[laughing]
- Aw. - Aw.
[yawns]
[laughing]
Stop.
Why?
Derek, stop.
Okay.
Why'd you stop?
I lost my head.
You know, Ash, it's been great being back in town
visiting all the colleges.
But the best part has been being with you.
Tsk. Oh.
I miss you.
Me, too.
Sixteen years on the same street
and you had to blow it by moving.
Hey, if I don't get into Stanford, I'll go to ULA.
And then I'll be around all the time.
Derek, you'll get in. You're too smart. I wish you were dumber.
I'd have a boyfriend again.
Hey, you never stopped having one.
You're saying that 'cause you like me.
No. I'm saying that 'cause I love you.
Aw!
Look at you two.
Almost a year apart and you two lovebirds haven't missed a beat.
- Will, look-- - Not another word.
I'm not gonna disturb you.
I'm gonna just go in the kitchen
and get me a little beverage
or something.
[camera shutter clicks]
Although, these are the moments of your life.
- Will. - Oh, no, no, yo-you're right.
You guys are grown adults, and, you know, I don't have
no business disrespecting you like this.
I'm sorry. I'm gonna just go away.
[camera shutter clicks]
- I'm sorry. - Hey.
I got something for you.
- Oh, Derek, what is it? - Just open it.
Oh, a little horse.
Yep. That's from when we rode the carousel down at the pier.
That's when we first held hands.
Unh-unh-unh.
Oh, my God, a little rollerblade.
Eh? Remember when we went roller skating down in Venice?
That's when we first kissed.
Derek, this is so sweet. I can't believe you did this.
You know, we've had a lot of firsts together.
I know.
You know, Ashley, there's a..
There's another first I think we should do together.
Really? What?
Well, I love you, Ashley, and I think we should make love.
Together?
[theme song]
♪ Now this is a story ♪
♪ All about how my life got flipped ♪
♪ Turned upside-down and I'd like to take a minute ♪
♪ Just sit right there I'll tell you how I became the prince ♪
♪ Of a town called Bel-Air ♪
♪ In West Philadelphia born and raised ♪
♪ On the playground is where I spent most of my days ♪
♪ Chillin' out maxin' relaxing all cool ♪
♪ And all shootin' some B-ball outside of the school ♪
♪ When a couple of guys who were up to no good ♪
♪ Started makin' trouble in my neighborhood ♪
♪ I got in one little fight and my mom got scared ♪
♪ And said you're moving with your auntie ♪
♪ And uncle in Bel-Air ♪
♪ I whistled for a cab ♪
♪ And when it came near ♪
♪ The license plate said fresh ♪
♪ And it had dice in the mirror ♪
♪ If anything I can say ♪
♪ That this cab was rare ♪
♪ But I thought nah forget it ♪
♪ Yo homes to Bel-Air ♪
♪ I pulled up to a house about seven or eight ♪
♪ And I yelled to the cabbie yo homes smell you later ♪
♪ I looked at my kingdom I was finally there ♪
♪ To sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air ♪♪
[instrumental music]
Good morning, Geoffrey.
Playing dress-up again, Master Carlton?
For your information, I'm installing
the new intercom system.
You?
[laughing]
Yuck it up, Brit boy, but remember, he who laughs last..
[electricity crackling]
Laughs best.
[laughing]
You know, I kind of remember him being taller.
Really? I don't.
- Whoo! - Whoo!
Excuse me, Carlton.
I'm gonna let that one slide, young man.
Obviously, you've fallen in with a bad element.
Hey, yo, Derek, man, I'm telling you, you'd love ULA.
You gotta come down and check it out.
Me and my man, we call it the Hive.
Because the honeys be swarming.
- Can you hear me? - Oh.
Can you hear me?
Oh, hi, Derek.
Oh, hi, Ashley.
That's disgusting.
No. Actually, Carlton, that's a kiss.
If you're lucky, one day you'll experience one.
Very funny. By the way, Will, I just got a call from Oz
the wizard said your brain is ready.
So, Ash, we're still on for tonight, right?
Uh, yeah.
What are you, tripping, man? She can't say no to you.
- Will.. - What?
That's great. Look, I gotta go do a couple errands.
- I'm out of here. - Okay. Bye.
I'm watching you, mister.
Really? Let me help you.
[chuckles]
I never liked the cut of that boy's jib.
I'm not sure you should be admitting
you've been looking at that boy's jib.
[instrumental music]
- Hi, dad. - Hi, baby.
- Um, has mom called yet? - Yeah, you just missed her.
Is there something I can help you with?
No. No. I-I just wanted to see
how her conference was going.
I had a question about, uh..
...um, makeup.
Makeup?
Keep away from that blue eye shadow.
[laughing]
Great. Thanks, dad.
Oh, Hilary, can I talk to you for a minute?
Not now, Ash, my show starts in five minutes.
Uh-oh. Big-sister radar.
It's important, isn't it?
I can tell. I have, like, a third sense about these things.
Hilary, do you remember the first time you fell in love?
Oh, this is important.
Come. Come. Come.
