1
00:00:02,633 --> 00:00:03,827
Jackie, now how you gonna
play me?

2
00:00:04,551 --> 00:00:05,675
Eh, you left me in charge here.

3
00:00:05,695 --> 00:00:06,799
How come you can't trust me?

4
00:00:06,819 --> 00:00:08,856
Because I grew up with you.

5
00:00:09,579 --> 00:00:10,864
Now, did you do everything
on my list?

6
00:00:11,587 --> 00:00:12,871
Well, yeah, Miss Daisy.

7
00:00:13,594 --> 00:00:15,833
I cleaned the windows.
I cleaned the floor.

8
00:00:15,853 --> 00:00:17,770
I even cleaned the ceiling.

9
00:00:19,627 --> 00:00:21,755
Hey, look, you are talking
to one tired freshman here

10
00:00:21,776 --> 00:00:22,910
Miss Boss Lady.

11
00:00:23,633 --> 00:00:25,731
- 'Well, I am impressed.'
- As well you should be.

12
00:00:25,751 --> 00:00:27,778
Shame on you not trusting me.

13
00:00:27,799 --> 00:00:28,873
Now, you kick butt
in that game, alright?

14
00:00:28,893 --> 00:00:30,840
- Alright, bye.
- 'Bye, bye.'

15
00:00:32,717 --> 00:00:34,725
Hey. Good job, Harold.

16
00:00:35,858 --> 00:00:37,735
Hey, you know, Agnes,
I don't know

17
00:00:37,755 --> 00:00:39,702
why your daughter
doesn't call you.

18
00:00:41,691 --> 00:00:43,979
Hey. Break time's over, Sol.

19
00:00:44,702 --> 00:00:45,786
[theme song]

20
00:00:45,806 --> 00:00:48,787
♪ Now, this is a story all about
how ♪

21
00:00:48,808 --> 00:00:50,785
♪ My life got flipped
turned upside-down ♪

22
00:00:50,804 --> 00:00:52,982
♪ And I'd like to take a minute
just sit right there ♪

23
00:00:53,003 --> 00:00:54,931
♪ I'll tell you how I became
the prince of a town ♪

24
00:00:54,951 --> 00:00:56,848
♪ Called Bel-Air ♪

25
00:01:04,987 --> 00:01:07,838
♪ In west Philadelphia
born and raised ♪

26
00:01:07,858 --> 00:01:10,066
♪ On the playground is where
I spent most of my days ♪

27
00:01:10,086 --> 00:01:12,054
♪ Chillin' out maxin'
relaxin' all cool ♪

28
00:01:12,074 --> 00:01:14,955
♪ And all shootin' some b-ball
outside of the school ♪

29
00:01:14,975 --> 00:01:17,836
♪ When a couple of guys
who were up to no good ♪

30
00:01:17,857 --> 00:01:19,081
♪ Started makin' trouble
in my neighborhood ♪

31
00:01:19,100 --> 00:01:22,061
♪ I got in one little fight
and my mom got scared and said ♪

32
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:24,892
♪ You're moving with your auntie
and uncle in Bel-Air ♪

33
00:01:24,913 --> 00:01:26,871
♪ I whistled for a cab
and when it came near ♪

34
00:01:26,891 --> 00:01:29,019
♪ The license plate said fresh
and it had dice in the mirror ♪

35
00:01:29,039 --> 00:01:31,147
♪ If anything I can say that
this cab was rare ♪

36
00:01:31,166 --> 00:01:35,181
♪ But I thought nah forget it
yo homes to Bel-Air ♪

37
00:01:35,903 --> 00:01:38,122
♪ I pulled up to a house
about seven or eight ♪

38
00:01:38,143 --> 00:01:41,104
♪ And I yelled to the cabbie
yo homes smell you later ♪

39
00:01:41,124 --> 00:01:43,945
♪ I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there ♪

40
00:01:43,964 --> 00:01:46,162
♪ To sit on my throne
as the prince of Bel-Air ♪

41
00:01:53,199 --> 00:01:55,067
Look, sweetheart, you can't

42
00:01:55,087 --> 00:01:56,984
spend every moment with Nicky.

43
00:01:57,004 --> 00:01:59,192
Look, you have to get over
this separation anxiety.

44
00:01:59,211 --> 00:02:01,048
You went through the same thing
with Carlton.

45
00:02:01,068 --> 00:02:03,226
Yes, and look at how well
he turned out.

46
00:02:10,264 --> 00:02:12,281
You must be very proud.

47
00:02:14,088 --> 00:02:17,079
Vivian, sweetheart..

48
00:02:17,099 --> 00:02:19,187
...I love you and I miss you.

49
00:02:19,207 --> 00:02:20,281
And that's why
we're going to have

50
00:02:20,301 --> 00:02:23,102
lunch this afternoon at La Teau.

51
00:02:23,122 --> 00:02:24,206
Oh, I'd love to, honey.

52
00:02:24,226 --> 00:02:25,360
But I don't think
Nicky is ready

53
00:02:26,083 --> 00:02:26,354
for restaurants yet.

