1
00:00:01,199 --> 00:00:04,059
[instrumental music]

2
00:00:05,259 --> 00:00:07,040
Hey, G, what is your idea of

3
00:00:07,059 --> 00:00:09,150
like, the perfect wedding?

4
00:00:09,169 --> 00:00:11,220
Any one at which I'm not serving
hors d'oeuvres

5
00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:13,169
or pouring champagne.

6
00:00:14,259 --> 00:00:18,199
Wow! Then you're going to think
ours sucks.

7
00:00:18,219 --> 00:00:20,100
- Hey, Uncle Phil, what's up?
- How you doin', Will?

8
00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:21,199
Uh, remember Lisa's pop's
comin' in

9
00:00:21,219 --> 00:00:22,250
from Cleveland this
afternoon

10
00:00:22,269 --> 00:00:24,239
so don't be late for dinner.

11
00:00:24,260 --> 00:00:27,050
[chuckles]
My fault.

12
00:00:27,070 --> 00:00:30,289
Second there, I forgot who I was
talking to, you know that?

13
00:00:31,010 --> 00:00:33,079
Well, I'm actually looking
forward to meeting him.

14
00:00:33,100 --> 00:00:35,189
We'll probably discuss
the wedding while he's here.

15
00:00:35,210 --> 00:00:37,100
In fact, I have finished
the guest list.

16
00:00:37,119 --> 00:00:41,020
And, good news, I've kept it
small. Just 300 people.

17
00:00:43,149 --> 00:00:44,240
Three hundred?

18
00:00:44,259 --> 00:00:47,070
Who're you inviting,
the entire Wayans family?

19
00:00:49,130 --> 00:00:51,039
Come on, Uncle Phil,
who are these people?

20
00:00:51,060 --> 00:00:53,189
Well, they're just, you
know,
business associates

21
00:00:53,210 --> 00:00:55,079
uh, contributors to my campaign

22
00:00:55,100 --> 00:00:58,189
and people I need
to suck up to.

23
00:00:58,210 --> 00:01:01,159
Uh, how about the people
that I want to invite?

24
00:01:01,179 --> 00:01:04,129
- Like who?
- Uh, how about my mom?

25
00:01:05,099 --> 00:01:06,219
Oops.

26
00:01:07,129 --> 00:01:09,109
[theme song]

27
00:01:09,129 --> 00:01:11,210
♪ Now this is a story
all about how ♪

28
00:01:11,230 --> 00:01:13,269
♪ My life got flipped
turned upside down ♪

29
00:01:13,289 --> 00:01:16,109
♪ And I'd like to take a minute
just sit right there ♪

30
00:01:16,129 --> 00:01:17,200
♪ I'll tell you
how I became the prince ♪

31
00:01:17,219 --> 00:01:19,219
♪ Of a town called bel-air ♪

32
00:01:28,030 --> 00:01:30,200
♪ In West Philadelphia
born and raised ♪

33
00:01:30,219 --> 00:01:33,099
♪ On the playground is where
I spent most of my days ♪

34
00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:35,099
♪ Chillin' out maxin'
relaxin' all cool ♪

35
00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:37,200
♪ And all shootin' some b-ball
outside of the school ♪

36
00:01:37,219 --> 00:01:40,140
♪ When a couple of guys
who were up to no good ♪

37
00:01:40,159 --> 00:01:42,129
♪ Started makin' trouble
in my neighborhood ♪

38
00:01:42,150 --> 00:01:44,280
♪ I got in one little fight
and my mom got scared ♪

39
00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:46,060
♪ And said you're movin'
with your auntie ♪

40
00:01:46,079 --> 00:01:47,170
♪ And uncle in Bel-Air ♪

41
00:01:47,189 --> 00:01:49,170
♪ I whistled for a cab
and when it came near ♪

42
00:01:49,189 --> 00:01:52,049
♪ The license plate said fresh
and it had dice in the mirror ♪

43
00:01:52,069 --> 00:01:54,099
♪ If anything I can say
that this cab was rare ♪

44
00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:58,109
♪ But I thought nah forget it
yo holmes to Bel-Air ♪

45
00:01:58,129 --> 00:02:01,140
♪ I pulled up to a house
about seven or eight ♪

46
00:02:01,159 --> 00:02:04,099
♪ And I yelled to the cabbie
yo holmes smell you later ♪

47
00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:06,120
♪ I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there ♪

48
00:02:06,140 --> 00:02:09,250
♪ To sit on my throne
as the prince of Bel-Air ♪

49
00:02:23,229 --> 00:02:26,039
(Will)
'Uncle Phil, the thing is
we-we really didn't expect'

50
00:02:26,060 --> 00:02:27,219
all of these people, I thought
we said that we were gonna

51
00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:29,039
have the wedding in the garden.

52
00:02:29,060 --> 00:02:30,180
It is gonna be
in the garden, Will.

