Daddy, can we take Nicky with us to graduation?
No, I don't think so, sweetheart.
But maybe Geoffrey can baby-sit for him.
Of course, sir.
And, no, I wouldn't mind missing the ceremony.
Why should I be invited to such an illustrious event
after a mere 15 years
of wiping, picking and sucking up after you all?
Geoffrey, we would love for you to come to graduation with us.
I'll have to check my book.
Geoffrey, you're coming.
But you know, your mother's not feeling well and
I don't feel right leaving Nicky with a stranger.
- I could take care of him. - 'Yeah.'
But who's going to take care of you?
Yeah, come on, Hilary.
Plus, you can't miss the ceremony
hard as I've worked to graduate.
Man, you know how hard it is to take a test like this?
Guess what? I'm the class valedictorian.
What does that mean?
I believe it's Latin for
"Little short midget with a square head."
[theme song]
♪ Now this is a story ♪
♪ All about how my life got flipped ♪
♪ Turned upside-down ♪
♪ And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there ♪
♪ I'll tell you how I became the prince ♪
♪ Of a town called Bel-Air ♪
♪ In West Philadelphia, born and raised ♪
♪ On the playground is where I spent most of my days ♪
♪ Chillin' out, maxin' relaxing all cool ♪
♪ And all shootin' some b-ball outside of the school ♪
♪ When a couple of guys who were up to no good ♪
♪ Started makin' trouble in my neighborhood ♪
♪ I got in one little fight and my mom got scared ♪
♪ And said you're moving with your auntie ♪
♪ And uncle in Bel-Air ♪
♪ I whistled for a cab and when it came near ♪
♪ The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror ♪
♪ If anything I can say that this cab was rare ♪
♪ But I thought nah forget it ♪
♪ Yo homes to Bel-Air ♪
♪ I pulled up to a house about seven or eight ♪
♪ And I yelled to the cabbie ♪
♪ Yo homes smell you later ♪
♪ I looked at my kingdom I was finally there ♪
♪ To sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air ♪
Now..
...what was Antonio Vivaldi
trying to tell us in this concerto?
Come on, baby, I'm saying
"Bing-bang- bluesy, me and you in the Jacuzzi."
What's up?
Mr. Smith. The concerto? What was Vivaldi saying?
Well, actually, Mrs. Bassin, I'm glad you asked me that.
Vivaldi, or "Vival Dee" as it is pronounced
in some European circles
I believe he was commenting on
man's inhumanity toward man.
That we..
citizens of America, the richest country on this planet
have a moral obligation that goes far beyond
buying the newest car
or purchasing the latest Naughty By Nature CD.
If one child
goes hungry
we must feed it.
If one child shivers
we must shelter it.
And I, for one
believe the brother knew what he was talking about.
Vivaldi died in 1741
before there was a United States.
But the dream is alive.
More on Vivaldi tomorrow.
Mr. Smith, may I have a word with you, please?
- Yes, I was just.. - Mr. Smith.
Mrs. Bassin, I'm sorry, I was acting silly today.
I'll make it up tomorrow.
Too little too late.
Will, I'm going to have to fail you.
Whoa, whoa.. The "F" word. Whoa, why? Why?
You missed half the semester.
What's your point?
Will, you have 10 classes to make up
and only five before graduation.
Listen, Mrs. Bassin, I'm telling you, I'll make up the work.
Come on, I have to graduate.
I'm sorry, but you have no one to blame but yourself.
Hold.. Listen, Mrs. Bassin
I don't think you understand.
My mom is flying out from Philly
to see me graduate.
I mean, the woman that gave me life.
And if I don't graduate, she'll take it back.
Listen, I'll make up the work.
You don't have time.
And besides, there's no way you could keep up
with my accelerated class. It's over.
Look, Mrs. Bassin, Mrs. Bassin, listen, listen.
Come on, come on. This is me.
I'm sinking. Please give me another chance. Please?
Come on.
Alright, be here tomorrow at 5:00.
- Yes-- - But no promises.
Hey, thanks a lot, Mrs. Bassin.
Wait a minute. Batman comes on at 5:00. Can we make it at 6:30?
- I'm joking. I'm stupid. - I know.
So, Janine, when did you first decide
you wanted to take care of children?
When I was so instructed by the Lord of the Eighth Circle.
So, Lindsay, when did you first decide
you wanted to take care of children?
I guess, shortly after my release.
Please! What do you know about taking care of babies?
Babies? I'm here to take care of Hilary.
Aah!
Hey, did my mom get here yet?
Geoffrey's picking her up from the airport.
Will, I've been meaning to ask you.
What do you want for graduation?
Would you all stop with the interrogation, please?
