1
00:00:02,466 --> 00:00:05,652
There. Finally, this family's
gonna start eating healthy.

2
00:00:06,374 --> 00:00:07,406
What do you think?

3
00:00:08,599 --> 00:00:12,597
I think it's too good
to be wasted on the hired help.

4
00:00:15,392 --> 00:00:16,434
Hey, hey.
Good morning, Aunt Viv.

5
00:00:16,455 --> 00:00:17,487
Oh, my!

6
00:00:20,653 --> 00:00:22,587
Look who's dressed up
for his first day at work.

7
00:00:22,607 --> 00:00:24,440
- You look so nice.
- Come on.

8
00:00:24,459 --> 00:00:26,694
Don't sweat me, Aunt Viv.
Don't sweat me. Don't sweat me.

9
00:00:27,416 --> 00:00:28,599
Give 'em back.

10
00:00:31,414 --> 00:00:33,608
Hey, Carlton. Look. I don't know
what you talking about, man.

11
00:00:33,629 --> 00:00:35,522
Alright?

12
00:00:35,541 --> 00:00:36,633
Carlton, what're.. Carlton!

13
00:00:36,654 --> 00:00:38,477
Carlton,
what are you doing, man?

14
00:00:38,498 --> 00:00:39,480
Carlton!

15
00:00:39,500 --> 00:00:40,632
What is going on here?

16
00:00:40,651 --> 00:00:42,665
I've got my job interview
in a half hour at the bank

17
00:00:42,686 --> 00:00:44,590
and Will's wearing my
argyles.

18
00:00:44,610 --> 00:00:47,686
Carlton, Carlton, get off.
Get off, man!

19
00:00:47,705 --> 00:00:50,691
You want your stupid socks back
you can have 'em.

20
00:00:50,711 --> 00:00:53,607
Probably ain't gonna help
my foot fungus anyway.

21
00:00:55,492 --> 00:00:56,584
Keep them.

22
00:00:58,697 --> 00:01:00,571
- Morning, Ashley.
- Good morning.

23
00:01:00,591 --> 00:01:02,605
Has anyone seen my black
leotard?

24
00:01:05,602 --> 00:01:06,694
That ain't funny.

25
00:01:08,517 --> 00:01:09,750
Philip, you think you'll be home
late from work tonight?

26
00:01:09,770 --> 00:01:11,764
Probably.
Jury selection's taking

27
00:01:11,783 --> 00:01:13,586
a lot longer than we thought.

28
00:01:13,606 --> 00:01:14,759
Could even spill over into
tomorrow.

29
00:01:14,780 --> 00:01:17,655
Tomorrow?
Daddy, tomorrow's Career Day.

30
00:01:17,675 --> 00:01:18,708
You're still gonna speak, right?

31
00:01:18,727 --> 00:01:20,560
Don't worry, Ashley.
I'll be there.

32
00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:22,624
- Oh, okay.
- Wait, wait. Hold up. Hold up.

33
00:01:22,644 --> 00:01:23,757
Hold up, Ashley.

34
00:01:23,778 --> 00:01:25,792
Y'all having a Career Day?

35
00:01:25,811 --> 00:01:27,634
I mean, why you ain't asked me?

36
00:01:27,654 --> 00:01:28,796
I'm sure all the kids
at your school would wanna know

37
00:01:28,816 --> 00:01:32,544
what an assistant talent
coordinator does.

38
00:01:32,565 --> 00:01:35,811
- Well, what do they do?
- What do they do?

39
00:01:35,830 --> 00:01:37,554
[scoffs]

40
00:01:39,729 --> 00:01:41,713
I'm gonna have to get back to
you on that one, Ash. Alright?

41
00:01:41,733 --> 00:01:44,784
- Breakfast is served.
- Oh, good. Good.

42
00:01:48,805 --> 00:01:52,576
I think I'll pick up something
down at the courthouse.

43
00:01:52,595 --> 00:01:54,785
- I'm sick. I'm sick. I'm sick.
- Me too.

44
00:01:54,806 --> 00:01:56,577
[indistinct chatter]

45
00:01:56,596 --> 00:01:57,826
[theme song]

46
00:01:57,846 --> 00:02:00,727
♪ Now this is a story
all about how ♪

47
00:02:00,747 --> 00:02:02,687
♪ My life got flipped
turned upside down ♪

48
00:02:02,708 --> 00:02:05,579
♪ And I'd like to take a minute
just sit right there ♪

49
00:02:05,599 --> 00:02:06,639
♪ I'll tell you how
I became the prince ♪

50
00:02:06,658 --> 00:02:07,828
♪ Of a town called Bel Air ♪

51
00:02:07,849 --> 00:02:11,580
[music continues]

52
00:02:16,721 --> 00:02:19,681
♪ In West Philadelphia
born and raised ♪

53
00:02:19,701 --> 00:02:22,602
♪ On the playground is where
I spent most of my days ♪

54
00:02:22,623 --> 00:02:24,634
♪ Chillin' out maxin'
relaxin' all cool ♪

55
00:02:24,654 --> 00:02:26,754
♪ And all shootin' some b-ball
outside of the school ♪

56
00:02:26,774 --> 00:02:28,845
♪ When a couple of guys
who were up to no good ♪

