1 00:00:01,199 --> 00:00:03,209 [instrumental music] 2 00:00:05,209 --> 00:00:08,099 Well, well, I pressed 180 today. 3 00:00:10,089 --> 00:00:12,230 Eat your heart out. 4 00:00:12,250 --> 00:00:15,179 ♪ Dum dum ♪ 5 00:00:15,199 --> 00:00:19,149 ♪ Dum da-dum ♪ 6 00:00:19,170 --> 00:00:21,199 ♪ Da-dum da-dum da-dum da-dum ♪ 7 00:00:21,219 --> 00:00:24,089 ♪ Da-dum da-dum da-dum ♪♪ 8 00:00:24,109 --> 00:00:26,190 Way to go, Arnold Schwartzenegro. 9 00:00:26,210 --> 00:00:29,039 You know, I've had it up to here with you right now. 10 00:00:29,059 --> 00:00:30,250 Me and you, mano y mano.Let's go. 11 00:00:30,269 --> 00:00:33,020 - Come on. - You're on. 12 00:00:33,039 --> 00:00:35,060 Go. 13 00:00:35,079 --> 00:00:37,149 [groans] 14 00:00:37,170 --> 00:00:39,289 [screaming] 15 00:00:40,009 --> 00:00:41,250 [theme song] 16 00:00:41,270 --> 00:00:44,030 ♪ Now this is a story all about how ♪ 17 00:00:44,049 --> 00:00:46,159 ♪ My life got flipped turned upside-down ♪ 18 00:00:46,179 --> 00:00:48,259 ♪ And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there ♪ 19 00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:50,060 ♪ I'll tell you how I became the prince ♪ 20 00:00:50,079 --> 00:00:52,140 ♪ Of a town called Bel-Air ♪ 21 00:01:00,210 --> 00:01:03,090 ♪ In West Philadelphia born and raised ♪ 22 00:01:03,109 --> 00:01:05,260 ♪ On the playground is where I spent most of my days ♪ 23 00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:07,269 ♪ Chillin' out maxin' relaxing all cool ♪ 24 00:01:07,290 --> 00:01:10,150 ♪ And all shootin' some b-ball outside of the school ♪ 25 00:01:10,170 --> 00:01:13,039 ♪ When a couple of guys who were up to no good ♪ 26 00:01:13,060 --> 00:01:15,010 ♪ Started makin' trouble in my neighborhood ♪ 27 00:01:15,030 --> 00:01:17,120 ♪ I got in one little fight and my mom got scared and said ♪ 28 00:01:17,140 --> 00:01:20,039 ♪ You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air ♪ 29 00:01:20,060 --> 00:01:22,049 ♪ I whistled for a cab and when it came near ♪ 30 00:01:22,069 --> 00:01:24,250 ♪ The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror ♪ 31 00:01:24,269 --> 00:01:27,019 ♪ If anything I can say that this cab was rare ♪ 32 00:01:27,039 --> 00:01:30,269 ♪ But I thought nah forget it yo homes to Bel-Air ♪ 33 00:01:30,289 --> 00:01:34,000 ♪ I pulled up to a house about seven or eight ♪ 34 00:01:34,020 --> 00:01:36,219 ♪ And I yelled to the cabby yo homes smell you later ♪ 35 00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:39,020 ♪ I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there ♪ 36 00:01:39,039 --> 00:01:41,289 ♪ To sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air ♪ 37 00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:51,079 [instrumental music] 38 00:01:54,039 --> 00:01:55,229 Come on, Carlton, you can't keep moping around 39 00:01:55,250 --> 00:01:57,030 like this forever. 40 00:01:57,049 --> 00:01:58,219 I mean, it's not like you and Paula just 41 00:01:58,240 --> 00:02:00,069 broke up yesterday, man. 42 00:02:00,090 --> 00:02:02,250 You've had the whole weekend to get over it. 43 00:02:02,269 --> 00:02:05,120 Will, sometimes you're so insensitive. 44 00:02:05,140 --> 00:02:08,090 Love isn't something you can just turn on and off. 45 00:02:08,110 --> 00:02:10,120 Carlton, I still think you're blowing this whole thing 46 00:02:10,139 --> 00:02:11,219 out of proportion, man. 47 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:13,169 Now, I've seen Paula, and.. 48 00:02:13,189 --> 00:02:16,009 ...I don't see what the attraction was. 49 00:02:16,030 --> 00:02:17,240 What are you talking about? 50 00:02:17,259 --> 00:02:21,030 She's a beautiful, intelligent girl with a dynamite body. 51 00:02:21,050 --> 00:02:23,289 Oh, yeah, I know. I don't see what attracted her to you. 52 00:02:25,259 --> 00:02:27,079 These are jokes, man. Come on, you gotta loosen up. 53 00:02:27,099 --> 00:02:29,099 You gotta have some fun, you got to do something 54 00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:31,280 or go someplace that gets her off your mind. 55 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:33,090 It's impossible. 56 00:02:33,110 --> 00:02:34,270 Everywhere I turn I see something 57 00:02:34,289 --> 00:02:36,060 that reminds me of her 58 00:02:36,079 --> 00:02:37,110 something we've shared together. 