:13:15,984 - Hey! - What? 179 00:13:16,185 --> 00:13:17,785 "Polar Bear Squad" 180 00:13:17,993 --> 00:13:20,489 - Okay. - Ready? 181 00:13:28,342 --> 00:13:31,490 All right. Can't run from them forever. 182 00:13:43,756 --> 00:13:44,657 What? 183 00:13:46,027 --> 00:13:48,253 Well, we're family, right? 184 00:13:48,531 --> 00:13:50,789 So I'm just going to come on out and ask you. 185 00:13:51,240 --> 00:13:54,411 Your nose. How much did it cost? 186 00:13:54,554 --> 00:13:56,590 - What? - Oh, come on. 187 00:13:56,591 --> 00:13:58,991 I saw that nose in Cosmo. 188 00:13:59,298 --> 00:14:01,651 Yeah, I know you all do it out here, that's fine. 189 00:14:01,752 --> 00:14:04,052 Bernice, I did not have my nose done. 190 00:14:04,273 --> 00:14:06,369 Right. Sorry. 191 00:14:08,917 --> 00:14:10,700 You don't have to be ashamed of me, Hon. 192 00:14:10,701 --> 00:14:13,501 It's only the trained eye of a beautician that can see that. 193 00:14:13,826 --> 00:14:18,127 You know, we got this great guy in Trenton, Dr. Nick. 194 00:14:18,128 --> 00:14:19,828 I've been thinking of getting it done myself. 195 00:14:19,849 --> 00:14:23,880 Honestly, maybe just a little bob, you know, something to lift my eyes up, show my teeth. 196 00:14:24,159 --> 00:14:26,450 Cute. Excuse me one second. 197 00:14:26,485 --> 00:14:28,803 Yeah, my cousin Ronda went to Dr. Nick. 198 00:14:28,804 --> 00:14:32,204 Got a free set of Ginsu knives and her old nose in a jar of formaldehyde. 199 00:14:32,277 --> 00:14:34,564 - I'll get us a couple of fresh ones. - Okey-dokey. 200 00:14:35,569 --> 00:14:37,339 I think I know what's wrong with Fred. 201 00:14:37,740 --> 00:14:40,240 Hey Pudge, remember the Oboikski twins? 202 00:14:41,104 --> 00:14:42,405 "Pudge"? What is this "Pudge" deal? 203 00:14:42,406 --> 00:14:43,906 - Why does he call you "Pudge"? - Nothing. 204 00:14:43,956 --> 00:14:46,218 - Why do you call him "Pudge"? - Nothing. 205 00:14:46,919 --> 00:14:48,393 Nothing. 206 00:14:51,198 --> 00:14:52,580 - Is that you, sweetie? - Yes. 207 00:14:52,581 --> 00:14:55,181 - Oh my God! - Hey Pudge. 208 00:14:55,907 --> 00:14:58,211 Horizontal stripes... 209 00:14:58,833 --> 00:15:00,120 Which one are you, Fred? 210 00:15:00,121 --> 00:15:03,021 - I believe I'm off the camera here. - See him blow the thing in my face. 211 00:15:03,222 --> 00:15:07,522 - How many reels of the stuff did you bring? - A couple dozen. 212 00:15:08,723 --> 00:15:10,623 You're a barrel of laughs. 213 00:15:13,505 --> 00:15:14,366 Hey. 214 00:15:17,367 --> 00:15:21,967 I'm sorry. My God, did you ever do anything but eat? 215 00:15:22,528 --> 00:15:24,332 Well apparently not. 216 00:15:27,076 --> 00:15:29,151 You know when you told me that you were big for your age, 217 00:15:29,152 --> 00:15:31,452 I thought you meant you were tall. 218 00:15:33,834 --> 00:15:38,834 - Oh, God, what are you doing? - Mark you have breasts. 219 00:15:39,143 --> 00:15:40,883 Oh, it's a game we used to play. 220 00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:43,491 Macy's Thanksgiving Parade. 221 00:15:50,810 --> 00:15:54,015 I'm going to get something to drink. All right? 222 00:15:56,767 --> 00:15:58,658 Grab a snack while you're there. 223 00:16:39,356 --> 00:16:42,369 All right. Strike three, he's out of there. 224 00:16:43,570 --> 00:16:46,770 Hey Pudge. Never lost that old pitching arm, huh? 225 00:16:49,879 --> 00:16:53,988 Rise and shine, lazy bones. We got a big day ahead of us. 226 00:16:55,336 --> 00:16:56,436 We do? 227 00:17:03,808 --> 00:17:05,633 Hey, watch the vulva. 228 00:17:08,195 --> 00:17:11,895 - It's not working. - Stop jiggling, I'm kind of gassy. 229 00:17:11,922 --> 00:17:14,422 - Fred, he's going to drop her. - No more. I feel sick. 230 00:17:18,352 --> 00:17:21,806 Graumann's Chinese. I always wanted to eat here. 231 00:17:22,289 --> 00:17:26,636 Joan Crawford. She used to beat the kids with like coat hangers. Come on. 232 00:17:29,137 --> 00:17:32,528 Oh, Fred. You're pressing on my prenatal boobs. 233 00:17:39,682 --> 00:17:42,608 Come on, squeeze in, squeeze in. All right, everybody say "trick". 234 00:17:46,653 --> 00:17:48,392 Hon, you got the traveler's checks? 235 00:17:48,731 --> 00:17:51,906 You put them in your pocket this morning. I watched you. 236 00:17:55,353 --> 00:17:59,958 - Did you call the traveler's check people? - Their machine said they're on vacation. 237 00:17:59,989 --> 00:18:01,507 They'll be back after labor day. 238 00:18:01,598 --> 00:18:05,494 You know I told him not to buy them from some guy in the Kmart parking lot. 239 00:18:05,559 --> 00:18:06,495 Good morning. 240 00:18:07,096 --> 00:18:09,296 - Good morning. - Good morning. 241 00:18:10,347 --> 00:18:11,491 What's this? 242 00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:13,044 It is an itinerary. 243 00:18:13,045 --> 00:18:16,045 You know Jessie and I aren't going to be able to see everything with you guys. 244 00:18:16,078 --> 00:18:18,405 And we don't want you to miss any of the hot spots. 245 00:18:18,731 --> 00:18:21,671 Probably take you the rest of your vacation just to see all of that. 246 00:18:21,992 --> 00:18:26,032 Geez, there's a lot of great stuff on here. But we're broke. 247 00:18:27,828 --> 00:18:29,046 Thanks anyway. 248 00:18:29,862 --> 00:18:32,616 - Here. - No, no, no, Mark. No, no. 249 00:18:32,617 --> 00:18:34,317 - Oh Fred, come on. - I couldn't, Mark, I couldn't. 250 00:18:34,318 --> 00:18:35,018 Fred... 251 00:18:35,094 --> 00:18:38,899 We'd rather spend the rest of our vacation just sitting right here. 252 00:18:39,773 --> 00:18:41,642 - We not insist. - Take my car. 253 00:18:51,304 --> 00:18:52,904 Ah, yes. 254 00:18:53,505 --> 00:18:54,724 You know something? 255 00:18:54,825 --> 00:18:57,125 That was the best $300 we ever invested. 256 00:18:58,040 --> 00:18:59,067 Mark? 257 00:18:59,568 --> 00:19:01,668 When do your cousins get back? 258 00:19:02,646 --> 00:19:04,455 Not for several hours. 259 00:20:14,564 --> 00:20:16,026 Forget it. Yes. 260 00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:19,399 Jessa? 261 00:20:19,922 --> 00:20:21,405 Oh shit, that's my sister. 262 00:20:21,406 --> 00:20:23,706 - Oh, no, no! - It's my sister. 263 00:20:24,705 --> 00:20:28,472 - Honey my clothes, hurry. - I'll get rid of her. 264 00:20:28,473 --> 00:20:29,773 The pants, the pants. 265 00:20:31,084 --> 00:20:33,515 Okay. Just tell her we're not here. 266 00:20:34,051 --> 00:20:35,355 Jessa! 267 00:20:41,751 --> 00:20:46,943 - Claudia, this is not a good time. - Kaddir kicked me out! 268 00:20:47,460 --> 00:20:48,857 Jessa! 269 00:20:57,927 --> 00:21:00,302 So then Kaddir didn't actually kick you out of the house. 270 00:21:00,303 --> 00:21:01,703 That is a matter of opinion. 271 00:21:01,767 --> 00:21:03,608 Let's put it this way: does he even know you're gone? 272 00:21:03,693 --> 00:21:06,274 He barely knows I'm alive. He cut my allowance. 273 00:21:06,315 --> 00:21:08,281 He cut her allowance, Honey. 274 00:21:09,202 --> 00:21:10,782 To what? $9000 a month? 275 00:21:10,799 --> 00:21:12,525 Makes me drive his old Jaguar. 276 00:21:12,637 --> 00:21:14,559 You know Claudia, some people have worse problems. 277 00:21:14,582 --> 00:21:17,149 - Like who? - Like people who don't have cars. 278 00:21:17,161 --> 00:21:18,326 Who cares about them? 279 00:21:18,404 --> 00:21:20,579 Yes, hello. Hi, Kaddir. 280 00:21:20,882 --> 00:21:23,113 Yes, salom back at you. Uh-huh. 281 00:21:23,125 --> 00:21:25,022 - He found your note. - I won't talk to him. 282 00:21:25,144 --> 00:21:28,597 Right, yeah. She's... He just wanted to know if you were here. 283 00:21:28,598 --> 00:21:30,398 - Why? - Why? 284 00:21:31,849 --> 00:21:33,768 To let you know he canceled your credit cards. 285 00:21:33,780 --> 00:21:36,489 What? That Middle Eastern maggot. 286 00:21:36,615 --> 00:21:38,404 - Okay. He wants to talk to you. - He can talk to my lawyer. 287 00:21:38,405 --> 00:21:39,805 The nerve of that towel-head. 288 00:21:39,916 --> 00:21:42,591 Oh, yes, she is very upset about your little love spat, Kaddir. 289 00:21:42,692 --> 00:21:44,092 Right, I... Uh-huh. 290 00:21:44,256 --> 00:21:47,217 He says he will forget everything, if you just go home and fix dinner for him. 291 00:21:47,239 --> 00:21:48,962 Oh grind some glass, Ayatollah! 292 00:21:49,374 --> 00:21:50,935 Jessie, turn down the TV, would you, babe? 293 00:21:50,936 --> 00:21:51,836 - Give me that phone. - No. No. 294 00:21:51,837 --> 00:21:55,037 - Kaddir, she's too grief-stricken right now. - Give it to me, Mark. Hand over... 295 00:21:56,023 --> 00:22:00,032 Hello Kaddir. No you listen. I cannot live on that. 296 00:22:00,033 --> 00:22:02,033 I cannot live on that. 297 00:22:02,410 --> 00:22:05,597 Do not speak Farsi to me, Kaddir. Stop it. 298 00:22:05,599 --> 00:22:07,825 All right, that's it. That is it! 299 00:22:07,826 --> 00:22:10,026 - I want a... - ...don't say it! 300 00:22:10,027 --> 00:22:12,027 - I want a... - ...nice Dega Painting in the bathroom 301 00:22:12,028 --> 00:22:13,328 - I want... - ...don't! 302 00:22:13,529 --> 00:22:15,029 A divorce. 303 00:22:21,374 --> 00:22:24,552 - Honey, wait. Just wait. - She said the D-word again, Jessie. 