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00:00:02,005 --> 00:00:05,525
Er, good evening, good evening.
I hope you like my new suit.
2
00:00:05,525 --> 00:00:08,685
I bought it with the proceeds
from Captain Tom's latest book.
3
00:00:08,685 --> 00:00:10,725
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
4
00:00:12,085 --> 00:00:16,765
This programme contains
some strong language
5
00:00:37,125 --> 00:00:39,285
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
6
00:00:49,325 --> 00:00:52,565
Good evening and welcome
to Have I Got News For You.
7
00:00:52,565 --> 00:00:53,925
I'm Alexander Armstrong.
8
00:00:53,925 --> 00:00:55,965
In the news this week, in Liverpool,
9
00:00:55,965 --> 00:00:58,285
during Keir Starmer's
riveting speech,
10
00:00:58,285 --> 00:01:00,965
one man who tries to leave early is
quietly escorted back to his seat.
11
00:01:06,405 --> 00:01:10,645
After the IOC confirmed a host of
new sports for the 2028 Olympics,
12
00:01:10,645 --> 00:01:13,765
organisers deny that some of the
events are getting a little obscure.
13
00:01:22,245 --> 00:01:24,525
And as he visits the
Royal Millinery,
14
00:01:24,525 --> 00:01:27,365
King Charles has concerns that
the hat they're proposing he
15
00:01:27,365 --> 00:01:30,325
wears for his state visit to Ireland
might be a little unsuitable.
16
00:01:37,565 --> 00:01:39,365
On Ian's team tonight
is a journalist
17
00:01:39,365 --> 00:01:42,285
and broadcaster for GB News
whose first political memory
18
00:01:42,285 --> 00:01:46,245
is of her family gathering round
the television back in 2003,
19
00:01:46,245 --> 00:01:48,525
popcorn at the ready, to watch
the result
20
00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:51,045
of the confidence vote
in Iain Duncan Smith.
21
00:01:51,045 --> 00:01:54,365
Well, that's how bad TV was
until Pointless came along.
22
00:01:54,365 --> 00:01:55,765
Please welcome Olivia Utley.
23
00:01:55,765 --> 00:01:57,685
APPLAUSE
24
00:02:00,645 --> 00:02:03,525
On Paul's team tonight is a
comedian and actor who appeared
25
00:02:03,525 --> 00:02:07,205
in the film Journey's End, or,
as it's now known, Old Oak Common.
26
00:02:07,205 --> 00:02:09,445
Please welcome Miles Jupp.
27
00:02:09,445 --> 00:02:12,165
APPLAUSE
28
00:02:14,045 --> 00:02:17,245
We begin with the bigger
news stories of the week,
29
00:02:17,245 --> 00:02:20,285
apart from THAT one
because it's just too awful.
30
00:02:20,285 --> 00:02:22,125
Ian and Olivia, have a look at this.
31
00:02:23,685 --> 00:02:25,285
Ooh, it's Sir Blair Starmer.
32
00:02:26,725 --> 00:02:29,165
Rachel Reeves in an unlikely blue.
33
00:02:29,165 --> 00:02:31,365
Oh, and... Oh...
34
00:02:31,365 --> 00:02:33,805
Keir Starmer getting
a great makeover.
35
00:02:33,805 --> 00:02:36,005
LAUGHTER
36
00:02:36,005 --> 00:02:39,005
So that was the Labour Party
conference in Liverpool,
37
00:02:39,005 --> 00:02:42,925
where the most exciting moment was
Keir Starmer getting glitted.
38
00:02:42,925 --> 00:02:45,765
The protester, no-one quite knows
what he was actually protesting
39
00:02:45,765 --> 00:02:47,965
cos it was very long and
complicated. Yes, yes.
40
00:02:47,965 --> 00:02:51,285
And he was still explaining it
as he was being dragged past us.
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00:02:51,285 --> 00:02:54,165
I thought it was someone from
Just Stop Strictly.
42
00:02:54,165 --> 00:02:56,765
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
43
00:02:59,405 --> 00:03:01,685
I'm actually dressed up
as Keir Starmer
44
00:03:01,685 --> 00:03:04,245
in the glitter and the red. Oh, God!
45
00:03:04,245 --> 00:03:06,725
Starmer wouldn't be wearing red!
HE SCOFFS
46
00:03:08,445 --> 00:03:10,245
What was the point
of the glitter, though?
47
00:03:10,245 --> 00:03:11,645
Was it to add a level of interest?
48
00:03:11,645 --> 00:03:14,445
I mean, it made Starmer look great.
Everyone around me was saying,
49
00:03:14,445 --> 00:03:16,445
"Doesn't he look great?"
"Beautiful, yes."
50
00:03:16,445 --> 00:03:18,605
But he had to take his jacket off,
which...
51
00:03:18,605 --> 00:03:20,365
It looked slightly rehearsed.
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00:03:20,365 --> 00:03:25,685
So, suddenly, it was Keir gets down
to work, shirtsleeves, no jacket,
53
00:03:25,685 --> 00:03:27,765
not formal, not posh.
54
00:03:27,765 --> 00:03:30,645
And I think it was rehearsed because
he'd ironed his shirtsleeves
55
00:03:30,645 --> 00:03:33,565
and whoever does that unless they're
planning to take the jacket off?
56
00:03:33,565 --> 00:03:35,445
Oh, you think this was
choreographed? Yeah.
57
00:03:35,445 --> 00:03:37,605
I think it was chor...
Well, no, I don't really, but...
58
00:03:37,605 --> 00:03:39,525
Well, GB News,
they like a conspiracy theory.
59
00:03:39,525 --> 00:03:40,605
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
60
00:03:40,605 --> 00:03:42,125
Oh, no, we start!
61
00:03:45,125 --> 00:03:47,845
Yes, the guy who did it,
The Sun referred to him as...
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00:03:49,365 --> 00:03:51,205
LAUGHTER
63
00:03:51,205 --> 00:03:52,645
A sequin, surely?
64
00:03:54,285 --> 00:03:58,565
Not really clear why he did it,
but here is the moment it happened.
65
00:03:58,565 --> 00:04:00,325
Looks like he's in the cosmos.
66
00:04:00,325 --> 00:04:02,165
Yes, it does, actually, doesn't it?
67
00:04:02,165 --> 00:04:05,845
How did he penetrate the ring
of steel around Keir Starmer?
68
00:04:05,845 --> 00:04:09,605
Oh, the security at Labour
conference was unbelievable.