59 00:02:37,129 --> 00:02:40,039 A-a patch of grass, a, a beach blanket 60 00:02:40,060 --> 00:02:42,270 a swing. 61 00:02:42,289 --> 00:02:45,219 Maybe you should go to bed. 62 00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:48,030 Vivian, why are you making a big deal about this? 63 00:02:48,050 --> 00:02:50,139 I say we do it right here, right now. 64 00:02:50,159 --> 00:02:53,009 Oh, good, a floor show. 65 00:02:55,060 --> 00:02:58,039 Geoffrey, this envelope contains Mrs. Banks' sonogram. 66 00:02:58,060 --> 00:03:00,189 It's gonna tell us whether the baby's a boy or a girl. 67 00:03:00,210 --> 00:03:03,090 How can you tell if it's a boy or girl? 68 00:03:03,110 --> 00:03:05,240 Oh, Ashley, you are so naive. 69 00:03:05,259 --> 00:03:07,280 If it's a boy, it's blue. 70 00:03:11,090 --> 00:03:15,210 Come on, I think it's time for another woman-to-woman talk. 71 00:03:15,229 --> 00:03:18,110 Okay, what do you wanna know this time? 72 00:03:20,110 --> 00:03:23,240 Hilary's not planning on having kids, is she? 73 00:03:23,259 --> 00:03:26,000 Philip, I'm not looking at this sonogram. 74 00:03:26,020 --> 00:03:28,060 It'll take away the excitement in the delivery room. 75 00:03:28,079 --> 00:03:30,199 Honey, half the thrill is finding out. 76 00:03:30,219 --> 00:03:33,090 Alright, then it's settled. We don't wanna know. 77 00:03:33,110 --> 00:03:35,090 Of course, in the delivery room 78 00:03:35,110 --> 00:03:37,000 I'm gonna be too busy screaming. 79 00:03:37,020 --> 00:03:39,189 Okay, I wanna know. No, I don't. 80 00:03:39,210 --> 00:03:41,129 Yes, I do. 81 00:03:41,150 --> 00:03:42,250 Now, this is exactly why the doctor 82 00:03:42,270 --> 00:03:44,259 changed his number on us, Vivian. 83 00:03:46,150 --> 00:03:49,180 Now for the last time, do you wanna know or don't you? 84 00:03:49,199 --> 00:03:51,129 No. 85 00:03:51,150 --> 00:03:54,060 Fine, then I'll take the envelope. 86 00:03:54,079 --> 00:03:57,139 I'm not gonna open it. I promise. Trust me. 87 00:03:57,159 --> 00:03:59,259 Tch, tch. Aunt Viv, I don't think so. 88 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:01,240 See, this is the same dude that said a squirrel 89 00:04:01,259 --> 00:04:03,289 ate that six-pack of milky ways. 90 00:04:05,219 --> 00:04:08,210 I think Geoffrey should hold onto it. 91 00:04:08,229 --> 00:04:11,259 - Fine, and don't give it to us. - No matter how much we insist. 92 00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:14,169 - Got it? - I think I can handle that. 93 00:04:14,189 --> 00:04:17,139 I got dressed all by myself this morning. 94 00:04:19,029 --> 00:04:20,149 I feel good about this, Philip. 95 00:04:20,170 --> 00:04:22,089 I think we're doing the right thing, don't you? 96 00:04:22,110 --> 00:04:25,069 Yes, I agree, baby. We're doing the right thing. 97 00:04:25,089 --> 00:04:28,100 - Um, um, Unc-Uncle Phil? - Hmm? 98 00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:30,069 Eh, c-can I talk to you for a second? 99 00:04:30,089 --> 00:04:32,040 Yeah, sure, Will. What is it? 100 00:04:32,060 --> 00:04:34,060 Um.. 101 00:04:34,079 --> 00:04:36,079 Look, a-a friend of mine has a little problem 102 00:04:36,100 --> 00:04:38,100 and, you know, I was wondering since you a judge-- 103 00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:40,129 I am not reducing bail. 104 00:04:40,149 --> 00:04:43,220 No, Uncle Phil. No, see that's.. See, check it out. 105 00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:45,149 Now, this friend of mine 106 00:04:45,170 --> 00:04:48,129 knows this squaw that he's completely in love with, right. 107 00:04:48,149 --> 00:04:52,029 But this particular squaw just broke up with his best friend. 108 00:04:52,050 --> 00:04:55,029 Now he don't wanna dis his boy or nothing like that, right. 109 00:04:55,050 --> 00:04:59,060 But he wants to know how long is a good time to wait 110 00:04:59,079 --> 00:05:01,180 before he, uh, raids this squaw's village. 111 00:05:01,199 --> 00:05:03,139 - You know what I'm saying? - Oh. 112 00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:05,029 Interesting you should bring that up. 113 00:05:05,050 --> 00:05:07,129 I had a case like that come before me just recently. 