1
00:00:02,100 --> 00:00:04,139
You know, Geoffrey, I do believe
that of all the holidays

2
00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:06,179
Thanksgiving is my favorite.

3
00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:08,089
Oh, the yams

4
00:00:08,109 --> 00:00:09,289
the cranberry sauce

5
00:00:10,009 --> 00:00:11,019
the pie

6
00:00:11,039 --> 00:00:14,179
and, of course,
that big old butterball.

7
00:00:15,169 --> 00:00:18,039
Well, you are what you eat.

8
00:00:18,250 --> 00:00:20,039
[laughing]

9
00:00:20,059 --> 00:00:23,050
Uh, did you just call me
a big old butterball?

10
00:00:23,070 --> 00:00:26,239
Nothing gets past you, sir.

11
00:00:26,260 --> 00:00:29,019
You know, Geoffrey, if you're
going to comment on my girth

12
00:00:29,039 --> 00:00:31,239
you could at least
put some thought into it.

13
00:00:31,260 --> 00:00:33,039
I beg your pardon, sir?

14
00:00:33,060 --> 00:00:34,159
Well, I mean there are just
so many more

15
00:00:34,179 --> 00:00:36,149
interesting ways to say it.

16
00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:38,100
I mean, you could be poetic.

17
00:00:38,119 --> 00:00:40,289
His corpulent flesh
rolls around his bones

18
00:00:41,009 --> 00:00:44,200
like a thick chocolate pudding.
Huh?

19
00:00:44,219 --> 00:00:46,049
Or scientific.

20
00:00:46,070 --> 00:00:48,280
He is so huge
that food comes to him

21
00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:51,000
from the gravitational pull
alone.

22
00:00:51,020 --> 00:00:52,100
Huh?

23
00:00:52,119 --> 00:00:54,140
Or you could be quizzical.

24
00:00:54,159 --> 00:00:57,100
Is that your head or is your
neck blowing a bubble?

25
00:00:57,119 --> 00:01:00,280
You could be ribald,
ironic, vaudevillian, whatever.

26
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:04,189
But be creative.
You got that?

27
00:01:04,209 --> 00:01:07,250
Anything you say, sir.

28
00:01:07,269 --> 00:01:10,049
Hey. Hey, what's up?
Oh, Uncle Phil.

29
00:01:10,069 --> 00:01:12,099
Uh, that elephant that trampled
all them people called

30
00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:14,109
he want his butt back.

31
00:01:16,030 --> 00:01:17,159
[theme song]

32
00:01:17,180 --> 00:01:21,109
♪ Now this is a story all about
how my life got flipped ♪

33
00:01:21,129 --> 00:01:23,239
♪ Turned upside-down
and I'd like to take a minute ♪

34
00:01:23,260 --> 00:01:25,219
♪ Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became ♪

35
00:01:25,239 --> 00:01:27,280
♪ The prince of a town
called Bel-Air ♪

36
00:01:36,180 --> 00:01:39,020
♪ In West Philadelphia
born and raised ♪

37
00:01:39,039 --> 00:01:41,229
♪ On the playground is where
I spent most of my days ♪

38
00:01:41,250 --> 00:01:43,259
♪ Chillin' out maxin'
relaxin' all cool ♪

39
00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:46,099
♪ And all shootin' some b-ball
outside of the school ♪

40
00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:48,200
♪ When a couple of guys
who were up to no good ♪

41
00:01:48,219 --> 00:01:51,000
♪ Started makin' trouble
in my neighborhood ♪

42
00:01:51,020 --> 00:01:53,200
♪ I got in one little fight
and my mom got scared and said ♪

43
00:01:53,219 --> 00:01:55,280
♪ You're moving with your auntie
and uncle in Bel-Air ♪

44
00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:57,270
♪ I whistled for a cab
and when it came near ♪

45
00:01:57,289 --> 00:02:00,209
♪ The license plate said fresh
and it had dice in the mirror ♪

46
00:02:00,230 --> 00:02:02,269
♪ If anything I can say
that this cab was rare ♪

47
00:02:02,290 --> 00:02:06,250
♪ But I thought nah forget it
yo holmes to Bel-Air ♪

48
00:02:06,269 --> 00:02:09,280
♪ I pulled up to a house
about seven or eight ♪

49
00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:12,210
♪ And I yelled to the cabbie
yo holmes smell you later ♪

50
00:02:12,229 --> 00:02:14,289
♪ Looked at my kingdom
I was finally there ♪

51
00:02:15,009 --> 00:02:17,240
♪ To sit on my throne
as the prince of Bel-Air ♪♪

52
00:02:31,099 --> 00:02:34,020
(male #1)
Sold to number 378.