57
00:02:29,565 --> 00:02:31,625
♪ Started making trouble
in my neighborhood ♪

58
00:02:31,644 --> 00:02:33,845
♪ I got in one little fight
and my mom got scared and said ♪

59
00:02:34,566 --> 00:02:36,677
♪ You're movin' with your auntie
and uncle in Bel-Air ♪

60
00:02:36,696 --> 00:02:38,646
♪ I whistled for a cab
and when it came near ♪

61
00:02:38,666 --> 00:02:40,857
♪ The license plate said fresh
and it had dice in the mirror ♪

62
00:02:41,577 --> 00:02:43,677
♪ If anything I could say
that this cab was rare ♪

63
00:02:43,697 --> 00:02:44,698
♪ But I thought nah forget it ♪

64
00:02:44,719 --> 00:02:47,599
♪ Yo homes to Bel-Air ♪

65
00:02:47,619 --> 00:02:50,700
♪ I pulled up to the house
about seven or eight ♪

66
00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:51,750
♪ And I yelled to the cabbie ♪

67
00:02:51,769 --> 00:02:53,590
♪ Yo homes smell ya later ♪

68
00:02:53,610 --> 00:02:55,620
♪ I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there ♪

69
00:02:55,640 --> 00:02:57,811
♪ To sit on my throne
as the prince of Bel-Air ♪

70
00:02:57,831 --> 00:03:00,842
[music continues]

71
00:03:14,666 --> 00:03:15,776
(Werner)
Hilary, how you doing?

72
00:03:15,795 --> 00:03:17,695
Oh, how does it look like
I'm doing?

73
00:03:17,715 --> 00:03:19,825
My throat is sore.
My eyes are dry.

74
00:03:19,846 --> 00:03:21,836
Every bone in my body aches.

75
00:03:21,856 --> 00:03:23,615
And my nose is so clogged up

76
00:03:23,635 --> 00:03:26,675
I can't even smell my Obsession.

77
00:03:26,695 --> 00:03:29,655
Great. Then you'll be ready
to meet Mr. Stimple tomorrow.

78
00:03:29,674 --> 00:03:32,624
- Mr. Dipple?
- No, no. Not Dipple. Stimple.

79
00:03:32,644 --> 00:03:34,574
- That's what I said. Dipple.
- Right.

80
00:03:34,595 --> 00:03:36,605
The guy we're trying to get
to sponsor our show.

81
00:03:36,625 --> 00:03:38,684
Oh, but I can't do it tomorrow.
I'm almost dead.

82
00:03:38,703 --> 00:03:41,743
Well, if you don't do it
tomorrow the show will be dead.

83
00:03:45,604 --> 00:03:46,814
Hey, excuse me, man.
I was wondering if you-if you..

84
00:03:46,833 --> 00:03:48,713
If you could..

85
00:03:48,733 --> 00:03:50,583
Excu-excuse..
Excuse me, sweetheart.

86
00:03:50,604 --> 00:03:52,774
Could-could-could..
Could you..

87
00:03:52,793 --> 00:03:55,632
Catch up with you at the
commissary, baby. Alright?

88
00:03:56,832 --> 00:03:59,832
Hey, hey. Werner, what's up?
Hey, how you doing?

89
00:03:59,853 --> 00:04:02,813
Um, listen, I just wanna say
how great it is to be here

90
00:04:02,832 --> 00:04:05,572
and I wanted you to know that
I-I'm ready for anything.

91
00:04:05,593 --> 00:04:07,793
[chuckles]
Whoa, you are a tiger.

92
00:04:07,813 --> 00:04:09,792
- I like that.
- Rawr! Great.

93
00:04:09,812 --> 00:04:11,692
[laughs]

94
00:04:12,812 --> 00:04:15,792
- Well, um, let's see.
- Anything. Anything.

95
00:04:15,812 --> 00:04:17,622
You know, actually,
we do have something rather

96
00:04:17,641 --> 00:04:19,621
important going on,
we have a potential sponsor--

97
00:04:19,641 --> 00:04:20,731
Oh-oh! A sponsor! Great. Great.

98
00:04:20,752 --> 00:04:22,582
- Everything must be perfect.
- Perfect.

99
00:04:22,601 --> 00:04:23,631
Hey, I'm your man.
I'm your man.

100
00:04:23,651 --> 00:04:24,730
We really want to
impress this guy.

101
00:04:24,751 --> 00:04:26,631
Hey. Well, hey. Impress him.
I am with you.

102
00:04:26,650 --> 00:04:27,840
What you need me to do?
You know, pick him up in a limo.

103
00:04:27,861 --> 00:04:29,651
You know, take him out to
dinner? Show him the town?

104
00:04:29,671 --> 00:04:30,741
Listen. Anything you need.

105
00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:34,840
Actually, uh,
I need you to move those boxes.

106
00:04:34,861 --> 00:04:36,741
Boxes.

107
00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:39,639
- Boxes?
- To the Xerox room.

108
00:04:41,740 --> 00:04:43,650
Poof! Boxes!

109
00:04:43,670 --> 00:04:44,650
[grunts]

110
00:04:44,670 --> 00:04:45,790
[chuckles]

111
00:04:45,810 --> 00:04:47,700
Oh, hey, but listen, you know,
after-after I do that

112
00:04:47,719 --> 00:04:49,829
you know, I-I think I'll be
really ready for some

113
00:04:49,849 --> 00:04:51,729
some serious responsibility.

