1 00:00:28,559 --> 00:00:33,679 APPLAUSE. 2 00:00:33,719 --> 00:00:33,799 APPLAUSE. 3 00:00:37,879 --> 00:00:41,479 Good evening. 4 00:00:41,519 --> 00:00:43,839 Welcome to Have I Got News For You. 5 00:00:43,879 --> 00:00:45,719 My name is David Tennant. 6 00:00:45,759 --> 00:00:50,639 And in the news this week, there is evidence that today's news 7 00:00:50,679 --> 00:00:52,559 outlets are far too obsessed with click bait. 8 00:00:52,599 --> 00:00:55,119 As someone hears that there is a squirrel on a skateboard 9 00:00:55,159 --> 00:00:57,159 in St James' Park. 10 00:01:03,919 --> 00:01:06,999 At the Department of Work and Pensions, some young civil 11 00:01:07,039 --> 00:01:09,399 servants react to being told they have to come into 12 00:01:09,439 --> 00:01:14,079 the office on Fridays. 13 00:01:14,119 --> 00:01:14,639 the office on Fridays. 14 00:01:14,999 --> 00:01:16,279 MAN SCREAMS. 15 00:01:16,319 --> 00:01:21,479 LAUGHTER. 16 00:01:28,279 --> 00:01:30,239 And, backstage on Russia's top satirical panel show, 17 00:01:30,279 --> 00:01:33,119 the guest host begins to lose confidence in the gags for this 18 00:01:33,159 --> 00:01:36,159 evening's performance. 19 00:01:38,239 --> 00:01:42,759 LAUGHTER. 20 00:01:42,799 --> 00:01:43,399 LAUGHTER. 21 00:01:47,879 --> 00:01:51,639 On Ian's team tonight is an actress and comedian who said people 22 00:01:51,679 --> 00:01:54,079 laughed when she told them she was marrying another comedian. 23 00:01:54,119 --> 00:01:57,999 Well, we're not laughing now. 24 00:01:58,039 --> 00:02:00,399 Which is a shame because they star in comedy together. 25 00:02:00,439 --> 00:02:02,319 Please welcome Lucy Beaumont. 26 00:02:02,359 --> 00:02:05,999 APPLAUSE. 27 00:02:06,039 --> 00:02:08,879 And on Paul's team tonight, a writer and a broadcaster whose bestseller, 28 00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:11,279 The Thursday Murder Club features a group of eccentric old-timers 29 00:02:11,319 --> 00:02:15,679 who get together once a week to air their crackpot theories... 30 00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:16,359 who get together once a week to air their crackpot theories... 31 00:02:16,439 --> 00:02:19,479 An idea he got one Thursday when he came and hosted this show. 32 00:02:19,519 --> 00:02:22,719 Please welcome Richard Osman. 33 00:02:22,759 --> 00:02:25,959 APPLAUSE. 34 00:02:25,999 --> 00:02:28,919 We begin with the bigger news stories of the week. 35 00:02:28,959 --> 00:02:31,359 Ian and Lucy, have a look at this. 36 00:02:31,399 --> 00:02:32,799 This is childcare. 37 00:02:32,839 --> 00:02:34,599 There's some kids looking after Rishi. 38 00:02:34,639 --> 00:02:37,479 Very nice of them. 39 00:02:37,519 --> 00:02:41,119 Don't drink that, it's got his wee in. 40 00:02:41,159 --> 00:02:43,999 And there's Rishi handing out papers. 41 00:02:44,039 --> 00:02:47,639 He's just working out how much his wife's going to make. 42 00:02:47,679 --> 00:02:50,439 Quite a complex equation! 43 00:02:50,479 --> 00:02:52,359 Shall we start with Rishi Sunak and childcare? 44 00:02:52,399 --> 00:02:53,879 Why don't we do that, yes. 45 00:02:53,919 --> 00:02:57,519 It transpired that the budget in the spring is going to include 46 00:02:57,559 --> 00:03:01,399 a measure that means they want to get childcare 47 00:03:01,439 --> 00:03:06,679 going so people going back to childcare get paid £600, 48 00:03:07,399 --> 00:03:09,759 unless they work for an agency, then they get £1200. 49 00:03:09,799 --> 00:03:12,999 They get double if they go through the agency and his wife just 50 00:03:13,039 --> 00:03:14,839 happens, by coincidence, to have shares in one 51 00:03:14,879 --> 00:03:15,919 of those agencies. 52 00:03:15,959 --> 00:03:17,839 And he didn't declare this at the time. 53 00:03:17,879 --> 00:03:18,879 He probably forgot. 54 00:03:18,919 --> 00:03:20,279 He's got other things to do. 55 00:03:20,319 --> 00:03:22,679 I've no idea what. 56 00:03:22,719 --> 00:03:24,599 He failed... He failed to declare the interest. 57 00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:26,199 Exactly. 58 00:03:26,239 --> 00:03:30,559 Labour's Angela Rayner said he'd created a transparency black hole. 59 00:03:30,599 --> 00:03:32,119 Ooh. What does that look like? 60 00:03:32,159 --> 00:03:34,239 That was in one of your episodes? 61 00:03:34,279 --> 00:03:38,559 LAUGHTER. 62 00:03:38,599 --> 00:03:39,479 LAUGHTER. 63 00:03:40,959 --> 00:03:43,119 But they've got shares in a lot of things. 64 00:03:43,159 --> 00:03:45,479 Do you think there is no company in Britain that 65 00:03:45,519 --> 00:03:46,559 Mrs Sunak doesn't own? 66 00:03:46,599 --> 00:03:48,999 Gregg's. Gregg's, I bet. 67 00:03:49,039 --> 00:03:50,719 LAUGHTER. 68 00:03:50,759 --> 00:03:52,919 Well, we'll see in the next budget, won't we? 69 00:03:52,959 --> 00:03:55,599 Sausage rolls go up 50 p. 70 00:03:55,639 --> 00:03:58,439 What else has Rishi been pushing to the nation recently? 71 00:03:58,479 --> 00:04:00,599 What's he very keen for us all to do? 72 00:04:00,639 --> 00:04:02,959 Maths. Maths! 73 00:04:02,999 --> 00:04:05,919 Yes, he wants to reimagine our approach to numeracy. 74 00:04:05,959 --> 00:04:08,039 I read that, like, his school has... 75 00:04:08,079 --> 00:04:11,559 The school he used to go to has a private art 76 00:04:11,599 --> 00:04:14,959 collection, I thought, like, my school had a private art 77 00:04:14,999 --> 00:04:18,959 collection, but it was like a cock and balls behind the bike shed. 78 00:04:18,999 --> 00:04:21,639 Was it a Picasso? 79 00:04:21,679 --> 00:04:23,999 That's a PRIVATES art collection, isn't it? 80 00:04:24,039 --> 00:04:28,479 LAUGHTER. 