1 00:00:01,199 --> 00:00:03,020 [instrumental music] 2 00:00:03,040 --> 00:00:05,040 Look, Carlton, for the last time, no. 3 00:00:05,059 --> 00:00:08,000 I do not want a hypnotist at my bachelor party. 4 00:00:08,019 --> 00:00:10,119 But, Will, you don't know how incredibly cool it is. 5 00:00:10,140 --> 00:00:13,019 I don't want cool, fool. 6 00:00:14,250 --> 00:00:16,030 I want something simple. 7 00:00:16,050 --> 00:00:18,030 Just me and my boys barking like seals 8 00:00:18,050 --> 00:00:19,190 at naked women. 9 00:00:19,210 --> 00:00:21,059 [imitating a seal] 10 00:00:23,059 --> 00:00:25,140 But, Will, that's so politically incorrect. 11 00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:28,230 No one likes naked women anymore, believe me. 12 00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:32,270 Tell me again, why did I make you my best man? 13 00:00:32,289 --> 00:00:34,259 Because you said I'm like the brother you never had. 14 00:00:34,280 --> 00:00:38,079 No, no, I said you like the brother I never wanted. 15 00:00:39,270 --> 00:00:41,149 Look, Will, I put a lot of thought into this. 16 00:00:41,170 --> 00:00:44,049 The least you can do is keep an open mind. 17 00:00:44,070 --> 00:00:45,100 [sighs] 18 00:00:45,119 --> 00:00:47,049 Alright, alright, fine. 19 00:00:47,070 --> 00:00:51,070 Maybe there is something to this hypnotism stuff. 20 00:00:56,280 --> 00:01:00,070 You are getting shorter. 21 00:01:03,070 --> 00:01:08,060 When you wake up, you will be very, very short. 22 00:01:11,019 --> 00:01:13,210 Damn, see, that stuff does work. 23 00:01:13,230 --> 00:01:15,210 [theme song] 24 00:01:15,230 --> 00:01:16,289 ♪ Now this is a story ♪ 25 00:01:17,010 --> 00:01:19,010 ♪ All about how my life got flipped ♪ 26 00:01:19,030 --> 00:01:20,159 ♪ Turned upside-down ♪ 27 00:01:20,180 --> 00:01:22,170 ♪ And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there ♪ 28 00:01:22,189 --> 00:01:24,000 ♪ I'll tell you how I became the prince ♪ 29 00:01:24,019 --> 00:01:25,219 ♪ Of a town called Bel-Air ♪ 30 00:01:34,170 --> 00:01:37,000 ♪ In West Philadelphia, born and raised ♪ 31 00:01:37,020 --> 00:01:39,170 ♪ On the playground is where I spent most of my days ♪ 32 00:01:39,189 --> 00:01:41,210 ♪ Chillin' out maxin' relaxing all cool ♪ 33 00:01:41,229 --> 00:01:44,079 ♪ And all shootin' some b-ball outside of the school ♪ 34 00:01:44,099 --> 00:01:46,280 ♪ When a couple of guys who were up to no good ♪ 35 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:48,259 ♪ Started makin' trouble in my neighborhood ♪ 36 00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:51,079 ♪ I got in one little fight and my mom got scared ♪ 37 00:01:51,099 --> 00:01:52,170 ♪ And said you're moving with your auntie ♪ 38 00:01:52,189 --> 00:01:53,280 ♪ And uncle in Bel-Air ♪ 39 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:55,270 ♪ I whistled for a cab and when it came near ♪ 40 00:01:55,289 --> 00:01:58,210 ♪ The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror ♪ 41 00:01:58,229 --> 00:02:00,280 ♪ If anything I can say that this cab was rare ♪ 42 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:02,019 ♪ But I thought nah forget it ♪ 43 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:04,209 ♪ Yo homes to Bel-Air ♪ 44 00:02:04,230 --> 00:02:07,209 ♪ I pulled up to a house about seven or eight ♪ 45 00:02:07,230 --> 00:02:09,050 ♪ And I yelled to the cabbie ♪ 46 00:02:09,069 --> 00:02:10,199 ♪ Yo homes smell you later ♪ 47 00:02:10,219 --> 00:02:12,180 ♪ I looked at my kingdom I was finally there ♪ 48 00:02:12,199 --> 00:02:15,110 ♪ To sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air ♪ 49 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:31,030 Philip, honey, here are the directions 50 00:02:31,050 --> 00:02:32,110 to the Crescent Rock School. 51 00:02:32,129 --> 00:02:33,129 Now, you have to have Nicky there 52 00:02:33,150 --> 00:02:35,039 or his interview by 10 a.m. 53 00:02:35,060 --> 00:02:37,229 What? That interview was today? 