114 00:05:07,149 --> 00:05:09,250 - Really? - Word up. 115 00:05:13,100 --> 00:05:16,029 Now, this guy started going out with his best friend's girl 116 00:05:16,050 --> 00:05:17,180 hours after they broke up. 117 00:05:17,199 --> 00:05:19,089 Whoa. He waited that long? 118 00:05:19,110 --> 00:05:21,009 Well, this other guy didn't think it was that long. 119 00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:23,129 He was very jealous and he shot his friend. 120 00:05:24,269 --> 00:05:27,009 - Dead? - No. 121 00:05:27,029 --> 00:05:31,009 Let's just say he's, uh, two olives short of a martini. 122 00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:35,110 Ooh. 123 00:05:35,129 --> 00:05:38,090 So before your friend starts raiding any villages 124 00:05:38,110 --> 00:05:40,159 he better be sure it's worth it. 125 00:05:41,290 --> 00:05:43,290 [instrumental music] 126 00:05:44,009 --> 00:05:47,029 Hey, Paula, how are you doing? It's Will. 127 00:05:47,050 --> 00:05:50,149 Um, look, a-about our date tonight.. 128 00:05:53,220 --> 00:05:56,220 I'll rock your world. 129 00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:58,290 [instrumental music] 130 00:06:02,250 --> 00:06:05,230 Psst! Geoffrey, is Mrs. Banks around? 131 00:06:05,250 --> 00:06:07,209 - I believe-- - Shh! Shh! 132 00:06:09,209 --> 00:06:11,220 I believe she's in the study. 133 00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:14,149 - Shall I get her? - No. 134 00:06:14,170 --> 00:06:17,100 No. You do too much running around as it is. 135 00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:18,240 I hate having you run and do everything. 136 00:06:18,259 --> 00:06:20,199 Mr. Banks have you been drinking? 137 00:06:20,220 --> 00:06:22,050 Of course not. 138 00:06:22,069 --> 00:06:23,129 You know and I'd feel a lot better 139 00:06:23,149 --> 00:06:25,029 if you started calling me Phil. 140 00:06:25,050 --> 00:06:26,290 And I'd feel a lot better if you'd wash 141 00:06:27,009 --> 00:06:29,189 your own underthings, Phil. 142 00:06:29,209 --> 00:06:31,149 [chuckles] 143 00:06:31,170 --> 00:06:34,290 Look, Geoffrey, now, I know Mrs. Banks and I 144 00:06:35,009 --> 00:06:37,139 made you promise not to show us that sonogram but, look 145 00:06:37,159 --> 00:06:39,139 I've got to know whether the baby is a boy or girl 146 00:06:39,159 --> 00:06:42,060 and I can make it worth your while. 147 00:06:43,230 --> 00:06:45,100 How does 100 bucks sound? 148 00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:48,009 Like one hell of a night in Tijuana. 149 00:06:48,029 --> 00:06:52,009 Philip Banks, you really should be ashamed of yourself 150 00:06:52,029 --> 00:06:54,050 bribing Geoffrey with $100. 151 00:06:54,069 --> 00:06:58,120 I'll say. At least she offered me 200. 152 00:07:00,029 --> 00:07:01,129 [telephone rings] 153 00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:06,000 Hello. Oh, hi, Paula. Carlton's not here. 154 00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:09,230 Oh, well, who did you wanna talk to? 155 00:07:12,029 --> 00:07:13,279 Just a second. 156 00:07:19,019 --> 00:07:20,160 It's for you. 157 00:07:20,180 --> 00:07:24,069 It's Paula, as in Carlton's ex-girlfriend Paula. 158 00:07:25,149 --> 00:07:26,279 Gee. 159 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:29,050 I wonder why she want to talk to me? 160 00:07:30,170 --> 00:07:33,019 Maybe I should just find out. 161 00:07:39,189 --> 00:07:41,209 Hey, Paula, how you doing? 162 00:07:41,230 --> 00:07:44,269 Hey, I'm really looking forward to tonight so-so we can.. 163 00:07:48,050 --> 00:07:50,209 w-work on some homework. 164 00:07:50,230 --> 00:07:53,259 Yeah, you should probably get some rest, uh 165 00:07:53,279 --> 00:07:55,290 we might have to pull a all-nighter. 166 00:07:57,230 --> 00:07:59,139 Talk to you later. 167 00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:04,189 Will, dating Carlton's ex behind his back isn't nice. 168 00:08:04,209 --> 00:08:06,139 Ashley's right, if Carlton finds out 169 00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:08,220 he may never speak to you again. 170 00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:11,029 Maybe you're on to something. 171 00:08:11,050 --> 00:08:12,180 H-hold up. First, look. 172 00:08:12,199 --> 00:08:14,189 Number one, Carlton is not even dating 173 00:08:14,209 --> 00:08:15,259 this girl no more, okay. 174 00:08:15,279 --> 00:08:17,089 Number two, I ain't seen no rings 175 00:08:17,110 --> 00:08:19,170 on her fingers, okay. 176 00:08:19,189 --> 00:08:22,250 And number three Denise got it going on. 177 00:08:22,269 --> 00:08:24,250 - Paula. - Ooh, you're right. 