1
00:00:02,020 --> 00:00:04,139
Oh. Hey, Ash, guess what.

2
00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:06,099
Me and Lisa finally
set the date.

3
00:00:06,120 --> 00:00:07,230
We're getting married
in September.

4
00:00:07,250 --> 00:00:09,179
Oh, Will, that's great.

5
00:00:09,199 --> 00:00:11,070
Hey, listen,
I even bought the ring too.

6
00:00:11,089 --> 00:00:13,289
Really? How many carats?

7
00:00:14,009 --> 00:00:16,149
Come on, Ash,
it's not the size that counts.

8
00:00:18,260 --> 00:00:20,100
That small, huh?

9
00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:22,129
Well, I-I mean,
I-I-I didn't get the ring

10
00:00:22,149 --> 00:00:24,179
I wanted to get, you know.

11
00:00:24,199 --> 00:00:28,230
I-I couldn't afford
the real cubic zirconia.

12
00:00:28,250 --> 00:00:31,260
Hey, but check it out.
Presentation is everything.

13
00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:34,000
Check it out. Yo, G.

14
00:00:34,020 --> 00:00:36,250
I had Geoffrey bake the ring
inside of her favorite cookie.

15
00:00:36,270 --> 00:00:38,000
Aww.

16
00:00:38,020 --> 00:00:41,240
Nothin' says lovin' like
somethin' from the oven.

17
00:00:41,259 --> 00:00:45,020
- And Will Smith says it best.
- Hey, that looks great, G.

18
00:00:45,039 --> 00:00:47,170
- It certainly does.
- Uncle Phil!

19
00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:50,030
[theme song]

20
00:00:50,049 --> 00:00:53,250
♪ Now this is a story all about
how my life got flipped ♪

21
00:00:53,270 --> 00:00:56,049
♪ Turned upside-down
and I'd like to take a minute ♪

22
00:00:56,070 --> 00:00:58,189
♪ Just sit right there I'll tell
you how I became the prince ♪

23
00:00:58,210 --> 00:01:00,270
♪ Of a town called Bel-Air ♪

24
00:01:09,039 --> 00:01:11,219
♪ In West Philadelphia
born and raised ♪

25
00:01:11,239 --> 00:01:14,109
♪ On the playground is where
I spent most of my days ♪

26
00:01:14,129 --> 00:01:16,120
♪ Chillin' out maxin'
relaxin' all cool ♪

27
00:01:16,140 --> 00:01:18,289
♪ And all shootin' some b-ball
outside of the school ♪

28
00:01:19,010 --> 00:01:21,090
♪ When a couple of guys
who were up to no good ♪

29
00:01:21,109 --> 00:01:23,159
♪ Started makin' trouble
in my neighborhood ♪

30
00:01:23,180 --> 00:01:26,069
♪ I got in one little fight
and my mom got scared and said ♪

31
00:01:26,090 --> 00:01:28,170
♪ You're moving with your auntie
and uncle in Bel-Air ♪

32
00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:30,159
♪ I whistled for a cab
and when it came near ♪

33
00:01:30,180 --> 00:01:33,140
♪ The license plate said fresh
and it had dice in the mirror ♪

34
00:01:33,159 --> 00:01:35,109
♪ If anything I can say
that this cab was rare ♪

35
00:01:35,129 --> 00:01:39,140
♪ But I thought nah forget it
yo holmes to Bel-Air ♪

36
00:01:39,159 --> 00:01:42,180
♪ I pulled up to a house
about seven or eight ♪

37
00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:45,109
♪ And I yelled to the cabbie
yo holmes smell you later ♪

38
00:01:45,129 --> 00:01:47,159
♪ Looked at my kingdom
I was finally there ♪

39
00:01:47,180 --> 00:01:50,099
♪ To sit on my throne
as the prince of Bel-Air ♪♪

40
00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:05,129
[fast forward video on TV]

41
00:02:12,099 --> 00:02:14,259
What y'all watching,
a Rosie Perez movie?

42
00:02:17,110 --> 00:02:20,009
I wish, Hilary gave us a tape
of her talk show

43
00:02:20,030 --> 00:02:21,069
and made us promise to watch.

44
00:02:21,090 --> 00:02:22,120
It's been on for three
minutes

45
00:02:22,139 --> 00:02:24,139
and we're almost done.

46
00:02:24,159 --> 00:02:26,189
[fast forward video on TV]

47
00:02:40,090 --> 00:02:41,259
Oh, uh..

48
00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:42,280
I-it's nothing, babe, you know

49
00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:43,289
it's that thong underwear

50
00:02:44,009 --> 00:02:45,030
you bought me for Christmas.

51
00:02:45,050 --> 00:02:47,030
[mumbles]

52
00:02:47,050 --> 00:02:48,189
What's up, girl? Mwah!

