1 00:00:04,099 --> 00:00:07,120 - Hey, what up, C? - Hey, Will. 2 00:00:07,139 --> 00:00:12,109 Yeah. Bacon, avocado, and mayonnaise. 3 00:00:12,130 --> 00:00:14,099 Alex, the question is, "What are three things 4 00:00:14,119 --> 00:00:16,109 "found in Uncle Phil's beard?" 5 00:00:17,250 --> 00:00:21,280 Yuck! Now, I lost my appetite. Thanks a lot, Will. 6 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:23,199 Uh, no, thank you, man. 7 00:00:25,260 --> 00:00:27,050 Ah, Master William 8 00:00:27,070 --> 00:00:29,129 here are the maps you requested for your road trip. 9 00:00:29,149 --> 00:00:31,089 - Oh, thanks a lot, G. - Mm. 10 00:00:31,109 --> 00:00:33,070 Ah, University of Nevada. 11 00:00:33,090 --> 00:00:34,170 Where at graduation 12 00:00:34,189 --> 00:00:36,079 they don't wear their tassels on their caps 13 00:00:36,100 --> 00:00:38,149 if you know what I'm saying. 14 00:00:38,170 --> 00:00:40,140 You sure are lucky, Will. 15 00:00:40,159 --> 00:00:42,119 Spending the weekend at a college campus 16 00:00:42,140 --> 00:00:44,060 with 4,000 hot coeds 17 00:00:44,079 --> 00:00:47,100 and you get to bunk with dad and Sara Lee. 18 00:00:54,009 --> 00:00:55,130 Crocket anyone? 19 00:01:01,170 --> 00:01:04,170 Um, Jazz, you alright, man? 20 00:01:04,189 --> 00:01:07,170 You got a kind of a Clark Kent-Urkel thing 21 00:01:07,189 --> 00:01:09,069 jumping all over you. 22 00:01:10,210 --> 00:01:12,150 Actually, Will, he looks like me. 23 00:01:12,170 --> 00:01:15,090 Well, yeah, that's what I was saying. 24 00:01:15,109 --> 00:01:19,079 I'm all ready for my trip to college. About time, too. 25 00:01:19,099 --> 00:01:22,060 I spent eight years in high school. 26 00:01:22,079 --> 00:01:26,159 [chuckles] Jazz, um, Uncle Phil is going to be my chaperon 27 00:01:26,180 --> 00:01:29,239 and I don't think he wants you to come, buddy. 28 00:01:29,260 --> 00:01:33,060 Well, I guess I better return these stupid, funky clothes. 29 00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:37,109 Here, Carlton. 30 00:01:38,099 --> 00:01:39,289 [theme song] 31 00:01:40,009 --> 00:01:42,170 ♪ Now this is a story all about how ♪ 32 00:01:42,189 --> 00:01:44,280 ♪ My life got flipped turned upside down ♪ 33 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:47,079 ♪ And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there ♪ 34 00:01:47,099 --> 00:01:48,180 ♪ I'll tell you how I became the prince ♪ 35 00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:50,049 ♪ Of a town called Bel-Air ♪ 36 00:01:50,069 --> 00:01:52,240 [music continues] 37 00:01:58,240 --> 00:02:01,180 ♪ In West Philadelphia born and raised ♪ 38 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:04,109 ♪ On the playground was where I spent most of my days ♪ 39 00:02:04,129 --> 00:02:06,150 ♪ Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool ♪ 40 00:02:06,170 --> 00:02:08,240 ♪ And all shootin' some B-ball outside of the school ♪ 41 00:02:08,259 --> 00:02:11,139 ♪ When a couple of guys who were up to no good ♪ 42 00:02:11,159 --> 00:02:13,129 ♪ Started making trouble in my neighborhood ♪ 43 00:02:13,150 --> 00:02:15,240 ♪ I got in one little fight and my mom got scared ♪ 44 00:02:15,259 --> 00:02:17,069 ♪ She said you're movin' with your auntie ♪ 45 00:02:17,090 --> 00:02:18,180 ♪ And uncle in Bel-Air ♪ 46 00:02:18,199 --> 00:02:20,170 ♪ I whistled for a cab and when it came near ♪ 47 00:02:20,189 --> 00:02:23,069 ♪ The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror ♪ 48 00:02:23,090 --> 00:02:25,180 ♪ If anything I could say that this cab was rare ♪ 49 00:02:25,199 --> 00:02:26,229 ♪ But I thought nah forget it ♪ 50 00:02:26,250 --> 00:02:29,069 ♪ Yo homes to Bel-Air ♪ 51 00:02:29,090 --> 00:02:32,180 ♪ I pulled up to a house about seven or eight ♪ 52 00:02:32,199 --> 00:02:33,270 ♪ And I yelled to the cabbie ♪ 53 00:02:33,289 --> 00:02:35,129 ♪ Yo homes smell ya later ♪ 54 00:02:35,150 --> 00:02:37,139 ♪ I looked at my kingdom I was finally there ♪ 55 00:02:37,159 --> 00:02:40,139 ♪ To sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air ♪ 56 00:02:51,159 --> 00:02:53,150 - Hello, Master William. - Hey, what's up, G? 57 00:02:53,170 --> 00:02:54,229 Hey, check it out. 58 00:02:54,250 --> 00:02:57,000 I just finished making my schedule for the weekend. 