81 00:04:28,519 --> 00:04:29,239 LAUGHTER. 82 00:04:30,959 --> 00:04:32,959 I used to teach maths. Did you? 83 00:04:32,999 --> 00:04:37,599 Yeah. I know! 84 00:04:37,639 --> 00:04:38,879 He's announced this twice, now. 85 00:04:38,919 --> 00:04:40,239 It's his thing. 86 00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:42,359 But this time he actually elaborated and said, "look, 87 00:04:42,399 --> 00:04:45,079 if we were better at maths as a nation, you know, 88 00:04:45,119 --> 00:04:49,559 we would be less likely to lose tens of billions of pounds." 89 00:04:49,599 --> 00:04:53,999 You thought, "does the name Liz Truss ring a bell?" 90 00:04:54,039 --> 00:04:54,479 You thought, "does the name Liz Truss ring a bell?" 91 00:04:54,519 --> 00:04:56,479 Again, he tried to get people interested. 92 00:04:56,519 --> 00:04:59,359 There is a very funny clip of him talking to some students 93 00:04:59,399 --> 00:05:01,359 asking for questions. 94 00:05:01,399 --> 00:05:04,479 Yes, this is Rishi trying to sell the idea at a press conference 95 00:05:04,519 --> 00:05:06,279 and asking if anyone has any question. 96 00:05:06,319 --> 00:05:09,479 Who is next? Anyone else? 97 00:05:09,519 --> 00:05:11,599 All good? 98 00:05:11,639 --> 00:05:16,319 Anyone else have a question before we go to the media? 99 00:05:16,359 --> 00:05:16,879 Anyone else have a question before we go to the media? 100 00:05:17,399 --> 00:05:20,599 OK, gosh, very quiet! 101 00:05:20,639 --> 00:05:21,559 Any questions on things that are not related to mass? 102 00:05:24,679 --> 00:05:27,079 Any questions on things that are not related to maths? 103 00:05:27,119 --> 00:05:28,279 I'm also fine for those. 104 00:05:28,319 --> 00:05:29,839 All fine? 105 00:05:29,879 --> 00:05:32,919 OK, let's turn to the media for some questions. 106 00:05:32,959 --> 00:05:37,559 He does look like a supply teacher! 107 00:05:37,599 --> 00:05:37,919 He does look like a supply teacher! 108 00:05:38,039 --> 00:05:40,559 He wants everyone to study maths until they're at least 18. 109 00:05:40,599 --> 00:05:42,479 Let's see how hard the maths will be. 110 00:05:42,519 --> 00:05:45,879 This is a GCSE maths question. 111 00:05:45,919 --> 00:05:46,199 {\an8}This is a GCSE maths question. 112 00:05:46,239 --> 00:05:48,599 {\an8}Who's got it? Yeah, that's... 113 00:05:48,639 --> 00:05:53,119 {\an8}Yep, I do know that. But you go ahead. 114 00:05:53,159 --> 00:05:55,439 Well, got five GCE maths, which is the equivalent 115 00:05:55,479 --> 00:05:58,319 of 25-yard breaststroke. 116 00:05:58,359 --> 00:06:02,199 They've written it weird, but you can see it's two 117 00:06:02,239 --> 00:06:03,439 {\an8}times 104, so that's 208. 118 00:06:03,479 --> 00:06:04,479 {\an8}Yeah, 204... LAUGHTER. 119 00:06:04,519 --> 00:06:06,919 {\an8}Five times 103. Do we get a point for that? 120 00:06:06,959 --> 00:06:09,279 No. 121 00:06:09,319 --> 00:06:11,759 It's 0.0004. Oh, you! 122 00:06:11,799 --> 00:06:13,599 Oh, look at that! Here we go! 123 00:06:13,639 --> 00:06:15,839 Ian Hislop gets a point for that. 124 00:06:15,879 --> 00:06:18,319 APPLAUSE. 125 00:06:18,359 --> 00:06:20,719 How many people actually know that he got that right? 126 00:06:20,759 --> 00:06:25,359 Two people, look! 127 00:06:25,399 --> 00:06:25,959 Two people, look! 128 00:06:28,039 --> 00:06:30,719 One day, maths will be revealed as a gigantic hoax. 129 00:06:30,759 --> 00:06:33,759 It takes 15 men five days to run a bath, how many apples 130 00:06:33,799 --> 00:06:35,039 in a bunch of grapes? 131 00:06:35,079 --> 00:06:37,239 I mean, you know, who cares? 132 00:06:37,279 --> 00:06:39,599 Who's got a maths A-level here? No. 133 00:06:39,639 --> 00:06:41,279 Nothing? No? 134 00:06:41,319 --> 00:06:43,039 GCSE? No. 135 00:06:43,079 --> 00:06:47,599 You taught maths?? 136 00:06:47,639 --> 00:06:49,719 This is the state of education in this country. 137 00:06:49,759 --> 00:06:51,599 I wasn't happy about it, either. 138 00:06:51,639 --> 00:06:53,719 I didn't want to be there. 139 00:06:53,759 --> 00:06:56,639 I once said, half of you aren't going to get your GCSE, 140 00:06:56,679 --> 00:06:58,639 that's nearly 50%. 141 00:06:58,679 --> 00:07:00,839 LAUGHTER. 142 00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:03,759 What does Rishi blame for our poor maths skills? 143 00:07:03,799 --> 00:07:05,279 Pranksters. 144 00:07:05,319 --> 00:07:08,039 Once you get past 12, there are no other numbers. 145 00:07:08,079 --> 00:07:13,159 I surprised myself with that! 146 00:07:13,199 --> 00:07:13,319 I surprised myself with that! 147 00:07:14,679 --> 00:07:16,999 Rishi blames the anti-maths mindset. 148 00:07:17,039 --> 00:07:19,839 Yeah, we just heard it! 149 00:07:19,879 --> 00:07:23,839 He continued: 150 00:07:26,399 --> 00:07:28,959 He has a point. He has a real point. 151 00:07:28,999 --> 00:07:31,919 A decimal point. 152 00:07:31,959 --> 00:07:34,799 The report on claims of bullying by Dominic Raab has been handed 153 00:07:34,839 --> 00:07:37,079 to Number Ten but they're not going to make 154 00:07:37,119 --> 00:07:39,639 a decision on it today. 155 00:07:39,679 --> 00:07:42,319 But we are recording this the day before you see it, 156 00:07:42,359 --> 00:07:44,519 so by the time you see it, who knows? 157 00:07:44,559 --> 00:07:47,399 Does anyone want to make up what we think going to happen 158 00:07:47,439 --> 00:07:48,639 over the next 24 hours? 159 00:07:48,679 --> 00:07:50,599 Yeah. 160 00:07:50,639 --> 00:07:55,679 Well, I was going to declare the result of the bullying 161 00:07:55,719 --> 00:07:55,799 Well, I was going to declare the result of the bullying 162 00:07:56,239 --> 00:07:58,039 but then he said he'd thump me, so... 163 00:07:58,079 --> 00:08:01,439 I mean, you only have to look at him to realise he's completely innocent. 