54 00:02:37,250 --> 00:02:39,009 Philip, don't tell me you-- 55 00:02:39,030 --> 00:02:42,189 - Well, uh.. Uh.. - Hmm. 56 00:02:44,039 --> 00:02:46,159 Distant drums say man with giant pants 57 00:02:46,180 --> 00:02:49,240 forget important interview. 58 00:02:49,259 --> 00:02:51,039 Will, this is serious. 59 00:02:51,060 --> 00:02:53,139 This is one of the top two schools in L.A. 60 00:02:53,159 --> 00:02:54,280 Oh. I was just playing, Aunt Viv. 61 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,139 It's cool, relax y'all. I'll take Nicky. 62 00:02:57,159 --> 00:02:59,219 Hillary, what are you doing in about two hours? 63 00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:01,090 Sorry, dad, I have a hair appointment. 64 00:03:01,110 --> 00:03:02,229 Well, can't you cancel it? 65 00:03:02,250 --> 00:03:05,169 [laughing] 66 00:03:05,189 --> 00:03:07,150 Good one, daddy. Ha. 67 00:03:07,169 --> 00:03:10,189 Uh, hello. I said I'll take him, Uncle Phil. 68 00:03:10,210 --> 00:03:12,129 Carlton. 69 00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:14,030 Got a class. 70 00:03:14,050 --> 00:03:17,139 Uh, Will Smith's in the house. 71 00:03:17,159 --> 00:03:19,139 - Hello. - Geoffrey. 72 00:03:19,159 --> 00:03:20,139 Certainly, sir. 73 00:03:20,159 --> 00:03:21,210 I'll just have to make this 74 00:03:21,229 --> 00:03:23,250 triple fudge bundt cake tomorrow. 75 00:03:23,270 --> 00:03:27,099 - Mm. Geoffrey's out. - Geoffrey's out. 76 00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:29,009 Ashley, can you drive him? 77 00:03:29,030 --> 00:03:31,150 Sure, my bike has a basket. 78 00:03:33,020 --> 00:03:35,090 Well, Uncle Phil, it looks like it's down to me. 79 00:03:35,110 --> 00:03:37,150 Or that weird dude that be vacuuming our pool. 80 00:03:37,170 --> 00:03:40,120 - Oh, Gus is here? - Uncle Phil. Look. 81 00:03:41,250 --> 00:03:44,110 Oh, alright. Alright, you can, you can take him. 82 00:03:44,129 --> 00:03:46,199 Alright. 83 00:03:46,219 --> 00:03:48,030 Big mistake. 84 00:03:48,050 --> 00:03:49,180 Hey, what are you talking about? 85 00:03:49,199 --> 00:03:51,050 What, you think I don't want Nicky 86 00:03:51,069 --> 00:03:52,150 to get into a good school? 87 00:03:52,170 --> 00:03:54,159 Education is very important to me. 88 00:03:54,180 --> 00:03:56,250 Say, don't you have a class now? 89 00:03:56,270 --> 00:03:58,099 Oh, that's not important. 90 00:03:58,120 --> 00:04:00,060 [instrumental music] 91 00:04:03,090 --> 00:04:04,159 Alright, little man, suppose they ask you 92 00:04:04,180 --> 00:04:06,000 why you wanna go to their school. 93 00:04:06,020 --> 00:04:08,120 - What do you tell them? - I don't know. 94 00:04:08,139 --> 00:04:09,210 Of course, you do. 95 00:04:09,229 --> 00:04:11,000 You say, "I think this school 96 00:04:11,020 --> 00:04:12,259 "has a nurturing environment which will best 97 00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:15,139 realize my education potential." 98 00:04:15,159 --> 00:04:19,240 Or you could say, "In two years, I'll be bigger than you." 99 00:04:21,079 --> 00:04:22,160 Will, if you don't mind 100 00:04:22,180 --> 00:04:25,050 I'm trying to get Nicky ready for his interview. 101 00:04:25,069 --> 00:04:26,259 Well, you need to stop pressuring him. 102 00:04:26,279 --> 00:04:29,120 You treat him like a ventriloquist dummy. 103 00:04:29,139 --> 00:04:32,120 That's not what I'm doing. 104 00:04:32,139 --> 00:04:34,209 Nicky, what school do you wanna go to? 105 00:04:34,230 --> 00:04:38,250 The best school in L.A. Crescent Rock School. 106 00:04:41,069 --> 00:04:43,090 Yeah, I was wrong, Carlton. 107 00:04:44,189 --> 00:04:46,090 You the dummy. 108 00:04:47,129 --> 00:04:49,079 [instrumental music] 109 00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:55,110 Hey, Nicky, check it out. 110 00:04:55,129 --> 00:04:57,269 Yo, post up, post up, post up. 111 00:04:57,290 --> 00:04:59,100 Ooh. 112 00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:11,290 Hey, you alright? Hey, look. 113 00:05:12,009 --> 00:05:14,230 Now, Nicky, I don't want you to be nervous, alright? 