59 00:02:57,020 --> 00:02:58,229 Figure if I work fast, I can see everything 60 00:02:58,250 --> 00:03:00,219 that this college has to offer. 61 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:03,169 This is a list of sororities. 62 00:03:03,189 --> 00:03:07,060 Yes, sir, from alpha to gamma to bad Mama-Jamma. 63 00:03:10,050 --> 00:03:11,039 Silly me. 64 00:03:11,060 --> 00:03:12,150 When I went to university 65 00:03:12,169 --> 00:03:15,139 I actually spent most of my time studying. 66 00:03:15,159 --> 00:03:17,189 Well, yeah, but look at you now, G. 67 00:03:20,020 --> 00:03:21,250 Touche. 68 00:03:21,270 --> 00:03:26,039 Did you, by any chance, see "Murder, She Wrote" last week? 69 00:03:26,060 --> 00:03:28,050 - No. - Good. 70 00:03:28,069 --> 00:03:29,210 Watch your back. 71 00:03:31,159 --> 00:03:33,110 I just love having a little brother. 72 00:03:33,129 --> 00:03:36,150 Me, too. Isn't it cute the way he burps 73 00:03:36,170 --> 00:03:39,079 and drools and dribbles? 74 00:03:39,099 --> 00:03:41,009 Look, you guys, Carlton's 18 now. 75 00:03:41,030 --> 00:03:42,189 I don't think we should continue to encourage 76 00:03:42,210 --> 00:03:44,079 that type of behavior. 77 00:03:44,099 --> 00:03:46,050 We're talking about the new baby. 78 00:03:46,069 --> 00:03:49,150 I never thought I'd actually enjoy taking care of one. 79 00:03:49,170 --> 00:03:51,250 [baby crying on intercom] 80 00:03:51,270 --> 00:03:54,009 It's for you, Geoffrey. 81 00:03:54,030 --> 00:03:56,250 We better get to the club. 82 00:03:56,270 --> 00:04:00,210 Alright, but I draw the line at breastfeeding. 83 00:04:02,090 --> 00:04:04,009 Achoo! 84 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:07,110 Hey-hey, Uncle Phil, you ready to burn some rubber 85 00:04:07,129 --> 00:04:08,250 make some tracks? 86 00:04:08,270 --> 00:04:10,289 [coughing] 87 00:04:11,009 --> 00:04:13,110 - Cough up a lung? - No. 88 00:04:13,129 --> 00:04:16,000 It's okay. I-I-I'm fine. I never felt better. 89 00:04:16,019 --> 00:04:19,149 - Call an ambulance. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 90 00:04:19,170 --> 00:04:21,000 Uncle Phil, man, you can't do this to me. 91 00:04:21,019 --> 00:04:23,110 I've been planning this trip for months. 92 00:04:23,129 --> 00:04:25,079 Hey-hey, I tell you what. Come on, you can make it. 93 00:04:25,100 --> 00:04:26,240 There's a Dodger dog in it for you. 94 00:04:26,259 --> 00:04:28,100 [coughing] 95 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:32,040 I'm sorry, Will, I don't think I can make it. 96 00:04:32,060 --> 00:04:34,279 No, no, no. Yes, you can. Come on, Uncle Phil. 97 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:37,060 Come on. 98 00:04:37,079 --> 00:04:40,259 Look, Will, you're just going to have to call the university 99 00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:43,120 and cancel, that's all. 100 00:04:43,139 --> 00:04:46,019 Uncle Phil, why can't you trust me to go by myself? 101 00:04:47,250 --> 00:04:50,240 Because I'm smarter than the average bear. 102 00:04:52,180 --> 00:04:54,100 Alright. Look, Uncle Phil, if you can't trust me 103 00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:55,170 I mean, there's got to be somebody 104 00:04:55,189 --> 00:04:57,009 you trust me to go with. 105 00:04:57,029 --> 00:04:58,180 Hey-ho, campers. 106 00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:03,019 ♪ I'm not gonna be able to do it ♪ 107 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:05,069 ♪ I tried to take you serious before and you blew it ♪ 108 00:05:05,089 --> 00:05:07,170 ♪ You figured you was slick dissin' me for the next man ♪ 109 00:05:07,189 --> 00:05:09,279 ♪ But when you heard he had a wife it ruined your plans ♪ 110 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:12,079 ♪ Now you want to come back and act like it's all that ♪ 111 00:05:12,100 --> 00:05:14,170 ♪ But I ain't tryin' to hear it 'cause you sound real wack ♪ 112 00:05:14,189 --> 00:05:16,129 ♪ You got it over the first time but that was the last time ♪ 113 00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:18,060 ♪ I'll never make the same mistake.. ♪ 114 00:05:18,079 --> 00:05:21,089 ♪ Beep beep beep beep biggita biggita plssssh ♪ 115 00:05:21,110 --> 00:05:22,199 Cut it out, Will. 116 00:05:22,220 --> 00:05:24,230 No hijinks while driving, young man. 117 00:05:24,250 --> 00:05:27,050 And fasten that seatbelt. It's the law. 118 00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:30,240 Yes, sir, Deputy Dawg. 119 00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:35,170 [sighs] 120 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:39,240 Oh, Carlton, did you see that billboard? 