178 00:08:24,269 --> 00:08:26,250 I hope that doesn't happen tonight. 179 00:08:29,220 --> 00:08:32,000 Boy, that Paula's really bad news. 180 00:08:32,019 --> 00:08:35,149 First she dumps me, now you know what she did? 181 00:08:35,169 --> 00:08:38,169 No. Hmm, Will, do you know? 182 00:08:40,139 --> 00:08:42,080 [mumbling] Nah, I don't know nothing. 183 00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:45,149 I'm just a poor black man trying to make it in Bel-Air. 184 00:08:47,190 --> 00:08:49,169 She gave me the flu. 185 00:08:51,100 --> 00:08:53,169 Wait. Come on. Look on the bright side, Carlton. 186 00:08:53,190 --> 00:08:55,230 Most girls don't give you nothing. 187 00:08:56,279 --> 00:08:58,149 Hi, baby. How was school? 188 00:08:58,169 --> 00:09:02,100 Mommy, I don't feel so good. I think I got the flu. 189 00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:05,279 Oh, that's too bad, baby. Get out of the house. 190 00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:08,179 You know, we're getting more and more 191 00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:10,159 like the Jackson family every day. 192 00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:13,159 Sweetheart, you know I love you, but being pregnant 193 00:09:13,179 --> 00:09:15,279 I cannot take a chance of getting sick now. Now, shoo. 194 00:09:17,049 --> 00:09:18,070 But where will I go? 195 00:09:18,090 --> 00:09:19,149 Well, I guess, you'll have to move 196 00:09:19,169 --> 00:09:20,250 into the pool house. 197 00:09:20,269 --> 00:09:22,100 The pool house? 198 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:23,250 Daddy, I live in the pool house. 199 00:09:23,269 --> 00:09:25,259 And there's no way I'm giving it up for Carlton. 200 00:09:25,279 --> 00:09:28,070 You wanna start paying rent? 201 00:09:28,090 --> 00:09:31,039 I can be out in an hour. 202 00:09:31,059 --> 00:09:33,230 [instrumental music] 203 00:09:35,190 --> 00:09:37,110 Will, I'm not through with you. 204 00:09:37,129 --> 00:09:39,080 What you're doing is despicable. 205 00:09:39,100 --> 00:09:41,039 And what you're doing is annoying. 206 00:09:41,059 --> 00:09:43,149 Leave me alone. 207 00:09:43,169 --> 00:09:45,179 - Ah-choo! -Gesundheit. 208 00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:48,009 Will, just a week ago she was Carlton's girlfriend. 209 00:09:48,029 --> 00:09:49,259 Doesn't that mean anything to you? 210 00:09:49,279 --> 00:09:52,169 Yes, Ashley. It means she's having a better week. 211 00:09:54,279 --> 00:09:56,210 Well, Carlton's gonna put two and two together. 212 00:09:56,230 --> 00:09:59,070 First, Paula had the flu, then Carlton had the flu 213 00:09:59,090 --> 00:10:01,000 and now you have the flu. 214 00:10:01,019 --> 00:10:03,250 Ashley, I think you're giving Carlton too much credit. 215 00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:05,149 I mean, come on, he thinks "X"is the movie 216 00:10:05,169 --> 00:10:08,259 about Malcolm Jamaal Warner's fight for freedom. 217 00:10:11,049 --> 00:10:15,149 Very funny, guys. Why don't you stop spinning? 218 00:10:15,169 --> 00:10:18,080 And who moved the refrigerator all the way over there? 219 00:10:19,129 --> 00:10:21,289 How are you feeling, Carlton? 220 00:10:22,009 --> 00:10:24,220 Remember the "Star Trek" where the insect bored his way 221 00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:26,159 through the guy's brain? 222 00:10:26,179 --> 00:10:27,179 Yeah. 223 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:29,200 That'd feel kinda good right now. 224 00:10:33,250 --> 00:10:35,139 Ah-choo! 225 00:10:38,289 --> 00:10:40,230 Okay, Will, I'm on to you. 226 00:10:40,250 --> 00:10:43,039 Hey, look, Carl, man, I've no idea what you talking about. 227 00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:46,169 I'm not stupid, Will. I mean, it's all coming together. 228 00:10:46,190 --> 00:10:48,169 The runny nose, the watery eyes. 229 00:10:48,190 --> 00:10:50,279 You just couldn't keep your hands to yourself. 230 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:53,090 Look, look, Carlton, now, I know you sick. 231 00:10:53,110 --> 00:10:54,190 You probably a little delirious. 232 00:10:54,210 --> 00:10:56,039 You probably had one too many of them 233 00:10:56,059 --> 00:10:58,009 children's aspirins or something. 