There. Finally, this family's gonna start eating healthy.
What do you think?
I think it's too good to be wasted on the hired help.
Hey, hey. Good morning, Aunt Viv.
Oh, my!
Look who's dressed up for his first day at work.
- You look so nice. - Come on.
Don't sweat me, Aunt Viv. Don't sweat me. Don't sweat me.
Give 'em back.
Hey, Carlton. Look. I don't know what you talking about, man.
Alright?
Carlton, what're.. Carlton!
Carlton, what are you doing, man?
Carlton!
What is going on here?
I've got my job interview in a half hour at the bank
and Will's wearing my argyles.
Carlton, Carlton, get off. Get off, man!
You want your stupid socks back you can have 'em.
Probably ain't gonna help my foot fungus anyway.
Keep them.
- Morning, Ashley. - Good morning.
Has anyone seen my black leotard?
That ain't funny.
Philip, you think you'll be home late from work tonight?
Probably. Jury selection's taking
a lot longer than we thought.
Could even spill over into tomorrow.
Tomorrow? Daddy, tomorrow's Career Day.
You're still gonna speak, right?
Don't worry, Ashley. I'll be there.
- Oh, okay. - Wait, wait. Hold up. Hold up.
Hold up, Ashley.
Y'all having a Career Day?
I mean, why you ain't asked me?
I'm sure all the kids at your school would wanna know
what an assistant talent coordinator does.
- Well, what do they do? - What do they do?
[scoffs]
I'm gonna have to get back to you on that one, Ash. Alright?
- Breakfast is served. - Oh, good. Good.
I think I'll pick up something down at the courthouse.
- I'm sick. I'm sick. I'm sick. - Me too.
[indistinct chatter]
[theme song]
♪ Now this is a story all about how ♪
♪ My life got flipped turned upside down ♪
♪ And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there ♪
♪ I'll tell you how I became the prince ♪
♪ Of a town called Bel Air ♪
[music continues]
♪ In West Philadelphia born and raised ♪
♪ On the playground is where I spent most of my days ♪
♪ Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool ♪
♪ And all shootin' some b-ball outside of the school ♪
♪ When a couple of guys who were up to no good ♪
♪ Started making trouble in my neighborhood ♪
♪ I got in one little fight and my mom got scared and said ♪
♪ You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air ♪
♪ I whistled for a cab and when it came near ♪
♪ The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror ♪
♪ If anything I could say that this cab was rare ♪
♪ But I thought nah forget it ♪
♪ Yo homes to Bel-Air ♪
♪ I pulled up to the house about seven or eight ♪
♪ And I yelled to the cabbie ♪
♪ Yo homes smell ya later ♪
♪ I looked at my kingdom I was finally there ♪
♪ To sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air ♪
[music continues]
(Werner) Hilary, how you doing?
Oh, how does it look like I'm doing?
My throat is sore. My eyes are dry.
Every bone in my body aches.
And my nose is so clogged up
I can't even smell my Obsession.
Great. Then you'll be ready to meet Mr. Stimple tomorrow.
- Mr. Dipple? - No, no. Not Dipple. Stimple.
- That's what I said. Dipple. - Right.
The guy we're trying to get to sponsor our show.
Oh, but I can't do it tomorrow. I'm almost dead.
Well, if you don't do it tomorrow the show will be dead.
Hey, excuse me, man. I was wondering if you-if you..
If you could..
Excu-excuse.. Excuse me, sweetheart.
Could-could-could.. Could you..
Catch up with you at the commissary, baby. Alright?
Hey, hey. Werner, what's up? Hey, how you doing?
Um, listen, I just wanna say how great it is to be here
and I wanted you to know that I-I'm ready for anything.
[chuckles] Whoa, you are a tiger.
- I like that. - Rawr! Great.
[laughs]
- Well, um, let's see. - Anything. Anything.
You know, actually, we do have something rather
important going on, we have a potential sponsor--
Oh-oh! A sponsor! Great. Great.
- Everything must be perfect. - Perfect.
Hey, I'm your man. I'm your man.
We really want to impress this guy.
Hey. Well, hey. Impress him. I am with you.
What you need me to do? You know, pick him up in a limo.
You know, take him out to dinner? Show him the town?
Listen. Anything you need.