114 00:05:14,250 --> 00:05:17,129 I want you to ignore everything that Carlton said. 115 00:05:17,149 --> 00:05:19,209 Just be yourself, alright? 116 00:05:27,100 --> 00:05:29,089 [grunts] 117 00:05:29,110 --> 00:05:32,180 Now I know what Uncle Phil must feel like in a Miata. 118 00:05:34,199 --> 00:05:37,079 Hi, I'm Penny Abigail Jillette. 119 00:05:37,100 --> 00:05:40,279 This school has a warm, nurturing atmosphere. 120 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:45,180 I'm Nicky. Is there any apple juice? 121 00:05:45,199 --> 00:05:47,240 Hi, I'm Ruby Jillette. I'm Penny's mom. 122 00:05:47,259 --> 00:05:50,120 Oh, hey. Hi, I'm Will. I'm Nicky's cousin. 123 00:05:50,139 --> 00:05:52,040 Ah. 124 00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:55,170 That may be why the other adults were standing. 125 00:05:57,120 --> 00:06:01,129 Uh, well, Penny seems to be a.. 126 00:06:01,149 --> 00:06:03,029 ...really bright little girl. 127 00:06:03,050 --> 00:06:04,089 [crashes] 128 00:06:06,209 --> 00:06:08,129 - Sorry. - Uh.. 129 00:06:08,149 --> 00:06:10,040 Um, yes, she is. 130 00:06:10,060 --> 00:06:12,110 She started writing poetry at age three. 131 00:06:12,129 --> 00:06:14,009 And now she's publishing a little magazine 132 00:06:14,029 --> 00:06:15,250 for the kids on the Internet. 133 00:06:15,269 --> 00:06:19,089 Yeah, well, you know, Nicky be writing too. You know, yeah. 134 00:06:19,110 --> 00:06:20,250 You know, he-he just wrote, produced 135 00:06:20,269 --> 00:06:23,129 directed his first screenplay. 136 00:06:23,149 --> 00:06:25,100 "The Forest Gumby." 137 00:06:27,050 --> 00:06:30,050 Look, I can make myself dizzy. 138 00:06:30,069 --> 00:06:31,220 Nick.. 139 00:06:33,180 --> 00:06:34,290 Nicky.. 140 00:06:36,180 --> 00:06:39,000 That's a part of his comedy act. 141 00:06:39,019 --> 00:06:42,250 Yeah, that one killed them at Def Jam, Junior. Ha-ha. 142 00:06:42,269 --> 00:06:45,079 Nicky, why don't you sit? Ooh. 143 00:06:48,290 --> 00:06:51,120 [chuckles] 144 00:06:51,139 --> 00:06:55,120 Hi, I'm Miss Jansen, one of the kindergarten teachers. 145 00:06:55,139 --> 00:06:57,040 Basically, we're just observing the kids. 146 00:06:57,060 --> 00:07:00,009 Seeing how they play and how they interact with one another. 147 00:07:00,029 --> 00:07:02,230 Oh, hey, well, Nicky here is a big interacter. 148 00:07:02,250 --> 00:07:07,069 You might call him the last interaction hero, you know. 149 00:07:07,089 --> 00:07:10,160 Well, it looks like we've got a couple of sculptors here. 150 00:07:10,180 --> 00:07:13,170 I made an Arabian stallion. 151 00:07:14,199 --> 00:07:16,120 That's remarkable. 152 00:07:16,139 --> 00:07:18,269 Well, wait till y'all see what Nicky made. 153 00:07:18,290 --> 00:07:21,240 Shoot, it's, uh.. 154 00:07:21,259 --> 00:07:24,050 This-this, this is a.. 155 00:07:24,069 --> 00:07:26,129 It looks like a rock. 156 00:07:28,170 --> 00:07:31,170 This is that mountain from Hawaii 157 00:07:31,189 --> 00:07:35,120 Mount Kichikichiyayadada. 158 00:07:35,139 --> 00:07:39,069 It's really a turtle. He's inside his shell. 159 00:07:39,090 --> 00:07:40,230 Is he hiding because he's nervous 160 00:07:40,250 --> 00:07:42,129 about going to a new school? 161 00:07:42,149 --> 00:07:45,209 No, he's watching "Power Rangers." 162 00:07:45,230 --> 00:07:46,209 [chuckles] 163 00:07:46,230 --> 00:07:48,120 Well, that's great. 164 00:07:48,139 --> 00:07:50,159 I've gotta go now and set up your snacks. 165 00:07:50,180 --> 00:07:52,029 Can I help? 166 00:07:52,050 --> 00:07:54,290 Sure you can, Nicky. Come on. 167 00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:05,170 [scoffs] 168 00:08:05,189 --> 00:08:07,240 What you making now? 169 00:08:12,149 --> 00:08:15,079 What, an artificial heart valve? 