304 00:22:24,553 --> 00:22:27,453 - Yeah, but she didn't mean it this time. - Bullshit. She means it every time. 305 00:22:27,492 --> 00:22:29,319 She is going to a hotel, right? 306 00:22:29,501 --> 00:22:31,181 Jessie, no, we are not taking her in. 307 00:22:31,241 --> 00:22:32,048 Oh come on, Mark. 308 00:22:32,049 --> 00:22:33,349 If you can have your idiot cousin stay with us 309 00:22:33,356 --> 00:22:35,263 then we can certainly take in my poor sister 310 00:22:35,264 --> 00:22:37,464 who has been thrown out on the street without a nickle. 311 00:22:37,545 --> 00:22:40,937 Jessa? You wouldn't happen to have any good Scotch, would you? 312 00:22:56,136 --> 00:22:57,297 Put it over here. 313 00:22:59,331 --> 00:23:00,331 A little more this way. 314 00:23:04,701 --> 00:23:09,354 - A couple of days, Claudia, that's it. - As if I wanted to live in a garret. 315 00:23:09,881 --> 00:23:14,503 Now madam, if you need anything else don't hesitate... to get it yourself. 316 00:23:14,681 --> 00:23:16,069 Get out. 317 00:23:23,935 --> 00:23:25,143 I missed you. 318 00:23:29,396 --> 00:23:30,497 Mark? 319 00:23:31,698 --> 00:23:34,098 How anybody with half a brain... 320 00:23:34,493 --> 00:23:38,824 ...could drop a whole day's worth of film into the La Brea Tar Pits... 321 00:23:39,837 --> 00:23:41,386 Stop with the eeking. 322 00:23:41,387 --> 00:23:43,987 You get hit by Shamu once you think you're a porpoise. 323 00:23:45,995 --> 00:23:47,212 Jessa? 324 00:23:47,430 --> 00:23:50,769 Could you go ahead? I don't want to strain my uterus any more. 325 00:24:10,433 --> 00:24:12,815 I didn't know anybody's eyes could be that red. 326 00:24:12,916 --> 00:24:14,516 Boy, those are bulging out. 327 00:24:14,603 --> 00:24:17,078 Well what was I supposed to think? They looked insane. 328 00:24:17,179 --> 00:24:20,079 We're not insane. We're from New Jersey. 329 00:24:20,908 --> 00:24:22,387 Yeah, the Garden State. 330 00:24:27,635 --> 00:24:32,210 Deja-vu. You two have the same nose. 331 00:24:32,324 --> 00:24:34,724 They must have had a two-for-one special, huh? 332 00:24:34,925 --> 00:24:36,125 What? 333 00:24:36,132 --> 00:24:38,341 You know. At the chop-shop. 334 00:24:38,580 --> 00:24:40,750 I told that butcher not do make it too perfect. 335 00:24:40,755 --> 00:24:43,616 Oh no, wait honey, he didn't make it too perfect. 336 00:24:43,617 --> 00:24:45,600 She just has some bizarre nose fetish. 337 00:24:45,607 --> 00:24:48,303 See, he left one nostril a little bit bigger than the other. 338 00:24:48,347 --> 00:24:50,107 I had a deviated septum, I had to get it fixed. 339 00:24:50,108 --> 00:24:51,108 Excuse me. 340 00:24:51,578 --> 00:24:52,722 You know, I was thinking. 341 00:24:52,723 --> 00:24:56,823 Maybe I can interview you two for this new budget beauty book I'm trying to write. 342 00:24:56,870 --> 00:24:59,101 I'm going to call it "Pretty for Peanuts". 343 00:24:59,102 --> 00:25:01,402 - Get it? - Play with the cat, Bernice. 344 00:25:01,744 --> 00:25:05,663 - Where is Scruffy? Scruffy Bannister? - He was in the kitchen. 345 00:25:06,264 --> 00:25:07,864 It's too perky. I hate perky. 346 00:25:07,865 --> 00:25:10,565 No, it's perfect. I didn't say perky, I said perfect. 347 00:25:27,944 --> 00:25:29,343 Dear God, 348 00:25:30,344 --> 00:25:34,144 here lies the body of Scruffy Bannister, 349 00:25:34,245 --> 00:25:36,745 our beloved companion. 350 00:25:37,311 --> 00:25:40,298 $42 worth of angelfish. 351 00:25:40,446 --> 00:25:43,190 This is ridiculous. Why don't we just flush it down the toilet? 352 00:25:43,191 --> 00:25:44,891 Not our toilet. 353 00:25:46,225 --> 00:25:50,930 Why? Why do you always take the good ones? 354 00:25:57,314 --> 00:26:00,427 Sleep well, little prince. 355 00:26:24,026 --> 00:26:26,696 Mark. There's something in there. 356 00:26:27,497 --> 00:26:28,497 Mark. 357 00:26:36,558 --> 00:26:37,545 God. 358 00:27:11,010 --> 00:27:13,233 Honey, Honey! Look! The dead cat! It's alive! 359 00:27:13,245 --> 00:27:14,953 Are you all right? Are you all right? 360 00:27:17,389 --> 00:27:19,738 Whoever is down there, I'm carrying an Uzi. 361 00:27:22,499 --> 00:27:23,891 Scruffy. 362 00:27:24,500 --> 00:27:28,196 Oh, baby. It's a miracle. 363 00:27:28,979 --> 00:27:33,297 Mom is so sorry for burying you alive. 364 00:27:33,598 --> 00:27:35,498 Yes she is. 365 00:27:35,631 --> 00:27:38,249 P.U. Is that you or this kitchen? 366 00:27:41,792 --> 00:27:45,019 No, no, Anthony listen to me. Forget Tropic Core, okay? 367 00:27:45,024 --> 00:27:47,459 Orange juice stock isn't worth a shit after the cold and flu season. 368 00:27:48,068 --> 00:27:49,904 Also I noticed the collar on TNT is coming down, 369 00:27:49,905 --> 00:27:51,805 I want a thousand shares once it hits Bernice. 370 00:27:52,325 --> 00:27:53,548 Yeah, what? 371 00:27:53,949 --> 00:27:56,749 I'm sorry, no. Once it's 99. Yes, thank you. 372 00:27:57,287 --> 00:27:58,527 Um, Mark? 373 00:27:58,828 --> 00:28:01,428 Stark wants to see an update on the Grindle portfolio. 374 00:28:01,505 --> 00:28:02,809 Oh, yes. 375 00:28:07,075 --> 00:28:08,676 - Wait a second, pal. - What? 376 00:28:08,677 --> 00:28:09,777 You're shedding. 377 00:28:10,097 --> 00:28:12,781 Oh, Jesus. It's Felix the Rat. 378 00:28:12,859 --> 00:28:14,559 You know something? I opened a can of peaches last night, 379 00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:15,960 there was cat hair inside of it. 380 00:28:15,961 --> 00:28:17,961 I've been coughing up furballs for the last two nights. 381 00:28:17,977 --> 00:28:19,940 So when do you get rid of these people? 382 00:28:21,052 --> 00:28:22,143 Today. 383 00:28:22,173 --> 00:28:24,001 Oh listen, give me another hug. 384 00:28:24,013 --> 00:28:24,722 You know what? 385 00:28:24,723 --> 00:28:27,523 When the baby comes, we're going to have to all come out and visit you again. 386 00:28:27,570 --> 00:28:30,627 Or pictures. You know pictures are worth a thousand words. 387 00:28:30,678 --> 00:28:33,853 ...a little baby camera on his shoulders during the birthing process. 388 00:28:33,854 --> 00:28:35,754 But I'm going to cover up all my unmentionables... 389 00:28:35,775 --> 00:28:38,647 Oh, please do, please, honey, yeah. Bye Bye. 390 00:28:38,649 --> 00:28:41,569 I had so much fun, oh my God. I'm going to miss everything... 391 00:28:41,587 --> 00:28:45,651 - I know this wasn't easy for you guys... - Oh, no. It wasn't... Come on. 392 00:28:45,652 --> 00:28:47,952 No, Bernice can be a little handful. 393 00:28:47,959 --> 00:28:49,834 Listen, you're going to have to come out and visit us. 394 00:28:49,835 --> 00:28:51,235 We will. Really, we will. 395 00:28:51,236 --> 00:28:52,236 I'm going to show you the Turnpike, 396 00:28:52,237 --> 00:28:54,537 it's beautiful like in the spring and fall. 397 00:28:54,556 --> 00:28:56,217 - I can't think of anything... - I'm going to miss you. 398 00:28:56,218 --> 00:28:58,218 Hey, Fred, come here and say goodbye. 399 00:28:58,228 --> 00:29:00,044 Go, hon, goodbye. 400 00:29:00,045 --> 00:29:01,145 All right, Bernice, you're going to be late, honey. 401 00:29:01,146 --> 00:29:03,046 - You take care, honey. - I will. 402 00:29:07,648 --> 00:29:10,648 - I'm on... I'm on the ground. - Honey! 403 00:29:11,633 --> 00:29:13,250 Don't move your head. Don't move your head, Bernice. 404 00:29:13,251 --> 00:29:15,251 - Honey, are you all right? - Wait, wait, don't touch her. 405 00:29:15,342 --> 00:29:17,342 Quick, check and see if anything fell out. 406 00:29:17,560 --> 00:29:19,582 Oh, God, I'm going to have a flat baby. 407 00:29:20,129 --> 00:29:21,326 I'm going to call my doctor. 408 00:29:21,327 --> 00:29:26,027 No. No LA quacks. I need my real doctor. Call Dr. Jack Penix. 409 00:29:27,513 --> 00:29:29,218 Oh, my God, oh my God! 410 00:29:29,219 --> 00:29:32,519 I can feel the insides exploding. I know what I'm doing. 411 00:29:34,579 --> 00:29:37,736 Yes, Trenton, New Jersey, for a Dr. Jack Penix. 412 00:29:38,314 --> 00:29:39,818 With an X! 413 00:29:43,002 --> 00:29:45,094 Don't touch me. Get away. 414 00:29:45,129 --> 00:29:46,715 Where are you going? 415 00:29:47,867 --> 00:29:51,281 He said we need to get her to the nearest bed as quickly as possible. 416 00:29:53,260 --> 00:29:54,740 Okay. Okay, that's fine. 417 00:29:54,868 --> 00:29:57,039 No Mark. it isn't fine. She has to stay here. 418 00:29:57,217 --> 00:29:59,222 Well yes, of course she'll stay here. 419 00:29:59,787 --> 00:30:03,096 - How long? - For the rest of her pregnancy. 420 00:30:03,097 --> 00:30:04,397 - No... - No! 421 00:30:05,332 --> 00:30:08,219 - Easy, easy, easy, easy. - Oh God, oh God, oh God. 422 00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:11,415 I lost all feeling in my womb. 423 00:30:11,516 --> 00:30:12,516 Here. 424 00:30:12,884 --> 00:30:17,158 How am I supposed to stay like this for six months? 425 00:30:17,176 --> 00:30:19,350 Oh, this is just stupid. I'm going to go get my doctor, Bernice. 426 00:30:19,394 --> 00:30:23,055 No! Never. I need a man of science, not some ass-lifter. 427 00:30:23,625 --> 00:30:25,786 Whatever we do has to real cheap. 