1 00:00:00,837 --> 00:00:02,853 [indistinct chatter] 2 00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:07,659 (Will) Excuse me. 3 00:00:07,678 --> 00:00:10,687 Girl, I hope these Greek clowns clean up after themselves. 4 00:00:10,707 --> 00:00:12,804 A bunch of messy, inconsiderate children. 5 00:00:12,825 --> 00:00:14,771 So, which house are you joinin'? 6 00:00:14,790 --> 00:00:16,766 Hey, girl, you know, I ain't into that frat stuff. 7 00:00:16,787 --> 00:00:18,833 It's for a bunch of pocket-protector-wearing 8 00:00:18,854 --> 00:00:20,950 and no-social-life-havin' losers. 9 00:00:21,913 --> 00:00:24,712 Let the pledging begin. 10 00:00:25,804 --> 00:00:28,011 The defense rests, Your Honor. 11 00:00:28,734 --> 00:00:30,821 Carlton, Will think fraternities are a waste of time. 12 00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:31,863 Maybe for him 13 00:00:31,883 --> 00:00:33,799 but the more activities I'm involved in 14 00:00:33,819 --> 00:00:34,942 the better I'll look to Princeton. 15 00:00:34,962 --> 00:00:37,781 Besides, these guys know how to have fun. 16 00:00:37,801 --> 00:00:39,045 ♪ We're Delta Kappa Tau ♪ 17 00:00:39,767 --> 00:00:40,861 ♪ We'd like to take a bow ♪ 18 00:00:40,881 --> 00:00:41,944 ♪ We got the highest grades ♪ 19 00:00:41,965 --> 00:00:43,831 ♪ And we will tell you how ♪ 20 00:00:43,850 --> 00:00:46,779 ♪ We study study study for professional careers ♪ 21 00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:47,843 ♪ We drink a lot of Ovaltine ♪ 22 00:00:47,862 --> 00:00:49,006 ♪ But never any beers ♪ 23 00:00:49,890 --> 00:00:50,913 Ow. 24 00:00:52,006 --> 00:00:54,825 "Revenge of the Nerds, Part Six." 25 00:00:54,844 --> 00:00:57,924 ♪ We're Lambda Kappa Nu ♪ 26 00:00:57,945 --> 00:01:00,101 ♪ Our blood is very blue ♪ 27 00:01:00,824 --> 00:01:03,081 ♪ Our money's old our cards are gold ♪ 28 00:01:03,101 --> 00:01:06,953 ♪ And who the heck are you? ♪ 29 00:01:06,972 --> 00:01:10,091 Where's, like, a big gong when you need one, you know? 30 00:01:10,112 --> 00:01:12,008 [blows whistle] 31 00:01:12,028 --> 00:01:13,102 Ah-ooh! 32 00:01:13,122 --> 00:01:16,933 Make way for the brothers of Phi Beta Gamma. 33 00:01:16,952 --> 00:01:18,156 ♪ Phi Beta Gamma step ♪ 34 00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:20,996 ♪ Black ♪ 35 00:01:21,015 --> 00:01:22,098 ♪ Gold ♪ 36 00:01:22,119 --> 00:01:23,945 ♪ Black ♪ 37 00:01:23,964 --> 00:01:25,007 ♪ Gold ♪♪ 38 00:01:28,158 --> 00:01:30,074 (all) Ah, ah. 39 00:01:31,136 --> 00:01:32,160 Ah. 40 00:01:32,180 --> 00:01:34,096 Ah-hoo. Ah-hoo. 41 00:01:34,116 --> 00:01:37,095 Ah-hoo. Ah-hoo. Ah-hoo. Ah-hoo. 42 00:01:37,116 --> 00:01:39,112 Ah-hoo. Ah-hoo. 43 00:01:40,014 --> 00:01:43,956 Ooh-hoo! Man! 44 00:01:43,977 --> 00:01:46,014 Hey, I guess that's a tough choice, huh, Carlton? 45 00:01:46,033 --> 00:01:47,056 I'll say. 46 00:01:48,009 --> 00:01:49,192 Can I hear yours again? 47 00:01:50,126 --> 00:01:52,082 [theme song] 48 00:01:52,102 --> 00:01:54,089 ♪ Now this is a story all about ♪ 49 00:01:54,109 --> 00:01:56,275 ♪ How my life got flipped turned upside down ♪ 50 00:01:56,998 --> 00:01:59,074 ♪ And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there ♪ 51 00:01:59,094 --> 00:02:00,137 ♪ I'll tell you how I became the prince ♪ 52 00:02:00,157 --> 00:02:02,073 ♪ Of a town called Bel-Air ♪ 53 00:02:02,092 --> 00:02:05,142 [instrumental music] 54 00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:13,257 ♪ In West Philadelphia born and raised ♪ 55 00:02:13,277 --> 00:02:16,176 ♪ On the playground is where I spent most of my days ♪ 56 00:02:16,196 --> 00:02:18,182 ♪ Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool ♪ 57 00:02:18,202 --> 00:02:20,339 ♪ And all shootin' some b-ball outside of the school ♪ 58 00:02:20,359 --> 00:02:23,238 ♪ When a couple of guys who were up to no good ♪ 59 00:02:23,259 --> 00:02:25,215 ♪ Started makin' trouble in my neighborhood ♪ 60 00:02:25,235 --> 00:02:28,154 ♪ I got in one little fight and my mom got scared and said ♪ 61 00:02:28,173 --> 00:02:30,280 ♪ You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air ♪ 62 00:02:30,300 --> 00:02:32,286 ♪ I whistled for a cab and when it came near ♪ 63 00:02:32,306 --> 00:02:35,205 ♪ The license plate said Fresh and it had dice in the mirror ♪ 64 00:02:35,226 --> 00:02:37,242 ♪ If anything I can say that this cab was rare ♪ 65 00:02:37,261 --> 00:02:41,254 ♪ But I thought nah forget it yo homes to Bel-Air ♪ 66 00:02:41,274 --> 00:02:44,303 ♪ I pulled up to the house about seven or eight ♪ 67 00:02:44,324 --> 00:02:47,273 ♪ And I yelled to the cabby yo homes smell you later ♪ 68 00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:49,309 ♪ I looked at my kingdom I was finally there ♪ 69 00:02:49,330 --> 00:02:52,168 ♪ To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel-Air ♪ 70 00:02:52,188 --> 00:02:55,228 [music continues] 71 00:02:59,410 --> 00:03:01,426 Well, my gold card has a hologram 72 00:03:01,447 --> 00:03:03,453 of Lee Iacocca on it. 73 00:03:05,368 --> 00:03:06,401 Excuse us, guys. 74 00:03:06,423 --> 00:03:08,419 It's time for a negro moment. 75 00:03:10,424 --> 00:03:13,353 Um, Carlton, wouldn't you rather join a fraternity 76 00:03:13,373 --> 00:03:15,480 where the guys look more like you? 77 00:03:15,500 --> 00:03:17,265 [scoffs] I was. 78 00:03:17,285 --> 00:03:19,472 Didn't you notice we all had Alligator shirts on? 79 00:03:22,282 --> 00:03:24,468 - What up, Philly boy? - What's up, man? 80 00:03:24,488 --> 00:03:26,484 I haven't seen you down at the courts lately. 81 00:03:26,504 --> 00:03:28,329 I miss our one-on-one. 82 00:03:28,349 --> 00:03:30,436 Oh, now, Top Dog, you know when it's me against you 83 00:03:30,457 --> 00:03:32,373 it's one-on-none. 84 00:03:32,392 --> 00:03:33,536 Hey, yo, well, I can't play on them tired courts 85 00:03:33,556 --> 00:03:35,361 y'all be playing on, man. 86 00:03:35,381 --> 00:03:36,585 Hey, you haven't been down there in a while, man. 87 00:03:37,308 --> 00:03:38,502 Me and frat brothers, we raised some money 88 00:03:38,522 --> 00:03:40,548 and we hooked them rims upproper. 89 00:03:40,568 --> 00:03:42,434 Oh, you're in a fraternity? 90 00:03:42,453 --> 00:03:43,537 And yeah, I thought you had a life. 91 00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:46,365 Hey, man, I run the fraternity. 92 00:03:46,386 --> 00:03:47,500 Hey, why don't you check us out? 93 00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:50,509 Uh, nah, man. Fraternities ain't my flavor. 94 00:03:51,481 --> 00:03:53,477 See you at the frat tonight. 95 00:03:56,578 --> 00:03:58,504 But I will have a double scoop of that, though. 96 00:03:58,524 --> 00:04:00,440 - Good God. - Hey, hey. 97 00:04:00,460 --> 00:04:02,496 Hey, hey, hey, we also do a lot of work 98 00:04:02,515 --> 00:04:03,589 for the community, brother. 99 00:04:03,609 --> 00:04:05,495 Like, visit down at the senior center. 100 00:04:05,516 --> 00:04:08,455 And we also tutor kids down at the juvenile hall. 101 00:04:08,474 --> 00:04:09,577 Oh, terrific. 102 00:04:09,597 --> 00:04:10,671 Oh, the Princeton people love to see 103 00:04:10,692 --> 00:04:12,708 community service on applications. 104 00:04:13,429 --> 00:04:15,546 Oh, I wouldn't really have to go down to juvenile hall, would I? 105 00:04:15,566 --> 00:04:18,535 I hear those kids are real troublemakers. 106 00:04:18,556 --> 00:04:19,659 [laughing] 107 00:04:19,679 --> 00:04:21,646 We need a little humor down at the frat house. 108 00:04:21,666 --> 00:04:24,615 Well, don't get no littler than Cousin Carlton. 109 00:04:25,667 --> 00:04:27,613 What's up, Carlton? Top Dog. 110 00:04:31,767 --> 00:04:33,713 Think about it, Philly boy. 111 00:04:33,733 --> 00:04:35,549 You, too, cousin. 