69
00:04:09,605 --> 00:04:12,165
Tory Party conference,
there was airport security. Yeah.
70
00:04:12,165 --> 00:04:14,765
None of that at Labour.
I am not surprised he got in.
71
00:04:14,765 --> 00:04:16,925
Well, then, how did
Liz Truss get in?
72
00:04:16,925 --> 00:04:19,765
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
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00:04:19,765 --> 00:04:22,925
According to Tom Peck
in the Independent,
74
00:04:22,925 --> 00:04:25,325
before the glitter,
Keir was described as...
75
00:04:30,685 --> 00:04:31,965
..and then afterwards...
76
00:04:41,725 --> 00:04:44,205
They're just very good with
families, Pizza Express, really.
77
00:04:44,205 --> 00:04:45,285
They just look after you.
78
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:47,165
Do they?
They bring the crayons straight out.
79
00:04:47,165 --> 00:04:48,765
There's always something to do. Yes.
80
00:04:48,765 --> 00:04:51,245
You can vape in the toilets,
all that.
81
00:04:51,245 --> 00:04:52,485
Yes.
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00:04:52,485 --> 00:04:54,805
And they're very good
at providing alibis.
83
00:04:54,805 --> 00:04:58,005
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
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00:04:58,005 --> 00:04:59,885
With very thin bases.
85
00:05:02,325 --> 00:05:05,045
What was Keir's big idea
at the conference?
86
00:05:05,045 --> 00:05:07,525
His big idea was to
become Prime Minister.
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00:05:08,645 --> 00:05:10,445
Yes, how is he backing that up?
88
00:05:10,445 --> 00:05:11,485
Housing.
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00:05:11,485 --> 00:05:13,005
Yes, building loads of houses.
90
00:05:13,005 --> 00:05:14,885
And where's he going
to build these houses?
91
00:05:14,885 --> 00:05:16,205
Beautiful places.
92
00:05:16,205 --> 00:05:18,645
Yes.
Next to people who object to it.
93
00:05:20,085 --> 00:05:21,765
It's not on the green belt.
94
00:05:21,765 --> 00:05:22,805
The brown belt?
95
00:05:22,805 --> 00:05:24,045
No, no, no. More...
96
00:05:24,045 --> 00:05:26,045
Oh, one of the belts. Erm...
97
00:05:26,045 --> 00:05:29,325
Is there a black belt?
Black belt, yeah! No!
98
00:05:29,325 --> 00:05:32,525
The grey belt. Well, it seems
very Keir, doesn't it?
99
00:05:32,525 --> 00:05:35,285
Yes, Keir Starmer wants to recreate
the heady atmosphere
100
00:05:35,285 --> 00:05:37,885
of the new towns, the sunlit uplands
of Stevenage...
101
00:05:37,885 --> 00:05:39,765
Milton Keynes.
..Crawley, Milton Keynes.
102
00:05:39,765 --> 00:05:42,325
Can we remember any of the other
new towns? Basildon, Bracknell.
103
00:05:42,325 --> 00:05:43,725
When I worked at the civil service,
104
00:05:43,725 --> 00:05:46,005
I was in charge of the new town
scheme. So you know all of this.
105
00:05:46,005 --> 00:05:48,045
So for the first time in the
history of this programme,
106
00:05:48,045 --> 00:05:50,325
I know what I'm talking about.
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
107
00:05:50,325 --> 00:05:51,445
So let's have four more.
108
00:05:51,445 --> 00:05:54,045
Four more? Four more. Well...
109
00:05:54,045 --> 00:05:56,165
Thank you for that
round of applause,
110
00:05:56,165 --> 00:05:57,845
that makes me feel a lot better.
111
00:05:57,845 --> 00:05:59,845
But it was new and
expanded town schemes
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00:05:59,845 --> 00:06:01,365
so Hastings was one of them as well.
113
00:06:01,365 --> 00:06:03,045
Skelmersdale. Was it?
I don't remember that.
114
00:06:03,045 --> 00:06:05,325
Welwyn Garden City. Welwyn
Garden City, yes. Yes, lovely.
115
00:06:05,325 --> 00:06:07,365
And just one pointless answer
and that was Newtown,
116
00:06:07,365 --> 00:06:09,605
so well done if you got that
at home.
117
00:06:09,605 --> 00:06:13,125
And horrors, Ian, how did Labour
snub the private schools?
118
00:06:13,125 --> 00:06:17,685
They said they're going
to increase VAT on the fees,
119
00:06:17,685 --> 00:06:20,205
but they're not going to take
away their charitable status.
120
00:06:20,205 --> 00:06:22,725
Yeah, but, I mean, look at the
people that public schools turn out.
121
00:06:22,725 --> 00:06:24,325
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
122
00:06:24,325 --> 00:06:25,885
LAUGHTER
123
00:06:28,965 --> 00:06:30,925
Did anyone here
go to private school?
124
00:06:30,925 --> 00:06:32,765
Yes. Yes. Yes.
125
00:06:32,765 --> 00:06:33,805
OLIVIA: No.
126
00:06:33,805 --> 00:06:35,725
My school was so bad
we kept it private.
127
00:06:37,245 --> 00:06:39,925
Olivia, how do you think
Wes Streeting will shape up
128
00:06:39,925 --> 00:06:41,165
as Health Secretary?
129
00:06:41,165 --> 00:06:43,805
I mean, you've got a pretty good
record of spotting a good 'un.
130
00:06:45,085 --> 00:06:46,125
You look puzzled.
131
00:06:46,125 --> 00:06:49,005
Here is what you once wrote
about Matt Hancock. Oh, God!
132
00:06:51,965 --> 00:06:53,805
GROANING AND LAUGHTER
133
00:07:02,565 --> 00:07:04,525
I was 21!
134
00:07:04,525 --> 00:07:07,045
I was going to say I think
Wes Streeting's rather good
135
00:07:07,045 --> 00:07:09,645
so that's not good news for
Wes Streeting, I would say!
136
00:07:09,645 --> 00:07:12,285
But Rachel Reeves,
I mean, my goodness,
137
00:07:12,285 --> 00:07:14,605
she's been presenting herself
as a very tough cookie.
138
00:07:14,605 --> 00:07:16,245
Look at her severe bob.
139
00:07:16,245 --> 00:07:19,085
They all have the same severe bob.
Bridget Phillipson's got it too.
140
00:07:19,085 --> 00:07:21,765
Severe Bob sounds
like a prisoner in C wing.
141
00:07:21,765 --> 00:07:24,365
Yeah. Much experience
of C wing, do we? Yeah.
