[LEO PANTING]
[GRUNTS]
- Save Shelly. - Huh?
Save Shelly.
Why, who in the world let Major Briggs loose, Leo?
It couldn't have been you, could it?
[LEO GRUNTS]
No, no. No punishment, Leo.
It's too late for that to do us any harm.
And I have a new game for you.
Well, here's our contribution to the Miss Twin Peaks gala buffet.
SHELLY: Mm.
And I fully expect to see one of you up there in the winner's circle.
- Dream on, Norma. - Don't be so sure.
This is the biggest day of the year for us.
And we have to have somebody up there
who really deserves this title.
Especially this year.
You mean Laura Palmer?
It would be a good day for healing.
I think we need more than a day.
So, Norma, are they gonna honor you tonight
on your 20th anniversary of winning Miss Twin Peaks?
Don't remind me.
Come on, if you entered today, you'd win.
Look at you, you're already working on the judge.
Well, since you mentioned it...
Who are you gonna vote for?
Maybe you could split your vote.
AUDREY: Hi, Daddy. - Audrey.
The most intelligent face that I've seen all day.
You make the rest of us look like primates.
What's with all the books?
Ah, yes, the Koran,
the Bhagavad-Gita, the Talmud,
the Bible, Old and New Testaments,
the Tao Te Ching.
Audrey, I hold in my hands those holy books
which constitute the fundamental framework
of humanity's philosophy of good.
Somewhere in here are the answers that I seek.
And I intend to read them from cover to cover, until I find...
Aw.
Listen to me prattling on.
It's Jack, isn't it?
It's only been a day.
I hope it doesn't hurt this much in a week.
Honey, may I give you a piece of ageless wisdom
culled from these volumes?
Time heals all wounds.
I know how it feels.
Believe me.
We barely had time to know each other.
But the time that you had was highly concentrated.
It's the concentrate they make concentrate from.
[AUDREY CHUCKLES]
I'm afraid I'll never see him again.
Jack is a man of his word.
And if he said that he'd be back, then he will be back.
I promise you.
Daddy, you can't promise me, but thanks for wanting to.
I actually came here to update you on my trip to Seattle.
Right. Update away.
Okay.
The Packards are using Twin Peaks Savings and Loan
to funnel cash to the Ghostwood project.
But the bank is keeping a very low profile.
It seems they don't want any bad publicity.
Oh, they don't?
Well, bad publicity is exactly what they're gonna get.
Audrey, have you given any more thought
to, uh, the Miss Twin Peaks Pageant?
Daddy...
[SIGHS]
From the bottom of my heart,
I don't wanna be the town bathing beauty.
I understand.
But Miss Twin Peaks is the ultimate local forum.
Audrey.
It would truly be inspirational
to have a winner with a political sensibility
that extends beyond makeup strategies
and, uh, recipes for cherry pie, huh?
Now, as you know,
each contestant gives a speech to the, uh, assembled town.
This year's theme concerns our immediate environment.
And what we must do to preserve it.
I know there's another way to do this, Daddy.
Audrey, make the speech.
Help stop Ghostwood.
And take us to a better day.
Has he taken his eyes off it yet?
Not today.
And before you ask,
we still got people out combing the woods for Major Briggs.
Harry, considering their mutual connection to Project Blue Book,
I believe that Windom Earle has targeted the major.
- What for? MAN: Interesting.
I don't know.
But with your permission, I'd like to speak out loud.
COOPER: Windom Earle has been seeking access to the Black Lodge
as far back as 1965.
This chess game may involve
more pieces than we've begun to imagine.
Then of course, there's the mysterious circumstances
surrounding Josie's death to consider.
What about them? Consider them how?
When she died-- I'm sorry I didn't mention this before, Harry,
but I had to take into account your mental state.
What is it?
She was trembling with fear.
I would go as far as to say quaking like an animal.
I might venture a guess to say that it was the fear that killed her.
At the moment of her death...
...I saw Bob.
As if he had slipped in through some crevice in time.
Upon reflection, I believe there's a connection
between his appearance and Josie's fear.
