1
00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:11,040
This programme contains
some strong language
2
00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:11,560
This programme contains
some strong language
3
00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:32,280
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
4
00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:32,360
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
5
00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:39,360
Good evening.
6
00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:41,280
Welcome to Have I Got News For You.
7
00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:42,320
I'm Steph McGovern.
8
00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:43,800
In the news this week...
9
00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:46,560
In Hartlepool, Keir Starmer's
advisors suggest he should move
10
00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:50,120
on after chatting for 45 minutes
to a patient who'd only come
11
00:00:50,160 --> 00:00:54,560
in with an ingrown toenail.
12
00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:03,360
In Andalusia there's evidence that
a recent spillage of omega-3 oil
13
00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:08,400
is having an effect on the brains
of local wildlife.
14
00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:08,480
is having an effect on the brains
of local wildlife.
15
00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:14,760
Buenas tardes, perdona -
para Bolonia?
16
00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:15,280
Buenas tardes, perdona -
para Bolonia?
17
00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:19,800
And just outside Lisbon,
it's the first day of term
18
00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:21,920
for the apprentices
at the Cristiano Ronaldo
19
00:01:21,960 --> 00:01:25,440
Football School.
20
00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:29,880
THEY ALL SCREAM
21
00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:34,720
APPLAUSE
22
00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:37,240
On Ian's team tonight
is a presenter whose first job
23
00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:40,320
was in a factory processing peas,
until someone finally
24
00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:42,400
asked for a vowel.
25
00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:44,040
Please welcome Carol Vorderman.
26
00:01:44,080 --> 00:01:48,400
APPLAUSE.
27
00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:54,080
On Paul's team tonight is a comedian
who has a degree in applied theatre,
28
00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:58,320
where they teach you about theatre,
and also how to apply for temp work.
29
00:01:58,360 --> 00:01:58,760
where they teach you about theatre,
and also how to apply for temp work.
30
00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:01,240
Please welcome Nabil Abdulrashid.
31
00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:05,800
APPLAUSE
32
00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:06,120
APPLAUSE
33
00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:08,840
Right, we begin with the bigger
new stories of the week.
34
00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:12,280
Ian and Carol, have a look at this.
35
00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:13,680
Blimey!
36
00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:15,720
He'll be glue soon.
37
00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:18,160
There's someone speeding.
38
00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:20,280
That's Rishi and his wife.
Yep.
39
00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:23,160
Oh, that's Johnson
burying the evidence.
40
00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:24,640
Absolutely.
41
00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:28,440
And look, he's being arrested.
42
00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:30,960
So, good news week all round.
43
00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:35,520
What a shower, eh?
What an absolute shower.
44
00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:35,720
What a shower, eh?
What an absolute shower.
45
00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:38,520
I can't believe
they're our government.
46
00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:42,560
Boris Johnson is like a dose
of diarrhoea that keeps on giving.
47
00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:47,200
Just every single time,
every time you switch
48
00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:47,400
Just every single time,
every time you switch
49
00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:48,800
on the news, he's still there.
50
00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:50,760
How does this happen?
51
00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:53,880
I think it's something
to do with the system.
52
00:02:53,920 --> 00:02:56,840
As Carol says, it's not been a good
week for the government.
53
00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:58,600
And poor old Rishi Sunak...
54
00:02:58,640 --> 00:03:01,520
Well, not "poor", that's just...!
55
00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:03,240
LAUGHTER
56
00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:06,320
But whenever he thinks things
are getting slightly better,
57
00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:08,600
it all blows up again.
58
00:03:08,640 --> 00:03:10,960
And Suella Braverman
was done for speeding.
59
00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:13,200
NABIL LAUGHS
60
00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:15,080
Yes.
61
00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:17,720
This is the news that
Suella Braverman is off the hook
62
00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:21,560
for speeding but Boris Johnson
might be back on it again
63
00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:24,240
for Covid breaches.
64
00:03:24,280 --> 00:03:28,320
Although I don't think I want to see
Boris's Covid breeches.
65
00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:30,040
I am very interested in the story.
66
00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:32,320
Because everyone says it
doesn't matter and so what,
67
00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:33,640
it was a speeding thing.
68
00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:35,440
But she was Attorney General.
69
00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:38,320
Which is the person
in charge of the law.
70
00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:41,200
And she asked her civil servants
if she could have a one-to-one
71
00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:44,240
speed awareness course.
72
00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:47,120
And this was on the grounds
that she is extremely well known
73
00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:48,520
and it would have been embarrassing.
74
00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:51,160
And I have to say, I did
the speed awareness course,
75
00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:54,080
and it was UNBELIEVABLY
embarrassing!
76
00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:56,920
So you don't do it again.
So you don't do it again.