112 00:04:35,569 --> 00:04:37,486 Us brothers need to stick together. 113 00:04:37,505 --> 00:04:38,553 Yes, sir. 114 00:04:39,572 --> 00:04:41,598 [instrumental music] 115 00:04:43,464 --> 00:04:44,632 (woman on TV) 'Twenty six years of marriage' 116 00:04:44,651 --> 00:04:46,736 'and I find you in bed with a cheerleader.' 117 00:04:47,456 --> 00:04:49,522 'Laslow, how could you?' 118 00:04:51,647 --> 00:04:55,699 (man on TV) 'Tune in tomorrow for another episode of"All My Fault."' 119 00:04:58,474 --> 00:04:59,602 What a sleaze. 120 00:04:59,621 --> 00:05:01,707 I hope Mary dumps Laslow's sorry butt. 121 00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:03,644 Me, too, you think she would've learned 122 00:05:03,664 --> 00:05:06,688 after he lied about neutering the cat. 123 00:05:06,708 --> 00:05:09,642 She really hasn't been the same since she had that sex change. 124 00:05:09,662 --> 00:05:11,489 Yeah, I guess you're right about that. 125 00:05:11,509 --> 00:05:13,425 Listen to yourselves. 126 00:05:13,445 --> 00:05:15,670 You're caught up in the lives of make-believe characters. 127 00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:18,475 Tell you what, mom, I'll watch the baby. 128 00:05:18,495 --> 00:05:19,673 Go to a museum, and, uh.. 129 00:05:20,391 --> 00:05:21,569 ...take Hilary with you. 130 00:05:21,588 --> 00:05:24,472 Ashley, the only reason we get involved in this kind of stuff 131 00:05:24,493 --> 00:05:27,557 is that real life sometimes is kind of boring. 132 00:05:28,514 --> 00:05:31,518 [engine revving] 133 00:05:33,375 --> 00:05:34,433 What's that? 134 00:05:34,454 --> 00:05:36,549 Harley-Davidson '58 panhead. 135 00:05:39,562 --> 00:05:41,419 I used to date a biker. 136 00:05:43,586 --> 00:05:44,624 (Philip) Whoo! 137 00:05:45,342 --> 00:05:47,478 Was that a ride, or was that a ride? 138 00:05:47,497 --> 00:05:51,439 Great. Maybe next time we can actually hit second gear. 139 00:05:53,485 --> 00:05:54,553 Philip, what's goin' on? 140 00:05:54,574 --> 00:05:56,450 What does it look like, Vivian? 141 00:05:56,469 --> 00:05:58,405 Well, it looks like a bunch of middle-aged men 142 00:05:58,426 --> 00:06:00,313 with too much time on their hand. 143 00:06:00,332 --> 00:06:02,547 Hey, we're bikers. 144 00:06:02,567 --> 00:06:05,501 Dan...you're an accountant. 145 00:06:06,520 --> 00:06:09,574 Uh, got a moment...Fonzie? 146 00:06:16,430 --> 00:06:17,558 Are you crazy? 147 00:06:18,277 --> 00:06:20,523 I told you I was going to buy a bike someday, Vivian. 148 00:06:20,542 --> 00:06:23,416 You also told me you were going to lose 50 pounds. 149 00:06:24,394 --> 00:06:26,301 A motorbike is so dangerous. 150 00:06:26,321 --> 00:06:27,539 Well, just look at it this way, sweetheart. 151 00:06:28,258 --> 00:06:31,252 If I take a fall, I have a 50-pound cushion. 152 00:06:33,467 --> 00:06:37,330 Honey, you've also got an infant son who needs you.. 153 00:06:37,350 --> 00:06:38,488 ...in one piece. 154 00:06:38,507 --> 00:06:42,339 I don't see Dan's wife giving him any heat over this. 155 00:06:42,359 --> 00:06:43,497 From what Helen tells me she ain't giving him 156 00:06:43,518 --> 00:06:45,454 any heat anywhere else either. 157 00:06:46,452 --> 00:06:49,446 Oh, you women discuss that? 158 00:06:51,281 --> 00:06:53,427 You'd be surprised what we talk about. 159 00:06:53,448 --> 00:06:55,354 Honey, be reasonable. 160 00:06:55,374 --> 00:06:58,358 Get off the midlife crisis highway and come home. 161 00:06:58,378 --> 00:07:01,432 Oh, yeah, I can't wait to see your first hot flash. 162 00:07:05,374 --> 00:07:07,230 Yo, Uncle Phil, what's up with the bike? 163 00:07:07,250 --> 00:07:10,234 Look, I bought me a motorcycle, it was my decision 164 00:07:10,254 --> 00:07:12,430 and I don't want to hear anymore about it. 165 00:07:12,450 --> 00:07:16,332 Must be that midlife crisis thing Aunt Viv warned us about. 