As if he was attracted to it.
COOPER: Feeding off it somehow.
You see a connection between Bob and the Black Lodge?
Harry, I think it's where he comes from.
I think that the Black Lodge is what you have referred to in the past
as "the evil in these woods."
If Windom Earle is seeking access to that,
it is imperative that we find our way in before he does.
There's a source of great power there, Harry.
Far beyond our ability to comprehend.
Eureka!
Dale, I could kiss your pointy little head.
Mwah. Ha, ha.
It's fear.
It's fear, Leo. That's the key.
My favorite emotional state.
And all this time, it's been staring me right in the kisser.
Leo, it's marvelous, a perfect fit.
These night creatures that hover on the edge of our nightmares
are drawn to us when we radiate fear.
It's their bread and butter.
A perfect symbiosis.
Oh, nature, perfect in design and aspects.
You do not disappoint!
Leo, look lively.
Victory is at hand.
We know where the entrance is. We know when the lock appears.
Now we hold the key in our hands.
Forgive my hasty departure, dear one.
The time has come to gather my beloved queen
and embark upon our dark honeymoon.
I haven't been this excited since I punctured Caroline's aorta.
Leo, we must share a final sentiment.
During our time together in this verdant bower,
I must confess, I've developed something of a fondness for you.
Sounding board, companion,
ever obedient and faithful.
An overall A for effort, Leo.
But I'm still a trifle miffed at your release of Major Briggs.
But then, you'll have plenty of time to reflect upon that, won't you?
Goodbye, Leo.
And good luck.
One and two and three, step four.
And one and two-- Let the mood carry you.
Don't be afraid of your vulnerability. Show me more leg.
What kind of a dance is this supposed to be, Mr. Pinkle?
It's a dance of nature, my friend.
It's a celebration. All right, girls.
Now, turn around and bend forward
like a sapling. A sapling in the wind.
That's it. A little bit more, and hold it.
What exactly are we celebrating with us all bending over like this?
[ALL GIGGLE]
Don't ever question the vision of your choreographer!
You are but a petal on my rose.
Now, please, people. On the count of one.
One and two and three and four.
And one and two
- and three and four... - I love a chorus line. Ha, ha.
If we could just focus here for a second.
I've gotta get back to the diner.
Now, what qualities do we think best exemplify Miss Twin Peaks?
Um, beauty and power.
That's the way I like them.
Poise and, God help us, a sophistication
and breeding.
Well, I think a major factor should be originality.
Well, wouldn't that fall under talent?
It's always nice when it does. Ha, ha.
Personally, I've always been big on style.
I think this is enough for me to work with,
so I'm gonna go back and work up the scoresheets,
- and I'll see you tonight. MAN 1: Mm-hm.
- Terrific. - Bye.
MAN 2: And three and four.
Okay, that's a break, team.
Hi, Dick. We're on break.
Hi, Lana.
Would you mind helping me find something in the storage room?
- Storage room? LANA: Mm-hm.
We're missing a very important prop.
Come on.
[CHUCKLES]
DICK: I'm having trouble.
LANA: Well, just flick it.
Now, what exactly did you need to find?
- Lana? - Oh, did I do that?
What are you looking for?
Well, now, I don't know the exact technical name for it, but...
Does anything--? Does anything in here look like it?
LANA: Oh, I think this might be it.
DICK: Oh, by George, I think you've got it.
Diane, it's 1:17 p.m. I have just concluded
my second meditation of the day in lieu of sleep.
And I feel completely refreshed and struck again by the realization
that all of us on this great big planet Earth
live at only a fraction of our potential.
We are working round the clock on the cave petroglyph.
I am certain that the answers lie in this mysterious etching.
I am also convinced that Windom Earle
is searching for exactly the same thing as we are
for diametrically opposite reasons.
If I'm correct in my assumptions about the power of this unholy place,
God help us if he gets there first.
Diane, at this particular juncture,
I would like to make specific mention of Annie Blackburn.
She is a completely original human being.
Her responses, as pure as those of a child.