77
00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:59,840
I mean, the Archbishop of Canterbury
went and sat at the back
78
00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:01,040
of his speed awareness course.
79
00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:03,440
He wasn't on the same
one as you, was he?
80
00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:04,480
Yeah, of course!
81
00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:06,160
How fast were you going, then, Ian?
82
00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:10,880
I was doing 24 miles
an hour outside Ikea.
83
00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:13,320
I think we should appreciate
Suella Braverman while she's here.
84
00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:16,680
Yeah, she broke the law
as a lawmaker, but I think lawmakers
85
00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:18,360
should be allowed to break the law.
86
00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:19,520
Every job has its perks.
87
00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:23,160
You work at JD Sports,
you get a discount.
88
00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:25,440
You work at Pizza Hut,
you get a pizza.
89
00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:27,760
You live in Croydon,
you learn how to fight.
90
00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:30,960
I think she's perfect.
91
00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:34,200
I think when that children's
animation movie about the Tories
92
00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:37,160
comes out, she'll make
the perfect villain.
93
00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:39,960
I think we'll call it
"101 Allegations".
94
00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:45,120
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
95
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:45,280
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
96
00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:48,400
That's fair enough,
but I think "allegations"
97
00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:50,600
suggests she's not guilty.
98
00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:54,560
So it's "101 Damnations".
99
00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:58,400
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
100
00:04:58,440 --> 00:04:59,800
Very good.
101
00:04:59,840 --> 00:05:03,320
So, what's Boris Johnson
done now, allegedly?
102
00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:07,000
The suggestion is that he broke
Covid regulations not only
103
00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:11,040
in his London flat but also
at Chequers, his country house.
104
00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:14,200
Which is a big shock to me
because I thought he would break
105
00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:16,920
the rules in one place and keep them
in the other.
106
00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:19,320
Yes, so he held gatherings
at Chequers which were against
107
00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:21,800
the Covid restrictions
in place at the time,
108
00:05:21,840 --> 00:05:22,880
which was between June...
109
00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:27,000
He's denied this, though...which
means it's true!
110
00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:29,200
Sources told The Times that
"the alleged breaches involved
111
00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:32,800
Johnson's family as well as friends,
although a source close
112
00:05:32,840 --> 00:05:35,120
to Johnson denied this."
113
00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:37,600
Then Rachel Johnson
stepped in to help.
114
00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:40,160
She told LBC, "All the rules
were followed whenever
115
00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:44,200
I went to Chequers."
116
00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:46,560
No further questions, m'luds.
117
00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:48,720
I think Sunak's
a little bit pissed off
118
00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:53,160
because he wasn't invited.
119
00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:53,440
because he wasn't invited.
120
00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:55,600
So how did this all
come about, then?
121
00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:57,800
Essentially he got shopped
by his own people.
122
00:05:57,840 --> 00:06:01,400
The public...you are paying
for Boris's defence, and as part
123
00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:04,480
of the defence he handed over his
diaries, and the people looked...
124
00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:06,800
"Blimey, look what
he was doing then!"
125
00:06:06,840 --> 00:06:09,960
And they reported him to the police.
126
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:14,400
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
127
00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:15,200
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
128
00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:18,600
Everybody is worried that as soon
as you get near Boris,
129
00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:21,440
you get fired and you lose your job,
your life falls apart
130
00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:23,080
and you end up in a gutter.
131
00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:27,800
Apart from the chairman
of the BBC, obviously.
132
00:06:27,840 --> 00:06:30,720
It is time, though, to pull up
the deckchair and get out
133
00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:31,720
the popcorn, isn't it?
134
00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:34,600
I mean, once his WhatsApps
start to be revealed,
135
00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:35,960
just like the Matt Hancock stuff...
136
00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:39,480
Oh, amazing!
I'll be enjoying that.
137
00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:43,960
Supporters of Boris have complained
about "stitch-up and smear".
138
00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:47,520
Sounds like a firm of
solicitors, doesn't it?
139
00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:51,360
Gynaecologists.
140
00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:53,680
Oh!
141
00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:56,360
See, I thought that
but I didn't want to say it.
142
00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:58,520
I was there with you
but I thought, no...
143
00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:00,960
I wouldn't want to see
that on television.
144
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:02,240
Absolutely not.
145
00:07:02,280 --> 00:07:04,320
This is the BBC.
146
00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:06,800
Sorry.
147
00:07:06,840 --> 00:07:10,680
I've actually got me muff out
on telly and done a live smear test.
148
00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:12,040
I beg your pardon?!
149
00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:16,400
It got me a Bafta
nomination, actually.
150
00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:21,320
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
151
00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:21,600
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
152
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:25,200
This isn't Channel 4
lunchtime now, you know.
153
00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:28,160
There are people watching!
154
00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:31,600
AUDIENCE: Oh!
