1 00:00:06,059 --> 00:00:07,190 Okay, here we go. 2 00:00:07,209 --> 00:00:09,039 Put down your money, find the honey. 3 00:00:09,060 --> 00:00:12,070 Locate the black queen, and I don't mean Little Richard. 4 00:00:13,269 --> 00:00:15,000 There! 5 00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:24,030 Okay, Carlton, you're pretty good for a white guy. 6 00:00:24,050 --> 00:00:27,250 - What's going on out here? - I'm cleaning up, Geoffrey. 7 00:00:27,269 --> 00:00:30,120 I hope they pay you more than they pay me. 8 00:00:31,219 --> 00:00:35,149 Seriously, Geoffrey, you should get in on this. 9 00:00:35,170 --> 00:00:39,250 Do you play the Hell's Kitchen version or the A-train hybrid. 10 00:00:40,210 --> 00:00:44,030 - Huh? - I'm in. 11 00:00:44,049 --> 00:00:46,070 Alright, here we go. 12 00:00:47,070 --> 00:00:49,049 Zagnut, Goobers, Good and Plenty 13 00:00:49,070 --> 00:00:52,020 locate the black girl, you win $20. 14 00:00:54,210 --> 00:00:56,049 That one. 15 00:00:57,219 --> 00:01:00,049 Yes! 16 00:01:00,070 --> 00:01:04,079 Well, there goes Saturday night at Sizzler. 17 00:01:04,099 --> 00:01:06,079 I had coupons, too. 18 00:01:07,209 --> 00:01:10,120 Beginner's luck, Master William. 19 00:01:10,140 --> 00:01:14,010 - One last bet? - No, no, thanks. I'm out, G. 20 00:01:14,030 --> 00:01:16,289 Didn't realize you were such a coward. 21 00:01:17,010 --> 00:01:19,180 [imitating a chicken] 22 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:23,289 Chicken. Bak-bak.. 23 00:01:24,010 --> 00:01:27,170 Alright, look, don't nobody call me a coward. 24 00:01:27,189 --> 00:01:30,039 - What's your bet? - 50 big ones. 25 00:01:31,180 --> 00:01:35,090 I ain't no punk, but I'll take that down. Here we go. 26 00:01:41,020 --> 00:01:43,090 I can't look. 27 00:01:47,090 --> 00:01:51,069 - Drat! - Damn. Oh, damn, G. 28 00:01:51,090 --> 00:01:53,060 Damn! There, see, that one red. 29 00:01:53,079 --> 00:01:57,069 See, if it was like you, you'd have won but it red so you lost. 30 00:01:57,090 --> 00:01:59,009 Better luck next time. 31 00:01:59,030 --> 00:02:02,030 He fell for it, Will. Now let's go hustle dad. 32 00:02:05,140 --> 00:02:07,049 - Oops. - "Oops?" 33 00:02:07,069 --> 00:02:10,099 Good cover. I'm guessing you've done this before? 34 00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:12,120 [theme song] 35 00:02:12,139 --> 00:02:13,199 ♪ Now this is a story ♪ 36 00:02:13,219 --> 00:02:15,219 ♪ All about how my life got flipped ♪ 37 00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:17,079 ♪ Turned upside-down ♪ 38 00:02:17,099 --> 00:02:19,090 ♪ And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there ♪ 39 00:02:19,110 --> 00:02:20,210 ♪ I'll tell you how I became the prince ♪ 40 00:02:20,229 --> 00:02:22,129 ♪ Of a town called Bel-Air ♪ 41 00:02:31,079 --> 00:02:33,219 ♪ In West Philadelphia, born and raised ♪ 42 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:36,090 ♪ On the playground is where I spent most of my days ♪ 43 00:02:36,110 --> 00:02:38,120 ♪ Chillin' out, maxin' relaxing all cool ♪ 44 00:02:38,139 --> 00:02:40,270 ♪ And all shootin' some b-ball outside of the school ♪ 45 00:02:40,289 --> 00:02:43,110 ♪ When a couple of guys who were up to no good ♪ 46 00:02:43,129 --> 00:02:45,139 ♪ Started makin' trouble in my neighborhood ♪ 47 00:02:45,159 --> 00:02:48,039 ♪ I got in one little fight and my mom got scared ♪ 48 00:02:48,060 --> 00:02:49,079 ♪ And said you're moving with your auntie ♪ 49 00:02:49,099 --> 00:02:50,189 ♪ And uncle in Bel-Air ♪ 50 00:02:50,210 --> 00:02:52,189 ♪ I whistled for a cab and when it came near ♪ 51 00:02:52,210 --> 00:02:55,120 ♪ The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror ♪ 52 00:02:55,139 --> 00:02:57,189 ♪ If anything I can say that this cab was rare ♪ 53 00:02:57,210 --> 00:02:58,229 ♪ But I thought nah forget it ♪ 54 00:02:58,250 --> 00:03:01,129 ♪ Yo homes to Bel-Air ♪ 55 00:03:01,150 --> 00:03:04,150 ♪ I pulled up to a house about seven or eight ♪ 56 00:03:04,169 --> 00:03:05,250 ♪ And I yelled to the cabbie ♪ 57 00:03:05,270 --> 00:03:07,090 ♪ Yo homes smell you later ♪ 58 00:03:07,110 --> 00:03:09,090 ♪ I looked at my kingdom I was finally there ♪ 59 00:03:09,110 --> 00:03:12,009 ♪ To sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air ♪ 60 00:03:23,020 --> 00:03:24,129 Oh, you're wasting your time, Carlton. 61 00:03:24,150 --> 00:03:28,079 Geoffrey already cut out all the bra ads. 62 00:03:28,099 --> 00:03:31,000 Will, for your information, I was looking at those 63 00:03:31,020 --> 00:03:33,079 funny little markings underneath the pictures. 64 00:03:33,099 --> 00:03:35,020 In Bel-Air we call them "Words." 65 00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:40,139 Hey, guess what, I just finished my first short story. 66 00:03:40,159 --> 00:03:42,259 Oh, what a coincidence, your first short story 67 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:46,199 and your first short son in the same room. 68 00:03:46,219 --> 00:03:48,289 My friend at Essence magazine offered to read it. 69 00:03:49,009 --> 00:03:51,090 But, before she does, I wanted to give you a copy 70 00:03:51,110 --> 00:03:54,039 and I want you to tell me exactly what you think. 71 00:03:54,060 --> 00:03:55,229 Great, I can't wait to read it. 72 00:03:55,250 --> 00:03:58,060 Well, now that I am a professional 73 00:03:58,079 --> 00:04:00,120 I'm gonna go check out that new word processor. 74 00:04:00,139 --> 00:04:03,069 - See you. - That's my little writer. 75 00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:09,090 Okay, somebody bury this. 76 00:04:09,110 --> 00:04:10,099 Dad, are you crazy? 77 00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:11,169 If I read this story, it'll be 78 00:04:11,189 --> 00:04:13,150 the biggest mistake I've ever made. 79 00:04:13,169 --> 00:04:15,060 I don't know about that, Uncle Phil. 80 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:17,209 Remember them plaid shorts you wore last summer? 81 00:04:21,009 --> 00:04:24,100 Look, let me tell you boys something about women. 82 00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:26,089 Now, if I read it and say I like it 83 00:04:26,110 --> 00:04:28,230 she'll think I'm just trying to make her happy. 84 00:04:28,250 --> 00:04:30,110 If I say I don't like it 85 00:04:30,129 --> 00:04:32,209 she'll stop trying to make me happy. 86 00:04:32,230 --> 00:04:37,230 Whoo. Yes, women is a trip, Uncle Phil. 87 00:04:37,250 --> 00:04:39,050 It's just like, let's say 88 00:04:39,069 --> 00:04:41,029 you accidentally scream out the wrong name 89 00:04:41,050 --> 00:04:43,279 and they jumping all out the back of your car like that. 90 00:04:47,029 --> 00:04:49,110 So, what are you gonna do, dad? 91 00:04:49,129 --> 00:04:51,230 - Hey, I'm the man of the house. - Yeah. 92 00:04:51,250 --> 00:04:53,019 What do you think I'm gonna do? 93 00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:54,220 What a man would do. 94 00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:58,209 Buy her a car and hope she forgets all about this. 95 00:04:58,230 --> 00:05:03,019 You know, we can really learn a lot from that man. 96 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:04,279 Hey, G, would you make me a sandwich? 