164 00:08:01,479 --> 00:08:04,319 You only have to look at him to realise he's completely guilty. 165 00:08:04,359 --> 00:08:05,359 LAUGHTER. 166 00:08:05,399 --> 00:08:07,279 We have to cover every possible eventuality here? 167 00:08:07,319 --> 00:08:08,479 Yeah, of course we do. 168 00:08:08,519 --> 00:08:11,119 And to go up and make that statement with Paul Chuckle 169 00:08:11,159 --> 00:08:12,119 from the Chuckle Brothers... 170 00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:14,279 Anyway, may he rest in peace! 171 00:08:14,319 --> 00:08:17,839 LAUGHTER. 172 00:08:17,879 --> 00:08:20,119 Elsewhere in Westminster, Jeremy Corbyn and Keir Starmer have 173 00:08:20,159 --> 00:08:22,679 been telling each other they're not friends any more. 174 00:08:22,719 --> 00:08:25,159 Oh, they've fallen out. 175 00:08:25,199 --> 00:08:27,279 Starmer said in a recent interview he wasn't friends 176 00:08:27,319 --> 00:08:30,919 with Jeremy Corbyn. 177 00:08:30,959 --> 00:08:32,119 But he did. He did. 178 00:08:32,159 --> 00:08:33,399 In 2019. 179 00:08:33,439 --> 00:08:37,799 He said: 180 00:08:37,839 --> 00:08:40,199 And Jeremy Corbyn said, this is playground stuff. 181 00:08:40,239 --> 00:08:41,919 He did. 182 00:08:41,959 --> 00:08:45,119 And then he said, actually, we weren't friends. 183 00:08:45,159 --> 00:08:46,199 That's exactly it. 184 00:08:46,239 --> 00:08:49,719 Jeremy Corbyn said: 185 00:08:55,759 --> 00:08:57,919 Ooh! 186 00:08:57,959 --> 00:09:02,039 Then added: 187 00:09:02,079 --> 00:09:06,879 LAUGHTER. 188 00:09:06,919 --> 00:09:07,279 LAUGHTER. 189 00:09:07,359 --> 00:09:08,079 I didn't spend time hanging out with him. 190 00:09:08,759 --> 00:09:10,639 Which Scottish politician might be arrested this week? 191 00:09:10,679 --> 00:09:13,799 I presume you're assuming that Nicola Sturgeon might be arrested? 192 00:09:13,839 --> 00:09:16,919 I'm assuming nothing. It's just a speculation. 193 00:09:16,959 --> 00:09:20,439 Yeah, I would think now it's rude not to arrest her. 194 00:09:20,479 --> 00:09:23,119 Nicola Sturgeon might be the next Scottish politician to be arrested 195 00:09:23,159 --> 00:09:25,759 after it emerged that she blocked scrutiny of the SNP's finances 196 00:09:25,799 --> 00:09:29,919 only a few weeks before the arrest of her husband. 197 00:09:29,959 --> 00:09:32,319 SNP First Minister Humza Yousaf has said he knows nothing 198 00:09:32,359 --> 00:09:36,599 and everyone believes him! 199 00:09:36,639 --> 00:09:37,559 and everyone believes him! 200 00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:41,479 It's all quite sexy, now, hasn't it? The SNP. 201 00:09:41,519 --> 00:09:44,679 With, like, lies, police uniforms. I'm interested, now. 202 00:09:44,719 --> 00:09:48,439 Yes. Because Happy Valley has finished. 203 00:09:48,479 --> 00:09:53,599 LAUGHTER. Something to get my teeth into. 204 00:09:57,559 --> 00:09:59,879 So, this is on Rishi Sunak's insistence that everyone should 205 00:09:59,919 --> 00:10:02,319 learn the maths up to the age of 18. 206 00:10:02,359 --> 00:10:07,439 According to the latest figures: 207 00:10:07,479 --> 00:10:07,599 According to the latest figures: 208 00:10:08,719 --> 00:10:10,279 Not great. 209 00:10:10,319 --> 00:10:14,359 Good enough to be the SNP treasurer, however... 210 00:10:14,399 --> 00:10:17,159 According to the Sunday Times Rich list, Rishi Sunak and his wife 211 00:10:17,199 --> 00:10:21,999 have a combined wealth of £730 million. 212 00:10:22,039 --> 00:10:25,519 But in much the same way that me and Usain Bolt have a combined total 213 00:10:25,559 --> 00:10:27,999 of eight Olympic gold medals. 214 00:10:28,039 --> 00:10:30,839 This week the report into Dominic Raab was handed 215 00:10:30,879 --> 00:10:33,479 over to Number Ten. 216 00:10:33,519 --> 00:10:36,719 Raab has had to pay a large sum for his own legal defence 217 00:10:36,759 --> 00:10:38,879 into allegations of bullying but he will give some 218 00:10:38,919 --> 00:10:41,039 of it back when he takes Rishi Sunak's dinner 219 00:10:41,079 --> 00:10:42,719 money off him. 220 00:10:42,759 --> 00:10:47,439 LAUGHTER. 221 00:10:47,479 --> 00:10:49,559 {\an8}Meanwhile, Tory party chairman Greg Hands was spotted 222 00:10:49,599 --> 00:10:52,159 {\an8}on the Laura Kuenssberg show having written notes on his hands. 223 00:10:52,199 --> 00:10:54,199 {\an8}Look at that. 224 00:10:54,239 --> 00:10:57,239 {\an8}So Greg Hands reads notes off his hands. 225 00:10:57,279 --> 00:11:01,599 Now we know why Ed Balls keeps glancing down below the desk. 226 00:11:01,639 --> 00:11:02,359 Now we know why Ed Balls keeps glancing down below the desk. 227 00:11:05,439 --> 00:11:07,599 Richard and Paul, take a look at this. 228 00:11:07,639 --> 00:11:12,239 Hmm. 229 00:11:12,279 --> 00:11:12,879 Hmm. 230 00:11:17,959 --> 00:11:21,279 Right, OK, this is obviously a start to a very big run in 1946. 231 00:11:21,319 --> 00:11:22,919 This is the runner, the female runner. 232 00:11:22,959 --> 00:11:25,559 Part of a, I don't know if it was a marathon. 233 00:11:25,599 --> 00:11:26,999 Was it a marathon? An ultramarathon. 234 00:11:27,039 --> 00:11:30,399 Towards the end, she got injured and she took a left in a car. 235 00:11:30,439 --> 00:11:32,799 And then got out and carried on and came third. 236 00:11:32,839 --> 00:11:33,759 You're absolutely right. 237 00:11:33,799 --> 00:11:36,199 What first alerted officials to the possibility that Scottish GP 238 00:11:36,239 --> 00:11:37,919 Joasia Zakrzewski hadn't run the entire distance? 