1
00:00:02,060 --> 00:00:04,089
Yo. When is G gettin' back?
I'm starving.

2
00:00:04,110 --> 00:00:06,269
Don't worry, Will,
I made breakfast.

3
00:00:06,290 --> 00:00:09,119
Oh, damn, I'm full.
Couldn't eat another bite.

4
00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:12,230
Come on, Will,
I know what I'm doing.

5
00:00:12,250 --> 00:00:14,240
Remember, I was
a professional caterer.

6
00:00:14,259 --> 00:00:18,120
And you still would be, if you
hadn't poisoned those nuns.

7
00:00:19,219 --> 00:00:22,149
Hey, the autopsy
was inconclusive.

8
00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:26,109
Bon appetite!

9
00:00:30,250 --> 00:00:32,200
Come on,
let's give her a chance.

10
00:00:38,070 --> 00:00:40,270
Mm, these eggs aren't bad.

11
00:00:42,049 --> 00:00:43,070
[crunching]

12
00:00:47,109 --> 00:00:48,159
What's the crunchy stuff?

13
00:00:48,179 --> 00:00:50,229
Oh, great,
you found my contact.

14
00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:52,000
Uhh!

15
00:00:52,020 --> 00:00:53,210
[theme song]

16
00:00:53,229 --> 00:00:56,100
♪ Now this is a story
all about how ♪

17
00:00:56,119 --> 00:00:58,149
♪ My life got flipped
turned upside down ♪

18
00:00:58,170 --> 00:01:01,049
♪ And I'd like to take a minute
just sit right there ♪

19
00:01:01,070 --> 00:01:02,109
♪I'll tell you
how I became the Prince ♪

20
00:01:02,130 --> 00:01:04,049
♪ Of a town called Bel Air ♪

21
00:01:05,010 --> 00:01:08,060
[instrumental music]

22
00:01:12,230 --> 00:01:15,099
♪ In west Philadelphia
born and raised ♪

23
00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:17,269
♪ On the playground is where
I spent most of my days ♪

24
00:01:17,289 --> 00:01:20,000
♪ Chillin' out maxin'
relaxin' all cool ♪

25
00:01:20,019 --> 00:01:22,150
♪ And all shootin' some b-ball
outside of the school ♪

26
00:01:22,170 --> 00:01:25,060
♪ When a couple of guys
who were up to no good ♪

27
00:01:25,079 --> 00:01:27,039
♪ Started makin' trouble
in my neighborhood ♪

28
00:01:27,060 --> 00:01:29,239
♪ I got in one little fight
and my mom got scared and said ♪

29
00:01:29,260 --> 00:01:32,039
♪ You're movin' with your auntie
and uncle in Bel Air ♪

30
00:01:32,060 --> 00:01:34,060
♪ I whistled for a cab
and when it came near ♪

31
00:01:34,079 --> 00:01:36,289
♪ The license plate said fresh
and it had dice in the mirror ♪

32
00:01:37,009 --> 00:01:39,020
♪ If anything I can say
that this cab was rare ♪

33
00:01:39,039 --> 00:01:43,000
♪ But I thought nah forget it
yo homes to Bel Air ♪

34
00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:46,069
♪ I pulled up to a house
about seven or eight ♪

35
00:01:46,090 --> 00:01:48,240
♪ And I yelled to the cabbie
yo homes smell you later ♪

36
00:01:48,259 --> 00:01:51,030
♪ I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there ♪

37
00:01:51,049 --> 00:01:53,270
♪ To sit on my throne
as the Prince of Bel Air ♪♪

38
00:02:00,049 --> 00:02:02,189
[instrumental music]

39
00:02:05,079 --> 00:02:06,170
Then who's the guy in the toga?

40
00:02:06,189 --> 00:02:08,069
Ah. Oh, that's Bill Rheingold.

41
00:02:08,090 --> 00:02:09,219
He's the president
of Ametrex Oil.

42
00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:12,009
And the guy with his head
in the toilet?

43
00:02:12,030 --> 00:02:14,050
[laughs]

44
00:02:17,090 --> 00:02:19,170
That's Ben Winter,
he's a great heart surgeon.

45
00:02:19,189 --> 00:02:21,090
And the guy getting
slapped by the girl?

46
00:02:21,110 --> 00:02:24,110
Oh, that's Clarence Thomas.

47
00:02:28,199 --> 00:02:29,210
Hey, what's going on, guys?

48
00:02:29,229 --> 00:02:30,280
Oh, you're lookin' at your old

49
00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:32,219
Princeton fraternity
pictures, huh?

50
00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:33,270
Will, please.

51
00:02:33,289 --> 00:02:35,129
Princeton doesn't
have fraternities.

52
00:02:35,150 --> 00:02:36,240
They have dining clubs.

53
00:02:36,259 --> 00:02:38,129
Where the leaders of
tomorrow
break bread

54
00:02:38,150 --> 00:02:39,139
and plan the future.

55
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,280
Ah, that's right, son.