54
00:02:26,373 --> 00:02:29,254
I was talking about us, Vivian.

55
00:02:29,275 --> 00:02:31,132
We're going to kiss.

56
00:02:31,152 --> 00:02:33,140
We're going to have a romantic

57
00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:35,318
baby-free good time.

58
00:02:35,337 --> 00:02:37,284
Uncle Phil, I think
you should be more concerned

59
00:02:37,305 --> 00:02:39,293
with a cholesterol-free
good time.

60
00:02:40,286 --> 00:02:42,354
And one of you will babysit.

61
00:02:42,373 --> 00:02:45,164
Big poopy.

62
00:02:48,226 --> 00:02:49,260
What did you say?

63
00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:53,476
Oh, I, I said, uh
"Beg, puppy"

64
00:02:55,352 --> 00:02:58,203
to my pretend dog, Ernie.

65
00:03:01,426 --> 00:03:03,293
Fetch, Ernie.

66
00:03:06,294 --> 00:03:07,499
He's gone now.

67
00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:12,487
Philip, honey, can I speak
to you a minute, please?

68
00:03:12,508 --> 00:03:14,535
Uh, is this a good idea, honey?

69
00:03:14,554 --> 00:03:16,512
Do you think we can rely on

70
00:03:16,532 --> 00:03:20,486
them to take care
of the B-A-B-Y?

71
00:03:20,507 --> 00:03:22,514
Who's Bobby?

72
00:03:30,355 --> 00:03:32,382
The baby.

73
00:03:32,401 --> 00:03:34,539
Mom, his name is Nicky.

74
00:03:37,522 --> 00:03:39,650
- I'm staying home.
- Come on, come on, Vivian.

75
00:03:40,371 --> 00:03:42,369
Geoffrey will take care
of the baby. Come on, let's go.

76
00:03:42,390 --> 00:03:44,377
You only have four and a half
hours to say goodbye.

77
00:03:44,397 --> 00:03:46,626
Not to worry, madam,
I'll care for the child

78
00:03:46,645 --> 00:03:49,445
as though he were my very own.

79
00:03:49,465 --> 00:03:50,690
We'll draw straws
for the little bugger.

80
00:03:51,413 --> 00:03:52,667
Short one loses.

81
00:03:52,689 --> 00:03:54,626
Oh, that would be you, Carlton.

82
00:03:56,462 --> 00:03:58,640
Hardy-har-har,
but I've got a class.

83
00:03:58,660 --> 00:04:00,688
Oh,well, wait a minute,
I've got a job.

84
00:04:00,709 --> 00:04:03,529
- I've got a match.
- Oh, I've got..

85
00:04:05,466 --> 00:04:07,644
A date with Mr. Stinky!

86
00:04:13,537 --> 00:04:14,711
Two cappuccinos, please.

87
00:04:14,731 --> 00:04:17,743
Mmm, well,
I'm hoping you like it

88
00:04:17,762 --> 00:04:21,526
dark, hot, sweet..

89
00:04:21,546 --> 00:04:24,557
...and, uh, with a spoon in it.

90
00:04:27,650 --> 00:04:29,567
Could you hurry it up, please?

91
00:04:29,587 --> 00:04:32,588
I told that guy over there,
I'd buy him some coffee.

92
00:04:32,609 --> 00:04:35,650
Poor Todd, trying to raise
his baby all alone

93
00:04:35,670 --> 00:04:38,601
hold down a job
and go to school.

94
00:04:38,621 --> 00:04:39,785
I think it's just adorable.

95
00:04:39,806 --> 00:04:41,753
You do? I'm the same, baby.

96
00:04:41,773 --> 00:04:44,764
I mean, I'm holding down a
job
and going to school.

97
00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:47,695
About that baby part, if you
ain't doing nothing later, I'm..

98
00:04:48,910 --> 00:04:52,654
Will, you've gotta help me,
I took Nicky shopping

99
00:04:52,674 --> 00:04:53,818
but I can't try anything on.

100
00:04:53,837 --> 00:04:56,738
I mean, he just lies there

101
00:04:56,759 --> 00:04:58,807
watching me get undressed and

102
00:04:58,827 --> 00:05:02,732
making these tiny little
drool bubbles and..

103
00:05:02,751 --> 00:05:04,728
He reminds me of Trevor.

104
00:05:05,843 --> 00:05:08,875
- So you take him.
- Well, whoa, hold up, girl.

105
00:05:08,894 --> 00:05:10,731
I'm working this place
by myself.

106
00:05:10,752 --> 00:05:11,926
Jackie's at an away game.

107
00:05:11,946 --> 00:05:13,843
And I ain't got no time for no

108
00:05:13,863 --> 00:05:17,817
"Give me my bottle
and change my didy.

109
00:05:18,913 --> 00:05:21,783
Wipe my booty."

110
00:05:23,027 --> 00:05:26,791
Oh, Will, your little boy is
just adorable.