155
00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:33,480
Right low - I'm gonna
keep right low!
156
00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:35,680
Here we go...
157
00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:37,840
Are you going to take that?
This is it.
158
00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:39,720
The shit is hitting
the fan now, love!
159
00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,920
Right, what has Boris Johnson
called the Deputy Prime
160
00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:44,000
Minister Oliver Dowden,
who is, of course, in charge
161
00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:45,240
of the Cabinet Office?
162
00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:46,680
What has he called him?
163
00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:51,080
"A puss, yo."
164
00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:51,160
"A puss, yo."
165
00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:52,160
LAUGHTER
166
00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:54,040
It'll be one of his nicknames.
Oh, god.
167
00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:55,920
Is he an Old Etonian
as well, Dowden?
168
00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:57,880
I don't think he is.
Is he not?
169
00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:00,040
No, I think he went
to another public school.
170
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,440
Oh, did he?
It's the same lot, isn't it, really?
171
00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:06,920
No, they're not all...
We-we're not...th-they're not all...
172
00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:10,920
..the same by any means, Carol.
Honestly!
173
00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:13,160
He called him "a compliant
tool of The Blob".
174
00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:14,320
Who is The Blob?
175
00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:16,760
The Blob is anyone
who opposes Boris.
176
00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:18,560
Oh, are we?
177
00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:22,600
What else are Boris's enemies
supposed to be holding up?
178
00:08:22,640 --> 00:08:25,160
Is it banners?
179
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:26,880
No, shall I tell you?
Tell us.
180
00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:30,240
His Resignation Honours List.
181
00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:33,600
So, Nadine Dorries and a few other
MPs have been told they can't wait
182
00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:36,440
until the next election
and will have to give up their seats
183
00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:39,360
as MPs to take up their Ladyships.
184
00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:43,480
Which means there could be
at least three by-elections.
185
00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:45,600
I'm sorry, I grew up in Nigeria.
I'm Nigerian.
186
00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:48,040
I grew up in Nigeria
so for me, "by-election" just
187
00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:50,120
means votes are on sale.
188
00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:51,680
What exactly...?
189
00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:54,080
LAUGHTER
190
00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:55,720
It's when an MP
leaves their position
191
00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:56,840
for whatever reason.
192
00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:59,520
They then have to vote in another MP
for that constituency,
193
00:08:59,560 --> 00:09:02,160
and it's called a by-election.
194
00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:06,080
We're a couple of years behind
Nigeria in terms of corruption.
195
00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:07,920
Yeah, the boys back
home are actually quite
196
00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:09,880
proud of your progress.
197
00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:12,640
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
198
00:09:12,680 --> 00:09:15,680
This is the most welcome I've ever
felt in this country!
199
00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:17,560
More bad news for the
government as well.
200
00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:20,240
The legal migration figures
came out this week.
201
00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:24,600
Net migration to the UK last
year was 606,000 people.
202
00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:25,320
Net migration to the UK last
year was 606,000 people.
203
00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:26,720
It's gone up quite a lot.
204
00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:29,160
What do you think on this, Nabil?
Are you surprised?
205
00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:30,880
Whoo!
Get in there, lads!
206
00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:35,200
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
207
00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:35,400
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
208
00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:37,360
I love it.
209
00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:40,040
Do you know how many nice
takeaway are going to open
210
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,360
now from other countries?
211
00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:46,160
It's legal immigration, did you say?
It wasn't illegal?
212
00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:48,320
No, legal.
Legal?
213
00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:49,960
What's the problem?
They're doing it legally.
214
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:51,680
Well, it's gone up quite a lot.
215
00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:53,800
It was about 200,000
a couple of years ago.
216
00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:56,440
Well, I don't like...
217
00:09:56,480 --> 00:10:01,160
300 years ago a few people came over
to certain countries also.
218
00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:03,280
But not quite legally.
219
00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:07,440
Eventually we persuaded
them to leave, but they
220
00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:10,280
took some stuff, so...
221
00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:14,360
As far as I see it, you owe us.
222
00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:18,760
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
223
00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:19,400
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
224
00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:22,400
There are a lot of Nigerians,
aren't there, in those figures?
225
00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:26,520
My friend, why do you like
bringing all this...?
226
00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:31,080
I'm very interested.
We're all Nigerians somehow.
227
00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:34,000
I lived in Nigeria for four years.
Did you?
228
00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:36,320
No wonder we have so many problems!
229
00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:39,920
LAUGHTER
230
00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:44,240
I was between nought and four, so...
231
00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:45,160
I was between nought and four, so...
232
00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:50,040
But still, I can
still create trouble.
233
00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:53,800
Wow, so you're actually Nigerian?
Yeah, technically.
234
00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:56,200
Ah, my guy!
