1
00:00:01,886 --> 00:00:04,762
[blender buzzing]

2
00:00:08,866 --> 00:00:11,792
- What the heck is that?
- It's a fiber shake.

3
00:00:11,813 --> 00:00:12,891
I've got an interview
tomorrow

4
00:00:12,911 --> 00:00:14,758
with an old Princeton chum
of dad's.

5
00:00:14,777 --> 00:00:16,744
I need to be strong.
I need to be alert.

6
00:00:16,764 --> 00:00:18,652
And I need to be regular.

7
00:00:20,848 --> 00:00:23,654
Ain't nothing in the world
gonna make you regular, man.

8
00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:25,831
- Good morning.
- Good morning.

9
00:00:25,852 --> 00:00:28,658
Oh, Geoffrey,
are my sandwiches ready yet?

10
00:00:28,677 --> 00:00:30,924
Philip, for God's sake,
we're going to SeaWorld.

11
00:00:31,643 --> 00:00:33,660
There's gonna be
food stands everywhere.

12
00:00:33,679 --> 00:00:34,798
Oh, yeah that may be true,
Aunt Viv but there ain't

13
00:00:34,818 --> 00:00:37,773
gonna be no food stand
in the Volvo.

14
00:00:37,794 --> 00:00:39,771
You know, you better let that
man eat and give him some food

15
00:00:39,791 --> 00:00:41,808
or he'll mess around and chew
one of your arms off in the car.

16
00:00:41,828 --> 00:00:43,676
You know?

17
00:00:44,784 --> 00:00:46,851
Carlton, I had a talk
with Frank Bradley

18
00:00:46,870 --> 00:00:48,617
this morning from Princeton, uh?

19
00:00:48,638 --> 00:00:49,737
You ready for your big interview
tomorrow?

20
00:00:49,756 --> 00:00:50,804
Am I ever.

21
00:00:50,824 --> 00:00:52,781
I've been enhancing
my resume all week.

22
00:00:52,802 --> 00:00:54,769
I applied for a job
at the Dole headquarters.

23
00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:56,676
And yesterday,
I went down to the rec
center

24
00:00:56,697 --> 00:00:58,754
to become a Big Brother.

25
00:00:58,773 --> 00:01:00,590
Now, why you go and do that?

26
00:01:00,611 --> 00:01:02,668
You certainly ain't big,
and as far as being a brother..

27
00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:04,615
[yelling]

28
00:01:06,592 --> 00:01:08,639
Well, I've already planned
what I'm gonna wear.

29
00:01:08,658 --> 00:01:10,745
I've got my argyles,
my wide-wale cords

30
00:01:10,765 --> 00:01:11,773
and my lucky sweater.

31
00:01:11,793 --> 00:01:12,862
[laughing]

32
00:01:13,582 --> 00:01:15,589
Master Carlton,
about your sweater

33
00:01:15,608 --> 00:01:17,655
we've had a dryer mishap.

34
00:01:19,773 --> 00:01:21,730
[screaming]

35
00:01:24,586 --> 00:01:26,613
Don't worry, Carlton,
it'll shrink.

36
00:01:29,627 --> 00:01:31,674
Well, hey,
it's just a small setback.

37
00:01:31,695 --> 00:01:34,581
I still have
the canary-yellow one.

38
00:01:34,601 --> 00:01:36,798
I forgive you, Geoffrey.

39
00:01:36,817 --> 00:01:39,633
[phone ringing]

40
00:01:39,653 --> 00:01:42,609
Banks residence.
Oh, yes, certainly.

41
00:01:42,628 --> 00:01:45,554
- For you, Master Carlton.
- Oh, thank you.

42
00:01:45,574 --> 00:01:47,541
Hello?

43
00:01:47,561 --> 00:01:48,589
Yes.

44
00:01:48,610 --> 00:01:49,798
It's the rec center.

45
00:01:51,804 --> 00:01:53,542
Uh-huh.

46
00:01:53,562 --> 00:01:55,589
Alright.

47
00:01:55,609 --> 00:01:57,536
What?

48
00:01:57,556 --> 00:01:59,663
I can't be a Big Brother?

49
00:01:59,684 --> 00:02:01,581
They didn't like me?

50
00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:04,606
Well, you tell those little
brats I don't like them either.

51
00:02:05,589 --> 00:02:06,834
[theme song]

52
00:02:06,854 --> 00:02:08,706
♪ Now this is a story ♪

53
00:02:08,726 --> 00:02:09,880
♪ All about how my life ♪

54
00:02:10,609 --> 00:02:11,794
♪ Got flipped turned
upside down ♪

55
00:02:11,813 --> 00:02:13,918
♪ And I'd like to take a minute
just sit right there ♪

56
00:02:14,658 --> 00:02:15,893
♪ I'll tell you how I became
the prince of a town ♪

57
00:02:15,913 --> 00:02:17,796
♪ Called Bel-Air ♪

58
00:02:26,084 --> 00:02:28,928
♪ In west Philadelphia,
born and raised ♪

59
00:02:28,950 --> 00:02:31,885
♪ On the playground is where
I spent most of my days ♪

