- This piece is exquisite. - Mm, it certainly is.
And you can sense the artist's pain
and yet, yet it's a celebration of life.
Yo! A swap meet.
This is Mr. Culture.
Ah, what you talking about, Uncle Phil?
I got the, uh, capacity for paintings, man.
You know, I can sense what the artist is sayin'.
- Mm? - Oh, like this one.
What a brother got to do to get some fries?
See, and here
I can sense the juxtaposition of metaphors
interspersed with the three-second violation.
You're a jackass.
[buzzing]
What, what is that noise?
Uh, Geoffrey's using my electric shoe buffer.
Do you mean that old thing
with all the frayed wires and all that?
Hey, now that's a one-of-a-kind original.
They don't make 'em like that anymore.
[cracking]
[rumbling]
I call this one "Workmen's Compensation."
[theme song]
♪ Now this is a story all about ♪
♪ How my life got flipped turned upside down ♪
♪ And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there ♪
♪ I'll tell you how I became the prince ♪
♪ Of a town called Bel-Air ♪
[instrumental music]
♪ In West Philadelphia born and raised ♪
♪ On the playground is where I spent most of my days ♪
♪ Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool ♪
♪ And all shootin' some b-ball outside of the school ♪
♪ When a couple of guys who were up to no good ♪
♪ Started makin' trouble in my neighborhood ♪
♪ I got in one little fight and my mom got scared and said ♪
♪ You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air ♪
♪ I whistled for a cab and when it came near ♪
♪ The license plate said Fresh and it had dice in the mirror ♪
♪ If anything I can say that this cab was rare ♪
♪ But I thought nah forget it yo homes to Bel-Air ♪
♪ I pulled up to a house about seven or eight ♪
♪ And I yelled to the cabbie yo homes smell you later ♪
♪ I looked at my kingdom I was finally there ♪
♪ To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel-Air ♪
[music continues]
Ah, autumn, my favorite time of the year.
The leaves are fallin' and the hotties are pledgin'.
Here I go, girl.
Baby, if I told you you had a beautiful body
would you hold it against me?
Get it? That's a doubleentendre.
Savez-vous?
[speaking in foreign language]
Oh, Grey Poupon to you too, girl.
Hey, listen, baby, what do you say we go, uh
have some dinner tonight?
You know, escargots and all that.
I don't think that'll be a good idea.
I'm pledging Kappa and we sisters have to stick together.
That's right.
Your lines won't work with us, mister.
Lines? What are y'all talking about? These aren't lines.
You know what? A woman cannot take it when a man is honest.
Look, when I take a woman out, I'm 100 percent gentleman.
Look, I'm opening car doors, I'm paying for dinners.
- Car doors, paying for dinners. - I'm paying for dinners.
(all) And I treat a woman like a king treats a queen.
Y'all remembered those, huh?
Ladies, say goodbye to Will in his native tongue.
[all barking]
[barks]
I don't believe you.
You're so desperate to get over
that you gonna go out on your own blood.
I'm not trying to get over on anybody, Will.
Your problem is that you can't understand or respect women
because you're not in touch with your feminine side.
And you know what your problem is, C?
You're not in touch withanybody'sfeminine side.
[instrumental music]
Daddy, today I bought something for someone I really love.
And I hope you enjoy it, sweetheart.
Daddy, it's for you.
Well, what do you think?
It's-it's a-a blue.
I bought it next door at the new country club.
It's a Marachi, handmade in Milan.
Don't you love it? Try it on.
Well...my, uh, first Marachi.
Okay.
Well, I just think that sweater looks gorgeous.
In fact, I'm gonna buy you a matching hat.
Uh, oh, sweetheart..
Tell me, sir, do I wash that or take a weed whacker to it?
(Carlton) So, what are you talkin' about?
(Will) What is..?
Carlton, quick, get a bat, let's bust this pinata.
Don't worry about it, dad, he got his earlier.
Today, this entire group of girls made a fool out of Will.
Not one of them would fall for his lines.
Master William, it's for you. A Lisa Wilkes.
Okay, one.
Carlton, man, can I help it
if I say the things that women wanna hear?