142
00:07:24,365 --> 00:07:28,925
You go to a school like mine,
you know a lot of people there.
143
00:07:28,925 --> 00:07:31,965
She was definitely spoiling for
a fight with the Conservatives,
144
00:07:31,965 --> 00:07:36,605
but watch out for
Ed "Am I Tough Enuss?" Miliband
145
00:07:36,605 --> 00:07:38,005
on the edge of this row.
146
00:07:38,005 --> 00:07:41,765
If the party that has herded
our children into Portakabins
147
00:07:41,765 --> 00:07:46,045
while our school roofs crumble
wants a fight about who has
148
00:07:46,045 --> 00:07:51,605
the most aspiration for our
children, then I say bring it on.
149
00:07:51,605 --> 00:07:53,565
APPLAUSE
150
00:07:53,565 --> 00:07:55,885
STUDIO LAUGHTER
151
00:07:58,765 --> 00:08:00,725
Oh...
152
00:08:00,725 --> 00:08:03,325
Mind you, he geed himself up
for a bit of a scrap later.
153
00:08:03,325 --> 00:08:04,445
Have a look at this.
154
00:08:04,445 --> 00:08:06,005
I've got an idea, friends.
155
00:08:06,005 --> 00:08:08,925
Let's send these Tories
where they belong.
156
00:08:08,925 --> 00:08:12,245
Let's recycle them from
government to opposition
157
00:08:12,245 --> 00:08:16,565
and let's chuck them into
the seven dustbins of history!
158
00:08:16,565 --> 00:08:18,485
APPLAUSE
159
00:08:18,485 --> 00:08:21,245
Oh, that's the seven
dustbins of history?!
160
00:08:21,245 --> 00:08:23,005
I've read that!
161
00:08:23,005 --> 00:08:24,245
What is that?
162
00:08:24,245 --> 00:08:25,765
OLIVIA: Oh, I just got that joke.
163
00:08:25,765 --> 00:08:27,725
It was the seven bins thing,
wasn't it? Yeah.
164
00:08:27,725 --> 00:08:28,885
I forgot that was a thing.
165
00:08:28,885 --> 00:08:30,965
He picked up something
that Rishi said
166
00:08:30,965 --> 00:08:33,685
and then turned it round into
something that wasn't a joke.
167
00:08:33,685 --> 00:08:35,645
It probably looked
quite clever on paper.
168
00:08:35,645 --> 00:08:38,445
Some serious issues were discussed
at the Labour conference, though.
169
00:08:38,445 --> 00:08:40,205
What does Angela Rayner,
for example,
170
00:08:40,205 --> 00:08:42,645
insist is the best way
to liven up a party?
171
00:08:42,645 --> 00:08:44,405
Ecstasy? Venom.
172
00:08:45,405 --> 00:08:48,045
Venom? Venom consists of...
173
00:08:55,525 --> 00:08:57,245
Pah, an aperitif!
174
00:08:59,845 --> 00:09:04,165
Maybe Shadow Science Minister Peter
Kyle had a couple of jugs too many
175
00:09:04,165 --> 00:09:06,645
of venom the night
before this speech.
176
00:09:06,645 --> 00:09:12,725
Our potential has been squandered
by 13 years of Labour Government.
177
00:09:12,725 --> 00:09:15,125
SHOCKED LAUGHTER
178
00:09:15,125 --> 00:09:17,805
APPLAUSE
179
00:09:17,805 --> 00:09:20,045
He COULD be a visitor
from the future!
180
00:09:22,405 --> 00:09:24,285
Actually, I was terrified
by how well informed
181
00:09:24,285 --> 00:09:26,645
the people inside the
Labour conference were.
182
00:09:26,645 --> 00:09:28,845
They all knew what a non-dom was.
183
00:09:28,845 --> 00:09:30,925
Yes, now that was one
bit of the speech that
184
00:09:30,925 --> 00:09:33,445
went down incredibly badly
with the newspapers,
185
00:09:33,445 --> 00:09:37,365
who are largely owned by non-doms -
186
00:09:37,365 --> 00:09:38,725
proprietors who don't live here
187
00:09:38,725 --> 00:09:41,085
and don't pay as much taxes
as perhaps they should do.
188
00:09:41,085 --> 00:09:42,565
Anyway, they hated that idea.
189
00:09:42,565 --> 00:09:44,325
Do you think that's a bad idea?
190
00:09:45,645 --> 00:09:47,725
LAUGHTER
191
00:09:47,725 --> 00:09:49,805
One of them will be
buying your station.
192
00:09:51,765 --> 00:09:54,405
Yeah. I don't think it will
raise quite as much as they hoped.
193
00:09:54,405 --> 00:09:57,005
Who have the Labour Party
appointed to help co-ordinate
194
00:09:57,005 --> 00:09:59,965
their plans to protect women
from harassment in the workplace?
195
00:09:59,965 --> 00:10:01,365
Severe Bob.
196
00:10:01,365 --> 00:10:02,685
Yeah.
197
00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:07,285
Not Severe Bob. Boris Johnson's
ex-wife. Oh, yeah, Marina Wheeler.
198
00:10:07,285 --> 00:10:09,685
Yes. In a demonstration
that the Labour Party
199
00:10:09,685 --> 00:10:11,925
do have a sense of humour,
200
00:10:11,925 --> 00:10:15,005
they have appointed her in charge
of antiharassment
201
00:10:15,005 --> 00:10:16,405
and protection of women.
202
00:10:16,405 --> 00:10:17,445
That's right.
203
00:10:17,445 --> 00:10:20,245
An area where she has
some experience.
204
00:10:20,245 --> 00:10:23,325
That was a carefully
worded statement. It was, yes.
205
00:10:23,325 --> 00:10:26,125
All I wanted to say was...
206
00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:28,485
..hah, hah, hah, hah, hah, hah, hah,
hah, hah!
207
00:10:28,485 --> 00:10:32,445
Yes, this is the Labour conference
where Keir Starmer's speech
208
00:10:32,445 --> 00:10:35,085
was interrupted by a protester
who threw a handful of sparkling
209
00:10:35,085 --> 00:10:36,565
glitter over the Labour leader.
210
00:10:36,565 --> 00:10:38,285
It is the only time a Starmer speech
211
00:10:38,285 --> 00:10:40,885
and the word "sparkling" have been
used in the same sentence.
212
00:10:40,885 --> 00:10:44,365
Labour's Shadow Health Minister
Wes Streeting told the conference...