53
00:02:30,199 --> 00:02:32,039
The garden at the
Bel-Air Country Club.

54
00:02:32,060 --> 00:02:34,219
Uh, gee, you know, I-I kind of
miss the good old days

55
00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:36,229
when you were against
this wedding.

56
00:02:36,250 --> 00:02:39,060
[chuckles]
Ah, I see the problem.

57
00:02:39,079 --> 00:02:42,090
See, you're under the impression
that this wedding is for you.

58
00:02:42,110 --> 00:02:45,060
[southern accent]
Oh, what the hell
was I thinkin'?

59
00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:48,240
Get this straight, son..

60
00:02:48,259 --> 00:02:50,229
...my cash, my party.

61
00:02:50,250 --> 00:02:54,000
And I'm going to network
like it's 1999.

62
00:02:56,189 --> 00:03:00,169
G, does anybody
in this house care what I want?

63
00:03:00,189 --> 00:03:01,250
No.

64
00:03:07,069 --> 00:03:08,219
What are you guys doing?

65
00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:11,020
Hilary's being audited
by the IRS.

66
00:03:11,039 --> 00:03:12,099
Thanks to you.

67
00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:13,180
Carlton said he could
save me money

68
00:03:13,199 --> 00:03:15,099
so I let him do my taxes.

69
00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:17,050
Relax, I'll take care of it.

70
00:03:17,069 --> 00:03:19,000
I don't understand any of this.

71
00:03:19,020 --> 00:03:20,090
I have money invested
in companies

72
00:03:20,110 --> 00:03:22,050
I've never even heard of.

73
00:03:22,069 --> 00:03:25,060
- Like what?
- Like Carlton Co.

74
00:03:26,259 --> 00:03:28,240
I said I'll take care of it.

75
00:03:28,259 --> 00:03:30,009
Look, I don't wanna scare
you

76
00:03:30,030 --> 00:03:32,199
but these bureaucrats
are heartless.

77
00:03:32,219 --> 00:03:33,289
Well, what should I do?

78
00:03:34,009 --> 00:03:36,129
Smile, be polite
and wear a spandex dress

79
00:03:36,150 --> 00:03:39,020
that makes them sit up and say,
"Aye, chihuahua."

80
00:03:42,150 --> 00:03:44,210
Carlton, that's terrible,
Hilary would never

81
00:03:44,229 --> 00:03:46,079
degrade herself like that.

82
00:03:46,099 --> 00:03:48,110
Absolutely not.

83
00:03:48,129 --> 00:03:51,060
[sighs]
I'll wear leather.

84
00:03:53,020 --> 00:03:54,139
Why don't you just wear
hot pants

85
00:03:54,159 --> 00:03:56,270
and a bustier with two
big cones on it?

86
00:03:56,289 --> 00:03:59,129
Before Memorial Day? Pfft!

87
00:03:59,150 --> 00:04:02,180
[instrumental music]

88
00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:05,169
- Huh? Whoo!
- Oh.

89
00:04:05,189 --> 00:04:07,110
I don't want you to worry, baby.

90
00:04:07,129 --> 00:04:09,020
It's your wedding,
so you two should get

91
00:04:09,039 --> 00:04:10,139
exactly what you want.

92
00:04:10,159 --> 00:04:12,060
Besides,
it's the father of the bride

93
00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:13,159
who throws the wedding.

94
00:04:13,180 --> 00:04:15,110
So, I-I'll set Will's
uncle straight.

95
00:04:15,129 --> 00:04:16,259
- Right.
- Oh, thank you, daddy.

96
00:04:16,279 --> 00:04:18,170
- Oh.
- Mwah!

97
00:04:18,189 --> 00:04:20,180
Yeah, thank you, daddy.

98
00:04:23,029 --> 00:04:25,230
Uh, I was raised in France.
You know, we..

99
00:04:26,230 --> 00:04:29,019
Oh, hey, here's the man now.

100
00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:30,129
- What's up, Uncle Phil?
- Hey, son.

101
00:04:30,149 --> 00:04:32,009
Uncle Phil, this is Lisa's
father, Fred.

102
00:04:32,029 --> 00:04:33,159
Oh, so this is Fred.

103
00:04:33,180 --> 00:04:34,240
It's a pleasure
to finally meet you.

104
00:04:34,259 --> 00:04:36,110
- Oh, same here.
- Cool.

105
00:04:36,129 --> 00:04:38,019
Enough of the small talk.
Look, uh..

106
00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:41,029
Fred has something
t-that he wants to say to you.

107
00:04:41,050 --> 00:04:43,199
Right?
You know, about the garden?

108
00:04:43,220 --> 00:04:46,110
Oh, yes, Phil,
your garden is beautiful.

109
00:04:46,129 --> 00:04:48,120
What are these, perennials?

110
00:04:48,139 --> 00:04:50,279
Those are flowers, Fred.

111
00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:55,209
You know, like a bride
carries at a wedding.