Obviously, some of us can handle
the pressures of graduation better than others.
Pressure? Look, man, I'm not feeling no pressure, okay?
Thank God you're not giving the speech.
It's an immense responsibility
one I face with great humility.
But do I shirk it? No.
Because somehow deep down I know
anyone else would really bite.
Gosh, Carlton, you're so confident.
I'd be too nervous to be valedictorian.
Nervous? Why?
Why? I mean to have all those people staring at you.
I mean, people stare at me all the time, but I'm pretty.
I guess that spandex shirt don't got nothing to do with it, huh?
Aren't you afraid you're going to mess up?
Not a problem.
Well, I'd be worried.
Yeah, every kid hoping you make a fool of yourself
every parent wondering what you're doing up at the podium
and why you're sweating so much? Eww..
Yo, C, come on, man, you ain't got to worry about none of that.
But I would worry about slipping off them stack of phone books
you going to be standing on.
Heck, you guys.
Heck!
You're very, very brave.
We're so proud of you.
Oh, God, I'm short, I'm sweaty
and I can't grow chest hair.
Oh, my goodness, is that a bald spot?
Oh, there he is, my graduate!
Hey, ma.
You're my pride and joy, sweetie.
This means everything to me.
I never thought I'd live to see this day
but here I am and there you are.
Now, smile and say, "Diploma."
Look, mom, mom, this is just a little graduation.
I think you're making a little too much of it.
Are you crazy? I've been waiting 18 years for this moment.
Come on, mom, you must have done something else in all that time.
Nothing more important than this.
Apparently, you've never danced the "Achy Breaky."
Will, completing high school was a great achievement.
You've made me so happy I could cry.
Yeah, me too.
- Boo! - Ow!
Will, where have you been?
I haven't seen you in music class.
Oh, you ain't heard?
Mrs. Bassin brought me up to her advanced class.
You know, Will, you are so talented.
Yeah, and I'm pretty good at music, too, you know?
Don't be silly.
Get on out of here before I do something.
Will, you made it.
Class, say hello to Will.
He'll be joining us until the end of the semester.
Great. Another high school dropout.
Okay, now, before we start our scales
can anyone tell me what "Pizzicato" means?
Mr. Smith.
Mr. Smith? You got all these..
Um.. Sure. Um..
Pizzicato, that's a..
...pizza with avocado.
Get it, I said, it's a pizza..
Michael.
Pizzicato: A term indicating that strings
should be plucked, not bowed.
Well, yeah, there ain't no Santa Claus.
Another slice for you, Master William?
No thanks, G, I'm not hungry.
That's funny. Will always has seconds at home.
G
I am this close to not graduating, man.
I think my music teacher has got it out for me.
She's trying to force me to make up 10 hours.
Come on, it ain't like I got a future in music or nothing.
Well, I sincerely hope you graduate.
Thanks a lot, G, that means a lot to me.
Because if you're left back and I have to wash your gym socks
for another year I shall take my own life.
Surprise!
Look, mom, what is this?
Your four-days-before-graduation gift.
Look, mom, this has got to stop.
There wouldn't happen to be no car keys in here, would it?
No.
Then this has got to stop, mom.
I know, I know, I'm getting a little carried away
but I'm just so proud of you.
Your graduation is very important to me.
But, mom, it wouldn't be if you got out more.
I know what's going on here.
- You do? - Mmm-hmm.
You're trying to downplay graduation because you don't
want me to feel bad that I never got a chance to graduate.
Oh, God, my life is over.
I wish I'd never been made valedictorian.
Oh, Carlton, come on, you're going to do fine.
Now, when you're up there, just picture someone
that you really admire watching you with love and approval.
Go on, try it.
Oh, it's no good.
The only thing I can picture is
someone laughing and pointing at me.
Carlton, now you stop that man, that is not
going to happen to you when you give that speech.
That's gonna happen to you on your wedding night.
Okay, kids, today we're going to choose up teams
and play musical jeopardy.
Now, who wants to be our two captains?
Right here, right here, right here, Mrs. Bassin.
Nancy and Michael.
Two players left. Make your choice.
Um..
Come on, man, you got to pick me.
Alright, stop your whining.
Now for the final question.
The answer is: A clef.
I know! I know! I know!
Um, what is that thing Michael Jackson
had built into his chin?
Nancy.
What is the character that indicates the pitch
of a particular line on a staff?
That's right. Congratulations.
- Yes! - Your team wins.
- What are you looking at? - Not much.
Hey look, man, we can take this out to the monkey bars.
Any time, any place.
I'm just kidding, you're the man.
Okay, students, don't forget to get here early tomorrow
so you can be measured for your costumes for the recital.
- Recital? - That's right.