213
00:10:48,005 --> 00:10:51,325
If they're really lucky, they could
attend the grand opening of HS2.
214
00:10:51,325 --> 00:10:55,405
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
215
00:10:55,405 --> 00:10:58,645
In other news,
according to Wales Online,
216
00:10:58,645 --> 00:11:00,445
Welsh First Minister
Mark Drakeford...
217
00:11:02,805 --> 00:11:04,365
But only at 20mph.
218
00:11:05,525 --> 00:11:08,525
Paul and Miles, take a look at this.
219
00:11:08,525 --> 00:11:11,005
Oh, this is the Tory
party conference.
220
00:11:12,245 --> 00:11:15,485
Bedbugs. Cartoon character
dragged out of bed by a bedbug.
221
00:11:15,485 --> 00:11:16,805
Oh, God.
222
00:11:16,805 --> 00:11:18,965
I think I used to go out with her.
223
00:11:20,005 --> 00:11:21,325
This is the bedbugs story.
224
00:11:21,325 --> 00:11:23,805
There is an infestation,
they are coming over here. They are.
225
00:11:23,805 --> 00:11:26,365
These bedbugs. And they're hurting
British bottoms. Yes.
226
00:11:26,365 --> 00:11:28,125
From France. From France.
227
00:11:28,125 --> 00:11:30,365
And they're not being stopped.
228
00:11:30,365 --> 00:11:33,805
No... They've come by Eurotunnel
because it's cheaper
229
00:11:33,805 --> 00:11:35,725
because you just pay for
the one car, not...
230
00:11:35,725 --> 00:11:38,045
Not the number of inhabitants.
231
00:11:38,045 --> 00:11:40,165
Apparently, all of the panic
is sort of unwarranted
232
00:11:40,165 --> 00:11:43,005
because the experts keep telling us
there isn't a swarm of bedbugs,
233
00:11:43,005 --> 00:11:44,685
they've always actually been there.
234
00:11:44,685 --> 00:11:46,965
Is this GB News
agreeing with the experts?
235
00:11:49,605 --> 00:11:52,805
Bugageddon... Bugageddon.
..is what we are now...
236
00:11:52,805 --> 00:11:55,685
That's a nightclub in Soho,
isn't it?
237
00:11:55,685 --> 00:11:57,125
I've been there.
238
00:11:57,125 --> 00:11:59,445
According to the Telegraph,
once in the UK...
239
00:12:03,765 --> 00:12:06,805
Finally, some good news for anyone
living north of Birmingham.
240
00:12:09,845 --> 00:12:11,725
The Guardian has revealed
there were...
241
00:12:15,205 --> 00:12:17,045
And here is a confirmed sighting,
in fact,
242
00:12:17,045 --> 00:12:19,005
of a creepy-crawly in Liverpool
this week.
243
00:12:20,965 --> 00:12:23,085
In case you don't know
what to look out for,
244
00:12:23,085 --> 00:12:25,485
the Guardian provided this
useful picture of a bedbug.
245
00:12:27,205 --> 00:12:28,485
And in case you see one moving,
246
00:12:28,485 --> 00:12:30,445
here is an action shot
from the Guardian also.
247
00:12:32,845 --> 00:12:35,445
They look very happy, the bugs.
Well, of course they are.
248
00:12:35,445 --> 00:12:38,245
They've got a suitcase full of booze
and they're on their way to work.
249
00:12:39,885 --> 00:12:41,725
The Mirror had this headline.
250
00:12:45,645 --> 00:12:48,445
Do bedbugs have nationalities,
then?
251
00:12:48,445 --> 00:12:49,965
Oh, these definitely do. They do?
252
00:12:49,965 --> 00:12:52,725
Yes. It's a worrying thing tonight,
"Don't let the bedbugs bite."
253
00:12:52,725 --> 00:12:55,085
You said it as if it was a thing
that didn't really happen.
254
00:12:55,085 --> 00:12:57,005
And then you think,
maybe there's other things
255
00:12:57,005 --> 00:12:59,445
we say all the time that we have
to start meaning. Yes.
256
00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:01,605
Like, "I hope you are well."
257
00:13:03,805 --> 00:13:05,605
"How very nice to hear from you."
258
00:13:06,605 --> 00:13:09,045
"I'll reply to your email shortly."
259
00:13:09,045 --> 00:13:11,645
We've got to go back and comb
through all of our platitudes
260
00:13:11,645 --> 00:13:13,925
and check what else, you know,
could be out there.
261
00:13:13,925 --> 00:13:15,045
Mm. Back to the headlines.
262
00:13:15,045 --> 00:13:17,365
That's an interesting statement,
we are going to be invaded
263
00:13:17,365 --> 00:13:20,085
by bedbugs and you said, "We've got
to comb through our platitudes."
264
00:13:21,485 --> 00:13:23,485
Leave no stone unturned. Yeah.
265
00:13:23,485 --> 00:13:25,085
And back to the headlines.
266
00:13:25,085 --> 00:13:26,525
Yes. Sorry.
267
00:13:26,525 --> 00:13:28,165
The Daily Star went with...
268
00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:34,365
And the Daily Mail opted for...
269
00:13:40,125 --> 00:13:41,645
What is wrong with that headline?
270
00:13:41,645 --> 00:13:43,965
Bedfordshire isn't the hot spot
of infestation.
271
00:13:43,965 --> 00:13:45,485
No. It's Hertfordshire,
272
00:13:45,485 --> 00:13:48,005
that's where they've had
the highest. Yeah, that's...
273
00:13:48,005 --> 00:13:50,365
You do know stuff,
don't you, Miles?
274
00:13:50,365 --> 00:13:53,165
I... Every now and then I wake up
and take a real interest.
275
00:13:55,445 --> 00:13:57,085
You'll spot when it happens.
276
00:13:57,085 --> 00:14:00,445
Happily, bedbugs haven't stopped
this Scottish rugby fan
277
00:14:00,445 --> 00:14:02,725
from having a whale of a time
in France.
278
00:14:02,725 --> 00:14:04,365
What do you want to say
to World Rugby?
279
00:14:04,365 --> 00:14:07,525
I want to say to World Rugby, I've
been on the lash for five weeks,
280
00:14:07,525 --> 00:14:08,765
like, you know?
281
00:14:08,765 --> 00:14:11,685
It started with a wee golf
tournament down in Vilamoura.
282
00:14:11,685 --> 00:14:13,525
And that was magic, right?