97 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,050 But of course. 98 00:05:12,189 --> 00:05:14,250 Now you're a sandwich. 99 00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:20,180 You can take it off your head. 100 00:05:20,199 --> 00:05:25,040 - Uh, G, something wrong? - You swindled me. 101 00:05:25,060 --> 00:05:27,240 I was planning to use that money on lottery tickets. 102 00:05:27,259 --> 00:05:31,079 The jackpot's up to $26,000,000. 103 00:05:31,100 --> 00:05:32,110 Wow! 104 00:05:32,129 --> 00:05:33,279 Could you imagine what life would be like 105 00:05:34,009 --> 00:05:35,090 with all that money? 106 00:05:35,110 --> 00:05:38,139 Buying whatever you want, driving fancy cars 107 00:05:38,159 --> 00:05:40,269 dining in fancy restaurants. 108 00:05:42,139 --> 00:05:46,019 Wait a second, that is what life is like. 109 00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:47,170 I see this is getting me nowhere. 110 00:05:47,189 --> 00:05:49,139 Now, if you'll excuse me 111 00:05:49,159 --> 00:05:52,079 I'm going to enjoy the one thing you can't spoil for me. 112 00:05:52,100 --> 00:05:53,189 I don't know, Will. 113 00:05:53,209 --> 00:05:55,149 I mean, Geoffrey works hard for his money. 114 00:05:55,170 --> 00:05:57,240 - Yeah. - You know, we have so much. 115 00:05:57,259 --> 00:05:59,170 And he has so little. 116 00:06:01,009 --> 00:06:03,100 - Well, now we'll have more. - Yeah, absolutely. 117 00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:05,079 (male #1 on TV) 'Let's play "Brainstorm."' 118 00:06:05,100 --> 00:06:08,089 (male #2) 'Felix, I'll take Famous Quotes for $100.' 119 00:06:08,110 --> 00:06:12,110 (male #3) 'The question is, "What is the motto of The Three Musketeers?"' 120 00:06:12,129 --> 00:06:15,000 That's an easy one. "Creamy on the inside 121 00:06:15,019 --> 00:06:17,029 smooth on the outside." 122 00:06:17,050 --> 00:06:21,189 - "All for one and one for all!" - 'Right again.' 123 00:06:21,209 --> 00:06:23,160 I can't believe you missed that one, G. 124 00:06:23,180 --> 00:06:24,290 Yeah, even Will could have guessed that one 125 00:06:25,009 --> 00:06:28,089 and the only thing he reads is the cereal box. 126 00:06:28,110 --> 00:06:30,199 Yeah, well, at least I don't fit in one. 127 00:06:33,019 --> 00:06:37,149 Well, if you're so confident in my lack of ability 128 00:06:37,170 --> 00:06:40,040 perhaps you'd like to make a little wager. 129 00:06:40,060 --> 00:06:43,290 - Say, $30? - Done. 130 00:06:44,009 --> 00:06:47,040 (male #4) 'Vietnam for $200.' 131 00:06:47,060 --> 00:06:50,060 (male #5) 'You drew the wild card.' 132 00:06:50,079 --> 00:06:53,159 What do you say, Geoffrey? Want to double your bet? 133 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:57,170 Well, it is an awful lot of money 134 00:06:57,189 --> 00:06:59,189 but, what the hell? 135 00:07:00,230 --> 00:07:02,060 (male #6) 'And the question is.' 136 00:07:02,079 --> 00:07:04,040 '"Who is the South Vietnamese president' 137 00:07:04,060 --> 00:07:09,259 'killed by his own generals in 1963?"' 138 00:07:09,279 --> 00:07:11,279 Ngo Dinh Diem. 139 00:07:13,129 --> 00:07:18,019 (male #7) 'No guesses? The correct answer is Ngo Dinh Diem.' 140 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,069 [laughing] Splendid. 141 00:07:27,290 --> 00:07:30,259 I say we call Immigration. 142 00:07:30,279 --> 00:07:32,170 Is this "Brainstorm?" 143 00:07:32,189 --> 00:07:35,199 How sad. Some people will do anything for money. 144 00:07:35,220 --> 00:07:38,129 I mean, why don't they just ask their fathers? 145 00:07:38,149 --> 00:07:41,019 (male #8) 'The category is Greek History.' 