234 00:10:58,029 --> 00:11:00,120 That piece was mine. 235 00:11:00,139 --> 00:11:02,259 You ain't got to get all nasty. 236 00:11:04,179 --> 00:11:06,210 Well, you shouldn't have done it, Will. 237 00:11:06,230 --> 00:11:08,190 I know, I know, Carlton. I'm-I'm sorry, man. 238 00:11:08,210 --> 00:11:10,080 I should.. I shouldn't have taken Paula out. 239 00:11:10,100 --> 00:11:11,200 You're right, man, but she was coming onto me. 240 00:11:11,220 --> 00:11:14,090 - I couldn't resist, man. - Paula? 241 00:11:14,110 --> 00:11:17,090 I was talking about that last piece of cheesecake. 242 00:11:20,110 --> 00:11:22,190 Yeah, s-so was I, so was I. 243 00:11:22,210 --> 00:11:24,100 [stammering] No. See, you don't know about it. 244 00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:26,240 You ain't hip to it, right. In Philly, we name our food, right? 245 00:11:26,259 --> 00:11:29,250 See, like-like cheesecake is Paula, right? 246 00:11:29,269 --> 00:11:33,190 And, um, a-a snack pack i-i-is Boomsheeka. 247 00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:44,019 I can't see him, you can. Is he buying it? 248 00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:50,009 You backstabbing girlfriend-stealing 249 00:11:50,029 --> 00:11:51,139 piece of rubbish. 250 00:11:51,159 --> 00:11:54,139 Did you really expect me to believe you name your food? 251 00:11:54,159 --> 00:11:56,149 Hey, look, Carlton, I'm telling you, man 252 00:11:56,169 --> 00:11:58,049 it ain't how it seems, man. 253 00:11:58,070 --> 00:12:01,139 Then you didn't go out with my girlfriend behind my back? 254 00:12:01,159 --> 00:12:04,049 Okay, it's exactly how it seems. 255 00:12:04,070 --> 00:12:07,009 But, hey, look, man, I didn't do it for me. 256 00:12:07,029 --> 00:12:10,080 I did it to for you, I did it to save you.. 257 00:12:10,100 --> 00:12:13,100 ...f-from something terrible. 258 00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:16,080 As soon as I figure it out, I'll let you know what it is. 259 00:12:16,100 --> 00:12:18,070 Every time you've tried to hurt me 260 00:12:18,090 --> 00:12:20,000 I've turned the other cheek. 261 00:12:20,019 --> 00:12:21,139 Well, I've run out of cheeks. 262 00:12:21,159 --> 00:12:23,009 Carl, man, what are you tryin' to say? 263 00:12:23,029 --> 00:12:26,059 I'm trying to say that I can't trust you anymore. 264 00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:29,169 That we're no longer family, we're through. Fini,it's over. 265 00:12:29,190 --> 00:12:33,070 Look, Carlton, y-you don't mean that. You'll get over it. 266 00:12:33,090 --> 00:12:34,220 Oh, yeah? 267 00:12:37,230 --> 00:12:40,220 - Carlton, who are you calling? - Your mother. 268 00:12:42,269 --> 00:12:45,269 I know he ain't calling my mother. 269 00:12:45,289 --> 00:12:48,269 Aunt Vy, it's Carlton. Call me when you get home. 270 00:12:48,289 --> 00:12:50,120 No, mom, don't call him! 271 00:12:50,139 --> 00:12:52,070 I wanna tell you, how much I hate Will's guts! 272 00:12:52,090 --> 00:12:53,230 He's lying, mom! He loves me! 273 00:12:53,250 --> 00:12:56,059 No, I don't! Your little slimer has stolen my girl! 274 00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:58,049 Mom, you know Carlton never had no girl! 275 00:12:58,070 --> 00:12:59,210 Well, I'm glad you're out having fun. 276 00:12:59,230 --> 00:13:01,009 'Cause I have to stay here 277 00:13:01,029 --> 00:13:02,230 'cause God only knows what he'll steal. 278 00:13:02,250 --> 00:13:05,129 Give me the phone. Get off! 279 00:13:05,149 --> 00:13:07,200 Hey, mom, thanks for the sweater. Love you. 280 00:13:11,090 --> 00:13:14,110 You've gone over the line, okay? 281 00:13:14,129 --> 00:13:17,269 You don't never call a dude's mom. 282 00:13:17,289 --> 00:13:19,269 Oh, so it's okay to steal a guy's girlfriend 283 00:13:19,289 --> 00:13:22,009 as long as you don't go tell his mommy about it. 284 00:13:22,029 --> 00:13:24,039 No, no, this is serious, man. 285 00:13:24,059 --> 00:13:26,240 Even in ancient times, they would kill your cattle 286 00:13:26,259 --> 00:13:29,129 they would burn your village, and they'd stone your family 287 00:13:29,149 --> 00:13:31,279 but they wouldn't never tell your mother, man. 288 00:13:33,149 --> 00:13:35,190 [imitating will] But I-I did it to save you 289 00:13:35,210 --> 00:13:38,029 from, uh, something you'll know. 290 00:13:38,049 --> 00:13:42,070 A-as soon as I figure it out, I'll let you know. 291 00:13:44,289 --> 00:13:48,009 That's it! We're gonna have to take this to the street, man! 292 00:13:48,029 --> 00:13:49,210 Aunt Viv! 293 00:13:51,289 --> 00:13:54,149 [instrumental music] 294 00:14:00,210 --> 00:14:02,059 [sighs] 295 00:14:04,009 --> 00:14:06,269 Now, listen, as long as you're staying in my home 296 00:14:06,289 --> 00:14:08,120 you've to play by my rules. 