283
00:14:13,525 --> 00:14:15,325
And then I jumped over to Marseille,
284
00:14:15,325 --> 00:14:17,165
and I couldn't believe it
when I got there
285
00:14:17,165 --> 00:14:20,525
because they were filling us full
of the old bevvy, you know I mean?
286
00:14:20,525 --> 00:14:22,485
And I've been on the lash
for four weeks.
287
00:14:22,485 --> 00:14:25,005
I've been through the Chablis,
doing the wine cellars,
288
00:14:25,005 --> 00:14:26,485
had a brilliant time,
289
00:14:26,485 --> 00:14:27,685
a brilliant time!
290
00:14:27,685 --> 00:14:30,485
So what you're saying is you're not
too bothered if Scotland fans...
291
00:14:30,485 --> 00:14:32,605
Oh, win, lose or draw,
I'm getting pished!
292
00:14:32,605 --> 00:14:35,325
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
293
00:14:32,605 --> 00:14:35,325
Win, lose or draw,
294
00:14:32,605 --> 00:14:35,325
I'm getting blootered.
295
00:14:35,325 --> 00:14:37,005
I'm getting blootered.
296
00:14:37,005 --> 00:14:39,965
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
297
00:14:41,405 --> 00:14:43,125
But isn't he one of the players?
298
00:14:44,965 --> 00:14:47,285
Social media isn't helping
people stay calm.
299
00:14:47,285 --> 00:14:49,245
Tianne from London tweeted
this week...
300
00:15:00,685 --> 00:15:03,245
One bedbug. One bedbug.
301
00:15:04,925 --> 00:15:08,765
What happened to the Dunkirk spirit
this country used to be proud of?
302
00:15:08,765 --> 00:15:11,085
Yes, this is the infestation
of bedbugs.
303
00:15:11,085 --> 00:15:13,485
I'm not saying the tabloids
are getting hysterical about this
304
00:15:13,485 --> 00:15:16,525
but apparently from next Thursday
we have to go outside
at eight in the evening
305
00:15:16,525 --> 00:15:18,045
and bang a pan for Rentokil.
306
00:15:23,245 --> 00:15:26,285
If you think you do have bedbugs,
then experts say that
307
00:15:26,285 --> 00:15:28,325
the only foolproof way to get
rid of them is to...
308
00:15:30,285 --> 00:15:32,765
A precaution which for some
reason Prince Andrew has been
309
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:34,125
taking for several years now.
310
00:15:35,445 --> 00:15:37,845
According to public health
scientists, the bedbugs are...
311
00:15:39,485 --> 00:15:41,445
So good news for Suella Braverman.
312
00:15:43,805 --> 00:15:46,005
And so to Round Two
where we deal with
313
00:15:46,005 --> 00:15:49,245
the abundance of fascinating science
stories in the news this week.
314
00:15:49,245 --> 00:15:53,005
Would you like to look through
the microscope of news?
315
00:15:53,005 --> 00:15:55,885
I bet there is a really terrible
graphic that goes with this.
316
00:15:55,885 --> 00:15:59,445
OK. Here is your first one.
Yeah. Go on, let's have a look.
317
00:15:59,445 --> 00:16:00,485
Yeah, here we go.
318
00:16:01,485 --> 00:16:02,765
BELL RINGS
319
00:16:02,765 --> 00:16:05,365
Ian and Olivia. Yes.
320
00:16:05,365 --> 00:16:08,845
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
321
00:16:12,245 --> 00:16:13,605
It's a good gag.
322
00:16:15,485 --> 00:16:17,805
You look like a really bad Adam Ant.
323
00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:23,485
Is that that goalkeepers have
quicker brains than anyone else?
324
00:16:23,485 --> 00:16:25,045
Yes, absolutely right. Oh, really?
325
00:16:25,045 --> 00:16:27,565
This is news that goalkeepers'
brains are wired
326
00:16:27,565 --> 00:16:29,005
differently to ours,
327
00:16:29,005 --> 00:16:31,485
which explains why David Seaman
had this haircut.
328
00:16:31,485 --> 00:16:34,045
LAUGHTER
329
00:16:34,045 --> 00:16:37,925
Scientists tested 20 goalkeepers,
20 outfield footballers
330
00:16:37,925 --> 00:16:40,005
and 20 normal people...
Normal people?
331
00:16:40,005 --> 00:16:42,245
Normal people.
332
00:16:42,245 --> 00:16:45,165
The sort of people that Rishi Sunak
meets all the time.
333
00:16:45,165 --> 00:16:46,885
They discovered... Yeah?
334
00:16:46,885 --> 00:16:48,845
..that goalkeepers were able
to process sights
335
00:16:48,845 --> 00:16:51,125
and sounds at a much faster
rate...
336
00:16:51,125 --> 00:16:53,485
Is this a survey of 60?
337
00:16:53,485 --> 00:16:55,885
Yes, but 20 of them were normal.
338
00:16:55,885 --> 00:16:57,925
Yeah, control, yeah. Who...?
339
00:16:57,925 --> 00:16:59,965
It means nothing, Alexander.
340
00:17:01,685 --> 00:17:03,445
I was going to say, it's pointless,
341
00:17:03,445 --> 00:17:06,565
but then I don't want to give
another ad to his show.
342
00:17:06,565 --> 00:17:11,805
Who would you say thinks most like
a goalkeeper here, Ian?
343
00:17:11,805 --> 00:17:13,405
No, that's too slow.
344
00:17:13,405 --> 00:17:14,965
That's not goalkeeper-quick,
345
00:17:14,965 --> 00:17:17,005
Ian, I needed a response
much quicker than that.
346
00:17:17,005 --> 00:17:18,845
We have to, um...
347
00:17:18,845 --> 00:17:21,285
LAUGHTER
348
00:17:21,285 --> 00:17:23,365
That was a survey of one.
349
00:17:24,565 --> 00:17:27,885
And a normal person. I do hope not.
350
00:17:27,885 --> 00:17:30,525
We have got our hands
on the test
351
00:17:30,525 --> 00:17:34,325
that was created by researchers
at Dublin City University
352
00:17:34,325 --> 00:17:37,005
to find out which of you is
most goalie...?
353
00:17:37,005 --> 00:17:38,765
Is there a croquet version?
354
00:17:38,765 --> 00:17:40,805
LAUGHTER
355
00:17:40,805 --> 00:17:43,445
I don't know what a croquet version
of a goalkeeper would be, Ian.
356
00:17:43,445 --> 00:17:46,285
Is that a potato covered
in bread crumbs?