235
00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:59,520
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
236
00:10:59,560 --> 00:11:00,800
Were you born there, then?
237
00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:03,920
No, I left Wales to go to Nigeria...
You're Welsh?!
238
00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:08,680
How many different people that
everybody hates do you want to be?
239
00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:09,120
How many different people that
everybody hates do you want to be?
240
00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:14,080
LAUGHTER
241
00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:17,080
This is the news that Boris Johnson
may have broken the rules
242
00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:21,120
during lockdown by hosting a series
of parties at Chequers.
243
00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:24,040
Which he insists can't be true
as he was too busy hosting
244
00:11:24,080 --> 00:11:26,880
parties at Downing Street.
245
00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:29,680
After being caught speeding,
Suella Braverman has been fined
246
00:11:29,720 --> 00:11:32,960
and was given three points.
247
00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:36,080
When he became Prime Minister,
Rishi Sunak insisted his government
248
00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:40,160
would be based on "integrity,
professionalism and accountability".
249
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:43,400
Three points Suella hasn't got.
250
00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:46,400
Before they were handed
over to the inquiry,
251
00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:49,160
some of Boris Johnson's more
controversial WhatsApp
252
00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:50,880
messages were redacted,
leading the Metropolitan Police
253
00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:53,480
to respond...
254
00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:57,280
"What?
You can redact them?!"
255
00:11:57,320 --> 00:11:59,720
Paul and Nabil, have a look at this.
256
00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:01,880
Yes, OK, that's the National
Television Awards.
257
00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:04,320
This Morning is probably
winning an award there.
258
00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:08,240
And...
"My brother's done what?"
259
00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:13,440
LAUGHTER
260
00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:21,520
Yes, so this is This Morning,
where Phillip Schofield has had
261
00:12:21,560 --> 00:12:25,800
to leave after 20-odd years
of presenting the daytime live show.
262
00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:30,280
He had such a decorated career.
He was a legend, and then he left.
263
00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:32,680
But there wasn't, like,
a big hoo-ha about him leaving.
264
00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:35,200
He just left like
a disgruntled intern.
265
00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:40,040
I hope he stole something before
he left, because that's...
266
00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:40,440
I hope he stole something before
he left, because that's...
267
00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:43,760
This is the news that
Phillip Schofield has left ITV
268
00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:47,160
daytime show This Morning,
showing just how quickly a career
269
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:51,760
on daytime television can come
to a crashing halt overnight.
270
00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:52,240
on daytime television can come
to a crashing halt overnight.
271
00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:55,640
WHISPERS: Fucking hell!
272
00:12:55,680 --> 00:12:56,800
LAUGHTER
273
00:12:56,840 --> 00:12:59,440
I found this story quite difficult
to follow since I didn't
274
00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:01,240
know who they were.
275
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:05,560
Or, indeed, there was such
a thing as daytime TV.
276
00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:05,680
Or, indeed, there was such
a thing as daytime TV.
277
00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:09,520
I always imagine it as people
talking when someone's hoovering,
278
00:13:09,560 --> 00:13:11,600
so it doesn't really
matter what they say...
279
00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:14,400
HMMMMM!
280
00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:15,800
Anyway, you're on it, aren't you?
281
00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:20,000
Well, I do every other Friday, yeah,
with Alison and lovely Dermot.
282
00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:23,960
So are you going to take over?
Is it going to be Holly 'n' Carol?
283
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:25,120
No!
284
00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:28,440
Probably Holly 'n' Alison,
I would have thought.
285
00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:31,520
Is that where your money is?
That's where I'd put my money, yeah.
286
00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:32,600
Would you, Steph?
Yeah.
287
00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:35,000
I mean, I suppose it's
always going to be really
288
00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:36,920
difficult, isn't it,
when there's a bitter rift
289
00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:41,200
between a much-loved,
long-running TV duo.
290
00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:45,040
LAUGHTER
291
00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:49,000
Yes, but we don't sit
next to each other.
292
00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:51,760
What's the secret to
your success as a pair?
293
00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:56,560
We don't talk to each other
outside of a recording.
294
00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:56,680
We don't talk to each other
outside of a recording.
295
00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:58,800
Emergency presenters
have been drafted in.
296
00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:02,160
Here's how Alison Hammond
and Dermot O'Leary paid tribute
297
00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:05,320
to Phillip Schofield the day
after his departure was announced.
298
00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:09,800
And just to be clear -
he hadn't died...
299
00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:12,680
Now, we can't start today's show
without paying tribute to the man
300
00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:15,960
who spent the last two decades
sitting on the This Morning sofa -
301
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:17,720
Phillip Schofield.
302
00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:20,880
So, as a show, everyone
on and off-screen at ITV
303
00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:24,360
and This Morning want to
say a huge thank you to Phil
304
00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:27,240
for what he's done to make
the show such a success over
305
00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:29,800
the last 21 years.