239 00:11:37,959 --> 00:11:41,359 They saw her getting out of a car. LAUGHTER. 240 00:11:41,399 --> 00:11:42,999 Near the finishing line. 241 00:11:43,039 --> 00:11:46,159 She asked the organisers to tip the driver. 242 00:11:46,199 --> 00:11:49,519 I think it's that she was wearing one of those watches and she'd done 243 00:11:49,559 --> 00:11:52,719 one of the miles she'd done in one minute, seven seconds or something! 244 00:11:52,759 --> 00:11:55,319 It was GPS tracking data that found she'd reached a superhuman 245 00:11:55,359 --> 00:12:00,079 top speed of 35 mph. 246 00:12:00,119 --> 00:12:00,559 top speed of 35 mph. 247 00:12:04,239 --> 00:12:07,239 And that for part of the event she had followed the Main Road 248 00:12:07,279 --> 00:12:08,479 rather than the race route. 249 00:12:08,519 --> 00:12:10,119 Somebody did that entirely on the train. 250 00:12:10,159 --> 00:12:12,319 It took them five days and three hours. 251 00:12:12,359 --> 00:12:14,479 What explanation did Doctor Zakrzewski give for accepting 252 00:12:14,519 --> 00:12:16,799 a lift in her friend's car? 253 00:12:16,839 --> 00:12:19,079 She said, it's a really, really long way. 254 00:12:19,119 --> 00:12:20,199 Yeah. 255 00:12:20,239 --> 00:12:22,599 She told the BBC: 256 00:12:24,919 --> 00:12:29,559 She also said: 257 00:12:30,399 --> 00:12:35,119 Adding: 258 00:12:35,159 --> 00:12:35,599 Adding: 259 00:12:39,639 --> 00:12:41,799 Staying with sport, why was the World 260 00:12:41,839 --> 00:12:42,919 Snooker Championship interrupted? 261 00:12:42,959 --> 00:12:44,279 Oh, yes, yeah. 262 00:12:44,319 --> 00:12:48,959 There was a guy that got up on the table and, you know, 263 00:12:48,999 --> 00:12:49,439 There was a guy that got up on the table and, you know, 264 00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:51,879 threw some orange paint around and they had to postpone 265 00:12:51,919 --> 00:12:54,799 that particular game. 266 00:12:54,839 --> 00:12:56,719 {\an8}I don't quite know what that was for. 267 00:12:56,759 --> 00:13:01,679 {\an8}These are terrible, terrible scenes here at the Crucible. 268 00:13:01,719 --> 00:13:01,959 {\an8}These are terrible, terrible scenes here at the Crucible. 269 00:13:07,439 --> 00:13:09,999 I mean, you know, if the players will sit there drinking 270 00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:12,119 oil during the match... 271 00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:14,999 Then this, snooker, they did it because it's live but the relevance 272 00:13:15,039 --> 00:13:19,759 of snooker to oil consumption is, well, it's hard to see. 273 00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:20,239 of snooker to oil consumption is, well, it's hard to see. 274 00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:27,279 It's suggested on the front page of the Sun that he's 275 00:13:27,319 --> 00:13:28,719 a toff, is what I saw. 276 00:13:28,759 --> 00:13:31,359 So, maybe he saw this, he didn't really care because it's 277 00:13:31,399 --> 00:13:32,439 a working class sport. 278 00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:35,079 I saw it on the news but with the sound down 279 00:13:35,119 --> 00:13:37,919 and I thought they'd gone a bit, you know, like the Super 280 00:13:37,959 --> 00:13:38,999 Bowl at half-time? 281 00:13:39,039 --> 00:13:41,399 Thought they were trying to jazz it up a bit. 282 00:13:41,439 --> 00:13:42,839 The adjoining match was also interrupted 283 00:13:42,879 --> 00:13:45,199 by another protester, Margaret Reid, 52. 284 00:13:45,239 --> 00:13:46,799 Not a bad break. 285 00:13:46,839 --> 00:13:51,639 LAUGHTER. 286 00:13:51,679 --> 00:13:51,759 LAUGHTER. 287 00:13:51,879 --> 00:13:54,359 How did Master of Ceremonies, Rob Walker, react to the disruption? 288 00:13:54,399 --> 00:13:56,039 With anger, I suppose. 289 00:13:56,079 --> 00:13:58,279 Let's have a look. 290 00:13:58,319 --> 00:14:00,239 COMMENATOR:Having spent the money, your train ticket, 291 00:14:00,279 --> 00:14:02,879 potentially hotel, as well. 292 00:14:02,919 --> 00:14:04,799 Make no mistake, yeah, they're doing a... 293 00:14:04,839 --> 00:14:05,999 Is that Rob Walker there? 294 00:14:06,039 --> 00:14:07,319 Go on, Rob. 295 00:14:07,359 --> 00:14:08,759 How many jobs has he got? 296 00:14:08,799 --> 00:14:10,639 Commentator, MC. 297 00:14:10,679 --> 00:14:14,279 I saw him driving a bus earlier on today! 298 00:14:14,319 --> 00:14:16,199 He has got the marigolds on, as well. 299 00:14:16,239 --> 00:14:19,839 Fair play to him. 300 00:14:19,879 --> 00:14:24,559 PAUL:See the colour of that paint? 301 00:14:24,599 --> 00:14:25,079 PAUL:See the colour of that paint? 302 00:14:25,679 --> 00:14:27,639 That's the colour of our new bedroom curtains. 303 00:14:27,679 --> 00:14:29,279 I forgot we'd bought new bedroom curtains. 304 00:14:29,319 --> 00:14:33,679 Yeah. You volunteered to hang them for me. 305 00:14:33,719 --> 00:14:36,199 One of the voices you heard there was Jimmy White, 306 00:14:36,239 --> 00:14:40,479 who knows a thing or two about hoovering powder off a table. 307 00:14:40,519 --> 00:14:41,399 who knows a thing or two about hoovering powder off a table. 308 00:14:41,719 --> 00:14:46,799 APPLAUSE 309 00:14:46,879 --> 00:14:49,479 One "Just Stop Oil" activist made a very good point 310 00:14:49,519 --> 00:14:52,319 about the advantages of stopping the use of fossil fuels. 