53
00:02:48,210 --> 00:02:50,079
I just wanted to come over
and say

54
00:02:50,099 --> 00:02:51,150
thank you
for fixing my sink.

55
00:02:51,170 --> 00:02:53,120
- Oh, cool.
- Um, baby.

56
00:02:53,139 --> 00:02:56,090
How about meeting me
for a little midnight swim?

57
00:02:56,110 --> 00:02:58,129
Ooh. You got that, baby.

58
00:02:58,150 --> 00:03:00,240
- Where?
- My living room.

59
00:03:00,259 --> 00:03:02,159
Thanks to you,
my whole apartment is
flooded.

60
00:03:02,180 --> 00:03:04,180
It will be days
until I can get back in there.

61
00:03:04,199 --> 00:03:06,039
Oh, I-I'm, I'm sorry, baby.

62
00:03:06,060 --> 00:03:08,030
I'm, I'm usually pretty handy
with stuff like that.

63
00:03:08,050 --> 00:03:10,229
Tell her, y'all.
Didn't I just fix the toaster?

64
00:03:10,250 --> 00:03:12,219
[toaster dings]

65
00:03:17,050 --> 00:03:20,210
See? Before it wouldn't even
get past the door.

66
00:03:22,060 --> 00:03:24,159
Thanks, Will, in the
morning,
I'll set it on dark

67
00:03:24,180 --> 00:03:26,259
and it will meet me at
school.

68
00:03:28,009 --> 00:03:29,180
Maybe I should just call
my friend Denise

69
00:03:29,199 --> 00:03:30,280
and see if I can
stay over there.

70
00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:32,020
What you talking about, girl?

71
00:03:32,039 --> 00:03:34,099
You can stay in the pool house
with us.

72
00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:35,259
Carlton, is that okay with you?

73
00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:38,069
Are you kidding? Sure.

74
00:03:39,139 --> 00:03:41,250
I love a good old-fashioned
sleepover.

75
00:03:41,270 --> 00:03:43,240
What say we rent a musical

76
00:03:43,259 --> 00:03:48,079
pop some corn and after that,
dare I say, Yahtzee?

77
00:03:50,099 --> 00:03:52,020
Dare I say..

78
00:03:52,039 --> 00:03:53,099
Ow!

79
00:03:56,020 --> 00:04:00,259
Geoffrey, you look wonderful.
Is that a new suit?

80
00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:03,189
It was, 20 years ago.

81
00:04:03,210 --> 00:04:05,219
[laughing]

82
00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:09,000
Oh, that's funny.

83
00:04:09,020 --> 00:04:10,099
Oh, since I moved out

84
00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:14,139
I have really missed
your sense of humor, Geoffrey.

85
00:04:14,159 --> 00:04:16,209
Your wit.

86
00:04:16,230 --> 00:04:18,279
Your charm.

87
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:20,259
Your wit.

88
00:04:21,220 --> 00:04:23,060
Your..

89
00:04:23,079 --> 00:04:26,050
Oh, who are we kidding? I
need
you to come work for me,
okay?

90
00:04:26,069 --> 00:04:28,170
Miss Hilary,
I already have a job.

91
00:04:28,189 --> 00:04:31,170
Well, then, just part-time.
Look, I'm a career woman.

92
00:04:31,189 --> 00:04:35,060
I don't have time
to dust and push around
that..

93
00:04:35,079 --> 00:04:36,220
Oh, what do you call
that big loud thing

94
00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:38,180
that sucks up everything?

95
00:04:40,069 --> 00:04:42,120
You call him daddy.

96
00:04:47,139 --> 00:04:48,170
I-I'm sorry, Miss Hilary

97
00:04:48,189 --> 00:04:50,230
but he'd never allow me
to moonlight.

98
00:04:50,250 --> 00:04:54,170
I'm expected to be on call
for his 3:00 a.m. feeding.

99
00:04:54,189 --> 00:04:56,100
Well, then I'll just use you
in between meals.

100
00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:58,060
Daddy will never even know
you're gone.

101
00:04:58,079 --> 00:05:01,009
Are you suggesting that I
lie?

102
00:05:01,029 --> 00:05:02,230
Big time.

103
00:05:02,250 --> 00:05:04,279
Miss Hilary, I couldn't.

104
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:07,129
I've worked for your father
for 20 years.

105
00:05:07,149 --> 00:05:10,160
He's seen me through
some very hard times.

106
00:05:10,180 --> 00:05:13,209
Even paid for my dear
mother's
cataract surgery.

107
00:05:16,100 --> 00:05:19,290
The extra money could get you
that Beemer.

108
00:05:20,009 --> 00:05:23,110
Well, it's not as if
he gave her a kidney.

