1 00:00:01,199 --> 00:00:02,189 [instrumental music] 2 00:00:02,209 --> 00:00:04,089 (Geoffrey) Mail call! 3 00:00:04,110 --> 00:00:06,070 "Wall Street Journal" for Master Carlton. 4 00:00:06,089 --> 00:00:07,250 Thank you, Geoffrey. 5 00:00:07,269 --> 00:00:11,189 A statement from the Bank Of Bel-Air for Ms. Ashley. 6 00:00:11,210 --> 00:00:14,179 And a plain brown package for me. 7 00:00:14,199 --> 00:00:16,219 I'll be taking my break now. 8 00:00:18,210 --> 00:00:20,190 Bank of Bel-Air? 9 00:00:20,210 --> 00:00:22,239 Yeah. Well, bye. 10 00:00:23,289 --> 00:00:26,140 (Will) See you later, Ash. 11 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:28,059 Something's afoot. 12 00:00:30,109 --> 00:00:32,250 And something's a foot and a half. 13 00:00:35,039 --> 00:00:36,189 I'm talking about Ashley. 14 00:00:36,210 --> 00:00:38,289 I know where every penny of this family's money is. 15 00:00:39,009 --> 00:00:40,250 And none of it is in the Bank Of Bel-Air. 16 00:00:40,270 --> 00:00:42,000 So? 17 00:00:42,020 --> 00:00:44,200 So, obviously, Ashley's hoarding money. 18 00:00:44,219 --> 00:00:46,039 And I know why. 19 00:00:46,060 --> 00:00:47,250 She's amassing a private fortune 20 00:00:47,270 --> 00:00:50,049 so she can buy out the family business 21 00:00:50,070 --> 00:00:52,100 in a hostile takeover. 22 00:00:54,009 --> 00:00:57,000 A sweater and a string of pearls 23 00:00:57,020 --> 00:00:59,049 and you'd be Angela Lansbury. 24 00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:01,259 [theme song] 25 00:01:01,280 --> 00:01:04,099 ♪ Now this is a story all about how ♪ 26 00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:06,200 ♪ My life got flipped turned upside-down ♪ 27 00:01:06,219 --> 00:01:09,019 ♪ And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there ♪ 28 00:01:09,039 --> 00:01:10,120 ♪ I'll tell you how I became the prince ♪ 29 00:01:10,140 --> 00:01:12,120 ♪ Of a town called Bel-Air ♪ 30 00:01:20,269 --> 00:01:23,150 ♪ In West Philadelphia born and raised ♪ 31 00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:26,019 ♪ On the playground is where I spent most of my days ♪ 32 00:01:26,039 --> 00:01:28,019 ♪ Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool ♪ 33 00:01:28,039 --> 00:01:30,200 ♪ And all shootin' some B-ball outside of the school ♪ 34 00:01:30,219 --> 00:01:33,009 ♪ When a couple of guys who were up to no good ♪ 35 00:01:33,030 --> 00:01:35,060 ♪ Started makin' trouble in my neighborhood ♪ 36 00:01:35,079 --> 00:01:37,259 ♪ I got in one little fight and my mom got scared and said ♪ 37 00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:40,039 ♪ You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air ♪ 38 00:01:40,060 --> 00:01:42,120 ♪ I whistled for a cab and when it came near ♪ 39 00:01:42,140 --> 00:01:45,009 ♪ The license plate said Fresh and it had dice in the mirror ♪ 40 00:01:45,030 --> 00:01:47,030 ♪ If anything I can say that this cab was rare ♪ 41 00:01:47,049 --> 00:01:51,049 ♪ But I thought nah forget it yo homes to Bel-Air ♪ 42 00:01:51,069 --> 00:01:54,069 ♪ I pulled up to a house about 7:00 or 8:00 ♪ 43 00:01:54,090 --> 00:01:57,020 ♪ And I yelled to the cabbie yo homes smell you later ♪ 44 00:01:57,039 --> 00:01:59,069 ♪ I looked at my kingdom I was finally there ♪ 45 00:01:59,090 --> 00:02:02,120 ♪ To sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air ♪ 46 00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:16,219 [crashing] 47 00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:18,229 (Ashley) 'Ouch! Shoot!' 48 00:02:24,050 --> 00:02:27,139 Ashley? What are you doing? 49 00:02:28,139 --> 00:02:30,090 Changing for school. 50 00:02:30,110 --> 00:02:32,189 See, um.. 51 00:02:32,210 --> 00:02:35,250 Today is, uh, casual day. 52 00:02:37,150 --> 00:02:39,180 Well, uh, that sounds like 53 00:02:39,199 --> 00:02:42,129 the, uh, truth. 54 00:02:42,150 --> 00:02:45,240 Actually, Will, I've been keeping a secret. 55 00:02:45,259 --> 00:02:47,180 And if I don't tell someone, I'm gonna explode. 