428 00:30:25,877 --> 00:30:30,356 Since I lost my job, no... medical coverage. 429 00:30:38,614 --> 00:30:41,375 Hi, Mr. Bannister. Want to bounce? 430 00:30:41,528 --> 00:30:43,437 No Katie. There are laws. 431 00:30:43,702 --> 00:30:46,401 C.K., how many times did I tell you not to play with dolls? 432 00:30:46,402 --> 00:30:47,625 Come on, go watch your sister. 433 00:30:47,637 --> 00:30:48,642 Dale? 434 00:30:48,643 --> 00:30:51,943 So what's the problem, Bannister? Espresso machine down again? 435 00:30:51,951 --> 00:30:53,351 No, No, no. 436 00:30:53,429 --> 00:30:55,660 Did you put more artichoke leaves down your disposal? 437 00:30:55,661 --> 00:30:56,861 No. 438 00:30:57,595 --> 00:30:58,843 What's the problem? 439 00:31:00,070 --> 00:31:01,639 How's that? All right? 440 00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:03,340 Lower, you ape. 441 00:31:03,361 --> 00:31:04,983 - Don't get excited, honey. - Guess what? 442 00:31:05,014 --> 00:31:07,487 - What? - I got my first period today. 443 00:31:09,753 --> 00:31:10,549 That ought to do her. 444 00:31:10,750 --> 00:31:13,920 No thanks necessary. Just name the little bugger after me. 445 00:31:13,946 --> 00:31:17,445 Yeah, Sluggo Bannister. Right. 446 00:31:19,141 --> 00:31:22,703 I feel like a human swing set here. Fred, don't touch that. 447 00:31:24,638 --> 00:31:27,356 You know I could dry-wall her into your basement. 448 00:31:27,652 --> 00:31:29,138 I'll keep that in mind, Dale. 449 00:31:35,614 --> 00:31:37,357 We never should have come, Pudge. 450 00:31:37,814 --> 00:31:39,718 Fred, stop talking like that. 451 00:31:39,797 --> 00:31:44,446 And also, please. Do me a favor. Don't call me "Pudge" anymore. 452 00:31:44,547 --> 00:31:45,347 Okay. 453 00:31:46,972 --> 00:31:49,894 "Stretch". Look at you. 454 00:31:50,103 --> 00:31:53,412 You're living the life. You've got a nice house. 455 00:31:54,113 --> 00:31:56,913 You paid a little bit too much, but it's still very nice. 456 00:31:56,934 --> 00:31:59,255 Real estate market has gone crazy out here. 457 00:31:59,496 --> 00:32:01,286 You're important at your office. 458 00:32:02,304 --> 00:32:04,417 And you've got a wonderful wife. 459 00:32:05,756 --> 00:32:06,574 Yeah. 460 00:32:09,622 --> 00:32:11,453 To wonderful wives. 461 00:32:13,884 --> 00:32:16,315 Bernice is giving me cancer. 462 00:32:17,811 --> 00:32:20,429 Would you stop talking like that. Would you listen to yourself? 463 00:32:20,430 --> 00:32:21,730 Do you know what your problem is? 464 00:32:21,807 --> 00:32:26,391 You let that woman walk all over you. You've got to stand up to her. 465 00:32:27,456 --> 00:32:29,138 What the hell happened to the Fred I knew in high-school? 466 00:32:29,141 --> 00:32:31,466 The Fred that could have any girl in the senior class he wanted to. 467 00:32:31,467 --> 00:32:33,667 When he was a freshman. 468 00:32:34,591 --> 00:32:37,983 A guy who could break up any class without even trying? 469 00:32:39,153 --> 00:32:42,993 I don't know. Somewhere between graduation... 470 00:32:43,632 --> 00:32:45,511 and the Jerry Lewis telethon. 471 00:32:46,893 --> 00:32:48,328 I just lost it. 472 00:32:54,460 --> 00:32:58,930 Hear that? Bernadette. Remember her? 473 00:32:59,631 --> 00:33:00,731 What was her last name? 474 00:33:01,452 --> 00:33:03,009 Moisecracket, Bernadette Moisecracket, 475 00:33:03,010 --> 00:33:05,110 Her father owned the battery shop outside of town? 476 00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:07,367 - Beverly. - No, Bernadette. Don't you remember? 477 00:33:07,379 --> 00:33:09,761 - Beverly. - We did the choreography for her. 478 00:33:09,844 --> 00:33:11,397 You did the... You built the dance routine. 479 00:33:11,398 --> 00:33:13,098 You started it in gym class. 480 00:33:13,579 --> 00:33:16,520 It started like this. The thrusting. The pelvis thrusting thing. 481 00:33:16,559 --> 00:33:19,221 - No. - Well come on, show me how it started. 482 00:33:19,222 --> 00:33:20,022 You thought it up. 483 00:33:20,023 --> 00:33:22,923 Get your hemorrhoids off the bar stool, come show me to it started. 484 00:33:23,812 --> 00:33:24,930 Come on, come on, come on. 485 00:33:27,931 --> 00:33:30,531 Hey! Come on. 486 00:33:35,132 --> 00:33:36,032 Yeah. 487 00:33:36,574 --> 00:33:38,692 Get it in. Get it tight. Get it greasy. 488 00:33:46,767 --> 00:33:47,858 All right, come on. 489 00:34:22,359 --> 00:34:24,359 Hey Baby, say hello to the King. 490 00:34:31,782 --> 00:34:33,483 Ready for takeoff. 491 00:34:59,590 --> 00:35:02,391 A little rusty. It took me a while to get going. 492 00:35:02,456 --> 00:35:05,617 What you have, you don't lose. 493 00:35:08,157 --> 00:35:09,257 Way to go. 494 00:35:14,445 --> 00:35:16,632 - Jessie! - What? 495 00:35:16,633 --> 00:35:17,833 - He's gone. - Who's gone? 496 00:35:17,867 --> 00:35:20,298 Fred is gone. He ran away. 497 00:35:20,493 --> 00:35:22,937 I've been abandoned. 498 00:35:23,568 --> 00:35:25,951 No wait. Now Bernice we don't know that for sure. 499 00:35:26,063 --> 00:35:30,212 I went to find the Fred Bannister I used to be. 500 00:35:30,382 --> 00:35:32,465 Where did he get that crap? 501 00:35:38,067 --> 00:35:38,867 Fred! 502 00:35:41,568 --> 00:35:43,268 Fred! 503 00:35:50,869 --> 00:35:53,069 - Fred! - Fred! 504 00:35:57,047 --> 00:35:59,838 - What did you tell him? - I didn't tell him anything. 505 00:36:00,008 --> 00:36:03,539 All I said to him was that maybe he should try standing up for himself once in a while. 506 00:36:03,616 --> 00:36:05,077 You saw what a wreck he was. 507 00:36:05,182 --> 00:36:08,348 Yes, Mark, but he was her wreck, she liked him like that. 508 00:36:08,631 --> 00:36:11,226 She craves human sacrifice, and he was it. 509 00:36:11,992 --> 00:36:13,409 Let's just call the police. 510 00:36:13,575 --> 00:36:15,883 A guy skips out on his wife, they're going to rush right over. 511 00:36:15,884 --> 00:36:17,384 Okay then let's hire a detective. 512 00:36:17,419 --> 00:36:18,632 We can't afford that, Honey. 513 00:36:18,744 --> 00:36:21,730 All right, then maybe we can talk Claudia into watching after Bernice 514 00:36:21,731 --> 00:36:22,628 while we work. 515 00:36:22,663 --> 00:36:25,484 Are you serious? Your sister would smother the woman in her sleep. 516 00:36:29,229 --> 00:36:32,561 - We should have taken care of it. - Mark! Oh, Mark! 517 00:36:32,662 --> 00:36:35,962 How the hell am I supposed to pee? 518 00:36:47,723 --> 00:36:49,819 You deal with your evil twin. 519 00:36:54,755 --> 00:36:56,835 Oh for God's sake Don't make me do this. 520 00:36:57,015 --> 00:37:00,734 Wouldn't you just this once like to handle something like an adult? 521 00:37:00,969 --> 00:37:01,760 No. 522 00:37:03,291 --> 00:37:06,460 - Pouting makes wrinkles. - Oh Jessa, please. 523 00:37:06,461 --> 00:37:10,201 I know that by the end of the week he will be in his knees begging. 524 00:37:19,728 --> 00:37:22,011 That gate was not here yesterday. 525 00:37:22,597 --> 00:37:25,116 Neither was Slaughter Security. 526 00:37:29,755 --> 00:37:31,929 Kaddir is Jessie. Kaddir? 527 00:37:32,942 --> 00:37:34,543 Kaddir, I know you can hear me, 528 00:37:34,544 --> 00:37:39,144 now it took an awful lot for Claudia to come here today and try and work this thing out. 529 00:37:39,322 --> 00:37:41,102 So I think she deserves a little credit. 530 00:37:41,103 --> 00:37:42,103 Credit? 531 00:37:44,896 --> 00:37:46,927 That's the last thing in the world she needs. 532 00:37:46,949 --> 00:37:48,889 The woman bleeds me dry. 533 00:37:48,890 --> 00:37:49,890 You want to see blood? 534 00:37:49,891 --> 00:37:52,761 You just let me in there, you two-bit desert rat, I'll slash your throat. 535 00:37:52,780 --> 00:37:55,550 You try to come in here and I'll sell you Bedouin. 536 00:37:55,551 --> 00:37:56,451 That's it. 537 00:37:56,559 --> 00:37:59,037 Don't you choke my cherub. Don't choke my cherub. 538 00:37:59,038 --> 00:38:01,438 - Kaddir, Claudia loves you. - I do not. 539 00:38:07,909 --> 00:38:10,487 Well sir, I think you can see Hydrolux is a real comer. 540 00:38:10,496 --> 00:38:13,446 They're young, but they've already got the trust of the State Department. 541 00:38:13,452 --> 00:38:17,049 And they've just acquired a major contract from the Navy. 542 00:38:17,127 --> 00:38:20,010 I'd like to make them a cornerstone of your new portfolio. 543 00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:23,428 Navy, huh? You know, I was a swabbie once myself. 544 00:38:23,898 --> 00:38:25,323 No. 545 00:38:26,550 --> 00:38:28,107 - Excuse me, Mark? - Yeah? 546 00:38:28,108 --> 00:38:30,508 - Line two's for you. - I'll call back. Well. 547 00:38:30,534 --> 00:38:32,830 I really think you ought to take this one. 548 00:38:32,831 --> 00:38:36,231 - She says it's an emergency. - Oh. Excuse me. 549 00:38:38,247 --> 00:38:39,083 Hello? 550 00:38:40,034 --> 00:38:41,261 Bernice, what...? 551 00:38:42,762 --> 00:38:45,662 No, I don't know what time Wheel Of Fortune is on. 552 00:38:45,944 --> 00:38:48,518 I left you the TV Guide, it's right on the dresser. 553 00:38:48,541 --> 00:38:53,415 Yes, I realize you're in change, you stupid. Could you at least try...? 554 00:38:54,494 --> 00:38:55,507 Goodbye. 