109
00:05:26,129 --> 00:05:29,110
[imitating Ricky Ricardo]
Hey, Lucy, I home.

110
00:05:29,129 --> 00:05:31,079
Hey, baby.

111
00:05:31,100 --> 00:05:34,240
No, Lucy, don't even try.
You cannot be in the show.

112
00:05:35,269 --> 00:05:38,240
- Hey, girl. Mwah!
- Mwah!

113
00:05:38,259 --> 00:05:40,019
Man, what is that smell?

114
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:42,279
Oh, it's my chicken stew.

115
00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:45,269
Girl, exactly what part of
that chicken are you
cooking?

116
00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:49,240
Come here, boy,
I want you to taste it.

117
00:05:49,259 --> 00:05:51,199
Why?

118
00:05:51,220 --> 00:05:55,100
I-I-I mean, I'd love to, baby.

119
00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:59,159
- I made it especially for you.
- Oh, thank you.

120
00:06:12,129 --> 00:06:14,199
[coughing]

121
00:06:14,220 --> 00:06:17,009
Oh, damn, I swallowed it!

122
00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:19,199
What?

123
00:06:19,220 --> 00:06:23,230
Oh, and it was
finger-licking
good, baby.

124
00:06:23,250 --> 00:06:25,050
[knocking on door]

125
00:06:25,069 --> 00:06:27,040
- Hi, kids.
- Hey, Mr. Banks.

126
00:06:27,060 --> 00:06:29,050
Do you wanna stay
and join us for dinner?

127
00:06:29,069 --> 00:06:31,240
Uh, no, thank you, Lisa,
as lovely as that stinks..

128
00:06:31,259 --> 00:06:33,259
Uh, uh, smells.

129
00:06:33,279 --> 00:06:35,149
'I wouldn't wanna interrupt.'

130
00:06:35,170 --> 00:06:38,159
I just came over to talk
to you kids about your marriage.

131
00:06:38,180 --> 00:06:40,149
[sighs]
Come on, Uncle Phil. Not again.

132
00:06:40,170 --> 00:06:42,060
Look, we're getting married
in September.

133
00:06:42,079 --> 00:06:43,250
No, no, Will. Come on.
Now, wait a minute.

134
00:06:43,269 --> 00:06:46,090
Now, your aunt and I have
been
talking about this, and..

135
00:06:46,110 --> 00:06:47,290
Well, we just wanna make
sure
that you get off

136
00:06:48,009 --> 00:06:49,250
to the best start possible.

137
00:06:49,269 --> 00:06:52,269
Which is why we're giving you
this little engagement present.

138
00:06:55,230 --> 00:06:58,240
"Note. Buy Reese's Pieces
for desk jar."

139
00:07:01,279 --> 00:07:03,290
Other side.

140
00:07:04,009 --> 00:07:06,000
Oh. My fault.

141
00:07:06,019 --> 00:07:08,160
"Dr. Whitehorn.
Psychologist?"

142
00:07:08,180 --> 00:07:11,120
His specialty
is relationship counseling.

143
00:07:11,139 --> 00:07:13,100
Oh, Mr. Banks,
Will and I are in love.

144
00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:14,290
- We don't need any counseling.
- Yeah.

145
00:07:15,009 --> 00:07:18,209
But I could damn sure go
for some Reese's Pieces.

146
00:07:18,230 --> 00:07:20,170
No. Now, look, look, look, Will.

147
00:07:20,189 --> 00:07:23,170
Look, marriage is difficult
at any age.

148
00:07:23,189 --> 00:07:26,060
Now, all counseling will do
is give you tools you need

149
00:07:26,079 --> 00:07:28,009
to help make
your relationship work.

150
00:07:28,029 --> 00:07:29,220
I mean, you wouldn't drive a car

151
00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:32,199
without taking at least
a few lessons first.

152
00:07:32,220 --> 00:07:35,269
Look here, Uncle Phil,
I'm from Philly.

153
00:07:35,290 --> 00:07:37,120
You know what I'm sayin'?

154
00:07:37,139 --> 00:07:40,019
I was driving when I was 11,
you know.

155
00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:42,060
Of course, that was in the good
old days before The Club.

156
00:07:42,079 --> 00:07:44,000
You know what I'm saying?

157
00:07:44,019 --> 00:07:46,149
That'll put a crimp
in the plans, you know.

158
00:07:46,170 --> 00:07:48,079
Hey, look, Uncle Phil,
hey, thanks a lot, man

159
00:07:48,100 --> 00:07:50,120
but, uh, we both go to school
and we work.

160
00:07:50,139 --> 00:07:51,220
We really don't have time
for that.

161
00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:54,079
Oh, well, that's a shame.