311 00:14:52,359 --> 00:14:54,719 Here he is on Jacob Rees-Mogg's show on GB News. 312 00:14:54,759 --> 00:14:55,719 Let's take a look. 313 00:14:55,759 --> 00:14:58,319 If we just stopped oil now, the lights would go out. 314 00:14:58,359 --> 00:15:01,479 Well, we wouldn't have to see you then, would we? 315 00:15:01,519 --> 00:15:02,919 But we're not asking for that. 316 00:15:02,959 --> 00:15:05,639 APPLAUSE 317 00:15:05,679 --> 00:15:07,279 Remarkably quick thinking, there. 318 00:15:07,319 --> 00:15:09,879 This started with the story of the ultra-runner who was later 319 00:15:09,919 --> 00:15:12,799 discovered to be an ultra-cheat, after it emerged she had been driven 320 00:15:12,839 --> 00:15:14,679 in a car for part of the race. 321 00:15:14,719 --> 00:15:16,359 Her disqualification was confirmed by Race Director... 322 00:15:16,399 --> 00:15:18,679 ..Wayne Drinkwater. 323 00:15:18,719 --> 00:15:21,959 Along with his running colleagues, Brian Stretchfirst, 324 00:15:21,999 --> 00:15:27,159 Chris Paceyourself and Danny Havefun. 325 00:15:31,239 --> 00:15:33,359 Meanwhile, a "Just Stop Oil" protestor interrupted a first-round 326 00:15:33,399 --> 00:15:35,399 game during the World Snooker Championship. 327 00:15:35,439 --> 00:15:37,679 The resulting mayhem was so chaotic that several members 328 00:15:37,719 --> 00:15:42,119 of the audience woke up. 329 00:15:42,159 --> 00:15:42,959 of the audience woke up. 330 00:15:44,359 --> 00:15:48,279 To the One-Armed Bandit of News. 331 00:15:48,319 --> 00:15:50,599 CHEERING 332 00:15:50,639 --> 00:15:51,879 Fingers on buzzers, teams. 333 00:15:51,919 --> 00:15:54,479 BUZZ 334 00:15:54,519 --> 00:15:58,719 Who is that, Paul? 335 00:15:58,759 --> 00:16:01,559 Yes, this is Fox News who have just had to pay out... 336 00:16:01,599 --> 00:16:04,719 There was going to be a huge court case in America. 337 00:16:04,759 --> 00:16:07,359 Fox News was full of stories after Trump lost the election, 338 00:16:07,399 --> 00:16:08,879 saying, "It's the machines, they're fixed, 339 00:16:08,919 --> 00:16:11,959 every time somebody voted for trump, it came out a vote for Biden." 340 00:16:11,999 --> 00:16:14,639 They were willing to tell lies they knew to be wrong 341 00:16:14,679 --> 00:16:19,319 so they would not lose any viewers, and Rupert Murdoch just couldn't 342 00:16:19,359 --> 00:16:19,639 so they would not lose any viewers, and Rupert Murdoch just couldn't 343 00:16:19,799 --> 00:16:22,719 face coming to a court case so he has paid up something 344 00:16:22,759 --> 00:16:24,119 like $670 million, something like that. 345 00:16:24,159 --> 00:16:25,559 $787.5 million. The .5 is important. 346 00:16:25,599 --> 00:16:27,919 If I understood maths, it would be a big figure. 347 00:16:27,959 --> 00:16:29,479 It's not just a big figure. 348 00:16:29,519 --> 00:16:31,359 It's a record deformation payout ever for anything. 349 00:16:31,399 --> 00:16:32,359 Is it? 350 00:16:32,399 --> 00:16:34,799 There's another election machine and they are going to try 351 00:16:34,839 --> 00:16:36,199 and sue him for 2.7 billion. 352 00:16:36,239 --> 00:16:40,319 I'm not following it very closely... 353 00:16:40,359 --> 00:16:43,239 What Fox News did, basically, he was lying to the American people, 354 00:16:43,279 --> 00:16:45,399 saying that Trump is right, the election has been 355 00:16:45,439 --> 00:16:48,919 stolen, and now they've admitted this isn't true. 356 00:16:48,959 --> 00:16:52,079 So, I would say, that it's treason. 357 00:16:52,119 --> 00:16:54,079 And that some 92-year-olds could go to jail. 358 00:16:54,119 --> 00:16:55,639 What, for life, or six weeks? 359 00:16:55,679 --> 00:16:58,519 Whichever comes sooner. 360 00:16:58,559 --> 00:17:01,559 The figures are just staggering. 361 00:17:01,599 --> 00:17:05,039 I mean, I sound very excited. 362 00:17:05,079 --> 00:17:10,239 There was a time when I had the record libel payout... 363 00:17:10,319 --> 00:17:14,559 It was reported by CNN that the settlement amount 364 00:17:14,599 --> 00:17:14,919 It was reported by CNN that the settlement amount 365 00:17:14,959 --> 00:17:17,239 of $787.5 million that Dominion accepted was nearly ten times 366 00:17:17,279 --> 00:17:20,919 the valuation of their company. 367 00:17:20,959 --> 00:17:21,919 Hard not to settle. 368 00:17:21,959 --> 00:17:24,599 What are they going to do with all that money? 369 00:17:24,639 --> 00:17:27,199 Will they input those voting machines? 370 00:17:27,239 --> 00:17:31,359 They could make them like simulators where you walk in and you're 371 00:17:31,399 --> 00:17:33,799 on a roller-coaster, you know, you go in and vote 372 00:17:33,839 --> 00:17:38,719 and then you come out and your hair has been done. 373 00:17:38,759 --> 00:17:41,119 Will they just share it amongst them or just use 374 00:17:41,159 --> 00:17:43,559 it for the machines? 375 00:17:43,599 --> 00:17:45,959 It's a good question cos it's a lot of money. 376 00:17:45,999 --> 00:17:48,359 How have the other US news channels reacted to this? 377 00:17:48,399 --> 00:17:50,319 CNN, I would imagine, would be quite happy. 378 00:17:50,359 --> 00:17:52,959 Let's see what CNN had to say. 379 00:17:52,999 --> 00:17:54,439 Fox issued a statement saying, 380 00:17:54,479 --> 00:17:57,119 "We are pleased to have reached a settlement of our dispute... 381 00:17:57,159 --> 00:17:59,239 Dispute! 382 00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:01,439 "..with Dominion Voting Systems. 383 00:18:01,479 --> 00:18:03,399 "We acknowledge the court's rulings, finding certain claims 384 00:18:03,439 --> 00:18:04,599 about Dominion to be false. 385 00:18:04,639 --> 00:18:06,919 "The settlement reflects..." 386 00:18:06,959 --> 00:18:09,319 I'm sorry, this is going to be difficult to say 387 00:18:09,359 --> 00:18:10,559 with a straight face. 388 00:18:10,599 --> 00:18:12,919 "This settlement reflects Fox's continued commitment to the highest 389 00:18:12,959 --> 00:18:14,239 journalistic standards. 