121 00:05:39,259 --> 00:05:41,159 Come on, man, I'm starving. 122 00:05:46,189 --> 00:05:48,290 Yes, hello, this is Tony Montana. 123 00:05:50,189 --> 00:05:52,230 I just saw your billboard on the highway. 124 00:05:52,250 --> 00:05:54,069 If you know what's good for you 125 00:05:54,090 --> 00:05:57,170 you'll make me a pepperoni pizza with anchovies on it. 126 00:05:57,189 --> 00:06:00,029 Will, what do you think you're doing? 127 00:06:00,050 --> 00:06:02,170 What's it sound like I'm doing? 128 00:06:02,189 --> 00:06:06,089 [chuckles] Ah, yeah, no, we're going north on I-80. 129 00:06:06,110 --> 00:06:08,019 Just look for the little, square-head guy 130 00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:10,009 who can just barely see over the steering wheel. 131 00:06:11,069 --> 00:06:12,240 Grow up, Will. 132 00:06:16,060 --> 00:06:17,259 Oh, Carlton, Carlton. 133 00:06:17,279 --> 00:06:21,100 Hey, hey, hey. What's up girls? Oh, no. Slow down. 134 00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:25,139 We could use a little roadside assistance, you know? 135 00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:28,000 Will, do you want me to turn this car around? 136 00:06:28,019 --> 00:06:30,100 I want you to speed up and catch up with them girls, man. 137 00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:33,009 That's it, mister, you're on a time-out! 138 00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:41,199 Carlton, man, look. You really need to loosen up, man. 139 00:06:41,220 --> 00:06:44,000 Look, we're young and we're single. 140 00:06:44,019 --> 00:06:46,220 Uh, one of us is really handsome, the other one is you. 141 00:06:48,170 --> 00:06:52,060 But, come on, man, we're kids. It's our job to act like idiots. 142 00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:55,110 That's your job, Will. I'm here representing dad. 143 00:06:55,129 --> 00:06:57,129 My job is to ruin your fun. 144 00:06:59,129 --> 00:07:01,129 And you really love your work, don't you? 145 00:07:13,029 --> 00:07:15,230 What's wrong now? 146 00:07:15,250 --> 00:07:17,199 Look, man, I got to go bathroom. 147 00:07:19,279 --> 00:07:22,060 I'm sorry, but the next bathroom break 148 00:07:22,079 --> 00:07:25,060 isn't scheduled for another 33 minutes. 149 00:07:25,079 --> 00:07:27,230 Well, that may be so, but whether you stop or not 150 00:07:27,250 --> 00:07:29,100 I'm going in one minute. 151 00:07:43,149 --> 00:07:46,259 Oh, I don't get a good feeling about this place, Will. 152 00:07:46,279 --> 00:07:49,120 It's cool. I'll take care of it. 153 00:07:49,139 --> 00:07:51,139 Uh, we ain't black! 154 00:07:54,230 --> 00:07:56,250 We just got back from Hawaii! 155 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,220 Look, you have exactly 45 seconds 156 00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:02,029 to get back from the bathroom. 157 00:08:02,050 --> 00:08:04,069 If you're not back, I'm leaving without you. 158 00:08:04,089 --> 00:08:06,069 Carlton, it may take you 45 seconds 159 00:08:06,089 --> 00:08:09,279 but it takes a fully grown man a little while longer. 160 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:13,050 Yeah, well, you just wasted about 15 seconds, buddy. 161 00:08:16,050 --> 00:08:18,279 - You smell chicken? - Forget about it, Will. 162 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:21,129 Rule number 13, no poultry in the car. 163 00:08:21,149 --> 00:08:22,259 (Jazz) 'Are we there yet?' 164 00:08:22,279 --> 00:08:25,230 [knocking] 165 00:08:25,250 --> 00:08:28,139 Will, I think the engine's knocking. 166 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:30,129 That's not where the engine is, stupid. 