111
00:05:26,812 --> 00:05:28,800
Well, like padre, like Nino

112
00:05:28,820 --> 00:05:30,888
you know what I'm saying?

113
00:05:30,907 --> 00:05:32,964
Alright, break it up.

114
00:05:32,984 --> 00:05:35,012
Move on. Nothing to see here.

115
00:05:35,033 --> 00:05:37,964
Show's over. Beat it!

116
00:05:38,997 --> 00:05:40,894
- Hi.
- Hi, hey.

117
00:05:40,915 --> 00:05:41,989
I'm Candace.

118
00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:44,116
Could I get a picture of you
and your son together?

119
00:05:44,839 --> 00:05:46,907
Oh, yeah, sure.

120
00:05:49,045 --> 00:05:51,996
How do you manage
being a single father?

121
00:05:52,016 --> 00:05:53,953
Doesn't it get lonely?

122
00:05:53,974 --> 00:05:55,871
Well..

123
00:05:55,890 --> 00:05:59,022
You know,
the nights is kind of bad.

124
00:05:59,042 --> 00:06:01,070
You know, 'cause I have to be
both mommy and daddy

125
00:06:01,090 --> 00:06:03,941
to little Willie Junior here
since..

126
00:06:03,962 --> 00:06:05,196
...since Tirisha died.

127
00:06:07,062 --> 00:06:09,933
That's it. I'm not gonna stand
here another minute and listen--

128
00:06:09,953 --> 00:06:11,931
Hey! Isn't that who played
Greg Brady?

129
00:06:11,951 --> 00:06:14,962
Where? Hey, Greg, wait up!

130
00:06:19,991 --> 00:06:22,149
You are quite a guy, Will.

131
00:06:22,169 --> 00:06:25,170
Just tell me
everything about you.

132
00:06:25,191 --> 00:06:27,228
You mean, you want to be
our friend?

133
00:06:27,248 --> 00:06:29,226
Yeah.

134
00:06:29,247 --> 00:06:31,134
Hey, little Willie

135
00:06:31,153 --> 00:06:33,191
we made a new friend.

136
00:06:35,269 --> 00:06:39,104
And she can sleep over
any time she wants to.

137
00:06:42,174 --> 00:06:45,065
[instrumental music]

138
00:06:45,085 --> 00:06:48,338
Hi, honey, your dad and I just
had the most romantic lunch.

139
00:06:48,359 --> 00:06:50,105
Romantic?

140
00:06:50,125 --> 00:06:51,199
I don't mean to be critical,
Vivian

141
00:06:51,218 --> 00:06:53,186
but you did mention the
baby,
what..

142
00:06:53,207 --> 00:06:55,245
...three or four dozen
times?

143
00:06:55,265 --> 00:06:57,112
But it was so romantic
when you asked

144
00:06:57,131 --> 00:06:59,309
that strolling violinist
to play my favorite song.

145
00:06:59,330 --> 00:07:02,291
Yes. And what did you
request?

146
00:07:02,310 --> 00:07:06,144
"The Wheels On The Bus
Go Round And Round."

147
00:07:06,165 --> 00:07:10,210
♪ Go Round and Round the Wheels
on the Bus go Round and Round ♪

148
00:07:10,230 --> 00:07:13,221
Vivian, we used to go
to a restaurant

149
00:07:13,241 --> 00:07:16,182
and not even be able to
make it to the table.

150
00:07:16,202 --> 00:07:20,258
You remember the cloakroom
at Mario's Peruvian?

151
00:07:20,278 --> 00:07:25,337
Excuse me, but when did I get
old enough to hear this? Ah!

152
00:07:26,432 --> 00:07:28,238
Excuse me.

153
00:07:28,259 --> 00:07:30,497
- Geoffrey, where's the baby?
- The baby?

154
00:07:30,517 --> 00:07:32,494
Ah! the baby.

155
00:07:32,514 --> 00:07:34,471
Um, actually,
Miss Hilary insisted

156
00:07:34,492 --> 00:07:36,399
on taking him out
for the afternoon.

157
00:07:36,419 --> 00:07:39,521
And since the poor girl's still
so depressed about Trevor

158
00:07:39,540 --> 00:07:42,371
I hadn't the heart to
refuse.

159
00:07:42,392 --> 00:07:44,349
Hi, everybody.

160
00:07:45,463 --> 00:07:46,577
Geoffrey, could you
give me a hand?

161
00:07:47,299 --> 00:07:48,514
I left the most important thing
in the car.

162
00:07:48,535 --> 00:07:52,349
Hilary. You left the baby alone
in the car?

163
00:07:52,369 --> 00:07:54,437
Mother, I would never do
that.

164
00:07:54,456 --> 00:07:56,363
How irresponsible do you
think
I am?

165
00:07:56,384 --> 00:07:59,496
- Well, then where's the baby?
- I don't know.

166
00:08:01,594 --> 00:08:03,481
Mom, you have to see
these earrings I bought.

167
00:08:03,500 --> 00:08:04,602
The little diamonds spell out--

168
00:08:04,622 --> 00:08:08,539
- Hilary!
- Ah! How did you know?