390 00:18:14,279 --> 00:18:15,839 "We hope..." 391 00:18:15,879 --> 00:18:20,439 Sorry! 392 00:18:20,479 --> 00:18:20,999 Sorry! 393 00:18:21,399 --> 00:18:23,999 The lawsuit between Dominion and Fox is part of an ongoing 394 00:18:24,039 --> 00:18:27,199 battle over free speech and media accountability. 395 00:18:27,239 --> 00:18:30,079 In the US it's led to accusations of election rigging, 396 00:18:30,119 --> 00:18:32,479 incitement to violence, a riot at the seat of government, 397 00:18:32,519 --> 00:18:34,239 and several deaths. 398 00:18:34,279 --> 00:18:37,639 And in the UK, Match of the Day only showed the goals one week. 399 00:18:37,679 --> 00:18:39,679 LAUGHTER 400 00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:40,719 Fingers on buzzers, teams. 401 00:18:40,759 --> 00:18:45,679 Here we go again! 402 00:18:46,279 --> 00:18:47,279 What's this all about? 403 00:18:47,319 --> 00:18:48,279 BELL 404 00:18:48,319 --> 00:18:49,719 Ian. 405 00:18:49,759 --> 00:18:54,439 It's called a cassette tape. 406 00:18:54,479 --> 00:18:54,919 It's called a cassette tape. 407 00:18:55,839 --> 00:18:58,359 It's a sort of modern thing that you put music in... 408 00:18:58,399 --> 00:18:59,399 Yes. ..and it plays. 409 00:18:59,439 --> 00:19:01,799 You can put a pencil in it, as well, and... 410 00:19:01,839 --> 00:19:02,839 I've got one here. 411 00:19:02,879 --> 00:19:05,599 Who remembers that? 412 00:19:05,639 --> 00:19:06,599 APPLAUSE 413 00:19:06,639 --> 00:19:08,039 Why are they in the news? 414 00:19:08,079 --> 00:19:12,079 Ah... 415 00:19:12,119 --> 00:19:14,999 Ian thought this round was called Guess The Object! 416 00:19:15,039 --> 00:19:17,279 They're not making a comeback, are they? 417 00:19:17,319 --> 00:19:19,679 Yes, they're making a comeback. 418 00:19:19,719 --> 00:19:22,239 There are lots of songs from my youth that, 419 00:19:22,279 --> 00:19:27,399 when they get to a certain part, I expect them to stop, 420 00:19:27,439 --> 00:19:27,519 when they get to a certain part, I expect them to stop, 421 00:19:28,639 --> 00:19:32,079 because it was at the end of the side of a tape, 422 00:19:32,119 --> 00:19:35,199 so when they carry on, I'm like, "Oh, there's another half, is there? 423 00:19:35,239 --> 00:19:37,599 "Who knew Matt Bianco wrote another half to that song?" 424 00:19:37,639 --> 00:19:39,999 After a resurgence in vinyl, it's now emerged that sales 425 00:19:40,039 --> 00:19:42,799 of the cassette tape are at a 20-year high. 426 00:19:42,839 --> 00:19:46,919 Yes, but they haven't sold any in 20 years! 427 00:19:46,959 --> 00:19:49,119 Ian, have you returned to the wax cylinder yet? 428 00:19:49,159 --> 00:19:50,439 Where are you up to? 429 00:19:50,479 --> 00:19:54,999 No, I can stream. 430 00:19:55,039 --> 00:19:55,639 No, I can stream. 431 00:19:55,719 --> 00:19:58,919 Well, you have got to expect it at your age, haven't you? 432 00:19:58,959 --> 00:20:02,919 APPLAUSE 433 00:20:02,959 --> 00:20:04,639 Very different from your age, of course. 434 00:20:04,679 --> 00:20:07,959 Indeed. Very different indeed. 435 00:20:07,999 --> 00:20:10,559 In other news, a T Rex has been sold at auction. 436 00:20:10,599 --> 00:20:12,279 Here it is. 437 00:20:12,319 --> 00:20:15,199 The skull came from Montana, the body was dug up in Wyoming, 438 00:20:15,239 --> 00:20:18,039 and they went all the way to Switzerland to get that lady 439 00:20:18,079 --> 00:20:19,719 in the cardigan stuck to that pole. 440 00:20:19,759 --> 00:20:21,679 How much do you think it is worth? 441 00:20:21,719 --> 00:20:22,679 1.7 million. 442 00:20:22,719 --> 00:20:23,879 A bit more than that. 443 00:20:23,919 --> 00:20:25,319 Wasn't Leonardo DiCaprio bidding for it? 444 00:20:25,359 --> 00:20:26,399 Oh, was he? 445 00:20:26,439 --> 00:20:29,719 It must be too old for him. 446 00:20:29,759 --> 00:20:34,319 APPLAUSE 447 00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:34,919 APPLAUSE 448 00:20:36,239 --> 00:20:37,639 The skeleton sold for £5 million. 449 00:20:37,679 --> 00:20:38,799 Wow. 450 00:20:38,839 --> 00:20:41,479 Time now for the Odd One Out round. 451 00:20:41,519 --> 00:20:43,799 Just one between you this week. 452 00:20:43,839 --> 00:20:47,039 The four are Bolton Wanders, Brecon Beacons National Park, 453 00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:48,639 BBC News, and Toblerone. 454 00:20:48,679 --> 00:20:49,639 BUZZ 455 00:20:49,679 --> 00:20:52,639 Yes, Paul. 456 00:20:52,679 --> 00:20:55,639 Yes, well, the Brecon Beacons this week announced 457 00:20:55,679 --> 00:20:59,079 they are going to change the name from Brecon Beacons to a Welsh name. 458 00:20:59,119 --> 00:21:01,919 Toblerone can no longer feature a mountain on their packaging 459 00:21:01,959 --> 00:21:04,919 because I don't think they are being made in Switzerland 460 00:21:04,959 --> 00:21:06,119 any more, is that right? 461 00:21:06,159 --> 00:21:08,439 Yes, I think Slovenia or something like that. 462 00:21:08,479 --> 00:21:11,639 So, basically, Toblerone is the odd one out because all the other three 463 00:21:11,679 --> 00:21:14,279 have changed their names recently but Toblerone has had to change 464 00:21:14,319 --> 00:21:15,439 the design of their packaging. 465 00:21:15,479 --> 00:21:18,599 I'm going to have to tell you, they have all had a rebrand, 466 00:21:18,639 --> 00:21:20,759 apart from Bolton Wanderers, who have had a change 467 00:21:20,799 --> 00:21:21,759 of stadium sponsor. 