167 00:08:30,149 --> 00:08:32,110 [knocking] 168 00:08:34,250 --> 00:08:36,120 (Jazz) Chicken, my brother? 169 00:08:39,190 --> 00:08:41,230 Jazz, how did you get in the trunk? 170 00:08:41,250 --> 00:08:43,019 It was easy. 171 00:08:43,039 --> 00:08:46,029 Oh, by the way, you need a new lock for your garage. 172 00:08:47,149 --> 00:08:49,250 Wow! College! 173 00:08:52,210 --> 00:08:54,250 Just like I imagined it. 174 00:08:54,269 --> 00:08:56,149 Can I help you fellows? 175 00:08:56,169 --> 00:08:59,139 Yeah, I guess you might as well fill her up. 176 00:08:59,159 --> 00:09:01,049 And wash the windows. 177 00:09:01,070 --> 00:09:05,000 Oh, and look under the hood for.. 178 00:09:05,019 --> 00:09:06,169 ...you know, hood things. 179 00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:11,250 I don't know how people play these things. They're so boring. 180 00:09:11,269 --> 00:09:14,000 [arcade machine ringing] 181 00:09:14,019 --> 00:09:15,190 Hey-hey, touch that handle, granny 182 00:09:15,210 --> 00:09:17,159 and you'll be pulling back a nub. 183 00:09:22,009 --> 00:09:24,149 Oh, hey, Homer. What's up with the Benz, man? 184 00:09:24,169 --> 00:09:28,009 Well, considering my limited experience with foreign cars 185 00:09:28,029 --> 00:09:31,059 this being the first one anyone's actually let me touch 186 00:09:31,080 --> 00:09:34,100 - I-I think it went pretty well. - Let me guess. 187 00:09:34,120 --> 00:09:38,000 You have a nuclear reactor in your backyard, don't you? 188 00:09:38,019 --> 00:09:40,090 Oh, what do we owe you? 189 00:09:40,110 --> 00:09:43,269 Uh, it's $300. There's $25 for the gas 190 00:09:43,289 --> 00:09:46,009 and $275 to call Germany 191 00:09:46,029 --> 00:09:48,279 to find out whether it took regular or unleaded. 192 00:09:50,179 --> 00:09:52,059 Yo, man, are you crazy? 193 00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:55,179 Well, I-I prefer the term "emotionally challenged." 194 00:09:56,190 --> 00:09:58,210 And you still owe me $300. 195 00:09:58,230 --> 00:10:00,190 Oh, this guy's scaring me. 196 00:10:00,210 --> 00:10:02,179 Let's just pay him and get out of here. 197 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:04,149 Uh, do you prefer a check or credit card? 198 00:10:04,169 --> 00:10:07,080 - Cash. - Well, I've only got $40 cash. 199 00:10:07,100 --> 00:10:08,259 You've got to take a credit card. 200 00:10:08,279 --> 00:10:10,029 I mean, everyone takes credit cards. 201 00:10:10,049 --> 00:10:11,269 What kind of hick are you? 202 00:10:11,289 --> 00:10:14,159 The kind that don't take credit cards. 203 00:10:14,179 --> 00:10:17,250 I'm afraid I'm just going to have to keep the car. 204 00:10:19,090 --> 00:10:21,210 Whoa-ho. Whoa, whoa. Homer, Homer, Homer. 205 00:10:21,230 --> 00:10:23,169 Chill, check it out, man, look. 206 00:10:23,190 --> 00:10:25,179 I got $30. Jazz, how much you got? 207 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:29,129 Well, between this soda can and what I got in my wallet 208 00:10:29,149 --> 00:10:31,000 I'm good for a nickel. 209 00:10:32,149 --> 00:10:34,230 Look, Homer, check it out. We'll get you your money, man. 210 00:10:34,250 --> 00:10:36,039 We just need a few minutes, alright? 211 00:10:36,059 --> 00:10:37,159 Alright, it's no problem. 212 00:10:37,179 --> 00:10:38,279 If you need me, I'll be at McDonald's 213 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:41,059 watching the numbers change. 214 00:10:44,149 --> 00:10:46,230 Ah, great, what are we going to do now? 215 00:10:50,289 --> 00:10:53,019 Al right, alright. Look, let's just think, man. 216 00:10:53,039 --> 00:10:55,129 I'm, I'm sure we can come up with something 217 00:10:55,149 --> 00:10:57,120 if we just put our heads together. 218 00:10:57,139 --> 00:10:59,179 You got me. 219 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:02,230 [squeals] Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! 220 00:11:02,250 --> 00:11:04,159 Come to Lola. 221 00:11:05,090 --> 00:11:06,159 Coming. 222 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,049 Alright, check it out. Check it out. 223 00:11:09,070 --> 00:11:10,279 We going to get paid right here. Carlton, give me your money. 