56 00:02:47,199 --> 00:02:50,020 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, don't tell me, 'cause if I know 57 00:02:50,039 --> 00:02:52,039 I can't say I don't know when you get busted 58 00:02:52,060 --> 00:02:54,180 and Uncle Phil start rounding up the usual suspects. 59 00:02:54,199 --> 00:02:56,159 And I am the usual suspects. 60 00:02:57,170 --> 00:02:59,020 I dropped out of Bel-Air Academy 61 00:02:59,039 --> 00:03:00,120 and I've been going to public school 62 00:03:00,139 --> 00:03:02,159 since the beginning of the semester. 63 00:03:05,139 --> 00:03:06,240 I didn't hear that. 64 00:03:06,259 --> 00:03:09,229 - I said I dropped out! - I heard what you said, Ashley. 65 00:03:09,250 --> 00:03:12,270 Ash, what are you.. How can you do that? 66 00:03:12,289 --> 00:03:15,189 I-it was easy. I forged all the papers. 67 00:03:15,210 --> 00:03:16,250 Took daddy's tuition money 68 00:03:16,270 --> 00:03:19,099 and put it in an interest-bearing account. 69 00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:20,259 Pretty good, huh? 70 00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:24,079 You're tripping? 71 00:03:24,099 --> 00:03:26,189 No, no. No, no. You're worse than tripping. 72 00:03:26,210 --> 00:03:29,079 You've fallen and you can't get up! 73 00:03:31,020 --> 00:03:32,060 And he will find out. 74 00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:34,129 And when he does, he's going to ground you 75 00:03:34,150 --> 00:03:35,229 into dust. 76 00:03:36,219 --> 00:03:38,189 Will, you don't understand. 77 00:03:38,210 --> 00:03:41,000 Everything's so fake at Bel-Air Academy. 78 00:03:41,020 --> 00:03:44,009 The teachers, the kids, the noses. 79 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:47,030 I can't take it anymore. 80 00:03:47,050 --> 00:03:49,240 Please don't tell daddy. 81 00:03:49,259 --> 00:03:52,020 I, look, I ain't gonna dime you, but if he subpoenas me 82 00:03:52,039 --> 00:03:54,030 I'm gonna be singing like Luther. 83 00:03:56,129 --> 00:03:59,139 [keyboard keys clacking] 84 00:04:06,129 --> 00:04:08,080 I'm in! Ha-ha-ha! 85 00:04:10,009 --> 00:04:11,139 Will, come here! 86 00:04:12,270 --> 00:04:14,039 Okay. 87 00:04:19,230 --> 00:04:21,209 "Bank Of Bel-Air?" 88 00:04:21,230 --> 00:04:23,209 Carlton, how hid you tap into those records? 89 00:04:23,230 --> 00:04:25,250 Well, I overrode the configuration files 90 00:04:25,269 --> 00:04:29,019 and deleted the encrypted password. 91 00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:30,100 Goodness. 92 00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:31,170 It's Hack Boy 93 00:04:31,189 --> 00:04:33,269 the stubby-fingered avenger. 94 00:04:35,050 --> 00:04:36,120 Go ahead and joke. 95 00:04:36,139 --> 00:04:38,110 But sometimes you have to go around the law 96 00:04:38,129 --> 00:04:39,259 to expose the greater evil. 97 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:42,019 Ashley's hiding $10,000! 98 00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:44,170 Now, where did she get that kind of money? 99 00:04:44,189 --> 00:04:49,019 Maybe she's Counterfeit Girl, the sister of Hack Boy. 100 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:50,180 Look, Carlton, it's none of your business, man. 101 00:04:50,199 --> 00:04:52,100 Why don't you just butt out, alright? 102 00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:54,029 Oh, I see. 103 00:04:55,090 --> 00:04:57,149 She's already gotten to you. 104 00:05:00,019 --> 00:05:01,180 Trust no one. 105 00:05:03,110 --> 00:05:04,170 Will, I don't get it. 106 00:05:04,189 --> 00:05:06,009 My producer told me that I'm losing 107 00:05:06,029 --> 00:05:07,269 my black audience. 108 00:05:07,290 --> 00:05:09,009 Oh. 109 00:05:11,100 --> 00:05:12,129 I-I don't see why, Hil. 110 00:05:12,149 --> 00:05:14,259 I mean, you got the best talk show on TV. 111 00:05:15,189 --> 00:05:17,079 You really think so? 112 00:05:17,100 --> 00:05:19,290 Well, what was your favorite topic? 113 00:05:20,009 --> 00:05:23,120 Uh, yo, uh, the one with the-the, uh 114 00:05:23,139 --> 00:05:26,040 dysfunctional, uh, single parent 115 00:05:26,060 --> 00:05:28,009 uh, gang-member nuns. 116 00:05:30,279 --> 00:05:33,240 Hil, I-I've never actually seen one of your shows. 