169
00:08:08,559 --> 00:08:12,486
- Hey, hey, hey.
- My baby, come to mommy.

170
00:08:12,506 --> 00:08:14,479
Oh, coming, mommy.

171
00:08:18,487 --> 00:08:20,410
Well, wait a minute, Will.

172
00:08:20,430 --> 00:08:21,502
How did you get hold
of the baby?

173
00:08:21,521 --> 00:08:23,495
Wasn't Hilary supposed to
watch him?

174
00:08:24,596 --> 00:08:26,680
- Hilary?
- What?

175
00:08:27,401 --> 00:08:29,635
Oh, God, it's not like,
I left him at Sizzler..

176
00:08:29,655 --> 00:08:31,659
...Dad.

177
00:08:36,667 --> 00:08:40,644
[sighs]
Last time I do you people
any favors.

178
00:08:40,665 --> 00:08:44,442
Don't worry, Nicky,
mommy's got you now.

179
00:08:44,461 --> 00:08:47,526
♪ The wheels on the bus go round
and round.. ♪

180
00:08:48,688 --> 00:08:51,433
I guess the only way I'm
gonna
get any attention around here

181
00:08:51,453 --> 00:08:52,625
is if I start wearing diapers.

182
00:08:52,646 --> 00:08:54,519
No, Uncle Phil,
you got at least five years

183
00:08:54,539 --> 00:08:56,523
before you need them.

184
00:09:00,660 --> 00:09:02,463
Vivian.

185
00:09:03,565 --> 00:09:05,538
Will, after what you did today,
I don't even know

186
00:09:05,558 --> 00:09:07,502
how you could look me
in the eye.

187
00:09:07,521 --> 00:09:09,464
Hmm, easy, like this.

188
00:09:10,587 --> 00:09:13,512
Look, I won't let you use Nicky
for evil anymore.

189
00:09:13,531 --> 00:09:15,564
Next time I'm going to
the authorities.

190
00:09:15,585 --> 00:09:17,639
Thanks for the warning,
Captain Weenie.

191
00:09:19,541 --> 00:09:21,595
[instrumental music]

192
00:09:21,615 --> 00:09:23,578
- Will Smith?
- Yeah.

193
00:09:23,599 --> 00:09:25,503
Well, hello.

194
00:09:25,522 --> 00:09:27,635
Buy you lunch today, daddy?

195
00:09:27,655 --> 00:09:29,649
Yeah, sure.

196
00:09:39,546 --> 00:09:41,780
Man, this is an
embarrassment
of riches.

197
00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:43,533
But what about me?

198
00:09:43,553 --> 00:09:45,737
Oh, you just an
embarrassment,
man.

199
00:09:45,758 --> 00:09:47,741
- Hi, guys.
- Hey, Jackie, what's up?

200
00:09:47,761 --> 00:09:49,744
Let me get that for you.
How was the game?

201
00:09:49,764 --> 00:09:52,830
- We won.
- Ta-da.

202
00:09:53,550 --> 00:09:55,614
So, uh,
what's been going on here?

203
00:09:55,635 --> 00:09:56,767
Anything unusual?

204
00:09:56,787 --> 00:09:59,561
No, no, actually,
it's been pretty quiet.

205
00:09:59,580 --> 00:10:00,622
Oh, good, cool.

206
00:10:00,643 --> 00:10:02,647
So, uh, before I forget

207
00:10:02,667 --> 00:10:03,849
would you sign
the school paper for me?

208
00:10:04,569 --> 00:10:05,661
Right here next to your picture.

209
00:10:05,682 --> 00:10:07,856
Oh, yeah, sure,
I don't see why enh..

210
00:10:14,606 --> 00:10:16,690
No!

211
00:10:16,710 --> 00:10:18,723
[baby crying]

212
00:10:22,681 --> 00:10:23,863
Oh, boy, are you in trouble.

213
00:10:23,882 --> 00:10:26,597
And I'd like to say,
"Hey, I'm here for you."

214
00:10:26,617 --> 00:10:28,701
But, heck, I'd be lying.

215
00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:33,740
Look, it's just
this little blurb

216
00:10:33,759 --> 00:10:36,705
in some dumb school newspaper!

217
00:10:36,726 --> 00:10:37,848
Freeze.

218
00:10:37,868 --> 00:10:41,704
Don't be coming over here
with no attitude.

219
00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:42,786
This ain't my fault.

220
00:10:42,805 --> 00:10:45,810
- Oh, whose was it then?
- Well, yours.

221
00:10:45,831 --> 00:10:47,905
- What?
- You heard me.

222
00:10:47,924 --> 00:10:51,831
I'm saying, you know
I can't be trusted.

223
00:10:51,852 --> 00:10:53,665
You wouldn't have left me
here alone

224
00:10:53,684 --> 00:10:54,876
none of this mess
would ever happen.

225
00:10:54,897 --> 00:10:56,910
That's it, I didn't come
all the way here from Philly

226
00:10:56,929 --> 00:10:58,723
to hear this..