146 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:43,170 'And the final Brainstorm question is.' 147 00:07:43,189 --> 00:07:47,269 '"What Bronze Age civilization emerged about 2500 BC?"' 148 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:51,180 Oh, I know. The Minoan civilization. 149 00:07:51,199 --> 00:07:55,129 - 'The Minoan civilization?' - 'Correct.' 150 00:07:55,149 --> 00:07:57,159 Whoa , whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up, hold up. 151 00:07:57,180 --> 00:07:58,269 Time out. Time out. 152 00:07:58,290 --> 00:08:01,129 Flag on the plate, traveling, offsides, clipping. 153 00:08:01,149 --> 00:08:04,160 Hold up, wait a minute. 154 00:08:04,180 --> 00:08:07,170 - What's up with this here? - Hilary, how'd you know that? 155 00:08:07,189 --> 00:08:10,230 Easy, Geoffrey's been watching that tape all day. 156 00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:18,230 Well, I'm off to the store. 157 00:08:18,250 --> 00:08:22,019 Oh, when you're through, do turn off the VCR 158 00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:25,029 and return that tape of "Brainstorm" to my room. 159 00:08:27,009 --> 00:08:30,040 And might I add, ha-ha! 160 00:08:30,060 --> 00:08:32,210 And, ha! 161 00:08:57,070 --> 00:09:01,009 - Carlton, come on, come on. - Okay, okay. 162 00:09:01,029 --> 00:09:03,190 I wonder what Geoffrey uses that cape for. 163 00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:07,049 Just.. 164 00:09:07,070 --> 00:09:09,149 Give me the lottery ticket. 165 00:09:09,169 --> 00:09:11,179 Alright, watch the door. 166 00:09:17,220 --> 00:09:19,179 Are you sure we should do this? 167 00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:21,240 Look, come on, man. He got our money. 168 00:09:21,259 --> 00:09:23,230 I mean, it's either this or force him 169 00:09:23,250 --> 00:09:25,259 to listen to Yoko Ono albums. 170 00:09:32,070 --> 00:09:35,100 Boys, your mother is driving me crazy 171 00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:37,009 about reading that short story. 172 00:09:37,029 --> 00:09:38,200 Well, gee, dad, why don't you just read it 173 00:09:38,220 --> 00:09:39,250 and get it over with? 174 00:09:39,269 --> 00:09:41,139 I did read it. 175 00:09:41,159 --> 00:09:44,220 Trust me, the only thing your mother should write is checks. 176 00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:46,259 So, if she asks where I am 177 00:09:46,279 --> 00:09:48,250 you haven't seen me and I'm not at home. 178 00:09:48,269 --> 00:09:51,019 - Whoa, whoa, but, Uncle Phil-- - No "Buts," Will. 179 00:09:51,039 --> 00:09:52,100 No matter what she says 180 00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:54,120 you haven't seen hide nor hair of me. 181 00:09:54,139 --> 00:09:57,059 Hi, sweetheart. How long have you been there? 182 00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:59,200 You read it. You read it and you hated it. 183 00:09:59,220 --> 00:10:03,080 No, I lost it. Yeah, yeah, that's it. 184 00:10:03,100 --> 00:10:05,070 And I was so looking forward to reading it. 185 00:10:05,090 --> 00:10:08,070 Oh, well, that's okay 'cause, I made an extra copy. Here. 186 00:10:08,090 --> 00:10:12,070 - And I want you to be honest. - I will. 187 00:10:12,090 --> 00:10:17,000 Oh, check it out. The lottery numbers are coming on! 188 00:10:17,019 --> 00:10:19,059 Turn it up. Turn it up. 189 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:24,049 Why, Geoffrey, do you have a ticket in today's drawing? 