[pounding on door]
(Philip) 'Get up! Hurry, everybody, get up!'
(Will) 'Yo! What's the matter, Uncle Phil?'
'Aah!'
(Philip) 'Calm down, Will! Calm down.'
'It's Aunt Vivian. She's having a baby!'
(Will) 'That ain't what's scaring me.'
'You ain't got no drawers on!'
Oh. Oh. Oh. Okay.
[panting] Oh! Oh! Oh!
[exhales] Oh. Oh.
[groans] Oh. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Aah!
Ooh!
- Mother, are you alright? - Mmh!
Of course you're not alright. You're having a baby.
Oh, I think I'm gonna be sick.
Hilary, sweetie, come here.
Having a baby is very spiritual.
This is my last baby, and I'm never going to
experience this miracle again.
Oh, here comes another contraction.
[both groaning]
Ow!
[exhales] Well, that wasn't so bad.
Hilary, honey, don't be so dramatic.
My hand. Ah.
Alright. Everything's cool, Let's go. Let's go, Aunt Viv!
Everything cool, everything, everything cool.
Alright, check it out. Um, um, alright..
Carl, you boil some water.
Uh, Ashley, you go get some blankets.
Uh...Hilary, you, uh, c-circle the wagons.
Will, honey, what are you talking about?
I wish to God I knew, Aunt Viv.
Mom, I think what Will is referring to is--
- Aah! - Aah!
- Oh! Oh! - Aah!
Oh, my God. Oh, the pains are getting closer.
Carlton, honey, get up off the floor.
My hand!
What is wrong with everybody? Philip!
Put on your damn pants and let's go!
Hey. Aunt Viv, I wanna go, too.
Oh, thank you, sweetheart.
You know I could really use
somebody to hold my hand.
[theme song]
♪ Now this is a story all about how ♪
♪ My life got flipped turned upside-down ♪
♪ And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there ♪
♪ I'll tell you how I became the prince ♪
♪ Of a town called Bel-Air ♪
♪ In West Philadelphia born and raised ♪
♪ On the playground is where I spent most of my days ♪
♪ Chillin' out maxin' relaxing all cool ♪
♪ And all shootin' some b-ball outside of the school ♪
♪ When a couple of guys who were up to no good ♪
♪ Started makin' trouble in my neighborhood ♪
♪ I got in one little fight and my mom got scared and said ♪
♪ You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air ♪
♪ I whistled for a cab and when it came near ♪
♪ The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror ♪
♪ If anything I can say that this cab was rare ♪
♪ But I thought nah forget it yo homes to Bel-Air ♪
♪ I pulled up to a house about seven or eight ♪
♪ And I yelled to the cabby yo homes smell you later ♪
♪ I looked at my kingdom I was finally there ♪
♪ To sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air ♪♪
[instrumental music]
Wonder if mom had the baby yet.
I know.
Birth is a miraculous thing. Isn't it?
To think I was once inside of a woman's body.
I find that hard to believe.
I think we all do, Carlton. Ahem.
- Hi, mom. Mom! - Mom, you're still pregnant.
You think?
- Look, I can't do this anymore. - Look, me neither.
I mean, getting woke up in the middle of the night
by a naked man running around the house.
I'm sorry. I-I thought you were all asleep.
- Not you, G. - Oh.
[chuckles] Never mind.
Look, now, everybody calm down.
False alarms happen all the time.
But Uncle Phil was naked, Aunt Viv.
- Oh. - Shut up, Will.
Vivian, I wanna have this baby already.
Oh! And you think I don't?
I feel like I ate a Buick.
That look like a Winnebago from here.
Viv, is there anything more I can do for you?
Will you look at her, Uncle Phil?
Haven't you done enough? Leave her alone!
I'm fine, Philip. Thank you.
Oh, good.
I gotta lay down.
Could I get you some tea, madam?
Oh, that would be lovely, Geoffrey.
Bring it to the laundry room.
I'll be sitting on the dryer.
Poor mom.