227
00:10:58,744 --> 00:10:59,835
I am tired! Get out of my face!

228
00:10:59,856 --> 00:11:02,700
Don't be all up in my grill!
Excuse me.

229
00:11:02,719 --> 00:11:04,703
Oh, you need to shut..
I'm out of here!

230
00:11:04,723 --> 00:11:05,885
Excuse me, excuse me!
You know what?

231
00:11:05,906 --> 00:11:07,829
- You ain't never gonna change!
- Never gonna change!

232
00:11:07,848 --> 00:11:09,912
(both)
I'm getting the last word!
Oh, no, you're not!

233
00:11:09,932 --> 00:11:11,765
- Oh, yes, I am!
- Oh, yes, I am!

234
00:11:11,786 --> 00:11:12,938
- Damn!
- Damn!

235
00:11:20,951 --> 00:11:24,697
- Will, hi.
- What? W.. Oh.

236
00:11:24,717 --> 00:11:27,723
Hey, how are you doing?
That's right.

237
00:11:27,743 --> 00:11:29,997
A beautiful woman
here to see me!

238
00:11:30,718 --> 00:11:32,761
Oh, I guess I should've told you
I'm on the school paper.

239
00:11:32,782 --> 00:11:35,888
- I hope you're not mad.
- Mad? No, I ain't mad.

240
00:11:35,908 --> 00:11:39,875
- Then why are you yelling?
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I got..

241
00:11:39,894 --> 00:11:42,929
I got a slight hearing problem.

242
00:11:42,950 --> 00:11:44,883
Deficiency, you know,
from my night job

243
00:11:44,902 --> 00:11:46,816
at the target range.

244
00:11:47,979 --> 00:11:49,892
Oh, you poor thing.

245
00:11:49,911 --> 00:11:51,784
Listen, I got a class now.

246
00:11:51,804 --> 00:11:52,886
But could you meet me here
tomorrow morning

247
00:11:52,906 --> 00:11:54,038
say, around 9 o'clock?

248
00:11:54,759 --> 00:11:55,891
- Oh, yeah, sure.
- Cool.

249
00:11:55,911 --> 00:11:57,975
'Cause I'd love to see
that sweet baby again.

250
00:11:57,996 --> 00:12:00,961
Huh? Oh! Oh. Uh..

251
00:12:00,981 --> 00:12:03,956
I think he has plans.

252
00:12:03,976 --> 00:12:06,961
Oh, well, that's too bad
'cause I was thinking

253
00:12:06,981 --> 00:12:08,825
maybe the three of us
could do something

254
00:12:08,845 --> 00:12:10,808
really special together.

255
00:12:10,827 --> 00:12:14,944
And then while he's taking
his little nappy, who knows?

256
00:12:14,964 --> 00:12:18,911
Well, he just a baby. How
important could his plans
be?

257
00:12:18,931 --> 00:12:21,846
- You're so cute.
- I know, I know, ain't I?

258
00:12:21,867 --> 00:12:24,812
Okay, so I'll meet you here
at 9 o'clock

259
00:12:24,831 --> 00:12:26,985
and you won't be sorry.

260
00:12:32,816 --> 00:12:34,860
Oh, I know I won't be sorry..

261
00:12:36,052 --> 00:12:38,856
...'cause I got me a woman!

262
00:12:40,038 --> 00:12:42,883
All I need is me a baby.

263
00:12:42,903 --> 00:12:45,077
[instrumental music]

264
00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:48,943
- Hi, baby.
- Hello, dear.

265
00:12:50,125 --> 00:12:54,112
- Are you talking to me?
- Of course I am.

266
00:12:54,132 --> 00:12:57,027
I know I've been ignoring
you
lately.

267
00:12:57,048 --> 00:12:59,913
So would you let me
make it up to you?

268
00:13:02,156 --> 00:13:04,109
Maybe.

269
00:13:12,013 --> 00:13:13,996
Oh, alright.

270
00:13:14,016 --> 00:13:16,941
I've seen you both naked anyway.

271
00:13:21,930 --> 00:13:24,164
Sweetheart,
I have rented us a suite

272
00:13:24,184 --> 00:13:26,999
at the Bel-Air Hotel
for tonight.

273
00:13:27,020 --> 00:13:29,123
Now, Carlton is gonna
take care of Nicky..

274
00:13:29,143 --> 00:13:32,018
...so I can take care of
you.

275
00:13:36,104 --> 00:13:38,098
Alright, that's it.

276
00:13:38,119 --> 00:13:39,211
That's it. I'm tired of
this.

277
00:13:39,932 --> 00:13:42,126
Y'all two need some time alone,
okay?

278
00:13:42,146 --> 00:13:43,218
You gonna leave Nicky here.

279
00:13:43,939 --> 00:13:45,061
You gonna go get
a fly hotel suite.

280
00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:46,232
And you gonna chill
and you ain't coming back

281
00:13:46,953 --> 00:13:48,125
here till tomorrow afternoon.