190 00:10:24,070 --> 00:10:27,029 (male #9) 'And this week's SuperLotto numbers are.' 191 00:10:27,049 --> 00:10:30,120 'Sixteen. Twenty-two.' 192 00:10:30,139 --> 00:10:32,110 - 'Three. '- Oh, my.. 193 00:10:32,129 --> 00:10:34,279 - 'Forty-one.' - Yes! Yes! 194 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:37,059 - 'Twelve.' - Yes! Please, God. 195 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:38,279 Fifteen. Fifteen, please. 196 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:42,279 (male #10) 'And the last number for the $26,000,000 jackpot..' 197 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:45,070 '...fifteen!' 198 00:10:45,090 --> 00:10:46,179 [screaming] 199 00:10:47,190 --> 00:10:50,019 I'm rich! I'm rich! 200 00:10:50,039 --> 00:10:52,120 I'm rich! I'm rich! 201 00:10:52,139 --> 00:10:54,139 Did someone say "Rich"? 202 00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:01,139 Hey! I don't care how much money you got, brother, you ain't.. 203 00:11:01,159 --> 00:11:02,230 What's going on in here? 204 00:11:02,250 --> 00:11:04,080 And don't tell me I'm too young to know 205 00:11:04,100 --> 00:11:06,120 because I'm sick of it. 206 00:11:06,139 --> 00:11:10,039 My friends, this calls for a drink. 207 00:11:10,059 --> 00:11:13,220 - This is incredible. - I'll say. 208 00:11:15,259 --> 00:11:17,139 Uh, uh, Geoffrey. 209 00:11:17,159 --> 00:11:21,090 Geoffrey, now, that's a $500 bottle of champagne. 210 00:11:21,110 --> 00:11:25,289 Ah, the cheap stuff. Not to worry, Phil. 211 00:11:26,009 --> 00:11:27,210 It's on me. 212 00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:29,289 Geoffrey, check it out. Me and Carlton-- 213 00:11:30,009 --> 00:11:33,289 Aha, your Montrose vase 214 00:11:34,009 --> 00:11:37,179 attracts dust like a magnet. 215 00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:40,139 G, listen.. 216 00:11:40,159 --> 00:11:42,169 Problem solved. 217 00:11:42,190 --> 00:11:45,210 - Okay, G, listen, listen. - Philip. 218 00:11:45,230 --> 00:11:49,029 I have $1,000 with your name on it. 219 00:11:49,049 --> 00:11:53,000 Do the family a favor, get Viv some cooking lessons. 220 00:11:53,019 --> 00:11:55,029 You.. 221 00:11:55,049 --> 00:11:59,100 And, Miss Ashley, how does a Mercedes sound? 222 00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:00,200 Vroom, vroom? 223 00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:03,019 Very clever, I'll get you two. 224 00:12:04,049 --> 00:12:05,240 Vroom, vroom, vroom. 225 00:12:08,059 --> 00:12:10,009 Nice try. 226 00:12:11,169 --> 00:12:15,080 In case you hadn't figured it out.. 227 00:12:15,100 --> 00:12:17,110 ...I quit. 228 00:12:17,129 --> 00:12:19,240 I quit. I quit. 229 00:12:19,259 --> 00:12:23,090 I quit. I quit. I quit. 230 00:12:31,230 --> 00:12:34,039 Mom and dad are gonna kill us when they find out what we did. 231 00:12:34,059 --> 00:12:36,149 No, they're not, 'cause they're not gonna find out what we did. 232 00:12:36,169 --> 00:12:39,250 Geoffrey's not leaving because I'm gonna do the right thing. 233 00:12:39,269 --> 00:12:41,149 What, tell the truth? 234 00:12:41,169 --> 00:12:43,279 No, I'm gonna beg like Keith Sweat. 235 00:12:51,019 --> 00:12:55,169 ♪ Money money money money money ♪ 236 00:12:55,190 --> 00:12:59,009 ♪ Money money money money.. ♪ 237 00:12:59,029 --> 00:13:00,149 Money. 238 00:13:00,169 --> 00:13:05,129 ♪ Money money money money money.. ♪ 239 00:13:05,149 --> 00:13:07,139 Will, do something. 240 00:13:16,139 --> 00:13:17,289 Will! 241 00:13:22,179 --> 00:13:24,059 You can keep the tape. 242 00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:27,070 I'm buying the O'Jays. 243 00:13:27,090 --> 00:13:30,080 Look, G 244 00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:34,210 we've known each other, you know, a long time, right? 