114
00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:53,770
Don't worry, soon enough
you'll have more responsibility

115
00:04:53,790 --> 00:04:54,789
than you can handle.

116
00:04:54,809 --> 00:04:56,599
Alright.

117
00:04:57,648 --> 00:05:00,658
Who ordered a Chinese
chicken salad?

118
00:05:03,819 --> 00:05:05,599
Hey, daddy.
How's the jury selection going?

119
00:05:05,619 --> 00:05:06,779
Oh, it's exhausting.

120
00:05:06,799 --> 00:05:08,779
We're still four jurors
short
and I, and I don't know--

121
00:05:08,799 --> 00:05:10,598
This isn't gonna keep you from

122
00:05:10,618 --> 00:05:11,658
coming to school tomorrow,
is it?

123
00:05:11,678 --> 00:05:12,858
Well, if we don't find them

124
00:05:13,577 --> 00:05:15,687
we'll just go with
whatever we have.

125
00:05:18,847 --> 00:05:21,577
Geoffrey, make me a
sandwich.

126
00:05:21,597 --> 00:05:23,757
- May I remind you, sir..
- No, you may not.

127
00:05:23,777 --> 00:05:25,656
Just make me a sandwich.

128
00:05:26,596 --> 00:05:27,826
As you wish, sir.

129
00:05:28,766 --> 00:05:29,856
I don't mean to brag

130
00:05:30,576 --> 00:05:31,796
but you're looking at the
next
junior executive

131
00:05:31,817 --> 00:05:34,607
at the California
International Bank.

132
00:05:34,627 --> 00:05:36,657
Well, they hired you
on the spot, huh, son?

133
00:05:36,677 --> 00:05:38,717
Well, they haven't actually
hired me yet

134
00:05:38,737 --> 00:05:40,807
but their body language
was pretty clear.

135
00:05:43,656 --> 00:05:44,806
Body language?

136
00:05:44,825 --> 00:05:47,625
Sure. They gave me the wink
and the gun.

137
00:05:48,666 --> 00:05:49,808
You know.

138
00:05:49,827 --> 00:05:50,859
[clicking tongue]

139
00:05:52,683 --> 00:05:54,677
Oh, when they give you the wink
and the gun that means

140
00:05:54,697 --> 00:05:56,651
"Hey, you're our man."

141
00:05:56,671 --> 00:05:57,702
[clicking tongue]

142
00:05:59,595 --> 00:06:01,679
- Hey, hey. What's up, guys?
- Hey, Will.

143
00:06:01,700 --> 00:06:02,882
How did your first day go?

144
00:06:03,602 --> 00:06:04,764
Oh, it was great, Uncle Phil.

145
00:06:04,784 --> 00:06:06,838
Hey, listen, after I got
finished changing light bulbs

146
00:06:06,858 --> 00:06:08,641
and moving boxes

147
00:06:08,662 --> 00:06:10,756
they gave me somethin'
really important to do.

148
00:06:10,776 --> 00:06:12,790
I moved a big box.

149
00:06:14,713 --> 00:06:16,827
Well, that's the problem
with menial jobs, Will.

150
00:06:16,847 --> 00:06:19,722
You're completely at the
mercy
of someone else's whims.

151
00:06:19,742 --> 00:06:20,864
Now, if you'd have
taken a more executive

152
00:06:20,884 --> 00:06:22,877
corporate like endeavor
such as myself

153
00:06:22,897 --> 00:06:24,771
then you'd be your own man.

154
00:06:24,792 --> 00:06:27,847
Not sitting around like some
puppet waiting to be
beckoned.

155
00:06:27,867 --> 00:06:28,849
[telephone ringing]

156
00:06:28,869 --> 00:06:30,803
That's them. That's them.

157
00:06:32,876 --> 00:06:33,908
Hello?

158
00:06:35,660 --> 00:06:36,843
No. She's not here right now.

159
00:06:36,863 --> 00:06:38,666
She'll call you tomorrow.

160
00:06:40,730 --> 00:06:42,723
Ashley, call Felicia tomorrow.

161
00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:44,807
What did you do that for?

162
00:06:44,827 --> 00:06:46,720
I need to keep the line clear.

163
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:47,812
Well, I'm calling her upstairs.

164
00:06:47,832 --> 00:06:49,676
- Oh, no, you're not.
- Yes, I am.

165
00:06:49,696 --> 00:06:51,689
- Oh, no, you're not.
- Who put you in charge?

166
00:06:51,710 --> 00:06:53,793
I did. I am Carlton.
You are not..

167
00:06:53,813 --> 00:06:56,779
[sighs]
I'll talk to you later on,
Uncle Phil.

168
00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:57,982
You know, Will..

169
00:06:58,702 --> 00:07:00,956
My first job was
in a law clerk's office.

170
00:07:00,976 --> 00:07:03,922
It was the summer of my freshman
year in college

171
00:07:03,943 --> 00:07:04,955
and I thought I was..

172
00:07:04,974 --> 00:07:06,757
[chuckles]

173
00:07:06,777 --> 00:07:07,779
All that.

174
00:07:07,799 --> 00:07:08,831
[chuckles]

175
00:07:14,772 --> 00:07:16,826
Anyway, I spent most of my days

176
00:07:16,846 --> 00:07:18,990
uh, making coffee
and copying legal documents.