60
00:02:31,904 --> 00:02:33,908
♪ Chillin' out maxin'
relaxin' all cool ♪

61
00:02:33,929 --> 00:02:36,074
♪ And all shootin' some b-ball
outside of the school ♪

62
00:02:36,096 --> 00:02:39,031
♪ When a couple of guys
who were up to no good ♪

63
00:02:39,050 --> 00:02:41,014
♪ Started makin' trouble
in my neighborhood ♪

64
00:02:41,035 --> 00:02:43,171
♪ I got in one little fight
and my mom got scared ♪

65
00:02:43,190 --> 00:02:44,293
♪ And said, you're moving
with your auntie ♪

66
00:02:45,023 --> 00:02:46,126
♪ And uncle in Bel-Air ♪

67
00:02:46,146 --> 00:02:48,110
♪ I whistled for a cab
and when it came near ♪

68
00:02:48,129 --> 00:02:49,212
♪ The license plate said Fresh ♪

69
00:02:49,233 --> 00:02:51,135
♪ And it had dice
in the mirror ♪

70
00:02:51,157 --> 00:02:53,161
♪ If anything I can say that
this cab was rare ♪

71
00:02:53,181 --> 00:02:57,199
♪ But I thought nah forget it
yo homes to Bel-Air ♪

72
00:02:57,220 --> 00:03:00,256
♪ I pulled up to a house
about seven or eight ♪

73
00:03:00,275 --> 00:03:02,472
♪ And I yelled to the cabbie
yo homes smell you later ♪

74
00:03:02,492 --> 00:03:05,306
♪ I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there ♪

75
00:03:05,327 --> 00:03:08,394
♪ To sit on my throne
as the prince of Bel-Air ♪

76
00:03:21,633 --> 00:03:23,530
Will, this sweater will work

77
00:03:23,549 --> 00:03:24,763
for my interview tomorrow,
right?

78
00:03:25,486 --> 00:03:28,506
Uh, that depends, are you
going as Archie or Jug head?

79
00:03:29,662 --> 00:03:32,632
[phone ringing]

80
00:03:32,652 --> 00:03:34,760
Hello?

81
00:03:34,780 --> 00:03:36,606
Dole headquarters?

82
00:03:36,626 --> 00:03:38,764
No, man,
we don't want no pineapples.

83
00:03:38,783 --> 00:03:40,820
Give me that.

84
00:03:41,543 --> 00:03:43,821
Carlton Banks here.

85
00:03:44,544 --> 00:03:45,598
Huh?

86
00:03:45,617 --> 00:03:47,795
What do you mean
I didn't get the job?

87
00:03:47,815 --> 00:03:49,802
What budget problems?

88
00:03:49,822 --> 00:03:52,763
But I was volunteering. Hello?

89
00:03:52,784 --> 00:03:54,731
Oh, hey, hey, Carlton. Carlton.

90
00:03:54,751 --> 00:03:57,761
Hey, hey, it's cool. Relax, man.
Everything's gonna be alright.

91
00:03:57,780 --> 00:03:59,647
Hey, look here.

92
00:03:59,667 --> 00:04:01,755
National Geographic, huh?

93
00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:03,862
Special issue.
"The ladies of the Sudan."

94
00:04:03,883 --> 00:04:06,783
You know what I'm saying,
huh?

95
00:04:06,804 --> 00:04:08,881
How much more bad luck
can I have?

96
00:04:08,901 --> 00:04:10,838
I mean, face it, Will.

97
00:04:10,857 --> 00:04:13,737
Princeton will never accept me.

98
00:04:13,758 --> 00:04:15,675
I've got nothing to offer.

99
00:04:15,694 --> 00:04:16,828
Hey, hey, Carlton. Hold on.
Now, hold on.

100
00:04:16,848 --> 00:04:18,755
You stop that. Now, come on.

101
00:04:18,776 --> 00:04:20,944
You got plenty to offer,
man.
What are you talking about?

102
00:04:20,964 --> 00:04:22,961
You-you got, you got the..

103
00:04:24,868 --> 00:04:26,835
See what I'm saying?
I'm saying from-from before

104
00:04:26,855 --> 00:04:28,852
you-you still got,
you still got..

105
00:04:31,833 --> 00:04:33,789
- Give me a hand here.
- Ugh.

106
00:04:33,810 --> 00:04:35,004
Uh, Carlton, Carlton.
Alright, alright.

107
00:04:35,726 --> 00:04:37,001
Hey, hey, look, look,
I just saw it in here.

108
00:04:37,021 --> 00:04:39,861
You got your grade card.

109
00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:41,004
Yeah.

110
00:04:41,024 --> 00:04:42,931
- Princeton is about academics.
- Yes, sir.

111
00:04:42,951 --> 00:04:46,945
- And I am second to none.
- Ha! You got that right.

112
00:04:46,965 --> 00:04:48,993
Mama, no!

113
00:04:50,007 --> 00:04:53,058
[instrumental music]

114
00:04:57,834 --> 00:04:58,938
Eh, hey, what's up, G?