162
00:07:54,100 --> 00:07:56,120
Because I was gonna pay
for your honeymoon

163
00:07:56,139 --> 00:07:58,220
anywhere in the world
you wanted to go.

164
00:08:01,060 --> 00:08:04,009
[grunting]

165
00:08:04,029 --> 00:08:08,040
Hey, baby, what's Swahili
for ching-ching?

166
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:12,180
But, you know, I-I guess
what I'm trying to say is

167
00:08:12,199 --> 00:08:14,170
you know, we don't really
need to be here. We happy.

168
00:08:14,189 --> 00:08:16,089
- Tell him, baby.
- Yes, very happy.

169
00:08:16,110 --> 00:08:19,139
Yeah. Hey, like, y-you know them
little yellow smiley faces?

170
00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:22,129
Just put some Hershey syrup on
them, you got us, you know.

171
00:08:24,060 --> 00:08:26,029
Great, then all I have to do
is give you the skills

172
00:08:26,050 --> 00:08:28,240
you need to maintain
that enthusiasm.

173
00:08:28,259 --> 00:08:29,290
Oh, uh..

174
00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:31,290
...if you mean
what I think you mean

175
00:08:32,009 --> 00:08:34,110
I got skills, you know.

176
00:08:35,269 --> 00:08:37,179
Actually I was talking about
interpersonal

177
00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:39,149
relationship skills.

178
00:08:39,169 --> 00:08:42,049
Oh, yeah, that's what I meant.
That's what I was sayin'.

179
00:08:43,250 --> 00:08:46,080
The two most important being
respect and communication.

180
00:08:46,100 --> 00:08:47,269
You see, it's very
important..

181
00:08:47,289 --> 00:08:52,110
Oh, excuse me.
Dr. Whitehorn. Ugh, it's
you.

182
00:08:52,129 --> 00:08:54,200
Listen, Rita,
you are sucking me dry.

183
00:08:54,220 --> 00:08:57,039
Look, you want more alimony

184
00:08:57,059 --> 00:09:00,000
you talk to my first two wives,
alright?

185
00:09:03,070 --> 00:09:04,110
Never get married on a dare.

186
00:09:04,129 --> 00:09:05,220
[chuckles]

187
00:09:09,029 --> 00:09:11,269
Now, uh, where were we?

188
00:09:11,289 --> 00:09:14,179
Um, respect and communication.

189
00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:16,200
Ah. That's right, that's right,
uh, but look, for now

190
00:09:16,220 --> 00:09:19,159
before tomorrow's group session,
I'd like to ask questions.

191
00:09:19,179 --> 00:09:21,000
Oh, cool, questions.
Knock yourself out.

192
00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:22,159
(Dr. Whitehorn)
'Okay, uh..'

193
00:09:22,179 --> 00:09:24,279
'Where do you see yourselves,
uh, 10 years from now?'

194
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,080
Ah, that's an easy one,
that's an easy one.

195
00:09:26,100 --> 00:09:27,200
Ten years, I see us, you know

196
00:09:27,220 --> 00:09:29,289
kind of like the Huxtables,
you know what I'm sayin'?

197
00:09:30,009 --> 00:09:31,190
Except I'm not gonna be
delivering babies

198
00:09:31,210 --> 00:09:34,059
I'm gonna be making them,
you know what I'm sayin'?

199
00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:37,190
But first, I figure we'd start
out with Will, Jr., you know.

200
00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:39,269
Then Willfred, then Willoughby

201
00:09:39,289 --> 00:09:42,220
then Willard, you know.
Then Willis.

202
00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:44,289
Will, stop.

203
00:09:45,009 --> 00:09:47,110
Will Stop?

204
00:09:47,129 --> 00:09:49,179
[scoffs]
That ain't no good name.

205
00:09:51,169 --> 00:09:54,090
Now, Willstafa, you know.

206
00:09:54,110 --> 00:09:55,200
That's strong,
you know, like

207
00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:57,200
kind of a Lion King
kind of feel.

208
00:09:57,220 --> 00:10:00,009
You know, Will Simba.

209
00:10:01,190 --> 00:10:03,259
Uh, we'll come back to that.

210
00:10:03,279 --> 00:10:05,210
Look, let's take another
question.

211
00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:07,159
Oh, where will you be living?

212
00:10:07,179 --> 00:10:09,009
That's an easy one. Right, baby?

213
00:10:09,029 --> 00:10:11,169
- Yes. Cleveland.
- Philly.

214
00:10:12,149 --> 00:10:14,159
Oh, this ought to be good.

215
00:10:14,179 --> 00:10:17,019
[instrumental music]

216
00:10:17,039 --> 00:10:18,220
Well, that new little
Beemer of yours

217
00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:21,019
runs like a dream, doesn't it?