56
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:43,199
My dining club's what made me
the man I am today.

57
00:02:49,069 --> 00:02:51,000
Nah, th-that's too easy.

58
00:02:51,259 --> 00:02:53,270
And since you're my son

59
00:02:53,289 --> 00:02:56,229
you're guaranteed my seat
in the club I joined.

60
00:02:56,250 --> 00:02:58,289
Uh. If you don't know
which seat is his.

61
00:02:59,009 --> 00:03:02,009
It will be the one with the legs
bent out up from under it.

62
00:03:04,289 --> 00:03:08,030
Oh, come on, I gave you
a free one earlier.

63
00:03:08,050 --> 00:03:10,000
Carlton.

64
00:03:10,020 --> 00:03:11,199
What I'm about to do
is strictly forbidden

65
00:03:11,219 --> 00:03:13,080
but since you're
going to Princeton

66
00:03:13,099 --> 00:03:16,020
I'm going to teach you
my club's secret handshake.

67
00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:18,250
Turn around, Will.

68
00:03:18,270 --> 00:03:20,099
You got to be facin'
somebody's butt

69
00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:22,000
to do this handshake?

70
00:03:24,020 --> 00:03:26,009
It's a secret.

71
00:03:26,030 --> 00:03:28,110
I don't see what the big deal
is about Princeton anyway.

72
00:03:28,129 --> 00:03:30,189
Simple, they're interviewing
at Bel Air prep this week.

73
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:32,250
They're lookin'
for a few good men.

74
00:03:32,270 --> 00:03:34,079
Oh, darn, Carlton.

75
00:03:34,099 --> 00:03:36,000
If they was lookin'
for a few good pygmies

76
00:03:36,020 --> 00:03:38,210
you'd have been a shoo-in.

77
00:03:38,229 --> 00:03:41,240
Face it, ghetto goof,
there's no one at Bel Air
prep

78
00:03:41,259 --> 00:03:43,199
that comes close
to having my grades

79
00:03:43,219 --> 00:03:45,199
or my willingness
to flatter authority figures

80
00:03:45,219 --> 00:03:48,150
without a thought
to personal dignity.

81
00:03:48,170 --> 00:03:50,159
They'll be lucky
to have you, son.

82
00:03:50,180 --> 00:03:52,199
And you're the guy
who taught me.

83
00:03:52,219 --> 00:03:55,170
By the way, you look
really great in denim.

84
00:03:56,229 --> 00:03:58,210
See?

85
00:03:58,229 --> 00:04:00,259
So, Will, have you
scheduled your interview?

86
00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:03,110
Oh, man, I tell you, you ain't
got to worry about me

87
00:04:03,129 --> 00:04:05,210
applying to no old bougie

88
00:04:05,229 --> 00:04:08,150
or Muffy and Biffo
chickenhead

89
00:04:08,169 --> 00:04:11,080
old kind of old. Oh..

90
00:04:13,039 --> 00:04:14,099
I just didn't have a chance
to get around

91
00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:16,009
to it yet, Uncle Phil.

92
00:04:16,029 --> 00:04:18,100
Do it tomorrow.

93
00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:19,290
Wait, come on, Uncle Phil

94
00:04:20,009 --> 00:04:21,269
I've already decided
where I wanna go.

95
00:04:21,290 --> 00:04:24,100
Will, the standards of
the Jim-Bob School of
Trucking

96
00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:26,110
are pretty darn high.

97
00:04:28,149 --> 00:04:31,180
[instrumental music]

98
00:04:33,290 --> 00:04:35,180
Look, man, what are you
doing here, anyway?

99
00:04:35,199 --> 00:04:37,149
Your appointment
isn't till tomorrow.

100
00:04:37,170 --> 00:04:38,209
Simple, I'm here to pick up

101
00:04:38,230 --> 00:04:40,220
the shattered pieces
of your self-esteem.

102
00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:42,209
To nourish you
in your hour of defeat.

103
00:04:42,230 --> 00:04:44,209
And do you know why, Will?

104
00:04:44,230 --> 00:04:46,129
Because when I come out
of here a broken man

105
00:04:46,149 --> 00:04:48,220
you wanna be the first
person to rub my nose in it?

106
00:04:50,019 --> 00:04:51,269
No. I'm really
here for you, Will.

107
00:04:51,290 --> 00:04:53,220
Then why you bring
a video camera?

108
00:04:57,100 --> 00:05:00,269
- Mr. Will Smith?
- Yo.

109
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,069
"Yo?"

110
00:05:03,199 --> 00:05:07,089
So...Mr. Smith

111
00:05:07,110 --> 00:05:09,230
you want to go to Princeton.

112
00:05:09,250 --> 00:05:11,189
Well, actually,
I want to go to Sea World

113
00:05:11,209 --> 00:05:13,139
but is Princeton along the way?

114
00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:14,230
[laughs]

115
00:05:17,129 --> 00:05:19,089
You're funny.

116
00:05:19,110 --> 00:05:21,110
We frown on that at Princeton.