112
00:04:55,230 --> 00:04:57,259
Oh, that reminds me, Will,
I was at the club

113
00:04:57,279 --> 00:05:00,069
so I put down
a deposit on the rose garden.

114
00:05:00,089 --> 00:05:01,250
We're all set.

115
00:05:06,110 --> 00:05:07,279
You know, now would be
as good a time as any.

116
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:09,279
Just dive right in here.

117
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:13,129
Ladies and gentlemen, Fred.

118
00:05:13,149 --> 00:05:15,230
That's might generous of you,
Phil, but as the father

119
00:05:15,250 --> 00:05:18,230
of the bride,
I'll take care of the wedding.

120
00:05:18,250 --> 00:05:22,019
[chuckles]
I understand where you're
coming from, Fred

121
00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:24,180
but since I have to invite
several hundred guests

122
00:05:24,199 --> 00:05:26,019
I think it's only fair
that I shoulder

123
00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:28,089
the financial
responsibility.

124
00:05:29,100 --> 00:05:31,120
Well, I appreciate that, Phil

125
00:05:31,139 --> 00:05:33,090
but I've been talking
with the kids and it seems to me

126
00:05:33,110 --> 00:05:36,090
that they have their hearts set
on something a little smaller.

127
00:05:36,110 --> 00:05:39,120
- You go, Fred.
- Like family and friends.

128
00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:41,040
- Go, Fred.
- In a garden.

129
00:05:41,060 --> 00:05:42,230
- Go, Fred.
- In Cleveland.

130
00:05:42,250 --> 00:05:45,000
Whoa, Fred.

131
00:05:45,019 --> 00:05:47,079
[instrumental music]

132
00:05:47,100 --> 00:05:50,040
What was I thinking
wearing this outfit?

133
00:05:51,069 --> 00:05:53,079
I look like a call girl.

134
00:05:53,100 --> 00:05:56,110
But a very expensive call girl.

135
00:05:57,209 --> 00:05:59,029
Thanks.

136
00:05:59,050 --> 00:06:01,040
Oh, but this just doesn't
feel right.

137
00:06:01,060 --> 00:06:05,089
Well, Hilary,
y-you can't leave.

138
00:06:05,110 --> 00:06:07,129
There's something
I haven't told you.

139
00:06:07,149 --> 00:06:09,100
You could go to prison for this.

140
00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:12,170
Oh, that's ridiculous,
it isn't that short.

141
00:06:14,069 --> 00:06:15,180
Hilary, grow up, we're dealing

142
00:06:15,199 --> 00:06:17,189
with the United States
government here.

143
00:06:17,209 --> 00:06:20,100
Now hike up that skirt, sister.

144
00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:22,110
Move it.

145
00:06:22,129 --> 00:06:24,160
I'm waiting.

146
00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:28,040
[grunts]

147
00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:34,110
Oh, excuse me, when will
Agent Dailey be with us?

148
00:06:34,129 --> 00:06:36,110
I'm Agent Dailey.

149
00:06:38,259 --> 00:06:42,029
Well, this is a serious
waste
of a Wonderbra.

150
00:06:45,139 --> 00:06:47,069
And for a talk show hostess

151
00:06:47,090 --> 00:06:51,069
a home gymnasium is a
justifiable business expense.

152
00:06:51,090 --> 00:06:54,159
What about you, Mr. Banks,
do you work out?

153
00:06:54,180 --> 00:06:56,060
Uh..

154
00:06:56,079 --> 00:06:58,110
Well, I try to keep fit.

155
00:07:00,139 --> 00:07:02,290
Looks to me like you succeeded.

156
00:07:03,170 --> 00:07:04,220
Ooh.

157
00:07:06,079 --> 00:07:09,009
I could use something cold to
drink. Can I get you
anything?

158
00:07:09,029 --> 00:07:11,240
- Uh, nothing for me.
- Well, I'll have a..

159
00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:18,100
What an odd duck.

160
00:07:19,180 --> 00:07:21,069
She's just not focusing.

161
00:07:21,089 --> 00:07:24,019
Oh, she's focusing, alright,
on your chest.

162
00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:25,269
I mean, as unbelievable
and disgusting

163
00:07:25,290 --> 00:07:28,149
as it sounds, she wants you.

164
00:07:30,069 --> 00:07:32,199
That's ridiculous.

165
00:07:32,220 --> 00:07:34,209
You know,
this audit is a lot more

166
00:07:34,230 --> 00:07:36,170
complicated than I expected.

167
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:39,029
Perhaps, we should continue
this tomorrow.

168
00:07:39,050 --> 00:07:42,000
Oh, but tomorrow's Sunday.
I'm getting a chemical peel.

169
00:07:43,180 --> 00:07:45,290
Oh, can't miss that.

170
00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:49,220
Mr. Banks and I
can handle this without you.

171
00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:51,120
- We can?
- Yes.