53
00:02:34,039 --> 00:02:36,079
Oh, I just love auctions.

54
00:02:36,099 --> 00:02:39,060
You wait for the auctioneer
to say, "Going once, twice."

55
00:02:39,079 --> 00:02:40,120
Then whatever the last bid was

56
00:02:40,139 --> 00:02:42,030
you raise the paddle
and double it.

57
00:02:42,050 --> 00:02:44,219
[laughing]
Give me that.

58
00:02:46,090 --> 00:02:47,289
Philip, let's go see
what's in the other room.

59
00:02:48,009 --> 00:02:50,000
Oh. I-I'll be there in a minute,
sweetheart.

60
00:02:50,020 --> 00:02:52,219
Ah... Sit on this, Carlton.

61
00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:54,110
My pleasure, dad.

62
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,009
[beeper beeping]

63
00:03:02,009 --> 00:03:03,199
Who was that?

64
00:03:03,219 --> 00:03:06,120
What? Oh, um, you know, um..

65
00:03:06,139 --> 00:03:08,000
Um, that was my beeper.

66
00:03:09,159 --> 00:03:11,069
Was it a girl?

67
00:03:12,069 --> 00:03:14,050
Oh, you know, um..

68
00:03:14,069 --> 00:03:15,189
You know, it could be a girl

69
00:03:15,210 --> 00:03:19,050
or a-a guy or,
you know, some mixture.

70
00:03:19,069 --> 00:03:21,159
Mm-hm.

71
00:03:21,180 --> 00:03:22,189
Oh, look.

72
00:03:22,210 --> 00:03:24,139
Who would like to open the bid

73
00:03:24,159 --> 00:03:26,250
on the celebrity mystery box?

74
00:03:26,270 --> 00:03:29,240
Now, come on, folks.
Do I hear a hundred?

75
00:03:29,259 --> 00:03:31,170
You know who that is, don't you?

76
00:03:31,189 --> 00:03:33,050
It's Michael Jordan.

77
00:03:33,069 --> 00:03:35,250
Aw, come on, ain't no Michael
Jordan in that box.

78
00:03:35,270 --> 00:03:39,000
No, really, he told me after my
show on "Is Bald Sexy?"

79
00:03:39,020 --> 00:03:41,150
That he was gonna be
auctioned as a prize.

80
00:03:41,170 --> 00:03:43,289
Wow. Hey, I'd love to meet
Michael Jordan.

81
00:03:44,009 --> 00:03:46,199
Why don't you just
have him beep you?

82
00:03:46,219 --> 00:03:49,060
Look, is-is this beeper
a problem?

83
00:03:49,079 --> 00:03:50,199
Do you want me to get rid
of this beeper?

84
00:03:50,219 --> 00:03:53,129
If you want,
just say the word and it's gone.

85
00:03:53,150 --> 00:03:54,250
- Get rid of the beeper.
- What am I saying?

86
00:03:54,270 --> 00:03:56,180
What would that prove?

87
00:03:57,280 --> 00:04:00,210
This popular celebrity
has a distinctive haircut

88
00:04:00,229 --> 00:04:02,150
is in top physical condition

89
00:04:02,169 --> 00:04:05,150
and is a real inspirational
individual.

90
00:04:05,169 --> 00:04:07,270
Sounds like Michael Jordan
to me.

91
00:04:10,009 --> 00:04:11,199
- Four hundred.
- Hey.

92
00:04:11,219 --> 00:04:13,210
Thank you, sir, do I hear five?

93
00:04:13,229 --> 00:04:15,060
I'm the keeper of the paddle.

94
00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:17,160
(male #1)
'I have six. Do I hear seven?'

95
00:04:17,180 --> 00:04:19,259
- Seven.
- Give me that back.

96
00:04:19,279 --> 00:04:22,009
Seven. Seven going once.

97
00:04:22,029 --> 00:04:24,120
Just go back to your date.

98
00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:26,259
Thank you, I have eight.

99
00:04:26,279 --> 00:04:28,220
No, no, I said date.

100
00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:30,230
Going once? Going twice?

101
00:04:30,250 --> 00:04:33,159
Sold to number 248.

102
00:04:33,180 --> 00:04:36,100
[applauding]

103
00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:39,069
Will, I'm looking for a
little
clarity in our relationship.

104
00:04:39,090 --> 00:04:41,129
- I need to know where we stand.
- L-Lisa, Lisa.

105
00:04:41,149 --> 00:04:43,159
Baby, why do we need
to define everything?

106
00:04:43,180 --> 00:04:46,120
Let stuff just flow naturally,
you know?

107
00:04:46,139 --> 00:04:48,250
- I just feel like we need to--
- Lisa, Lisa, Lisa, baby.