117
00:05:22,060 --> 00:05:23,230
Okay, um..

118
00:05:23,250 --> 00:05:25,180
Look, actually,
I got to be honest with you.

119
00:05:25,199 --> 00:05:27,180
I just came because
my uncle made me.

120
00:05:27,199 --> 00:05:29,089
I really don't want
to go to Princeton.

121
00:05:29,110 --> 00:05:32,029
Everybody wants to go
to Princeton.

122
00:05:32,050 --> 00:05:33,199
Well, not me,amigo.

123
00:05:35,100 --> 00:05:37,129
Then you're in luck, Mr. Smith.

124
00:05:37,149 --> 00:05:39,149
Your scores are mediocre.

125
00:05:39,170 --> 00:05:43,040
Your grades would make
an impressive batting average.

126
00:05:43,060 --> 00:05:46,079
And your extracurricular
activities are nonexistent.

127
00:05:46,100 --> 00:05:48,230
Unless one counts
detention, in which case

128
00:05:48,250 --> 00:05:50,250
you lead the league.

129
00:05:50,269 --> 00:05:54,240
But my jacket is a fashion
miracle though, isn't it?

130
00:05:54,259 --> 00:05:57,220
In short, you're not
Princeton material.

131
00:05:57,240 --> 00:05:59,149
And your hat is on backwards.

132
00:05:59,170 --> 00:06:01,139
We frown on that at Princeton.

133
00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:03,290
Well, y'all frown on
a lot of stuff at Princeton.

134
00:06:04,009 --> 00:06:06,120
Bunch of sad-lookin'
people walking around..

135
00:06:12,019 --> 00:06:15,029
Look, actually, sir,
I've, I just really don't know

136
00:06:15,050 --> 00:06:16,199
what Princeton
would have to offer me.

137
00:06:16,220 --> 00:06:19,139
I mean,
are there any cute honeys?

138
00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:21,040
Mr. Smith

139
00:06:21,060 --> 00:06:22,110
Princeton has some of the most

140
00:06:22,129 --> 00:06:24,199
intelligent young women
in the country.

141
00:06:24,220 --> 00:06:26,279
There's no way I would
make a crass generalization

142
00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:28,259
about such a diverse group.

143
00:06:29,259 --> 00:06:32,000
Any cute honeys?

144
00:06:32,019 --> 00:06:33,120
No.

145
00:06:35,230 --> 00:06:38,199
Well, then I guess
my work here is done.

146
00:06:38,220 --> 00:06:40,159
Oh, but as a parting gift..

147
00:06:46,220 --> 00:06:47,279
...here you go.

148
00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:54,209
How did you do that?

149
00:06:54,230 --> 00:06:57,069
I've been working
on this thing for months.

150
00:06:57,090 --> 00:06:59,050
Yeah, well. Take care, buddy.

151
00:07:00,230 --> 00:07:02,120
Wait a minute.

152
00:07:02,139 --> 00:07:05,170
[instrumental music]

153
00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:11,170
♪ Love ♪

154
00:07:11,189 --> 00:07:15,060
♪ Love will
keep us together ♪

155
00:07:15,079 --> 00:07:18,259
♪ Think of me babe whenever ♪

156
00:07:18,279 --> 00:07:22,240
♪ Some sweet talkin'
girl comes along ♪

157
00:07:22,259 --> 00:07:24,220
♪ Singin' a song ♪

158
00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:26,060
♪ Don't mess around ♪

159
00:07:26,079 --> 00:07:28,029
♪ You just gotta be strong ♪

160
00:07:28,050 --> 00:07:30,000
♪ Just stop ♪

161
00:07:30,019 --> 00:07:31,269
♪ 'Cause I really love you ♪

162
00:07:31,290 --> 00:07:33,129
♪ Stop babe ♪

163
00:07:33,149 --> 00:07:35,269
♪ I been thinkin' of you ♪

164
00:07:35,290 --> 00:07:37,060
♪ Look in my heart ♪

165
00:07:37,079 --> 00:07:41,259
♪ And let love
keep us together ♪

166
00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:48,279
♪ You you ♪

167
00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:52,129
♪ You belong to me now ♪

168
00:07:52,149 --> 00:07:55,279
♪ Ain't gonna
set you free now ♪

169
00:07:56,000 --> 00:08:00,009
♪ When those girls
start hangin' around.. ♪

170
00:08:00,029 --> 00:08:02,079
Now, you get your English
scores up and I'll recommend

171
00:08:02,100 --> 00:08:04,230
that you get accepted
into Princeton.

172
00:08:04,250 --> 00:08:06,029
Look, I don't know, Ed.

173
00:08:06,050 --> 00:08:08,009
- It's just..
- Please.

174
00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:09,189
For me.

175
00:08:11,089 --> 00:08:13,040
I-it would mean a lot.

176
00:08:13,060 --> 00:08:15,110
Alright, alright,
I-I'll think about it.

177
00:08:15,129 --> 00:08:17,079
Peace out, E-Money.