555 00:38:56,655 --> 00:38:59,246 - Sorry. - That was an emergency? 556 00:38:59,324 --> 00:39:04,398 Well, yes actually, in some warped alternate universe. 557 00:39:15,110 --> 00:39:20,549 Not so fast, Missy. It's time to shift my butt. 558 00:39:35,450 --> 00:39:36,650 Mark! 559 00:39:43,251 --> 00:39:46,951 Mark! Jessie! 560 00:39:51,797 --> 00:39:55,845 Move to the right. You're blowing my fluffy hair all over the place. 561 00:39:57,358 --> 00:39:59,977 Look! A puss, my pussy. 562 00:40:00,128 --> 00:40:03,138 It's so majestic, Oh, I've got to have it. 563 00:40:04,039 --> 00:40:09,039 And an iced tea. With lemon. In a nice glass. 564 00:40:09,456 --> 00:40:11,195 Somewhere. 565 00:40:14,535 --> 00:40:17,431 Jiggle the handle. 566 00:40:18,023 --> 00:40:20,736 - How do you handle stress? - I take a fistful of valium. 567 00:40:21,397 --> 00:40:25,084 I get drunk. Real drunk. 568 00:40:25,519 --> 00:40:26,998 Polka. 569 00:40:27,567 --> 00:40:30,172 Bust somebody. Anybody. 570 00:40:30,673 --> 00:40:31,932 Pump iron. 571 00:40:32,692 --> 00:40:34,337 Meditation. 572 00:40:35,038 --> 00:40:36,042 Sex. 573 00:40:37,112 --> 00:40:38,040 Excuse me, sir... 574 00:40:38,052 --> 00:40:40,391 Wait a second, this guy can't come in here with his camera. 575 00:40:40,513 --> 00:40:43,856 No, we're from Channel 12 News and we're doing a survey. 576 00:40:43,918 --> 00:40:45,633 How do you handle stress? 577 00:40:45,945 --> 00:40:51,001 Well, usually I find the source of the stress and break his legs. 578 00:40:53,218 --> 00:40:54,424 How much does... 579 00:40:55,089 --> 00:40:56,741 How much does something like that cost? 580 00:40:56,981 --> 00:41:00,211 I don't know. It all depends on how much stress is involved I guess. 581 00:41:00,312 --> 00:41:02,012 Usually about $200. 582 00:41:02,420 --> 00:41:04,216 What could you get for say 100? 583 00:41:04,394 --> 00:41:06,264 100? I don't know. A kneecap or something. 584 00:41:06,265 --> 00:41:08,265 I don't know. 200 is usually the rate though. 585 00:41:08,352 --> 00:41:10,239 Okay but what if that was your budget, what could you get? 586 00:41:10,586 --> 00:41:13,470 Well look if you're having money problems, we can work something out. 587 00:41:13,521 --> 00:41:15,909 You can maybe do something like this, you know I'm also a producer 588 00:41:15,931 --> 00:41:18,579 and I work on some independent films. 589 00:41:18,580 --> 00:41:20,080 No, I couldn't do anything like that. 590 00:41:20,201 --> 00:41:21,554 - No I think you could. - No really. 591 00:41:21,555 --> 00:41:24,355 You're on TV, you got a good look. This could be a beautiful thing. 592 00:41:24,375 --> 00:41:26,032 No, I'm fine thanks, and just, okay, thanks. 593 00:41:26,033 --> 00:41:28,333 Well let me know, you know where to find me. 594 00:41:28,571 --> 00:41:29,659 Cut that last part. 595 00:41:36,664 --> 00:41:37,581 Come in. 596 00:41:39,426 --> 00:41:40,525 What is that? 597 00:41:40,695 --> 00:41:41,486 Strategy. 598 00:41:41,487 --> 00:41:44,987 There are plenty of old acquaintances just dying to sweep me off my feet. 599 00:41:45,009 --> 00:41:46,869 Ranked in financial order? 600 00:41:46,996 --> 00:41:48,932 This is no time to beat around the bush. 601 00:41:49,127 --> 00:41:50,948 What is that asterisk? 602 00:41:51,445 --> 00:41:52,835 Over 80. 603 00:41:53,402 --> 00:41:56,242 Claudia, don't you think that you could give Kaddir another chance? 604 00:41:56,315 --> 00:41:57,976 He tried to crush me with his automatic gate. 605 00:41:57,977 --> 00:42:00,077 I think he made his feelings quite clear. 606 00:42:03,046 --> 00:42:05,747 Oh, no. No. 607 00:42:06,316 --> 00:42:08,664 - Jonathan. - Hi, Mom. 608 00:42:09,708 --> 00:42:11,065 - Hey, honey. - Hi, Jess. 609 00:42:11,066 --> 00:42:13,066 Is Kaddir ready to apologize? 610 00:42:13,143 --> 00:42:15,721 - No, he threw me out. - Damn. 611 00:42:16,274 --> 00:42:19,031 Anyway... Uncle Mark? 612 00:42:19,697 --> 00:42:21,814 I need a place to crash. 613 00:42:22,249 --> 00:42:26,328 - Jonathan, this is not a good time. - Of course you can stay here, darling. 614 00:42:26,449 --> 00:42:29,667 Thanks, thanks. Oh, Uncle Mark... 615 00:42:30,145 --> 00:42:34,503 - Yes, Jonathan? - I think I just ran over your cat. 616 00:42:41,887 --> 00:42:47,057 Dear God, here lies the body of Scruffy Bannister. 617 00:42:47,366 --> 00:42:50,057 And this time, it's for real. 618 00:42:50,775 --> 00:42:55,841 In your infinite wisdom, you saw fit to give him back to me once. 619 00:42:55,993 --> 00:42:59,954 But now you've ripped him from my busom once again. 620 00:43:02,224 --> 00:43:03,599 What are you guys doing? 621 00:43:04,103 --> 00:43:06,812 - Cat funeral. - Wait a minute. Can I have him? 622 00:43:07,046 --> 00:43:09,538 - No. - What would you do with a dead cat? 623 00:43:09,547 --> 00:43:12,117 I'll keep him in the freezer until school starts. 624 00:43:12,125 --> 00:43:14,226 You disgusting little ghoul. 625 00:43:14,256 --> 00:43:15,978 Who are you? It's mother? 626 00:43:16,979 --> 00:43:18,279 Now be good to him. 627 00:43:18,775 --> 00:43:24,771 And get me out of this little piece of hell on earth you call California. 628 00:43:25,327 --> 00:43:26,327 Amen. 629 00:43:44,130 --> 00:43:47,265 I'll kill you again, kitty-litter breath. 630 00:43:48,244 --> 00:43:50,513 Jerome, I understand. 631 00:43:50,635 --> 00:43:54,658 Some other time then. Right. Bye. 632 00:43:55,245 --> 00:43:58,758 - You pathetic worm. - Not going so well, huh? 633 00:43:59,071 --> 00:44:04,202 Married. Turned gay. Married. In jail... malpractice. Dead. 634 00:44:04,207 --> 00:44:06,603 I'll tell you, marriage material is getting tough to find. 635 00:44:06,637 --> 00:44:07,513 Claudia. 636 00:44:08,214 --> 00:44:13,514 What would you say to a nice, handsome, divorced car dealer? 637 00:44:13,756 --> 00:44:15,621 Foreign or domestic? 638 00:44:19,179 --> 00:44:20,509 Jessa, I know what you're up to. 639 00:44:20,510 --> 00:44:23,210 You think you can just force me off on some total stranger, 640 00:44:23,211 --> 00:44:24,811 but I'm telling you, if I don't like... 641 00:44:26,149 --> 00:44:27,519 Is that his? 642 00:44:29,597 --> 00:44:30,897 Lead on. 643 00:44:38,790 --> 00:44:44,438 - Here she is. - Growl. Hello. 644 00:44:44,904 --> 00:44:48,722 So, Jess tells me you and your boy need a place to stay. 645 00:44:53,561 --> 00:44:54,497 That's right. 646 00:44:54,909 --> 00:44:56,309 Be my guest. 647 00:45:03,615 --> 00:45:06,202 I can't believe it Mark, they were like two sex magnets, 648 00:45:06,214 --> 00:45:08,509 just straining not to slam into each other. 649 00:45:08,520 --> 00:45:11,342 Oh yeah? I know the feeling. 650 00:45:11,695 --> 00:45:13,330 Let's make love, Jess, we'll start right here, 651 00:45:13,331 --> 00:45:16,031 work across the lawn and then we wind up in the begonias. 652 00:45:18,326 --> 00:45:20,091 Wait a minute, wait a minute. What about Bernice? 653 00:45:20,126 --> 00:45:22,727 I threw some raw meat in earlier, she'll be fine for a while. 654 00:45:28,593 --> 00:45:32,353 I can't believe you're old enough to be Jonathan's mom. 655 00:45:32,374 --> 00:45:33,254 I'm not. 656 00:45:44,678 --> 00:45:46,300 Is something burning? 657 00:45:56,536 --> 00:45:58,575 Dad, can we get some marshmallows? 658 00:45:58,654 --> 00:45:59,653 Shut up! 659 00:45:59,702 --> 00:46:03,723 I cannot believe it. Sixteen pair of Italian pumps incinerated. 660 00:46:04,615 --> 00:46:06,624 C.K. did you get those fireworks out of there? 661 00:46:06,825 --> 00:46:07,725 Yeah. 662 00:46:10,303 --> 00:46:13,434 Well... most of them. 663 00:46:16,395 --> 00:46:19,091 My tools. My tools. 664 00:46:19,094 --> 00:46:20,897 Your tools? My shoes. 665 00:46:20,998 --> 00:46:24,183 Back off, Gold Card, I just lost my goddamn house. 666 00:46:24,184 --> 00:46:26,393 Well I don't understand what the big fuss is all about. 667 00:46:26,394 --> 00:46:28,094 Even a cretin like you must have insurance. 668 00:46:28,170 --> 00:46:31,359 Insurance? Oh, I got insurance all right. It ought to kick in in about three months. 669 00:46:31,471 --> 00:46:32,733 What do I do with my kids in the meantime? 670 00:46:32,823 --> 00:46:35,224 Take them to the Bel-Air hotel, I mean anyone who owns a Lotus... 671 00:46:35,259 --> 00:46:39,202 Who says I own it? It's a perk I get for trying to sell them. 672 00:46:39,429 --> 00:46:43,899 So, Bannister. What are we going to do about this? 673 00:46:53,270 --> 00:46:55,531 Make sure Fangster stays in his box. 674 00:46:55,532 --> 00:46:57,032 Waste of a good belt. 675 00:47:00,276 --> 00:47:01,584 Jonathan, put down that stuff 676 00:47:01,596 --> 00:47:03,076 - and get me a scotch. - and get me a scotch. 677 00:47:03,088 --> 00:47:04,959 Oh, just make yourself comfortable, son. 678 00:47:06,068 --> 00:47:09,790 Brenda, you won't believe it. Our house burned down. 679 00:47:09,885 --> 00:47:14,055 - These are all I could find. - Fine, Jonathan, just... 680 00:47:14,929 --> 00:47:16,402 Mark, we don't have to do this. 681 00:47:16,414 --> 00:47:20,526 Yes, we do darling, if we want to avoid a lawsuit for arson. 