172
00:07:51,139 --> 00:07:56,019
I wanna just get together
and crunch some numbers.

173
00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:57,250
[laughing]

174
00:08:00,250 --> 00:08:02,189
You know, Phil,
i-it sounds to me like

175
00:08:02,209 --> 00:08:04,170
you don't think
my hometown is good enough

176
00:08:04,189 --> 00:08:07,040
for you and your
ritzy friends.

177
00:08:09,009 --> 00:08:12,230
Hey, man, why you ain't tell me
you invited the Ritzy's?

178
00:08:15,009 --> 00:08:17,279
Fred, let me simplify
this for you.

179
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:20,120
Now, ha, ha,
if flying out here

180
00:08:20,139 --> 00:08:22,110
is a problem
for you and your guests

181
00:08:22,129 --> 00:08:24,290
don't worry about it,
it's on me.

182
00:08:25,009 --> 00:08:26,230
I'm gonna be on you too,
you keep throwing

183
00:08:26,250 --> 00:08:30,079
your money in my face,
you fat cat.

184
00:08:30,100 --> 00:08:31,220
Okay. Ding, ding, ding!

185
00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:34,159
All sumo wrestlers
to the showers!

186
00:08:37,210 --> 00:08:40,289
I'll have you know, I put
$10,000 aside for this wedding.

187
00:08:41,009 --> 00:08:43,129
Please, that wouldn't even cover
the invitations.

188
00:08:43,149 --> 00:08:44,169
Okay, okay.

189
00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:47,200
♪ Kumbaya my Lord ♪

190
00:08:47,220 --> 00:08:49,240
♪ Everybody Kumbaya ♪

191
00:08:49,259 --> 00:08:53,070
Now, there is nothing wrong
with bein' a hardworkin' man.

192
00:08:53,090 --> 00:08:54,240
Have you ever done
an honest day's work?

193
00:08:54,259 --> 00:08:57,009
I happen to be a judge.

194
00:08:57,029 --> 00:08:58,279
I'll take that as a no.

195
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:00,129
Now, just wait a minute,
you guys.

196
00:09:00,149 --> 00:09:02,090
Yeah, this thing's getting
completely outta hand.

197
00:09:02,110 --> 00:09:03,139
You just stay out of this, Will.

198
00:09:03,159 --> 00:09:05,019
Yeah, this does not concern you.

199
00:09:05,039 --> 00:09:08,070
And you, you can forget
about coming to Cleveland.

200
00:09:08,090 --> 00:09:10,149
Because a big soft marshmallow
man like you

201
00:09:10,169 --> 00:09:12,190
you wouldn't last
five seconds.

202
00:09:12,210 --> 00:09:14,029
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

203
00:09:14,049 --> 00:09:15,139
Oh, yeah?

204
00:09:15,159 --> 00:09:16,200
Well, I'd like to see you
try to fit in

205
00:09:16,220 --> 00:09:18,139
down at the Country Club

206
00:09:18,159 --> 00:09:20,039
crushing beer cans on your head

207
00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:23,279
tellin' everybody why Sears
is the place to buy tires.

208
00:09:25,100 --> 00:09:27,250
Oh, I know you don't wanna talk
about tires.

209
00:09:27,269 --> 00:09:30,009
Oh, no, you don't.
You wanna take this outside?

210
00:09:30,029 --> 00:09:31,220
- 'We are outside.'
- 'Fine.'

211
00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:34,250
- 'You wanna take it inside?'
- 'Inside and upstairs..'

212
00:09:34,269 --> 00:09:37,159
[instrumental music]

213
00:09:37,179 --> 00:09:39,179
[doorbell rings]

214
00:09:41,059 --> 00:09:43,210
(Geoffrey)
'I'm coming!'

215
00:09:44,289 --> 00:09:46,240
Coming.

216
00:09:47,129 --> 00:09:49,009
Just my luck.

217
00:09:49,029 --> 00:09:51,120
Whitney Houston and I
had just survived

218
00:09:51,139 --> 00:09:54,070
a nuclear holocaust.

219
00:09:54,090 --> 00:09:58,110
And now I was the last man
on Earth.

220
00:09:58,129 --> 00:10:00,269
- What is going on?
- Where's Mr. Moneybags?

221
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:02,210
Hey, what do you mean
by disturbing my family

222
00:10:02,230 --> 00:10:03,269
this early in the morning?

223
00:10:03,289 --> 00:10:05,039
You call 5:30 early?

224
00:10:05,059 --> 00:10:07,080
Hell, the day is half gone.

225
00:10:07,100 --> 00:10:08,169
And so is my little girl.

226
00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:10,240
- What are you talking about?
- Here.

227
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:16,159
- Oh, my God.
- What is it?

228
00:10:16,179 --> 00:10:18,259
Will and Lisa have run off
to Las Vegas.

229
00:10:18,279 --> 00:10:21,000
They've eloped.