170 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:21,259 [instrumental music] 171 00:08:24,149 --> 00:08:26,100 So how'd the interview go? 172 00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:28,230 Oh, great. 173 00:08:28,250 --> 00:08:32,090 You know, I mean, not "Great" great, you know. 174 00:08:32,110 --> 00:08:35,100 'But it was good. It was good. You know.' 175 00:08:36,259 --> 00:08:40,129 You know, not that good, you know. 176 00:08:40,149 --> 00:08:43,129 But.. What is the word I'm looking for? 177 00:08:43,149 --> 00:08:45,000 Bad? 178 00:08:45,019 --> 00:08:46,080 Worse than that, but I'll go with bad. 179 00:08:46,100 --> 00:08:48,039 Oh, Will. 180 00:08:48,059 --> 00:08:50,269 Look, come on, Uncle Phil, it wasn't Nicky's fault. 181 00:08:50,289 --> 00:08:52,110 That's right. 182 00:08:52,129 --> 00:08:56,009 Will's the one that got yelled at for stealing. 183 00:08:56,029 --> 00:08:58,000 Look. 184 00:08:58,019 --> 00:09:00,039 Well, she had it coming after the way 185 00:09:00,059 --> 00:09:02,080 she talked about your mountain. 186 00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:04,149 It was a turtle. 187 00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:06,070 Nicky, go make yourself dizzy. 188 00:09:09,110 --> 00:09:10,190 Nicky, Nicky, Nicky. 189 00:09:10,210 --> 00:09:14,149 Stop, stop, look. Just sit down. Sit here. Ah. 190 00:09:14,169 --> 00:09:16,090 Nice work, Will. 191 00:09:16,110 --> 00:09:19,039 You'd better hope that he gets into the Considine School. 192 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,230 The head of admissions is coming tonight 193 00:09:20,250 --> 00:09:22,000 to interview the entire family 194 00:09:22,019 --> 00:09:25,049 and unfortunately, that includes you. 195 00:09:25,070 --> 00:09:27,000 Ho-ho. Hold the phone, big guy. 196 00:09:27,019 --> 00:09:30,210 Will and I have a magical evening planned. 197 00:09:30,230 --> 00:09:33,059 Uncle Phil, are you sure that while Aunt Viv was pregnant 198 00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:35,169 with Carlton she wasn't, you know? 199 00:09:38,139 --> 00:09:41,120 You promised we'd go see the hypnotist, remember? 200 00:09:41,139 --> 00:09:43,120 [sighs] 201 00:09:43,139 --> 00:09:45,049 Oh, look at this. 202 00:09:45,070 --> 00:09:47,190 Tippy The Drunken Penguin is his opening act. 203 00:09:47,210 --> 00:09:50,110 Ooh, you think we could get him for my bachelor party? 204 00:09:50,129 --> 00:09:52,080 I wish. 205 00:09:54,009 --> 00:09:55,049 Do whatever you want. 206 00:09:55,070 --> 00:09:56,059 Just be sure you're back here 207 00:09:56,080 --> 00:09:57,190 promptly at 8:00. 208 00:09:57,210 --> 00:09:59,259 We're going to show those people from Considine school 209 00:09:59,279 --> 00:10:02,220 that we're a warm, caring loving family 210 00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:05,100 or I'm going to kill you. 211 00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:07,120 Oh, come on, Uncle Phil, hasn't there been enough 212 00:10:07,139 --> 00:10:09,190 black-on-black violence? 213 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:14,049 Man, I will see you at 8:00. 214 00:10:14,070 --> 00:10:16,220 [instrumental music] 215 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:20,019 At the sound of the bell, you will awaken from your trance. 216 00:10:20,039 --> 00:10:24,009 However, you will think that you are naked. 217 00:10:24,029 --> 00:10:26,070 Three, two.. 218 00:10:26,090 --> 00:10:28,019 [bell dings] 219 00:10:30,179 --> 00:10:33,080 [screaming] 220 00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:36,019 [applauding] 221 00:10:36,039 --> 00:10:39,200 Look, Will, she thinks she's naked. Isn't this exciting? 222 00:10:41,100 --> 00:10:44,009 Carlton, are you sure Aunt Viv didn't.. 223 00:10:47,049 --> 00:10:50,059 Now, who would like to be my next volunteer? 224 00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:53,000 Someone who doesn't embarrass easily. 