117 00:05:33,259 --> 00:05:35,259 - Will! - Uh, listen, Hilary, I'm sorry. 118 00:05:35,279 --> 00:05:37,199 You just need to do some stuff that reaches out 119 00:05:37,220 --> 00:05:40,230 to your brothers and sisters. 120 00:05:40,250 --> 00:05:44,139 Why? What have Carlton and Ashley ever done for me? 121 00:05:46,069 --> 00:05:47,129 - Hi. - Hi. 122 00:05:47,149 --> 00:05:49,129 Whoa-ho-ho! 123 00:05:49,149 --> 00:05:51,269 If it isn't Belly Dee Williams. 124 00:05:54,139 --> 00:05:55,290 I was just kidding. Okay, man, you look great. 125 00:05:56,009 --> 00:05:58,100 - Where y'all going? - A fundraiser at the museum. 126 00:05:58,120 --> 00:05:59,269 Boy, do I hate these things. 127 00:05:59,290 --> 00:06:01,279 Then why do you agree to be on the Board of Trustees? 128 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:05,129 Well, I'm a judge, and judges are supposed to be on boards. 129 00:06:05,149 --> 00:06:08,230 Well, it's just that with you, it's usually a smorgasbord. 130 00:06:10,269 --> 00:06:11,259 Hi, mom. Hi, dad. 131 00:06:11,279 --> 00:06:13,009 - Hi, baby. - Hi, honey. 132 00:06:13,029 --> 00:06:15,040 Will, I need to talk to you. 133 00:06:15,060 --> 00:06:16,149 Bye. 134 00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:20,019 Uh, it's girl talk. 135 00:06:25,110 --> 00:06:28,189 Will, my homeroom teacher insists on meeting my parents. 136 00:06:28,209 --> 00:06:30,110 I've already canceled five times. 137 00:06:30,129 --> 00:06:32,149 She wants to see someone tonight. 138 00:06:32,170 --> 00:06:33,209 Hey, Ashley, you're just gonna have 139 00:06:33,230 --> 00:06:35,090 to come clean with Uncle Phil. 140 00:06:35,110 --> 00:06:37,100 I can't! I'm waiting for the right time. 141 00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:38,139 And when is that? 142 00:06:38,159 --> 00:06:41,149 When we go shopping for my cap and gown. 143 00:06:41,170 --> 00:06:44,159 That's assuming that you're gonna live till graduation. 144 00:06:46,269 --> 00:06:48,060 Will, I need your help. 145 00:06:48,079 --> 00:06:50,259 Ashley, let me sum this up for you in two words. 146 00:06:50,279 --> 00:06:52,189 Unh-unh. 147 00:06:52,209 --> 00:06:56,189 You know, I didn't want to have to say this. 148 00:06:56,209 --> 00:06:58,290 But it's your fault I'm in this mess. 149 00:07:00,069 --> 00:07:01,250 My fault? 150 00:07:01,269 --> 00:07:04,029 Oh, this one here gonna be good. 151 00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:07,000 Before you showed up 152 00:07:07,019 --> 00:07:10,050 I was leading a nice, sheltered existence. 153 00:07:10,069 --> 00:07:13,009 But you made me see there was a whole world beyond Bel-Air 154 00:07:13,029 --> 00:07:15,110 filled with people who take public transportation 155 00:07:15,129 --> 00:07:18,000 and don't have butlers. 156 00:07:18,019 --> 00:07:19,129 I like that world. 157 00:07:19,149 --> 00:07:20,160 It's like a drug, Will 158 00:07:20,180 --> 00:07:22,149 and you got me hooked! 159 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:28,269 Well, you better go cold turkey before you wind up a dead duck. 160 00:07:28,290 --> 00:07:30,069 - Will. - Ashley, no. 161 00:07:30,089 --> 00:07:32,000 Now, I'm sorry that you got yourself 162 00:07:32,019 --> 00:07:33,129 into this little predicament. 163 00:07:33,149 --> 00:07:36,269 But trying to blame it on me, now, that's just low. 164 00:07:36,290 --> 00:07:41,170 You're right. I can't believe I said that. 165 00:07:41,189 --> 00:07:44,050 You've always been so good to me. 166 00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:47,149 I'm just so desperate. 167 00:07:47,170 --> 00:07:51,220 [sobbing] I'm a terrible, terrible person. 168 00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:53,069 [sobbing] 169 00:07:53,090 --> 00:07:55,120 No. No, no. 170 00:07:55,139 --> 00:07:58,079 Look, don't cry, Ashley. Come on. Come on, alright. 171 00:07:58,100 --> 00:08:00,269 Well, we'll-we'll figure a way out of this, alright? 172 00:08:00,290 --> 00:08:04,000 Thanks, Will. You're a saint. 173 00:08:08,110 --> 00:08:11,040 Wait! What was that? 174 00:08:13,100 --> 00:08:15,019 - What? - You smiled. 