230
00:10:21,019 --> 00:10:23,070
Well, goodnight.

231
00:10:30,190 --> 00:10:31,279
Forget it, Hilary.

232
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,159
There's no way
I'm gonna cheapen myself

233
00:10:33,179 --> 00:10:36,259
to satisfy the urges of that
she-devil down at the IRS.

234
00:10:36,279 --> 00:10:38,230
Excuse me,
but aren't you the guy

235
00:10:38,250 --> 00:10:40,059
who ran his picture
in the personals

236
00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:43,129
with the word "please"
written under it.

237
00:10:43,149 --> 00:10:45,220
Hey, I met a nice gal
through that ad.

238
00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:48,059
In-in some cultures,
it's considered a real
turn-on

239
00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:50,149
for a woman to have
a sloped forehead.

240
00:10:52,139 --> 00:10:54,070
Oh. Did you guys hear?

241
00:10:54,090 --> 00:10:56,080
- Will and Lisa eloped.
- Really?

242
00:10:56,100 --> 00:10:58,159
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Carlton, if you don't do this

243
00:10:58,179 --> 00:11:01,009
I'm gonna tell daddy
all about Carlton Co.

244
00:11:01,029 --> 00:11:03,269
Fine. N-next time
you wanna sit up all night

245
00:11:03,289 --> 00:11:06,039
and girl talk, don't call
me.

246
00:11:07,190 --> 00:11:10,080
[sighs]
I'm definitely
the Marilyn Munster

247
00:11:10,100 --> 00:11:12,009
of this family.

248
00:11:12,029 --> 00:11:14,029
You know, this is
all your fault, Fred.

249
00:11:14,049 --> 00:11:15,169
If you'd just
listened to those kids

250
00:11:15,190 --> 00:11:16,289
they probably wouldn't
have run off.

251
00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:18,289
Me? You're the one
that wanted them

252
00:11:19,009 --> 00:11:22,080
to get married
in a damn sand trap.

253
00:11:22,100 --> 00:11:24,179
The Bel-Air Country Club
does not happen to be a..

254
00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:27,070
Excuse me, excuse me
for interrupting

255
00:11:27,090 --> 00:11:30,129
but don't you think it's time
for you two to call a truce?

256
00:11:30,149 --> 00:11:32,009
Both of your kids are married.

257
00:11:32,029 --> 00:11:34,120
Like it or not,
we're all family now.

258
00:11:39,279 --> 00:11:42,090
You know..

259
00:11:42,110 --> 00:11:44,049
...she's right, Fred.

260
00:11:44,070 --> 00:11:45,279
Yeah, I'm sorry.

261
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:48,200
My poor Yvonne,
she always wanted Lisa

262
00:11:48,220 --> 00:11:50,100
to get married
in a big church wedding.

263
00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:53,049
She's probably turning
in her grave right now.

264
00:11:53,070 --> 00:11:54,259
You're lucky she's dead.

265
00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:57,139
What?

266
00:11:57,159 --> 00:12:00,049
Uh, uh, I mean,
my wife is still alive.

267
00:12:00,070 --> 00:12:02,000
What?

268
00:12:02,019 --> 00:12:05,000
She's gonna kill me
when she finds out about this.

269
00:12:05,019 --> 00:12:06,019
Ah.

270
00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:11,009
You want a beer?

271
00:12:11,029 --> 00:12:13,220
Actually, I'd prefer
a white wine spritzer.

272
00:12:15,070 --> 00:12:18,110
Oh, I'm sorry
we weren't at the wedding

273
00:12:18,129 --> 00:12:20,200
but, you know,
two kids running off

274
00:12:20,220 --> 00:12:22,090
in the middle of the night
like that.

275
00:12:22,110 --> 00:12:26,019
- Kind of romantic, huh? Ha, ha.
- Yeah, and a whole lot cheaper.

276
00:12:26,039 --> 00:12:27,019
Hey.

277
00:12:27,039 --> 00:12:29,200
[both laugh]

278
00:12:29,220 --> 00:12:32,090
Right this way.

279
00:12:32,110 --> 00:12:34,120
[both giggling]

280
00:12:36,179 --> 00:12:37,289
Hey, now, this is more like it.

281
00:12:38,009 --> 00:12:39,169
Ain't no way I was getting
married at a place

282
00:12:39,190 --> 00:12:42,139
called Temple Emanuel L. Lewis.

283
00:12:42,159 --> 00:12:45,039
Welcome to the Chapel of Soul.

284
00:12:45,059 --> 00:12:47,200
I'm Angela and I'll be
your wedding coordinator.

285
00:12:47,220 --> 00:12:49,070
Can you dig it?

286
00:12:49,090 --> 00:12:51,210
[Angela laughs]

287
00:12:51,230 --> 00:12:55,200
Well, let's rap about
the kind of ceremony you want.

288
00:12:55,220 --> 00:12:57,179
Did you hear that, baby?
It's about what we want.