115
00:04:58,958 --> 00:05:00,955
Another Village People reunion?

116
00:05:02,873 --> 00:05:04,920
As it is my weekend off,
I've decided

117
00:05:04,940 --> 00:05:07,128
to head for
the Circle M Dude Ranch.

118
00:05:07,850 --> 00:05:09,104
There's nothing like
the feel of an animal

119
00:05:09,124 --> 00:05:12,024
beneath you
to recharge your battery.

120
00:05:12,044 --> 00:05:14,022
[laughing]

121
00:05:14,043 --> 00:05:17,063
I know what you're talking about
there, G.

122
00:05:17,082 --> 00:05:20,113
No, I'm afraid you don't,
Master William.

123
00:05:20,134 --> 00:05:22,131
But I do find it
rather endearing

124
00:05:22,150 --> 00:05:24,178
when you think you do.

125
00:05:24,901 --> 00:05:26,065
Have a nice weekend.

126
00:05:27,149 --> 00:05:30,110
Oh, have fun at
theDude ranch.

127
00:05:32,990 --> 00:05:34,114
Oh! Hey, Ashley? What's up?

128
00:05:34,133 --> 00:05:35,979
That's right, 8 o'clock.

129
00:05:35,999 --> 00:05:39,014
Sure, bring whoever you want.
Music? Are you kidding?

130
00:05:39,034 --> 00:05:41,170
Of course, there's gonna be
wall-to-wall music.

131
00:05:41,189 --> 00:05:43,106
Whoa, hey, hey, hey.

132
00:05:43,125 --> 00:05:45,062
What do you think
you're doing, young lady?

133
00:05:45,083 --> 00:05:48,077
My parents are away,
I have the house to myself.

134
00:05:48,096 --> 00:05:52,018
- I'm having a party, duh.
- You..

135
00:05:52,038 --> 00:05:55,132
The whole world's
having a party.

136
00:05:57,938 --> 00:06:00,083
[instrumental music]

137
00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:04,974
Hey. What's up, C?

138
00:06:04,994 --> 00:06:07,030
Oh, dear mother of God.

139
00:06:08,028 --> 00:06:10,863
This can't continue.

140
00:06:10,881 --> 00:06:12,997
What's wrong, man?

141
00:06:13,018 --> 00:06:14,855
Would you look?

142
00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:17,099
Red, yellow, brown, green.

143
00:06:17,119 --> 00:06:20,044
That's the way
I understood it to be.

144
00:06:20,065 --> 00:06:22,889
But now, blue.

145
00:06:25,982 --> 00:06:28,038
Has the world gone mad?

146
00:06:30,903 --> 00:06:32,869
They're just M and M, C.

147
00:06:34,965 --> 00:06:37,061
[instrumental music]

148
00:06:40,953 --> 00:06:43,867
[humming]

149
00:06:45,884 --> 00:06:47,970
♪ The blues ♪♪

150
00:06:52,951 --> 00:06:54,967
Okay, that's enough of that.
Come on, man.

151
00:06:54,986 --> 00:06:57,022
Now let's see that big
Carlton Banks smile, man.

152
00:06:57,042 --> 00:06:58,030
Come on.

153
00:06:58,050 --> 00:06:59,886
Will, I wanna be alone.

154
00:06:59,906 --> 00:07:02,022
Hey, come on, I told Uncle Phil
I was gonna look out for you.

155
00:07:02,042 --> 00:07:03,818
Hey, come on,
gotta get it together.

156
00:07:03,838 --> 00:07:04,916
You got that big Princeton
interview tomorrow.

157
00:07:04,937 --> 00:07:06,814
[knocking on door]

158
00:07:06,833 --> 00:07:08,948
Oh, whoever it is,
tell them to go away.

159
00:07:08,969 --> 00:07:13,002
[chuckling]
Aaah. Not so fast, man.
I got a little surprise for you.

160
00:07:13,021 --> 00:07:16,015
Now, nothing makes a brother
who's feeling down feel better

161
00:07:16,734 --> 00:07:19,728
than seeing somebody
who's in worse shape.

162
00:07:19,747 --> 00:07:20,995
Huh?

163
00:07:21,016 --> 00:07:23,950
I called up Stinky McGuire.

164
00:07:23,970 --> 00:07:27,942
Yeah? Stinky's here?

165
00:07:27,962 --> 00:07:30,817
Well, I haven't seen him
since high school.

166
00:07:30,836 --> 00:07:32,912
Seeing him would cheer me up.

167
00:07:32,933 --> 00:07:34,829
I mean, he was always
such a loser.

168
00:07:34,848 --> 00:07:36,874
And he was even shorter than me.

169
00:07:36,894 --> 00:07:38,910
- Well, bring him in.
- Alright.

170
00:07:41,806 --> 00:07:43,822
Hey-hey, Carlton.

171
00:07:44,899 --> 00:07:47,724
[screaming]

172
00:07:49,710 --> 00:07:51,756
[honking]

173
00:07:52,914 --> 00:07:55,878
Party, dude.
Come on, man. Come on.

174
00:07:55,898 --> 00:07:57,934
Oh, we gonna have some fun, man.