297 00:14:08,139 --> 00:14:10,289 No crumbs on the carpet, no hair in the sink 298 00:14:11,009 --> 00:14:15,019 and no dressing up in my clothes, Carlton. 299 00:14:15,039 --> 00:14:16,110 It was Halloween. 300 00:14:16,129 --> 00:14:18,269 You still haven't returned my bustier. 301 00:14:24,269 --> 00:14:26,039 What are you doing here? 302 00:14:26,059 --> 00:14:28,039 Look, man, I don't wanna be here, but I'm sick 303 00:14:28,059 --> 00:14:29,279 and Aunt Viv won't let me stay in the house. 304 00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:32,210 I think you have everything you need. 305 00:14:32,230 --> 00:14:35,049 And now if you'll excuse me 306 00:14:35,070 --> 00:14:36,240 I'm going to spend a quiet evening 307 00:14:36,259 --> 00:14:40,080 with my radio and Madonna. 308 00:14:40,100 --> 00:14:42,210 Look like you spending the evening with Little Richard. 309 00:14:48,029 --> 00:14:51,000 I don't care what mom says. You're not stayin' here. 310 00:14:51,019 --> 00:14:53,000 Why don't you go stay with Paula? 311 00:14:53,019 --> 00:14:54,289 She asked. Her parents wouldn't let me. 312 00:14:55,009 --> 00:14:58,230 She has parents? She never introduced me to her parents. 313 00:14:58,250 --> 00:15:01,070 She told me they were dead. 314 00:15:01,090 --> 00:15:03,200 Oh, I really, really hate you! 315 00:15:03,220 --> 00:15:06,190 I hate you, too. Just get out of my bed! 316 00:15:08,090 --> 00:15:11,049 Oh, man, nice, firm mattress 317 00:15:11,070 --> 00:15:13,059 just like the one at Paula's house. 318 00:15:15,139 --> 00:15:18,049 First you steal my woman, and now you steal my bed. 319 00:15:18,070 --> 00:15:20,210 Look, man, let's get something straight right now. 320 00:15:20,230 --> 00:15:23,110 I didn't steal your woman. 321 00:15:23,129 --> 00:15:26,059 I rescued her, and she thanked me 322 00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:28,179 over and over and over.. 323 00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:30,240 ♪ Raindrops keep fallin' on my head ♪ 324 00:15:30,259 --> 00:15:33,000 ♪ Just like a guy whose feet are too.. ♪ 325 00:15:33,019 --> 00:15:34,169 Alright, alright, stop singing! 326 00:15:34,190 --> 00:15:36,169 Over and over and over! 327 00:15:36,190 --> 00:15:38,000 Why don't you act like an adult? 328 00:15:38,019 --> 00:15:41,000 Why don't you look like one? 329 00:15:41,019 --> 00:15:43,090 Well, obviously there's no reasoning with you. 330 00:15:43,110 --> 00:15:44,259 Look, you just stay on your side of the room 331 00:15:44,279 --> 00:15:45,269 and I'll stay on mine. 332 00:15:45,289 --> 00:15:48,120 Fine! This is my side of the room. 333 00:15:49,179 --> 00:15:51,220 Hey, that's not fair! 334 00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:53,210 Guess I'll watch a little TV 335 00:15:53,230 --> 00:15:56,090 seeing as how it's on my side of the room. 336 00:15:58,039 --> 00:16:00,000 Yo, where's the remote? 337 00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:03,120 On my side of the room. 338 00:16:03,139 --> 00:16:06,200 - Well, toss it here. - Whatever you say. 339 00:16:09,159 --> 00:16:11,090 [splash] 340 00:16:15,009 --> 00:16:17,149 Go get it! 341 00:16:19,059 --> 00:16:21,009 Make me. 342 00:16:21,029 --> 00:16:23,049 [grunting] 343 00:16:31,049 --> 00:16:32,159 I cut my eye! 344 00:16:32,179 --> 00:16:33,169 [whining] 345 00:16:33,190 --> 00:16:36,190 - Will, you okay? - Hyah! 346 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:39,279 [instrumental music] 347 00:16:42,009 --> 00:16:44,000 Thank you for giving me the night off. 348 00:16:44,019 --> 00:16:45,179 Oh, can I get you anything else? 349 00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:48,230 No, get out of here, you knucklehead. 350 00:16:48,250 --> 00:16:51,070 [laughing] 351 00:16:51,090 --> 00:16:52,259 Goodnight. 