108
00:04:48,269 --> 00:04:50,170
Baby, listen,
we can talk about this later.

109
00:04:50,189 --> 00:04:52,180
I just purchased
one of the greatest athletes

110
00:04:52,199 --> 00:04:54,209
in the history of athletics.

111
00:04:54,230 --> 00:04:56,220
Okay, folks.

112
00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:58,230
Here we go.

113
00:05:01,110 --> 00:05:03,129
[applauding]

114
00:05:07,149 --> 00:05:09,149
Boy, Mike's really
changed his looks

115
00:05:09,170 --> 00:05:13,019
since he started playing
baseball.

116
00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:15,250
[instrumental music]

117
00:05:15,269 --> 00:05:17,160
That's it, guys,
the whole family up.

118
00:05:17,180 --> 00:05:20,290
Come on, everybody. Come on,
Philip, keep up. And reach.

119
00:05:21,009 --> 00:05:23,019
Well done, Carlton.

120
00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:26,029
Well done. Keep going.

121
00:05:28,009 --> 00:05:31,029
You know, so we're up
in the auction, right?

122
00:05:31,050 --> 00:05:33,009
You know, my beeper go off.

123
00:05:33,029 --> 00:05:35,129
She talkin' about,
"You seeing other women."

124
00:05:35,149 --> 00:05:37,240
Well, are you seeing other
women?

125
00:05:37,259 --> 00:05:39,129
No, man.

126
00:05:39,149 --> 00:05:41,250
Well, then,
get rid of your beeper.

127
00:05:41,269 --> 00:05:43,199
Aw, please, man,
getting rid of your beeper

128
00:05:43,220 --> 00:05:45,079
like getting yourself fixed.

129
00:05:45,100 --> 00:05:48,040
Come on, guys, the family
that works out together

130
00:05:48,060 --> 00:05:50,139
gets fit together.

131
00:05:50,159 --> 00:05:52,189
Uh, Hilary. Keep going.

132
00:05:52,209 --> 00:05:55,019
Hilary, uh,
why are you stopping?

133
00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:58,180
Excuse me, but I'm, like,
starting to sweat.

134
00:05:58,199 --> 00:05:59,199
[panting]

135
00:05:59,220 --> 00:06:03,139
Hilary, do you have a problem
with me?

136
00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:05,079
Nothing personal, but..

137
00:06:05,100 --> 00:06:07,269
...you're a talk show host,
I'm a talk show host.

138
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:10,259
I mean, you don't see me
skateboarding with Montel.

139
00:06:13,250 --> 00:06:15,100
Uh, maybe this is enough
for today.

140
00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:16,189
Oh, well, that's too bad.

141
00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:19,000
Thank you so much for coming by,
Miss Powter.

142
00:06:19,019 --> 00:06:21,089
And maybe we'll see you
at the next auction.

143
00:06:21,110 --> 00:06:22,259
Oh, you know, Mr. Banks

144
00:06:22,279 --> 00:06:24,149
I know this was supposed to
be
a one-day thing

145
00:06:24,170 --> 00:06:27,040
but I feel such chemistry
between the two of us.

146
00:06:27,060 --> 00:06:28,240
I really wanna stick around
and help you

147
00:06:28,259 --> 00:06:30,050
reach your ideal weight.

148
00:06:30,069 --> 00:06:34,000
Now, if ever there were
a lifetime commitment..

149
00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:36,240
7:00 a.m. tomorrow.
Okay, in the morning.

150
00:06:36,259 --> 00:06:39,100
- Uh, uh, um.. Oh!
- 7:00 a.m.

151
00:06:40,159 --> 00:06:42,060
Should've given
Hilary the damn paddle.

152
00:06:42,079 --> 00:06:44,290
At least we'd be able
to drive whatever she bought.

153
00:06:46,189 --> 00:06:48,220
Philip, you know, it wouldn't be
the worst thing in the world

154
00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:51,090
to lose a couple..

155
00:06:51,110 --> 00:06:53,139
...fifty pounds.

156
00:06:53,159 --> 00:06:55,149
(Philip)
'Well, maybe you're right.'

157
00:06:55,170 --> 00:06:57,259
A little exercise can't
hurt.

158
00:06:57,279 --> 00:06:59,120
- Tomorrow.
- Okay.

159
00:06:59,139 --> 00:07:02,120
Tonight we eat fudge.

160
00:07:03,209 --> 00:07:06,110
Hey, hey, man,
you could kill somebody.

161
00:07:06,129 --> 00:07:09,199
- Hi, Will.
- Hey, Lisa, what's up, baby?

162
00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:12,050
Hey, look if you wanna
go out tonight

163
00:07:12,069 --> 00:07:13,139
baby, it cannot happen.