175
00:07:58,653 --> 00:07:59,791
We gonna get some strippers
or something.

176
00:07:59,809 --> 00:08:01,846
And we gonna have a ball.
Come on, come on.

177
00:08:05,648 --> 00:08:08,782
Will, I'm not in the mood
for this.

178
00:08:10,778 --> 00:08:12,684
Oh.

179
00:08:12,704 --> 00:08:14,740
You not in the mood
for this, huh?

180
00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:16,617
Well, look here, too short..

181
00:08:17,804 --> 00:08:19,831
...if you wanna
sit around and wallow

182
00:08:19,851 --> 00:08:21,878
in the stench
of your own self-pity

183
00:08:22,606 --> 00:08:23,754
then you go right ahead.

184
00:08:23,774 --> 00:08:26,758
- Will, you don't understand.
- Oh, no, I understand.

185
00:08:26,778 --> 00:08:27,866
You big baby.

186
00:08:27,886 --> 00:08:30,720
[mimicking crying baby]

187
00:08:30,739 --> 00:08:34,722
My sweater shrunk.
My grades are low.

188
00:08:34,741 --> 00:08:37,716
My head is too small
for my body.

189
00:08:38,834 --> 00:08:40,780
It is?

190
00:08:40,801 --> 00:08:42,797
(Will)
'Oh, shut up, Carlton.'

191
00:08:42,817 --> 00:08:44,743
Now, I'm gonna tell you
something.

192
00:08:44,763 --> 00:08:46,699
I am not gonna sit around here

193
00:08:46,718 --> 00:08:49,573
with your stank-robe-wearing

194
00:08:49,593 --> 00:08:50,720
slipper-shuffling

195
00:08:50,741 --> 00:08:52,578
resume-polishing

196
00:08:52,597 --> 00:08:54,763
little-kids-don't-like-me blues.

197
00:08:54,783 --> 00:08:56,790
Now, I'm about to go out
and I'm gonna get me

198
00:08:56,809 --> 00:08:59,643
a 16-piece nugget dinner.

199
00:08:59,663 --> 00:09:02,637
And when I get back, I wanna see
a new attitude, mister.

200
00:09:04,634 --> 00:09:07,619
And for God's sakes,
clean yourself up.

201
00:09:09,664 --> 00:09:11,670
[instrumental music]

202
00:09:11,690 --> 00:09:14,634
[laughs]
Hey. Yo, Ash,
the cops are outside.

203
00:09:14,654 --> 00:09:15,712
- What?
- No, no, I was just kidding.

204
00:09:15,733 --> 00:09:17,599
I'm playing, I'm playing.

205
00:09:17,619 --> 00:09:18,647
Will, what are you doing?

206
00:09:18,666 --> 00:09:20,494
I gotta get a little
barbecue sauce.

207
00:09:20,514 --> 00:09:21,592
Dude tried to play me
down there.

208
00:09:21,613 --> 00:09:22,692
You know, they give you
the same amount

209
00:09:22,712 --> 00:09:24,639
whether you get six or 16.

210
00:09:26,587 --> 00:09:29,493
- Who is this?
- Oh, this is my cousin, Will.

211
00:09:29,512 --> 00:09:30,521
- Hi.
- Oh, hey, hey.

212
00:09:30,541 --> 00:09:31,649
Rrrrh! Watch it, girl.

213
00:09:31,670 --> 00:09:33,478
Ah-ah.

214
00:09:33,497 --> 00:09:35,474
You can look,
but don't touch, baby.

215
00:09:35,494 --> 00:09:36,713
Will, get your sauce and nuggets
and get out.

216
00:09:36,733 --> 00:09:39,609
Alright, alright.

217
00:09:39,629 --> 00:09:41,716
Hey, hey, hey, look.

218
00:09:41,736 --> 00:09:43,574
Make sure you stay
friends with that

219
00:09:43,594 --> 00:09:45,571
one in the pink over there,
you know what I mean?

220
00:09:45,591 --> 00:09:47,659
Couple more years of seasoning,
you know

221
00:09:47,680 --> 00:09:50,466
put a little barbecue sauce
on her..

222
00:09:50,485 --> 00:09:51,574
...let her marinate,
you know what I mean?

223
00:09:51,594 --> 00:09:54,470
Oh, get out.
Get out right now, Will.

224
00:09:54,490 --> 00:09:55,728
Ashley.

225
00:09:58,475 --> 00:09:59,653
[phone ringing]

226
00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:03,608
Hello?

227
00:10:03,629 --> 00:10:05,507
Hey. Uh, yeah, yes, sir.

228
00:10:05,527 --> 00:10:06,615
Hold-hold on one second.

229
00:10:06,635 --> 00:10:09,462
Carlton.

230
00:10:09,481 --> 00:10:12,627
Carlton!

231
00:10:12,648 --> 00:10:14,545
I-I, I'm sorry, can I,
can I take a message?

232
00:10:14,564 --> 00:10:16,701
I'll have him call you
right back.

233
00:10:17,421 --> 00:10:19,678
Oh. Oh, yes, yes sir.
Absolutely.