218
00:10:21,039 --> 00:10:23,110
How should I know,
you've been hogging it

219
00:10:23,129 --> 00:10:26,000
ever since I signed the papers.

220
00:10:26,019 --> 00:10:27,110
Just come on upstairs.

221
00:10:27,129 --> 00:10:29,070
You know that table
in daddy's study?

222
00:10:29,090 --> 00:10:31,080
I need you to carry it
out to the car.

223
00:10:31,100 --> 00:10:33,169
It's a pool table.

224
00:10:35,190 --> 00:10:37,289
Duh. Heh-heh!

225
00:10:38,009 --> 00:10:39,220
Miss Hilary, I'm sorry

226
00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:41,159
but I have duties here
to attend to.

227
00:10:41,179 --> 00:10:45,080
Besides, I'm still worn out
from last night.

228
00:10:45,100 --> 00:10:48,240
Oh, please. I just had you do
a little yard work.

229
00:10:48,259 --> 00:10:50,289
I don't believe blacktopping
your tennis court

230
00:10:51,009 --> 00:10:53,269
falls into that category.

231
00:10:53,289 --> 00:10:55,289
You are so lazy.

232
00:10:58,259 --> 00:11:01,279
Not too lazy to quit.

233
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:04,159
- Geoffrey, where have you been?
- Yes.

234
00:11:04,179 --> 00:11:07,159
The last thing you said was,
"I just need to step outside

235
00:11:07,179 --> 00:11:09,289
for a little fresh air.
I'll be right back."

236
00:11:10,009 --> 00:11:11,169
That was seven hours ago.

237
00:11:11,190 --> 00:11:13,090
Oh, don't get into a hissy fit,
sir.

238
00:11:13,110 --> 00:11:17,179
- I left dinner in the oven.
- Oh, thank goodness.

239
00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:20,200
I thought we were gonna
have to eat what daddy gave us.

240
00:11:20,220 --> 00:11:23,139
God help us, you'd think a guy
who eats so much

241
00:11:23,159 --> 00:11:26,190
would at least know
his way around the kitchen.

242
00:11:26,210 --> 00:11:30,110
- Lisa, hi. Where's Will?
- Will who?

243
00:11:32,159 --> 00:11:35,190
Will, wa-was there a problem
in therapy?

244
00:11:35,210 --> 00:11:37,250
Man, we are this close
to breaking up.

245
00:11:37,269 --> 00:11:40,120
Boy, that stuff
doesn't work at all.

246
00:11:40,139 --> 00:11:42,269
[instrumental music]

247
00:11:46,059 --> 00:11:48,080
[microwave beeping]

248
00:12:00,019 --> 00:12:01,230
Oh, thanks, babe.

249
00:12:01,250 --> 00:12:03,250
Oh, God! Don't hurt me!

250
00:12:08,210 --> 00:12:10,230
What is your problem?

251
00:12:10,250 --> 00:12:13,000
Me?

252
00:12:13,019 --> 00:12:17,019
Baby, yo,
just tell me one thing..

253
00:12:17,039 --> 00:12:19,149
Did you put somethin' on

254
00:12:19,169 --> 00:12:22,259
or did you take somethin' off?

255
00:12:22,279 --> 00:12:25,230
Trust me, Will, the next time
I decide to take something off

256
00:12:25,250 --> 00:12:28,240
you will be too old
and blind to care.

257
00:12:29,230 --> 00:12:31,269
Listen, this is just stupid.

258
00:12:31,289 --> 00:12:33,289
We shouldn't be
fighting like this.

259
00:12:34,009 --> 00:12:36,049
[sighs]
Okay, baby, you're right.

260
00:12:36,070 --> 00:12:38,220
I'm, I'm sorry. Aww.

261
00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:40,269
Hey, put it there, dude.

262
00:12:42,049 --> 00:12:44,019
You have some nerve.

263
00:12:44,039 --> 00:12:46,220
So you expect me to be
a gourmet chef

264
00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:51,230
raise eight kids and look
beautiful 24 hours a day?

265
00:12:51,250 --> 00:12:54,059
Too much?

266
00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:57,110
And what exactly
are you gonna be doing?

267
00:12:57,129 --> 00:12:59,269
- I'm gonna be supporting y'all.
- Oh, on what?

268
00:12:59,289 --> 00:13:04,080
That one-figure salary that
you pull down at the Peacock?

269
00:13:05,100 --> 00:13:07,029
Oh, no, you did not.

270
00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:11,190
Oh, no..

271
00:13:14,179 --> 00:13:16,059
You know what?

272
00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:18,070
I could yell

273
00:13:18,090 --> 00:13:20,029
I could scream.

274
00:13:20,049 --> 00:13:23,179
I could even
call you some names.

275
00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:25,059
But you know what?

276
00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:28,230
One of us has to be
the mature one.