282
00:13:48,146 --> 00:13:50,029
Come on, let's go pack.

283
00:13:54,105 --> 00:13:57,241
Oh, Philip,
this is so wonderful.

284
00:13:59,124 --> 00:14:01,057
I have been working so hard

285
00:14:01,078 --> 00:14:03,973
taking care of the baby
night and day.

286
00:14:03,992 --> 00:14:05,205
Yes, well, you just
lay back and relax

287
00:14:05,226 --> 00:14:07,149
and let daddy take care of you.

288
00:14:07,169 --> 00:14:09,082
Dim the lights, Vivian.

289
00:14:12,238 --> 00:14:15,283
[instrumental music]

290
00:14:22,075 --> 00:14:23,277
Yes, baby.

291
00:14:25,260 --> 00:14:28,115
[exhales]

292
00:14:28,135 --> 00:14:30,209
You know, sweetheart.

293
00:14:30,229 --> 00:14:32,212
For the longest time,
I've had the feeling

294
00:14:32,232 --> 00:14:36,159
that the fire in our marriage
had gone out.

295
00:14:36,178 --> 00:14:38,071
But now I know..

296
00:14:38,091 --> 00:14:41,327
...that the flame still burns.

297
00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:45,174
Can't get enough of your love,
baby.

298
00:14:46,156 --> 00:14:48,160
[snoring]

299
00:14:49,180 --> 00:14:51,064
Vivian?

300
00:14:55,241 --> 00:14:56,253
Vivian!

301
00:14:56,274 --> 00:14:59,209
[snoring]

302
00:14:59,228 --> 00:15:00,350
Vivian.

303
00:15:02,133 --> 00:15:04,277
[instrumental music]

304
00:15:04,298 --> 00:15:06,291
Okay, look, Nicky,
this is very important.

305
00:15:06,311 --> 00:15:08,254
Come on, repeat after me

306
00:15:08,274 --> 00:15:10,118
"Da Da?"

307
00:15:11,310 --> 00:15:13,173
Oh, man.

308
00:15:15,125 --> 00:15:16,387
Oh, hey, sorry, my man,
it's only 9 o'clock.

309
00:15:17,109 --> 00:15:18,321
Place doesn't open up till 10.

310
00:15:18,342 --> 00:15:20,215
Oh, oh, I'm sorry.

311
00:15:20,234 --> 00:15:23,359
I, uh, kind of lost track of
time since I pawned my watch.

312
00:15:23,380 --> 00:15:26,224
No, heck, I-I don't need to
bother you with my problems.

313
00:15:26,244 --> 00:15:27,386
No, hey, hold up, man,
it's cool.

314
00:15:27,406 --> 00:15:29,180
Here, have a seat right
here.

315
00:15:29,201 --> 00:15:30,343
There you go.

316
00:15:32,285 --> 00:15:36,192
Got a little something for
you
on the house.

317
00:15:36,213 --> 00:15:39,158
- Thank you.
- Hey, least I can do, man.

318
00:15:39,177 --> 00:15:41,170
You're my inspiration.

319
00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:42,412
A-ha! Caught you.

320
00:15:42,432 --> 00:15:46,219
Oh, no, it's Captain Weenie
and his bag of tricks.

321
00:15:47,441 --> 00:15:49,264
You're despicable.

322
00:15:49,284 --> 00:15:51,228
I went to check up on
my little brother this morning

323
00:15:51,249 --> 00:15:52,421
and what did I find?

324
00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:55,375
A zucchini. A zucchini, Will.

325
00:15:55,396 --> 00:15:59,293
Well, I've had enough
of your twisted charade.

326
00:15:59,312 --> 00:16:02,207
- Hey, man, what are you doing?
- Taking you down, mister.

327
00:16:02,227 --> 00:16:04,420
I'm calling mom and dad
at the Bel-Air Hotel.

328
00:16:06,464 --> 00:16:09,299
You got change for a dollar?

329
00:16:09,319 --> 00:16:12,214
Oh, no, see,
you gotta buy something.

330
00:16:12,234 --> 00:16:14,478
Okay, um, give me a pack of gum.

331
00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:17,238
Sorry, we're closed.

332
00:16:17,257 --> 00:16:20,298
Well, there's a world of change
out there, mister..

333
00:16:20,319 --> 00:16:22,237
...and I'm gonna find it.

334
00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:26,462
Good morning, Will.
I'm so glad you could make it.

335
00:16:26,483 --> 00:16:29,364
And little Willie too.

336
00:16:29,383 --> 00:16:32,264
Yeah, we came here
straight from church.

337
00:16:33,418 --> 00:16:35,556
Uh, what's up with that special
somethin'-somethin'

338
00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:37,344
you promised me?

339
00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:38,579
- Okay, close your eyes.
- Okay.

340
00:16:39,300 --> 00:16:41,368
Now, I knew
you wouldn't agree to this

341
00:16:41,389 --> 00:16:44,350
if I hadn't kept it a surprise.

342
00:16:44,369 --> 00:16:46,457
A surprise?
What you talking about?