234
00:10:19,697 --> 00:10:21,575
Alright.

235
00:10:21,595 --> 00:10:24,561
Carlton, dude from Princeton
called. He had an emergency.

236
00:10:24,581 --> 00:10:26,658
He has to do
the interview tonight.

237
00:10:28,607 --> 00:10:30,624
Carlton!

238
00:10:30,644 --> 00:10:32,492
Where the hell are you at?

239
00:10:34,678 --> 00:10:36,656
(Carlton)
"Dear Will, you were right.

240
00:10:36,676 --> 00:10:38,483
"I shouldn't be burdening
the family

241
00:10:38,504 --> 00:10:40,522
"with my low-down, whiny-mouth,
sniveling

242
00:10:40,541 --> 00:10:43,627
"M and M-eating,
feel-sorry-for-myself blues.

243
00:10:45,485 --> 00:10:47,623
"P.S.

244
00:10:47,641 --> 00:10:50,558
My head is too small
for my body."

245
00:10:53,465 --> 00:10:56,471
[guitar music]

246
00:11:03,531 --> 00:11:07,366
♪ Nobody loves me
but my mother ♪

247
00:11:09,554 --> 00:11:12,351
♪ And she could be jivin' too ♪

248
00:11:15,537 --> 00:11:19,382
♪ Now you know why
I act funny with you baby ♪

249
00:11:19,401 --> 00:11:23,366
♪ When you do the things
you do ♪♪

250
00:11:29,429 --> 00:11:31,466
I'm home.

251
00:11:36,479 --> 00:11:38,596
[upbeat music]

252
00:11:39,316 --> 00:11:40,455
[indistinct chatter]

253
00:11:40,473 --> 00:11:43,350
Ashley, Kyle has been here
for half an hour.

254
00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:44,488
Are you gonna meet him or not?

255
00:11:44,509 --> 00:11:46,557
Yeah. No.

256
00:11:46,576 --> 00:11:48,403
Wait.

257
00:11:48,424 --> 00:11:50,482
I thought this was
the whole point of this party.

258
00:11:50,502 --> 00:11:53,338
Yeah, it is.
Just give me a second.

259
00:11:53,357 --> 00:11:55,544
Okay. Like, one one-thousand.

260
00:11:55,564 --> 00:11:58,360
- Kyle, come here.
- What are you doing?

261
00:11:59,500 --> 00:12:01,340
What's up, Kee?

262
00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:03,451
Ashley, this is Kyle.

263
00:12:03,470 --> 00:12:05,320
Kyle, this is Ashley.

264
00:12:05,340 --> 00:12:07,451
She's been dying to meet
you.

265
00:12:09,551 --> 00:12:11,542
I've heard a lot about you,
Ashley.

266
00:12:11,562 --> 00:12:13,582
Great party. This is nice.

267
00:12:14,303 --> 00:12:16,303
- Really? You think so?
- Mm-hm.

268
00:12:16,323 --> 00:12:18,434
Well, I have parties
all the time.

269
00:12:18,454 --> 00:12:20,314
- Really?
- Yeah.

270
00:12:20,334 --> 00:12:23,505
- And your parents don't mind?
- Mind? Ha!

271
00:12:23,526 --> 00:12:25,396
They practically write out
the guest list.

272
00:12:25,416 --> 00:12:28,387
Wow, I wish my parents
were that cool.

273
00:12:29,417 --> 00:12:31,408
[Will whispering]
Ash.

274
00:12:32,577 --> 00:12:35,488
[gibbering]

275
00:12:35,509 --> 00:12:37,399
Ash.

276
00:12:38,568 --> 00:12:41,509
I think that guy is calling you.

277
00:12:41,530 --> 00:12:43,461
Don't worry, he's part
of the cleaning crew.

278
00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:45,550
Oh.

279
00:12:45,570 --> 00:12:47,441
Ash.

280
00:12:49,382 --> 00:12:51,583
[mimics chimp]

281
00:12:52,303 --> 00:12:55,433
You know, it's so hard
to find good help. Excuse me.

282
00:12:57,374 --> 00:12:59,564
- What do you want?
- Ashley, Carlton ran away.

283
00:12:59,583 --> 00:13:01,574
- Great.
- Wait, hey, hey, hey.

284
00:13:01,594 --> 00:13:03,424
Come on, I'm being serious.

285
00:13:03,444 --> 00:13:05,425
Now, I-I've been calling around.
I don't know where he is.

286
00:13:05,445 --> 00:13:07,335
We gotta get in the car,
we gotta go find him.

287
00:13:07,355 --> 00:13:08,586
No, Will, I'm having a party.

288
00:13:09,307 --> 00:13:10,477
I'm carefree, understand?

289
00:13:10,497 --> 00:13:12,528
Free of cares?

290
00:13:12,548 --> 00:13:14,318
Quick. How's my hair?
How are my lips?

291
00:13:14,337 --> 00:13:16,428
Do I look okay?

292
00:13:16,448 --> 00:13:18,408
You look beautiful, Ashley.