289
00:12:57,200 --> 00:13:00,169
Oh, yeah, that's right,
power to the people up in here.

290
00:13:02,039 --> 00:13:04,230
We offer a number of
packages here.

291
00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:06,169
Groove on this.

292
00:13:08,129 --> 00:13:10,110
Oh! Ooh, this is the bomb.

293
00:13:10,129 --> 00:13:11,269
Oh, I knew I liked this place.

294
00:13:11,289 --> 00:13:14,110
Baby, look, they got a
package
on my all-time idol.

295
00:13:14,129 --> 00:13:15,220
Who's that?

296
00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:17,080
"Who's the black private
dick
who's a sex machine

297
00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:18,120
to all the chicks?"

298
00:13:18,139 --> 00:13:20,009
- Shaft?
- You're damn right.

299
00:13:20,029 --> 00:13:21,279
Ha-ha-ha.

300
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:26,080
Oh, baby, he's been my idol
ever since I was a kid.

301
00:13:26,100 --> 00:13:27,210
C-can we have this one?

302
00:13:27,230 --> 00:13:29,070
Baby, can we have
the Shaft package, please?

303
00:13:29,090 --> 00:13:31,080
Can we please do that one,
baby, please?

304
00:13:31,100 --> 00:13:35,220
Well, okay, baby, but I don't
wanna be given away by the pimp.

305
00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:38,149
But, baby,
that's what makes the whole..

306
00:13:38,169 --> 00:13:40,029
Al-alright, alright.

307
00:13:40,049 --> 00:13:41,179
[Lisa laughs]

308
00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:42,289
Give us the Shaft.

309
00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:47,129
Well, Hilary's investments
were primarily

310
00:13:47,149 --> 00:13:50,059
in mutual funds and stocks
although..

311
00:13:54,059 --> 00:13:59,070
...in November, she sold off
a number of hairs, uh, shares.

312
00:13:59,090 --> 00:14:02,059
Now, if-if you'll refer
to form 2106..

313
00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:05,289
I'm having a little trouble
reading my copy.

314
00:14:06,009 --> 00:14:08,139
Well, maybe
if you turned on a light.

315
00:14:10,070 --> 00:14:12,190
Why don't I just share
yours?

316
00:14:12,210 --> 00:14:17,029
Carlton, this whole audit
can be resolved very quickly.

317
00:14:17,049 --> 00:14:20,100
All you have to do is cooperate.

318
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,220
What are you doing?

319
00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:29,149
Nobody has to know,
nobody gets hurt.

320
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:41,230
You're busted, lady.

321
00:14:41,250 --> 00:14:44,029
If you don't sign this form
exonerating Hilary

322
00:14:44,049 --> 00:14:46,120
I'll sue you
for sexual harassment.

323
00:14:46,139 --> 00:14:49,190
Just try. You have no idea
what you're up against.

324
00:14:49,210 --> 00:14:50,250
Neither do you.

325
00:14:50,269 --> 00:14:51,289
I thought you might
try something

326
00:14:52,009 --> 00:14:53,279
so I took precautions.

327
00:14:58,129 --> 00:15:01,009
That was a tape recorder?

328
00:15:04,129 --> 00:15:06,129
That's right.

329
00:15:06,149 --> 00:15:07,269
I have the whole
sordid encounter

330
00:15:07,289 --> 00:15:09,210
right here on tape, Dailey.

331
00:15:09,230 --> 00:15:12,090
You're dilly-dallying days
are done.

332
00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:15,009
Dork.

333
00:15:22,179 --> 00:15:24,039
Will?

334
00:15:24,059 --> 00:15:25,220
Does this look silly?

335
00:15:32,100 --> 00:15:34,149
What are you talking about,
baby?

336
00:15:34,169 --> 00:15:37,120
- You look beautiful.
- Aww. Ha, ha.

337
00:15:41,289 --> 00:15:45,259
This is exactly
how I pictured my wedding.

338
00:15:45,279 --> 00:15:48,080
Well, more or less.

339
00:15:48,100 --> 00:15:53,120
Will, Lisa,
your Shaft wedding extravaganza

340
00:15:53,139 --> 00:15:55,169
is ready to begin.

341
00:15:55,190 --> 00:15:58,149
Solid, let's get it on.

342
00:15:58,169 --> 00:16:00,080
Oh, wait, hold on, baby.

343
00:16:01,169 --> 00:16:02,279
I wrote my own vows.

344
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:05,240
Oh, Will, I can't wait
to hear them.

345
00:16:11,210 --> 00:16:14,279
[Isaac Hayes "Shaft"
instrumental]

346
00:16:19,070 --> 00:16:21,090
[gasping]

347
00:16:37,159 --> 00:16:39,159
Come, my children.