166 00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:19,366 So, uh.. 167 00:07:19,387 --> 00:07:21,303 - How are things at school? - Great. 168 00:07:21,323 --> 00:07:24,148 Oh, dad, I'm thinking of pledging Phi Beta Gamma. 169 00:07:24,167 --> 00:07:25,364 Oh, Judge Morton is a Gamma. 170 00:07:25,385 --> 00:07:27,272 And he's also an alcoholic. 171 00:07:28,279 --> 00:07:30,315 No. That's Judge Martin. 172 00:07:31,333 --> 00:07:33,239 Yeah, so, that's great, son. 173 00:07:33,259 --> 00:07:35,335 You're a real college man now, huh? 174 00:07:35,356 --> 00:07:37,122 Thanks, dad. 175 00:07:37,141 --> 00:07:39,207 Well, I think I'm going to go take my nap. 176 00:07:43,299 --> 00:07:46,323 So, I take it you're not pledging. 177 00:07:46,344 --> 00:07:47,382 Oh, nah, you know, Uncle Phil 178 00:07:48,110 --> 00:07:49,377 I got a reputation more as a free spirit. 179 00:07:50,097 --> 00:07:52,113 Mm. Well, you know, Will, I wouldn't sell 180 00:07:52,133 --> 00:07:53,161 fraternity life short, you know. 181 00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:54,298 Might get something out of it. 182 00:07:54,318 --> 00:07:56,155 That's true, you know, they do a lot of work 183 00:07:56,175 --> 00:07:57,372 in the community and stuff like that. 184 00:07:58,090 --> 00:08:01,114 The Gammas are a good group. Why don't you give it a shot? 185 00:08:01,135 --> 00:08:02,203 Well, the frat leader does need 186 00:08:02,222 --> 00:08:03,350 a little help with his jumping, you know 187 00:08:04,069 --> 00:08:06,155 maybe I'll join as like a mercy thing, you know. 188 00:08:06,175 --> 00:08:09,289 That's great. So, hop on. I'll take you for a ride. 189 00:08:09,309 --> 00:08:11,085 Oh, that's cool. 190 00:08:12,213 --> 00:08:14,109 Oh, but you better not try none of that 191 00:08:14,128 --> 00:08:16,065 run-out-of-gas stuff, mister. 192 00:08:16,086 --> 00:08:18,102 [instrumental music] 193 00:08:22,084 --> 00:08:24,120 (Orlando) Pledges. 194 00:08:24,140 --> 00:08:27,104 On behalf of the brothers of Phi Beta Gamma 195 00:08:27,124 --> 00:08:28,252 I welcome you. 196 00:08:28,272 --> 00:08:30,218 The journey begins. 197 00:08:30,238 --> 00:08:33,212 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just relax, Magellan. 198 00:08:33,232 --> 00:08:35,128 Alright, at this time, I'd like to turn it over 199 00:08:35,147 --> 00:08:38,101 to big brother Top Dog, your pledge leader. 200 00:08:38,122 --> 00:08:40,268 Attention! Busters. 201 00:08:42,104 --> 00:08:45,208 I hope you like your new uniforms. 202 00:08:45,228 --> 00:08:49,021 You will be wearing them for a week. 203 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:51,016 Um, excuse me, Mr. Top Dog, sir. 204 00:08:51,036 --> 00:08:54,259 Pledge Banks, you onlyspeak when you arespokento. 205 00:08:54,978 --> 00:08:57,164 Well, are you speaking to me now, or are you.. 206 00:08:58,193 --> 00:08:59,969 Shh. 207 00:08:59,988 --> 00:09:01,994 Oh, I'm sorry, Will, but I think everyone here will agree 208 00:09:02,014 --> 00:09:05,138 that wearing the same thing for a week is not good hygiene. 209 00:09:05,159 --> 00:09:07,005 Right, fellas? 210 00:09:09,989 --> 00:09:12,973 So Pledge Banks likes to wash clothes. 211 00:09:12,993 --> 00:09:15,158 Actually, my butler handles the laundry. 212 00:09:16,955 --> 00:09:18,013 Your butler? 213 00:09:18,034 --> 00:09:21,187 Yes. Geoffrey. He's a whiz with my fine washables. 214 00:09:21,206 --> 00:09:22,933 [chuckles] 215 00:09:25,059 --> 00:09:28,013 Pledge Banks, where are you from? 216 00:09:28,033 --> 00:09:29,065 Bel-Air. 217 00:09:29,085 --> 00:09:31,078 Uh, South Central Bel-Air. 218 00:09:33,202 --> 00:09:37,970 I live right across the street from the Aaron Spelling Mansion. 219 00:09:37,991 --> 00:09:41,036 You know, the producer of "Beverly Hills, 90210." 