224 00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:12,179 Forget it, Will. 225 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:14,289 I will not let you succumb to the base pleasures of gambling. 226 00:11:15,009 --> 00:11:16,129 Besides, we're underage. 227 00:11:16,149 --> 00:11:18,200 Uh, can I get $40 in quarters? 228 00:11:20,149 --> 00:11:23,179 What do you say, Jazz? You turn my $30 into $300? 229 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:25,190 Does James Brown use a hot comb? 230 00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:38,149 Jazz, that was our last chip, man. 231 00:11:38,169 --> 00:11:39,179 Don't worry, man. 232 00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:41,210 We got her right where we want her. 233 00:11:45,179 --> 00:11:46,279 Full house! 234 00:11:47,269 --> 00:11:49,110 Yes! 235 00:11:50,149 --> 00:11:51,289 Jazz, you lost all our money, man. 236 00:11:52,009 --> 00:11:54,000 I thought you said you knew how to play poker. 237 00:11:54,019 --> 00:11:57,059 Poker? You mean this isn't Go Fish? 238 00:12:02,009 --> 00:12:05,059 Tough luck, boys. Next victim? 239 00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:08,179 Whoa. Hey, Lola, Lola, baby. Check it out. Looky here. 240 00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:10,250 I thought we had an understanding, you know? 241 00:12:10,269 --> 00:12:13,039 I mean, where I come from, when a man is nice to you 242 00:12:13,059 --> 00:12:14,179 you don't take all his money. 243 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:17,110 I mean, at least not while he's still awake. 244 00:12:17,129 --> 00:12:20,009 You're breaking my heart. Take a hike. 245 00:12:20,029 --> 00:12:21,200 Lola, Lola, baby, come on. 246 00:12:21,220 --> 00:12:23,269 I mean, you got to give me a chance to win my money back. 247 00:12:23,289 --> 00:12:25,080 I mean, 'cause if you don't 248 00:12:25,100 --> 00:12:27,100 then I'm not going to be able to get my car. 249 00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:28,269 Come on, baby, have a heart. 250 00:12:28,289 --> 00:12:32,029 I'm just a poor black man trying to get to a panty raid. 251 00:12:33,129 --> 00:12:35,009 Alright, look, I'll give you a job. 252 00:12:35,029 --> 00:12:36,190 You can work off your debts. 253 00:12:36,210 --> 00:12:38,120 Like Woodrow here. 254 00:12:38,139 --> 00:12:43,059 Yeah, my Studebaker broke down way back in '78. 255 00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:46,259 I've been working here all this time to pay it off. 256 00:12:46,279 --> 00:12:51,240 Fifteen more years... and you can just eat my dust. 257 00:12:54,139 --> 00:12:58,070 [laughs] Check it out. Look, um, Lola. 258 00:12:58,090 --> 00:13:01,220 I don't want to die here an old white man, okay? 259 00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:03,210 - Will. - What? 260 00:13:03,230 --> 00:13:05,120 - What? - Come here. 261 00:13:05,139 --> 00:13:08,080 Excuse me. What? 262 00:13:08,100 --> 00:13:11,149 I think I got the answer to our problem right here in my sock. 263 00:13:11,169 --> 00:13:13,039 Oh, Jazz, ain't nobody going to pay no money 264 00:13:13,059 --> 00:13:15,210 to see your sixth toe. 265 00:13:15,230 --> 00:13:17,100 Allow me, my brother. 266 00:13:19,039 --> 00:13:21,059 Yo, you've been holding out on me. 267 00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:24,179 I'm sorry. Emergency bean-pot fund. 268 00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:28,029 Miss Lola, can I interest you in a game of chance? 269 00:13:28,049 --> 00:13:29,200 I'm listening. 270 00:13:32,190 --> 00:13:37,289 Okay. I'm thinking of a number between one and ten. 271 00:13:38,009 --> 00:13:39,230 - What is it? - Four. 272 00:13:39,250 --> 00:13:41,080 Damn! 273 00:13:43,090 --> 00:13:44,289 You boys are pathetic. 274 00:13:48,059 --> 00:13:50,279 Alright, I'm going to give you another shot, slim. 275 00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:53,139 Double or nothing, high card wins. 276 00:13:53,159 --> 00:13:55,039 Alright, you're on. 277 00:13:59,210 --> 00:14:03,059 Black queen. Something I can relate to. 278 00:14:11,070 --> 00:14:13,110 [sighs] Scaboom! 