What's up, Chumpy?
It's confidence, son.
Women love a confident man.
Take me for instance.
Why, back in the day..
[laughs]
...I'd slip on the old dashiki.
Puff up the old fro.
Find a foxy mama
say, "Hey, baby, let's get it on."
And they bought that?
Actually, your mother was the only one.
[police siren wailing at distance]
Hey, Helen, they was out of Goobers
so I got us this large thing of popcorn.
[screaming]
Get out!
What you doin', Barney?
Yo, man, where Helen at?
She's probably at the chiropractor.
Helen!
Helen.
Oh, Will, don't let that spoil anything
because this has been the greatest night.
Well, if you like this one, wait till you see the sequel.
You are a dog.
[barks]
The only problem is I really wanna be a Kappa
and if they see me with you, they won't let me in.
Uh, don't even worry about that, baby, I'll wear a disguise.
I'll go Michael Jackson style.
You don't need to go that far.
I'm house-sitting a friend's cabin this weekend
and I wouldn't mind a little company.
Little company?
I'm more like the Fortune 500, you know?
AT&T.
Reach out and touch a brother if you got your bill paid.
Will, where-where are you going?
- Oh, to the cabin. - That's tomorrow.
Oh, cool.
Well, uh, l-let's get back to the movie.
[instrumental music]
I was so lucky I found this hat.
It was the last extra extra extra large.
Well, gee, the gods must be smiling on me.
And I'd guess there's some laughing
and pointing going on too.
Oh, honey, I think it's cute.
Really?
I'm going to the pro shop to buy you
a matching outfit right now.
Well, honey, I-I-I quit playing golf.
[clatters]
Look at this.
You could at least yell "Fore!"
I'll take care of it, Miss Ashley.
Thank you, Geoffrey.
You know, when they redesigned this golf course
I thought it might raise our property values.
But it's just making it dangerous for us to be out here.
Sir, perhaps you could get them to erect a..
...a fence.
Geoffrey.
♪ Always and forever ♪
♪ Each moment with you.. ♪♪
Will, you're so romantic
I don't know why you have such a horrible reputation.
Yeah, you know, I'm really just misunderstood.
You spend a little time with me, you'll see
I'm-I'm actually pretty cool.
[screaming]
[groans]
Now, where were we?
[chuckles nervously]
Why don't we just dance?
♪ With a smile ♪
♪ Take time ♪
Oh, I just love these romantic songs.
Baby, this song is not even good enough for you.
I could write you the best love songever.
Okay.
♪ Together.. ♪
Let's hear it.
Oh, well, you see, um..
I'm not really that good at thinkin' on my feet.
Not yet.
How about we play a little game first?
- Oh, cool. - Here, have a seat.
Oh, what kind of game?
We're gonna play Cops and Robbers.
♪ Oh now girl now ♪
♪ Make it more better now ♪
I'm gonna be the cop..
...and you're gonna be the nasty old robber.
Just call me public enemy number one, one, one.
So how do you like the game so far?
Hey, beat the hell out of playing Stratego with Carlton.
Ow!
That's kinda tight.
Oh, I mean, uh, I know my rights.
I think I'm entitled to one frisk.
Shut up!
Arrugh!
I thought you were good
but you're not good.
You've caused so much pain to so many women.
You're just a dirty dog.
And now it's payback time.
Baby, you're kinda killin' the mood.
Ow!
What are you, a psycho?
You don't know how tired I am of hearing that.
Arrugh!
[instrumental music]
[grunts]
[phone ringing]
- Hello? - 'Hey, hey, Nicky, it's Will.'
Oh, hi, Will.
Nicky, I need some help.
I need you to get a grown-up.
(Nicky on phone) 'Carlton!'
N-N-Nicky, I said a grown-up.
Carlton Banks here.
(Will on phone) 'Carlton, it's Will.'
I'm up at the cabin Lake Arrowhead with that girl Lisa.
Listen, she got me tied to a chair, man.
Oh, stop bragging, you sick pervert.
- Who's a pervert? - Oh, I'm just teasing Will.
See, some sorority girls are playin'
a trick on him up in some cabin.
What kind of trick?