682 00:47:22,795 --> 00:47:23,978 Does this fold out? 683 00:47:40,450 --> 00:47:43,690 Hey, Mr. Bannister. Guess what didn't burn up. 684 00:47:46,669 --> 00:47:49,722 I'm calling about the room for rent for $300 a month. 685 00:47:50,278 --> 00:47:53,435 It is? Terrific. Immediately? 686 00:47:54,235 --> 00:47:57,536 Uh... seven people? 687 00:47:57,757 --> 00:47:59,841 Uh huh, that's great, Phil. Listen, by the way, 688 00:47:59,842 --> 00:48:02,042 what's happening with your guest house out back? 689 00:48:02,801 --> 00:48:06,159 Uh huh. How long is she expected to live? 690 00:48:07,237 --> 00:48:08,890 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 691 00:48:11,629 --> 00:48:13,381 You hang up first. 692 00:48:14,108 --> 00:48:17,247 No, you. Brenda. 693 00:48:17,778 --> 00:48:19,495 I can hear you breathing. 694 00:48:19,517 --> 00:48:22,078 Jonathan, did your grandmother send you a birthday check? 695 00:48:22,109 --> 00:48:23,643 Grandma's dead, mom. 696 00:48:23,744 --> 00:48:26,844 No, Brenda, you hang up first. 697 00:48:26,845 --> 00:48:29,845 No you. Brenda. 698 00:48:29,893 --> 00:48:32,245 Hey, did they get another cat? 699 00:48:32,632 --> 00:48:33,937 No, it's the same one. 700 00:48:34,849 --> 00:48:37,424 They buried him alive. Cool. 701 00:48:37,445 --> 00:48:39,442 Don't you be getting any ideas. 702 00:48:39,676 --> 00:48:44,499 - But if they can bury him, I can too. - Well, you get permission first. 703 00:48:45,399 --> 00:48:46,517 - No. - No. 704 00:48:46,551 --> 00:48:49,721 Don't worry about me having dinner. 705 00:48:49,733 --> 00:48:54,570 I'll just lick the crumbs off my filthy sheets. 706 00:49:35,815 --> 00:49:37,558 - Jessie! - What is it? 707 00:49:37,659 --> 00:49:40,059 - Don't look in there. - What do they want? 708 00:49:40,250 --> 00:49:45,029 - They want... to stay here. - Why, Mark, why? 709 00:49:45,081 --> 00:49:48,539 I don't know. Maybe we're in some vacation guide for the damned. 710 00:49:53,834 --> 00:49:56,496 Oh God! Oh God! 711 00:50:00,623 --> 00:50:02,349 - Oh, Mark! - Jessie! 712 00:50:03,350 --> 00:50:06,250 - Go to a hotel! - Jessie, get out of here! 713 00:50:07,616 --> 00:50:09,454 I don't trust you people! 714 00:50:10,107 --> 00:50:13,072 Get out of my house! 715 00:50:15,474 --> 00:50:16,774 Jess, run. 716 00:50:17,175 --> 00:50:18,175 Leave her... 717 00:50:20,376 --> 00:50:21,676 Leave her alone. 718 00:50:21,995 --> 00:50:23,578 Jess, leave Jess... 719 00:50:33,431 --> 00:50:34,731 Take Bernice. 720 00:50:43,472 --> 00:50:47,559 Mark. Honey, I know you're frustrated. 721 00:50:49,039 --> 00:50:52,117 Oh God, honey, I'm not in the mood. 722 00:50:52,118 --> 00:50:53,718 - Just... - What? 723 00:50:53,783 --> 00:50:57,691 Jessie? I'm way over here. What? 724 00:51:14,316 --> 00:51:16,638 Have you guys seen Fangster? 725 00:52:02,318 --> 00:52:04,640 - Mark? - What? 726 00:52:04,641 --> 00:52:08,541 We have to do something about these people. 727 00:52:13,289 --> 00:52:14,877 Yes. Uh huh. 728 00:52:15,078 --> 00:52:19,978 Well, I have only one question: do they all have to pass out flowers at the airport? 729 00:52:20,779 --> 00:52:23,079 Uh huh. And shave their heads. 730 00:52:24,377 --> 00:52:25,395 Thank you. 731 00:52:30,361 --> 00:52:32,681 - Hi. - Jonathan, what are you doing here? 732 00:52:33,083 --> 00:52:36,905 Look, Uncle Mark, I've been watching you. 733 00:52:37,118 --> 00:52:39,141 Having to take care of all of us. 734 00:52:39,293 --> 00:52:42,189 And, so, I'm job hunting. 735 00:52:42,711 --> 00:52:47,277 And I though, you know, maybe... Well I was wondering if... 736 00:52:49,730 --> 00:52:55,056 You mean something here? I do not think so, Jonathan. 737 00:52:55,278 --> 00:52:59,578 Well that's cool. I just... wanted to get my own place. 738 00:53:00,327 --> 00:53:01,970 I'll call personell. 739 00:53:02,035 --> 00:53:05,610 Well, no special treatment or anything. I mean, I'll start anywhere. 740 00:53:05,975 --> 00:53:08,032 The mail room would be great. 741 00:53:08,184 --> 00:53:11,523 In here. Frank. This is my nephew Jonathan. 742 00:53:11,758 --> 00:53:13,639 Now listen, I want you to take good care of him, okay? 743 00:53:14,107 --> 00:53:15,324 Welcome aboard, Jonathan. 744 00:53:15,402 --> 00:53:19,225 Hey, wow. Great stamps. I got a collection. 745 00:53:19,303 --> 00:53:22,163 Good. So listen, if you need anything, you call me, all right? 746 00:53:22,238 --> 00:53:25,825 You know, my mom was wrong. You're not an asshole. 747 00:53:26,431 --> 00:53:28,986 I'll be out of your hair in no time, Uncle Mark. 748 00:53:30,978 --> 00:53:35,375 Hi. Bernice, hi. Yes, how are you? Good. 749 00:53:35,386 --> 00:53:38,115 Yeah, I want the Wings Of The Night it's beautiful. 750 00:53:38,450 --> 00:53:40,763 Oh my God, yeah, I have nails that go just with it. 751 00:53:40,764 --> 00:53:44,364 Oh, I lost mine. Listen... Yeah, send it COD. 752 00:53:44,507 --> 00:53:48,112 Oh yeah. Two-two for me. Okay. Bye, bye, hon. 753 00:53:48,986 --> 00:53:51,286 Jessa, what pumps do I wear with this? 754 00:53:51,894 --> 00:53:54,414 No, that's pee for Dr. Penix' test. 755 00:53:54,581 --> 00:53:56,938 He's got to check the ovum count or something. 756 00:53:56,973 --> 00:53:59,939 You want me to mail urine to New Jersey? 757 00:53:59,983 --> 00:54:01,296 Yeah, would you? 758 00:54:03,249 --> 00:54:04,171 Wait, wait... 759 00:54:04,205 --> 00:54:05,826 I need your opinion on something here. 760 00:54:05,827 --> 00:54:08,027 These are my favorite names for the baby so far. 761 00:54:08,218 --> 00:54:13,332 Amaretta, Anziv, Caramel or Treblinka. 762 00:54:13,420 --> 00:54:16,694 You yokel. Naming a baby after a German concentration camp? 763 00:54:16,972 --> 00:54:19,672 I thought of Treblinka was one of those cute little fairies in Cinderella. 764 00:54:19,681 --> 00:54:20,495 You moron. 765 00:54:20,496 --> 00:54:24,096 Well, I hope my water breaks all over your fur coat. 766 00:54:46,402 --> 00:54:47,376 Are you okay? 767 00:54:49,672 --> 00:54:54,060 - Remember when that used to be our room? - Yes, I know. In the days before time. 768 00:54:55,261 --> 00:54:56,161 Baby. 769 00:54:56,934 --> 00:54:58,087 I hate those people. 770 00:54:58,099 --> 00:55:01,496 Jonathan got a job. It's going to get better. I promise. 771 00:55:11,340 --> 00:55:17,037 Right now, just you and me, all alone, right here, in the closet. 772 00:55:21,716 --> 00:55:22,516 There. 773 00:55:23,647 --> 00:55:26,025 I don't think he'll be coming back this time. 774 00:55:27,621 --> 00:55:30,265 Let me ask you a question. What does the C.K. stand for anyway? 775 00:55:30,474 --> 00:55:31,952 Confirmed Kills. 776 00:55:32,387 --> 00:55:35,657 But I might change it to cat killer. What do you think? 777 00:55:36,261 --> 00:55:38,427 I think we have a little problem here. 778 00:55:38,741 --> 00:55:39,680 C.K... 779 00:55:40,581 --> 00:55:42,581 do you know what happens when you cram too many laboratory rats 780 00:55:42,582 --> 00:55:44,081 together in the same cage? 781 00:55:44,432 --> 00:55:47,213 - Yeah, they turn into fags. - Right, some of them do. 782 00:55:47,242 --> 00:55:50,138 Others just turn into cannibals, they tear each other apart. 783 00:55:50,203 --> 00:55:52,342 Now when you minimize that space by blowing rooms apart, 784 00:55:52,343 --> 00:55:54,343 it really aggravates the situation. 785 00:55:54,742 --> 00:55:57,521 It's just so boring here. 786 00:55:57,556 --> 00:56:00,148 Now you listen to me, you psychotic little shit. 787 00:56:00,249 --> 00:56:03,649 You either get your act together, or you're going to be a face on a milk carton. 788 00:56:03,739 --> 00:56:06,860 - You got it? - You touch me, I sue you. 789 00:56:06,888 --> 00:56:08,897 I got a lawyer on retainer. 790 00:56:16,567 --> 00:56:17,567 Hi, hi. 791 00:56:17,864 --> 00:56:18,790 Hi honey. 792 00:56:18,791 --> 00:56:22,291 Do you hear that noise outside? That is C.K. mowing the lawn. 793 00:56:22,311 --> 00:56:26,012 All that kid needed was a little discipline, a little positive motivation. 794 00:56:26,978 --> 00:56:28,766 We can take control of this situation, darling. 795 00:56:28,778 --> 00:56:30,938 We can be the captains of our own destiny. 796 00:56:31,352 --> 00:56:35,251 Yes, things are looking up. I think that this is going to work out just fine. 797 00:56:35,263 --> 00:56:36,218 Don't you, hon? 798 00:56:40,518 --> 00:56:42,019 - Yeah. - Yeah. 799 00:56:46,137 --> 00:56:48,837 - Shoot them. - Strangle them. 800 00:56:48,838 --> 00:56:50,238 Cook them in the oven. 801 00:56:50,254 --> 00:56:52,247 - Hide his medication. - What? 802 00:56:52,348 --> 00:56:54,048 Kindness. 803 00:56:56,099 --> 00:56:58,886 We're talking about someone with a clean bill of health, right? 804 00:56:58,887 --> 00:57:00,687 The I guess I'd use insulin. 805 00:57:00,765 --> 00:57:03,313 Inject 30 CCs into, say, a freckle. 806 00:57:04,052 --> 00:57:06,413 Bingo, all the symptoms of a massive coronary. 807 00:57:06,418 --> 00:57:09,105 A hammer. Definitely a hammer. 808 00:57:09,127 --> 00:57:11,962 Oh, I don't know. Clorox in the bean dip? 809 00:57:19,167 --> 00:57:20,268 Jessie, we're back. 810 00:57:22,185 --> 00:57:24,099 How would you murder someone? 