177
00:07:19,009 --> 00:07:21,854
And that was before Xerox
machines.

178
00:07:21,874 --> 00:07:23,758
[chuckles]
Dag.

179
00:07:23,779 --> 00:07:25,021
Who was your boss?
Mr. Slate?

180
00:07:25,742 --> 00:07:28,016
[laughs]

181
00:07:30,791 --> 00:07:32,835
He was on The Flintstones.

182
00:07:34,939 --> 00:07:35,961
Go ahead, uncle.

183
00:07:36,902 --> 00:07:37,984
Well, the point is

184
00:07:38,005 --> 00:07:39,958
one day I decided
to take some initiative

185
00:07:39,977 --> 00:07:42,993
and, and make myself
more important to them.

186
00:07:43,014 --> 00:07:45,007
You know, it worked.

187
00:07:45,027 --> 00:07:48,053
- Hm. Initiative, huh?
- 'Yeah.'

188
00:07:48,784 --> 00:07:51,800
- Your sandwich, sir.
- Oh, thank you, Geoffrey.

189
00:07:51,819 --> 00:07:52,851
[chuckles softly]

190
00:07:58,051 --> 00:08:02,018
- What is this?
- Tofu and rice cakes.

191
00:08:02,038 --> 00:08:06,897
I tried to warn you.
Mrs. Banks has run amuck.

192
00:08:06,917 --> 00:08:09,011
Geoffrey. Geoffrey,
now, if you'll go to my
office

193
00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:10,953
and look in my desk..

194
00:08:10,973 --> 00:08:12,867
Gone, sir.

195
00:08:13,930 --> 00:08:17,857
- My pimento loaf?
- I'm afraid so, sir.

196
00:08:17,877 --> 00:08:19,861
But I still have some
bologna
in the..

197
00:08:19,881 --> 00:08:21,914
She got that too, sir.

198
00:08:22,896 --> 00:08:25,972
Man, Aunt Viv got skills.

199
00:08:25,991 --> 00:08:27,994
Hey, look, Uncle Phil,
what do you say

200
00:08:28,015 --> 00:08:31,892
we slide down to Mickey D's
before she clean them out
too.

201
00:08:31,913 --> 00:08:33,055
- Initiative.
- Yes, sir.

202
00:08:33,075 --> 00:08:34,888
Yes!

203
00:08:34,907 --> 00:08:37,011
[instrumental music]

204
00:08:38,985 --> 00:08:42,141
So do you think that you could
render an impartial verdict

205
00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:44,064
in accordance with the law?

206
00:08:44,085 --> 00:08:47,080
Oh, I know I can. I must.

207
00:08:47,100 --> 00:08:49,034
I've been ordered to.

208
00:08:49,053 --> 00:08:50,946
Ordered?

209
00:08:50,967 --> 00:08:51,989
By whom?

210
00:08:53,050 --> 00:08:54,162
Alex Trebek.

211
00:08:59,081 --> 00:09:01,956
I'd like to thank our guest,
Mitchell Conklin

212
00:09:01,976 --> 00:09:06,925
for sharing his heartbreaking
story of a life with no friends.

213
00:09:06,945 --> 00:09:09,119
Well, Mr. Mitchell Conklin

214
00:09:09,140 --> 00:09:11,014
I'm your friend.

215
00:09:12,166 --> 00:09:16,023
Come back tomorrow
for more of me. Hilary.

216
00:09:16,043 --> 00:09:17,145
[applauding]

217
00:09:17,165 --> 00:09:19,038
And we're out.

218
00:09:19,058 --> 00:09:20,110
I'd just like to thank you for..

219
00:09:20,129 --> 00:09:21,231
Not now.

220
00:09:23,035 --> 00:09:24,047
Great show.

221
00:09:24,067 --> 00:09:25,109
[Hilary sneezes]

222
00:09:25,128 --> 00:09:29,085
Ew! Could somebody
please get me a Kleenex?

223
00:09:30,198 --> 00:09:34,035
Oh, look at me.
I'm getting all puffy.

224
00:09:34,055 --> 00:09:35,137
Werner, what am I gonna do?

225
00:09:35,156 --> 00:09:37,190
- Well, I..
- It's done, Hil.

226
00:09:37,211 --> 00:09:40,096
I just, I just went
and I got her some medicine.

227
00:09:40,115 --> 00:09:42,079
You know,
I took a little initiative.

228
00:09:42,100 --> 00:09:44,153
Initiative. I like that.

229
00:09:44,172 --> 00:09:46,024
You know, thinking ahead
will get you ahead.

230
00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:47,146
Little story.
When I started off..

231
00:09:47,166 --> 00:09:49,109
Hello?
Aren't I the patient?

232
00:09:49,129 --> 00:09:51,011
Shouldn't I be getting
all the attention?

233
00:09:51,031 --> 00:09:53,244
Will, why don't you go
help Hilary relax?

234
00:09:53,264 --> 00:09:55,007
Oh, yes, sir.

235
00:09:55,027 --> 00:09:57,130
Oh, hey, I just wanted tell you.

236
00:09:57,150 --> 00:10:00,034
I'm really starting to feel like
part of the team around here.

237
00:10:00,054 --> 00:10:03,078
[chuckles]
Don't ever touch me.

238
00:10:03,099 --> 00:10:06,173
Just gotta learn the rules, man.
Just gotta learn the rules.