178
00:08:17,100 --> 00:08:18,240
- Pshh!
- Pshh!

179
00:08:22,149 --> 00:08:23,189
Oh, man.

180
00:08:23,209 --> 00:08:25,269
Oh. Piece of cake.

181
00:08:30,089 --> 00:08:31,199
What's the capital of Burma?

182
00:08:31,220 --> 00:08:32,279
Look, man, I don't know.

183
00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:35,190
Rangoon. 640 acres is?

184
00:08:35,210 --> 00:08:38,009
I don't know. The size of
Barry white's hot tub.

185
00:08:39,169 --> 00:08:40,230
A square mile.

186
00:08:40,250 --> 00:08:42,289
Who said, "It's better
to die on your feet

187
00:08:43,009 --> 00:08:44,269
than live on your knees?"

188
00:08:44,289 --> 00:08:46,259
Oh, I'm guessing
that one wasn't Madonna.

189
00:08:49,100 --> 00:08:50,220
Emiliano Zapata.

190
00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:53,100
They made a mistake, you don't
deserve to go to Princeton.

191
00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:54,190
Wait a minute, wait a minute.

192
00:08:54,210 --> 00:08:58,129
Will, Princeton
is considering you?

193
00:08:58,149 --> 00:09:00,250
Considering me?
Begging me is more like it.

194
00:09:00,269 --> 00:09:04,009
I mean, yo, them people just
will not take no for an answer.

195
00:09:04,029 --> 00:09:06,250
- You turned them down?
- Yeah, bunch of times.

196
00:09:06,269 --> 00:09:08,220
But you know, dude started
gettin' all weepy-eyed

197
00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:11,149
and everythin'
so I told him I'd sleep on
it.

198
00:09:11,169 --> 00:09:13,279
How did you do it, Will?
The truth.

199
00:09:14,259 --> 00:09:16,179
Carlton, I was just myself.

200
00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:18,009
I guess, that was good enough.

201
00:09:18,029 --> 00:09:19,139
This is Princeton, Will.

202
00:09:19,159 --> 00:09:20,279
They don't want people
who are themselves.

203
00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:22,179
They want people like me.

204
00:09:24,009 --> 00:09:25,049
Now fess up.

205
00:09:25,070 --> 00:09:27,259
I told you, Carlton,
I was just myself.

206
00:09:27,279 --> 00:09:31,070
We talked. I told him about
the hood back in Philly

207
00:09:31,090 --> 00:09:34,169
and he told me about
some stuff called Spam.

208
00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:38,019
You know, if you're getting
a shot at Princeton

209
00:09:38,039 --> 00:09:40,159
that's pretty impressive.

210
00:09:40,179 --> 00:09:43,009
I'm proud of you, son.

211
00:09:43,029 --> 00:09:45,190
Proud enough to let me
use the Volvo next weekend?

212
00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:49,139
Sure.

213
00:09:51,159 --> 00:09:53,120
Did my lips say Volvo?

214
00:09:53,139 --> 00:09:55,190
My lips meant to say jag.

215
00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:57,190
Why not?

216
00:10:01,039 --> 00:10:02,220
Hey, you know what, Uncle Phil?

217
00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:05,120
I think I might like this
Princeton thing after all.

218
00:10:05,139 --> 00:10:07,019
Hey, you think, you could
show me that handshake?

219
00:10:07,039 --> 00:10:09,149
Well, okay, but we can't
show it to strangers, you know.

220
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:16,289
[instrumental music]

221
00:10:20,019 --> 00:10:22,159
Mr. Carlton Banks?

222
00:10:25,129 --> 00:10:26,269
Yo, wassup?

223
00:10:38,190 --> 00:10:41,190
- Sorry.
- That's alright.

224
00:10:41,210 --> 00:10:44,070
I've been looking through
your transcript, Mr. Banks--

225
00:10:44,090 --> 00:10:46,080
Oh, you don't have to
call me Mr. Banks.

226
00:10:46,100 --> 00:10:48,250
My posse calls me
Rap Master C.

227
00:10:49,269 --> 00:10:51,009
Excuse me?

228
00:10:51,029 --> 00:10:52,269
♪ Rap Master is my name ♪

229
00:10:52,289 --> 00:10:55,049
♪ Ask me again
and I'll tell you the same ♪

230
00:10:55,070 --> 00:10:56,159
[scatting]

231
00:10:59,269 --> 00:11:01,070
♪ Didn't mean to dis you ♪

232
00:11:01,090 --> 00:11:03,039
♪ Can I get you a tissue ♪

233
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:07,019
So, Rap Master.

234
00:11:07,039 --> 00:11:09,080
I noticed that
you are the treasurer

235
00:11:09,100 --> 00:11:11,080
of your young republican club.

236
00:11:11,100 --> 00:11:12,159
Three years running

237
00:11:12,179 --> 00:11:14,129
but enough about
that bougie stuff.

238
00:11:14,149 --> 00:11:15,190
Let me teach you how to vogue.