343
00:16:46,477 --> 00:16:48,555
- Surprise!
- Hey, man.

344
00:16:48,576 --> 00:16:53,425
Will Smith, you are live
here on "The Hart File Show."

345
00:16:53,445 --> 00:16:54,639
I'm your host, Jake Maxwell.

346
00:16:55,361 --> 00:16:59,487
And this is ULA's
Father Of The Year.

347
00:16:59,507 --> 00:17:01,645
Guess you're pretty excited,
huh, Will?

348
00:17:04,587 --> 00:17:07,488
Sorry, we're closed.

349
00:17:07,507 --> 00:17:09,414
Be open at 10:00.

350
00:17:09,434 --> 00:17:10,669
[instrumental music]

351
00:17:13,591 --> 00:17:15,569
[moans]

352
00:17:15,589 --> 00:17:17,626
Yeah, you better wake up,
Vivian.

353
00:17:17,646 --> 00:17:20,578
Olive Oyl is looking
awfully good right now.

354
00:17:22,474 --> 00:17:26,519
Oh, sweetie, I am sorry
I fell asleep last night.

355
00:17:26,539 --> 00:17:29,480
But guess what?
I'm wide awake now.

356
00:17:29,500 --> 00:17:31,538
Quit it, quit it.
I am not in the mood.

357
00:17:31,558 --> 00:17:33,576
Just move.
You're blocking Bluto.

358
00:17:34,681 --> 00:17:36,668
I'm gonna go freshen up.

359
00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:39,660
Why don't you turn on
some more of that music.

360
00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:41,708
Oh, yeah, right.

361
00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:45,652
(man on TV)
Will Smith, what's it like being
a single father here in LA?

362
00:17:45,673 --> 00:17:47,740
Oh, you know, I'm saying,
you know, it ain 't easy.

363
00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:50,641
You know, you know,
being a single father like me.

364
00:17:50,660 --> 00:17:53,682
But, uh, little Willie,
Will-Willie Junior here

365
00:17:53,703 --> 00:17:55,701
makes everything worthwhile.

366
00:17:55,721 --> 00:17:57,788
- Did you see my..
- Let's dance, Vivian, huh?

367
00:17:57,809 --> 00:17:59,856
Oh, Philip, what in the world..

368
00:17:59,875 --> 00:18:01,793
Nothing. Nothing.

369
00:18:04,825 --> 00:18:06,732
That's my baby.

370
00:18:08,689 --> 00:18:09,903
That's my zucchini.

371
00:18:12,876 --> 00:18:14,823
Daddy Will, "The Hart File"

372
00:18:14,843 --> 00:18:16,770
wants to make your life
a little easier.

373
00:18:16,790 --> 00:18:22,783
So here's a year's supply
of baby products for your son.

374
00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:25,914
Oh, this is ridiculous.
What does he know about babies?

375
00:18:25,935 --> 00:18:28,956
This is his idea of a baby.

376
00:18:28,976 --> 00:18:31,887
Get that fruitcake out of here.

377
00:18:31,908 --> 00:18:33,735
Hey!

378
00:18:33,754 --> 00:18:34,948
Listen, I don't deserve
all this stuff.

379
00:18:34,969 --> 00:18:37,940
That's right, young fella,
you deserve a whole lot more.

380
00:18:37,961 --> 00:18:43,773
So how's about a holiday
in Hawaii?

381
00:18:43,792 --> 00:18:48,028
Oh, look, I can't..
I'm sorry, did you say
Hawaii?

382
00:18:48,048 --> 00:18:49,975
Will, if it's not too painful

383
00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:51,863
could you tell the folks
at home

384
00:18:51,882 --> 00:18:53,980
a little bit about Tirisha?

385
00:18:54,001 --> 00:18:55,085
Who?

386
00:18:55,808 --> 00:18:57,856
Tirisha, your son's mother.

387
00:18:58,899 --> 00:18:59,953
Oh!

388
00:18:59,974 --> 00:19:02,855
That Tirisha.
Yes, uh, she's dead now.

389
00:19:02,874 --> 00:19:05,905
Um, I-I met her after I got back

390
00:19:05,925 --> 00:19:09,890
from, um, from fighting them
oil fires, uh, in Kuwait.

391
00:19:09,911 --> 00:19:12,109
You know, and my hair,
my eyebrows and everything

392
00:19:12,129 --> 00:19:13,906
had just started growing back.

393
00:19:13,926 --> 00:19:15,150
And, um, General Powell
said to me, he said

394
00:19:15,170 --> 00:19:18,071
"Yo, homey, you need to get down
with a little R and R

395
00:19:18,093 --> 00:19:20,180
'cause you're looking
a little singed." you know?

396
00:19:20,903 --> 00:19:23,975
So, um, in China..
He sent me to China.

397
00:19:23,994 --> 00:19:25,148
And then that's where we met.

398
00:19:25,169 --> 00:19:28,090
It was in a, a little-known
province, uh, called..

399
00:19:28,110 --> 00:19:30,138
...uh, Rae Dawn Chong.