352 00:16:54,070 --> 00:16:57,070 - Philip, I want that sonogram! - Yes! 353 00:16:59,009 --> 00:17:01,090 - There's nothing here or here. - It's gotta be here! 354 00:17:01,110 --> 00:17:02,200 We've searched the whole house, Vivian. 355 00:17:02,220 --> 00:17:04,049 Oh, what if he's got it on him? 356 00:17:04,069 --> 00:17:06,279 - Ah! Found it! - You found the sonogram? 357 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:08,279 No, it's that little chocolate bunny from Easter. 358 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,230 I've been looking all over for it. 359 00:17:10,250 --> 00:17:13,190 Philip, honey, at least take off the foil. 360 00:17:15,079 --> 00:17:17,259 [instrumental music] 361 00:17:25,109 --> 00:17:30,039 - Oh, my head is killing me. - My throat hurts. 362 00:17:30,059 --> 00:17:31,160 [phone ringing] 363 00:17:31,180 --> 00:17:33,049 [groans] 364 00:17:33,069 --> 00:17:36,210 - Now my ears are ringing. - Mine, too. 365 00:17:36,230 --> 00:17:38,130 (Hilary on automated machine) 'Hi, this is Hilary.' 366 00:17:38,150 --> 00:17:41,099 'Roses are red, violets are blue' 367 00:17:41,119 --> 00:17:43,289 I'm not in so.. 368 00:17:44,009 --> 00:17:45,289 So-so leave a, um.. 369 00:17:46,009 --> 00:17:47,150 [phone beeps] 370 00:17:50,119 --> 00:17:54,089 (Paula on phone) 'Hi, honey, it's Paula. I just heard you're sick.' 371 00:17:54,109 --> 00:17:58,069 'Oh, my poor little baby. This is all my fault, isn't it?' 372 00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:04,170 - It's for me, man. - No, it's not, it's for me. 373 00:18:04,190 --> 00:18:07,069 (Paula on phone) 'I wish I could be there with you.' 374 00:18:07,089 --> 00:18:09,269 'I bet I know how to make you feel better.' 375 00:18:09,289 --> 00:18:12,170 'First I'd nibble on your left ear.' 376 00:18:12,190 --> 00:18:15,170 'Then I'd bite you on your neck.' 377 00:18:15,190 --> 00:18:19,140 'Then I'd.. Oops! There's my other line.' 378 00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:23,200 Hello? 379 00:18:26,019 --> 00:18:27,119 Now look what you did, you idiot. 380 00:18:27,140 --> 00:18:28,220 You made me miss her call. 381 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:31,230 That wasn't for you. It was for me. 382 00:18:31,250 --> 00:18:34,079 Carlton, give it up, man. She dumped you. 383 00:18:34,099 --> 00:18:37,279 You're like Prince Charles. You've got the royal flush. 384 00:18:39,089 --> 00:18:41,130 Oh, I'm gonna beat your butt. 385 00:18:41,150 --> 00:18:42,250 Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? 386 00:18:42,269 --> 00:18:44,160 Jump up and bang your head against it? 387 00:18:44,180 --> 00:18:47,269 - Come on. Put your dukes up. - Come on, boy. 388 00:18:53,289 --> 00:18:56,200 And there's more where that came from.. 389 00:18:59,289 --> 00:19:02,230 ...maybe not. 390 00:19:02,250 --> 00:19:04,099 Hey, Carlton. 391 00:19:06,049 --> 00:19:10,059 I'm gonna do something, that's totally outside my nature 392 00:19:10,079 --> 00:19:13,089 and I'm gonna take Uncle Phil's advice. 393 00:19:13,109 --> 00:19:15,220 You're gonna go play on the freeway? 394 00:19:17,279 --> 00:19:21,170 No, man. I'm-I'm gonna be straight up with you. 395 00:19:21,190 --> 00:19:25,029 I'll tell you everything that happened between me and Paula. 396 00:19:25,049 --> 00:19:28,039 First time you brought her over here, man 397 00:19:28,059 --> 00:19:30,190 I thought she was so fine. 398 00:19:30,210 --> 00:19:33,160 And I-I wanted y'all to break up. 399 00:19:33,180 --> 00:19:37,289 That's very honest, Will, but I'm still mad! 400 00:19:38,009 --> 00:19:40,200 I guess I'll have to live with it. 401 00:19:40,220 --> 00:19:45,069 Wait. Th-there's more. 402 00:19:45,089 --> 00:19:47,220 I told her you had tuberculosis. 403 00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:50,140 - You what? - I-I don't know, man. 404 00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:52,089 It just came to me. I'm sorry, man. 405 00:19:52,109 --> 00:19:54,109 I can't believe you did that! 406 00:19:55,210 --> 00:19:59,279 Well, I'm gonna dig way down, deep inside 407 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:04,130 and maybe in time I'll be able to forgive you. 408 00:20:04,150 --> 00:20:05,230 Wait. 409 00:20:07,019 --> 00:20:09,180 Th-there's more. 410 00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:11,250 I told her about your hand puppet. 