239
00:11:15,210 --> 00:11:17,009
Strike a pose.

240
00:11:19,070 --> 00:11:22,169
Mr. Banks, are you on
some sort of medication?

241
00:11:24,110 --> 00:11:26,039
Let me teach you
how to wear a hat.

242
00:11:26,059 --> 00:11:28,139
Mr. Banks, please.

243
00:11:28,159 --> 00:11:32,149
Mr. Banks, you're nothing
like what I expected.

244
00:11:32,169 --> 00:11:33,200
I'm not?

245
00:11:33,220 --> 00:11:34,279
Your scores are topnotch

246
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:36,179
and your grades
couldn't be better.

247
00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:37,240
They are.

248
00:11:37,259 --> 00:11:40,000
Unfortunately, at this time

249
00:11:40,019 --> 00:11:41,159
Princeton doesn't accept

250
00:11:41,179 --> 00:11:43,200
the clinically insane.

251
00:11:43,220 --> 00:11:45,029
Next!

252
00:11:49,159 --> 00:11:51,279
[instrumental music]

253
00:11:53,110 --> 00:11:55,009
That's...that's it?

254
00:11:55,029 --> 00:11:57,080
That's it, close the door
when you leave.

255
00:11:57,100 --> 00:11:58,240
There must be some mistake.

256
00:11:58,259 --> 00:12:00,279
Princeton's the only place
I've ever wanted to go.

257
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,019
It's the centerpiece
of my life's master plan.

258
00:12:03,039 --> 00:12:04,059
I hardly think--

259
00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:05,179
Do you think I'm exaggerating?

260
00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:07,120
Look, this is my master plan.

261
00:12:09,139 --> 00:12:11,080
See where Princeton comes in?

262
00:12:12,210 --> 00:12:15,019
Right after, "Lose virginity."

263
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:20,110
You're even stranger
than I thought.

264
00:12:20,129 --> 00:12:23,259
Thank you for your interest
in Princeton, Rap Master.

265
00:12:23,279 --> 00:12:25,289
It's time for my 3:30.

266
00:12:26,009 --> 00:12:28,000
Look, please don't
do this to me.

267
00:12:28,019 --> 00:12:29,039
Do you want me to beg?

268
00:12:29,059 --> 00:12:31,009
I'm begging you,
anything you want.

269
00:12:31,029 --> 00:12:33,009
You know, my sister Hilary's
not bad-looking

270
00:12:33,029 --> 00:12:34,049
and after two drinks or so

271
00:12:34,070 --> 00:12:36,029
she'll do just
about anything, so.

272
00:12:37,029 --> 00:12:38,090
Are you through?

273
00:12:38,110 --> 00:12:39,169
My dad's got money.

274
00:12:39,190 --> 00:12:42,009
A lotta money, and if you played
your cards right--

275
00:12:42,029 --> 00:12:43,009
Goodbye.

276
00:12:43,029 --> 00:12:45,200
Look, Ed!

277
00:12:45,220 --> 00:12:47,149
You seem like
an intelligent man

278
00:12:47,169 --> 00:12:49,070
a man who knows
what's good for himself.

279
00:12:49,090 --> 00:12:51,269
Accepting me would be
very good for you, Ed

280
00:12:51,289 --> 00:12:53,029
because I have friends.

281
00:12:53,049 --> 00:12:55,210
Big friends, big friends
with lots of body hair

282
00:12:55,230 --> 00:12:57,120
and mozzarella
on their breath.

283
00:12:57,139 --> 00:12:58,279
Capisce?

284
00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:02,120
Correct me if I'm wrong,
but was that a death threat?

285
00:13:02,139 --> 00:13:04,000
Hmm?

286
00:13:06,179 --> 00:13:09,220
[instrumental music]

287
00:13:11,100 --> 00:13:13,009
Yo-ho!

288
00:13:13,029 --> 00:13:15,000
- How did it go, son?
- Okay, did they accept you?

289
00:13:15,019 --> 00:13:16,200
Did you even have to ask.

290
00:13:16,220 --> 00:13:17,269
They're not just accepting me

291
00:13:17,289 --> 00:13:19,179
they're giving me
a full scholarship.

292
00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:20,269
- Yay!
- Yes!

293
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,080
Congratulations.

294
00:13:22,100 --> 00:13:24,289
We are so proud of you.

295
00:13:25,190 --> 00:13:26,279
Good going, C.

296
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:28,100
Can I have your dresser?

297
00:13:30,049 --> 00:13:31,210
I-I-I can't believe this.

298
00:13:31,230 --> 00:13:33,080
A full scholarship?

299
00:13:33,100 --> 00:13:34,120
That's amazing.

300
00:13:34,139 --> 00:13:37,179
I guess all that
hard work paid off.

301
00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:38,269
Philip, we gotta have
to have a party

302
00:13:38,289 --> 00:13:40,230
and invite all
of Carlton's friends.

303
00:13:40,250 --> 00:13:42,190
- I can't come.
- Why not?