175 00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:18,040 I saw your reflection in the window. 176 00:08:18,060 --> 00:08:22,040 Oh, no. That was a happy smile. See? 177 00:08:22,060 --> 00:08:24,029 I don't believe I fell for them crocodile tears. 178 00:08:24,050 --> 00:08:25,139 Girl, you on your own. 179 00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:27,129 Alright, fine! 180 00:08:27,149 --> 00:08:28,279 Be that way! 181 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:31,269 But if I go down, I'm taking you with me! 182 00:08:34,259 --> 00:08:35,279 [door shuts] 183 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:37,100 Ashley. 184 00:08:38,049 --> 00:08:39,289 I ain't do nothing! 185 00:08:42,159 --> 00:08:45,070 Do you wanna call your parents and see what happened? 186 00:08:45,090 --> 00:08:48,000 No. Maybe we should reschedule again. 187 00:08:48,019 --> 00:08:51,220 Ashley, is there something you wanna tell me? 188 00:08:53,009 --> 00:08:54,129 Ms. Sharpe.. 189 00:08:55,149 --> 00:08:57,059 ...the truth is-- 190 00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:59,149 Ashley.. 191 00:09:02,029 --> 00:09:04,220 There's my little bran muffin. 192 00:09:08,090 --> 00:09:11,009 Oh. Is this your father? 193 00:09:11,029 --> 00:09:12,190 Sure. 194 00:09:12,210 --> 00:09:15,220 Ms. Sharpe, this is, uh, daddy. 195 00:09:16,169 --> 00:09:18,110 Mm. 196 00:09:18,129 --> 00:09:22,129 How can something so smooth be called sharp? 197 00:09:24,210 --> 00:09:27,230 Yes. Well, nice to finally meet you, Mr. Banks. 198 00:09:27,250 --> 00:09:29,080 Raul, please. 199 00:09:32,230 --> 00:09:34,059 Raul. 200 00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:35,200 Oh, and welcome back from the Orient. 201 00:09:35,220 --> 00:09:37,169 [speaking in foreign language] 202 00:09:37,190 --> 00:09:39,159 God bless you, Ms. Sharpe. 203 00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:47,100 It is Ms. Sharpe, isn't it? 204 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:49,230 - Yes, it is. - Mm. 205 00:09:49,250 --> 00:09:52,059 You're a fine teacher, Ms. Sharpe. 206 00:09:56,240 --> 00:09:58,269 Hey, I bet you could teach me a thing or two.. 207 00:09:58,289 --> 00:10:00,070 [groans] 208 00:10:01,179 --> 00:10:05,070 ...on the, on the academic side, I mean. 209 00:10:05,090 --> 00:10:06,259 Well, will Mrs. Banks be joining us? 210 00:10:06,279 --> 00:10:08,080 Uh, no, I'm single. 211 00:10:08,100 --> 00:10:13,070 I mean, um, Ashley's mother ran out on us. 212 00:10:14,090 --> 00:10:17,110 Ashley was but a mere tyke at the time. 213 00:10:17,129 --> 00:10:19,210 I had to be both mommy and daddy. 214 00:10:19,230 --> 00:10:22,190 We went from training wheels to training bras. 215 00:10:24,019 --> 00:10:26,080 They both came off too soon, didn't they kitten? 216 00:10:26,100 --> 00:10:27,220 [laughs] 217 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:32,230 Well, anyway, about Ashley's schoolwork. 218 00:10:32,250 --> 00:10:36,029 You should be very proud of her. She does excellent work. 219 00:10:36,049 --> 00:10:37,259 She participates actively in class 220 00:10:37,279 --> 00:10:41,220 and she's just a pleasure to have around. 221 00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:44,009 You know, that runs in the family. 222 00:10:45,279 --> 00:10:47,210 Yes. Well. Ahem. 223 00:10:47,230 --> 00:10:50,289 - Do you have any questions? - No. Not a one. 224 00:10:51,009 --> 00:10:52,279 Well, thank you for your time, Ms. Sharpe. 225 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:54,059 Uh, what do you say we have the next 226 00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:55,129 parent-teacher meeting at my place? 227 00:10:55,149 --> 00:10:57,070 - Huh? - Uh, well, I don't-- 228 00:10:57,090 --> 00:10:59,169 Thanks for being so understanding, Ms. Sharpe. 229 00:10:59,190 --> 00:11:01,259 Come on, daddy. It's time for your pill. 230 00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:06,289 [sighs] It's a miracle this whole thing worked. 