279 00:14:16,159 --> 00:14:20,149 A black king, and I don't mean Shaka Zulu. 280 00:14:20,169 --> 00:14:22,110 [laughs] 281 00:14:24,190 --> 00:14:26,009 Thank you. 282 00:14:28,129 --> 00:14:31,149 Quarters. I-I have to have quarters, Will. 283 00:14:31,169 --> 00:14:33,279 - Carlton, wait. Carlton.. - See, I know I can beat it. 284 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:36,190 First, it was bell, bell, cherry. 285 00:14:36,210 --> 00:14:38,289 - Right. Carlton. - And then cherry, lemon, lemon. 286 00:14:39,009 --> 00:14:42,000 But now, it's just cherry, cherry, bell. 287 00:14:42,019 --> 00:14:43,259 Cherry, cherry, bell. 288 00:14:43,279 --> 00:14:47,039 Cherry, cherry, bell! Every time a cherry, cherry, bell! 289 00:14:47,059 --> 00:14:48,179 Carlton! 290 00:14:50,009 --> 00:14:52,000 Get a grip on yourself, man. 291 00:14:52,019 --> 00:14:53,090 Look, I got the money for the car. 292 00:14:53,110 --> 00:14:54,159 We can leave. Come on. 293 00:14:54,179 --> 00:14:56,029 No, I can't. 294 00:14:56,049 --> 00:14:59,139 It's this damn...thing. 295 00:14:59,159 --> 00:15:01,179 It just sits there taunting me. 296 00:15:03,090 --> 00:15:05,220 "What's wrong, Carlton? 297 00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:07,179 "Lost your nerve, sissy boy?" 298 00:15:08,279 --> 00:15:10,259 Look, you got to help me, Will. Make it stop. 299 00:15:10,279 --> 00:15:13,110 - Carlton - Okay, everybody, stand back. 300 00:15:13,129 --> 00:15:15,129 If I apply the Vulcan death grip 301 00:15:15,149 --> 00:15:17,000 and press real hard right here 302 00:15:17,019 --> 00:15:19,009 I believe I can make him black out. 303 00:15:19,029 --> 00:15:21,289 Jazz. Look, look, Carlton. 304 00:15:22,009 --> 00:15:24,090 Listen, if you get in the car right now 305 00:15:24,110 --> 00:15:27,120 I promise we can sing the theme to "West Side Story," okay? 306 00:15:27,139 --> 00:15:29,159 You can be Maria. 307 00:15:29,179 --> 00:15:31,169 I just want to play a few more times. 308 00:15:31,190 --> 00:15:33,000 Boy, did you hear what I said? 309 00:15:33,019 --> 00:15:35,059 Get your butt in that car right now. 310 00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:37,230 Don't you roll your eyes at me. 311 00:15:37,250 --> 00:15:40,250 I can't leave now, Will. See, I figured the odds. 312 00:15:40,269 --> 00:15:44,159 If I just play 9,063 more times, I know I can beat it. 313 00:15:44,179 --> 00:15:46,240 Wait, Carlton, Carlton, listen. 314 00:15:48,090 --> 00:15:51,169 This is what gambling does to you, alright? 315 00:15:51,190 --> 00:15:54,070 It's a disease and it's evil. 316 00:15:55,149 --> 00:15:57,100 Stop it. 317 00:15:57,120 --> 00:15:58,179 Right now. 318 00:16:01,139 --> 00:16:04,070 Buzz off, flattop. 319 00:16:04,090 --> 00:16:06,120 Hey, hey, hey, Carlton, I ain't playing with you, man. 320 00:16:06,139 --> 00:16:07,269 Get your butt in that car right now! 321 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,049 Why don't you just get off my damn back? 322 00:16:16,059 --> 00:16:18,279 Okay, see, now it's on. 323 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:21,259 Alright, see, my mother don't talk to me like that. 324 00:16:21,279 --> 00:16:24,139 Come on, Jazz, let's go! 325 00:16:24,159 --> 00:16:27,169 I mean, Jazz, we was right for leaving Carlton, right? 326 00:16:27,190 --> 00:16:29,019 Absolutely. 327 00:16:29,039 --> 00:16:30,129 I mean, I've been looking forward to this weekend 328 00:16:30,149 --> 00:16:31,279 for a long time. 329 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:33,120 And there ain't no way that I should miss out on it 330 00:16:33,139 --> 00:16:36,090 just cause he got the hots for the slots. 331 00:16:36,110 --> 00:16:38,059 You on a roll with a side of slaw. 332 00:16:39,149 --> 00:16:41,259 I mean, what? He expect us to babysit him 333 00:16:41,279 --> 00:16:43,190 while he have a nervous breakdown? 334 00:16:43,210 --> 00:16:45,100 [sighs] He's so selfish, man. 335 00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:47,190 That boy put the "E" in ignorant. 336 00:16:52,210 --> 00:16:54,269 I'm just saying, look, it ain't no way 337 00:16:54,289 --> 00:16:57,139 I'm letting Carlton ruin this weekend. 338 00:16:57,159 --> 00:16:59,029 Are we slowing down? 339 00:16:59,049 --> 00:17:01,220 I mean, nothing, but nothing, should stand between a man 340 00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:04,039 and his Phi Beta booty. 