225 00:10:53,019 --> 00:10:55,179 Pick me, oh, Great Mentos, pick me. 226 00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:59,039 Ooh. Shoot me, oh, Great Mentos, shoot me. 227 00:10:59,289 --> 00:11:03,090 Uh.. How about you? 228 00:11:05,009 --> 00:11:06,110 [sighs] 229 00:11:06,129 --> 00:11:08,039 [instrumental music] 230 00:11:08,059 --> 00:11:11,070 You are in a state of full relaxation. 231 00:11:11,090 --> 00:11:13,070 The sound of my voice is very soothing. 232 00:11:13,090 --> 00:11:15,240 And you will accept any suggestion that I make. 233 00:11:15,259 --> 00:11:17,139 I want to take you back. 234 00:11:17,159 --> 00:11:22,169 At the sound of the bell, you will be four years old. 235 00:11:24,110 --> 00:11:25,230 (Carlton) 'Will, wake up.' 236 00:11:25,250 --> 00:11:27,129 The show is almost over and you haven't 237 00:11:27,149 --> 00:11:29,240 even touched your pie. 238 00:11:29,259 --> 00:11:31,000 Pie. 239 00:11:31,019 --> 00:11:32,289 Oh, my God, Uncle Phil. 240 00:11:33,009 --> 00:11:35,200 Carlton, we were supposed to be back at the house at 8 o'clock. 241 00:11:35,220 --> 00:11:37,269 Come on, I'm gonna go get our coats. 242 00:11:37,289 --> 00:11:40,080 Remember, at the sound of the bell 243 00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:43,110 you will be four years old. 244 00:11:44,110 --> 00:11:46,080 [bell dings] 245 00:11:52,029 --> 00:11:54,159 [mumbling] 246 00:12:10,110 --> 00:12:11,279 [giggling] 247 00:12:23,279 --> 00:12:25,129 [bell dings] 248 00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:29,000 Can I help you? 249 00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:32,029 Could I have my coat? 250 00:12:34,259 --> 00:12:35,250 My fault. 251 00:12:35,269 --> 00:12:38,259 [instrumental music] 252 00:12:40,269 --> 00:12:42,009 [instrumental music] 253 00:12:44,129 --> 00:12:46,210 - Hey, hey. - Well, it's about time. 254 00:12:46,230 --> 00:12:49,070 The man from Considine School's gonna be here any minute. 255 00:12:49,090 --> 00:12:51,120 Hey, look, I'm sorry we're late, Uncle Phil. 256 00:12:51,139 --> 00:12:52,210 And you just forget it. 257 00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:54,169 There's no way I'm humiliating myself 258 00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:57,269 by having some corny loser at my bachelor party. 259 00:12:57,289 --> 00:13:00,129 Hey, don't talk about The Great Mentos like that. 260 00:13:00,149 --> 00:13:01,240 I wasn't. 261 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:04,220 Alright, just settle down you two. 262 00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:06,149 - Is everything ready, Ashley? - I think so. 263 00:13:06,169 --> 00:13:09,230 I've replaced all the video tapes with insect documentaries. 264 00:13:09,250 --> 00:13:11,279 Good Lord, Hilary. What are you reading? 265 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,259 The Victoria's Secret catalog. 266 00:13:13,279 --> 00:13:17,100 It's their end-of-the-season thong blowout. Ha-ha. 267 00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:19,070 Ooh. That's a good issue too. 268 00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:23,080 Everything in there is half off. You know what I'm saying? 269 00:13:23,100 --> 00:13:26,190 That is not the kind of image we wanna present. Give me that. 270 00:13:26,210 --> 00:13:28,279 Well, better yet, give me that. 271 00:13:30,129 --> 00:13:33,159 Oh, there you are. There's my little man. 272 00:13:33,179 --> 00:13:36,080 Come on, sweetheart, have a seat right here. 273 00:13:36,100 --> 00:13:38,090 Philip, this is ridiculous. 274 00:13:38,110 --> 00:13:40,039 I hate pretending to be something we're not. 275 00:13:40,059 --> 00:13:41,220 Oh. Well, fine, Vivian 276 00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:44,009 so Nicky doesn't get into a good school this year. 277 00:13:44,029 --> 00:13:46,129 He can stay home with Will watching "Power Rangers" 278 00:13:46,149 --> 00:13:48,049 and making himself dizzy. 