231 00:11:07,009 --> 00:11:08,019 What you talking about, girl? 232 00:11:08,039 --> 00:11:09,090 Denzel ain't the only brother 233 00:11:09,110 --> 00:11:11,230 that can act. 234 00:11:11,250 --> 00:11:14,019 Well, at least this buys me some time 235 00:11:14,039 --> 00:11:15,269 before I have to break the news to daddy. 236 00:11:15,289 --> 00:11:17,090 Well, I have to get my history books. 237 00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:19,200 You stay right here, Raul. 238 00:11:20,210 --> 00:11:22,090 I made that up. 239 00:11:38,090 --> 00:11:40,070 Mr. Banks, did you forget something? 240 00:11:40,090 --> 00:11:41,210 Uh, you know, I'm glad you asked. 241 00:11:41,230 --> 00:11:42,259 I, uh, forgot to give you 242 00:11:42,279 --> 00:11:44,240 the number to my direct line. 243 00:11:44,259 --> 00:11:47,129 Ah, look, I'm very flattered, but-- 244 00:11:47,149 --> 00:11:49,039 You know.. 245 00:11:49,059 --> 00:11:51,230 ...that is an absolutely intoxicating fragrance 246 00:11:51,250 --> 00:11:53,110 that you're wearing. 247 00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:56,029 Uh.. Come closer. 248 00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:58,100 Hey. 249 00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:04,000 That's a fake mustache. 250 00:12:04,019 --> 00:12:05,120 No, it's not. 251 00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:09,000 [gasps] Yes, it is! 252 00:12:09,019 --> 00:12:10,169 No, it's not! 253 00:12:12,210 --> 00:12:15,019 Look, I don't know who you are 254 00:12:15,039 --> 00:12:17,279 but I'm calling your real parents right now. 255 00:12:18,289 --> 00:12:20,100 Will? 256 00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:21,289 No, it's not! 257 00:12:23,129 --> 00:12:24,210 Ms. Sharpe. 258 00:12:25,100 --> 00:12:26,259 It's not! 259 00:12:31,110 --> 00:12:32,179 You just had to go back. 260 00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:37,059 We were out the door, Will. We were free. Free! 261 00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:39,039 Look, ease up, Ms. Tubman. 262 00:12:42,169 --> 00:12:45,039 You know, Ms. Sharpe gave us the weekend 263 00:12:45,059 --> 00:12:47,059 to break it to Uncle Phil. 264 00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:51,210 Now, let's go over this evil-twin story again. 265 00:12:51,230 --> 00:12:55,059 Philip, I'm sure the mayor's mother meant it as a compliment. 266 00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:56,080 Oh, really? 267 00:12:56,100 --> 00:12:57,169 Then I should be honored that she thinks 268 00:12:57,190 --> 00:13:00,000 I look like a black Alfred Hitchcock. 269 00:13:01,149 --> 00:13:03,100 Hi, kids. 270 00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:05,110 [imitating Hitchcock] Good evening. 271 00:13:10,190 --> 00:13:11,220 Wow! 272 00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:14,000 [yawns] Goodnight. 273 00:13:14,220 --> 00:13:16,179 Ashley. Ashley. 274 00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:18,129 [inaudible] 275 00:13:24,139 --> 00:13:26,190 [sighs] Okay. 276 00:13:26,210 --> 00:13:29,230 Mom, dad, it's like this. 277 00:13:31,039 --> 00:13:32,169 Will has something he wants to tell you. 278 00:13:32,190 --> 00:13:34,039 I ain't got nothing. 279 00:13:36,259 --> 00:13:40,039 Um, Your Honor, uh.. 280 00:13:41,049 --> 00:13:43,220 Now, before you deliver your verdict 281 00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:46,029 the defense dictates that you sustain 282 00:13:46,049 --> 00:13:48,200 the motion of the ocean.. 283 00:13:50,179 --> 00:13:52,019 ...because most parents want the truth 284 00:13:52,039 --> 00:13:54,259 but they can't handle the truth! 285 00:13:58,210 --> 00:14:00,179 So in conclusion 286 00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:02,149 I move for a change of venue. 287 00:14:02,169 --> 00:14:04,179 What do you say you give us a half-hour head-start? 288 00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:06,289 What the hell are you talking about? 