811 00:57:24,794 --> 00:57:26,960 If you have a question, Los Angeles... 812 00:57:29,168 --> 00:57:32,101 Ask somebody else. I mean, I swear to God, 813 00:57:32,113 --> 00:57:35,187 I don't know, I don't know the answers, I don't know anything anymore. 814 00:57:35,665 --> 00:57:39,061 Well, that's quite an interesting question, Jessica. 815 00:57:39,100 --> 00:57:42,475 I'm sure that's crossed everybody's mind now and then. 816 00:57:42,494 --> 00:57:44,606 How would you murder someone, Karen? 817 00:57:44,715 --> 00:57:48,276 If you were absolutely desperate to get rid of them, because they were 818 00:57:48,284 --> 00:57:51,920 - driving you out of your fucking mind. - Whoa. 819 00:57:52,894 --> 00:57:54,955 Well, I'd probably... 820 00:57:56,095 --> 00:57:58,482 It looks like insulin's the way to go 821 00:57:58,497 --> 00:58:00,996 - from what that doctor said. - Oh, yeah, right. 822 00:58:00,997 --> 00:58:04,897 Oh, like you can just tap-dance your way into a drugstore and get that stuff? 823 00:58:05,135 --> 00:58:09,140 Please. Oh and that Clorox bit, oh man, there is a real winner. 824 00:58:09,153 --> 00:58:11,967 Those people were up all night with the runts. 825 00:58:12,068 --> 00:58:15,568 And they refused to jiggle the handle. 826 00:58:15,889 --> 00:58:17,411 What are you talking about? 827 00:58:17,889 --> 00:58:19,355 House guests. 828 00:58:20,637 --> 00:58:24,842 I am talking about house guests from hell. 829 00:58:27,325 --> 00:58:29,934 Listen to me, ladies and gentlemen, no, get that snack later, 830 00:58:29,935 --> 00:58:32,235 you listen to me, lock your doors. 831 00:58:32,473 --> 00:58:33,800 Don't answer the phone. 832 00:58:34,001 --> 00:58:36,300 If you have to leave the country, then leave the country, 833 00:58:36,301 --> 00:58:38,701 but don't let them in. 834 00:58:39,414 --> 00:58:42,550 Don't let them fool you, they're very, very tricky. 835 00:58:42,651 --> 00:58:45,051 They might look like your mother or your father or your best friend, 836 00:58:45,152 --> 00:58:46,452 but they're not. 837 00:58:46,501 --> 00:58:49,937 They're animals. They're cockroaches. 838 00:58:50,415 --> 00:58:52,816 If we have a nuclear war, 839 00:58:52,817 --> 00:58:58,117 the only living thing to survive will be house guests. 840 00:59:05,539 --> 00:59:08,575 We'll be right back. With weather. 841 00:59:31,334 --> 00:59:32,334 Mark? 842 00:59:32,964 --> 00:59:33,964 Hello? 843 00:59:38,909 --> 00:59:43,505 Hey buddy! Excuse me! Seen Mark? 844 00:59:44,731 --> 00:59:46,084 Have you seen Mark? 845 00:59:46,806 --> 00:59:48,641 Upstairs, I think. 846 00:59:50,463 --> 00:59:54,499 Are the Bannisters doing a little remodeling here? 847 00:59:55,129 --> 00:59:57,325 I guess you might say that, yes. 848 00:59:57,625 --> 01:00:00,630 I'm building a bleacher for the TV set. 849 01:00:02,430 --> 01:00:05,600 Sure you are. Okay. Sure. 850 01:00:12,361 --> 01:00:15,427 - Thank God. - Move, dork. 851 01:00:18,971 --> 01:00:22,068 You compulsive little midget. Next time, flush. 852 01:00:22,642 --> 01:00:25,473 Excuse me, have you seen Mark Bannister? 853 01:00:25,612 --> 01:00:27,646 Well, he was in the kitchen. 854 01:00:28,120 --> 01:00:33,778 Mark, my chains are squeaking. It's time for my lube job. 855 01:00:34,226 --> 01:00:36,700 I wouldn't go in there if I were you. 856 01:00:38,301 --> 01:00:39,101 Sure. 857 01:00:41,718 --> 01:00:45,892 Come on, Scruffy, let's go visit Mr. Microwave. 858 01:00:47,149 --> 01:00:49,480 I'm going to make you a cat soufflé. 859 01:00:49,681 --> 01:00:50,481 Come on. 860 01:00:51,210 --> 01:00:56,198 Excuse me, son? Have you seen Mark Bannister? 861 01:00:56,251 --> 01:01:00,391 Backyard. Shit, look at what you made me do. 862 01:01:00,792 --> 01:01:03,192 Sorry. Sorry. 863 01:01:12,266 --> 01:01:13,166 Jessie? 864 01:01:17,114 --> 01:01:19,836 God, Wes, you're not moving in too are you? 865 01:01:19,902 --> 01:01:21,311 What? No. 866 01:01:21,612 --> 01:01:23,012 Mark didn't come in to work though, 867 01:01:23,013 --> 01:01:25,513 and your phone's been off the hook all morning, 868 01:01:25,514 --> 01:01:26,813 and I just thought I'd... 869 01:01:27,020 --> 01:01:29,320 Mark, what the hell's going on here? 870 01:01:29,329 --> 01:01:31,778 Hello Wes. I didn't sleep too good last night. 871 01:01:31,779 --> 01:01:32,679 At four o'clock in the morning 872 01:01:32,680 --> 01:01:34,880 I think the sprinklers went off and woke me up. 873 01:01:34,890 --> 01:01:37,665 I believe I've got a short in one of these extension cords too. 874 01:01:37,687 --> 01:01:40,671 No, no, no, no. I mean this. I mean them. 875 01:01:40,772 --> 01:01:42,072 Why don't you get rid of them? 876 01:01:42,773 --> 01:01:45,573 - Oh no. - Well if you don't, I will. 877 01:01:45,592 --> 01:01:48,905 - No! We've tried that. - It just makes more. 878 01:01:48,928 --> 01:01:52,341 We just hand over our paychecks, stay out of their way. 879 01:01:53,637 --> 01:01:55,267 It's for the best. 880 01:01:55,303 --> 01:01:58,056 Hey, hey, hey, come on. You've got to listen to me, pal. 881 01:01:58,057 --> 01:02:01,157 If you don't get to work soon, you're not going to have a paycheck. 882 01:02:01,165 --> 01:02:04,273 Hey, come on, big guy. Come back to me. Okay? Mark. 883 01:02:04,308 --> 01:02:08,083 Hydrolux down 32 points. 884 01:02:08,217 --> 01:02:11,374 Grindle has gone completely apeshit. We got to go. 885 01:02:11,409 --> 01:02:12,854 - What should I do? - We got to go to work. 886 01:02:12,855 --> 01:02:13,755 - To work? - Chop, chop. 887 01:02:13,756 --> 01:02:14,556 - We should go to work. - Go to work. 888 01:02:14,563 --> 01:02:15,500 I got to go to work, Jessie. 889 01:02:15,502 --> 01:02:16,836 - OK, hon. - Bye, Jessie. 890 01:02:17,137 --> 01:02:19,337 Bye. Don't be late for dinner, honey. 891 01:02:19,441 --> 01:02:24,750 - OK I won't. What are we having? - Just squab again. 892 01:02:26,863 --> 01:02:30,229 - What happened here? - Well, you know... 893 01:02:31,847 --> 01:02:35,403 Crackpot's file indictments for lawsuits every day, sir. 894 01:02:35,586 --> 01:02:39,796 Well, even the Navy can make a mistake. No, I didn't know that. 895 01:02:39,922 --> 01:02:43,678 I guess I missed the Wall Street Journal all last week. 896 01:02:44,127 --> 01:02:45,651 No, don't worry. I'm sorry. Yes sir. 897 01:02:45,652 --> 01:02:48,245 Your Hydrolux stock will be sold immediately. Yes, sir. 898 01:02:49,440 --> 01:02:50,936 - Bannister? - Yes. 899 01:02:50,937 --> 01:02:52,337 I hope you have a good explanation. 900 01:02:52,341 --> 01:02:54,598 The Grindle situation is under control. 901 01:02:54,676 --> 01:02:56,563 - That is not what I'm talking about. - What? 902 01:02:56,564 --> 01:02:57,464 This. 903 01:02:57,554 --> 01:03:01,430 Almost $6000 worth of calls to South America. From your office. 904 01:03:02,281 --> 01:03:05,182 What? Obviously it's a mistake. I've never made any of these. 905 01:03:05,203 --> 01:03:08,063 - Oh. Who did? - How the hell do I...? 906 01:03:08,943 --> 01:03:11,974 - I will find out. - You do that. 907 01:03:16,518 --> 01:03:18,505 Jonathan, do you know anything about phone... 908 01:03:19,131 --> 01:03:21,229 Hey, Mr. Bannister, you got another one of these packages. 909 01:03:21,241 --> 01:03:22,041 What packages? 910 01:03:22,159 --> 01:03:24,713 Well, these. Well didn't you get them? 911 01:03:24,825 --> 01:03:27,498 Jonathan said you'd take care of it. I got to go. See you. 912 01:03:59,398 --> 01:04:01,534 Bannister. What the hell are you doing? 913 01:04:02,535 --> 01:04:03,435 Sorry. 914 01:04:19,697 --> 01:04:21,006 - Mark. - Come on. 915 01:04:21,007 --> 01:04:23,607 - Can't you see that I'm not in? - But, but, but... 916 01:04:38,278 --> 01:04:39,652 Tiny, no! 917 01:04:40,405 --> 01:04:41,213 Fred? 918 01:04:41,814 --> 01:04:43,714 It's all right. Steady. Steady, all right. 919 01:04:43,715 --> 01:04:44,615 What the hell is going on? 920 01:04:44,705 --> 01:04:48,048 I did it Pudge. Stretch. I did it like you said. 921 01:04:48,080 --> 01:04:49,033 Listen, Fred, I'll be right back. 922 01:04:49,045 --> 01:04:52,841 Mark! Meet Tiny Bannister. 923 01:04:54,863 --> 01:04:58,277 - Fred, this is not a good time. - Mark. I've followed my heart. 924 01:04:58,298 --> 01:05:01,186 - I found the real me. - What? You joined the circus? 925 01:05:01,251 --> 01:05:04,151 No, I traveled. I met interesting people. 926 01:05:04,252 --> 01:05:05,352 Well strangers, mostly. 927 01:05:05,353 --> 01:05:08,153 Wait. Let me get rid of this box and then we'll have... 928 01:05:09,934 --> 01:05:11,061 Oh God. 929 01:05:18,622 --> 01:05:22,315 - Howdy. - Are you the owner of this animal, sir? 930 01:05:22,346 --> 01:05:24,314 What? Oh, no. 931 01:05:24,437 --> 01:05:26,858 - She's mine, officers. - Do you have a permit? 932 01:05:26,970 --> 01:05:29,063 No, not yet. We just got into town. 933 01:05:29,228 --> 01:05:31,764 - Is this your residence? - No. 934 01:05:32,663 --> 01:05:36,038 But my wife's upstairs, they got her strung up in there. 935 01:05:36,067 --> 01:05:37,059 What? 936 01:05:37,571 --> 01:05:40,734 She's all right and everything. She just tried to stab me. 937 01:05:40,735 --> 01:05:41,435 No. 938 01:05:43,156 --> 01:05:44,331 Excuse me. 939 01:05:48,696 --> 01:05:52,432 - Jonathan? Jonathan? - Hey, Mark, did you see the elephant? 