277
00:13:28,250 --> 00:13:31,289
And it ain't gonna be me,
Aunt Jemima!

278
00:13:34,049 --> 00:13:36,009
Ooh.

279
00:13:36,029 --> 00:13:39,049
[instrumental music]

280
00:13:43,029 --> 00:13:44,230
- Hello, everyone.
- Hi.

281
00:13:44,250 --> 00:13:46,190
Yeah, what's up?

282
00:13:47,230 --> 00:13:49,039
Um, Will,
we're sitting over here.

283
00:13:49,059 --> 00:13:50,220
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
now, there you go

284
00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:52,269
trying to tell me where to sit.

285
00:13:52,289 --> 00:13:55,169
Look here. I sit
when and where I please.

286
00:13:55,190 --> 00:13:59,240
You know what I'm saying?
'Cause I'm the man. I'm theman.

287
00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:04,049
Now, you give me one good reason
why I should sit over there.

288
00:14:04,070 --> 00:14:06,129
Because your name
is on the seat.

289
00:14:10,029 --> 00:14:12,080
I knew that.

290
00:14:12,100 --> 00:14:14,049
And you know how I knew that?

291
00:14:14,070 --> 00:14:17,190
- 'Cause you're the man.
- 'Cause you're the man.

292
00:14:17,210 --> 00:14:20,070
Oh, you see what I'm saying?
They recognize.

293
00:14:21,139 --> 00:14:24,169
- Hello. Welcome.
- 'Yeah, whatever.'

294
00:14:24,190 --> 00:14:26,019
Well, tonight
we're here to benefit

295
00:14:26,039 --> 00:14:28,000
from each other's experiences.

296
00:14:28,019 --> 00:14:29,210
Those of us who are just
starting out together

297
00:14:29,230 --> 00:14:30,259
and others who have had long

298
00:14:30,279 --> 00:14:32,200
and nurturing relationships.

299
00:14:32,220 --> 00:14:34,129
(George)
'Get the lead out, Weezy.'

300
00:14:34,149 --> 00:14:37,200
(Louise)
'I'm walking as fast as I can,
George.'

301
00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:50,070
- Hello, Louise, George.
- Hey, Whitey.

302
00:14:53,090 --> 00:14:55,049
That's, uh,
that's Dr. Whitehorn.

303
00:14:55,070 --> 00:14:59,000
Yeah, yeah, Horny.
Where do you want me to sit?

304
00:14:59,019 --> 00:15:00,110
Never mind,
I'll sit wherever I want

305
00:15:00,129 --> 00:15:03,159
'cause I'm the man.
I'm the man.

306
00:15:03,179 --> 00:15:06,210
Tonight, why don't we begin
with a simple exercise?

307
00:15:06,230 --> 00:15:08,110
I'd like each one of you
to say three things

308
00:15:08,129 --> 00:15:10,049
that you like
about your partner, okay?

309
00:15:10,070 --> 00:15:12,240
Uh, George, why don't you start?

310
00:15:23,129 --> 00:15:25,159
Well?

311
00:15:25,179 --> 00:15:27,039
Well, what?

312
00:15:27,059 --> 00:15:30,159
The man said to name
three things you like about me.

313
00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:32,230
Fine. Your mother died.
Your mother is dead.

314
00:15:32,250 --> 00:15:35,000
Your mother
ain't living no more.

315
00:15:40,049 --> 00:15:42,070
[laughing]

316
00:15:45,269 --> 00:15:47,279
[coughing]

317
00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:52,159
Okay, let's, um,
let's try role reversal.

318
00:15:52,179 --> 00:15:55,070
No, uh-uh.

319
00:15:55,090 --> 00:15:58,009
It'll help give you insight into
how your partner perceives you.

320
00:15:58,029 --> 00:15:59,230
Now, uh, who'd like to go first?

321
00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:02,149
- Oh, I'd like to.
- Oh, great, Lisa.

322
00:16:02,169 --> 00:16:03,240
Show us Will.

323
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:15,139
[imitating Will]
Who the man?

324
00:16:17,190 --> 00:16:19,220
I'm the man.

325
00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:21,289
'Cause I ain't spending no $4.95

326
00:16:22,009 --> 00:16:25,139
on some stank skeezer
to take her to the salad bar.

327
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:29,090
'Cause if a honey wants to go
with me to the Sizzler

328
00:16:29,110 --> 00:16:32,230
she gots to be all that.
She gots to look good.

329
00:16:32,250 --> 00:16:35,059
Yeah.

330
00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:36,210
You know what I mean?

331
00:16:36,230 --> 00:16:39,289
'CauseI'mtheman.

332
00:16:45,269 --> 00:16:47,149
Nicely done.

333
00:16:48,230 --> 00:16:50,240
I believe it's my turn.