164
00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:15,120
I feel like I tried to snatch
a cheeseburger

165
00:07:15,139 --> 00:07:16,180
from George Foreman.

166
00:07:16,199 --> 00:07:17,259
[laughing]

167
00:07:17,279 --> 00:07:19,120
That's okay,
I'm helping my friend Dana

168
00:07:19,139 --> 00:07:21,120
set up a new apartment,
I just wanted to stop by

169
00:07:21,139 --> 00:07:22,170
and bring you your jacket.

170
00:07:22,189 --> 00:07:24,160
Oh, thank you.

171
00:07:24,180 --> 00:07:26,170
- Hi.
- Oh, Dana.

172
00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:30,290
Dana, this is Will.
Will, this is Dana.

173
00:07:35,100 --> 00:07:36,199
Don't mean to barge in,
but I was wondering

174
00:07:36,220 --> 00:07:38,170
if I could use your
bathroom.

175
00:07:38,189 --> 00:07:40,170
Oh, uh, yeah. Cool.

176
00:07:40,189 --> 00:07:44,019
Uh, it's, uh, right down
the hall, uh, on the right.

177
00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:46,060
- Knock yourself out.
- Thanks.

178
00:07:46,079 --> 00:07:47,100
Please.

179
00:07:56,139 --> 00:07:57,230
Who was that?

180
00:07:57,250 --> 00:07:59,230
That's Dana.
What's wrong with you?

181
00:07:59,250 --> 00:08:01,160
Well, the Dana
I was expecting to meet

182
00:08:01,180 --> 00:08:02,290
would be sitting down
on the toilet

183
00:08:03,009 --> 00:08:06,019
not standing up in front of it.

184
00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:08,029
Will, he's just a friend.

185
00:08:08,050 --> 00:08:09,129
Oh, oh, just a friend.

186
00:08:09,149 --> 00:08:12,040
Well, just how friendly
is this friend?

187
00:08:12,060 --> 00:08:13,180
Will, don't define everything.

188
00:08:13,199 --> 00:08:16,120
Let things flow naturally,
right?

189
00:08:16,139 --> 00:08:19,069
Where did you hear
that crock of garbage?

190
00:08:21,089 --> 00:08:23,079
- Ready?
- Yeah, I'm ready.

191
00:08:23,100 --> 00:08:25,180
- Well..
- Will, I'll see you later.

192
00:08:28,069 --> 00:08:31,069
- Will, what's going on?
- Oh, okay.

193
00:08:31,089 --> 00:08:32,240
Oh, well, if she gonna be
stepping out

194
00:08:32,259 --> 00:08:34,120
I ain't gonna be sitting up
in the crib

195
00:08:34,139 --> 00:08:37,100
like some Silly Putty sucker.

196
00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:40,139
You're going to your
chicktionary? Let me see.

197
00:08:40,159 --> 00:08:44,179
Carlton, you know
the chicktionary rules.

198
00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:47,100
Right. Three feet back.

199
00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:52,090
Well, Lisa ain't the only one
who got friends.

200
00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:56,090
Hey, Carlotta.

201
00:08:56,110 --> 00:08:58,120
Hey, baby, you feeling friendly?

202
00:08:59,269 --> 00:09:01,059
Whoo.

203
00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:02,250
Will, I don't know
why you wanted to see

204
00:09:02,269 --> 00:09:04,210
"Interview With The Vampire."

205
00:09:04,230 --> 00:09:06,200
I get scared so easily.

206
00:09:06,220 --> 00:09:08,179
Uh, well, babe, it wasn't
about the movie for me.

207
00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:10,289
I just wanted to see you
jump.

208
00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:13,009
Girl, you got bounce.

209
00:09:13,029 --> 00:09:14,059
You nasty boy.

210
00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:16,100
Oh, how did you know?

211
00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:18,159
Hey, hey, listen,
you want a soda or something?

212
00:09:18,179 --> 00:09:20,029
Uh, sure.

213
00:09:20,049 --> 00:09:21,210
Actually, you know,
I was kind of surprised

214
00:09:21,230 --> 00:09:23,009
that you called me.

215
00:09:23,029 --> 00:09:25,049
Rumor had it
that you were off the market.

216
00:09:25,070 --> 00:09:28,190
Oh, well, you know,
I'm still hearing offers. Heh.

217
00:09:28,210 --> 00:09:32,259
You can, uh, think of tonight
as an open house.

218
00:09:37,019 --> 00:09:39,019
[sniffs]

219
00:09:41,220 --> 00:09:43,179
Gee, your hair smells terrific.

220
00:09:45,129 --> 00:09:47,169
Come here, you.

221
00:09:51,279 --> 00:09:54,059
Oh, dear God!