940 01:05:52,436 --> 01:05:56,328 - He's got diarrhea. - You are diarrhea. 941 01:05:57,037 --> 01:05:58,998 No, Tiny, not the flower bed. 942 01:05:59,089 --> 01:06:01,011 How do we radio this in? 943 01:06:26,267 --> 01:06:28,510 I'll tell you how we radio it in. 944 01:06:30,302 --> 01:06:31,841 Rock house. 945 01:06:34,286 --> 01:06:37,682 - Hey, Mark. - What is this? 946 01:06:38,177 --> 01:06:42,226 It's got your name on it. Guess it's your cocaine, man. 947 01:06:42,965 --> 01:06:47,292 Baker 63, possible rock house. Repeat, rock house. 948 01:06:47,293 --> 01:06:50,293 Elephant on premises, send backup. 949 01:07:17,095 --> 01:07:19,795 Hey, Mark, What's 1051 in Roman? 950 01:07:20,596 --> 01:07:22,496 Get off the bed. What are you doing? 951 01:07:25,001 --> 01:07:28,772 This is the police. Come out with your hands up. 952 01:07:28,873 --> 01:07:30,473 We have you surrounded. 953 01:07:42,526 --> 01:07:46,605 Bastards want to play hardball, huh? Call in the battering ram. 954 01:07:53,300 --> 01:07:55,014 To hell with this. Get... 955 01:08:12,152 --> 01:08:14,948 Hey, Claude, what the hell's going on out there? 956 01:08:14,968 --> 01:08:17,780 - Men. Lots of men. - What the men? 957 01:08:18,092 --> 01:08:20,131 The police. They're arresting your husband. 958 01:08:21,405 --> 01:08:25,654 That's a good girl, Tiny. Now steady. Now we're going to head back to the garage. 959 01:08:26,163 --> 01:08:29,623 All right now. Real slow to the squad car. 960 01:08:30,345 --> 01:08:32,002 Get your hands up. 961 01:08:37,629 --> 01:08:41,138 Hey! Hey you! Buddy! What the hell are you going out there? 962 01:08:41,187 --> 01:08:43,765 Get off my new driveway. I just put that in. 963 01:08:43,809 --> 01:08:48,135 Those pebbles are worth $600. $600! 964 01:08:49,153 --> 01:08:52,788 $600.000. You old fart. 965 01:09:15,843 --> 01:09:18,265 - Russell, please. - I can't. 966 01:09:18,277 --> 01:09:20,983 Please let me go on. I swear to God, I'm better now, 967 01:09:21,005 --> 01:09:25,322 and I will never ever let my home life affect my professional life again. Ever. 968 01:09:25,462 --> 01:09:26,462 Please? 969 01:09:28,271 --> 01:09:31,741 This is my ass, Jessie. Get in. 970 01:09:31,742 --> 01:09:32,542 Thank you. Thank you. 971 01:09:32,543 --> 01:09:33,843 Ten seconds. 972 01:09:37,944 --> 01:09:40,244 This is the channel 12 eight o'clock report. 973 01:09:40,245 --> 01:09:42,045 - With your... - Camera one, tape in five, 974 01:09:42,046 --> 01:09:47,246 - four, three, two. - ... question girl, Jessica Bannister. 975 01:09:47,382 --> 01:09:49,795 Good evening. Our top story tonight: 976 01:09:49,807 --> 01:09:53,162 A SWAT team strike has been called in on a Santa Monica home. 977 01:09:53,193 --> 01:09:57,188 We now go live to field reporter Brad Bovie. Brad? 978 01:09:57,240 --> 01:09:59,637 That's right, Karen. Details are still a little sketchy, 979 01:09:59,638 --> 01:10:02,838 but apparently police suspecting cocaine on the premises 980 01:10:02,839 --> 01:10:04,439 have called in a full strike. 981 01:10:04,589 --> 01:10:09,273 What we've heard is that they have reason to believe that this is a rock house. 982 01:10:12,074 --> 01:10:13,274 Holy shit! 983 01:10:19,200 --> 01:10:21,317 Wait a minute, someone's coming out. 984 01:10:22,765 --> 01:10:26,458 - Are you all right? - Yeah. That was cool. 985 01:10:26,566 --> 01:10:29,515 Are we on TV? Brenda, call me. 986 01:10:29,693 --> 01:10:31,737 - Sir, are you the homeowner? - No. 987 01:10:32,346 --> 01:10:35,502 - Did you say he was dealing drugs? - Well we don't... 988 01:10:35,503 --> 01:10:37,603 I never did trust that guy. 989 01:10:37,668 --> 01:10:39,776 It's them quiet, wimpy types 990 01:10:39,777 --> 01:10:42,277 who always get involved in this sort of thing, ain't it? 991 01:10:42,382 --> 01:10:44,695 Flipping out, raping, killing... 992 01:10:44,739 --> 01:10:47,343 Karen, back to you until we can make some kind of sense out of this. 993 01:10:47,770 --> 01:10:50,504 Tiny please, come on, this is not your mama. 994 01:10:53,026 --> 01:10:56,476 Thanks, Brad. We understand that the homeowners 995 01:10:56,477 --> 01:10:58,377 are being sought for questioning. 996 01:10:58,410 --> 01:11:03,232 And that that baby elephant that you just saw, is apparently unlicensed, 997 01:11:03,254 --> 01:11:05,686 and will be taken into police custody. 998 01:11:05,687 --> 01:11:10,287 We'll keep you updated as this bizarre story unfolds. 999 01:11:17,608 --> 01:11:19,786 More poisonous gases. 1000 01:11:19,960 --> 01:11:22,719 Investigators at this hour are still trying to determine 1001 01:11:22,720 --> 01:11:27,420 the source of poisonous gases which rendered twelve employees 1002 01:11:27,470 --> 01:11:30,997 of the Midwilshire District businesses unconscious. 1003 01:11:55,466 --> 01:11:56,483 Jessie. 1004 01:11:57,375 --> 01:12:00,255 - Thank God, I found you. - Mark, what happened? 1005 01:12:00,257 --> 01:12:04,020 Our nephew is a drug czar and now I'm David Jansen. 1006 01:12:04,176 --> 01:12:06,620 - I have this whole... - The Dow Jones plummeted again today. 1007 01:12:06,621 --> 01:12:09,921 Among the hardest hit was the Hydrolux Corporation, 1008 01:12:09,998 --> 01:12:13,395 which amid allegations of fraud by the US Navy, 1009 01:12:13,396 --> 01:12:16,196 fell a record 85 points. 1010 01:12:16,316 --> 01:12:19,778 Hydrolux president, Robert Nellins was unavailable for comment, 1011 01:12:19,813 --> 01:12:24,214 Channel 12 News has learned however he's on vacation in Bora-Bora. 1012 01:12:24,374 --> 01:12:28,536 Great. I'm an unemployed David Jansen, I forgot to sell Grindle's stock. 1013 01:12:28,614 --> 01:12:32,406 - Shit, shit, shit. Come on. - No. I don't want to go. 1014 01:12:32,449 --> 01:12:34,524 No, I'm staying here. You're not going to get me out of here, Mark. 1015 01:12:34,525 --> 01:12:36,425 - Honey. - Let's live here. 1016 01:12:36,667 --> 01:12:37,594 What? 1017 01:12:37,695 --> 01:12:40,695 Look, it's beautiful, everything's clean and nice and... 1018 01:12:40,872 --> 01:12:45,530 Oh, Mark, there's food in the... Oh, look, Mark, mock-chicken pot pie. 1019 01:12:45,669 --> 01:12:47,591 - Come on Jessie, let's go. - No. No. 1020 01:12:47,592 --> 01:12:49,792 You're not going to take me away. I'm not letting go of the... 1021 01:12:49,993 --> 01:12:52,493 Jessie! Jessie. Jessie. 1022 01:12:53,061 --> 01:12:56,810 Listen to me, Mark. We can live in one of the soap opera sets. 1023 01:12:56,987 --> 01:13:00,336 They'll never know we're here, Mark. We can be the phantoms of Channel 12. 1024 01:13:00,371 --> 01:13:02,371 Listen to me, everything is going to be... 1025 01:13:02,372 --> 01:13:05,072 Don't you say everything's going to be all right. 1026 01:13:05,728 --> 01:13:10,089 It's not going to be all right. Ever! Ever! 1027 01:13:10,124 --> 01:13:14,324 Honey, honey, listen, listen, all right fine. Listen. 1028 01:13:14,629 --> 01:13:19,856 We'll stay here tonight. Tomorrow we're leaving town. 1029 01:13:19,935 --> 01:13:20,787 Changing our name. 1030 01:13:20,788 --> 01:13:22,888 - We're going to start all over. - What about our house? 1031 01:13:22,898 --> 01:13:26,187 Forget the house, I don't give a damn about the house, let them repossess it. 1032 01:13:26,544 --> 01:13:29,914 I don't care about our jobs, I don't care about any of our stuff. 1033 01:13:30,671 --> 01:13:33,769 The only thing that matters... 1034 01:13:33,971 --> 01:13:38,590 ...really matters... is us. 1035 01:13:40,691 --> 01:13:42,591 Oh, honey. 1036 01:14:13,594 --> 01:14:15,616 Yeah. I know what you mean. 1037 01:14:15,812 --> 01:14:18,729 Oh, come on. Let's just grab what we can and get out of here, okay? 1038 01:14:21,248 --> 01:14:23,979 Yes, this is Dr. Penix, calling from Trenton. 1039 01:14:24,091 --> 01:14:25,907 Bernice I've been trying to reach you for weeks, 1040 01:14:25,910 --> 01:14:27,479 but this line's always busy. 1041 01:14:27,552 --> 01:14:31,866 I've got your test results here. I don't know how to tell you this, but... 1042 01:14:36,041 --> 01:14:37,884 You're not pregnant. 1043 01:14:38,637 --> 01:14:39,437 What? 1044 01:14:40,380 --> 01:14:45,240 Dr. Penix just called and he said there is absolutely no way in the world 1045 01:14:45,451 --> 01:14:47,029 that you are pregnant. 1046 01:14:47,529 --> 01:14:49,610 You must have sent the wrong pee. 1047 01:14:50,608 --> 01:14:54,491 Look at that, Bernice, your stomach is flat as a board. 1048 01:14:55,383 --> 01:14:57,087 I got a thin fetus. 1049 01:14:57,601 --> 01:15:01,306 Bernice, get over it and get out. 1050 01:15:02,036 --> 01:15:06,302 You're just jealous because no sperm in it's right mind 1051 01:15:06,303 --> 01:15:09,003 would swim up your shriveled canal. 1052 01:15:12,004 --> 01:15:15,004 Let go of me! Hey, hey! 1053 01:15:35,258 --> 01:15:38,735 - Stay away from me, crazy lady. - Say it. 1054 01:15:38,836 --> 01:15:39,836 What? 1055 01:15:39,936 --> 01:15:41,907 I want to hear you say it. 1056 01:15:42,885 --> 01:15:43,825 I guess... 