Actually, uh, I need you to move those boxes.
Boxes.
- Boxes? - To the Xerox room.
Poof! Boxes!
[grunts]
[chuckles]
Oh, hey, but listen, you know, after-after I do that
you know, I-I think I'll be really ready for some
some serious responsibility.
Don't worry, soon enough you'll have more responsibility
than you can handle.
Alright.
Who ordered a Chinese chicken salad?
Hey, daddy. How's the jury selection going?
Oh, it's exhausting.
We're still four jurors short and I, and I don't know--
This isn't gonna keep you from
coming to school tomorrow, is it?
Well, if we don't find them
we'll just go with whatever we have.
Geoffrey, make me a sandwich.
- May I remind you, sir.. - No, you may not.
Just make me a sandwich.
As you wish, sir.
I don't mean to brag
but you're looking at the next junior executive
at the California International Bank.
Well, they hired you on the spot, huh, son?
Well, they haven't actually hired me yet
but their body language was pretty clear.
Body language?
Sure. They gave me the wink and the gun.
You know.
[clicking tongue]
Oh, when they give you the wink and the gun that means
"Hey, you're our man."
[clicking tongue]
- Hey, hey. What's up, guys? - Hey, Will.
How did your first day go?
Oh, it was great, Uncle Phil.
Hey, listen, after I got finished changing light bulbs
and moving boxes
they gave me somethin' really important to do.
I moved a big box.
Well, that's the problem with menial jobs, Will.
You're completely at the mercy of someone else's whims.
Now, if you'd have taken a more executive
corporate like endeavor such as myself
then you'd be your own man.
Not sitting around like some puppet waiting to be beckoned.
[telephone ringing]
That's them. That's them.
Hello?
No. She's not here right now.
She'll call you tomorrow.
Ashley, call Felicia tomorrow.
What did you do that for?
I need to keep the line clear.
Well, I'm calling her upstairs.
- Oh, no, you're not. - Yes, I am.
- Oh, no, you're not. - Who put you in charge?
I did. I am Carlton. You are not..
[sighs] I'll talk to you later on, Uncle Phil.
You know, Will..
My first job was in a law clerk's office.
It was the summer of my freshman year in college
and I thought I was..
[chuckles]
All that.
[chuckles]
Anyway, I spent most of my days
uh, making coffee and copying legal documents.
And that was before Xerox machines.
[chuckles] Dag.
Who was your boss? Mr. Slate?
[laughs]
He was on The Flintstones.
Go ahead, uncle.
Well, the point is
one day I decided to take some initiative
and, and make myself more important to them.
You know, it worked.
- Hm. Initiative, huh? - 'Yeah.'
- Your sandwich, sir. - Oh, thank you, Geoffrey.
[chuckles softly]
- What is this? - Tofu and rice cakes.
I tried to warn you. Mrs. Banks has run amuck.
Geoffrey. Geoffrey, now, if you'll go to my office
and look in my desk..
Gone, sir.
- My pimento loaf? - I'm afraid so, sir.
But I still have some bologna in the..
She got that too, sir.
Man, Aunt Viv got skills.
Hey, look, Uncle Phil, what do you say
we slide down to Mickey D's before she clean them out too.
- Initiative. - Yes, sir.
Yes!
[instrumental music]
So do you think that you could render an impartial verdict
in accordance with the law?
Oh, I know I can. I must.
I've been ordered to.
Ordered?
By whom?
Alex Trebek.
I'd like to thank our guest, Mitchell Conklin
for sharing his heartbreaking story of a life with no friends.
Well, Mr. Mitchell Conklin
I'm your friend.
Come back tomorrow for more of me. Hilary.
[applauding]
And we're out.
I'd just like to thank you for..
Not now.
Great show.
[Hilary sneezes]
Ew! Could somebody please get me a Kleenex?
Oh, look at me. I'm getting all puffy.
Werner, what am I gonna do?
- Well, I.. - It's done, Hil.
I just, I just went and I got her some medicine.
You know, I took a little initiative.
Initiative. I like that.
You know, thinking ahead will get you ahead.
Little story. When I started off..
Hello? Aren't I the patient?
Shouldn't I be getting all the attention?
Will, why don't you go help Hilary relax?
Oh, yes, sir.
Oh, hey, I just wanted tell you.