Mrs. Bassin, my sister, listen
I appreciate everything you're trying to do for me, but look
I am not about the embarrass myself
in front of a group of strangers.
Mr. Smith, my brother
you're not going to embarrass yourself
in front of a group of strangers.
That's what I said.
You'll be performing for your friends at graduation.
Are you tripping? No way.
Then you won't be able to graduate, I'm afraid.
Then I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to sign your yearbook!
Look, look, alright? Now, I know the two of you are upset
about me not graduating, okay?
But you'll get over it. You'll have to.
Alright? 'Cause I made up my mind
and nothing either of you can say is going to change that.
Okay? 'Cause I'm a man.
Alright? With strong man emotions.
And there is no way that this man is going to
get up on that stage and embarrass himself at graduation.
No. No. No.
Good luck, sweetie. I'm so proud of you.
Mama's boy.
Okay, kids, I'm going to announce you.
So, take your marks.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Where are you guys going?
Come on, don't you guys want to go out there and see
Uncle Willie make a fool out of himself?
What's wrong?
Those are people out there.
Oh.. All this time y'all thought
we was going to be performing for some Smurfs?
Okay, come on, look, let's just pretend it's another rehearsal.
Forget it, we're not ready for the public.
How do you think I feel?
We've got our futures to think about.
Listen, I don't think you guys understand.
If we don't get out there, I'm not going to graduate.
You're breaking my heart.
And you're so cute.
And if you guys don't let me graduate
then I might have to mess y'all up.
Show on!
Today for your listening pleasure
let us welcome the Little Rays of Sunshine.
That's my Jessie, the one with the braids.
That's my Will, the one with the mustache.
♪ You are my sunshine my only sunshine ♪
♪ You make me happy when skies are gray ♪
♪ You'll never know dear how much I love you ♪
♪ Please don't take my sunshine away ♪
Hey, Mike, can we get a little James Brown?
[shrieks]
I didn't hear you. I said, "Can we get a little James Brown?"
[shrieks]
Here we go, y'all..
♪ Ooooh ooooh ♪ ♪ Ooooh ooooh ♪
Now, here we go.
♪ You are my ♪ ♪ Sunshine ♪
♪ My only ♪ ♪ Sunshine ♪
♪ You make me ♪ ♪ Happy ♪
♪ When skies are ♪ ♪ Gray ♪
♪ You'll never ♪ ♪ Know dear ♪
♪ How much I ♪ ♪ Love you ♪
♪ Please don't take ♪ Take ♪
♪ My sun ♪ ♪ Shine ♪
♪ Away ♪ ♪ Hey hey ♪
♪ Please don't take ♪
♪ My sunshine ♪
♪ Away-y-y-y-y-y-y-y ♪
[audience applauding]
Say, Maestro, can we get a little walking music?
Posse out!
Ah, ha ha ha ha..
Thanks, Will, you got us through a tough one.
Oh, okay. I guess that means you're noticing
how truly fly I am.
Speaking of flies, yours is open.
Ooh, a tutu fly.
Well, Will..
- Congratulations. - Thank you.
You can walk with your classmates. I'm passing you.
- Thanks a lot, Mrs. Bassin. - You're welcome.
And trust me, I learned a valuable lesson from this.
What's that?
- I ain't never having no kids. - Oh..
Good luck. Come on, kids. Let's go.
Hey, Will, I caught your act.
Oh, oh, baby, listen, check it out, I can--
You know, you really surprised me.
That was the most sensitive, the most beautiful thing
I've ever seen.
And nothing turns me on more than sensitivity in a man.
Oh, girl, you don't know the half of it.
Let me tell you I be boo-hooing during "Lassie."
Before I came here today, I was afraid
as I'm sure many of you are.
It seems these days, there's a lot to be afraid of.
The world can be a pretty scary place.
'But how can one person make a difference?'
Well, I'll tell you what I'm going to do.
I'm going to take the education I received here
and use it to give back to those less fortunate.
Your cousin's really deep and he doesn't even seem nervous.
Oh, oh, yeah, see, check it out. I gave him a little advice.
I told him just to picture somebody that he really admires.
And, you know, he probably picturing me.
Oh..
And in closing..
I'd like to thank my teachers and my classmates
for four great years.
And my family for their love and support.
And, my best friend
'someone who stuck beside me'
'and kept me out of trouble'
and maybe got me into a little bit of it, too.
Congratulations.
Lisa Armstrong.
Adam Baker.
Carlton Banks.
John Simpson.
Will Smith.
Yeah!
Now, when you're up there, just picture someone
that you really admire watching you with love and approval.
Go on, try it.
[blows raspberry]
(Will) 'I'm sorry, I couldn't resist. I'm sorry.'