293
00:13:18,429 --> 00:13:20,390
Thanks. Now get out.

294
00:13:23,319 --> 00:13:24,359
"How's my hair? How's my face?

295
00:13:24,380 --> 00:13:26,341
How's my stuff
and my other stuff?"

296
00:13:27,431 --> 00:13:30,342
[phone ringing]

297
00:13:30,361 --> 00:13:32,381
Hello.

298
00:13:32,402 --> 00:13:34,473
Ugh, yeah, yeah, thanks a lot.

299
00:13:34,492 --> 00:13:36,432
Yeah, I'll be right down
to pick him up.

300
00:13:37,544 --> 00:13:40,554
[guitar music]

301
00:13:44,425 --> 00:13:45,446
Hey, how are you doing?
somebody called me about

302
00:13:45,465 --> 00:13:46,605
picking up my cousin Carlton?

303
00:13:47,325 --> 00:13:50,546
Yeah, we get a runaway
yuppie
down here every week.

304
00:13:50,567 --> 00:13:53,558
He's over there at the bar
throwing back ginger ales.

305
00:13:55,518 --> 00:13:58,419
Eddie,
it ain't gonna fill itself up.

306
00:14:00,429 --> 00:14:03,410
Carlton. What are you doing?

307
00:14:03,430 --> 00:14:05,590
- Will, how'd you find me?
- Never mind. We're going home.

308
00:14:05,609 --> 00:14:07,370
Come on..

309
00:14:08,380 --> 00:14:09,420
Hey, Carlton. Alright, look.

310
00:14:09,441 --> 00:14:11,392
The alumni guy
from Princeton called.

311
00:14:11,412 --> 00:14:13,362
He's coming tonight.

312
00:14:13,381 --> 00:14:14,542
I can't do it, Will.

313
00:14:14,563 --> 00:14:17,473
I just can't handle
another disappointment.

314
00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:20,354
This is where I belong.

315
00:14:20,373 --> 00:14:22,423
- Ain't that right, Tiny?
- Shut up.

316
00:14:24,425 --> 00:14:26,575
Yeah, we're brothers
of a tortured soul.

317
00:14:26,594 --> 00:14:29,405
We support each other.

318
00:14:29,426 --> 00:14:30,586
Take Sach over there.

319
00:14:34,397 --> 00:14:36,328
Better yet, take Pappy.

320
00:14:38,337 --> 00:14:40,458
Well, he's been telling me
about riding the rails.

321
00:14:40,478 --> 00:14:42,458
You hear that, Will?
Riding the rails.

322
00:14:42,478 --> 00:14:44,389
I mean, I don't have a clue
what he's talking about

323
00:14:44,410 --> 00:14:47,360
but darn if he doesn't make it
sound exciting.

324
00:14:48,451 --> 00:14:51,561
Okay, I want you to get
into the car, okay?

325
00:14:51,581 --> 00:14:54,392
Will, you couldn't possibly
understand.

326
00:14:54,412 --> 00:14:55,422
I mean, how could you?

327
00:14:55,442 --> 00:14:56,513
You've got everything.

328
00:14:56,533 --> 00:14:58,423
Hey, you have the job,
you have the girls

329
00:14:58,443 --> 00:15:00,444
and damn it,
you've got the height.

330
00:15:02,463 --> 00:15:04,404
And you don't know the blues.

331
00:15:04,425 --> 00:15:05,565
How could you?

332
00:15:07,455 --> 00:15:09,496
Oh! Oh, I don't know the blues.

333
00:15:09,515 --> 00:15:10,595
- Huh?
- That's right.

334
00:15:10,615 --> 00:15:13,446
Oh, yeah, like, everything's
been perfect for me.

335
00:15:13,466 --> 00:15:15,376
You know, like growing up
in the projects.

336
00:15:15,396 --> 00:15:18,357
♪ Growing up in the projects ♪

337
00:15:19,467 --> 00:15:21,398
You know,
and never having any money.

338
00:15:21,419 --> 00:15:24,599
♪ And never had a dime ♪

339
00:15:24,618 --> 00:15:26,459
N-never knowing whether
or not my father

340
00:15:26,479 --> 00:15:27,589
was even gonna come home.

341
00:15:27,609 --> 00:15:30,600
♪ He left and he
ain't come back yet ♪

342
00:15:33,572 --> 00:15:37,523
Um, excuse me, Pappy,
why don't you take a nappy?

343
00:15:39,433 --> 00:15:41,564
[high-pitch guitar tone]

344
00:15:44,483 --> 00:15:46,454
Listen,
I am not about to stand here

345
00:15:46,474 --> 00:15:48,474
and argue with you
about who has it worse.

346
00:15:48,494 --> 00:15:49,594
Because the fact
of the matter is

347
00:15:49,614 --> 00:15:51,505
neither one of us
has it that bad.

348
00:15:51,525 --> 00:15:54,416
But this is your last chance
to get into Princeton.

349
00:15:54,437 --> 00:15:55,597
If you wanna blow that,
you know what?

350
00:15:55,616 --> 00:15:57,606
You go right ahead.