Poor mom? Poor me!
I saw Uncle Phil naked!
And he was running!
[bell ringing]
What can I get you, madam?
Geoffrey, I've got a proposition for you.
[chuckles] Perhaps if we were both younger
and I didn't work for you..
Not that kind of proposition, Geoffrey.
I will give you 50 bucks to drive me over
a set of railroad tracks.
Well, doctor, the, uh, pains are coming closer together.
Well-well, they start in the abdomen and they kinda
radiate up and down in all directions.
Philip, what are you talking about?
I'm not having any pains.
Well, I am.
Well, yes. Thursday afternoon Will be fine.
Yeah. Thank you.
[rings bell]
Yes, your majesty?
Geoffrey, from an objective point of view
who is having this baby, him or me?
It's rather difficult to tell just by looking.
She's in here. Look, whatever you do, don't mention her chins.
Or her ankles, or her feet.
Oh, and whatever you do
never ever feed her after midnight.
Oh, poor diva!
[indistinct chatter]
- I'm sick of this! - Oh, look at you!
- Oh, my God. - Oh.
Come on, y'all. Come on. Come on.
- Will, why are you crying? - I don't know, man.
- Wait a minute. Where's Helen? - Oh, well, she couldn't come.
She had to go to court with Lester.
Oh, I thought the divorce was final months ago.
That's right, and everything was going so well
until she saw Lester with another woman.
And that's when she snatched off the wig.
[gasps] She snatched off the woman's wig?
No. Lester's.
[laughing]
What a novel idea, that little bell.
Geoffrey, would you get us all something to eat, please?
Oh, golly, yes!
Gee! It's great to be working in the big house!
You've all met our butler...Chicken George?
Don't you worry, Vivian.
I'm going to take good care of you.
Oh. Me, too.
Oh! I'm so happy you guys are here.
I was beginning to feel like nobody understood me.
Oh, hey. We're family.
- We love you. - We love you. Yes.
[bell ringing]
Stop with the damn bell!
That's it. I'm never going back up there again.
I'm sorry I ever went up there in the first place.
I took her some honey for her tea.
She tells me she does not want honey from California.
She wants honey from New Mexico.
Oh! Puh-lease.
Diva needs to get her butt out of Bel-Air a little more often!
If it get any bigger, it'll be in and out of Bel-Air
at the same time.
[bell rings]
- Oh. - Oh, my goodness.
Alright, come on, come on, y'all.
This ain't easy on Aunt Viv.
I mean, the baby is a week late.
[bell rings]
Oh, that bell's mine! Who's with me?
I'm with you.
Alright, Hilary, you act like you're gonna hug her
and then pin her arms down.
- Oh, I-I know the choke hold. - Okay.
Hey, hold it, hold it, hold it now!
Now, that's enough!
Now, you know, this is harder on her than it is on us.
We're her family. We have to be here for her.
You guys? Why isn't anybody answering my bell?
Could somebody please come upstairs and keep me company?
You hate me, don't you?
Okay, I know this has been hard to take
and this baby doesn't look like he's coming anytime too soon.
So, why don't we just take a breather from one another?
You know, just for a little while if you..
Hello?
[instrumental music]
[bell jingling]
Geoffrey, have you seen my bell?
What bell?
I don't blame you, Geoffrey. I've been pretty unbearable.
Do you think my family's ever gonna come back?
I doubt it.
Why don't you sit down and let me make you some tea?
Oh, Geoffrey, you know, you always know what to do.
- Thank you. - Now you relax.
If anything happens, Mr. Banks has Master William's beeper.
And I'm sure your sisters will be back
from the salon any minute.
[instrumental music]
[indistinct chatter]
Oh, Hillary, this is great. I really needed this.
I know. And some electrolysis wouldn't hurt you either.
This could get ugly. We're family.
Aren't you guys finished yet?
Carlton, Aunt Vy is getting a makeover.
It could take hours.
Am I wearing a "Kick me" sign?
I don't see why women spend so much time in these places.