222
00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:55,269
What is it? Are you okay?

223
00:09:55,289 --> 00:09:59,000
Uh.. No, no..
No, I was just..

224
00:09:59,019 --> 00:10:00,120
I was just thinking about how

225
00:10:00,139 --> 00:10:03,139
they made Tom Cruise
even whiter.

226
00:10:06,230 --> 00:10:09,220
You see, I told you
about those scary movies.

227
00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:12,100
You need to relax.

228
00:10:14,049 --> 00:10:16,100
Why don't you let me
help you, uh

229
00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:19,009
relieve some of that tension?

230
00:10:19,029 --> 00:10:20,269
Oh, yeah.

231
00:10:27,090 --> 00:10:29,080
Oh, God, don't!

232
00:10:31,179 --> 00:10:33,220
- Will.
- Oh, oh, I'm sorry.

233
00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:35,190
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

234
00:10:35,210 --> 00:10:36,279
Will, do you have a problem?

235
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:38,230
No, no, sweetie, see--

236
00:10:38,250 --> 00:10:41,200
Look, maybe I'll just come back
when you can concentrate.

237
00:10:42,149 --> 00:10:45,019
Listen, see, it, it, um..

238
00:10:45,039 --> 00:10:47,230
Wait. Carlotta.
Baby. Baby, listen.

239
00:10:47,250 --> 00:10:49,230
I was just,
I was just playing around.

240
00:10:49,250 --> 00:10:53,029
You see, schizoid
is a character that I do.

241
00:10:53,049 --> 00:10:56,049
Wait till you
get to meet love boy.

242
00:10:56,070 --> 00:10:58,269
When he gets here,
have him call me.

243
00:11:04,039 --> 00:11:05,220
Carlotta.

244
00:11:09,220 --> 00:11:11,240
[screaming]

245
00:11:20,100 --> 00:11:21,200
[instrumental music]

246
00:11:27,210 --> 00:11:29,240
[door closes]

247
00:11:40,159 --> 00:11:42,159
- Uncle Phil.
- Mm?

248
00:11:42,179 --> 00:11:44,210
Oh, Will.

249
00:11:44,230 --> 00:11:46,049
I thought you were that
Susan Powter.

250
00:11:46,070 --> 00:11:49,100
Oh. Yeah, well,
we got the same barber.

251
00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:51,080
Uh, yeah.

252
00:11:53,179 --> 00:11:55,019
[sighs]

253
00:12:00,019 --> 00:12:01,279
What's the matter, son?

254
00:12:03,019 --> 00:12:05,070
You seem down.

255
00:12:05,090 --> 00:12:08,100
Well, somethin' happened
last night

256
00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:10,179
got me a little worried.

257
00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:12,000
I was in the pool house.

258
00:12:12,019 --> 00:12:15,289
Oh, man, with this real,
real fly honey, man.

259
00:12:16,009 --> 00:12:19,240
All systems were go
and then they kind of went.

260
00:12:19,259 --> 00:12:23,110
Don't worry about that, son.
Happens to the best of us.

261
00:12:23,129 --> 00:12:27,059
And as you get older,
it might even seem commonplace.

262
00:12:29,110 --> 00:12:31,059
I-I-I mean,
I didn't wanna do it.

263
00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:33,000
I-I couldn't get Lisa
off my mind.

264
00:12:33,019 --> 00:12:34,070
Well, Will, obviously

265
00:12:34,090 --> 00:12:36,120
you're thinking of Lisa
differently.

266
00:12:36,139 --> 00:12:38,120
One might even venture to say
that you're falling in--

267
00:12:38,139 --> 00:12:41,149
Da, da-da-da, da.
Don't go there.

268
00:12:41,169 --> 00:12:42,240
Don't go there.

269
00:12:42,259 --> 00:12:44,220
- I wouldn't say that.
- Oh, yeah.

270
00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:48,110
No, no, I-I was just thinking
about her, that's all.

271
00:12:48,129 --> 00:12:51,019
Mm, I see.

272
00:12:51,039 --> 00:12:54,070
B-but, you know, just
hypothetically, you know..

273
00:12:54,090 --> 00:12:55,210
You know, if I was falling

274
00:12:55,230 --> 00:12:57,220
with you know, with,
with, you know.

275
00:12:57,240 --> 00:12:59,220
How would I know?

276
00:12:59,240 --> 00:13:01,029
When I was going
with your Aunt Vivian

277
00:13:01,049 --> 00:13:04,210
I, uh, had a lot of nervous
energy.

278
00:13:04,230 --> 00:13:06,029
I used to get up
every morning at dawn

279
00:13:06,049 --> 00:13:08,220
and run through the park.

280
00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:10,179
You used to jog?