220 00:09:41,987 --> 00:09:43,069 I don't watch it. 221 00:09:43,089 --> 00:09:44,201 Oh, you don't know what you're missing. 222 00:09:44,221 --> 00:09:47,026 Dylan's on the verge of getting back with Brenda. 223 00:09:51,203 --> 00:09:55,059 And you are on the verge of making a fool out of yourself. 224 00:09:55,079 --> 00:09:57,023 They really getting back together, though? 225 00:10:00,228 --> 00:10:04,025 It looks like to me our floor needs a little scrub. 226 00:10:04,046 --> 00:10:07,041 And a wax and a polish too, I might add. Heh. 227 00:10:07,061 --> 00:10:09,094 That's a good idea, Pledge Banks. 228 00:10:09,113 --> 00:10:11,037 Pledges, get busy. 229 00:10:11,058 --> 00:10:14,103 And you can thank Pledge Banks for doubling your work load. 230 00:10:14,122 --> 00:10:17,077 Uh, no need to thank him all at once, fellas, you know. 231 00:10:20,193 --> 00:10:22,046 What's up with that fool? 232 00:10:22,066 --> 00:10:23,279 - Who? -Who? 233 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:27,035 Will's cousin, the brother from another planet. 234 00:10:28,156 --> 00:10:30,169 Come on, now, Dog. You hardly know the guy. 235 00:10:30,189 --> 00:10:32,113 I know all I need to know. 236 00:10:32,134 --> 00:10:35,029 I'm going to teach him the true meaning of "Hell week." 237 00:10:35,048 --> 00:10:38,073 [instrumental music] 238 00:10:43,192 --> 00:10:45,085 [instrumental music] 239 00:10:46,228 --> 00:10:49,133 Hello, you poor excuses for pledges. 240 00:10:49,153 --> 00:10:52,268 (all) Greetings, big brother Top Dog of Phi Beta Gamma. 241 00:10:52,288 --> 00:10:55,143 Today we're splitting up into groups. 242 00:10:55,163 --> 00:10:59,280 I'm taking Philly boy and Money Bags to block. 243 00:10:59,300 --> 00:11:01,354 Hey, we're going to play Hollywood squares. 244 00:11:03,326 --> 00:11:07,123 [Lee Dorsey singing "Workin' In The Coal Mine"] 245 00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:20,335 ♪ Workin' in the coal mine goin' down down down ♪ 246 00:11:20,355 --> 00:11:24,152 ♪ Workin' in a coal mine oops about to slip down ♪ 247 00:11:24,173 --> 00:11:27,258 ♪ Workin' in a coal mine goin' down down down ♪ 248 00:11:27,277 --> 00:11:31,254 ♪ Workin' in a coal mine oops about to slip down ♪ 249 00:11:31,274 --> 00:11:34,189 ♪ Five o'clock in the mornin' ♪ 250 00:11:34,210 --> 00:11:38,167 ♪ I'm already up and gone ♪ 251 00:11:38,186 --> 00:11:41,241 ♪ Lord I'm so tired ♪ 252 00:11:41,261 --> 00:11:44,166 ♪ How long can this go on? ♪ 253 00:11:44,186 --> 00:11:47,381 ♪ Daddy workin' in the coal mine goin' down down down ♪ 254 00:11:47,402 --> 00:11:51,178 ♪ Workin' in a coal mine oops about to slip down ♪ 255 00:11:51,198 --> 00:11:54,303 ♪ Workin' in a coal mine goin' down down down ♪ 256 00:11:54,323 --> 00:11:58,310 ♪ Workin' in a coal mine oops about to slip down ♪ 257 00:11:58,330 --> 00:12:01,446 ♪ 'Course I make a little money ♪ 258 00:12:02,168 --> 00:12:04,231 ♪ Haulin' coal by the ton ♪ 259 00:12:04,251 --> 00:12:07,437 ♪ But when Saturday rolls around ♪ 260 00:12:07,456 --> 00:12:10,361 ♪ I'm too tired for havin' fun.. ♪♪ 261 00:12:15,460 --> 00:12:18,204 Hey, Carlton.. 262 00:12:18,224 --> 00:12:20,198 ...do you realize that they're working 263 00:12:20,218 --> 00:12:21,310 you harder than everybody else? 264 00:12:21,330 --> 00:12:22,441 Oh, nonsense. 265 00:12:22,462 --> 00:12:26,278 Everyone had to help re-tar the parking lot. 266 00:12:26,299 --> 00:12:30,276 Yeah, but the rest of us got to wear shoes. 267 00:12:30,296 --> 00:12:32,229 Well, it'll all be worth it when I hear them 268 00:12:32,248 --> 00:12:33,400 call me "Brother." 269 00:12:36,355 --> 00:12:37,467 Ah.. 270 00:12:42,366 --> 00:12:44,379 I gotta tell you, Top Dog, I don't like what you're doing 271 00:12:44,399 --> 00:12:46,302 with Brother Banks. 