348
00:16:57,259 --> 00:16:59,159
[Lisa giggles]

349
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:04,289
♪ Who's the black Philly man
that's gonna ♪

350
00:17:05,009 --> 00:17:08,089
♪ Take this fine woman's hand? ♪

351
00:17:08,109 --> 00:17:10,019
♪ Smith ♪

352
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:13,109
That's fine, that's me.

353
00:17:13,130 --> 00:17:18,059
♪ You're damn right ♪

354
00:17:18,079 --> 00:17:22,000
♪ Who is the man that's got
some vows in his hand ♪

355
00:17:22,019 --> 00:17:23,210
♪ To tell his woman? ♪

356
00:17:23,230 --> 00:17:26,250
♪ Will Smith ♪

357
00:17:26,269 --> 00:17:29,009
♪ Can you dig it? ♪

358
00:17:34,029 --> 00:17:35,140
"Lisa..

359
00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:39,059
"...you're my sun, my moon,
my stars.

360
00:17:39,079 --> 00:17:41,150
"You're my whole universe.

361
00:17:41,170 --> 00:17:43,289
"You make me feel complete.

362
00:17:44,009 --> 00:17:46,049
I wanna be with you
forever.."

363
00:17:46,069 --> 00:17:47,240
♪ Smith ♪

364
00:17:47,259 --> 00:17:50,119
♪ Sure enough ♪

365
00:17:50,140 --> 00:17:52,150
Right. Um..

366
00:17:52,170 --> 00:17:54,140
"From the first time
I saw you

367
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:57,059
"I knew that I wanted
to be with you always.

368
00:17:57,079 --> 00:18:00,160
I knew that I wanted
to hold you and love you.."

369
00:18:00,180 --> 00:18:02,009
♪ Smith ♪

370
00:18:02,029 --> 00:18:04,190
♪ Will Smith yeah ♪

371
00:18:08,119 --> 00:18:09,230
Right on.

372
00:18:09,250 --> 00:18:11,170
Alright. Um..

373
00:18:11,190 --> 00:18:15,039
♪ They say this cat Smith
is a bad mother.. ♪

374
00:18:15,059 --> 00:18:18,049
Shut your mouth.

375
00:18:18,069 --> 00:18:19,259
♪ Well they talking about you ♪

376
00:18:19,279 --> 00:18:22,019
Can I do this, please?

377
00:18:24,099 --> 00:18:27,000
Um, where was I? Uh,
"Lisa.."

378
00:18:27,019 --> 00:18:28,279
♪ You're a complicated man ♪

379
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:32,180
♪ There's no one who
understands you but your woman ♪

380
00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:34,079
♪ Will Smith ♪

381
00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:37,240
[sighs]

382
00:18:40,279 --> 00:18:42,259
Look, Lisa,
what I'm trying to say is..

383
00:18:42,279 --> 00:18:45,279
[whooping]

384
00:18:48,119 --> 00:18:50,259
Alright, that's enough!

385
00:18:50,279 --> 00:18:53,000
[whooping]

386
00:18:54,150 --> 00:18:56,069
That's it!

387
00:18:56,089 --> 00:18:59,079
Look, Lisa,
baby, I'm telling you..

388
00:18:59,099 --> 00:19:02,069
...I want to marry you,
but definitely not like
this.

389
00:19:02,089 --> 00:19:04,240
Right on, Will.

390
00:19:04,259 --> 00:19:06,200
Oh, by the way, dude

391
00:19:06,220 --> 00:19:09,009
your Isaac Hayes
impression stinks.

392
00:19:10,210 --> 00:19:13,210
I don't know,
I-I thought it was pretty good.

393
00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:23,079
I don't understand,
the IRS is just letting me off?

394
00:19:23,099 --> 00:19:25,089
What did you have to do?

395
00:19:25,109 --> 00:19:27,089
I don't wanna hear this.

396
00:19:27,109 --> 00:19:30,000
Don't worry, Ashley, I've done
nothing to be ashamed of.

397
00:19:30,019 --> 00:19:31,220
I blackmailed her.

398
00:19:33,210 --> 00:19:36,000
She was harassing me.
Listen to this.

399
00:19:36,019 --> 00:19:37,240
♪ She'll have fun fun fun ♪

400
00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:40,039
♪ Till her daddy
takes the T-Bird away ♪

401
00:19:40,059 --> 00:19:42,089
♪ Fun fun fun till her da.. ♪♪

402
00:19:42,109 --> 00:19:46,140
Carlton, that's annoying,
but it's not harassment.

403
00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:48,049
Thank God I pressed
the wrong button.

404
00:19:48,069 --> 00:19:51,019
The B-side is John Travolta's
polka classics.

405
00:19:53,029 --> 00:19:55,190
Okay. Okay, thank you.

406
00:19:57,099 --> 00:20:00,190
[sighs]
Phil, I tell you,
this is the life, man.

407
00:20:00,210 --> 00:20:03,150
And that butler of yours
makes one mean sandwich.