Sit. Sit. Sit.
It was Lawrence Young, the most beautiful man at Bel-Air prep.
Oh! To put it simply, he was a God.
He had been held back three years, so he was really buff.
Oh, he had the most amazing--
Hilary, I, I get the picture.
Oh, Ashley, are you in love?
I think so. I feel like Derek's the one.
I don't think I'll ever feel this way about anybody else.
Oh, Ash, I am so happy for you.
But long-distance relationships don't usually work out.
I mean, look at the Little Mermaid.
I mean, she was stuck in the sea and he was stuck on land.
But they ended up together.
Yeah, with the help of a lobster. You know a lobster?
Look, Hilary, Derek and I have been spending
a lot of time together and we really care about each other.
And last night, the subject came up about, um..
...uh, sex.
Oh.
- Oh, did you? - No, no.
No.
But I've been thinking about it
and...I-I just wanna know
how you know if--
I can just tell you that for me
Lawrence and I really loved each other
and we both felt that we were able to make
a responsible decision.
We decided that the time was right.
Any regrets?
Didn't I tell you he was buff? Hello.
[laughing]
But, I mean, Hilary, weren't you scared?
Of course, everyone is. But I was ready.
And only you know if you're ready or not.
Ashley, for as long as I can remember
you have been independent
responsible and smart.
Now, I know you're aware of all the issues
and whatever decision you do make, I'm always here for you.
Thank you, Hilary.
Oh.
Now I know how mom felt when we had this talk.
What did daddy say when you told him?
Are you kidding? He still thinks I'm a virgin.
[laughing]
[instrumental music]
Okay, what do you think?
- Nope. - Nope.
Well, if you guys don't pick one, I'll be going on this date
wearing a headband.
I'm sure Derek wouldn't mind.
Keesha, he's not like that.
He says we're soul mates.
I don't know what I'm gonna do when he leaves.
I miss him already.
Somebody is in love.
[laughing]
So, um, are you guys, you know..
No.
Have you guys ever..
- Nope. - Nope.
But it sounds like you're getting close.
Well, all I know is when Derek and I make love
it'll be special.
- When? - If.
Will, the new intercom system is working like gangbusters.
Now we can talk to one another from different rooms.
Carlton, I don't wanna talk to you when we're in the same room.
Check out the exciting new roam feature.
Let's listen to my room.
Well, all's quiet in there.
Ooh, there's a surprise.
Subject, Geoffrey's room.
(Geoffrey over intercom) 'I wonder how I'd look if I shaved my entire body.'
Changing channels.
(Keesha over intercom) 'If you and Derek have sex, you'll be the first one'
'in our group to lose her virginity.'
Derek is leaving tomorrow. So are you gonna do it?
Keesha, it's not "doing it." It's making love.
(Ashley over intercom) 'And, yes, I think we're gonna do it tonight.'
[both screaming]
[instrumental music]
Oh, my God. What are we gonna do?
This is what we're gonna do, we're gonna stop listening.
You're right. Enough listening, time for action.
She needs de-programming. We'll make her watch movies.
Lots of movies. Doris Day movies.
Now, there's a good wholesome role model.
♪ Que sera sera ♪
♪ Whatever will be will be ♪♪
Wait a minute. "Whatever will be, will be?"
What kind of devil-may-care message is that?
- The slut. - Okay, Carlton. Carlton.
Look, you need to calm down, alright?
Look, we need to find a Yellow Pages. I'm calling a nunnery.
It's late, so I'll need a 24-hour one.
Carlton, man, we ain't even Catholic.
Oh! Would you have an open mind?
Carlton, are you listening to yourself?
I don't have time for that.
I know, we'll do the good-cop, bad-cop thing.
I mean, I'm her brother, so it's only appropriate
that I play the bad cop.
- No, Carlton. - Okay, you big baby.
You can be the bad cop.
- Let's move. - Carlton.
Carlton.
[grunts]
What is.. What is wrong with you?
- Would you unhand me? - What are you gonna do?
You gonna go upstairs and make a fool out of yourself?
If need be. Someone has to stop the insanity.
This is all your fault.
"Ashley could never say no to you."
I told you I didn't like the cut of his jib.
Now, are you gonna be the bad cop or not?
- Look, Carlton-- - Oh!
Come here. Now, listen, ain't nobody gonna be no cop
and ain't nobody going upstairs because we wasn't
suppose to hear what she said in the first place.
Need I remind you there are demons out there that go
by the name of sexually transmitted diseases
risk of pregnancy, improper use of a condom?
And you'd have us do nothing?
Listen, I didn't say we ain't gonna do nothing, alright?
Well, then what do you propose we do?
Well, you'll know as soon as I can figure out..
[screams]
- How y'all doing? - Hi.
- Is Derek here yet? - Oh.
- He ain't coming. - What?
Yeah, it was, it was, um
a big accident, you know, out-out on the 605.
Yeah, a jackknifed big rig
you know, spilled out a big load of, uh..
Jackknives.
- Hey, everybody, what's up? - Hey! What's happening?