272 00:12:46,323 --> 00:12:47,475 I didn't ask you. 273 00:12:52,464 --> 00:12:55,459 (woman on TV) 'Laslow, how could you?' 274 00:12:55,479 --> 00:12:58,434 (man on TV) 'Mary, I couldn't help myself.' 275 00:12:58,454 --> 00:13:02,301 Well, Ashley, the museum closed? 276 00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:05,425 I had no idea how much Mary was suffering. 277 00:13:07,449 --> 00:13:09,382 Damn that Laslow. 278 00:13:10,535 --> 00:13:13,390 Ashley, he doesn't know how much his actions 279 00:13:13,410 --> 00:13:15,353 are hurting the people who love him. 280 00:13:15,373 --> 00:13:17,447 That's because he's selfish and self-centered. 281 00:13:17,466 --> 00:13:20,351 I see your mother's been poisoning your minds. 282 00:13:23,397 --> 00:13:25,520 'Vivian.' 283 00:13:25,540 --> 00:13:28,375 Look, I've, uh, come to my senses. 284 00:13:28,395 --> 00:13:29,607 The bike is gone. 285 00:13:30,328 --> 00:13:31,560 - It is? - Yes, sweetheart. 286 00:13:31,580 --> 00:13:34,415 I mean, motorcycles and black leather will never make me 287 00:13:34,436 --> 00:13:37,411 feel as young as the love of a good woman. 288 00:13:39,334 --> 00:13:42,600 With you by my side, I will never grow old. 289 00:13:43,571 --> 00:13:45,455 I love you. 290 00:13:51,384 --> 00:13:53,577 Oh, sir, the body shop called. 291 00:13:53,599 --> 00:13:56,493 They said your motorcycle is completely totaled. 292 00:13:56,512 --> 00:13:57,594 Thank you, Geoffrey. 293 00:13:57,615 --> 00:14:00,440 Oh, and the insurance company 294 00:14:00,460 --> 00:14:04,577 said you're covered for the damages to the ice cream truck 295 00:14:04,597 --> 00:14:08,454 but have to pay for that box of Eskimo Pies you ate. 296 00:14:09,675 --> 00:14:11,668 I said,thank you,Geoffrey. 297 00:14:12,391 --> 00:14:14,534 My pleasure, sir. Would there be anything else? 298 00:14:14,553 --> 00:14:16,527 My favorite soap is about to start. 299 00:14:16,547 --> 00:14:19,412 What would that be? "One life to ruin?" 300 00:14:19,432 --> 00:14:20,644 [chuckles] 301 00:14:20,664 --> 00:14:22,447 Sir.. 302 00:14:26,684 --> 00:14:28,497 W-well, if I told you the truth 303 00:14:28,518 --> 00:14:29,680 you would've said "I told you so." 304 00:14:30,591 --> 00:14:32,424 Try me. 305 00:14:32,444 --> 00:14:33,566 Okay, well...uh.. 306 00:14:33,586 --> 00:14:35,589 I-I accidentally left the bike in gear 307 00:14:35,609 --> 00:14:38,464 and-and it ran into a Mr. Icy pop truck. 308 00:14:39,547 --> 00:14:40,589 I knew that bike was dangerous. 309 00:14:40,608 --> 00:14:41,600 See? T-that's an "I told you so." 310 00:14:41,620 --> 00:14:43,513 - It is not. - Is too. 311 00:14:43,534 --> 00:14:45,497 Philip, what do you want from me? 312 00:14:45,517 --> 00:14:46,729 I don't know. 313 00:14:47,451 --> 00:14:48,523 A kiss? 314 00:14:50,576 --> 00:14:52,720 I broke my bike. 315 00:14:54,663 --> 00:14:57,678 [upbeat music] 316 00:15:04,489 --> 00:15:06,683 Ooh. Here I go. 317 00:15:06,704 --> 00:15:09,559 Ladies, let the games begin. 318 00:15:09,579 --> 00:15:10,741 Will, don't you think it's cruel for them 319 00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:13,755 to have a party before they tell us whether we're in or not? 320 00:15:13,775 --> 00:15:15,708 Well, of course, it's cruel, Carlton. 321 00:15:15,729 --> 00:15:16,791 But look on the bright side 322 00:15:17,511 --> 00:15:19,575 next year we get to do it to somebody else. 323 00:15:19,596 --> 00:15:21,569 You really think we made it? 324 00:15:21,589 --> 00:15:22,761 Hey, look, man, whether we did or not 325 00:15:22,780 --> 00:15:26,577 you hung in there, and I'm proud of you. 326 00:15:26,598 --> 00:15:28,741 You're proud of me? You've never said that to me 327 00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:30,564 before in my life. 328 00:15:30,755 --> 00:15:32,598 Give me a hug. 329 00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:35,553 You see, man? That is exactly why 330 00:15:35,572 --> 00:15:36,764 I never tell you nothing. 