334
00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:53,029
Go ahead, Will.

335
00:16:53,049 --> 00:16:55,090
Um, oh, excuse.. Um..

336
00:16:55,110 --> 00:16:57,289
Ca-can I borrow this
for a second? Thank you.

337
00:16:58,009 --> 00:17:01,029
- Hey! Man.
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

338
00:17:01,049 --> 00:17:03,200
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

339
00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:08,049
[inaudible]

340
00:17:10,019 --> 00:17:11,150
[imitating Lisa]
Tsk.

341
00:17:19,019 --> 00:17:20,279
You want some popcorn?

342
00:17:22,119 --> 00:17:24,140
Tsk. Why you screaming?

343
00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:26,190
What, I'm supposed to be a cook,
I'm supposed to be a cleaner

344
00:17:26,210 --> 00:17:28,150
I'm supposed do everything
you want. What you gonna do?

345
00:17:28,170 --> 00:17:31,009
Tsk.

346
00:17:31,029 --> 00:17:34,150
Tsk. Tsk. Listen, you need to
stop acting so stupid.

347
00:17:34,170 --> 00:17:36,130
You need to get a job,
or do something

348
00:17:36,150 --> 00:17:37,250
so you can buy me
something nice.

349
00:17:37,269 --> 00:17:39,049
You ain't never bought me
nothin' nice.

350
00:17:39,069 --> 00:17:40,250
You just be acting all dumb.

351
00:17:40,269 --> 00:17:42,109
And why you talking about
your uncle all the time?

352
00:17:42,130 --> 00:17:45,069
He ain't fat. He is big-boned.

353
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:50,079
And I thought I had it bad.

354
00:17:52,019 --> 00:17:54,210
- And it's about to get worse.
- Ow!

355
00:17:54,230 --> 00:17:56,210
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Now, none of that.

356
00:17:56,230 --> 00:17:58,200
If you can't verbalize your
aggressions

357
00:17:58,220 --> 00:18:02,009
then, uh, here, try a bataka.

358
00:18:02,029 --> 00:18:04,019
- Oh!
- Oh!

359
00:18:05,089 --> 00:18:07,150
- And this is for mama.
- Hey!

360
00:18:07,170 --> 00:18:09,210
And this is for calling me Weezy

361
00:18:09,230 --> 00:18:13,099
when you know I'm sensitive
about my asthma.

362
00:18:13,119 --> 00:18:15,150
Try this on your asthma,
huh?

363
00:18:15,170 --> 00:18:18,170
Hey, hey, hey, time out!
Time out now! Stop it!

364
00:18:18,190 --> 00:18:21,279
Look it, why don't we all just
take a five-minute break, okay?

365
00:18:30,289 --> 00:18:33,160
- Hey, how are you doing?
- Fine.

366
00:18:33,180 --> 00:18:35,079
Man, she always been like that?

367
00:18:35,099 --> 00:18:36,250
Nah, she used to be mean.

368
00:18:36,269 --> 00:18:38,279
[laughing]

369
00:18:40,079 --> 00:18:41,220
We tied the knot 40 years
ago

370
00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:43,079
and I've been swinging from
it
ever since.

371
00:18:43,099 --> 00:18:44,130
[laughing]

372
00:18:44,150 --> 00:18:45,230
Yeah, I hear you, man.

373
00:18:45,250 --> 00:18:47,210
Sure, there's women like that
make you realize

374
00:18:47,230 --> 00:18:50,019
why God made darkness.

375
00:18:50,039 --> 00:18:52,099
- Hey, man!
- What?

376
00:18:53,140 --> 00:18:56,029
- You insulting my wife?
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

377
00:18:56,049 --> 00:18:58,130
Hold up a second there,
cul-de-sac.

378
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:03,119
Look, I, I am twice your size
and half your age.

379
00:19:03,140 --> 00:19:05,170
You need to just chill out
a little bit.

380
00:19:05,190 --> 00:19:07,000
Your mama.

381
00:19:09,049 --> 00:19:11,220
Oh, no. You didn't just
talk about my mother.

382
00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:14,269
Okay. Well, I'll talk about
your daddy instead.

383
00:19:14,289 --> 00:19:17,130
Your daddy is so fat
that when he went to school

384
00:19:17,150 --> 00:19:19,240
he sat next to everybody.

385
00:19:23,150 --> 00:19:24,279
Pfft.

386
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:28,259
But still he wasn't as fat
as your fat mama.

387
00:19:33,099 --> 00:19:35,119
Oh! Come on with it!

388
00:19:35,140 --> 00:19:37,019
Stop it! Stop it right now!
Stop it.

389
00:19:37,039 --> 00:19:39,049
You're not supposed to..
Stop it right now, okay.