Wow! Forget college. I'm going to beauty school.
Look, if I'm not back in 20 minutes
be really happy for me.
[upbeat music]
- Way to go, speedy. - Shut up.
You know, Will, I could've driven myself here
for my examination.
I don't think so, Uncle Phil.
I think, you're taking this sympathy pains thing
just a wee bit too far.
Don't be ridiculous, Will.
Oh, my God! I think my water broke.
[pager beeping]
Oh, my God! It's Vivian! She-she's having the baby.
We gotta get to the hospital!
Uncle Phil, Uncle Phil, we in the hospital.
Oh, good..
...because I'm having a heart attack.
Uncle Phil, I think, you better let me take care of this.
- Uh, false alarm, Uncle Phil. - It's for me. It's Carla.
"4-0-2-4-3-6," that's no phone number.
No, no, no, Uncle Phil. Ahem.
That's 40-24-36.
Boom, bang, ka-boom!
Oh.
- Hey, hey. Ruff ruff ruff! - Shut up! Shut up!
Get in the elevator.
Excuse me, sir. Would you mind putting out that cigarette?
- Hey, it's a free country. - That's right. It certainly is.
But it's against the law to smoke cigarettes in elevators.
[stomping]
[applauds]
That's right, boy. This is a new jack city.
You the man. You the man.
Oh!
[electronic buzzing]
(Will) You the big man that broke the elevator.
[instrumental music]
Geoffrey, I think we better beep Mr. Banks.
Oh, dear. Okay.
Keep calm. I think we'd better beep Mr. Banks.
- Geoffrey, I just said that. - Good. That's good.
Now we're on the same train of thought.
How do you work this bloody thing?
Well, thank God you're here.
Oh! Oh, God!
- Oh! - Ow! My ha..
[both groaning]
(Will) Uncle Phil, is that you?
(male #1) No, but you have really soft hands.
(Will) Mommy! Ma!
Just relax, Will.
[sighs] I'm sure, they'll have us out of here in no time.
[pager beeps]
Oh, Uncle Phil, that's Aunt Viv.
Oh, my God. Somebody get us out of here!
I'm having a baby!
[upbeat music]
Something must be wrong.
I've beeped him twice, and he still hasn't answered.
My hand!
[exhales] I'd better try the beauty salon.
[instrumental music]
So while she's been stepping out on him
he's been having an affair with her sister!
But she works here, so keep it quiet!
- Oh! Okay. - What?
[telephone ringing]
Black Beauty. How can I help you?
Yeah, right. It's always an emergency.
I'll ask. Vy smith, phone call.
Sorry. Nobody's answering.
Don't you just love these quiet girl talks?
- What? - What?
I know!
Great. Geoffrey..
It looks like you're gonna have to drive me to the hospital.
Will I steer with my left foot?
I hate men.
Hi, mommy.
Oh, my God! Here comes another one.
- Ashley, give me your hand! - No way.
- Ashley! - You keep away from me!
Geoffrey! Oh! Oh! Aah!
[groaning]
[sobbing]
Oh, this baby's coming! I got to get to the hospital!
Don't worry, mom. I'll get you there.
- Ashley, you can't drive. - Grow up.
I've been taking the car since I was 12.
Oh. Okay. Okay.
[upbeat music]
Hey! Hey! How much longer before somebody gets us out of here?
My wife's having a baby!
(male #2) 'She ain't in there with you, is she?'
- No! - 'Good.'
- ''Cause I'm going on a break!' - What?
[indistinct chatter]
(male #2) 'Just kidding. A little elevator humor there.'
(male #3) 'Oh, man!'
I'll get you out of there as soon as I can.
Hi, honey. I'm gonna be late for lunch.
Great. You have a phone.
That's right... and you don't.
Will, we gotta get that phone.
Look, Uncle Phil, just ask him nice.
No, no, after what I did to him, he's never gonna let me use it.
Oh.
Well, you know I'm coming straight out the 'hood, right?
Alright, where I come from, when we want something
we step aboard and take it. Observe.