400
00:19:32,968 --> 00:19:34,112
And..

401
00:19:37,977 --> 00:19:39,191
Well,sayonara.

402
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:45,165
Come on, Will, could you tell us
more of your touching story?

403
00:19:45,185 --> 00:19:47,143
[baby crying]

404
00:19:47,163 --> 00:19:48,237
I'll just take him out.

405
00:19:48,257 --> 00:19:50,304
But, no, no.
Hold, hold up a second, man.

406
00:19:51,026 --> 00:19:53,044
Um..

407
00:19:53,064 --> 00:19:56,035
Uh, look,
by a show of hands here

408
00:19:56,055 --> 00:19:58,093
how many of y'all
got a sense of humor, huh?

409
00:19:58,113 --> 00:19:59,247
Huh?

410
00:20:00,242 --> 00:20:02,260
[mumbling]

411
00:20:08,101 --> 00:20:10,339
Alright, look,
I ain't no father of the year.

412
00:20:10,359 --> 00:20:12,287
Um..

413
00:20:12,308 --> 00:20:14,215
I'm not even a father.

414
00:20:15,329 --> 00:20:18,230
I made all of this stuff up.

415
00:20:18,250 --> 00:20:20,188
I'm-I'm kind of good at that.

416
00:20:21,282 --> 00:20:23,430
This is my cousin Nicky.

417
00:20:24,152 --> 00:20:26,270
And I don't deserve
all these gifts.

418
00:20:28,217 --> 00:20:30,225
Oh, but this dude here,
this guy here, I mean..

419
00:20:30,245 --> 00:20:33,226
He-he's the real single
father
with the real problems.

420
00:20:33,246 --> 00:20:37,342
- I.. Give him all the stuff.
- Hawaii too?

421
00:20:37,363 --> 00:20:40,284
No, homey, I thought I'd
hang on to Hawaii, you
know..

422
00:20:42,330 --> 00:20:44,398
Hawaii too.

423
00:20:45,492 --> 00:20:48,444
And that's another heartwarming
moment from..

424
00:20:50,301 --> 00:20:52,318
"...The Hart File."

425
00:20:52,338 --> 00:20:55,420
Are we off?
Somebody get me a drink.

426
00:21:02,346 --> 00:21:03,481
You creep.

427
00:21:03,502 --> 00:21:05,459
Just wait till you see
what I write about you

428
00:21:05,479 --> 00:21:07,517
in tomorrow's paper.

429
00:21:07,537 --> 00:21:09,444
But, baby, I..

430
00:21:11,441 --> 00:21:12,595
See?

431
00:21:12,615 --> 00:21:14,583
I can tell the truth.

432
00:21:16,531 --> 00:21:18,358
I'm saying, you know

433
00:21:18,377 --> 00:21:20,595
maybe there's
a little hope for me yet?

434
00:21:20,615 --> 00:21:22,583
Very little.

435
00:21:26,478 --> 00:21:27,572
Will, I'm out of here.

436
00:21:27,593 --> 00:21:29,621
I just wanna say
thank you one more time.

437
00:21:29,641 --> 00:21:31,447
Hey, no problem, man.

438
00:21:31,467 --> 00:21:33,414
Hey, you know, it actually
makes me feel good

439
00:21:33,434 --> 00:21:34,679
to do something for somebody
who really needed it.

440
00:21:34,699 --> 00:21:36,536
And I was starting to feel
a lil' stank

441
00:21:36,557 --> 00:21:38,685
you know, claiming that
as my baby and everything.

442
00:21:38,704 --> 00:21:40,511
Yeah, I know what you mean.

443
00:21:40,531 --> 00:21:41,615
See, um..

444
00:21:41,636 --> 00:21:44,527
...this ain't my kid either.

445
00:21:44,546 --> 00:21:45,690
Aloha.

446
00:21:49,666 --> 00:21:51,704
Oh, see, that's so wrong.

447
00:21:56,713 --> 00:21:59,674
You know, Will, if you had
pulled a stunt like this

448
00:21:59,694 --> 00:22:01,772
when you were in high school..

449
00:22:01,791 --> 00:22:03,789
...God knows
what I would've done.

450
00:22:03,809 --> 00:22:06,760
Why, I might've done
something like this..

451
00:22:06,781 --> 00:22:09,813
[Will screams]

452
00:22:12,642 --> 00:22:14,690
[instrumental music]

453
00:22:17,621 --> 00:22:18,635
I went to check
on my little brother

454
00:22:18,655 --> 00:22:19,729
and you know what I found?

455
00:22:19,750 --> 00:22:21,828
A zucchi.. A zucchini.

456
00:22:24,759 --> 00:22:28,614
What? Oh, um.. What? I'm sorry,
I didn't hear what you found.

457
00:22:28,633 --> 00:22:29,838
A zucchini, Will.

458
00:22:29,859 --> 00:22:31,625
Oh!

459
00:22:35,750 --> 00:22:37,818
(male #1)
'Good luck, Captain Weenie.'