239
00:10:10,269 --> 00:10:14,144
Mr. Jackson, why do you think
you'd make a good juror?

240
00:10:14,163 --> 00:10:16,136
Because I could always tell
if someone was guilty

241
00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:18,059
just by looking at them.

242
00:10:19,180 --> 00:10:21,313
Sir,
even I can't tell by looking.

243
00:10:21,333 --> 00:10:24,056
And they let you be a judge.

244
00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:35,222
My brain is all clouded.

245
00:10:35,242 --> 00:10:37,245
My head's all fogged up.

246
00:10:37,266 --> 00:10:39,098
And I can't think straight.

247
00:10:39,117 --> 00:10:42,281
And now you've got a cold
on top of it.

248
00:10:42,302 --> 00:10:45,297
- Will, just fix it.
- Oh.

249
00:10:45,317 --> 00:10:47,119
Here you go, Catwoman.

250
00:10:52,125 --> 00:10:53,146
[sneezes]

251
00:10:54,199 --> 00:10:56,201
See?
You getting better already.

252
00:10:59,286 --> 00:11:02,190
- Soy meatloaf, madam?
- Yes, Geoffrey.

253
00:11:02,210 --> 00:11:04,293
I am through serving
that fat-filled

254
00:11:04,313 --> 00:11:06,215
cholesterol-ridden mess.

255
00:11:06,234 --> 00:11:09,389
Say what you will,
but he is a good provider.

256
00:11:14,116 --> 00:11:15,368
I knew that's why
they didn't call.

257
00:11:15,387 --> 00:11:18,361
- Geoffrey, I told you no calls.
- Master Carlton, I was just..

258
00:11:18,381 --> 00:11:21,245
Damn you and your excuses.

259
00:11:21,265 --> 00:11:24,139
Sit down and relax.

260
00:11:25,140 --> 00:11:26,322
You're right.

261
00:11:26,343 --> 00:11:27,414
Geoffrey, I'm sorry.

262
00:11:28,135 --> 00:11:29,427
[telephone ringing]

263
00:11:30,147 --> 00:11:31,409
Touch that
and you'll be on the first thing

264
00:11:31,429 --> 00:11:33,391
smoking back to London.

265
00:11:35,284 --> 00:11:38,398
[high-pitched voice]
Carlton Banks' office.
Please hold.

266
00:11:38,418 --> 00:11:40,251
[normal voice]
Carlton Banks here.

267
00:11:41,363 --> 00:11:43,286
Oh, hi, dad.

268
00:11:43,305 --> 00:11:45,268
I thought it was someone
important.

269
00:11:46,429 --> 00:11:49,333
But I can't.
I-I'm waiting on a phone..

270
00:11:51,387 --> 00:11:52,418
Fine.

271
00:11:53,390 --> 00:11:54,381
Is everything okay?

272
00:11:54,401 --> 00:11:56,334
Dad's still interviewing jurors.

273
00:11:56,353 --> 00:11:59,287
I've gotta go to Ashley's school
and tell her he can't make it.

274
00:11:59,307 --> 00:12:01,380
Look, if anyone calls just give
them my cell phone number.

275
00:12:01,401 --> 00:12:02,412
Thanks.

276
00:12:04,255 --> 00:12:08,300
- Keep the lines clear.
- Certainly, Master Carlton.

277
00:12:09,321 --> 00:12:10,332
Whoops.

278
00:12:12,465 --> 00:12:15,459
Hey. Yo, Hil,
Mr. Stimple's here to..

279
00:12:15,479 --> 00:12:17,422
Well, what do you know?

280
00:12:17,443 --> 00:12:20,217
It's Uncle Cousin Will.

281
00:12:20,236 --> 00:12:21,277
[Hilary chuckles]

282
00:12:22,299 --> 00:12:25,294
Oh, I feel much better.

283
00:12:27,476 --> 00:12:30,239
That was some good tea.

284
00:12:31,442 --> 00:12:33,315
I love you.

285
00:12:34,416 --> 00:12:36,459
Uh, Hil, Hil, Hil. Hey, come
here. Come here. Come here.

286
00:12:36,479 --> 00:12:39,293
Come here. Come here.
Wait right here.

287
00:12:39,313 --> 00:12:40,324
[Hilary groans]

288
00:12:40,344 --> 00:12:42,277
[screams]

289
00:12:43,407 --> 00:12:45,340
"Use only before bedtime.

290
00:12:45,361 --> 00:12:47,384
Do not operate heavy machinery."

291
00:12:47,403 --> 00:12:49,476
Good thing we're not
on a tractor, huh?

292
00:12:49,497 --> 00:12:50,538
[chuckles]

293
00:12:51,469 --> 00:12:53,462
[screams]

294
00:12:53,482 --> 00:12:55,385
[screams]

295
00:12:55,404 --> 00:12:57,487
[instrumental music]

296
00:13:00,270 --> 00:13:02,373
[screams]

297
00:13:02,393 --> 00:13:04,396
[laughs]

298
00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:08,342
Hilary. Hilary.
Come here. Come here. Come here.

299
00:13:08,363 --> 00:13:09,434
[chokes]

300
00:13:10,565 --> 00:13:12,327
Now, Hilary, you gotta get

301
00:13:12,348 --> 00:13:13,500
yourself together
for your sponsor.