I must be honest, I haven't felt this way about a woman since Caroline.
It has taken meeting Annie for me to realize
how gray my life has been since Caroline's death.
How cold and solitary.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
Although occasionally,
there is something to be said for solitude.
Annie Blackburn, you have almost perfect timing.
That's not what our choreographer says.
What can I do for you?
Well, I need to, uh, give a speech in six hours.
I haven't written a word,
and, uh, I don't have any idea what I wanna say.
I'm in a complete sweaty-palmed panic,
and I need to talk to someone, namely you.
What's your topic?
What you can do to save our local forests.
I just don't wanna stand up there like some deranged Barbie doll,
saying things like, "Make sure your campfires are out,
kind of like my brain."
- You're terrified of public speaking. - Yes. Ha, ha.
All right, well...
...our forests need saving because of the way people regard them.
Expendable.
If the Ghostwood development cost thousands of lives,
do you think it would have a chance of going forward?
Well, trees aren't the same as people.
But they are alive.
Your forest is beautiful and peaceful.
Part of it's been damaged.
I've tried to replant, but nothing's taken root.
Every forest has its shadow.
I can see half my life's history in your face,
and I'm not sure that I want to.
I don't wanna talk about trees anymore.
All I know is, I wanna make love with you.
And this is me with last year's regional champion from Yakima.
He was cute, but a little slow. Next.
Oh, and this is me with Brock Farmington,
triple-A champion from Spokane.
Superior upper-body strength,
and quads like bridge supports.
I pinned him in a minute five.
Next.
Oh, this is me with all the stuff I won.
WOMAN: That's nice. MAN 1: Way to go.
MAN 2: Thank you, Nadine.
Well, ahem, now,
I suppose all of you are wondering just why we've gathered here today.
See, I learned that, uh, when a couple is contemplating div--
Uh-- Uh-- Uh, breaking up,
well, um, uh, sometimes it's easier to talk about our feelings, uh,
when we're around other people.
So, uh, Nadine, maybe you'd like to begin.
Okay.
Um, well, I guess it all started
when I noticed Mike's buns in the hall at school.
MAN 2: Yes, um,
well, how are you feeling now?
Well, a little guilty, I guess.
I mean, Mike and I are hot.
And Miss Twin Peaks is tonight,
and Mr. Pinkle thinks I'm a show-business natural.
Well, I mean, because I'm so happy,
I worry about Ed being sad.
Ed, is there something that you'd like to tell Nadine?
Nadine...
...Norma and I plan on getting married.
Really?
Well, that's wonderful, Eddie,
because Mike and me are getting married too.
[BONES CRACKING]
[SCREAMS]
[GRUNTING]
Which way is the castle?
- I waited for you. - Thanks, Harry.
Not that he's too talkative.
He checks out okay physically. Doc ran some blood tests.
He's been shot full of haloperidol.
Right.
Garland?
Did Windom Earle do this to you?
Garland?
Odd name.
Judy Garland?
Was it Windom Earle?
It was God, I suppose.
COOPER: Garland, where did he take you?
The woods?
Can you be more specific?
They were lovely.
Dark. The king of Romania was unable to attend.
Harry, this is gonna take some time.
- How much time we got? - Not enough.
Let's leave him here with us. Maybe something will bubble up.
Harry, we're in trouble.
If the door to the Black Lodge does exist,
it probably exists at a point in time.
Now, an object, such as a door,
normally exists at a point in time and space.
By way of contrast,
a shooting star normally exists at a point in time
over a continuum of space.
But taken from the star's point of view, it's a completely different experience.
You just lost me.
If we're not at the right place at exactly the right time,
we won't find our way in.
ANDY: Sheriff?
Could the Four-H Club have anything to do with all of this?
Doubtful, Andy.
[MAN GRUNTS]
This has to be the last box. Look at it.
WOMAN: I can't take any more of this.
Boxes inside boxes.
Whatever is in that better be worth a fortune.
Maybe it's not a box at all.
Maybe it's just a block of stainless steel.
- Eckhardt's last little joke. - It'd be a good one.