245 00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:37,179 We certainly have. 246 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:39,220 My God! 247 00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:42,039 All these years. 248 00:13:42,059 --> 00:13:46,129 All these memories. 249 00:13:46,149 --> 00:13:50,090 How do you say goodbye? 250 00:13:50,110 --> 00:13:53,240 Like this, "Goodbye." 251 00:13:53,259 --> 00:13:55,149 Goodbye. 252 00:13:56,220 --> 00:13:58,190 Geoffrey, you remember when you came to us 253 00:13:58,210 --> 00:14:02,120 and you had no money and nowhere to go? 254 00:14:03,110 --> 00:14:05,139 Yes! 255 00:14:05,159 --> 00:14:08,070 Well, some things never change. 256 00:14:08,090 --> 00:14:11,169 Am I missing something? 257 00:14:11,190 --> 00:14:14,190 Yeah, about $26,000,000. 258 00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:19,029 Will did it. 259 00:14:19,049 --> 00:14:21,039 Did what? 260 00:14:23,149 --> 00:14:26,070 We tricked you into thinking you won, G. 261 00:14:26,090 --> 00:14:31,049 What you just watched was a tape of last week's lottery numbers. 262 00:14:34,110 --> 00:14:37,090 [laughing] 263 00:14:37,110 --> 00:14:39,009 How clever. 264 00:14:40,149 --> 00:14:44,110 You used my own ruse against me. 265 00:14:44,129 --> 00:14:46,230 How I admire you. 266 00:14:46,250 --> 00:14:49,230 Die! Die! Die! 267 00:14:49,250 --> 00:14:52,000 Geoffrey, you're killing him. 268 00:14:52,019 --> 00:14:54,110 You catch on quickly, you little twit. 269 00:14:54,129 --> 00:14:57,259 G, G, listen, I said we're sorry. 270 00:14:58,169 --> 00:15:00,080 Oh, I'm.. I'm.. 271 00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:03,110 I'm sorry. I must not have heard you. 272 00:15:03,129 --> 00:15:07,070 I'm fine. I'm okay. I'm okay. 273 00:15:17,269 --> 00:15:20,159 Look, G. 274 00:15:20,179 --> 00:15:22,190 It's gonna be alright, man. 275 00:15:22,210 --> 00:15:24,279 Uncle Phil will give you your job back. 276 00:15:25,289 --> 00:15:29,159 What about the money? 277 00:15:29,179 --> 00:15:31,269 There is no money. 278 00:15:36,190 --> 00:15:38,039 I see. 279 00:15:40,179 --> 00:15:43,269 I have no choice but to leave. 280 00:15:46,029 --> 00:15:48,220 I made such a fool of myself. 281 00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:53,029 Ooh, I shudder to think what I said to your parents. 282 00:15:56,149 --> 00:16:00,080 It's alright, G. Come on, man. 283 00:16:00,100 --> 00:16:03,090 I'm too humiliated to stay. 284 00:16:03,110 --> 00:16:06,070 - But Geoffrey, you can't go. - Come on, G. 285 00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:08,200 It was a joke, man. 286 00:16:09,220 --> 00:16:11,259 Will, what are we gonna do? 287 00:16:13,159 --> 00:16:14,230 Look, I don't know about you, man 288 00:16:14,250 --> 00:16:17,190 but I'm gonna take this TV right here, man. 289 00:16:19,049 --> 00:16:22,090 Hey, will you grab that radio, drop it off in my room for me. 290 00:16:26,100 --> 00:16:27,230 You did what? 291 00:16:27,250 --> 00:16:31,240 Are you out of your horny, little adolescent minds? 292 00:16:31,259 --> 00:16:34,009 I know I am, dad. 293 00:16:35,259 --> 00:16:38,179 What you did was not only humiliating 294 00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:41,129 it caused Geoffrey to quit his job. 295 00:16:41,149 --> 00:16:43,240 Look, Uncle Phil, it was just a joke. 296 00:16:43,259 --> 00:16:45,240 A joke I had nothing to do with, dad. 297 00:16:45,259 --> 00:16:49,000 I mean, you know me, I don't even have a sense of humor. 