306
00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:31,960
Is not the thing with
people on daytime telly
307
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:34,320
that they give an impression
of being incredibly nice...
308
00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:36,760
..and apparently, Carol,
behind the scenes people
309
00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:38,600
aren't very nice.
310
00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:40,480
You're smiley, lovely,
you're the people next door.
311
00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:44,520
You sit on on the sofa and say,
"Would you want to eat this thing?"
312
00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:47,480
Ian, are you forgetting you've
actually been on my show?
313
00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:50,360
And it was daytime?
It was favours.
314
00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:53,040
LAUGHTER
315
00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:55,960
Yeah, but you were featured
in a section called
316
00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:58,400
"Where Are They Now?"
317
00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:03,480
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
318
00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:03,600
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
319
00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:08,240
When I was on it, it was called
Where Were They Then?
320
00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:10,000
I love daytime telly, don't you?
321
00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:11,760
Yeah.
322
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:16,240
I mean, I love daytime telly too,
but I spent time in jail, so.
323
00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:16,560
I mean, I love daytime telly too,
but I spent time in jail, so.
324
00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:19,000
Shall we have a look
at what Eamonn Holmes had
325
00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:23,680
to say about it all?
326
00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:24,040
to say about it all?
327
00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:26,000
Oh, yeah.
328
00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:27,080
Yeah.
329
00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:29,280
All of this, of course,
follows the big announcement
330
00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:31,640
on Saturday from Phillip Schofield
that he was stepping down.
331
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:33,120
Oh, please, let's just stop this.
332
00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:34,120
He was sacked, right?
333
00:15:34,160 --> 00:15:35,560
All this nonsense about giving him.
334
00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:37,400
"I have decided to step down."
335
00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:38,440
I'm sure you did.
336
00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:39,520
Sure you did.
337
00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:41,080
Here, here's your P45,
now step down.
338
00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:42,160
Why do we...
339
00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:43,600
Why do we propagate this language?
340
00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:44,840
"I've decided to step down."
341
00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:47,440
And she says, "Oh, the couch
will not feel the same
342
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:50,240
"without him being there."
343
00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:53,000
Well, she wanted him not there.
344
00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:55,960
So what's she moaning
about the couch not
345
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:57,000
feeling the same for?
346
00:15:57,040 --> 00:16:01,920
I mean, they deserve
each other, I suppose.
347
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:07,320
The Daily Mail carried out
a poll after the news
348
00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:08,400
of Phillip Schofield's departure.
349
00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:12,520
What was the question
that they asked their readers?
350
00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:16,800
Who is Phillip Schofield?
351
00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:17,800
Who is Phillip Schofield?
352
00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:21,120
The Daily Mail asked readers...
353
00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:26,320
And 75% of the 5,569 readers
who took part replied...
354
00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:33,840
Finally, This Morning
wasn't the only show
355
00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:34,880
on television having problems.
356
00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:37,240
Here's the start of a news
bulletin on S4C News,
357
00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:38,680
which is Channel 4 in Wales.
358
00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:39,720
Yeah.
359
00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:41,120
Yeah?
360
00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:44,000
See if you can spot
the technical glitch.
361
00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:47,360
Yeah.
362
00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:48,440
P'nawn da.
363
00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:52,160
Mae mwy na 30,000 o gleifion wedi
bod yn aros dros dwy flynedd am
364
00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:57,200
driniaeth ar y Gwasanaeth Iechyd yn
ol ffigyrau sydd newydd...
365
00:16:57,240 --> 00:16:57,320
driniaeth ar y Gwasanaeth Iechyd yn
ol ffigyrau sydd newydd...
366
00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:02,800
LAUGHTER
367
00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:04,960
I love it!
368
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:09,240
Not gonna lie, he's a legend
for turning like that.
369
00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:12,400
This is the news that
Phillip Schofield has stepped down
370
00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:14,640
from his co-presenting role on This
Morning.
371
00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:17,960
Holly and Phil have also received
a nomination in this year's
372
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:22,680
National Television Awards,
presumably for best drama.
373
00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:22,760
National Television Awards,
presumably for best drama.
374
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:28,000
Despite leaving This Morning,
Phillip has stated that he will...
375
00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:33,200
They'll save on the budget because
the rink is going to be frozen just
376
00:17:33,240 --> 00:17:37,560
by the atmosphere between them.
377
00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:38,400
by the atmosphere between them.
378
00:17:38,520 --> 00:17:40,360
So, to round 2 the
strength-o-meter of news.
379
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:44,400
Fingers on buzzers, teams.
380
00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:45,680
Yeah, Ian?
381
00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:46,880
It's the Chelsea Flower Show.
382
00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:51,360
I thought this was about
the shortage of fruit pickers.