411 00:20:11,269 --> 00:20:14,220 You told her about Binky? I'll kill you! 412 00:20:16,230 --> 00:20:18,210 No, I won't. I'm bigger than that. 413 00:20:18,230 --> 00:20:21,210 I guess I'll be honest, too. 414 00:20:21,230 --> 00:20:25,029 You remember when Lateesha suddenly stopped calling you? 415 00:20:25,049 --> 00:20:26,089 Yeah. 416 00:20:26,109 --> 00:20:28,250 Well, I told her you worshipped satan. 417 00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:32,150 [exhales] 418 00:20:32,170 --> 00:20:36,150 A-a-alright, alright, alright. I guess-guess fair is fair. 419 00:20:36,170 --> 00:20:39,000 I'm a man. I can live with that. I can live with that. 420 00:20:39,019 --> 00:20:42,150 Wait. There's more. 421 00:20:42,170 --> 00:20:45,289 You notice how Ashley has been acting very funny 422 00:20:46,009 --> 00:20:47,210 around you lately? 423 00:20:47,230 --> 00:20:49,150 Yeah. 424 00:20:49,170 --> 00:20:52,039 Well, I told her you shave your legs. 425 00:20:54,180 --> 00:20:57,009 - What kind of monster are you? - Sorry, Will. 426 00:20:57,029 --> 00:20:59,099 I was just feeling a little jealous of your relationships. 427 00:20:59,119 --> 00:21:04,099 No, no, that's unforgivable! That's totally unforgivable! 428 00:21:04,119 --> 00:21:06,210 Uh, wait. 429 00:21:06,230 --> 00:21:08,079 There's more. 430 00:21:08,099 --> 00:21:10,210 You-you remember your friend Jazz? 431 00:21:10,230 --> 00:21:13,109 Oh, my God. What did you do with Jazz? 432 00:21:13,130 --> 00:21:17,099 You know that funky smell coming from the basement? 433 00:21:17,119 --> 00:21:21,079 Psych! This honesty thing feels great. 434 00:21:21,099 --> 00:21:23,109 What do you say we tell Geoffrey why his citizenship 435 00:21:23,130 --> 00:21:25,049 never came through? 436 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:30,180 [instrumental music] 437 00:21:33,089 --> 00:21:35,230 Mmm, this smells delicious. 438 00:21:35,250 --> 00:21:38,150 You've really outdone yourself, mom. 439 00:21:38,170 --> 00:21:42,029 - Great oatmeal, mom. - Thank you. 440 00:21:42,049 --> 00:21:44,119 Um, A-Aunt Viv? 441 00:21:44,140 --> 00:21:48,009 I-in keeping with this-this new honesty thing 442 00:21:48,029 --> 00:21:50,079 th-this stuff kind of tastes like drywall 443 00:21:50,099 --> 00:21:52,200 with raisins in it. 444 00:21:52,220 --> 00:21:54,079 [chuckles] 445 00:21:57,180 --> 00:21:59,109 And, Uncle Phil, you know 446 00:21:59,130 --> 00:22:01,009 you really shouldn't wear silk no more 447 00:22:01,029 --> 00:22:03,099 'cause like when big folks wear silk-- 448 00:22:06,099 --> 00:22:09,230 Well, since we're all being honest with each other 449 00:22:09,250 --> 00:22:13,009 I'm bloody sick of the two of you going through my drawers. 450 00:22:13,029 --> 00:22:15,089 Here's your envelope. 451 00:22:15,109 --> 00:22:17,150 I hope you get what you want. 452 00:22:17,170 --> 00:22:20,079 Well, keeping with all this honesty 453 00:22:20,099 --> 00:22:22,049 I really wanna see what we're having. 454 00:22:22,069 --> 00:22:24,230 You mean this isn't oatmeal? 455 00:22:24,250 --> 00:22:26,130 I wanna know, too, Philip. Okay, let's.. 456 00:22:26,150 --> 00:22:28,089 Let's have a look at that sonogram. 457 00:22:28,109 --> 00:22:30,200 - Oh, my God! - What is it? A boy or girl? 458 00:22:30,220 --> 00:22:34,039 This isn't a sonogram. It's a bill for $25,000! 459 00:22:34,059 --> 00:22:37,130 This baby's costing me a fortune! 460 00:22:37,150 --> 00:22:40,160 Congratulations! You're having a Hilary! 461 00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:44,150 [instrumental music] 462 00:22:50,099 --> 00:22:51,150 (Vivian) 'Philip, you found the sonogram?' 463 00:22:51,170 --> 00:22:52,180 No, the little chocolate Easter bunny. 464 00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:54,000 I've been looking at it for.. 465 00:22:55,220 --> 00:22:56,250 You found the sonogram? 466 00:22:56,269 --> 00:22:58,180 No, it's that little Easter chocolate bunny. 467 00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:00,099 I've been looking for.. 468 00:23:02,029 --> 00:23:03,210 - You found the sonogram? - No. 469 00:23:03,230 --> 00:23:05,049 It's that little chocolate bunny from Easter. 470 00:23:05,069 --> 00:23:07,069 I've been looking at it, looking at it all week.. 471 00:23:09,059 --> 00:23:11,160 (Vivian) It's the little chocolate Easter bunny! 472 00:23:14,009 --> 00:23:16,200 [instrumental music]