390
00:19:39,069 --> 00:19:40,130
Stop it or I'll charge you
double.

391
00:19:40,150 --> 00:19:43,029
- What?
- Who you talking to?

392
00:19:43,049 --> 00:19:46,200
- Oh, that is so juvenile.
- I know it.

393
00:19:46,220 --> 00:19:49,210
I have never seen
anything so stupid.

394
00:19:51,089 --> 00:19:54,220
You calling my husband stupid?

395
00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:57,250
Honey,
the only thing stupid here

396
00:19:57,269 --> 00:20:00,109
is your big-eared boyfriend.

397
00:20:01,250 --> 00:20:04,109
He looks like a car
coming down the road

398
00:20:04,130 --> 00:20:06,130
with both doors open.

399
00:20:11,220 --> 00:20:14,230
Oh, no, Miss Thing.
It's on now.

400
00:20:14,250 --> 00:20:17,119
Alright, sister, bring it on.

401
00:20:19,079 --> 00:20:21,099
(Dr. Whitehorn)
'Hey! Come on, you're missing
the whole point here.'

402
00:20:21,119 --> 00:20:22,279
Stop it! Stop it right now!

403
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,190
You're supposed to verbalize,
not beat each other up!

404
00:20:25,210 --> 00:20:27,160
You might as well be taking
karate.

405
00:20:27,180 --> 00:20:29,210
- Coward!
- I hear you.

406
00:20:29,230 --> 00:20:32,259
[instrumental music]

407
00:20:36,079 --> 00:20:38,190
Hey, what's up, Uncle Phil?

408
00:20:38,210 --> 00:20:42,099
- What in the world happened?
- Man, we got into a huge fight.

409
00:20:42,119 --> 00:20:44,009
Uh, a fistfight?

410
00:20:44,029 --> 00:20:45,279
No, we used bats.

411
00:20:47,069 --> 00:20:49,039
- On each other?
- Oh, no, no.

412
00:20:49,059 --> 00:20:51,039
We beat up this old couple.

413
00:20:52,130 --> 00:20:54,109
Yeah, but they had it
coming,
right, baby?

414
00:20:54,130 --> 00:20:56,019
- Yeah, baby.
- That's what I'm saying.

415
00:20:56,039 --> 00:20:57,059
I can't believe
what I'm hearing.

416
00:20:57,079 --> 00:20:59,160
I mean, th-that's terrible.

417
00:20:59,180 --> 00:21:02,039
Oh, no, no, no.
This was at therapy, Uncle Phil.

418
00:21:02,059 --> 00:21:04,099
Hey, y-you know,
it actually helped us out a lot.

419
00:21:04,119 --> 00:21:07,059
W-we decided we're not gonna get
married in September after all.

420
00:21:07,079 --> 00:21:09,049
Ooh. Okay,
if that's your decision.

421
00:21:09,069 --> 00:21:12,279
Yeah. We're gonna move
the wedding up to May.

422
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:15,000
You know, I mean,
we saw tonight that

423
00:21:15,019 --> 00:21:16,259
you know, we got our little
petty differences

424
00:21:16,279 --> 00:21:19,019
but when push come to shove,
we've got each other's back.

425
00:21:19,039 --> 00:21:21,259
Oh, well, I'm really glad
you two are getting along.

426
00:21:21,279 --> 00:21:24,049
But that's still no reason
to move up your wedding.

427
00:21:24,069 --> 00:21:27,000
Well, you know,
that's not the only reason.

428
00:21:27,019 --> 00:21:30,019
We wanna miss the rainy
season
in the motherland.

429
00:21:30,039 --> 00:21:33,029
That's where you're sending us
for our honeymoon. Oh.

430
00:21:36,109 --> 00:21:37,200
That's from the travel agent.

431
00:21:37,220 --> 00:21:40,259
She says she could retire
on this one.

432
00:21:40,279 --> 00:21:43,000
[chuckling]

433
00:21:43,190 --> 00:21:45,009
Thanks.

434
00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:49,289
Pinch me, Geoffrey.

435
00:21:50,009 --> 00:21:52,160
Not on what you're paying
me.

436
00:21:54,009 --> 00:21:57,119
But for 35,000,
I'll slap you silly.

437
00:21:57,140 --> 00:21:59,170
[instrumental music]

438
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:07,160
[theme music]

439
00:22:07,180 --> 00:22:12,039
♪ Yeah ♪

440
00:22:12,059 --> 00:22:13,140
♪ Yeah ♪

441
00:22:16,259 --> 00:22:18,039
♪ Yeah ♪

442
00:22:21,119 --> 00:22:22,250
♪ Yeah ♪

443
00:22:26,039 --> 00:22:27,089
♪ Yeah ♪

444
00:22:30,210 --> 00:22:32,000
♪ Yeah ♪