341 00:17:04,059 --> 00:17:06,240 Will, you're only doing 20 over the speed limit. 342 00:17:06,259 --> 00:17:08,130 What's wrong? 343 00:17:08,150 --> 00:17:10,190 Look, didn't I say nothing's wrong, man? 344 00:17:12,279 --> 00:17:15,009 Except the fact that I got a tank full of gas 345 00:17:15,029 --> 00:17:16,109 a campus full of honeys 346 00:17:16,130 --> 00:17:18,039 and all I keep thinking about is that little midget 347 00:17:18,059 --> 00:17:20,009 we left back there. 348 00:17:20,029 --> 00:17:25,150 Will, honestly, I don't think Ashley wanted to come along. 349 00:17:25,170 --> 00:17:28,200 I'm not talking about Ashley. I'm talking about Carlton, man. 350 00:17:28,220 --> 00:17:31,279 We left him back there without a friend in the world. 351 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,250 Then he should feel right at home. 352 00:17:36,039 --> 00:17:38,220 Yeah, you know what, I think you're right, man. 353 00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:41,109 He don't need us and we don't need him. 354 00:17:43,069 --> 00:17:45,190 ♪ Nah baby I'm not gonna be able to do it ♪ 355 00:17:45,210 --> 00:17:47,210 ♪ I tried to take you serious before and you blew it ♪ 356 00:17:47,230 --> 00:17:50,109 ♪ You figured you was slick dissin' me for the next man ♪ 357 00:17:50,130 --> 00:17:54,049 ♪ But when you heard he had a wife it ruined your plans.. ♪ 358 00:17:54,069 --> 00:17:55,269 Could luck be a lady tonight? 359 00:17:58,130 --> 00:17:59,230 Tramp. 360 00:18:02,079 --> 00:18:05,220 Michael Jackson impression? Only a quarter. 361 00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:08,269 Here's 50 cents. Now, get out of my face. 362 00:18:08,289 --> 00:18:10,099 Cool! 363 00:18:14,089 --> 00:18:17,039 Evening, Bo. What can I get you? 364 00:18:17,059 --> 00:18:18,099 Shirley Temple. 365 00:18:18,119 --> 00:18:21,049 Hey, no giggling when you bring it to me. 366 00:18:21,069 --> 00:18:23,009 [giggling] 367 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:30,039 I'll draw your portrait for a quarter. 368 00:18:32,089 --> 00:18:33,170 Yeah! 369 00:18:33,190 --> 00:18:35,190 No! 370 00:18:35,210 --> 00:18:38,029 That's my money. I've been feeding this machine all night. 371 00:18:38,049 --> 00:18:39,200 Those quarters are mine. 372 00:18:39,220 --> 00:18:41,000 Hey, man, what do you think you're doing? 373 00:18:41,019 --> 00:18:42,200 Get out of my way. This is my money. 374 00:18:42,220 --> 00:18:45,079 - I don't like your attitude. - Can it, steroid breath. 375 00:18:45,099 --> 00:18:46,240 What did you say? 376 00:18:49,180 --> 00:18:51,089 See? He's doing great. 377 00:18:52,230 --> 00:18:56,170 Come on, Bo, now knock it off. You might break something. 378 00:18:56,190 --> 00:18:58,039 Yeah, like my cousin. Yo, yo, chill. 379 00:18:58,059 --> 00:18:59,180 What's up? What's up, man? 380 00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:02,059 Bigfoot here stole my quarters. 381 00:19:02,079 --> 00:19:06,259 Carlton, I'm just guessing here, but name calling? Bad idea. Shh. 382 00:19:06,279 --> 00:19:09,130 Hey, man, you tore my shirt. My mother bought me this shirt. 383 00:19:09,150 --> 00:19:11,119 And you know, I'm sure she's a really fine woman. 384 00:19:11,140 --> 00:19:12,289 But you got plenty of quarters. 385 00:19:13,009 --> 00:19:14,259 Why don't you go call your mom, have her send you a new shirt? 386 00:19:14,279 --> 00:19:17,230 I don't want a new shirt. I want to clean the bar with his face. 387 00:19:17,250 --> 00:19:20,130 I'm saying, my brother, pick on somebody your own size. 388 00:19:20,150 --> 00:19:22,170 So what are you saying? 389 00:19:22,190 --> 00:19:25,130 Well, I mean, I wasn't suggesting me specifically. 390 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,089 Oh, Bo, now this isn't a fair fight. 391 00:19:30,119 --> 00:19:32,049 Any bets? 392 00:19:32,069 --> 00:19:33,240 I'll take $5 on the big guy. 393 00:19:34,289 --> 00:19:36,119 I'm saying, ain't nobody going to chump me. 394 00:19:36,140 --> 00:19:38,029 I ain't no punk. 395 00:19:38,049 --> 00:19:41,029 You know, Will, you don't have to.. 396 00:19:41,049 --> 00:19:42,279 Look, the time comes 397 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:44,190 when a man has to take responsibility 398 00:19:44,210 --> 00:19:46,099 and fight his own battles. 