Let's channel some of that high wit into the job.
Again.
MAN: I can't believe a little crumb like that
can stand up to this Cram Jack all-duty vise.
On three. One, two and three!
[BOTH GRUNT]
I'm sorry, Andrew. That was my fault.
[YELLS]
Dumb boxes!
Andrew!
[LAUGHING]
Darn boxes.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
MAN: Nice shooting, Andrew.
Look at that.
ANDREW: A key!
And where there's a key, there's a lock.
ANDREW: It should be kept safe.
Yes, in plain sight.
You two don't trust each other?
Of course we do.
Like brother, like sister.
How about here?
In the cake saver.
In plain sight.
ANDREW: So we have a key. WOMAN: Yes, we do.
You look truly beautiful.
Read us your speech.
I'd rather talk about the truth right now.
What truth is that?
I know something's going on with you and Benjamin Horne,
and I wanna know what it is.
MAN: Donna, don't talk to your mother like that.
You know, I'm really tired of you talking to me like I'm a child.
I wanna know what's going on.
Donna, I understand your feeling.
But there are some things you just have to trust.
You're young and you don't know all the limitations.
I know the limitations of lying.
I know that you raised me to tell the truth.
I expect the same from you.
If you're not gonna tell me what I need to know,
I'll find out from Benjamin Horne.
- No. - Then tell me.
All right, this is your choice, not mine.
Donna.
Donna!
[DOOR SLAMS]
By heavens.
Andy, take a look at this.
What you mistook for the Four-H Club,
the four and the H, are actually astrological symbols.
- You mean, like planets? - Why, yes, Andy.
They stand for Jupiter and Saturn.
Some of the others represent planets as well,
but this particular part of the puzzle pertains to a precise planetary position.
- Jupiter and Saturn in conjunction. - What's that supposed to mean?
Well, historically, Harry, when Jupiter and Saturn are conjunct,
there are enormous shifts in power and fortune.
Jupiter being expansive in its influence,
Saturn, contractive.
Conjunction suggests a state of intensification, concentration.
What this indicates to me is the potential for explosive change,
- good and bad. - So when's the next conjunction?
Well, now, let's see.
According to the ephemeris...
...the next conjunction is due January to June.
My God, Harry.
The door to the lodge.
That's when it's open. That's what the puzzle is telling us.
It's telling us when it's gonna be open.
Protect the queen.
If it's telling us when, then it must also tell us where.
Fear and love open the doors.
What's he saying?
He said, "Fear and love open the doors."
Two doors, two lodges.
Fear opens one, the black.
- Love, the other. - What's that mean?
I don't know exactly. It just came to me.
How does the queen--?
- Of course, the queen. - Of Romania?
No. The chess game's final piece. Harry, follow my logic.
- If Windom Earle takes the queen-- - Game's not over till he takes the king.
That depends. Maybe he takes her to the doorway when it opens.
TRUMAN: Which queen? - Agent Cooper.
Just a minute, Andy.
The queen. The queen. The crown. The queen.
- Harry, the queen. - Agent Cooper?
Andy, please.
Harry, Miss Twin Peaks.
- Holy smokes, that's it. - Yeah. Yeah.
Agent Cooper, please.
Andy.
Coop, the plant's been bugged.
This bonsai isn't from Josie, Harry.
This bonsai's from Windom Earle.
He's way ahead of us,
and we've been working for him from the beginning.
- What time does that contest start? - Any minute.
Let's go.
ANDY: Agent Cooper. Agent Cooper!
[BIG BAND MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
[GRUNTING]
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen.
I hope you've had a good weekend.
And welcome to the Miss Twin Peaks Pageant,
in which one of these lovely and talented young citizens
will soon be crowned Miss Twin Peaks.
And now, commencing our talent section of the show,
Lucy Moran.
[BIG BAND MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
Come on.
Small town, man.
So, what, did you bring your whole family?
[MAN GROANS]
We're pulling in deputies from all over to surround the place.
They should be here any time.