331 00:15:42,795 --> 00:15:44,729 Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. 332 00:15:48,766 --> 00:15:49,847 Mmm. 333 00:15:53,674 --> 00:15:56,699 Girl, if God made anything prettier than you 334 00:15:56,718 --> 00:15:58,672 I hope he kept it for himself. 335 00:16:00,576 --> 00:16:01,678 Okay. 336 00:16:03,870 --> 00:16:07,757 Yo, Dog, did you see baby? Yo, she was fine. 337 00:16:07,778 --> 00:16:10,803 Yeah, that's just the tip of the iceberg, my brother. 338 00:16:10,823 --> 00:16:12,787 Well, then mush, you huskies. 339 00:16:12,807 --> 00:16:14,680 [laughs] 340 00:16:14,700 --> 00:16:15,845 Hey, Top Dog, do you think the DJ 341 00:16:15,864 --> 00:16:18,696 has any Rod Stewart or Neil Diamond? 342 00:16:20,664 --> 00:16:22,692 Gee, Carlton, I don't know. 343 00:16:22,713 --> 00:16:23,798 The last time we played them 344 00:16:23,817 --> 00:16:25,865 the party just kind of got out of hand. 345 00:16:25,886 --> 00:16:27,885 I know what you mean, you should see what happens 346 00:16:27,905 --> 00:16:29,732 at their concerts. 347 00:16:31,670 --> 00:16:33,809 Yo, homey, I'm not supposed to say anything 348 00:16:33,828 --> 00:16:35,957 but you have nothing to worry about. 349 00:16:35,977 --> 00:16:37,735 You're in. 350 00:16:37,755 --> 00:16:39,783 Your word? Me and Carlton got in? 351 00:16:39,804 --> 00:16:41,923 Well, not exactly. 352 00:16:41,943 --> 00:16:44,001 I mean, you're cool and all, but Carlton 353 00:16:44,724 --> 00:16:46,893 well, he's not exactly our type. 354 00:16:47,948 --> 00:16:50,970 [snapping fingers] 355 00:16:53,963 --> 00:16:57,819 Say, wh-what do you mean "Not our type?" 356 00:16:57,838 --> 00:17:00,027 Well, Carlton is not like you and me. 357 00:17:00,047 --> 00:17:02,025 You know what I'm saying? 358 00:17:02,046 --> 00:17:03,894 No, I don't know what you're saying. 359 00:17:03,914 --> 00:17:07,951 Will, Carlton doesn't exactly exemplify 360 00:17:07,971 --> 00:17:10,973 whatIthink a Phi Beta Gamma is. 361 00:17:10,993 --> 00:17:13,012 Oh, and-and what is that? 362 00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:14,869 Well, it's not Ralph Lauren shirts 363 00:17:14,889 --> 00:17:17,068 and wing tipped shoes and corporate America. 364 00:17:17,089 --> 00:17:21,075 We don't need a brother like him in this fraternity. 365 00:17:21,095 --> 00:17:24,098 Man, he isexactlywhat you need in this fraternity. 366 00:17:24,118 --> 00:17:26,026 I mean, Carlton has been a straight-A student 367 00:17:26,046 --> 00:17:27,191 since pre-school. 368 00:17:27,913 --> 00:17:29,971 He gives you 150% every time. 369 00:17:29,991 --> 00:17:32,923 Look, Will, I realize he's your cousin 370 00:17:32,943 --> 00:17:34,128 and you have to defend him 371 00:17:34,149 --> 00:17:36,941 but this discussion is closed. 372 00:17:40,013 --> 00:17:41,077 Alright. 373 00:17:43,035 --> 00:17:44,130 Carl.. 374 00:17:51,190 --> 00:17:54,082 Carlton, Carlton, Carlton.. 375 00:17:54,101 --> 00:17:55,306 Come on, man. Let's go. I didn't get in. 376 00:17:56,029 --> 00:17:57,144 What? Why? 377 00:17:57,165 --> 00:18:00,067 Look, I don't know, man. Come on. Just let's go. 378 00:18:01,222 --> 00:18:03,140 How dare you not take Will? 379 00:18:03,159 --> 00:18:04,263 He's full of potential. 380 00:18:04,284 --> 00:18:06,072 That's why we want him. 381 00:18:06,091 --> 00:18:07,246 It'syouwe don't want. 382 00:18:08,099 --> 00:18:09,214 Me? 383 00:18:12,206 --> 00:18:14,094 But I did everything. 384 00:18:14,114 --> 00:18:16,253 I-I cooked, I cleaned, I hand washed your toilets. 385 00:18:16,274 --> 00:18:18,403 Everything your butler does for you. 386 00:18:19,125 --> 00:18:20,280 I'm not accepting no prep school 387 00:18:20,301 --> 00:18:23,253 Bel-Air-bred sellout intomyfraternity. 