281
00:13:11,250 --> 00:13:15,029
That was a shortcut to the diner
where she worked.

282
00:13:15,049 --> 00:13:16,279
The one sure way
that I could tell

283
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:18,200
that I was in love was
that..

284
00:13:18,220 --> 00:13:21,009
You know those-those stupid,
sappy love songs

285
00:13:21,029 --> 00:13:23,090
that I used to make fun of,
you know?

286
00:13:23,110 --> 00:13:25,080
Well, they started making sense.

287
00:13:25,100 --> 00:13:28,090
I mean, t-this one
really did it for me.

288
00:13:28,110 --> 00:13:29,279
[sighs]

289
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:33,129
♪ I've got sunshine ♪

290
00:13:33,149 --> 00:13:36,139
♪ On a cloudy day ♪

291
00:13:36,159 --> 00:13:39,110
♪ When it's cold outside ♪

292
00:13:39,129 --> 00:13:42,179
♪ I've got the month of May ♪

293
00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:47,039
♪ I guess you'll say ♪

294
00:13:47,059 --> 00:13:51,169
♪ What can make me feel
this way ♪

295
00:13:51,190 --> 00:13:54,159
♪ My girl talkin' 'bout.. ♪♪

296
00:13:54,179 --> 00:13:57,220
Alright, stop,
Uncle Phil, stop.

297
00:13:57,240 --> 00:13:58,289
Don't be ridiculous, Susan.

298
00:13:59,009 --> 00:14:00,009
The whole family would love

299
00:14:00,029 --> 00:14:01,139
to go on a 10-mile jog.

300
00:14:01,159 --> 00:14:04,049
[sniffs]
Hold on.

301
00:14:04,070 --> 00:14:07,000
I smell pepperoni
on the premises.

302
00:14:09,259 --> 00:14:11,250
You're busted, big guy.

303
00:14:11,269 --> 00:14:14,159
Okay, okay,
I'll just go eat some celery.

304
00:14:17,149 --> 00:14:19,220
Will, I am so surprised at you.

305
00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:21,230
Standing around here
watching your uncle

306
00:14:21,250 --> 00:14:23,269
dig himself into an early grave.

307
00:14:23,289 --> 00:14:26,169
Yeah, you filthy stinking
enabler.

308
00:14:28,110 --> 00:14:29,190
Hey, look, wait a minute

309
00:14:29,210 --> 00:14:32,000
I got other things
on my mind right now.

310
00:14:32,019 --> 00:14:34,139
I ain't got no time
for buns of brass

311
00:14:34,159 --> 00:14:36,159
and brains of bricks.

312
00:14:38,070 --> 00:14:39,279
He needs help,
you wouldn't talk that way

313
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,210
if you walked just one mile
in your uncle's shoes.

314
00:14:42,230 --> 00:14:46,250
My uncle can't walk one mile
in my uncle's shoes.

315
00:14:46,269 --> 00:14:51,009
Listen, why don't you go
haunt
one of your big-boned
friends?

316
00:14:51,269 --> 00:14:54,090
Big-boned?

317
00:14:54,110 --> 00:14:58,090
Okay, I'm gonna show you
big-boned.

318
00:14:58,110 --> 00:15:01,159
[instrumental music]

319
00:15:07,129 --> 00:15:10,070
Looks like Lorena Bobbitt
got to this suit, huh?

320
00:15:10,090 --> 00:15:12,059
[chuckles]
Let's just call this part

321
00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:15,059
of your family education kit
'cause you know why?

322
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:19,159
In every group, there's
always
an insensitive boob.

323
00:15:19,179 --> 00:15:21,289
We must be lucky, we got two.

324
00:15:23,070 --> 00:15:25,110
Well, uh, this dumb suit
ain't gonna prove nothin'.

325
00:15:25,129 --> 00:15:27,009
I could wear this thing
for a week.

326
00:15:27,029 --> 00:15:29,019
Oh, really? Why don't you
just go out for one day?

327
00:15:29,039 --> 00:15:30,250
Go out in public
and see what it feels like

328
00:15:30,269 --> 00:15:32,049
to look like this. Go ahead.

329
00:15:32,070 --> 00:15:34,240
Pfft. Look, this thing
will be a breeze.

330
00:15:34,259 --> 00:15:37,070
[instrumental music]

331
00:15:37,090 --> 00:15:40,230
♪ Lady I'm your knight
in shining armor ♪

332
00:15:40,250 --> 00:15:42,120
♪ And I love you ♪

333
00:15:42,139 --> 00:15:43,220
♪ You have made me what I am ♪

334
00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:47,279
♪ And I am yours.. ♪

335
00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:52,070
- Will, are you alright?
- Yeah, why?