304
00:13:42,210 --> 00:13:45,009
Because Carlton
doesn't have any friends.

305
00:13:46,090 --> 00:13:48,059
And I'll have
to dance with him.

306
00:13:49,090 --> 00:13:50,240
Mom, I appreciate the
thought

307
00:13:50,259 --> 00:13:52,120
but let's not go overboard.

308
00:13:52,139 --> 00:13:56,070
No, no, now this-this seems
to call for a new car.

309
00:13:56,090 --> 00:13:58,049
How about one of those
little convertibles?

310
00:13:58,070 --> 00:13:59,279
Princeton orange.

311
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:02,230
- Sure, dad, but--
- No buts, Carlton.

312
00:14:04,210 --> 00:14:06,279
You have made me so proud.

313
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:08,159
I made my bed.

314
00:14:08,179 --> 00:14:09,250
[telephone rings]

315
00:14:09,269 --> 00:14:11,139
- I'll get it. No, I'll get it!
- I'll get it.

316
00:14:11,159 --> 00:14:13,080
- No, no, no, I'll get it!
- I'll get it!

317
00:14:15,110 --> 00:14:16,220
Hello?

318
00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:18,250
It's Mr. Robinson,
your principal.

319
00:14:18,269 --> 00:14:21,190
Well, you're a little late, sir.
I just heard the good news.

320
00:14:23,149 --> 00:14:24,139
Oh, that's impossible.

321
00:14:24,159 --> 00:14:25,230
How could he get suspended

322
00:14:25,250 --> 00:14:27,250
after he just got
a full scholarship?

323
00:14:31,009 --> 00:14:34,000
I'll, uh, I'll call you back.

324
00:14:34,019 --> 00:14:35,169
Yeah, goodbye.

325
00:14:36,220 --> 00:14:38,120
Philip, what's going on?

326
00:14:40,269 --> 00:14:43,190
[sighs]
Carlton..

327
00:14:43,210 --> 00:14:47,120
Tell me you didn't threaten
to kill the man from Princeton.

328
00:14:49,039 --> 00:14:50,100
Oh, my God.

329
00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:53,129
- Dad, I--
- Just tell me that, please.

330
00:14:57,029 --> 00:14:58,179
I can't.

331
00:15:04,269 --> 00:15:07,279
[instrumental music]

332
00:15:12,019 --> 00:15:15,100
Yo, C, you look bad, man.

333
00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:17,049
Stop trying
to butter me up, Will.

334
00:15:17,070 --> 00:15:19,210
Oh, come on, baby,
give mamma a kiss.

335
00:15:19,230 --> 00:15:21,059
Go away.

336
00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:23,220
Oh, come on, mamma knows,
child, come on.

337
00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:26,049
Stop, Will, it's not funny.

338
00:15:26,070 --> 00:15:30,129
You ruined my life,
you, you big poopy.

339
00:15:32,039 --> 00:15:34,009
You get everything you want
without trying.

340
00:15:34,029 --> 00:15:36,070
You got picked first for teams,
the cutest girls

341
00:15:36,090 --> 00:15:38,019
everything. Why?

342
00:15:38,039 --> 00:15:40,139
'Cause I don't say
stuff like big poopy.

343
00:15:42,149 --> 00:15:44,240
Why don't you just
go back to Philly.

344
00:15:48,049 --> 00:15:50,179
Do I detect
a little hostility?

345
00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:54,269
You owe me
some flowers, mister.

346
00:16:06,129 --> 00:16:08,090
(man on TV)
'Look, you mustn't talk
like that.'

347
00:16:08,110 --> 00:16:10,179
'I won't get my wings
with that attitude.'

348
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:13,000
Oh, I don't know,
I guess you're right.

349
00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:17,190
Suppose it would've been better
if I'd never been born at all.

350
00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:19,009
What did you say?

351
00:16:19,029 --> 00:16:20,250
I said I wish
I'd never been born.

352
00:16:21,210 --> 00:16:23,190
You and me both, pal.

353
00:16:25,259 --> 00:16:28,289
[thunder rumbling]

354
00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:32,059
What the..

355
00:16:44,090 --> 00:16:46,100
Oh, my God, it's Tom Jones.

356
00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:47,279
W-what are you doin' here?

357
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:50,090
Well, I'm your guardian angel.

358
00:16:50,110 --> 00:16:52,220
Wow! No offense, Tom

359
00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:55,289
but I always thought my
guardian angel would be black.

360
00:16:56,009 --> 00:16:57,149
Oh, I knew Otis Redding.

361
00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:01,190
Well, anyway,
I'm glad you came.

362
00:17:01,210 --> 00:17:03,289
- I've been so unhappy.
- I know.

363
00:17:04,009 --> 00:17:05,210
Break it down to me.

364
00:17:06,259 --> 00:17:07,269
Huh?

365
00:17:07,289 --> 00:17:10,000
Tell me what's wrong.

366
00:17:10,019 --> 00:17:13,180
Well, it's kind of hard
to put into words.