302
00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:17,405
- Oh, Mr. Pimple? Bring him in.
- No. It's Mr. Stimple.

303
00:13:17,424 --> 00:13:19,407
Bring him in too.
The more the merrier.

304
00:13:19,427 --> 00:13:21,489
Oh, but we're gonna need
some
more tea.

305
00:13:21,511 --> 00:13:24,324
Oh, no. Ah, ah, ah.

306
00:13:24,343 --> 00:13:25,535
I think you missed the last
call, baby.

307
00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:27,478
Come on, walk it off.
Walk it off.

308
00:13:27,499 --> 00:13:28,530
♪ I'm a little teapot ♪♪

309
00:13:28,550 --> 00:13:30,363
Hilary!

310
00:13:30,383 --> 00:13:31,424
Now breathe, breathe.

311
00:13:31,443 --> 00:13:33,456
[Hilary panting]

312
00:13:34,597 --> 00:13:38,353
Get up! You are not trying here,
young lady.

313
00:13:39,464 --> 00:13:41,557
[crying]

314
00:13:41,577 --> 00:13:43,430
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. Come on. Come on.

315
00:13:43,450 --> 00:13:44,541
Walk it off. Walk it off.

316
00:13:44,562 --> 00:13:47,416
Oh, Will.
You're tickling me. Stop.

317
00:13:48,427 --> 00:13:49,559
[knocking on door]

318
00:13:49,579 --> 00:13:51,572
Werner is wondering
what's taking so long.

319
00:13:51,591 --> 00:13:53,493
Candace, hi.

320
00:13:53,513 --> 00:13:56,377
Have you met my cousin,
Will?

321
00:13:56,397 --> 00:13:58,570
Isn't he cute?

322
00:13:58,591 --> 00:14:00,394
Uh, uh..

323
00:14:00,414 --> 00:14:01,535
She-she had too much medicine.

324
00:14:01,555 --> 00:14:03,348
[chuckles]
Yeah, right.

325
00:14:03,367 --> 00:14:04,528
Wait. Hey. Hey. Wait.
Wait a minute.

326
00:14:04,549 --> 00:14:06,422
Now listen, you go down there

327
00:14:06,442 --> 00:14:08,435
and you stall Werner
and Mr. Stimple. Alright?

328
00:14:08,455 --> 00:14:09,596
- I'm gonna take care of Hilary.
- Okay. But wait a minute..

329
00:14:09,615 --> 00:14:11,498
Alright, alright..

330
00:14:14,483 --> 00:14:15,545
Hilary.

331
00:14:15,565 --> 00:14:18,388
Hilary go night-night.

332
00:14:20,371 --> 00:14:22,614
[instrumental music]

333
00:14:22,633 --> 00:14:25,517
I can't believe this is
happening. Dad promised.

334
00:14:25,537 --> 00:14:29,423
Buck up, Ashley. Life is filled
with disappointments.

335
00:14:29,443 --> 00:14:31,445
I am the only person
who doesn't have a speaker.

336
00:14:31,466 --> 00:14:32,598
I'm gonna look like an idiot.

337
00:14:32,618 --> 00:14:35,522
Once again,
Carlton Banks to the rescue.

338
00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:36,592
When do I go on?

339
00:14:36,613 --> 00:14:39,407
No. No.
Carlton, it's Career Day.

340
00:14:39,426 --> 00:14:40,548
You don't even have a job.

341
00:14:41,659 --> 00:14:44,473
Fine. But, if you don't want
the next junior executive

342
00:14:44,494 --> 00:14:45,656
at the California
International Bank..

343
00:14:45,675 --> 00:14:49,420
Okay. Okay. Fine. I'll go
tell
them to introduce you.

344
00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:50,491
[cell phone rings]

345
00:14:51,673 --> 00:14:54,487
[high-pitched voice]
Carlton Banks' office.
Please hold.

346
00:14:57,601 --> 00:14:58,683
[normal voice]
Carlton Banks here.

347
00:14:59,645 --> 00:15:02,549
Oh, yes. The job, of course.

348
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:03,619
Uh-huh.

349
00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:04,652
Yes.

350
00:15:06,443 --> 00:15:07,455
Huh?

351
00:15:08,466 --> 00:15:09,598
But I don't understand.

352
00:15:09,618 --> 00:15:10,699
You can't give a guy the wink
and the gun

353
00:15:10,719 --> 00:15:13,714
and then not give him a job.

354
00:15:13,734 --> 00:15:16,569
Buck up? Buck off.

355
00:15:18,663 --> 00:15:23,530
(female #1)
Our next speaker is Ashley's
brother, Mr. Carlton Banks.

356
00:15:23,550 --> 00:15:24,592
[audience applauding]

357
00:15:26,634 --> 00:15:29,699
And here is where
we hide our star.

358
00:15:31,543 --> 00:15:33,766
Hey!

359
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:38,774
How you doing?

360
00:15:42,580 --> 00:15:45,554
You must be Mr. Stimple.
How you doing?

361
00:15:45,574 --> 00:15:47,738
I'm Hilary's hair designer,
Diante.

362
00:15:49,650 --> 00:15:51,523
Pleasure.

363
00:15:51,543 --> 00:15:55,729
Oh, why didn't you tell me
he had such lustrous hairs?

364
00:15:55,750 --> 00:15:58,645
Oh, excuse me. I'm right in the
middle doing girlfriend's hair.