351
00:15:57,626 --> 00:16:00,517
[guitar music]

352
00:16:00,538 --> 00:16:03,589
[upbeat music]

353
00:16:09,629 --> 00:16:10,630
Hey, what were you guys doing?

354
00:16:11,351 --> 00:16:12,481
No one's allowed
in the bedrooms.

355
00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:14,614
Hey, relax, Ash. We're just
taking a little tour.

356
00:16:14,634 --> 00:16:16,588
[laughing]

357
00:16:18,412 --> 00:16:19,565
Oh, hey, hey, hey.
Where you going?

358
00:16:19,586 --> 00:16:21,550
I gotta get up tomorrow
and go to practice.

359
00:16:21,570 --> 00:16:23,384
But the party was great.

360
00:16:23,403 --> 00:16:25,437
- Thanks, I had fun.
- Oh, you had a good time? Good.

361
00:16:25,458 --> 00:16:26,660
- I had a real good time.
- Cool.

362
00:16:27,382 --> 00:16:29,466
Okay. Excuse me.

363
00:16:29,486 --> 00:16:31,400
Ugh.

364
00:16:31,419 --> 00:16:33,533
- Um, maybe I'll see you again?
- Yeah, we should hook up.

365
00:16:33,554 --> 00:16:37,422
Oh, wait a minute, um,
I don't have your number.

366
00:16:37,442 --> 00:16:38,634
Yeah.

367
00:16:43,454 --> 00:16:45,598
We're gonna have to get you
some school supplies.

368
00:16:45,619 --> 00:16:47,664
- Bye, Ashley. Alright.
- Bye.

369
00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:52,604
Oh, no, no, no.
Not in this house.

370
00:16:52,624 --> 00:16:55,440
Oh, get out.

371
00:16:56,532 --> 00:16:58,516
And what do you think
you're doing?

372
00:16:58,536 --> 00:16:59,689
I'm just having a smoke.

373
00:16:59,708 --> 00:17:02,624
Not here you're not, idiot.

374
00:17:02,645 --> 00:17:05,551
Could somebody turn down
the music?

375
00:17:08,627 --> 00:17:10,761
Carlton, I really appreciate
your willingness

376
00:17:11,482 --> 00:17:12,664
to change your schedule.

377
00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:18,537
Well, changing is one of my
strong suits, Mr. Bradley.

378
00:17:24,759 --> 00:17:26,754
And as you know,
your father and I

379
00:17:26,774 --> 00:17:28,708
were classmates at Princeton.

380
00:17:28,729 --> 00:17:31,645
He was quite the big man
on campus.

381
00:17:31,665 --> 00:17:33,619
He's even bigger now. Ha-ha-ha.

382
00:17:33,638 --> 00:17:36,774
- Yeah, well, aren't we all?
- Oh! Ha-ha-ha.

383
00:17:36,794 --> 00:17:39,770
I was very impressed
with your application.

384
00:17:39,791 --> 00:17:41,815
Particularly cogent
was your essay

385
00:17:42,537 --> 00:17:44,581
on the fall of Eastern Europe.

386
00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:46,625
Mm, well, if you like
Eastern Europe in the fall

387
00:17:46,645 --> 00:17:48,749
you should see it in the spring,
it's beautiful.

388
00:17:48,770 --> 00:17:51,616
Oh, you. Ha-ha-ha.

389
00:17:51,635 --> 00:17:52,717
[both laughing]

390
00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:55,654
Oh, you've got a
good sense of humor.

391
00:17:55,673 --> 00:17:57,858
Obviously,
you got that from your dad.

392
00:17:58,579 --> 00:17:59,662
Oh, y-you know my dad?

393
00:17:59,682 --> 00:18:00,774
Well, yes, didn't I..

394
00:18:00,795 --> 00:18:02,679
...didn't I just mention
that a moment ago?

395
00:18:02,698 --> 00:18:05,754
Ah! Oh, yeah.
Of course, of course.

396
00:18:05,775 --> 00:18:08,761
- A big man on campus.
- Right. Right. Ah.

397
00:18:08,781 --> 00:18:12,850
I, I see here that you've worked
for a lot of charities.

398
00:18:12,869 --> 00:18:15,725
Which one meant the most to you?

399
00:18:15,746 --> 00:18:19,714
Um, the second one.

400
00:18:19,733 --> 00:18:22,639
But this has all been about me,
Mr. Bradley. Me, me, me.

401
00:18:22,659 --> 00:18:24,673
Look, Frank,
is there a Mrs. Bradley?

402
00:18:24,693 --> 00:18:26,878
A couple of baby Bradleys?
Hey, have you seen "Braveheart?"

403
00:18:28,813 --> 00:18:31,839
Look, friend,
we can talk about candy all day

404
00:18:31,859 --> 00:18:33,703
but you ain't gonna convince me

405
00:18:33,722 --> 00:18:35,776
that blue was a bad way to go.

406
00:18:36,900 --> 00:18:38,784
By the way..

407
00:18:38,804 --> 00:18:39,836
...I hear that whistle blowing.

408
00:18:39,856 --> 00:18:41,780
I got a train to catch.