Thank God you're alive.
- We're gonna take off, okay? - Okay.
- Have fun. - See you, guys. Bye.
I'm gonna go get a sweater. I'll be right back down.
Alright, yeah, Ashley, that's a good idea.
Go get a sweater. You know, to..
- So, Derek, what's up, man? - What's up, man?
Hey, you think me and Carlton can
have a word with you for a second here?
What's going on?
We're asking the questions here, pally.
So, Derek, you know about football?
- Yeah. - Yeah, you do?
Or, yeah, you don't?
Are you familiar with the term "offsides?"
Oh, yeah. That's when somebody crosses the line too soon.
- Exactly. - Exactly.
So I can see you know what I'm talking about here then, bro.
No.
No, you do?
Or, no, you don't?
Carlton.
Let's put it this way.
You're rounding third base and you're headed for home.
You're excited because you think you're about to score easy.
But here's the problem.
You're in a visitor's ballpark
and if you do score
the angry fans might not be able to be held responsible
for their actions.
And it's bat night.
Alright, are you two in trouble with a bookie or something?
For Pete's sake, let's stop beating around the bush.
Hey, man.
You're playing chess, your rook has been blindsided
by the queen's gambit.
You can play honorably, leave your bishop at home
but protect your queen's virtue or you can take the sleazy road
and castle your king and go right for the mate.
And it's bat night.
Do I make myself clear?
- Ready to go, Derek? - Oh, hey! What's up?
We were just saying hi.
- Definitely. Let's go. - Okay.
Oh, Carlton? Why don't you, uh, take Derek outside
see if his lights and his horns and stuff is working on the car?
I'm gonna talk to Ashley.
My lights? Wha..
Will, that's enough. Now, what's going on?
What's going on? That's a very intelligent question, Ashley.
"What's Going On?" That's a Marvin Gaye song too.
Goodnight, Will.
Ashley, no!
[sobbing] Ashley, don't do it.
Do what?
Me and Carlton were roaming on this stupid intercom
and we roamed right into your conversation
and we-we heard what you said about you and Derek.
You were spying on me?
Ashley, no-now spying, that's such an ugly word.
We-we were roaming.
I can't believe you guys invaded
my privacy like that.
Oh, but-but, but, Ashley--
First of all, how dare you
listen to my conversation?
Second of all, it is none of your business.
- None of my business? - Right.
This is my life. I decide what I do or don't do.
[sighs] You know, I would expect this from Carlton..
...but not you.
Uh..
[instrumental music]
Honey, you haven't said a word all the way up here.
- Did I do something? - Oh, no, no, no.
So, what's going on?
Carlton and Will listened to me and my friends
having a really private conversation.
- Oh, really? - Yeah.
They heard me saying some things
that I just didn't want them to hear.
- Like what? - Just some stuff.
Well, what kind of stuff?
Stuff about, um, me and you.
Oh, good stuff?
Yeah.
They heard me telling my friends that, um..
...that I wanted you to be my first.
Did you mean that?
You think you're ready?
Well, if you are.
- Are you? - Sure. Uh..
I guess.
Ashley, it sounds to me like you're not too sure.
Well...does it bother you that you're leaving tomorrow?
Well, yeah.
Does it bother you?
I think it does.
Would you rather not do this?
Well, I just never thought my first time would be
with someone who was leaving me.
What if we never see each other again?
Ash, we'll see each other again.
Then we really don't have to rush.
I'm sorry.
Baby, you don't have to apologize to me.
[sighs]
So, what do you wanna do now?
I don't know. Miniature golf?
Let's do it.
Golf.
[instrumental music]
- Ashley. - Back off, Will.
You telling me to back off, girl? Hold up.
Now, this is me.
We-we always used to be able to talk about anything.
Talk.
Well, you know, I just wanna say that I-I'm sorry
that we invaded your privacy.
- I can't believe you did that. - I-I know.
I said it was wrong.
It's just hard for me
to accept the fact that you're doing the..
You know, that you-you're gonna be..
...you know.
I mean, I know you're cute, you know, it's just that--
Will, let's just forget about it.
Well, no. No. I can't forget about it.
In my eyes, you still the little girl
that used to follow me around all the time.
Now you wearing dresses and got makeup and the whole nine.
It's-it's just it makes me uncomfortable
to know that you're having..
...a sex life.
Fine. Be uncomfortable.
[sighs]
[groans]
Look, Will..
...I didn't do anything.
I mean..
...I love Derek.
And I thought I was ready
but I'm not.
You know, for a minute, just for a minute
I forgot how smart you are.
I guess I kind of panicked a little bit.
Yeah. You remember the first time I asked you about sex?
You panicked then, too.
- I did not. - Yes, you did.
You said that you needed to have a license to have sex
and that I couldn't even take the test until I was 35.
That's true.
Well..
...I guess it's not the worst thing in the world
to have a cousin who cares too much.
Alright, come here.
(Carlton over intercom) 'That was so beautiful.'
[instrumental music]
[theme music]
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Yeah ♪♪