468 00:21:21,799 --> 00:21:23,319 Oh! 469 00:21:23,359 --> 00:21:25,719 The League One team recently revealed that they've struck 470 00:21:25,759 --> 00:21:28,079 a new stadium sponsor deal with a local building products 471 00:21:28,119 --> 00:21:29,999 company called Toughsheet. 472 00:21:30,039 --> 00:21:34,559 LAUGHTER 473 00:21:34,599 --> 00:21:37,599 Hmm. 474 00:21:37,639 --> 00:21:40,199 Which means that, for the next five years, they'll be playing 475 00:21:40,239 --> 00:21:41,599 in the Toughsheet Community Stadium. 476 00:21:41,639 --> 00:21:45,599 It could be worse, though. 477 00:21:45,639 --> 00:21:47,719 What did National League team Southend United accidentally name 478 00:21:47,759 --> 00:21:49,199 one of their stands last year? 479 00:21:49,239 --> 00:21:51,839 I think it was an estate agents or something called Rose... 480 00:21:51,879 --> 00:21:52,839 Gilbert & Rose, yes. 481 00:21:52,879 --> 00:21:57,199 ..and it was the West Stand that became known as the Rose West Stand. 482 00:21:57,239 --> 00:21:58,119 ..and it was the West Stand that became known as the Rose West Stand. 483 00:21:59,959 --> 00:22:02,319 How are the Brecon Beacons National Park having a rebrand? 484 00:22:02,359 --> 00:22:03,999 Who wants a go at pronouncing it? 485 00:22:04,039 --> 00:22:05,039 IAN:Bannau Brycheiniog. 486 00:22:05,079 --> 00:22:06,719 That sounds quite good. 487 00:22:06,759 --> 00:22:09,799 Let's cross to our Welsh correspondent. 488 00:22:09,839 --> 00:22:13,919 The correct pronunciation is Bannau Brycheiniog. 489 00:22:13,959 --> 00:22:18,039 Bannau Brycheiniog. 490 00:22:18,079 --> 00:22:21,919 Thanks, Michael. 491 00:22:21,959 --> 00:22:23,759 APPLAUSE 492 00:22:23,799 --> 00:22:25,479 He's very good, isn't he, Michael Sheen? 493 00:22:25,519 --> 00:22:26,479 Don't you think? 494 00:22:26,519 --> 00:22:27,919 He's all right. Oh, he's good. 495 00:22:27,959 --> 00:22:29,839 You know what, anything he does, he carries. 496 00:22:29,879 --> 00:22:31,879 Yes, he does. 497 00:22:31,919 --> 00:22:35,359 He's got such charisma. He's the actor of his generation. 498 00:22:35,399 --> 00:22:39,679 And I love his floor polish. 499 00:22:39,719 --> 00:22:40,519 And I love his floor polish. 500 00:22:41,279 --> 00:22:46,079 Do people in Scotland like you as much as people in Wales like him? 501 00:22:46,119 --> 00:22:46,479 Do people in Scotland like you as much as people in Wales like him? 502 00:22:50,159 --> 00:22:53,599 He's versatile, that's the thing. 503 00:22:53,639 --> 00:22:56,519 He can do comedy and drama which a lot of actors can't... 504 00:22:56,559 --> 00:22:57,919 No, they can't. 505 00:22:57,959 --> 00:22:59,319 Doesn't rely on props. 506 00:22:59,359 --> 00:23:00,439 Exactly that. 507 00:23:00,479 --> 00:23:01,439 Doesn't rely on props. 508 00:23:01,479 --> 00:23:04,119 Oh, he does. 509 00:23:04,159 --> 00:23:05,599 You're not a prop. 510 00:23:05,639 --> 00:23:08,799 Come on. 511 00:23:08,839 --> 00:23:13,719 APPLAUSE 512 00:23:13,759 --> 00:23:13,999 APPLAUSE 513 00:23:14,319 --> 00:23:16,479 So what rebrand have Toblerone been forced to make? 514 00:23:16,519 --> 00:23:18,079 Do they have to change the mountain? 515 00:23:18,119 --> 00:23:19,159 Yes. 516 00:23:19,199 --> 00:23:21,279 They have had to remove the Matterhorn from packaging. 517 00:23:21,319 --> 00:23:22,359 Oh, I see. 518 00:23:22,399 --> 00:23:25,439 A handful of people are said to be gutted but most of Switzerland 519 00:23:25,479 --> 00:23:28,639 is pretty neutral on the matter. 520 00:23:28,679 --> 00:23:32,839 Toblerone can no longer use the Matterhorn on their packaging. 521 00:23:32,879 --> 00:23:36,479 Another protected name under threat is the Dundee fruitcake. 522 00:23:36,519 --> 00:23:40,279 Or, as it's better known, the accountant for the SNP. 523 00:23:40,319 --> 00:23:45,359 How was the BBC News Channel rebranded this month? 524 00:23:45,439 --> 00:23:48,719 BBC News and BBC Worldwide have just become BBC. 525 00:23:48,759 --> 00:23:51,599 Yes, meaning the two channels are now sharing content and they've 526 00:23:51,639 --> 00:23:55,479 also told reporters on location that in order to gain the trust 527 00:23:55,519 --> 00:23:58,639 of viewers they should dress down, try to look more "sweaty and dirty." 528 00:23:58,679 --> 00:24:01,599 What?! 529 00:24:01,639 --> 00:24:06,719 Yes, you should see what I'm wearing under here. 530 00:24:06,839 --> 00:24:10,839 And why should Estonian politician Rain Epler consider a rebrand? 531 00:24:10,879 --> 00:24:12,919 Does it mean something in Estonian, is it rude? 532 00:24:12,959 --> 00:24:16,639 No, it's not that. 533 00:24:16,679 --> 00:24:21,719 Epler has been labelled by The Independent as... 534 00:24:21,759 --> 00:24:21,839 Epler has been labelled by The Independent as... 535 00:24:22,039 --> 00:24:24,919 You're probably assuming he's some sort of lunatic, but here he is... 536 00:24:24,959 --> 00:24:27,799 LAUGHTER 537 00:24:27,839 --> 00:24:31,439 Wow. 538 00:24:31,479 --> 00:24:36,559 Honestly, Michael Sheen can turn into anyone. 539 00:24:36,599 --> 00:24:36,679 Honestly, Michael Sheen can turn into anyone. 540 00:24:37,719 --> 00:24:41,359 Time now for the Missing Words round which this week features 541 00:24:41,399 --> 00:24:42,439 as its guest publication, 542 00:24:42,479 --> 00:24:44,439 "The Handwritten Letter Appreciation Society." 543 00:24:44,479 --> 00:24:47,639 If you really want to wind up the editor, drop her an e-mail. 544 00:24:47,679 --> 00:24:49,759 We start with... 545 00:24:51,679 --> 00:24:55,519 LUCY:Greta Thunberg. 546 00:24:55,599 --> 00:24:59,959 {\an8}RICHARD:Is it legroom? 547 00:24:59,999 --> 00:25:00,559 {\an8}RICHARD:Is it legroom? 