388 00:18:23,273 --> 00:18:26,155 - Homey, you can stop all that. - No, wait, Will. 389 00:18:26,174 --> 00:18:27,339 I got this one. 390 00:18:30,393 --> 00:18:33,315 You think I'm a sellout. Why? 391 00:18:33,335 --> 00:18:37,191 Because I live in a big house or I dress a certain way? 392 00:18:37,210 --> 00:18:39,278 Or maybe it's because I like Barry Manilow? 393 00:18:39,299 --> 00:18:41,397 Yo, he-he meant Barry White, y'all. 394 00:18:43,467 --> 00:18:47,443 Being black isn't what I'm trying to be. It's what I am. 395 00:18:47,463 --> 00:18:50,305 I'm running the same race and jumping the same hurdles you are 396 00:18:50,324 --> 00:18:53,397 so why are you tripping me up? 397 00:18:53,418 --> 00:18:54,533 You said we need to stick together 398 00:18:54,552 --> 00:18:57,454 but you don't even know what that means. 399 00:18:57,475 --> 00:18:59,533 You ask me, you're the real sellout. 400 00:19:07,425 --> 00:19:09,514 Yeah, that's right, boy. 401 00:19:09,535 --> 00:19:12,407 And in the words of my illustrious cousin 402 00:19:12,426 --> 00:19:14,635 "We will make like a tree and leave." 403 00:19:20,551 --> 00:19:24,467 Hey, look, you don't speak for the rest of us, Dog. 404 00:19:24,486 --> 00:19:26,544 I'm going to have you kicked out of here. 405 00:19:28,683 --> 00:19:31,465 "Make like a tree and leave?" 406 00:19:31,485 --> 00:19:32,549 I never say that. 407 00:19:32,570 --> 00:19:34,679 It's make like a banana and split. 408 00:19:37,490 --> 00:19:39,548 I'll keep that in mind, alright? 409 00:19:39,568 --> 00:19:42,611 [instrumental music] 410 00:19:46,537 --> 00:19:48,666 (woman on TV) 'Laslow, how could you?' 411 00:19:48,687 --> 00:19:51,589 (man on TV) 'Oh, get over it, Mary, I'm leaving you..' 412 00:19:51,608 --> 00:19:52,763 '...for your brother.' 413 00:19:55,615 --> 00:19:57,643 [instrumental music on TV] 414 00:19:58,769 --> 00:20:00,818 Oh, you-you've got to tape this for me tomorrow. 415 00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:05,617 Damn that Laslow. 416 00:20:09,673 --> 00:20:11,872 Hey, we looking at the newest Phi Beta Gammas? 417 00:20:12,595 --> 00:20:16,712 No. Apparently, I'm not enough of a brother to be a brother. 418 00:20:16,734 --> 00:20:18,802 - What? - Yeah. 419 00:20:18,822 --> 00:20:21,654 The pledge leader said he didn't like sellouts. 420 00:20:22,799 --> 00:20:25,691 Well, who does? I mean, you wait and wait and wait 421 00:20:25,710 --> 00:20:26,895 when you finally get to the front of the line 422 00:20:26,915 --> 00:20:28,883 everything's gone? 423 00:20:31,735 --> 00:20:33,884 You know, this.. 424 00:20:33,905 --> 00:20:36,797 This really irritates me. 425 00:20:36,817 --> 00:20:39,960 I have worked very hard to give my family a good life 426 00:20:39,979 --> 00:20:41,756 and suddenly somebody tells me 427 00:20:41,776 --> 00:20:43,775 there's a penalty for success? 428 00:20:45,753 --> 00:20:47,771 I'm sorry you had to go through this, son. 429 00:20:52,782 --> 00:20:55,875 When are we going to stop doing this to each other? 430 00:20:58,817 --> 00:21:01,860 [instrumental music] 431 00:21:05,083 --> 00:21:07,824 Well, I wouldn't have to go down to juvenile hall, would I? 432 00:21:07,844 --> 00:21:09,923 I mean, I hear those kids really are.. 433 00:21:09,943 --> 00:21:12,112 You know, bad and messed up and-and.. 434 00:21:12,836 --> 00:21:15,899 And I'mma go, yeah. Wow. 435 00:21:15,918 --> 00:21:17,926 J-kamma.. The Jamma Gammas are, uh.. 436 00:21:17,946 --> 00:21:20,135 - The who? The-the.. - The Jamma Gammas. 437 00:21:20,156 --> 00:21:24,112 - The ba.. The bad mamma jammas. - The bad mamma jammas, yeah. 438 00:21:24,133 --> 00:21:27,095 You know, I hope Mary dumps that s-s.. See? 439 00:21:27,115 --> 00:21:29,063 [laughing] 440 00:21:29,084 --> 00:21:31,142 (Will) The-the.. The ba.. The bad mamma jammas. 441 00:21:31,162 --> 00:21:33,211 - The bad mamma jammas. Okay. - Yeah, yeah.