289 00:14:07,009 --> 00:14:09,250 Daddy, I withdrew from Bel-Air Academy six weeks ago 290 00:14:09,269 --> 00:14:12,009 and transferred to Morris High. 291 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:16,149 You what? 292 00:14:16,169 --> 00:14:18,009 I'm not mad. 293 00:14:19,070 --> 00:14:20,220 You're not? 294 00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:23,200 Oh. And you thought he was gonna be mad. 295 00:14:23,220 --> 00:14:27,190 Oh, well, you transferred out, you'll transfer back. 296 00:14:27,210 --> 00:14:29,110 Tomorrow when I wake up 297 00:14:29,129 --> 00:14:31,250 Ashley will be back in Bel-Air Academy 298 00:14:31,269 --> 00:14:34,070 and maybe Will won't even be here. 299 00:14:35,129 --> 00:14:37,070 Daddy, I'm not going back. 300 00:14:39,279 --> 00:14:41,120 Now I'm mad. 301 00:14:42,159 --> 00:14:43,230 You knew about this, didn't you? 302 00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:46,179 No. Will didn't do anything wrong. 303 00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:48,059 Uh, that's right, you tell him, Ashley. 304 00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:49,279 If anything, I should thank Will. 305 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:51,289 He's the whole reason I transferred. 306 00:14:52,009 --> 00:14:53,190 Whoa, whoa. 307 00:14:53,210 --> 00:14:56,269 Pull it back, baby. Pull it back. 308 00:14:59,019 --> 00:15:01,289 Like I'm doing. Pull it back. 309 00:15:02,009 --> 00:15:06,159 Daddy, Will made me realize how limited my life has been. 310 00:15:06,179 --> 00:15:09,070 I wanna be with real people with real concerns. 311 00:15:09,090 --> 00:15:11,289 Oh, and people in Bel-Air don't have real concerns? 312 00:15:12,009 --> 00:15:16,009 - It's pronounced Porsche. - Porsche! 313 00:15:16,029 --> 00:15:18,139 - Porsche! - Porsche! 314 00:15:21,220 --> 00:15:26,049 - Ashley, honey, you lied to us. - I knew you'd say no. 315 00:15:26,070 --> 00:15:27,259 But, honey, we just want you 316 00:15:27,279 --> 00:15:30,009 to have the best education possible. 317 00:15:30,029 --> 00:15:32,230 Mom, Bel-Air Academy doesn't equal better. 318 00:15:32,250 --> 00:15:35,049 You and dad both went to public schools. 319 00:15:35,070 --> 00:15:37,129 Whoa, good point, Ash. 320 00:15:42,029 --> 00:15:43,120 Can't we at least discuss this? 321 00:15:43,139 --> 00:15:44,269 I believe we just did. 322 00:15:44,289 --> 00:15:48,139 - San Tropez! - San Tropez! 323 00:15:54,019 --> 00:15:56,129 Will, I took your advice and reached out 324 00:15:56,149 --> 00:15:58,070 to our brothers and sisters. 325 00:15:58,090 --> 00:16:00,149 Look at this. 326 00:16:00,169 --> 00:16:01,250 [audience applauding on TV] 327 00:16:01,269 --> 00:16:04,009 Thank you. Thank you. 328 00:16:04,029 --> 00:16:06,250 Hello and welcome to "Hilary." 329 00:16:06,269 --> 00:16:08,139 As an African-American woman 330 00:16:08,159 --> 00:16:11,230 I'd like to dedicate this show to all my sisters. 331 00:16:11,250 --> 00:16:15,019 Presenting fashions from the motherland. 332 00:16:15,039 --> 00:16:17,159 [instrumental music] 333 00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:21,269 Inga is wearing a hand-woven dashiki from Nairobi. 334 00:16:21,289 --> 00:16:24,230 Her jewelry is from the Ivory Coast 335 00:16:24,250 --> 00:16:28,200 and her weave is from Whoopi Goldberg's House of Hair. 336 00:16:28,220 --> 00:16:31,149 Work it, you Nubian princess, you. 337 00:16:34,149 --> 00:16:36,129 Our next model is Buffie.. 338 00:16:38,179 --> 00:16:41,139 Um, Hil, I just, I-I, I really wanna commend 339 00:16:41,159 --> 00:16:45,070 your attempt to reach out to your African-American viewers 340 00:16:45,090 --> 00:16:47,220 but, uh, you forgot one thing. 341 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:50,220 - What? - African-Americans! 342 00:16:52,009 --> 00:16:53,159 Oh. 343 00:16:56,110 --> 00:16:58,230 Carlton, she went to private school, didn't she? 344 00:16:59,110 --> 00:17:00,179 Touche. 345 00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:03,240 But there's a bigger issue here. People talk. 346 00:17:03,259 --> 00:17:06,140 I mean, what if an admissions officer at Princeton found out 347 00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:08,140 my sister was going to public school? 