298 00:16:51,159 --> 00:16:54,120 You two have pulled some pranks in your day 299 00:16:54,139 --> 00:16:57,259 but this one, this one takes the cake. 300 00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:08,289 He's about to blow, man. 301 00:17:09,009 --> 00:17:12,039 Make a break for the front door. I'll cover you. 302 00:17:12,059 --> 00:17:14,269 - So. - So. 303 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:18,269 Tell me, if you were me, what would you do? 304 00:17:21,009 --> 00:17:22,289 I don't know, forget the whole thing 305 00:17:23,009 --> 00:17:24,289 and get us a couple jet skis. 306 00:17:25,009 --> 00:17:27,039 I like that. You go.. 307 00:17:27,059 --> 00:17:29,150 Look, you big-eared freeloader 308 00:17:29,170 --> 00:17:31,099 you take the little, square-headed cousin, here 309 00:17:31,119 --> 00:17:33,200 and you find Geoffrey and you bring him back 310 00:17:33,220 --> 00:17:35,099 or they'll never find your bodies. 311 00:17:35,119 --> 00:17:38,240 And I'm a judge. I can make it happen. 312 00:17:45,049 --> 00:17:47,200 You know, really, I don't mind the yelling. 313 00:17:47,220 --> 00:17:50,039 But does he have to spit? 314 00:18:02,289 --> 00:18:05,279 This happens all the time. They think I'm Bryant Gumbel. 315 00:18:10,119 --> 00:18:12,230 Are you the guy from "Webster?" 316 00:18:19,130 --> 00:18:21,109 No. 317 00:18:21,130 --> 00:18:24,099 I told you it was the guy from "Diff'rent Strokes." 318 00:18:26,089 --> 00:18:28,170 So, Bryant, are you sure this the restaurant 319 00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:31,119 Hilary said G was working at? 320 00:18:31,140 --> 00:18:33,059 What are you two nimrods doing here? 321 00:18:33,079 --> 00:18:36,000 - I'm pretty sure. - Look, G. 322 00:18:36,019 --> 00:18:38,049 Come on, man, we want you to come home with us. 323 00:18:38,069 --> 00:18:40,059 I'm afraid that's impossible. 324 00:18:40,079 --> 00:18:42,170 Alright, G, we made a mistake, okay. 325 00:18:42,190 --> 00:18:46,009 What, are you going to hold a grudge forever? 326 00:18:46,029 --> 00:18:48,069 How about until I'm dead? 327 00:18:48,089 --> 00:18:50,019 Geoffrey, you can't let something like this 328 00:18:50,039 --> 00:18:51,119 come between us. 329 00:18:51,140 --> 00:18:53,250 Look, I want you to leave. 330 00:18:53,269 --> 00:18:57,230 I finally found a position where I'm respected and appreciated. 331 00:18:57,250 --> 00:19:01,250 Geoffrey, the urinals need mints. Move it. 332 00:19:04,089 --> 00:19:06,259 Inside joke. You wouldn't understand. 333 00:19:08,289 --> 00:19:11,230 Look, I don't think it's going to work, Will. 334 00:19:11,250 --> 00:19:13,099 Keep hope alive. 335 00:19:17,029 --> 00:19:18,130 Yay, my man! 336 00:19:18,150 --> 00:19:20,170 Look, check it out, me and my partner, here 337 00:19:20,190 --> 00:19:23,069 we need a table preferably by the window. Now. 338 00:19:23,089 --> 00:19:26,079 - Who are you? - Who am I? 339 00:19:26,099 --> 00:19:27,210 You hear him? Who am I? 340 00:19:27,230 --> 00:19:31,099 I'm a black man with a short fuse. 341 00:19:31,119 --> 00:19:35,099 Geoffrey, show them to the table. 342 00:19:35,119 --> 00:19:37,170 Show us to the table. 343 00:19:40,019 --> 00:19:44,150 - Eat fast and get out. - We're not leaving without you. 344 00:19:44,170 --> 00:19:47,220 Look, G, come on, everybody misses you. 345 00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:51,170 Well, get used to it. I can't go back. 346 00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:52,230 You humiliated me. 347 00:19:52,250 --> 00:19:54,279 Geoffrey, we've all been humiliated. 348 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:56,190 Yeah, how do you think Carlton feels 349 00:19:56,210 --> 00:19:58,220 when he changes into his gym shorts? 