336
00:15:52,090 --> 00:15:55,120
You were just singing
"Lady" to a melon.

337
00:15:55,139 --> 00:15:59,169
Oh, that's how I check them
for ripeness.

338
00:15:59,190 --> 00:16:02,059
Will, you've been acting
really weird.

339
00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:04,100
[laughing]

340
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:10,279
Oh, that's funny?
Y'all think that's funny? Huh?

341
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:13,210
You think that's funny, huh?
Whoo.

342
00:16:13,230 --> 00:16:15,129
Hey, y-you ain't had no
home training

343
00:16:15,149 --> 00:16:17,240
that's what your problem is.

344
00:16:17,259 --> 00:16:20,019
Whoo.

345
00:16:20,039 --> 00:16:21,179
Potato chips?

346
00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:23,039
What about Susan Powter?

347
00:16:23,059 --> 00:16:25,179
Listen, Will, I'm as health
conscious as the next person

348
00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:27,220
but when she threw out
the strawberry Pop-Tarts

349
00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:29,230
she crossed the line.

350
00:16:29,250 --> 00:16:32,000
Which reminds me,
I'll be right back.

351
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:36,009
Oh, excuse me, I'm sorry.

352
00:16:41,039 --> 00:16:43,090
I'm retaining water.

353
00:16:50,289 --> 00:16:55,000
Well, well, look who's here,
Lisa and friend.

354
00:16:55,019 --> 00:16:58,049
Oh, we need paper towels
and a can opener.

355
00:17:02,210 --> 00:17:04,140
Is that fat guy followin' us?

356
00:17:06,109 --> 00:17:09,099
What fat guy? Come on.

357
00:17:27,250 --> 00:17:31,009
Excuse me, is there some reason
why you're following us?

358
00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:40,220
- Will?
- Well, it ain't Fat Albert.

359
00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:43,259
What are you doing?

360
00:17:43,279 --> 00:17:46,109
What am I doing?
What are.. Oh!

361
00:17:50,269 --> 00:17:53,200
What am I doing?
What're you doing?

362
00:17:53,220 --> 00:17:55,099
I don't believe you, girl.

363
00:17:55,119 --> 00:17:57,259
I thought we had somethin' real.

364
00:17:57,279 --> 00:18:00,200
Here I am singing stupid
love songs about you

365
00:18:00,220 --> 00:18:02,160
and thinking about you
all the time.

366
00:18:02,180 --> 00:18:04,250
'Writing your name
on every book I own.'

367
00:18:04,269 --> 00:18:07,200
And you stepping out on me
in a grocery store.

368
00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:10,119
You know how ridiculous
that makes me look?

369
00:18:12,069 --> 00:18:14,059
Huh? Do you?

370
00:18:14,079 --> 00:18:15,250
Will, for the umpteenth time

371
00:18:15,269 --> 00:18:18,160
I told you, Dana and I
are just friends.

372
00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:22,119
Oh, oh. Well, let me tell you
about your slimy little friend.

373
00:18:22,140 --> 00:18:24,170
He's just trying to gain your
confidence

374
00:18:24,190 --> 00:18:26,210
so he'll know
when you're most vulnerable.

375
00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:28,049
And that's when he's gonna
pounce on you

376
00:18:28,069 --> 00:18:31,019
like a cheetah on a rabbit.

377
00:18:31,039 --> 00:18:32,130
And you believe that?

378
00:18:32,150 --> 00:18:34,269
Believe it? I've done it.

379
00:18:36,089 --> 00:18:37,170
Hey, man,
you've got me all wrong.

380
00:18:37,190 --> 00:18:39,119
Hey, hey, hey.

381
00:18:39,140 --> 00:18:41,150
Look here, dude.

382
00:18:41,170 --> 00:18:45,069
This is betweenmoiandher.

383
00:18:45,089 --> 00:18:47,170
We don't need ya.

384
00:18:50,069 --> 00:18:52,049
I'm out of here, Lis.

385
00:18:53,029 --> 00:18:54,109
Hey, you just hold on a second.

386
00:18:54,130 --> 00:18:55,140
What? Hold on what?

387
00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:57,039
If you are gonna have any kind

388
00:18:57,059 --> 00:18:58,069
of relationship with me

389
00:18:58,089 --> 00:19:00,019
you are gonna have to trust me.

390
00:19:00,039 --> 00:19:02,240
The same way that I trust you
not to date anybody else.

391
00:19:02,259 --> 00:19:05,079
Oh, yeah, well,
I did date somebody else.

392
00:19:05,099 --> 00:19:07,079
- Oh, you did?
- Yes, I did, last night.

393
00:19:07,099 --> 00:19:08,279
One of my friends.