408
00:20:03,170 --> 00:20:04,230
What is that, Grey Poupon?

409
00:20:04,250 --> 00:20:06,259
- Mm. You like it?
- Ooh.

410
00:20:06,279 --> 00:20:09,049
Well, I'll see you go home
with a case of it.

411
00:20:09,069 --> 00:20:11,150
- Ha, ha.
- 'Hey, listen to this.'

412
00:20:11,170 --> 00:20:14,230
Now, the country club let me
slide my wedding deposit..

413
00:20:14,250 --> 00:20:16,109
...over to the pro shop.

414
00:20:16,130 --> 00:20:18,190
Now, for five years,
I've had my eye

415
00:20:18,210 --> 00:20:21,099
on one of those,
those turbo driven golf carts.

416
00:20:21,119 --> 00:20:23,039
- Yeah.
- Uh-huh.

417
00:20:23,059 --> 00:20:26,130
So daddy's coming home
with a Turf Buddy.

418
00:20:26,150 --> 00:20:27,289
- Alright.
- Ha, ha.

419
00:20:28,009 --> 00:20:29,250
Man, you made me
think of something.

420
00:20:29,269 --> 00:20:32,200
All my life I wanted
a Harley-Davidson.

421
00:20:32,220 --> 00:20:35,230
And with the $10,000
I'm saving on that wedding..

422
00:20:35,250 --> 00:20:38,000
...I can get the hog of life.

423
00:20:38,019 --> 00:20:40,049
[Fred imitates engine revving]

424
00:20:40,069 --> 00:20:42,099
- Five.
- Fred. Oh, Fred.

425
00:20:42,119 --> 00:20:44,269
- I'll tell you.
- We got some great kids.

426
00:20:44,289 --> 00:20:46,150
Ain't it the truth, huh?

427
00:20:46,170 --> 00:20:48,250
Hey, guys, what's up?
Look, we got good news.

428
00:20:48,269 --> 00:20:51,009
No, we already know,
we read the note.

429
00:20:51,029 --> 00:20:54,039
Oh, you don't get it,
we didn't go through with
it.

430
00:20:57,220 --> 00:21:00,019
Well, you know, it just really
didn't feel right, you know

431
00:21:00,039 --> 00:21:02,170
without all our family
and friends being there.

432
00:21:02,190 --> 00:21:04,109
So hey, we decided
you guys can go ahead

433
00:21:04,130 --> 00:21:06,059
with the traditional
blowout wedding.

434
00:21:06,079 --> 00:21:08,109
- With all the trimmings.
- Yep.

435
00:21:08,130 --> 00:21:10,119
So, uh, Uncle Phil..

436
00:21:10,140 --> 00:21:13,170
...you can fly in all my
boys
and all my boys' boys

437
00:21:13,190 --> 00:21:16,059
and all my boys' boys' boys,
you know what I'm saying?

438
00:21:16,079 --> 00:21:18,119
We're gonna rock that
Bel-Air Country Club so hard

439
00:21:18,140 --> 00:21:20,180
we're gonna have Bob Hope up
in there doing the tootsie roll

440
00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:22,130
you know what I mean?

441
00:21:22,150 --> 00:21:25,119
Ah, well, hear this, son,
you two are gonna get married

442
00:21:25,140 --> 00:21:27,259
right here on this patio
and you're gonna like it.

443
00:21:27,279 --> 00:21:29,259
- But, daddy, we decided--
- Don't worry, baby.

444
00:21:29,279 --> 00:21:31,160
We-we'll get you some cake
and something

445
00:21:31,180 --> 00:21:34,019
to wash it down with.

446
00:21:34,039 --> 00:21:35,279
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We can talk about this.

447
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:38,049
The wedding's not gonna be
till May. Ha, ha.

448
00:21:38,069 --> 00:21:40,170
So, Fred, you wanna
take a spin around the block

449
00:21:40,190 --> 00:21:42,079
in my Turf Buddy?

450
00:21:42,099 --> 00:21:43,240
- I'm there.
- Heh!

451
00:21:43,259 --> 00:21:45,240
Hey, can you pop a wheelie?

452
00:21:48,089 --> 00:21:50,049
Only if he sits on it.

453
00:21:51,180 --> 00:21:53,089
It's like I don't believe
this mess.

454
00:21:53,109 --> 00:21:56,180
I mean, doesn't anybody care
what we want?

455
00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:57,259
Nope.

456
00:22:04,140 --> 00:22:05,180
[theme music]

457
00:22:07,150 --> 00:22:08,210
♪ Yeah ♪

458
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:13,059
♪ Yeah ♪

459
00:22:16,190 --> 00:22:17,250
♪ Yeah ♪

460
00:22:21,059 --> 00:22:22,140
♪ Yeah ♪

461
00:22:25,259 --> 00:22:27,039
♪ Yeah ♪

462
00:22:30,109 --> 00:22:31,269
♪ Yeah ♪