348 00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:10,210 I mean, my God! 349 00:17:13,259 --> 00:17:16,130 (Ashley) Daddy, I'd like you to meet someone. 350 00:17:16,150 --> 00:17:21,009 This is Ms. Sharpe. She's my homeroom teacher at Morris High. 351 00:17:21,029 --> 00:17:23,079 Ms. Sharpe, this is my father. 352 00:17:23,099 --> 00:17:25,170 - The real one. - Thanks, Ashley. 353 00:17:26,230 --> 00:17:28,099 - Pleased to meet you. - Same here. 354 00:17:28,119 --> 00:17:30,250 - Why don't you have a seat? - Thank you. 355 00:17:30,269 --> 00:17:32,160 I thought if we met, I could allay 356 00:17:32,180 --> 00:17:34,049 any concerns you might have. 357 00:17:34,069 --> 00:17:36,000 Yes, well, Ms. Sharpe, you, uh 358 00:17:36,019 --> 00:17:38,109 you, uh, made quite an impression upon my daughter. 359 00:17:38,130 --> 00:17:40,279 But, with all due respect, I am thoroughly satisfied 360 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:44,039 with the education that Ashley is receiving at Bel-Air Academy. 361 00:17:44,059 --> 00:17:45,259 Well, perhaps you're not aware of Morris High's 362 00:17:45,279 --> 00:17:47,059 academic achievements. 363 00:17:47,079 --> 00:17:49,000 Ms. Sharpe, I don't doubt that Morris High 364 00:17:49,019 --> 00:17:52,119 is a fine institution, but I've already made my decision. 365 00:17:53,180 --> 00:17:55,160 I'm sorry to hear that. 366 00:17:55,180 --> 00:17:58,200 One of the things I've admired about Ashley is her open mind. 367 00:17:58,220 --> 00:18:00,269 Well, well, she gets that from her mother. 368 00:18:03,059 --> 00:18:05,140 Uncle Phil, the phone.. Ooh. 369 00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:07,289 Ooh, hey, listen, man. I can explain everything. 370 00:18:08,009 --> 00:18:10,190 Look, I-I was dizzy, and then I came.. I was.. 371 00:18:10,210 --> 00:18:12,140 Uh, you must be Will. 372 00:18:13,079 --> 00:18:15,269 I'm Ms. Sharpe. 373 00:18:15,289 --> 00:18:21,029 Oh, uh, nice to meet you for the first time ever in life. 374 00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:25,170 Hey, you know, Uncle Phil, uh, that's the first time 375 00:18:25,190 --> 00:18:28,069 I ever met her in life. 376 00:18:28,089 --> 00:18:31,119 Mr. Banks, we were profiled here in "Education Today." 377 00:18:31,140 --> 00:18:33,230 Maybe if you read it, you'll reconsider. 378 00:18:33,250 --> 00:18:35,279 - Oh. - Yeah. Nice to meet you. 379 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:38,220 I'm sorry you had to drive all the way out here for nothing. 380 00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:41,220 - Yeah. Bye. - Bye. 381 00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:44,099 Nice to meet you for the first time ever in life. 382 00:18:46,140 --> 00:18:48,269 Whoo. She really something, huh, Uncle Phil? 383 00:18:48,289 --> 00:18:50,000 Hard to say no to her. 384 00:18:50,019 --> 00:18:51,269 Not if you're a parent. Ahem. 385 00:18:51,289 --> 00:18:54,170 Hey, come on, Uncle Phil, why don't you be reasonable? 386 00:18:54,190 --> 00:18:55,240 Uh, when's the last time a teacher 387 00:18:55,259 --> 00:18:57,140 from Bel-Air Academy came to the house? 388 00:18:57,160 --> 00:19:01,170 Look, the girl went and changed schools behind my back. 389 00:19:01,190 --> 00:19:04,210 Now, in this house, that constitutes a capital crime. 390 00:19:04,230 --> 00:19:06,200 But she had a good reason, Uncle Phil. 391 00:19:06,220 --> 00:19:09,039 Look, my wife's nephew. 392 00:19:10,289 --> 00:19:13,039 I want Ashley in Bel-Air Academy 393 00:19:13,059 --> 00:19:15,279 where there's a controlled environment. I know who's there. 