394
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:12,079
And she was ready and willing
to do anything I wanted to do.

395
00:19:12,099 --> 00:19:14,029
Except we couldn't do
what I wanted to do.

396
00:19:14,049 --> 00:19:16,009
'Cause all I wanted to do
was be with you.

397
00:19:16,029 --> 00:19:17,130
- Oh, really?
- Yes, really.

398
00:19:17,150 --> 00:19:19,019
- And do you know why?
- No, why?

399
00:19:19,039 --> 00:19:21,099
Because I love you.

400
00:19:31,089 --> 00:19:33,190
What did you just say?

401
00:19:33,210 --> 00:19:35,170
I said I love you.

402
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:38,140
Baby.

403
00:19:44,019 --> 00:19:46,029
[instrumental music]

404
00:19:46,049 --> 00:19:48,200
So let's just say
I wanted to do an exercise tape.

405
00:19:48,220 --> 00:19:50,250
That would bring me, what,
10 million?

406
00:19:50,269 --> 00:19:52,079
Though, I wouldn't actually

407
00:19:52,099 --> 00:19:54,130
have to touch fat people,
would I?

408
00:19:54,150 --> 00:19:57,259
Could they just be
electronically morphed in later?

409
00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:01,190
Philip, a-as much as I'd like
to hang around

410
00:20:01,210 --> 00:20:03,160
and help you reach
your ideal weight, I can't.

411
00:20:03,180 --> 00:20:05,049
I gotta go, I gotta go.

412
00:20:05,069 --> 00:20:08,250
Because I can't stand
being around you.

413
00:20:09,279 --> 00:20:13,059
Ooh, you have such a grating
personality.

414
00:20:15,210 --> 00:20:17,130
That's my boy.

415
00:20:18,269 --> 00:20:21,250
Come on, everyone,
tuna melts on me. Come on.

416
00:20:23,220 --> 00:20:26,069
- Hey, what's up, G?
- Hey, Master William.

417
00:20:26,089 --> 00:20:27,109
Guess what, Geoffrey?

418
00:20:27,130 --> 00:20:29,200
We saw Lisa at the grocery store

419
00:20:29,220 --> 00:20:32,059
and Will used the L-word.

420
00:20:32,079 --> 00:20:33,170
Leather?

421
00:20:36,089 --> 00:20:38,160
No, love.

422
00:20:38,180 --> 00:20:40,180
Tomato, tomato.

423
00:20:41,269 --> 00:20:42,289
That's right, G,
I'm telling you

424
00:20:43,009 --> 00:20:44,109
I made the leap, man.

425
00:20:44,130 --> 00:20:47,200
First time in my life,
I'm a one-woman man.

426
00:20:47,220 --> 00:20:50,130
Well, you know
what you have to do?

427
00:20:50,150 --> 00:20:52,170
[vocalization]

428
00:20:54,029 --> 00:20:55,109
Repeat after me.

429
00:20:55,130 --> 00:20:57,140
Repeat after me.

430
00:21:00,140 --> 00:21:01,269
Sorry.

431
00:21:04,279 --> 00:21:07,220
I accept this gift and all
the responsibilities it carries.

432
00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:10,049
I accept this gift and all
the responsibilities it carries.

433
00:21:10,069 --> 00:21:12,019
- I'll never betray it.
- I'll never betray it.

434
00:21:12,039 --> 00:21:14,019
- I'll never abandon it.
- I'll never abandon it.

435
00:21:14,039 --> 00:21:16,109
I will never reveal the secrets
which it contains.

436
00:21:16,130 --> 00:21:19,130
I will never reveal the secrets
which it contains.

437
00:21:21,119 --> 00:21:23,039
Hold out your hands.

438
00:21:27,019 --> 00:21:28,279
Carlton..

439
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:31,089
...I give you my chicktionary.

440
00:21:34,089 --> 00:21:38,089
May it be as good to you
as it has been to me.

441
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:45,140
I can feel it.

442
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:51,180
I can feel the power!

443
00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:54,150
Yes!

444
00:21:56,049 --> 00:21:57,269
[sobbing]
Yes!

445
00:21:57,289 --> 00:22:00,259
(Will)
Y'all stay tuned
for more "Fresh Prince."

446
00:22:02,279 --> 00:22:05,130
[theme music]

447
00:22:05,150 --> 00:22:06,269
♪ Yeah ♪

448
00:22:10,019 --> 00:22:11,150
♪ Yeah ♪

449
00:22:14,230 --> 00:22:16,000
♪ Yeah ♪

450
00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:20,259
♪ Yeah ♪

451
00:22:24,019 --> 00:22:25,160
♪ Yeah ♪

452
00:22:28,170 --> 00:22:29,269
♪ Yeah ♪♪