383
00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:52,080
I thought this was about
the shortage of fruit pickers.
384
00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:54,560
Is it...Just Stop Oil.
385
00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:57,200
So this is the news that
Just Stop Oil protesters have
386
00:17:57,240 --> 00:17:59,680
targeted one of the gardens
at the Chelsea Flower Show.
387
00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:02,080
The garden they targeted
was the one designed for wealth
388
00:18:02,120 --> 00:18:07,280
manager RBC Brewin Dolphin.
389
00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:08,960
What form did the protest take?
390
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,880
Like, I know it was orange.
391
00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:13,280
Was it like at the snooker?
392
00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:14,320
Orange powder?
393
00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:15,960
Yeah, that kind of thing, I think.
394
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,200
Yeah, let's have a look.
395
00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:18,520
Oh, for God's sake.
396
00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:20,320
No, no, no!
397
00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:21,360
You morons.
398
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:23,240
Stop it!
399
00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:24,320
You bloody morons.
400
00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:28,280
Stop!
401
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:32,520
That is the poshest...
402
00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:37,040
..whitest thing.
403
00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:37,760
..whitest thing.
404
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:43,880
One of them is throwing
it over herself.
405
00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:45,000
Yes.
406
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:46,000
What happened next?
407
00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:48,640
Batman turned up.
408
00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:51,520
They got arrested and taken away
by the police, I should imagine.
409
00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:53,520
By the flower squad.
410
00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:54,560
No.
411
00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:56,000
Let's find out what happened next?
412
00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:57,600
No?
413
00:18:57,640 --> 00:19:00,560
CHEERING
414
00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:03,120
It's time to
face up to the truth.
415
00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:05,000
Takes your heads out
of your peat-free compost...
416
00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:06,720
People's livlihoods
are under attack!
417
00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:11,080
There are other ways
of doing it, ladies.
418
00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:11,880
There are other ways
of doing it, ladies.
419
00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:19,960
This is...this is...this
isn't Chicago, is it?
420
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:22,640
It's not the sort of thing that
would happen in America.
421
00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:26,680
It'd be at least 15
people dead by now.
422
00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:29,320
So the...the person spraying
the water on them, were they part
423
00:19:29,360 --> 00:19:32,400
of the demonstration?
424
00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:34,040
No, no.
425
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:36,480
She's part of the Chelsea Flower
Show police, and that's
426
00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:39,560
a very small water cannon.
427
00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:41,600
What in the vegan
barbecue is going on?
428
00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:43,000
The woman was a visitor.
429
00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:44,280
She was a visitor?
430
00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:45,240
Yeah.
431
00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:46,320
She says...
432
00:19:46,360 --> 00:19:48,960
She was enjoying looking
at the garden and they were getting
433
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:50,880
in the way, so she hosed them down.
434
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:55,520
She didn't hose them
down, she watered them.
435
00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:57,360
She didn't hose them
down, she watered them.
436
00:19:57,400 --> 00:19:59,000
Now they're going
to grow even bigger.
437
00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:02,280
What did the cleanup
operation involve?
438
00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:07,360
More water?
439
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:07,600
More water?
440
00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:11,680
When I was watching that, I thought
if she hadn't done the water,
441
00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:15,320
they could have just brushed it up
and got a Dyson round like you do
442
00:20:15,360 --> 00:20:16,880
when you're watching This Morning.
443
00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:21,200
Dyson is the name of Ian's butler.
444
00:20:21,240 --> 00:20:22,160
Dyson is the name of Ian's butler.
445
00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:33,880
Spelled
Digby-Featherstone-Huffstone.
446
00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:36,960
Meanwhile, what has Monty Don said
he would do if he were king?
447
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:41,120
Free ganja for everyone.
448
00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:43,960
Send everybody a packet of seeds?
449
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,000
No, no.
450
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:47,000
Tell us.
451
00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:49,720
Monty Don wants to ban
artificial grass.
452
00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:51,400
Anyone here got artificial grass?
453
00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:52,760
Have you, yeah?
454
00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:54,400
It's great.
455
00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:56,320
Oh, you got a boo there for that.
456
00:20:56,360 --> 00:20:58,480
Really?
457
00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:01,080
I think he's got an orange
powder in his...
458
00:21:01,120 --> 00:21:05,240
I do.
459
00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:08,960
Time now for the odd one out round.
460
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,880
Your four are Olaf Scholz,
Rishi Sunak, footballer
461
00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:14,120
Erling Haaland and Winston
Churchill.
462
00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:16,880
Think about what Winston
Churchill's wearing.
463
00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:18,800
Oh, he's...was that
known as a boiler suit?
464
00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:19,840
A siren suit.
465
00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:23,040
A siren suit.
466
00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:24,080
Yeah.