394 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,180 But, more importantly, I know who's not. 395 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:20,019 Listen, Uncle Phil, I'm telling you, man, listen 396 00:19:20,039 --> 00:19:22,150 I went to both public and private schools 397 00:19:22,170 --> 00:19:23,230 and I'm saying in public school 398 00:19:23,250 --> 00:19:25,279 it's more different kinds of people, you know? 399 00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:29,079 In Bel-Air Academy everybody cut from the same mold. 400 00:19:29,099 --> 00:19:31,150 Hey, if you ask me, you acting like a.. 401 00:19:35,170 --> 00:19:37,049 ...snob. 402 00:19:39,259 --> 00:19:41,140 I'mma just go. 403 00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:51,119 And a one and a.. Hell with that. 404 00:19:53,009 --> 00:19:54,029 (man on TV) 'The forecast for the..' 405 00:19:54,049 --> 00:19:55,190 Philip, honey, look at this. 406 00:19:55,210 --> 00:19:57,140 "Morris High School is ranked fourth 407 00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:59,089 in the country among magnet schools." 408 00:19:59,109 --> 00:20:02,039 "Magnet schools?" Maybe that's why they need metal detectors. 409 00:20:02,059 --> 00:20:04,150 Huh? Ha-ha-ha! 410 00:20:06,029 --> 00:20:08,140 This is important to our daughter. Don't make jokes. 411 00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:10,000 Vivian, we've made our decision. 412 00:20:10,019 --> 00:20:13,250 "We?" No, you've made a decision. 413 00:20:13,269 --> 00:20:16,289 I'm a college professor. You didn't even ask my opinion. 414 00:20:17,009 --> 00:20:20,099 Didn't I? I'm sure I did. 415 00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:23,079 Oh, I'm-I'm sorry, honey. What do you think? 416 00:20:23,099 --> 00:20:27,140 [sighs] I think we should at least consider it. 417 00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:29,089 You know, sometimes I think we work so hard 418 00:20:29,109 --> 00:20:32,039 to give our kids what we didn't have 419 00:20:32,059 --> 00:20:35,140 sometimes we forget to give them what we did have. 420 00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:38,180 [instrumental music] 421 00:20:42,069 --> 00:20:43,259 [sighs] Good morning, Will. 422 00:20:43,279 --> 00:20:45,289 (Will) 'Hey, good morning, Uncle Phil.' 423 00:20:46,009 --> 00:20:48,210 - Good morning, Ashley. - Good morning. 424 00:20:48,230 --> 00:20:51,079 - What are you eating? - Food. 425 00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:02,140 What are you doing? 426 00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:04,069 Cutting the tension. 427 00:21:05,190 --> 00:21:07,150 Good morning, everyone. 428 00:21:07,170 --> 00:21:09,049 Hey, Hil. 429 00:21:09,069 --> 00:21:10,220 So what's today's black topic? 430 00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:13,079 Amish rap stars? 431 00:21:13,099 --> 00:21:16,069 I'm through chasing one specific demographic. 432 00:21:16,089 --> 00:21:18,059 Thanks to my leopard-skin, midriff top 433 00:21:18,079 --> 00:21:20,170 I hit an all-time high with male viewers. 434 00:21:20,190 --> 00:21:23,019 I got more men yesterday than Sally Jesse Raphael 435 00:21:23,039 --> 00:21:24,269 gets in a year. 436 00:21:24,289 --> 00:21:26,220 How hard could that be? 437 00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:31,109 - Where are you going? - School. 438 00:21:31,130 --> 00:21:34,039 Since when do you wear a uniform to public school? 439 00:21:35,279 --> 00:21:37,279 - What are you talking about? - Well.. 440 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:39,200 Your mother and I had a long talk last night. 441 00:21:39,220 --> 00:21:41,049 And I called Ms. Sharpe 442 00:21:41,069 --> 00:21:42,170 and I made an appointment to check it out. 443 00:21:42,190 --> 00:21:46,210 Now, if-if I'm satisfied with what I see 444 00:21:46,230 --> 00:21:48,170 you can give it a shot for a semester. 445 00:21:48,190 --> 00:21:51,079 - Oh, daddy, thank you. - Come on. 446 00:21:51,099 --> 00:21:52,240 Now, we're gonna be late. Just go change your clothes. 447 00:21:52,259 --> 00:21:56,000 - Okay. - Oh, Uncle Phil, thank you! 448 00:21:59,109 --> 00:22:01,140 [instrumental music] 449 00:22:03,250 --> 00:22:06,079 [theme music] 450 00:22:06,099 --> 00:22:07,289 ♪ Ah-ah-ah ♪ 451 00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:12,180 ♪ Ah-ah-ah ♪ 452 00:22:15,210 --> 00:22:17,039 ♪ Ah-ah-ah ♪ 453 00:22:20,059 --> 00:22:21,220 ♪ Ah-ah-ah ♪ 454 00:22:24,259 --> 00:22:26,130 ♪ Ah-ah-ah ♪ 455 00:22:29,119 --> 00:22:31,019 ♪ Ah-ah-ah ♪ 456 00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:36,089 [instrumental music]