365
00:15:58,664 --> 00:16:01,638
She is so excited to meet you.
Just later.

366
00:16:01,658 --> 00:16:03,631
Well, I'd kind of like to
meet her now.

367
00:16:03,651 --> 00:16:05,685
Uh, Hilary,
I've never seen the program.

368
00:16:05,705 --> 00:16:07,598
Do you stand there
and interview a guest

369
00:16:07,619 --> 00:16:08,810
or do you run all around
like Donahue?

370
00:16:09,541 --> 00:16:10,812
Oh, listen.
Hilary can do it all.

371
00:16:11,535 --> 00:16:15,601
You know, she can stand.
She can run.

372
00:16:15,621 --> 00:16:16,803
You know, she's like Ricki Lake

373
00:16:16,822 --> 00:16:19,776
and Oprah and Donahue
all wrapped up in one.

374
00:16:19,797 --> 00:16:22,642
Around here we call her
Ricki-Oprah-Hue.

375
00:16:24,604 --> 00:16:25,816
Very clever word play

376
00:16:25,836 --> 00:16:28,640
but I'd like to hear
what Hilary has to say.

377
00:16:28,661 --> 00:16:32,647
Oh, see, she like real shy.

378
00:16:32,667 --> 00:16:35,652
You know, she can't really
verbalize with you

379
00:16:35,672 --> 00:16:36,864
till she gets to know you.

380
00:16:37,584 --> 00:16:38,626
You know what I mean?

381
00:16:44,595 --> 00:16:45,777
Of course. Where's my head?

382
00:16:45,798 --> 00:16:47,741
Hi, Fred Stimple.
Stimple Rubber. Pleasure.

383
00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:51,716
Oh, no, you don't. Honey, it
took me an hour to do the nails.

384
00:16:51,736 --> 00:16:53,669
You a Leo, ain't you?

385
00:16:57,785 --> 00:16:59,878
And in conclusion,
if you follow these steps

386
00:16:59,898 --> 00:17:03,855
as I have outlined then I
guarantee you'll be successful.

387
00:17:03,875 --> 00:17:05,818
[applauding]

388
00:17:05,839 --> 00:17:07,902
Thank you.

389
00:17:08,623 --> 00:17:10,726
You still haven't told us
what you do.

390
00:17:12,799 --> 00:17:15,684
Well, I-I was previously

391
00:17:15,703 --> 00:17:17,786
in expeditious
comestible management.

392
00:17:17,807 --> 00:17:19,900
And, um, currently

393
00:17:19,919 --> 00:17:23,805
I'm overseeing
a myriad of options.

394
00:17:24,767 --> 00:17:26,700
Do you even have a job?

395
00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:27,882
Well, strictly speaking, I..

396
00:17:27,903 --> 00:17:29,816
He's a bum just like
my Uncle Eddie.

397
00:17:29,836 --> 00:17:31,809
[laughing]

398
00:17:31,829 --> 00:17:34,844
Excuse me, sir.
Are you really a bum?

399
00:17:34,864 --> 00:17:36,767
Back off, sister.

400
00:17:37,898 --> 00:17:39,811
You got an attitude problem.

401
00:17:39,831 --> 00:17:40,923
Damn right I've got attitude.

402
00:17:40,942 --> 00:17:41,934
Just wait till you grow up.

403
00:17:41,954 --> 00:17:43,917
You'll see how tough it is.

404
00:17:43,937 --> 00:17:45,810
There are sharks out there

405
00:17:45,831 --> 00:17:49,747
and you're all little guppies
waiting to be devoured.

406
00:17:49,766 --> 00:17:52,740
Oh, sure, you can lie back in
your protective little womb

407
00:17:52,760 --> 00:17:55,695
called high school and pretend
the world is your oyster.

408
00:17:55,715 --> 00:17:57,858
But one day it's gonna turn on
you like the rotting milk

409
00:17:57,879 --> 00:18:00,714
in your stinking little
lunchboxes.

410
00:18:02,796 --> 00:18:03,827
Thank you.

411
00:18:14,814 --> 00:18:17,749
You know, with a touch of henna
and a kiss of ash blond

412
00:18:17,769 --> 00:18:19,822
you're gonna need yourself
a beeper, girl.

413
00:18:20,965 --> 00:18:26,013
Diante, you're a very unusual
man, but I grow tired.

414
00:18:26,032 --> 00:18:27,965
- Who are you?
- Aah!

415
00:18:27,986 --> 00:18:30,900
Who am I? I'm Mr. Stimple.
Stimple Rubber.

416
00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:33,825
Oh, my God.
Mr. Stimple.

417
00:18:33,844 --> 00:18:35,827
- Will..
- Will?

418
00:18:35,847 --> 00:18:38,862
- I thought you were Diante?
- Diante?

419
00:18:42,868 --> 00:18:44,901
There's a perfectly good
explanation for all of this.

420
00:18:44,922 --> 00:18:48,928
Save it.
This has been, uh, different.

421
00:18:48,948 --> 00:18:51,873
Excuse me, Mr. Stimple.
Um, I'm sorry.

422
00:18:51,892 --> 00:18:52,994
Uh, M-Mr. Stimple.

423
00:18:53,015 --> 00:18:56,019
Um, look, my name is not Diante.