1057 01:15:44,532 --> 01:15:45,864 I'm not pregnant. 1058 01:15:45,880 --> 01:15:49,585 But, you know, I could have sworn... I felt my breasts swelling, constipation... 1059 01:15:49,986 --> 01:15:52,216 - Say it! - Somebody help. 1060 01:15:52,539 --> 01:15:54,809 Aren't you going to do something? 1061 01:15:54,839 --> 01:15:56,792 - No. - No. 1062 01:15:56,827 --> 01:15:58,735 I'm going to count to three, Bernice. 1063 01:15:58,845 --> 01:16:01,531 - One. - I want a second opinion. 1064 01:16:01,532 --> 01:16:02,732 Two. 1065 01:16:04,649 --> 01:16:07,137 - Say it. - All right, we're leaving. 1066 01:16:07,219 --> 01:16:09,802 Fred, start packing. 1067 01:16:19,390 --> 01:16:21,825 Honey, it's over, it's finally over. 1068 01:16:24,652 --> 01:16:25,539 Not quite. 1069 01:16:31,905 --> 01:16:33,579 Let's clean house. 1070 01:16:33,728 --> 01:16:36,437 Yeah. Kick ass. 1071 01:16:55,921 --> 01:16:58,757 - Company! - Company! 1072 01:17:08,106 --> 01:17:10,067 Oh, sis! 1073 01:17:10,776 --> 01:17:14,802 Sister's got a surprise for you! 1074 01:17:14,924 --> 01:17:18,760 Oh, you want to play? Let's go, Bannister. 1075 01:17:20,447 --> 01:17:21,982 Now let's play Cuisinart. 1076 01:17:28,174 --> 01:17:29,779 Oh, Claudia. 1077 01:17:31,161 --> 01:17:32,448 I'm not decent. 1078 01:17:34,353 --> 01:17:36,318 Tell me something I don't know. 1079 01:17:36,450 --> 01:17:38,823 Now Jessie, calm down, I'll get you a valium. 1080 01:17:39,034 --> 01:17:43,472 - You think you're real sharp, don't you? - People are like going totally mental. 1081 01:17:45,855 --> 01:17:47,489 Let me ask you a question! 1082 01:17:49,229 --> 01:17:52,104 - Are you circumcised? - I'm warning you. 1083 01:17:52,843 --> 01:17:55,073 Stop, they're Charles Jourdan! 1084 01:17:55,470 --> 01:17:58,101 Now, I want you to get your gold-digging, 1085 01:17:58,102 --> 01:18:02,702 lilly white ass out of my house. 1086 01:18:03,403 --> 01:18:08,203 - Uh. - No! 1087 01:18:11,004 --> 01:18:14,204 You psycho. Hey, man. Don't kill me, don't, don't. 1088 01:18:15,505 --> 01:18:17,205 You wimp! 1089 01:18:18,525 --> 01:18:22,247 It always figured you'd come up short in a clinch. Come on! 1090 01:18:29,608 --> 01:18:32,775 Stay away! Stay away from me! 1091 01:18:46,376 --> 01:18:49,776 Jesus, what's this? Jesus Christ. Jonathan. 1092 01:18:50,155 --> 01:18:52,747 - Now you get the hell out of my house! - Back off! Back off! 1093 01:18:52,817 --> 01:18:55,460 You try that again and I'll cut you, I swear. 1094 01:19:01,896 --> 01:19:03,426 - Give me your keys. - What? 1095 01:19:03,427 --> 01:19:06,127 Give me your car keys now! Shut up! 1096 01:19:06,549 --> 01:19:08,157 Wouldn't you rather take the Lotus? 1097 01:19:08,936 --> 01:19:09,736 Yeah. 1098 01:19:11,028 --> 01:19:13,516 Yeah. It's an excellent idea. Here you go... oh. 1099 01:19:13,517 --> 01:19:15,517 I'm real sorry about that. 1100 01:19:15,581 --> 01:19:17,564 You know what? You know what? I think if we just rested a minute 1101 01:19:17,565 --> 01:19:19,965 and thought about this, we might be able to work it out. 1102 01:19:19,981 --> 01:19:20,881 Bullshit! 1103 01:19:20,917 --> 01:19:24,378 Now, you know, Jonathan, we're all family, we could sit down, have a talk, maybe... 1104 01:19:24,421 --> 01:19:27,430 - That's bullshit! Shut up! - Let's call the prayer line. 1105 01:19:27,587 --> 01:19:30,868 Uncle Mark. You are a yuppie dickhead! 1106 01:19:32,187 --> 01:19:35,531 One day, I'm going to buy and sell people like you. 1107 01:19:35,596 --> 01:19:39,184 - I'm going to make some noise. - We know you are. 1108 01:19:43,085 --> 01:19:44,485 - Jonathan? - Move! 1109 01:19:44,919 --> 01:19:46,933 Hey, that's my fireworks! 1110 01:19:46,934 --> 01:19:49,134 Where do you think you're going? Get away from that car! 1111 01:19:49,163 --> 01:19:50,576 That's a loaner! 1112 01:20:01,296 --> 01:20:03,504 Stupid things didn't work. 1113 01:20:08,622 --> 01:20:10,728 They always work. 1114 01:20:12,576 --> 01:20:16,936 - I am the king of this castle! - And I am his queen! 1115 01:20:16,942 --> 01:20:22,903 And we will burn it to the ground before we let any of you back in! 1116 01:20:23,868 --> 01:20:26,665 You... parasites! 1117 01:20:41,702 --> 01:20:43,154 Are you the home owners here? 1118 01:20:43,159 --> 01:20:45,054 That's right, what are you going to do about it? 1119 01:20:45,215 --> 01:20:46,564 Well, on behalf of the P.D., 1120 01:20:46,565 --> 01:20:50,065 I've been authorized to issue an official apology for what happened last night, 1121 01:20:50,066 --> 01:20:52,166 we're prepared to pay for the damages. 1122 01:20:52,173 --> 01:20:54,790 - All the damages? - Yes, ma'am. 1123 01:20:54,825 --> 01:20:56,834 What, what about the criminal investigation? 1124 01:20:57,000 --> 01:20:59,678 Well, yeah, there was some talk about pursuing that. 1125 01:20:59,869 --> 01:21:02,039 Until we found all our hard evidence was missing. 1126 01:21:02,040 --> 01:21:03,140 What hard evidence? 1127 01:21:03,234 --> 01:21:05,042 That cat that dropped dead on your lawn? 1128 01:21:05,054 --> 01:21:07,095 Yeah, it disappeared out of the evidence room. 1129 01:21:07,148 --> 01:21:09,457 Believe me, there's going to be hell to pay over that one. 1130 01:21:29,613 --> 01:21:32,379 Jesus Christ, Bannister! I've been looking all over for you! 1131 01:21:32,382 --> 01:21:35,515 Oh yeah, Grindle? Let me tell you something. 1132 01:21:35,516 --> 01:21:38,316 I have had it up to here with loud-mouth bullies like you. 1133 01:21:38,326 --> 01:21:39,752 The Navy dropped their fraud charges. 1134 01:21:39,764 --> 01:21:40,966 You want to fire me, go ahead. 1135 01:21:40,968 --> 01:21:42,966 Hydrolux went up 157 points. 1136 01:21:42,978 --> 01:21:43,909 Do you know what your problem is? 1137 01:21:43,910 --> 01:21:45,459 I made a bundle because you hung in there. 1138 01:21:45,460 --> 01:21:47,860 You're the worst kind of arrogant, small-minded... 1139 01:21:47,861 --> 01:21:49,761 - I want you to work for me. - Buts! 1140 01:21:49,763 --> 01:21:52,060 - I'll double your salary. - Screw you. 1141 01:21:52,061 --> 01:21:54,860 - All right, triple. - Screw you blue. 1142 01:21:54,995 --> 01:21:58,734 Senior Vice-President at four times your present salary. 1143 01:21:58,735 --> 01:22:00,435 That's my final offer! 1144 01:22:00,612 --> 01:22:02,993 - If that's okay. - Let me tell you something, asshole. 1145 01:22:02,994 --> 01:22:05,094 Honey. Shut up. 1146 01:22:07,357 --> 01:22:08,509 We'll let you know. 1147 01:22:08,515 --> 01:22:12,545 Great! Your kind of hard balls are exactly what I've been looking for. 1148 01:22:12,618 --> 01:22:14,454 You and me are going to make millions! 1149 01:22:17,702 --> 01:22:19,282 I don't believe we've met. 1150 01:22:20,385 --> 01:22:22,081 Bob Grindle, ma'am. 1151 01:22:22,750 --> 01:22:27,325 - And you are? - Your wildest dreams come true, darling. 1152 01:22:29,995 --> 01:22:32,429 Well, Lotus is definitely the car of the future. 1153 01:22:32,484 --> 01:22:35,431 When my insurance kicks in, I'm going to be back on easy street. 1154 01:22:35,466 --> 01:22:38,192 But in the meantime I was wondering if you might happen to have room 1155 01:22:38,193 --> 01:22:41,293 at your place for me and a couple of wonderful kids. 1156 01:22:41,301 --> 01:22:42,301 Maybe. 1157 01:22:42,588 --> 01:22:44,829 - Dad, I don't want to live with some cop! - Hey! 1158 01:22:44,963 --> 01:22:47,580 You want to eat brussel sprouts three meals a day, punk? 1159 01:22:53,838 --> 01:22:55,416 Yo baby, chop-chop. 1160 01:22:55,595 --> 01:22:57,908 Don't "yo baby" me. 1161 01:22:58,417 --> 01:23:01,091 You said you were going to change, I thought might you change, 1162 01:23:01,092 --> 01:23:03,592 and maybe you'd shave, you know you look like Fu Manchu. 1163 01:23:03,600 --> 01:23:06,709 - you could... - Bernice. Remember what we practiced? 1164 01:23:08,583 --> 01:23:11,192 - No yupping. - That's right. 1165 01:23:11,414 --> 01:23:13,863 Fine, good, you can do all the talking from now on 1166 01:23:13,864 --> 01:23:16,464 because my jaws are tired after all these years... 1167 01:23:23,050 --> 01:23:27,773 Scruffy-doodle! Oh, there is a God. Come to me. 1168 01:23:31,913 --> 01:23:32,861 Bernice, 1169 01:23:33,848 --> 01:23:35,739 I don't think he wants to go with you. 1170 01:23:36,457 --> 01:23:40,175 According to my calculations, he has... five lives left. 1171 01:23:40,414 --> 01:23:42,597 He's welcome to spend the rest of them with us if he wants to. 1172 01:23:42,688 --> 01:23:43,888 He's earned it. 1173 01:23:44,241 --> 01:23:46,867 Don't be silly, come to mama, sweetie. 1174 01:23:49,032 --> 01:23:50,233 Traitor. 1175 01:23:51,655 --> 01:23:53,742 We really got to stay in touch, Stretch. 1176 01:23:56,242 --> 01:23:57,702 I'll call you once a month. 1177 01:23:58,633 --> 01:24:00,673 Is collect okay till I get a job? 1178 01:24:01,982 --> 01:24:05,587 All right. If you ever get to New Jersey... 1179 01:24:05,808 --> 01:24:07,700 We'll stay at the Holiday Inn. 1180 01:24:39,000 --> 01:24:41,700 I cannot believe this place is really ours again. 1181 01:25:10,157 --> 01:25:11,375 I'll be back. 1182 01:30:41,000 --> 01:30:41,001 .