350 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,259 That's a very small humiliation. 351 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:06,029 Hey, what's that supposed to mean? 352 00:20:06,049 --> 00:20:07,039 [bell dings] 353 00:20:07,059 --> 00:20:08,200 Yoo-hoo, waiter. 354 00:20:08,220 --> 00:20:09,250 If I don't get something to drink soon 355 00:20:09,269 --> 00:20:11,160 I'm gonna die. 356 00:20:11,180 --> 00:20:13,190 You promise? 357 00:20:15,119 --> 00:20:17,079 Will, I don't think he's gonna come with us. 358 00:20:17,099 --> 00:20:20,099 Ah, don't worry, baby. Plan B. 359 00:20:25,109 --> 00:20:27,130 Say, miss, check it out, look me and my partner 360 00:20:27,150 --> 00:20:29,029 can't afford nothing on this menu. 361 00:20:29,049 --> 00:20:32,160 Probably, a Vaseline and salt sandwich if they had one. 362 00:20:32,180 --> 00:20:34,039 Check it out, I'll give you $5 for that salad. 363 00:20:34,059 --> 00:20:35,259 - What? - Alright, $6.50. 364 00:20:35,279 --> 00:20:38,009 Wait, check it out, $7 for just the lettuce. 365 00:20:38,029 --> 00:20:39,220 Well, I never.. 366 00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:43,250 All this money he paying for this food, girl, you better. 367 00:20:43,269 --> 00:20:49,039 - What's up? What's up? What? - I'm so sorry. 368 00:20:49,059 --> 00:20:50,210 You're embarrassing me. 369 00:20:50,230 --> 00:20:53,029 Well, you know what you have to do to get rid of us. 370 00:20:53,049 --> 00:20:57,069 I know you're trying to get me fired but it won't work. 371 00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:59,049 Just leave. 372 00:20:59,069 --> 00:21:00,140 Oh, my God! 373 00:21:02,059 --> 00:21:05,019 What, are you blind? Your table's on fire. Pay attention. 374 00:21:05,039 --> 00:21:08,279 - You idiot! - What is going on here? 375 00:21:11,029 --> 00:21:12,230 Should I tell him? 376 00:21:12,250 --> 00:21:14,250 Or do you want to, dad? 377 00:21:16,069 --> 00:21:19,069 - This is your son? - Of course not. 378 00:21:19,089 --> 00:21:22,130 Is it our fault you never married mom? 379 00:21:25,039 --> 00:21:27,250 I know she embarrassed you. 380 00:21:27,269 --> 00:21:28,289 She only had one arm 381 00:21:29,009 --> 00:21:30,049 and when you would go to concerts 382 00:21:30,069 --> 00:21:32,049 she clapped like this. 383 00:21:38,269 --> 00:21:41,059 Surely, you don't believe this. 384 00:21:41,079 --> 00:21:44,109 Daddy, you're ashamed of us? 385 00:21:47,029 --> 00:21:49,240 This is my brother, Carlton. 386 00:21:49,259 --> 00:21:51,279 He knows we can't afford any bigger clothes 387 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:54,089 so he just doesn't grow. 388 00:21:58,230 --> 00:22:01,160 Daddy, I want to grow. 389 00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:07,049 He's never even been on a roller coaster for God's sakes. 390 00:22:09,250 --> 00:22:12,190 You two are really something. 391 00:22:13,190 --> 00:22:16,000 Something good or something bad? 392 00:22:16,019 --> 00:22:20,119 I can't believe you'd go through all this to get me back. 393 00:22:20,140 --> 00:22:22,140 We miss you. 394 00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:24,170 We love you, dad. 395 00:22:27,269 --> 00:22:31,240 Alright. I'll come back home. 396 00:22:33,039 --> 00:22:36,170 Daddy's coming home. Thank you, daddy. 397 00:22:36,190 --> 00:22:40,170 Thank you. Daddy's coming. Thank you. Daddy's coming home. 398 00:22:47,069 --> 00:22:49,160 [scatting] 399 00:23:02,119 --> 00:23:04,109 You so crazy. 400 00:23:07,220 --> 00:23:09,170 'I'm crazy about you, girl.'