424
00:18:56,039 --> 00:18:58,924
My name is Will.
I'm Hilary's cousin.

425
00:18:58,944 --> 00:19:02,980
Now look, this is-this all
quite simple, Mr. Stimple.

426
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:04,978
I'm sorry. Um, listen.

427
00:19:04,998 --> 00:19:08,025
Look, my uncle told me I should
take some initiative, right?

428
00:19:08,045 --> 00:19:09,983
So I got night-time-so-you
could-sleep instead of

429
00:19:10,003 --> 00:19:11,891
daytime-so-you-could think
medicine, right?

430
00:19:11,910 --> 00:19:13,998
Man, how is she supposed
to drive a tractor? You
know.

431
00:19:14,019 --> 00:19:16,007
So I said, "Aah!"
And, you know she said "Aah!"

432
00:19:16,027 --> 00:19:18,804
You-you-you know
what I'm saying?

433
00:19:18,823 --> 00:19:21,021
- You're Hilary's cousin?
- Exactly.

434
00:19:21,041 --> 00:19:23,998
This is the worst day
of my life, Mr. Stimple.

435
00:19:24,019 --> 00:19:26,786
- I'm so sorry.
- No need to apologize.

436
00:19:26,805 --> 00:19:27,954
Believe me,
I know all about nepotism.

437
00:19:27,975 --> 00:19:29,843
I got a factory full of
idiot nephews

438
00:19:29,862 --> 00:19:31,939
and worthless brother-in-laws.

439
00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:34,808
The way I see it, with only one
moronic cousin running around

440
00:19:34,827 --> 00:19:35,835
you're way ahead of the game.

441
00:19:35,855 --> 00:19:36,874
[both laugh]

442
00:19:37,823 --> 00:19:40,850
[Will laughing]

443
00:19:42,828 --> 00:19:44,946
He said, "Moronic cousin."

444
00:19:44,967 --> 00:19:47,015
Hey. Ho-ho-hold up, man.

445
00:19:48,802 --> 00:19:51,040
[instrumental music]

446
00:19:51,759 --> 00:19:53,817
Fine. I understand
your having to work.

447
00:19:53,837 --> 00:19:55,995
I even understand
you missing Career Day.

448
00:19:56,015 --> 00:19:57,034
But what I don't understand is

449
00:19:57,753 --> 00:19:58,982
how you could possibly
send Carlton.

450
00:19:59,002 --> 00:20:01,919
I mean, you could've sent mom.
You could've sent Geoffrey.

451
00:20:01,940 --> 00:20:04,767
You could've even sent
the pool guy.

452
00:20:05,765 --> 00:20:06,974
He answered the phone?

453
00:20:08,852 --> 00:20:10,780
I understand
you taking the initiative.

454
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:11,979
I even understand
you giving me the tea.

455
00:20:11,999 --> 00:20:15,725
But what I don't understand
is how this happened?

456
00:20:16,844 --> 00:20:20,929
Uh, see, well, you bobbed
when you should've weaved.

457
00:20:26,783 --> 00:20:27,802
- Sorry.
- Sorry.

458
00:20:28,912 --> 00:20:30,740
Dinner is served.

459
00:20:30,759 --> 00:20:31,808
- I'm sick.
- I'm sick.

460
00:20:31,828 --> 00:20:34,725
Hold on. Hold on. Hold on!

461
00:20:34,745 --> 00:20:36,763
- Now, we have to do this.
- Oh, sure.

462
00:20:36,783 --> 00:20:38,831
Now our responsibilities
kick in.

463
00:20:39,921 --> 00:20:42,958
[instrumental music]

464
00:20:52,977 --> 00:20:54,895
(Vivian)
'Look at you.'

465
00:20:54,916 --> 00:20:56,844
'I can't believe
you're acting like this.'

466
00:20:56,864 --> 00:21:00,770
All I'm trying to do is
look out for everybody here.

467
00:21:00,789 --> 00:21:02,687
Honey,
don't you wanna live longer?

468
00:21:02,707 --> 00:21:03,866
Don't you wanna feel better?

469
00:21:08,711 --> 00:21:11,748
Last one to Roscoe's Chicken
and Waffles ain't eating.

470
00:21:11,768 --> 00:21:14,794
[instrumental music]

471
00:21:17,771 --> 00:21:20,708
I understand there were
other applicants.

472
00:21:20,728 --> 00:21:23,925
I even understand
I was too young for the job.

473
00:21:23,945 --> 00:21:26,722
But what I don't understand

474
00:21:26,742 --> 00:21:29,839
is they gave me the wink
and the gun.

475
00:21:31,697 --> 00:21:34,644
They gave me the wink
and the gun.

476
00:21:36,833 --> 00:21:38,671
Buck up, pal.

477
00:21:38,891 --> 00:21:41,888
[instrumental music]

478
00:21:46,863 --> 00:21:49,720
[theme music]

479
00:21:49,739 --> 00:21:50,768
♪ Yeah ♪

480
00:21:53,885 --> 00:21:55,653
♪ Yeah ♪

481
00:21:58,781 --> 00:21:59,810
♪ Yeah ♪

482
00:22:03,695 --> 00:22:04,754
♪ Yeah ♪

483
00:22:07,861 --> 00:22:09,610
♪ Yeah ♪

484
00:22:12,695 --> 00:22:13,754
♪ Yeah ♪♪