367
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:15,029
Ah! I know.

368
00:17:16,059 --> 00:17:19,079
[instrumental music]

369
00:17:26,019 --> 00:17:27,150
♪ It's not unusual ♪

370
00:17:27,170 --> 00:17:29,220
♪ To have dad be proud of me ♪

371
00:17:31,009 --> 00:17:32,109
♪ It's not unusual ♪

372
00:17:32,130 --> 00:17:35,210
♪ 'Cause I love conformity ♪

373
00:17:35,230 --> 00:17:40,089
♪ And when I see dad hangin'
with Will instead of me ♪

374
00:17:40,109 --> 00:17:45,049
♪ It's not unusual
to see me cry ♪

375
00:17:45,069 --> 00:17:48,009
♪ I wanna die ♪

376
00:17:48,029 --> 00:17:52,250
♪ It's not unusual
to mess up at any time ♪

377
00:17:52,269 --> 00:17:55,099
♪ And when I see you
so down and out ♪

378
00:17:55,119 --> 00:17:57,269
♪ It's such a crime ♪

379
00:17:57,289 --> 00:18:02,210
♪ Did you ever wanna be
loved by anyone ♪

380
00:18:02,230 --> 00:18:04,109
♪ And then you let them down ♪

381
00:18:04,130 --> 00:18:07,000
♪ I blew it yesterday ♪

382
00:18:07,019 --> 00:18:09,259
♪ My trust fund's gone away ♪

383
00:18:09,279 --> 00:18:14,089
♪ My friend it happens
all the time ♪

384
00:18:14,109 --> 00:18:17,009
♪ And life will never do ♪

385
00:18:17,029 --> 00:18:19,250
♪ What you want it to ♪

386
00:18:19,269 --> 00:18:21,049
♪ Don't give yourself ♪

387
00:18:21,069 --> 00:18:27,069
♪ Such a hard time ♪♪

388
00:18:33,029 --> 00:18:35,000
Tom, you're the best
guardian angel

389
00:18:35,019 --> 00:18:36,180
a guy could ever ask for.

390
00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:38,150
But do you think you
can change history

391
00:18:38,170 --> 00:18:39,269
so that I've never been born?

392
00:18:39,289 --> 00:18:42,170
Well, not quite, but I could
probably pull some strings

393
00:18:42,190 --> 00:18:44,269
and have you moved
oppositeRoseanne.

394
00:18:46,079 --> 00:18:47,180
But before I do that.

395
00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:49,170
I want you to see
what things would be like

396
00:18:49,190 --> 00:18:51,079
if you didn't exist.

397
00:18:52,079 --> 00:18:54,170
[instrumental music]

398
00:18:54,190 --> 00:18:56,009
(Will)
'Get ready,
'cause I'm coming now.'

399
00:18:56,029 --> 00:18:58,119
- Okay.
- Come on, shoot for it.

400
00:18:58,140 --> 00:18:59,279
He dribbles down he turns into

401
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,259
Darryl Dawkins,
he's breaks the backboard.

402
00:19:01,279 --> 00:19:04,119
Aah!

403
00:19:04,140 --> 00:19:06,029
Alright!

404
00:19:06,049 --> 00:19:08,180
Oh, it's perfect, baby,
beautiful.

405
00:19:12,039 --> 00:19:14,240
What happened?
And where's mom?

406
00:19:14,259 --> 00:19:16,079
Well, without you,
your family was

407
00:19:16,099 --> 00:19:18,029
defenseless against Will.

408
00:19:18,049 --> 00:19:19,289
'You see they started to
focus on happiness'

409
00:19:20,009 --> 00:19:21,130
instead of success.

410
00:19:21,150 --> 00:19:24,079
Your mother ran away
with the milkman.

411
00:19:24,099 --> 00:19:27,180
'Your father quit
his practice to paint.'

412
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:30,089
'Ashley does nothing
but dance all day.'

413
00:19:30,109 --> 00:19:33,200
'And Hilary
just does her hair.'

414
00:19:33,220 --> 00:19:36,099
Well, maybe not
everything changed.

415
00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:40,269
But-but they're not
making any money.

416
00:19:40,289 --> 00:19:42,119
I mean,
so what if they're happy?

417
00:19:42,140 --> 00:19:44,099
I mean, how they're
gonna afford this house

418
00:19:44,119 --> 00:19:46,039
our cars, our club memberships?

419
00:19:46,059 --> 00:19:48,069
Well, they can't,
they're gonna lose it all.

420
00:19:48,089 --> 00:19:50,019
Happiness has ruined them.

421
00:19:50,039 --> 00:19:51,170
I've got to save them.

422
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:53,289
I've gotta teach them about
greed and social climbing

423
00:19:54,009 --> 00:19:56,230
And how to claim your dog
as a dependent.

424
00:19:56,250 --> 00:19:59,000
Now, that's the Carlton I know.

425
00:19:59,019 --> 00:20:00,210
Maestro.