357
00:17:46,285 --> 00:17:47,405
I am going to flash up...
358
00:17:47,405 --> 00:17:48,645
This is genuinely the test.
359
00:17:48,645 --> 00:17:50,365
You're going to flash up, are you?
360
00:17:50,365 --> 00:17:53,605
I'm going to flash up either one...
What about the quiz?
361
00:17:53,605 --> 00:17:55,245
First, I'm going to flash up...
362
00:17:55,245 --> 00:17:57,005
That's three times he's going
to flash up.
363
00:17:57,005 --> 00:17:58,925
..either one or two white dots
364
00:17:58,925 --> 00:18:01,805
along with either one or two
or no beeps.
365
00:18:01,805 --> 00:18:04,285
And then you have to tell me
how many dots were flashed up.
366
00:18:04,285 --> 00:18:08,045
Have you got it? It's very easy. OK.
Everyone ready? One or two.
367
00:18:09,285 --> 00:18:10,645
BEEP
368
00:18:10,645 --> 00:18:13,525
There was one. Two.
I didn't see any.
369
00:18:13,525 --> 00:18:15,565
LAUGHTER
370
00:18:15,565 --> 00:18:16,885
And so we've got a goalkeeper.
371
00:18:16,885 --> 00:18:20,045
Look at that. Very well done indeed,
Paul. Absolutely right. It was one.
372
00:18:20,045 --> 00:18:22,645
But we heard two little noises,
you see? You saw one dot.
373
00:18:22,645 --> 00:18:24,205
Can someone describe to me
374
00:18:24,205 --> 00:18:26,765
as someone who didn't see the flash
what the flash looked like?
375
00:18:26,765 --> 00:18:29,605
It was a white flash. It's a dot.
It's a white dot. It's a simple dot.
376
00:18:29,605 --> 00:18:31,845
This is just like being in
Specsavers.
377
00:18:31,845 --> 00:18:33,285
LAUGHTER
378
00:18:33,285 --> 00:18:35,885
Do you think one day this sort
of thing will replace television?
379
00:18:35,885 --> 00:18:39,125
LAUGHTER
380
00:18:39,125 --> 00:18:41,045
Could you see two? One?
381
00:18:41,045 --> 00:18:42,965
I saw one but I was too slow
to answer,
382
00:18:42,965 --> 00:18:44,805
so I don't think I'm
a goalkeeper at heart.
383
00:18:44,805 --> 00:18:47,045
I kind of feel as though
I'm speaking for everybody here
384
00:18:47,045 --> 00:18:48,885
when I say,
is there much more of this?
385
00:18:48,885 --> 00:18:50,645
LAUGHTER
386
00:18:50,645 --> 00:18:54,645
No, you're right, you're right.
You're right. You're right.
387
00:18:54,645 --> 00:18:56,845
On the subject of being wired
differently,
388
00:18:56,845 --> 00:18:59,405
football fans often have a slightly
different approach to life
389
00:18:59,405 --> 00:19:01,725
when watching a game.
Just as an example,
390
00:19:01,725 --> 00:19:05,725
who do we think these two Stoke City
fans are getting angry with?
391
00:19:05,725 --> 00:19:07,605
Is it about proportional
representation?
392
00:19:09,805 --> 00:19:11,405
Let's have a look.
393
00:19:20,005 --> 00:19:23,925
This is a study that shows that
goalkeepers have faster brains
than the rest of us.
394
00:19:23,925 --> 00:19:26,885
The tests also found that normal
people's reactions were nowhere near
395
00:19:26,885 --> 00:19:28,605
as fast as professional footballers,
396
00:19:28,605 --> 00:19:32,125
who only take an average of
150 milliseconds before replying,
397
00:19:32,125 --> 00:19:34,845
"Yes, for that money I WILL go and
play in Saudi Arabia."
398
00:19:36,085 --> 00:19:38,405
Fingers on buzzers. Next slide.
399
00:19:40,965 --> 00:19:43,285
Oh, hang on. There's something on
that one.
400
00:19:44,525 --> 00:19:46,165
Fly! fly, my pretty!
401
00:19:47,805 --> 00:19:50,565
That doesn't look like the Guardian
picture at all!
402
00:19:50,565 --> 00:19:52,925
OK, fingers on buzzers, teams.
403
00:19:52,925 --> 00:19:56,205
Here is your next slide
on the microscope.
404
00:19:56,205 --> 00:20:00,005
We should come up with the comments
before we see the picture.
405
00:20:00,005 --> 00:20:02,725
I had one of them
but the wheels fell off.
406
00:20:02,725 --> 00:20:04,285
That's what I'm going to say.
407
00:20:04,285 --> 00:20:06,205
Whatever the picture is,
I'm going to say that.
408
00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:08,845
Come on, then, picture.
Bring it up. Ready to go.
409
00:20:12,285 --> 00:20:14,165
LAUGHTER
410
00:20:17,645 --> 00:20:19,645
I had one of them
but the wheels fell off.
411
00:20:21,045 --> 00:20:22,845
This has been the highlight
of the show.
412
00:20:24,205 --> 00:20:28,045
This is a chicken that successfully
conducted Beethoven's 9th Symphony.
413
00:20:30,005 --> 00:20:32,005
Does anyone know what this might be?
No idea.
414
00:20:32,005 --> 00:20:35,605
It wasn't Beethoven, I think
it was a coronation anthem!
415
00:20:38,765 --> 00:20:40,165
Oh, that's good!
416
00:20:40,165 --> 00:20:42,805
AUDIENCE MEMBER:
It might have been Firebird.
417
00:20:42,805 --> 00:20:44,365
Yes, but it wasn't, was it?
418
00:20:46,205 --> 00:20:48,605
You don't get into show business
that easy, I tell you!
419
00:20:50,445 --> 00:20:53,245
Anyone know what this might be?
Yeah, it could have been Firebird.
420
00:20:53,245 --> 00:20:55,205
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
421
00:20:57,365 --> 00:21:00,325
This is the news that an orchestra
in New Zealand has performed
422
00:21:00,325 --> 00:21:02,725
a concert for a flock of chickens.
423
00:21:02,725 --> 00:21:05,405
Shall we have a look
at the performance? Yes, please.
424
00:21:24,005 --> 00:21:27,125
Were they performing it for
the chickens or near them?
425
00:21:29,125 --> 00:21:31,685
For any chickens, by the way,
that couldn't make the live show,
426
00:21:31,685 --> 00:21:36,565
that will be broadcast later this
weekend on Classic F HEN.