279 00:13:50,100 --> 00:13:52,220 Honey, here, just hold this. 280 00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:55,019 And-and try to stay awake. 281 00:13:58,070 --> 00:14:01,190 Whoa, G, man, something smells good. 282 00:14:01,210 --> 00:14:04,100 Aren't you glad I use Dial? 283 00:14:06,190 --> 00:14:09,000 Oh, you meant the crab puffs. 284 00:14:09,019 --> 00:14:11,090 Yeah, man, these things is kind of tiny. 285 00:14:11,110 --> 00:14:15,129 I seen Uncle Phil pick bigger chunks of food out of his teeth. 286 00:14:15,149 --> 00:14:17,149 [doorbell rings] 287 00:14:17,169 --> 00:14:19,090 Come in. 288 00:14:20,139 --> 00:14:22,070 That never works. 289 00:14:24,009 --> 00:14:25,129 He's here. We better get out there. 290 00:14:25,149 --> 00:14:26,289 [grunts] 291 00:14:28,210 --> 00:14:30,159 What the heck is wrong with you? 292 00:14:30,179 --> 00:14:33,110 I gotta go potty. 293 00:14:33,129 --> 00:14:34,200 What are you telling me for? 294 00:14:34,220 --> 00:14:37,240 You gotta take me, please? Come on. 295 00:14:37,259 --> 00:14:42,009 Hey, the buddy system stops at the pool, mister. 296 00:14:42,029 --> 00:14:44,009 Look, come on, I gotta go. 297 00:14:44,029 --> 00:14:45,250 Come on, come on, come on. 298 00:14:45,269 --> 00:14:47,149 [doorbell rings] Come on, Carlton. 299 00:14:47,169 --> 00:14:51,059 What are you tripping for? Uncle Phil's in there, let's go. 300 00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:53,129 Will's acting kind of weird. 301 00:14:53,149 --> 00:14:56,179 It must be all that rap music. 302 00:14:56,200 --> 00:15:00,200 I'd like to strangle the man who invented the doorbell. 303 00:15:00,220 --> 00:15:03,009 The bell, that's it. 304 00:15:03,029 --> 00:15:04,240 Geoffrey, Will's been hypnotized. 305 00:15:04,259 --> 00:15:08,009 The Great Mentos made him think he's four years old. 306 00:15:08,029 --> 00:15:10,139 Can he make me think I care? 307 00:15:12,059 --> 00:15:14,019 Will, Will. 308 00:15:14,039 --> 00:15:16,120 And this is our son, Carlton. 309 00:15:16,139 --> 00:15:17,259 [chuckles] 310 00:15:20,190 --> 00:15:24,159 Well, and this must be Nicholas. 311 00:15:24,179 --> 00:15:27,210 Yes, stand up, Nicholas and shake Mr. Spiegel's hand. 312 00:15:27,230 --> 00:15:30,250 I can't, my legs are numb. 313 00:15:30,269 --> 00:15:33,000 Oh. Oh. 314 00:15:33,019 --> 00:15:35,159 Look at that, the boy would rather read than walk. 315 00:15:35,179 --> 00:15:38,169 Isn't that beautiful? 316 00:15:38,190 --> 00:15:41,049 So who's the musician? 317 00:15:41,070 --> 00:15:43,009 Oh, that would be me. 318 00:15:43,029 --> 00:15:45,059 I play a little cello. 319 00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:47,019 But this is a bass. 320 00:15:47,039 --> 00:15:49,279 Well, the cello's in the shop, this is a loaner. 321 00:15:52,179 --> 00:15:55,289 Oh, the "World of Discovery" series. 322 00:15:56,009 --> 00:15:57,269 This one is marvelous. 323 00:15:57,289 --> 00:16:01,159 "The Ant, Nature's Busiest Worker." 324 00:16:01,179 --> 00:16:04,179 Oh, yes. Ants are extremely intelligent. 325 00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:08,190 I still can't believe they run their own farms. 326 00:16:08,210 --> 00:16:10,179 (Vivian) 'Well, yes. Mr. Spiegel.' 327 00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:12,269 Won't you try one of our crab puffs? 328 00:16:12,289 --> 00:16:15,019 I got the recipe from our favorite little bistro 329 00:16:15,039 --> 00:16:18,090 in Paris, Le Bistro. 330 00:16:18,110 --> 00:16:23,080 Actually, madam, I got it from the Gary Coleman Cookbook. 331 00:16:23,100 --> 00:16:25,110 Hope you like short ribs. 332 00:16:26,250 --> 00:16:29,070 [oven timer rings] 333 00:16:29,090 --> 00:16:32,120 Ah, I hear the little guys now. 334 00:16:36,210 --> 00:16:39,279 So is that a Princeton tie you're wearing? 335 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,259 Oh, I'm a Princeton man. Class of '69. 