399 00:19:50,009 --> 00:19:52,019 And I'll let you know when the time comes. 400 00:19:53,109 --> 00:19:55,099 Give me $10 on Bo. 401 00:19:55,119 --> 00:19:58,150 Prince, I know how you can take this dude. 402 00:19:58,170 --> 00:20:00,279 How good are you at faking seizures? 403 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,079 Thanks for the vote of confidence, Jazz. 404 00:20:04,170 --> 00:20:06,000 Look, check it out. 405 00:20:06,019 --> 00:20:08,029 Just take the keys, start the engine. 406 00:20:08,049 --> 00:20:10,059 I'm going to bite him and jump in the car. 407 00:20:11,220 --> 00:20:13,279 Let's get busy. I ain't got all night. 408 00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:16,000 "Nightline" is on in two minutes. 409 00:20:16,019 --> 00:20:18,259 W-wait a minute. Can I stretch first, please? 410 00:20:20,069 --> 00:20:22,109 Pull a muscle or something out here. 411 00:20:33,059 --> 00:20:36,099 Anybody got any kryptonite in the house? 412 00:20:36,119 --> 00:20:37,210 Yeah, man, that's real funny. 413 00:20:37,230 --> 00:20:40,059 Really? So you're not going to hit me? 414 00:20:40,079 --> 00:20:42,200 You're not that funny. 415 00:20:42,220 --> 00:20:44,289 Well, no, but I can be, though. 416 00:20:45,009 --> 00:20:47,180 [snapping fingers] 417 00:20:52,140 --> 00:20:54,039 - That's funny, though, right? - No. 418 00:20:54,059 --> 00:20:57,109 Whoa, whoa, wait a minute, man. You wait one damn minute! 419 00:20:59,130 --> 00:21:03,049 We brothers, man. This is crazy. 420 00:21:03,069 --> 00:21:04,190 I mean, we shouldn't be out here 421 00:21:04,210 --> 00:21:07,170 about to fight over a couple quarters. 422 00:21:07,190 --> 00:21:11,160 I mean, in this cruel, hard world 423 00:21:11,180 --> 00:21:13,119 we got to stick together, man. 424 00:21:14,220 --> 00:21:16,200 Or we done, man. 425 00:21:18,119 --> 00:21:20,130 And if you want to be the brother 426 00:21:20,150 --> 00:21:22,009 that casts the first stone 427 00:21:22,029 --> 00:21:24,240 for the degradation of the entire race.. 428 00:21:27,170 --> 00:21:29,089 ...then you go right ahead. 429 00:21:37,099 --> 00:21:39,160 Did you get the feeling back in your head yet? 430 00:21:42,099 --> 00:21:44,230 You say something, Uncle Phil? 431 00:21:44,250 --> 00:21:49,089 Will, I just want to thank you for standing up for me. 432 00:21:49,109 --> 00:21:53,259 Oh, man, look, it was nothing. What is family for? 433 00:21:53,279 --> 00:21:56,019 Plus, we shouldn't have left you there in the first place, man. 434 00:21:56,039 --> 00:21:58,210 Anything could have happened. I'm sorry about that. 435 00:21:58,230 --> 00:22:01,170 Are you crazy? I had the time of my life. 436 00:22:01,190 --> 00:22:02,289 What? 437 00:22:03,009 --> 00:22:05,269 Will, for a little while, I was living on the edge. 438 00:22:05,289 --> 00:22:08,019 I, Carlton Banks, recording secretary 439 00:22:08,039 --> 00:22:09,220 of the audio visual squad 440 00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:12,220 was gambling, swearing, and staying up really, really late. 441 00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:16,089 I mean, I-I feel so...liberated. 442 00:22:16,109 --> 00:22:17,279 Quick, open the back window. 443 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:21,019 - Yo, for what, man? - I'm going to moon Nevada. 444 00:22:22,259 --> 00:22:24,240 Bottoms up. 445 00:22:24,259 --> 00:22:27,000 Oh, Carlton, come on, put that thing away. 446 00:22:27,019 --> 00:22:29,180 Someone's going to get hurt. 447 00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:32,250 Don't worry, Will. This is my lucky day. 448 00:22:32,269 --> 00:22:35,150 [police siren wailing] 449 00:22:37,059 --> 00:22:40,000 I knew your butt was going to get us in trouble, man. 450 00:22:47,109 --> 00:22:50,089 University of Nevada, here I come. 451 00:22:50,109 --> 00:22:52,190 Oh, where at graduation.. 452 00:22:52,210 --> 00:22:55,069 I got all this...in my mouth. I'm sorry. 453 00:23:01,119 --> 00:23:02,279 Where at graduation..