548 00:25:02,959 --> 00:25:03,999 {\an8}Oh, wow. 549 00:25:04,039 --> 00:25:05,559 {\an8}It's the dream. 550 00:25:05,599 --> 00:25:09,279 This is Paul Wilkinson who found himself as the only person 551 00:25:09,319 --> 00:25:12,159 on a flight from Portugal to Belfast. 552 00:25:12,199 --> 00:25:15,359 According to The Times... 553 00:25:15,399 --> 00:25:17,999 The cabin crew threw eggs at him and said his wife 554 00:25:18,039 --> 00:25:18,999 should never be Queen. 555 00:25:19,039 --> 00:25:22,239 Next... 556 00:25:24,999 --> 00:25:29,679 LUCY:Chip butty that you can live in. 557 00:25:29,719 --> 00:25:30,119 LUCY:Chip butty that you can live in. 558 00:25:32,679 --> 00:25:34,039 PAUL:Combined bungee jump massage parlour? 559 00:25:34,079 --> 00:25:35,119 No. 560 00:25:35,159 --> 00:25:36,479 In and out in five minutes. 561 00:25:36,519 --> 00:25:38,279 I think they've got one of them. 562 00:25:38,319 --> 00:25:40,279 Is it Philip Larkin Centre? 563 00:25:40,319 --> 00:25:44,559 No. 564 00:25:44,599 --> 00:25:44,639 No. 565 00:25:44,679 --> 00:25:48,359 Oh, I should know, yeah. 566 00:25:48,399 --> 00:25:49,359 Everyone's raving about it. 567 00:25:49,399 --> 00:25:51,159 Yeah? 568 00:25:51,199 --> 00:25:54,359 This is the news that a city centre bar in Hull is offering 569 00:25:54,399 --> 00:25:56,279 an all-you-can-eat buffet of 30 different crisp varieties. 570 00:25:56,319 --> 00:25:59,039 The organiser of the event said... 571 00:25:59,079 --> 00:26:03,679 Cardiologists? 572 00:26:06,319 --> 00:26:10,839 Next... 573 00:26:11,799 --> 00:26:16,439 LUCY:The hunting down and ritual slaughter of Moonpig. 574 00:26:16,479 --> 00:26:16,999 LUCY:The hunting down and ritual slaughter of Moonpig. 575 00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:21,719 APPLAUSE 576 00:26:24,319 --> 00:26:26,879 It was... 577 00:26:26,919 --> 00:26:31,319 Oh, we would have got there in the end, wouldn't we? 578 00:26:31,359 --> 00:26:32,119 Oh, we would have got there in the end, wouldn't we? 579 00:26:32,479 --> 00:26:34,759 Along with a post box crawl, the Handwritten Letter Appreciation 580 00:26:34,799 --> 00:26:35,919 Society also had a cake. 581 00:26:35,959 --> 00:26:39,719 Look at this. 582 00:26:39,839 --> 00:26:41,079 Sweet. 583 00:26:41,119 --> 00:26:42,159 Aww. 584 00:26:42,199 --> 00:26:44,359 That's lovely. 585 00:26:44,399 --> 00:26:47,999 In three weeks' time, someone will get that. 586 00:26:48,039 --> 00:26:50,759 If you're a member of the Handwritten Letter 587 00:26:50,799 --> 00:26:52,519 Appreciation Society, congratulations for 588 00:26:52,559 --> 00:26:56,839 surviving the winter. 589 00:26:56,879 --> 00:26:57,799 surviving the winter. 590 00:27:01,759 --> 00:27:06,079 So, on that bombshell, the final scores are Ian 591 00:27:06,119 --> 00:27:08,559 and Lucy have four points. 592 00:27:08,599 --> 00:27:09,799 Paul and Richard have 14. 593 00:27:09,839 --> 00:27:10,879 14 points. 594 00:27:10,919 --> 00:27:11,839 Well done. 595 00:27:11,879 --> 00:27:14,999 CHEERING 596 00:27:15,039 --> 00:27:17,839 Before we go, there is just time for the Caption Competition. 597 00:27:17,879 --> 00:27:22,319 LUCY:"Let it go, Harry, they're not going to invite you." 598 00:27:22,359 --> 00:27:23,079 LUCY:"Let it go, Harry, they're not going to invite you." 599 00:27:24,479 --> 00:27:27,039 On which note, we say thank you to our panellists, 600 00:27:27,079 --> 00:27:29,919 Ian Hislop and Lucy Beaumont, Paul Merton and Richard Osman. 601 00:27:29,959 --> 00:27:33,399 And I leave you with news that in Berkshire, there's a mix-up 602 00:27:33,439 --> 00:27:36,279 in the Celebrity Bake Off tent when one of the contestants realises 603 00:27:36,319 --> 00:27:41,439 they've accidentally iced a hat. 604 00:27:41,479 --> 00:27:41,519 they've accidentally iced a hat. 605 00:27:43,759 --> 00:27:46,559 In Downing Street, after trying both wide-angle and zoom lenses, 606 00:27:46,599 --> 00:27:50,999 photographers have to accept there's no way of taking a balanced picture. 607 00:27:51,039 --> 00:27:51,639 photographers have to accept there's no way of taking a balanced picture. 608 00:27:54,679 --> 00:27:58,519 And as King Charles promises to make his Coronation 609 00:27:58,559 --> 00:28:00,359 environmentally friendly, Swedish Royals begin their low 610 00:28:00,399 --> 00:28:04,839 carbon footprint journey to London. 611 00:28:04,879 --> 00:28:05,199 carbon footprint journey to London. 612 00:28:05,239 --> 00:28:07,079 Goodnight. 613 00:28:07,119 --> 00:28:12,279 APPLAUSE 614 00:28:12,319 --> 00:28:12,359 APPLAUSE 615 00:28:45,199 --> 00:28:45,359 David, 616 00:28:45,399 --> 00:28:45,599 David, you 617 00:28:45,639 --> 00:28:45,799 David, you will 618 00:28:45,839 --> 00:28:45,959 David, you will be 619 00:28:45,999 --> 00:28:46,199 David, you will be very 620 00:28:46,239 --> 00:28:46,399 David, you will be very good 621 00:28:46,439 --> 00:28:47,159 tonight. 622 00:28:47,199 --> 00:28:47,439 tonight. I 623 00:28:47,479 --> 00:28:47,599 tonight. I can 624 00:28:47,639 --> 00:28:47,799 tonight. I can only 625 00:28:47,839 --> 00:28:47,999 tonight. I can only think 626 00:28:48,039 --> 00:28:49,159 tonight. I can only think of 627 00:28:49,199 --> 00:28:49,399 tonight. I can only think of one 628 00:28:49,439 --> 00:28:49,519 tonight. I can only think of one man 629 00:28:49,559 --> 00:28:49,799 tonight. I can only think of one man who 630 00:28:49,839 --> 00:28:49,999 who could 631 00:28:50,039 --> 00:28:50,159 who could have 632 00:28:50,199 --> 00:28:50,359 who could have done 633 00:28:50,399 --> 00:28:50,599 who could have done it 634 00:28:50,639 --> 00:28:50,759 who could have done it better!