426
00:20:02,119 --> 00:20:03,259
♪ It's not unusual ♪

427
00:20:03,279 --> 00:20:07,099
♪ To feel bad at any time ♪

428
00:20:07,119 --> 00:20:08,190
♪ It's not unusual ♪

429
00:20:08,210 --> 00:20:12,029
♪ To feel sad at any time ♪

430
00:20:12,049 --> 00:20:16,250
♪ But if I ever am
in a jam at any time ♪

431
00:20:16,269 --> 00:20:18,210
♪ It's not unusual ♪

432
00:20:18,230 --> 00:20:20,289
♪ To find that
I am there for you ♪

433
00:20:21,009 --> 00:20:23,099
♪ Whoa whoa oh whoa oh ♪

434
00:20:23,119 --> 00:20:24,140
♪ Oh ♪

435
00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:25,200
♪ Whoa oh ♪

436
00:20:25,220 --> 00:20:28,059
♪ Whoa whoa whoa whoa ♪

437
00:20:28,079 --> 00:20:29,119
♪ Whoa ♪

438
00:20:29,140 --> 00:20:30,200
♪ Oh ♪

439
00:20:30,220 --> 00:20:31,250
♪ Oh ♪

440
00:20:31,269 --> 00:20:33,000
♪ Alright ♪

441
00:20:33,019 --> 00:20:35,039
♪ Oh yeah ♪

442
00:20:41,220 --> 00:20:43,180
Good morning, Will.

443
00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:45,039
Good morning?

444
00:20:46,009 --> 00:20:47,220
You-you sure you don't mean

445
00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:49,279
die you gravy-suckin' pig?

446
00:20:51,210 --> 00:20:53,240
Will, I spoke
out of turn earlier.

447
00:20:53,259 --> 00:20:56,119
I had no right
to attack you the way I did.

448
00:20:57,140 --> 00:20:59,279
Oh, well, that's cool, man.

449
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:02,140
Plus, I decided I don't even
wanna go to Princeton, you know?

450
00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:05,009
So I called up Ed and I put
the good word in for you.

451
00:21:05,029 --> 00:21:07,109
And he's giving me
another chance?

452
00:21:07,130 --> 00:21:10,220
Well, no he still thinks
you're kinda crazy.

453
00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:14,029
But, uh, he'd like to take
Hilary out for cocktails.

454
00:21:18,269 --> 00:21:20,049
Will, would you excuse us,
please?

455
00:21:20,069 --> 00:21:22,000
I'd like to talk
to Carlton alone.

456
00:21:23,119 --> 00:21:26,069
Go easy on him, Uncle Phil.
He's a moron.

457
00:21:28,069 --> 00:21:31,000
Dad, before you start,
I just wanna say

458
00:21:31,019 --> 00:21:33,220
I'm sorry about
the death threat.

459
00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:38,000
Son, I admit that wasn't exactly
the bright spot of my day

460
00:21:38,019 --> 00:21:41,269
but what really hurt the
most,
is that you lied to me.

461
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:44,079
But I didn't know
how to tell you.

462
00:21:44,099 --> 00:21:46,230
I mean, you were so happy
that Princeton wanted Will.

463
00:21:46,250 --> 00:21:48,190
I thought you'd like him
more than me.

464
00:21:48,210 --> 00:21:50,220
I could never like Will.

465
00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:52,190
Well, I mean, I like him.

466
00:21:53,289 --> 00:21:55,289
Wait a minute,
here I am lying to you.

467
00:21:58,000 --> 00:21:59,210
I really blew it.

468
00:21:59,230 --> 00:22:01,289
I'm sorry you won't
get to go to Princeton.

469
00:22:02,009 --> 00:22:04,230
I know how much
that meant to you.

470
00:22:04,250 --> 00:22:07,160
Dad, the only reason
I wanted to go to Princeton

471
00:22:07,180 --> 00:22:09,000
is because
I wanted to be like you.

472
00:22:09,019 --> 00:22:11,009
You can't be like me
Carlton.

473
00:22:11,029 --> 00:22:13,039
Or like Will
or like anybody else.

474
00:22:13,059 --> 00:22:15,009
You can only be like you.

475
00:22:15,269 --> 00:22:17,240
There's no need to be cruel.

476
00:22:21,059 --> 00:22:22,119
Son..

477
00:22:23,230 --> 00:22:27,180
...who you are
is just fine with me.

478
00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:29,049
I mean that.

479
00:22:30,069 --> 00:22:32,119
Carlton.

480
00:22:32,140 --> 00:22:34,039
Yeah?

481
00:22:34,059 --> 00:22:35,240
You're grounded.

482
00:22:38,019 --> 00:22:39,150
Thanks, dad.

483
00:22:47,190 --> 00:22:50,190
Oh, do I sense a little
hostility?

484
00:22:52,259 --> 00:22:54,279
You owe me some flowers, mister.

485
00:23:06,269 --> 00:23:08,200
I did that on purpose!

486
00:23:11,079 --> 00:23:13,240
[instrumental music]