♪ Please can I use your phone? ♪♪
Hey, look man, if you don't let me use your phone
I'mma start singing Paula Abdul's greatest hits.
I guess you wanna use this phone real bad, huh?
Yes, sir, I do.
About as bad as I wanted that cigarette?
- Stop! Ghetto time! - No, no! Will!
Will, Will, calm down. No! Shh! Calm down now.
Now, I trained as a lawyer for many years.
I was trained in the art of negotiation.
Hey. Okay?
Observe.
Sir...give me that damn phone
or I'mma rip your liver out and eat it raw.
That's right, boy, and he about due for a snack.
Yes, sir.
Yes, Mr. Banks.
Mrs. Banks should be arriving at the hospital any minute.
- 'What? Who drove her?' - Who drove?
Uh, you are trapped in an elevator, right?
(Philip on phone) 'Yes, yes, I'm trapped in an elevator. Now, who drove her?'
- Uh, Miss Ashley drove. - 'What?'
(Philip on phone) 'How could you let that happen? Are you insane?'
No, sir. I-I don't know how I could have let that happen.
(Philip on phone) 'Call Mrs. Banks' sisters and tell them to meet her.'
Yes, sir. I'll call the salon right away.
[Philip shouting indistinctly]
(Philip on phone) 'This was completely irresponsible of you!'
Y-yes, sir. I-I'm a very, very bad butler.
In fact, I'm going to punish myself.
No phone privileges for a week.
(Philip on phone) 'There's going to be more of that happening--'
[instrumental music]
Don't worry, Geoffrey, we're on our way.
Vivian's having the baby. We've gotta get outta here.
Finally. I'll go get Carlton. Come on, Hillary.
I can't go into a hospital looking like this.
The place is full of doctors.
Hillary, please don't tell me you're that superficial.
Well, it may be superficial to you, but I'm young.
I can still get a husband.
Not without any teeth, you won't.
Now try me. Get on out of here.
That girl wanted me, Aunt Janice.
Carlton, when a woman says, "Drop dead, troll"
it usually means she's not interested.
Now, come on, let's go.
I'll call you!
[upbeat music]
I'm sorry, young lady, but you are going to have to fill out
these insurance form like everyone else.
I'm a kid. I don't know jack about insurance.
I'm sorry. But those are the rules.
Oh, my God. Here comes the big one.
Nurse, could you hold my hand, please?
[groans]
[groaning]
Get this woman to a pressing room.
- What happened to Hillary? - Oh, Lord.
Hillary Violet Banks, get your butt here.
My hand!
I'm pretty sure mom's been here.
Look, this is an emergency.
Do you have any mascara?
Where is the woman that did this to you?
- Down the hall. - Come on. Down here.
[instrumental music]
Oh, Vivian, we got here as soon as we could.
You doing okay, baby?
She's fine. I took care of things.
Hey, look I appreciate that you're close family
but you all can't be in here, okay?
- Oh, I'll go. - Uh, me, too.
And, um..
This is what I usually look like.
Phil-iiippp!
-'Phil-iiippp!' - Vivian!
- 'Philip!' -Vivian!
Wilma!
- Dad, over here! - What? Where?
[panting] Where is she?
- That way. -Vivian!
[crashes]
Say hello to your new son.
- Ooh! - Look at him.
- Be careful. - Ooh!
[giggling]
Oh, we should get a picture of this.
- Doc, would you the honors? - Sure.
Look, look, he look like a little black yoda.
- Oh, stop. - Ohh!
He's adorable.
Hello, little Nicholas Andrew Banks.
Ooh!
Honey, I thought we agreed to call him Philip.
Ew, that's a stupid name.
Why don't we name him after daddy...Eli?
- Great. - Over my dead body.
- Not Eli? - No. Let's name him Rufus.
[indistinct chatter]
Smile!
- 'Colin Powell!' - 'Bobby Brown'
(Will) 'And Whitney Houston!'
[crashing]
(Will) Wilma!
[instrumental music]