336 00:16:41,279 --> 00:16:44,019 You're kidding. Class of '73. 337 00:16:44,039 --> 00:16:46,090 [laughing] 338 00:16:46,110 --> 00:16:48,200 You like seafood? 339 00:16:48,220 --> 00:16:50,019 Of course. 340 00:16:50,039 --> 00:16:51,200 See, food. 341 00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:56,029 ♪ Crash through the line of blue ♪ 342 00:16:56,049 --> 00:16:59,080 ♪ And send the backs on 'round the end ♪ 343 00:16:59,100 --> 00:17:01,269 ♪ Fight fight for every yard ♪ 344 00:17:01,289 --> 00:17:03,200 ♪ Princeton's honor to defend ♪ 345 00:17:03,220 --> 00:17:04,250 ♪ Rah rah rah ♪♪ 346 00:17:04,269 --> 00:17:07,089 (Philip) 'Argh!' 347 00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:09,019 Come on, Will, let's go in the kitchen. 348 00:17:09,039 --> 00:17:12,220 I don't want to. No. 349 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:15,029 - I'll give you a snickerdoodle. - Okay. 350 00:17:20,170 --> 00:17:23,000 Certainly is great to have another Princeton Tiger 351 00:17:23,019 --> 00:17:24,259 in the house. 352 00:17:24,279 --> 00:17:27,000 I need something that rings. 353 00:17:27,019 --> 00:17:30,089 Oh, I know, the oven timer. 354 00:17:32,109 --> 00:17:34,269 Oh, H-E-double-toothpicks. 355 00:17:35,269 --> 00:17:37,059 Ooh. 356 00:17:37,079 --> 00:17:39,109 Geoffrey, do you have anything with bells on it? 357 00:17:39,130 --> 00:17:41,049 Why, certainly, Master Carlton. 358 00:17:41,069 --> 00:17:44,200 I just happen to have a trolley in my trousers. 359 00:17:46,269 --> 00:17:50,049 Whoa! I need you to stay put, young man. 360 00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:53,170 - Do you understand? - Yes. 361 00:17:53,190 --> 00:17:55,240 Okay, now I'm gonna go look for something with a bell. 362 00:17:55,259 --> 00:17:58,059 You're not gonna move, right? 363 00:17:58,079 --> 00:18:01,210 - No. - Good. 364 00:18:01,230 --> 00:18:04,150 Simon says, "Freeze." 365 00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:08,069 That's it. Little boys who don't behave go to the pool house. 366 00:18:08,089 --> 00:18:09,210 Make me. 367 00:18:11,089 --> 00:18:13,009 My pleasure, you little rug rat. 368 00:18:13,029 --> 00:18:16,009 Ooh, ooh. Stop, I'm gonna tell. Stop, I'm gonna tell. 369 00:18:16,029 --> 00:18:18,089 Help! Help! 370 00:18:18,109 --> 00:18:21,160 That's it. You're on a time out, mister. 371 00:18:21,180 --> 00:18:24,049 Now, come on. You're sitting in the corner. 372 00:18:24,069 --> 00:18:26,000 What the hell is going on in here? 373 00:18:26,019 --> 00:18:30,269 He can't talk to you, dad, he's in time out. 374 00:18:30,289 --> 00:18:33,009 I don't care what kind of shenanigans 375 00:18:33,029 --> 00:18:34,109 you two are trying to pull here. 376 00:18:34,130 --> 00:18:36,130 We're not pulling anything, dad. 377 00:18:36,150 --> 00:18:37,279 'Will's been hypnotized.' 378 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,109 He'll snap out of it if I find a bell 379 00:18:39,130 --> 00:18:41,230 but I can't find one to ring. 380 00:18:41,250 --> 00:18:44,140 I'll ring your head like a bell if you don't get in there. 381 00:18:45,279 --> 00:18:48,130 When I first read the brochure for Considine School 382 00:18:48,150 --> 00:18:50,079 I knew it was the perfect-- 383 00:18:50,099 --> 00:18:51,170 Somebody wanna hear a joke? 384 00:18:51,190 --> 00:18:53,220 Excuse me, Will. I'm talking here. 385 00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:55,130 - So I decided-- - Okay. 386 00:18:55,150 --> 00:18:59,210 What's the most musical part of your body? 387 00:18:59,230 --> 00:19:01,190 I don't know. 388 00:19:01,210 --> 00:19:05,019 Your nose because you can pick it and blow it. 389 00:19:05,039 --> 00:19:06,160 [laughing] 390 00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:11,069 I don't get it. 391 00:19:11,089 --> 00:19:13,059 Okay, okay, I got another one. I got another one. 392 00:19:13,079 --> 00:19:15,109 Will, could I speak to you for a minute, please? 