427
00:21:36,565 --> 00:21:38,765
AUDIENCE GROANS
428
00:21:38,765 --> 00:21:41,405
Will it be on your show?
Yeah, almost certainly.
429
00:21:41,405 --> 00:21:45,245
You're on every morning, aren't you?
Every morning, yeah. Nine till 12.
430
00:21:45,245 --> 00:21:46,485
I don't know how you do it.
431
00:21:46,485 --> 00:21:47,765
Or why.
432
00:21:47,765 --> 00:21:49,405
LAUGHTER
433
00:21:52,605 --> 00:21:54,285
And now Fanfare Of The Common Man.
434
00:21:54,285 --> 00:21:55,725
The Lark Ascending.
435
00:21:55,725 --> 00:21:57,765
Fingal's Cave.
We've had that a couple of times.
436
00:21:57,765 --> 00:21:59,525
Have you? Yeah. Dirty devil.
437
00:22:02,285 --> 00:22:05,565
Yeah, you've had this one
doing its Fingal licking good.
438
00:22:05,565 --> 00:22:08,605
These are just... This is gold dust.
439
00:22:08,605 --> 00:22:10,925
I'm just going to keep going
until the question ends.
440
00:22:10,925 --> 00:22:12,005
OK.
441
00:22:12,005 --> 00:22:14,405
That was the New Zealand Symphony
Orchestra there with...
442
00:22:16,765 --> 00:22:19,325
According to the orchestra's
chief executive Peter Biggs...
443
00:22:21,165 --> 00:22:23,445
Although one audience member was
seen laying an egg
444
00:22:23,445 --> 00:22:25,165
and then hurling it at the
bassoonist.
445
00:22:26,405 --> 00:22:28,285
This was a performance
by members of the
446
00:22:28,285 --> 00:22:30,725
New Zealand Symphony Orchestra
to an audience of chickens.
447
00:22:30,725 --> 00:22:32,125
It was a lovely occasion.
448
00:22:32,125 --> 00:22:33,725
The chickens enjoyed the orchestra
449
00:22:33,725 --> 00:22:36,205
and afterwards at lunch
the orchestra enjoyed the chickens.
450
00:22:37,285 --> 00:22:39,925
Time now for the odd one out round.
Your four are...
451
00:22:39,925 --> 00:22:41,205
Alan Titchmarsh,
452
00:22:41,205 --> 00:22:42,485
Elon Musk,
453
00:22:42,485 --> 00:22:43,885
Meghan Markle
454
00:22:43,885 --> 00:22:45,685
and Joe Biden's dog, Commander.
455
00:22:46,765 --> 00:22:50,725
Commander has been sent away from
the White House for biting people.
456
00:22:50,725 --> 00:22:53,965
I wouldn't put it past Meghan Markle
or Elon Musk to bite people.
457
00:22:53,965 --> 00:22:55,685
Alan Titchmarsh not so much.
458
00:22:55,685 --> 00:22:57,205
No, he's got rabies.
459
00:22:59,005 --> 00:23:00,805
To do with neighbours.
460
00:23:00,805 --> 00:23:02,525
Ah, yes. Biden told the dog,
461
00:23:02,525 --> 00:23:04,205
"I'm going to have to put you
to sleep."
462
00:23:04,205 --> 00:23:06,725
And the dog said,
"That's good coming from you."
463
00:23:09,485 --> 00:23:13,085
The dog is the only one that doesn't
want to bring back
Pebble Mill at One.
464
00:23:14,645 --> 00:23:17,845
No. They have all had trouble
with their neighbours,
465
00:23:17,845 --> 00:23:19,205
apart from Joe Biden's dog,
466
00:23:19,205 --> 00:23:21,565
who has been troubling the people
he lives with.
467
00:23:21,565 --> 00:23:23,765
Ah. So here is Joe Biden's dog,
Commander.
468
00:23:23,765 --> 00:23:25,445
How has he been causing trouble?
469
00:23:25,445 --> 00:23:27,245
Bit 11 people. Yeah, that's right.
470
00:23:27,245 --> 00:23:28,405
According to the BBC,
471
00:23:28,405 --> 00:23:31,445
he's developed a habit of biting
Secret Service agents.
472
00:23:31,445 --> 00:23:35,125
What did the Secret Service agents
call Commander?
473
00:23:35,125 --> 00:23:36,645
That bastard dog.
474
00:23:38,165 --> 00:23:39,685
How has Commander been dealt with?
475
00:23:39,685 --> 00:23:42,805
Well, he's had to go live somewhere
else, hasn't he? That's right.
476
00:23:42,805 --> 00:23:44,445
That's what they'll have told him.
477
00:23:44,445 --> 00:23:47,245
"He's gone to live on a farm, Joe."
"Oh, OK."
478
00:23:47,245 --> 00:23:48,885
HE MOUTHS SILENTLY
479
00:23:49,965 --> 00:23:51,965
He's been removed
from the White House...
480
00:23:51,965 --> 00:23:53,805
"He's gone to live on a farm."
481
00:23:56,045 --> 00:23:59,045
According to the Times, he's been
removed from the White House and...
482
00:24:02,405 --> 00:24:05,725
Why's Alan Titchmarsh been getting
frustrated with his neighbours,
do you know?
483
00:24:05,725 --> 00:24:07,005
They keep biting him.
484
00:24:07,005 --> 00:24:10,525
He called for people to stop using
power tools on Sundays,
complaining that...
485
00:24:13,085 --> 00:24:15,285
Alan Titchmarsh
says he is bothered by...
486
00:24:18,085 --> 00:24:20,725
On the plus side, he no longer has
to put up with that noise
487
00:24:20,725 --> 00:24:22,685
the phone used to make
when his agent called.
488
00:24:24,445 --> 00:24:26,045
In other nature news,
489
00:24:26,045 --> 00:24:29,885
what did Peter Glazebrook
recently show off in Malvern?
490
00:24:30,845 --> 00:24:34,005
I saw this picture in the paper.
It's an enormous thing.
491
00:24:34,005 --> 00:24:36,845
It's either a marrow or a cucumber.
Don't be coy, Ian. What is it?
492
00:24:36,845 --> 00:24:38,205
It is...
493
00:24:38,205 --> 00:24:40,605
It's his massive
prize-winning cucumber.
494
00:24:40,605 --> 00:24:42,045
Cucumber? Cucumber.
495
00:24:42,045 --> 00:24:44,045
LAUGHTER
496
00:24:45,245 --> 00:24:46,525
Now we are...