409
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:45,738
- Well, let's go.
- Hey, hold on there, Sparky.

410
00:18:45,757 --> 00:18:47,901
Before you catch any train,
how about you telling me

411
00:18:47,922 --> 00:18:50,848
what you're running away from?

412
00:18:50,869 --> 00:18:52,793
Okay.

413
00:18:52,813 --> 00:18:54,696
But this won't be pretty.

414
00:18:55,718 --> 00:18:56,890
I must say, I was riveted

415
00:18:56,911 --> 00:18:59,757
by your thesis
on regressive taxation.

416
00:18:59,776 --> 00:19:01,830
How did you arrive at such a..

417
00:19:01,851 --> 00:19:04,707
...scintillating hypothesis?

418
00:19:08,775 --> 00:19:12,783
But I guess,
the signs were always there.

419
00:19:12,803 --> 00:19:15,889
Oh, sure these chiseled good
looks and striking
personality

420
00:19:15,910 --> 00:19:17,854
opened the doors
of opportunity quickly

421
00:19:17,874 --> 00:19:21,752
but lately, they've been closing
even quicker.

422
00:19:21,771 --> 00:19:22,964
Oh, heck, who am I kidding?

423
00:19:22,985 --> 00:19:26,843
Look at me,
I'm not Princeton material.

424
00:19:26,862 --> 00:19:28,966
Like the song says, Pappy

425
00:19:28,987 --> 00:19:30,921
"You gotta know
when to fold them."

426
00:19:31,933 --> 00:19:34,008
It's my time to fold.

427
00:19:34,027 --> 00:19:37,013
Sounds like, to me,
you're giving up.

428
00:19:37,033 --> 00:19:38,992
You're a smart man, Pappy.

429
00:19:40,792 --> 00:19:44,011
Listen, Carlton, it's one thing
to throw in the hand

430
00:19:44,031 --> 00:19:46,910
but it's another thing
to get up from the table

431
00:19:46,931 --> 00:19:48,980
and quit the game.

432
00:19:53,009 --> 00:19:54,949
You honestly believe

433
00:19:54,969 --> 00:19:58,767
that Superman could beat
the Flash in a foot race?

434
00:20:01,896 --> 00:20:04,016
Oh, Mr. Bradley,
I'm glad you're still here.

435
00:20:04,035 --> 00:20:06,904
- Carlton Banks.
- What?

436
00:20:06,925 --> 00:20:09,914
That's poppycock.
I'm Carlton Banks.

437
00:20:09,934 --> 00:20:12,053
No, Will,
your charade is not
necessary.

438
00:20:12,772 --> 00:20:15,981
Now, if you'll excuse us,
Mr. Bradley and I need to talk.

439
00:20:21,770 --> 00:20:23,799
I had a lot of these
legacies I interview

440
00:20:23,819 --> 00:20:25,798
they've, they've got the grades,
the resume

441
00:20:25,818 --> 00:20:27,768
but they're sheltered, you know?

442
00:20:27,788 --> 00:20:31,047
Like...that milquetoast cousin
of yours.

443
00:20:32,806 --> 00:20:35,855
But you really impressed me
tonight.

444
00:20:35,875 --> 00:20:39,004
I'd be happy to sign a letter
of recommendation for you.

445
00:20:39,024 --> 00:20:40,824
Thank you.

446
00:20:41,934 --> 00:20:42,964
Bye-bye.

447
00:20:46,032 --> 00:20:47,912
Will, thanks for covering
for me tonight.

448
00:20:47,933 --> 00:20:49,812
Oh, no, no problem, man,
I'm just glad

449
00:20:49,831 --> 00:20:50,961
you came back when you did,
you know.

450
00:20:50,982 --> 00:20:52,801
I'm starting to get
a little too comfortable

451
00:20:52,820 --> 00:20:54,870
in this stuff,
you know what I'm saying?

452
00:20:58,818 --> 00:21:00,858
[indistinct chatter at distance]

453
00:21:00,879 --> 00:21:02,788
Um..

454
00:21:02,807 --> 00:21:03,877
Carlton, hold up.

455
00:21:04,797 --> 00:21:06,786
[crickets chirping]

456
00:21:12,034 --> 00:21:13,824
Mom and dad leave for the night

457
00:21:13,844 --> 00:21:15,873
and you take advantage
like this?

458
00:21:15,894 --> 00:21:17,004
And what about you, mister?

459
00:21:17,023 --> 00:21:18,842
What kind of role model are you?

460
00:21:18,862 --> 00:21:20,762
If it weren't for me,
the two of you

461
00:21:20,782 --> 00:21:23,771
would have this family on the
way to hell in a handbasket.

462
00:21:23,791 --> 00:21:25,820
And another thing, what..?

463
00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:29,809
- He's back.
- He's back.

464
00:21:29,829 --> 00:21:32,818
What do you mean, I'm back?
Of course, I'm back.

465
00:21:41,956 --> 00:21:42,946
[chuckles]

466
00:21:42,966 --> 00:21:44,995
I'm home.

467
00:21:52,893 --> 00:21:54,872
[instrumental music]