They're going to terrorize and torture him.
Oh, don't worry, it's all in good fun.
Oh.
So Mr. Dirty Dog is trying to make a phone call, is he?
So you mean to tell me for five extra dollars I could get HBO?
[clatters]
Okay, basic cable is cool.
I hope you don't mind if I freshen up a little bit for you.
What you doin'?
I just wanna look pretty for you.
And-and you do. You do.
You-you know, I saw a great dress to go with that lipstick.
You did?
Yeah, and-and you know what, i-if you untie me
we could drive down to the store and get it before it closes.
Do I look like a fool to you?
No, not a fool.
(Will) 'Hey, wait, wait, where you going?'
To get the dress.
Oh, Lord.
Ooh.
Ooh! Hot. Ooh! Hot, hot.
[instrumental music]
[chuckling]
- What did you just do? - This.
Think we can get away with this?
I can't believe you two.
- Mustard is not the answer. - No, she's right.
Get the soy sauce.
(Kareem) Fore!
[glass shatters]
- Wow, it's Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. - Hi.
- How you doin'?
- Thank you. - Pleased to meet you.
- Hey, how are you? - That will be $140.
Jeez, I'm so sorry, you know
putting is the worst part of my game.
Hey, nice sweaters.
Oh, uh, Marachi.
Uh, our daughter bought them for us.
She's got great taste.
Hey, Mr. Kareem, they're waiting for you on the tee.
- Got to run, ciao. - Bye.
Ciao.
You know, honey
the color of this sweater does compliment your eyes.
Well, it is comfy.
Let's go get the stains out.
These are my role models.
[instrumental music]
Oh, no.
Oh, yes.
How you doing there, Little Miss Mood Swing?
Give me the keys to the car.
Oh, now I'm never gonna get in.
You need to be worried about gettin' out.
Them rubber rooms ain't got no windows.
Will, I am not crazy, okay?
This whole thing was a sorority prank.
They wanted me to teach you a lesson.
In what, bladder control?
No.Respect for women.
Ugh! I cannot believe you sorority girls
could be so devious.
It was actually your cousin Carlton's idea.
Oh, yeah?
You know what, I'mma pop that little zit when I get home.
You give me the car keys.
Thank you.
[crying]
- What you cryin' about? - You don't care.
You're damn right I don't care, you damn near fricasseed me.
Oh.
[crying]
But seriously, though, what you cryin' about?
Will, the only reason I did this is because I wanna be a Kappa.
So I-I guess that if I don't go through with this thing
then you can kiss your pledge pin goodbye.
Oh, well.
[laughs]
(Lisa) 'I deserve that.'
Will, I-I just want you to know that..
...this is the best date that I've had in a long time.
I, I mean, b-before I tied you up.
Like I'm supposed to believe that.
[scoffs]
For real?
(Will) You're right, I'm so sorry.
I'm a dog.
I'm the fresh prince of the pound.
The doggiest of all dogs.
Unbelievable. Will Smith apologizing.
My sisters, welcome the newest member
of Kappa Phi Gamma, Lisa Wilkes.
Alright, Lisa.
[all cheering]
Hey, wait, wait, wait, whoa-whoa, hold up.
What-what, y'all-y'all just gonna leave me
hangin' up here like a piece of Rotisserie Gold, huh?
[barks]
[instrumental music]
What's wrong, Will? Rough weekend?
Carlton...man, listen, my date with Lisa
didn't quite turn out the way I planned.
Pray tell, why not?
Carlton, we got up there, the girl went crazy, man.
She tied me to this chair, and she was tryin' to torture me.
No.
But I got loose, man.
Then she really went off.
So I grabbed this rock, man..
[sobbing]
...and I..
Oh, my God, she's still up there.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, God. Oh, Lisa!
Gotcha!
[laughs]
No! No!
Tell me you didn't. Oh, God!
No, no, no.
Will, no. Oh, my God, no!
Oh, no.
How could you do this to me?
Oh, no.
Oh, my..
Oh, God. Oh, God.
No.
Oh, God, how could he do that?
How could he do that?
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God.
[instrumental music]
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Yeah ♪♪