497
00:24:47,845 --> 00:24:50,605
Now we are getting to winter,
he'll want to harden that off.
498
00:24:51,885 --> 00:24:54,125
I thought to myself when I saw it in
the paper I thought,
499
00:24:54,125 --> 00:24:56,085
"I know where that's going
to turn up."
500
00:24:57,805 --> 00:24:59,605
I'm surprised he hasn't fainted.
501
00:25:01,965 --> 00:25:04,485
Elon Musk, how's he been annoying
his neighbours?
502
00:25:04,485 --> 00:25:06,845
Oh, he bought Twitter. Well, yes.
503
00:25:06,845 --> 00:25:09,365
He also uses his leaf blower
on a Sunday.
504
00:25:09,365 --> 00:25:10,845
Bastard.
505
00:25:10,845 --> 00:25:13,805
When Musk changed the name
of Twitter to X,
506
00:25:13,805 --> 00:25:16,365
he put an enormous flashing X-shaped
sign on the roof of
507
00:25:16,365 --> 00:25:18,005
their headquarters in San Francisco.
508
00:25:18,005 --> 00:25:22,205
Let's have a quick look and see what
it's like for people living across
the street.
509
00:25:22,205 --> 00:25:24,765
I couldn't see anything
but then I'm not a goalkeeper.
510
00:25:24,765 --> 00:25:26,405
No, you're not a goalkeeper.
511
00:25:28,445 --> 00:25:30,685
Why wouldn't you want Meghan Markle
next door?
512
00:25:30,685 --> 00:25:32,965
Does she use a leaf blower
on Sundays?
513
00:25:34,045 --> 00:25:35,365
One of them's got to.
514
00:25:35,365 --> 00:25:36,485
According to the Mirror,
515
00:25:36,485 --> 00:25:39,125
she and Harry are looking
for somewhere else to live after...
516
00:25:42,765 --> 00:25:45,405
According to the Mirror,
in the Sussexes' current home...
517
00:25:48,525 --> 00:25:52,005
Which, for all the work they have on
their plates, is one desk too many.
518
00:25:54,125 --> 00:25:57,005
Time now for the missing words round
and we start with...
519
00:26:01,965 --> 00:26:03,285
Keith Richards.
520
00:26:04,765 --> 00:26:06,125
Classic FM.
521
00:26:08,685 --> 00:26:10,885
It's lovely, classic FM.
522
00:26:10,885 --> 00:26:14,045
I think it's a handy reminder that
all radios have an off button.
523
00:26:14,045 --> 00:26:15,805
LAUGHTER
524
00:26:17,805 --> 00:26:20,005
The answer is ginger hair.
525
00:26:20,005 --> 00:26:23,045
Scientists have found the ginger
pigment in an extinct
526
00:26:23,045 --> 00:26:24,645
species of frog.
527
00:26:24,645 --> 00:26:27,525
Ginger frogs? Good luck finding
the princess to kiss one of those.
528
00:26:31,645 --> 00:26:32,685
Next...
529
00:26:36,285 --> 00:26:40,085
Tiny yellow reflection
of themselves.
530
00:26:40,085 --> 00:26:42,285
No, it's oooooh!
531
00:26:42,285 --> 00:26:44,245
Ghost! Yes. Oh!
532
00:26:44,245 --> 00:26:45,285
A ghost.
533
00:26:45,285 --> 00:26:49,685
God, this is like Christmas.
Charades with Uncle Alexander.
534
00:26:51,445 --> 00:26:53,565
A couple from East Sussex claim...
Ooooh!
535
00:26:53,565 --> 00:26:55,685
..to have spotted
a ghost in a fried egg. Here it is.
536
00:26:55,685 --> 00:26:58,365
Oh, no!
537
00:26:58,365 --> 00:27:00,405
Fair enough, I'd say. No!
538
00:27:00,405 --> 00:27:01,645
And finally...
539
00:27:05,685 --> 00:27:07,805
Secret financial arrangement
with vet.
540
00:27:10,445 --> 00:27:12,925
"I'm taking that Labrador
to the vet every week."
541
00:27:20,045 --> 00:27:22,725
This is the story of Jack Russell
mix, Jaqweenie,
542
00:27:22,725 --> 00:27:24,485
who keeps pretending to be ill.
543
00:27:24,485 --> 00:27:27,565
LAUGHTER
544
00:27:32,725 --> 00:27:34,645
Got a good dress sense, though.
545
00:27:35,845 --> 00:27:39,085
So the final scores are
Ian and Olivia on 6,
546
00:27:39,085 --> 00:27:40,965
Paul and Miles on 7.
547
00:27:40,965 --> 00:27:43,205
APPLAUSE
548
00:27:45,445 --> 00:27:47,965
But just before we go, there's time
for the caption competition.
549
00:27:49,125 --> 00:27:51,965
Man with the glasses is saying,
"Prince Harry sends his regards."
550
00:27:51,965 --> 00:27:53,725
LAUGHTER
551
00:27:55,485 --> 00:27:58,085
MILES: Naive man falls for smell my
cheese trick.
552
00:27:58,085 --> 00:28:00,125
LAUGHTER
553
00:28:00,125 --> 00:28:02,325
On which note, we say thank you
to our panellists,
554
00:28:02,325 --> 00:28:04,125
Ian Hislop and Olivia Utley.
555
00:28:04,125 --> 00:28:05,605
Paul Merton and Miles Jupp.
556
00:28:05,605 --> 00:28:09,325
And I leave you with news that in
Manchester, Radio 4 listeners
557
00:28:09,325 --> 00:28:12,565
are impressed by a new statue that
portrays Nick Robinson
558
00:28:12,565 --> 00:28:14,925
getting up in the morning to present
the Today programme.
559
00:28:18,605 --> 00:28:20,005
That's dedication for you.
560
00:28:21,485 --> 00:28:23,805
In Liverpool,
as Keir Starmer takes to the stage,
561
00:28:23,805 --> 00:28:26,925
Emily Thornberry regrets that edible
she's just popped.
562
00:28:26,925 --> 00:28:28,645
LAUGHTER
563
00:28:31,685 --> 00:28:34,365
And there's a touching moment
in a garden in Washington,
564
00:28:34,365 --> 00:28:37,365
as a nurse finds her missing patient
at three in the morning.
565
00:28:37,365 --> 00:28:39,365
LAUGHTER
566
00:28:41,445 --> 00:28:43,205
Goodnight.
567
00:28:43,205 --> 00:28:45,085
APPLAUSE