I'm really starting to feel like part of the team around here.
[chuckles] Don't ever touch me.
Just gotta learn the rules, man. Just gotta learn the rules.
Mr. Jackson, why do you think you'd make a good juror?
Because I could always tell if someone was guilty
just by looking at them.
Sir, even I can't tell by looking.
And they let you be a judge.
My brain is all clouded.
My head's all fogged up.
And I can't think straight.
And now you've got a cold on top of it.
- Will, just fix it. - Oh.
Here you go, Catwoman.
[sneezes]
See? You getting better already.
- Soy meatloaf, madam? - Yes, Geoffrey.
I am through serving that fat-filled
cholesterol-ridden mess.
Say what you will, but he is a good provider.
I knew that's why they didn't call.
- Geoffrey, I told you no calls. - Master Carlton, I was just..
Damn you and your excuses.
Sit down and relax.
You're right.
Geoffrey, I'm sorry.
[telephone ringing]
Touch that and you'll be on the first thing
smoking back to London.
[high-pitched voice] Carlton Banks' office. Please hold.
[normal voice] Carlton Banks here.
Oh, hi, dad.
I thought it was someone important.
But I can't. I-I'm waiting on a phone..
Fine.
Is everything okay?
Dad's still interviewing jurors.
I've gotta go to Ashley's school and tell her he can't make it.
Look, if anyone calls just give them my cell phone number.
Thanks.
- Keep the lines clear. - Certainly, Master Carlton.
Whoops.
Hey. Yo, Hil, Mr. Stimple's here to..
Well, what do you know?
It's Uncle Cousin Will.
[Hilary chuckles]
Oh, I feel much better.
That was some good tea.
I love you.
Uh, Hil, Hil, Hil. Hey, come here. Come here. Come here.
Come here. Come here. Wait right here.
[Hilary groans]
[screams]
"Use only before bedtime.
Do not operate heavy machinery."
Good thing we're not on a tractor, huh?
[chuckles]
[screams]
[instrumental music]
[screams]
[laughs]
Hilary. Hilary. Come here. Come here. Come here.
[chokes]
Now, Hilary, you gotta get
yourself together for your sponsor.
- Oh, Mr. Pimple? Bring him in. - No. It's Mr. Stimple.
Bring him in too. The more the merrier.
Oh, but we're gonna need some more tea.
Oh, no. Ah, ah, ah.
I think you missed the last call, baby.
Come on, walk it off. Walk it off.
♪ I'm a little teapot ♪♪
Hilary!
Now breathe, breathe.
[Hilary panting]
Get up! You are not trying here, young lady.
[crying]
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Come on. Come on.
Walk it off. Walk it off.
Oh, Will. You're tickling me. Stop.
[knocking on door]
Werner is wondering what's taking so long.
Candace, hi.
Have you met my cousin, Will?
Isn't he cute?
Uh, uh..
She-she had too much medicine.
[chuckles] Yeah, right.
Wait. Hey. Hey. Wait. Wait a minute.
Now listen, you go down there
and you stall Werner and Mr. Stimple. Alright?
- I'm gonna take care of Hilary. - Okay. But wait a minute..
Alright, alright..
Hilary.
Hilary go night-night.
[instrumental music]
I can't believe this is happening. Dad promised.
Buck up, Ashley. Life is filled with disappointments.
I am the only person who doesn't have a speaker.
I'm gonna look like an idiot.
Once again, Carlton Banks to the rescue.
When do I go on?
No. No. Carlton, it's Career Day.
You don't even have a job.
Fine. But, if you don't want the next junior executive
at the California International Bank..
Okay. Okay. Fine. I'll go tell them to introduce you.
[cell phone rings]
[high-pitched voice] Carlton Banks' office. Please hold.
[normal voice] Carlton Banks here.
Oh, yes. The job, of course.
Uh-huh.
Yes.
Huh?
But I don't understand.
You can't give a guy the wink and the gun
and then not give him a job.
Buck up? Buck off.
(female #1) Our next speaker is Ashley's brother, Mr. Carlton Banks.
[audience applauding]
And here is where we hide our star.
Hey!
How you doing?
You must be Mr. Stimple. How you doing?
I'm Hilary's hair designer, Diante.
Pleasure.