467
00:21:24,120 --> 00:21:25,320
That's not helpful at all.
468
00:21:25,360 --> 00:21:29,440
Give us a clue that's
more like the answer.
469
00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:30,480
Yes.
470
00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:31,520
OK.
471
00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:33,200
They've all set fashion
trends apart from...
472
00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:34,240
ALL: Rishi Sunak?
473
00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:37,480
Everybody's wearing those
white hats these days.
474
00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:38,520
You know what?
475
00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:42,120
I used to spend so much time
in safety gear when I worked at BBC
476
00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:45,240
Breakfast someone set up a fetish
website of Steph in safety gear.
477
00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:47,280
Did they?
478
00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:49,800
Was it you, Paul?
479
00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:52,600
Paid for a holiday.
480
00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:54,880
I love a safety helmet.
481
00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:55,960
Do you?
482
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:57,480
Oh, I do, yeah.
483
00:21:57,520 --> 00:22:02,120
I used to work underground
as an engineer, and I had, like,
484
00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:02,760
I used to work underground
as an engineer, and I had, like,
485
00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:06,280
khaki green boiler suit with a khaki
green safety helmet.
486
00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:07,440
Me and 2000 men underground.
487
00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:08,480
Yeah.
488
00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:11,000
Did they get out alive?
489
00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:15,920
No.
490
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:16,280
No.
491
00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:18,400
I'm going to tell you the answer.
492
00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:19,480
Yeah, good.
493
00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:23,560
They've all set fashion trends apart
from German Chancellor Olaf Scholz,
494
00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:28,040
whose fashion is so old it's wanted
by a museum.
495
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:29,920
The Times reported that
the German chancellor has
496
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:33,000
been carrying around...
497
00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:36,480
And now a bid has been
put in for it by...
498
00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:39,600
Someone's looked up museum
in a thesaurus there, haven't they?
499
00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:42,440
If you want to look a bit more
like the German Chancellor,
500
00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:43,480
the great news is...
501
00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:44,520
Who doesn't?
502
00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:45,600
Who doesn't?
503
00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:49,200
The great news is that if you travel
to his hometown of Hamburg, this man
504
00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:54,160
will give you the Olaf Scholz
special for under E5.
505
00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:54,440
will give you the Olaf Scholz
special for under E5.
506
00:22:55,360 --> 00:22:57,440
So that means clearly modeling
the old trick glasses,
507
00:22:57,480 --> 00:23:01,400
false nose and moustache.
508
00:23:01,440 --> 00:23:03,920
What fashion trends has
Rishi Sunak set, then?
509
00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:05,120
I don't know.
510
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:07,480
Well, while in Japan at the G7,
the Prime Minister...
511
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:08,640
Shoes!
512
00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:09,640
..wore these red socks.
513
00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:10,640
Oh, socks.
514
00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:15,440
Oh, yes, you see them everywhere.
515
00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:15,920
Oh, yes, you see them everywhere.
516
00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:17,960
They've got the logo
of Hiroshima Toy Carp,
517
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:20,080
which is the Japanese prime
minister's favourite baseball team.
518
00:23:20,120 --> 00:23:24,080
Here he is with Rishi.
519
00:23:24,120 --> 00:23:26,240
-- They've got the logo
of Hiroshima Toya Carp,
520
00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:28,360
which is the Japanese prime
minister's favourite baseball team.
521
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:29,560
Here he is with Rishi.
522
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:31,960
And realising that Sunak's just
stood on his pet snail.
523
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:33,680
What has Manchester City
footballer Erling Haaland
524
00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:34,760
increased the sales of?
525
00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:36,160
He wears a headband, doesn't he?
526
00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:37,200
But that's not it.
527
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:38,240
It's not that.
528
00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:39,320
No.
529
00:23:39,360 --> 00:23:40,320
Move down the body.
530
00:23:40,360 --> 00:23:45,200
He wears a headband?
531
00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:45,520
He wears a headband?
532
00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:50,520
I can't stop now!
533
00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:50,760
I can't stop now!
534
00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:53,440
Is he the one that has his
own brand of underwear?
535
00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:57,160
It's to do with underwear.
536
00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:59,840
So the football striker was recently
pictured in the Manchester City
537
00:23:59,880 --> 00:24:01,200
changing room alongside
Noel Gallagher, wearing
538
00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:02,720
a pair of white Y fronts.
539
00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:04,400
Here he is.
540
00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:07,040
The Daily Star reported that men
trying to emulate the Norwegian
541
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:11,760
footballer caused...
542
00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:12,280
footballer caused...
543
00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:15,360
Yes, but how many were
they selling before that?
544
00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:20,240
That could be like,
they've sold four.
545
00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:20,640
That could be like,
they've sold four.