Harry, it is essential whoever wins this contest receive 24-hour guard,
house security, I want the works.
As soon as she's announced.
Our next entry is Lana Budding-Milford,
who will perform a dance of, uh...
...contortionistic jazz exotica.
- Lana? - Agent Coop--
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
There, my friend, is a real artist.
There is only one way to save a forest, an idea, or anything of value.
And that is by refusing to stand by and watch it die.
There is a law of nature, which is more fundamental to life
than the laws of man.
And when something you care about is in danger,
you must fight to save it
or lose it forever.
Thank you.
MAN: Thank you, Audrey Horne.
Now a brief musical interlude.
Thanks, Daddy.
I'm gonna go out there.
[BIG BAND MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
I wanna know what's going on with you and my mother.
Donna.
Uh...
I, uh, think the wisest course would be,
first of all, just to get together and talk about this.
I don't think so.
Donna, I really don't think this is the time or the place.
Old pictures, Horne bearer bonds in the attic,
love letters to my mom.
I want to tell the truth. I want to do the right thing.
A birth certificate with no father's name on it.
What the hell's going on here, Mr. Horne?
Why won't anyone tell me the truth?
Donna.
Your mother and I...
[GASPS]
You're my father?
Donna.
ANNIE: And to illustrate my point,
I'd like to quote these words from Chief Seattle,
leader of the Suquamish tribe:
"Your dead are soon forgotten and never return.
Our dead never forget the beautiful world that gave them being.
They still love its verdant valleys,
its murmuring rivers, its majestic mountains.
When the last red man has vanished from this earth,
these forests and shores will still hold their spirits."
For the Indians love the earth
as a newborn loves its mother's heartbeat.
Why have we all lost touch with this beauty?
Maybe saving a forest starts with preserving some of the feelings
that die inside us every day.
Those parts of ourselves that we deny.
For if we cannot respect that interior land,
then neither can we respect the land we walk.
So let us, in walking gently upon the earth,
leave behind a simple legacy.
That we're new warriors,
mystic warriors who love the earth
and tried to save it.
Thank you very much.
MAN: Thanks to all our contestants.
Balloting will now commence, and we will then announce our winner.
Have you both forgotten what day this is?
Miss Twin Peaks Day?
Today is the day my unborn child receives a dad.
It was right on the tip of my tongue.
I have decided
that regardless of which individual is biologically responsible,
that I want Andy to be the father of my child.
Really?
I'm sorry, Dick, but I just have to do what's best for little what's-his-name.
DICK: Oh, no, not at all. A sound choice.
Heartiest congratulations, dearest Andrew.
Now, if you'll both excuse me, I do have a vote to cast myself.
Here's to the children. Ha, ha.
Don't sound so disappointed.
My God, Lucy.
I'm so honored you made this decision.
And I promise I'll be a great father.
But right now
I've got to find Agent Cooper.
Men.
It is time to make the announcement.
The winner of the contest
and our new Miss Twin Peaks is...
[DRUM ROLL]
...Annie Blackburn.
[SCREAMING]
[BIG BAND MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
MAN: Ladies and gentlemen, your new Miss Twin Peaks!
This is an outrage.
She's been living in this town about 15 minutes.
And what the hell got into you?
She gave a beautiful speech.
Inherent in her message were words
even the most craven of us can ill afford to ignore.
[ALL YELLING]
WOMAN: What's happening?
[ALL SCREAMING]
MAN: Everybody, please, please, stay calm.
[GRUNTS]
MAN: Good Lord.
This way.
[BEEPS]
TRUMAN: Settle down. Everybody settle down. Don't panic! This way.
- I will help you. ANNIE: Aah!
COOPER: Annie?
- Harry. - What?
- He took Annie. - What?
He got Annie.
Bastard. He won't get half a mile from here. We'll get him.
Agent Cooper, I've been looking all over for you.
Andy, they're gonna need you outside.
ANDY: This is important.
That cave painting in the office, I finally figured it out.
- What? - I knew I'd seen it someplace before.
I know where it's telling us to go.
It's not a puzzle at all.
It's a map.