Oh, why didn't you tell me he had such lustrous hairs?
Oh, excuse me. I'm right in the middle doing girlfriend's hair.
She is so excited to meet you. Just later.
Well, I'd kind of like to meet her now.
Uh, Hilary, I've never seen the program.
Do you stand there and interview a guest
or do you run all around like Donahue?
Oh, listen. Hilary can do it all.
You know, she can stand. She can run.
You know, she's like Ricki Lake
and Oprah and Donahue all wrapped up in one.
Around here we call her Ricki-Oprah-Hue.
Very clever word play
but I'd like to hear what Hilary has to say.
Oh, see, she like real shy.
You know, she can't really verbalize with you
till she gets to know you.
You know what I mean?
Of course. Where's my head?
Hi, Fred Stimple. Stimple Rubber. Pleasure.
Oh, no, you don't. Honey, it took me an hour to do the nails.
You a Leo, ain't you?
And in conclusion, if you follow these steps
as I have outlined then I guarantee you'll be successful.
[applauding]
Thank you.
You still haven't told us what you do.
Well, I-I was previously
in expeditious comestible management.
And, um, currently
I'm overseeing a myriad of options.
Do you even have a job?
Well, strictly speaking, I..
He's a bum just like my Uncle Eddie.
[laughing]
Excuse me, sir. Are you really a bum?
Back off, sister.
You got an attitude problem.
Damn right I've got attitude.
Just wait till you grow up.
You'll see how tough it is.
There are sharks out there
and you're all little guppies waiting to be devoured.
Oh, sure, you can lie back in your protective little womb
called high school and pretend the world is your oyster.
But one day it's gonna turn on you like the rotting milk
in your stinking little lunchboxes.
Thank you.
You know, with a touch of henna and a kiss of ash blond
you're gonna need yourself a beeper, girl.
Diante, you're a very unusual man, but I grow tired.
- Who are you? - Aah!
Who am I? I'm Mr. Stimple. Stimple Rubber.
Oh, my God. Mr. Stimple.
- Will.. - Will?
- I thought you were Diante? - Diante?
There's a perfectly good explanation for all of this.
Save it. This has been, uh, different.
Excuse me, Mr. Stimple. Um, I'm sorry.
Uh, M-Mr. Stimple.
Um, look, my name is not Diante.
My name is Will. I'm Hilary's cousin.
Now look, this is-this all quite simple, Mr. Stimple.
I'm sorry. Um, listen.
Look, my uncle told me I should take some initiative, right?
So I got night-time-so-you could-sleep instead of
daytime-so-you-could think medicine, right?
Man, how is she supposed to drive a tractor? You know.
So I said, "Aah!" And, you know she said "Aah!"
You-you-you know what I'm saying?
- You're Hilary's cousin? - Exactly.
This is the worst day of my life, Mr. Stimple.
- I'm so sorry. - No need to apologize.
Believe me, I know all about nepotism.
I got a factory full of idiot nephews
and worthless brother-in-laws.
The way I see it, with only one moronic cousin running around
you're way ahead of the game.
[both laugh]
[Will laughing]
He said, "Moronic cousin."
Hey. Ho-ho-hold up, man.
[instrumental music]
Fine. I understand your having to work.
I even understand you missing Career Day.
But what I don't understand is
how you could possibly send Carlton.
I mean, you could've sent mom. You could've sent Geoffrey.
You could've even sent the pool guy.
He answered the phone?
I understand you taking the initiative.
I even understand you giving me the tea.
But what I don't understand is how this happened?
Uh, see, well, you bobbed when you should've weaved.
- Sorry. - Sorry.
Dinner is served.
- I'm sick. - I'm sick.
Hold on. Hold on. Hold on!
- Now, we have to do this. - Oh, sure.
Now our responsibilities kick in.
[instrumental music]
(Vivian) 'Look at you.'
'I can't believe you're acting like this.'
All I'm trying to do is look out for everybody here.
Honey, don't you wanna live longer?
Don't you wanna feel better?
Last one to Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles ain't eating.
[instrumental music]
I understand there were other applicants.
I even understand I was too young for the job.
But what I don't understand
is they gave me the wink and the gun.
They gave me the wink and the gun.
Buck up, pal.
[instrumental music]
[theme music]
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Yeah ♪♪