393 00:19:15,130 --> 00:19:18,250 Pick it and blow it, oh, I get it. Ha-ha. 394 00:19:18,269 --> 00:19:22,220 Excuse me, mister, I'll shine your head for a nickel. 395 00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:26,150 Will. Over here. Now! 396 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:34,029 He's a little high-strung, isn't he? 397 00:19:34,049 --> 00:19:36,190 Oh, look what you did to the poor little fella. 398 00:19:36,210 --> 00:19:39,220 For the love of God, does nobody have a bell? 399 00:19:43,210 --> 00:19:47,140 Obviously, you're in some sort of a family crisis here 400 00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:49,289 and I think it's best if I just be going. 401 00:19:50,009 --> 00:19:52,029 Uh, uh, oh, no, please. Mr. Spiegel. 402 00:19:52,049 --> 00:19:54,089 I can explain the entire situation. 403 00:19:54,109 --> 00:19:56,099 I'm sure you can. 404 00:19:57,109 --> 00:20:00,049 To another school. 405 00:20:00,069 --> 00:20:01,190 Good luck. 406 00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:04,140 I found a bell. 407 00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:06,089 [ringing] 408 00:20:11,119 --> 00:20:14,190 What the hell is in those crab puffs? 409 00:20:14,210 --> 00:20:17,000 [instrumental music] 410 00:20:22,069 --> 00:20:25,049 Well, that hypnotist certainly can put on a show. 411 00:20:25,069 --> 00:20:27,240 Yeah, I'm just glad he unhypnotized me. 412 00:20:27,259 --> 00:20:29,029 Too bad we got stuck behind that 413 00:20:29,049 --> 00:20:30,240 ice cream truck on the way there. 414 00:20:30,259 --> 00:20:33,259 Yeah, those bells turned you into a raving maniac. 415 00:20:33,279 --> 00:20:36,099 Hey, I missed dinner, okay? 416 00:20:37,289 --> 00:20:40,059 Philip, you'll never guess what happened. 417 00:20:40,079 --> 00:20:43,069 The Crescent Rock School called, they've accepted Nicky. 418 00:20:43,089 --> 00:20:44,160 Oh, that's wonderful. 419 00:20:44,180 --> 00:20:47,000 Oh, put it there, my man. 420 00:20:47,019 --> 00:20:49,109 - Pssh! - Pssh! 421 00:20:49,130 --> 00:20:52,289 They said it was his sincerity that impressed them the most. 422 00:20:53,009 --> 00:20:54,240 They liked that he was just being himself. 423 00:20:54,259 --> 00:20:57,049 That's what Will told me to do. 424 00:20:57,069 --> 00:21:00,009 Oh, you preach it there, little bro. 425 00:21:00,029 --> 00:21:01,160 That's what I'm talking about. 426 00:21:01,180 --> 00:21:04,109 You know, it just seems to me that there might be 427 00:21:04,130 --> 00:21:08,130 a cash gift involved here somewhere, I don't know. 428 00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:14,220 Well, I'll settle for just a hearty handshake. 429 00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:16,250 Psh, psh. Alright, bro. 430 00:21:18,150 --> 00:21:19,269 - Don't push it. - Come on. 431 00:21:19,289 --> 00:21:21,009 Uncle Phil, I know you're not 432 00:21:21,029 --> 00:21:22,150 still mad at me about last night. 433 00:21:22,170 --> 00:21:24,119 I was hypnotized. I couldn't help it. 434 00:21:24,140 --> 00:21:26,029 No, I suppose not. 435 00:21:26,049 --> 00:21:28,230 I guess weak-willed individuals like you are just susceptible 436 00:21:28,250 --> 00:21:30,210 to that kind of mental manipulation. 437 00:21:30,230 --> 00:21:31,210 [doorbell rings] 438 00:21:31,230 --> 00:21:34,170 [barking] 439 00:21:43,150 --> 00:21:45,109 Hey, hey, hey. 440 00:21:45,130 --> 00:21:47,240 Look, I'll walk him, but somebody else gonna have to 441 00:21:47,259 --> 00:21:48,240 pooper scoop. 442 00:21:48,259 --> 00:21:50,289 [instrumental music] 443 00:21:54,289 --> 00:21:57,160 [theme song] 444 00:21:57,180 --> 00:21:59,109 ♪ Yeah ♪ 445 00:22:02,099 --> 00:22:03,279 ♪ Yeah ♪ 446 00:22:06,250 --> 00:22:08,150 ♪ Yeah ♪ 447 00:22:11,150 --> 00:22:13,099 ♪ Yeah ♪ 448 00:22:16,059 --> 00:22:18,019 ♪ Yeah ♪ 449 00:22:20,210 --> 00:22:22,250 ♪ Yeah ♪♪