546
00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:22,880
According to the Science Museum
archives, Churchill wore one
547
00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:25,960
of his suits to the White House,
where the first lady, Mrs Roosevelt,
548
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:29,400
declared that she was...
549
00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:32,240
Finally, how has one man made sure
he never leaves the house
550
00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:35,360
without his favourite fashion item?
551
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:37,040
Has he had it tattooed onto him.
552
00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:38,200
He has!
553
00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:40,800
Blazej Ambrozak from Rochdale has
had his favourite pair of Nike
554
00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:42,040
trainers tattooed onto his feet.
555
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:46,840
Here they are.
556
00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:47,200
Here they are.
557
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:51,760
All the effort and he's
still got a pair that are two
558
00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:55,000
sizes too small for him.
559
00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:59,560
Time now for the missing words
round and we start with...
560
00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:00,080
Time now for the missing words
round and we start with...
561
00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:02,360
Water buffalo eats immersion heater.
562
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:04,840
You know, that is nearly the answer?
563
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:06,480
Oh, no!
564
00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:09,680
Yeah.
565
00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:12,240
Oh, no, it is water buffalo
or some bison or something
566
00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:15,560
local sort of oxen.
567
00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:16,520
In Essex?
568
00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:17,560
Yeah.
569
00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:20,280
They were on holiday
and they came over and they saw
570
00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:22,160
this and they jumped
into the swimming pool.
571
00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:23,200
Yeah.
572
00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:28,240
Let's have a look.
573
00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:28,480
Let's have a look.
574
00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:37,240
Next...
575
00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:39,920
Nobody cares?
576
00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:45,040
Facing the wrong way?
577
00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:51,480
This was in the Norwich Evening News
where they included images
578
00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:55,880
of their reporters at the scene
looking at the timetable.
579
00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:56,720
of their reporters at the scene
looking at the timetable.
580
00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:06,240
A Norfolk County Council
spokesman said...
581
00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:09,400
Yeah!
582
00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:11,280
Unfortunately, it does mean
all the bus shelters
583
00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:12,280
are now upside down.
584
00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:15,920
And finally...
585
00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:20,320
Is not permanent.
586
00:26:20,360 --> 00:26:21,040
Is not permanent.
587
00:26:21,120 --> 00:26:22,120
Celebrates an anniversary.
588
00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:23,200
Yes!
589
00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:24,640
You are bloody good at this!
590
00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:29,760
Yeah.
591
00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:32,840
That's amazing.
592
00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:35,160
Is that right?
593
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:36,200
Yeah.
594
00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:40,480
He's like the Rain Man of nonsense.
595
00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:41,440
He's like the Rain Man of nonsense.
596
00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:45,840
Yeah, let's have a look
at the moving ceremony
597
00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:49,360
to mark the occasion.
598
00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:54,240
Is that a hearse in the background?
599
00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:56,640
I reckon they're waiting
for the bloke on the right.
600
00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:57,680
What do you think?
601
00:26:57,720 --> 00:27:02,040
Shall we have a sweepstake?
602
00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:04,480
So the final scores are Ian
and Carol have seven.
603
00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:05,480
Yes!
604
00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:06,880
Paul and Nabil also have seven!
605
00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:08,960
Oh.
606
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:10,400
For me, that's a huge result.
607
00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:13,880
Thank you.
608
00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:16,560
But before we go, there's just time
for the caption competition.
609
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:18,360
Ian and Carol have this.
610
00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:22,240
SNP pick new auditor.
611
00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:23,760
Government ethics adviser
given unredacted access
612
00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:28,320
to Boris's WhatsApp.
613
00:27:28,360 --> 00:27:28,960
to Boris's WhatsApp.
614
00:27:32,360 --> 00:27:36,200
Paul and Nabil get this.
615
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:39,080
When they told me I was going to be
the branch manager,
616
00:27:39,120 --> 00:27:44,240
naturally I was very...
617
00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:47,640
On which note, we say thank
you to our panelists Ian Hislop
618
00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:50,360
and Carol Vorderman,
Paul Merton and Nabil Abdulrashid.
619
00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:53,360
And I leave you with news that
in an amazing coincidence in Buxton,
620
00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:55,600
the Bradford and Bingley
and Homepride Flour Company outings
621
00:27:55,640 --> 00:28:00,200
take place on the same day.
622
00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:00,880
take place on the same day.
623
00:28:03,080 --> 00:28:07,000
In ITV's revamped Bullseye,
there's concern that they've spent
624
00:28:07,040 --> 00:28:11,880
too much on Bully's Star Prize.
625
00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:11,960
too much on Bully's Star Prize.
626
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:14,360
And their suspicion of another smear
campaign against Suella Braverman
627
00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:16,560
as a file of speed camera
photos mysteriously emerges.
628
00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:21,440
Goodnight!
629
00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:21,720
Goodnight!