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[instrumental music]

2
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[Tom Jones singing
"It's Not Unusual"]

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♪ It's not unusual
to be loved by anyone ♪

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♪ It's not unusual
to have fun with anyone ♪

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♪ But when I see you
hangin' around with anyone ♪

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♪ It's not unusual
to see me cry ♪

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♪ I wanna die ♪

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♪ It's not unusual
to go out at any time ♪

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♪ But when I see you
out and about ♪

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♪ It's such a crime ♪

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♪ If you should ever
wanna be loved ♪

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♪ By anyone ♪

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♪ It's not unusual ♪

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♪ It happens every.. ♪♪

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[theme song]

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♪ Now this is a story all about
how ♪

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♪ My life got flipped
turned upside-down ♪

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♪ And I'd like
to take a minute ♪

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♪ Just sit right there
I'll tell you ♪

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♪ How I became the prince
of a town ♪

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♪ Called Bel-Air ♪

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♪ In West Philadelphia,
born and raised ♪

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♪ On the playground is where
I spent most of my days ♪

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♪ Chillin' out maxin'
relaxing all cool ♪

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♪ And all shootin' some b-ball
outside of the school ♪

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♪ When a couple of guys
who were up to no good ♪

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♪ Started makin' trouble
in my neighborhood ♪

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♪ I got in one little fight
and my mom got scared and said ♪

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♪ You're moving with your auntie
and uncle in Bel-Air ♪

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♪ I whistled for a cab ♪
and when it came near ♪

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♪ The license plate said fresh
and it had dice in the mirror ♪

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♪ If anything I can say
that this cab was rare ♪

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♪ But I thought nah forget it
yo homes to Bel-Air ♪

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♪ I pulled up to a house
about seven or eight ♪

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♪ And I yelled to the cabby
yo homes smell you later ♪

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♪ I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there ♪

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♪ To sit on my throne
as the prince of Bel-Air ♪

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[instrumental music]

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I figured it out Will. I'm gonna
get dad what he always wanted.

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What? A pizza hut in the garage.

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Better. I'm gonna clinch
the election by getting

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an influential person
to endorse him.

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Watch and learn.

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[clears throat]

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Hello, is President Bush there?

46
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Carlton...Carlton Banks.

47
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It's personal.

48
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Carlton, are you by any chance
an idiot?

49
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Not available?

50
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Perhaps you should
let George know

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that as alternate assistant
treasurer

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to the Bel-Air
junior republicans

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I'm in a position
to scratch his back

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if he'll scratch mine.
Capisce?

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Hello?

56
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(Will)
'Hey, G, uh,
did you bring the mail in yet?'

57
00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:36,280
No. I've been saving that
genteel pleasure to calm myself.

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Lest I get too giddy
from scrubbing the John.

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You know, you really
need a woman, G.

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What's a woman?

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I'll get the mail.

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- Geoffrey.
- Sir.

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Um, daddy, now you know
how much I love you

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and would do anything
for you, right?

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Alrighty, how much
do you want?

66
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No. I'm talking about..

67
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- Well, $100.
- Mm-hm.

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But I was talking
about the election.

69
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Now, for me to vote for you
and get conscience

70
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I need to know where you
stand
on the issues.

71
00:04:08,020 --> 00:04:10,090
Okay, well, I'm, uh, against
plea-bargaining and--

72
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
but where do you stand

73
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on a woman's right to choose
the restaurant?

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I think we should leave that up
to the supreme court.

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Well, I think you're being
really unreasonable.

76
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Well, tough. I don't care
if it is chaperoned

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you cannot go to Ensenada
with Macauley Culkin.

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Hey, hey! Mail call!

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For you, selfmagazine..

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...shapemagazine

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and sassymagazine.

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And for you, sir,
elf magazine..

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...apemagazine..

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...and sissymagazine.

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And for you, sir,
the bill for self

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the bill for shape
and the bill for sassy magazine.

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Oh, Uncle Phil,
they doggin' you.

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What? Let me see that.

89
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"Defeat Philip Banks

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"the criminal's choice
for superior court judge.

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"Banks wants to
empty the prisons

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"fill our streets
with hoodlums

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"and run a bookmaking operation
out of his chambers.

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Vote Robertson
for superior court judge."

95
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But, dad, aren't
some of those lies?

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Carlton, honey,
they're all lies.

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How can they get away with that?

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'Cause they know
it's too late for me to sue

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for a retraction.

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Well, there's still time
to fight back.

101
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I'm not gonna fight back.

102
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- What?
- What?

103
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If I sink to their level

104
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I'm just as bad as they are.

105
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Uncle Phil, let me tell you
a little story.

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Oh, no.

107
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See, once upon a time
there was this young boy

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that lived in Philly, right?

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And right next to him
lived the prettiest little honey

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you've ever seen in your life.

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And he loved her with
his whole heart and soul.

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Aw.

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Amen, sister.

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But see, on the other
side of that girl

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lived this little
filthy McRotten dude

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and he wanted her
just for her body, right.

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So one day, the two dudes
was about to get it on, right.

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The girl came out
and stopped 'em.

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She said, "No, flip a coin.

120
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And the winner can be
my boyfriend, right."

121
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So the nasty dude snatched off
into his pocket, right.

122
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Calls heads, flips the coin..

123
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The nice guy lost the toss

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and the girl,
and it broke his heart.

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- And you know why he lost?
- Why?

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Because the nasty dude cheated.

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- He had a two-headed coin.
- Mmm..

128
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The nice guy
didn't get the girl.

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So this story's about you,
isn't it, Will?

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That's right,
Uncle Phil.

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And to this day,
I just thank God

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I had my two-headed coin,
'cause that girl was smoking.

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The poll results are in.
Let's see who won.

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(man on TV)
'And the race for superior court
judge is neck and neck.'

135
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'Robertson and Banks
are both polling 36%.'

136
00:07:11,009 --> 00:07:13,189
'At this point, anything
could tip the balance.'

137
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'More after this.'

138
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Banks gets into office,
we won't have to hide
anymore.

139
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This city's ours!

140
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[laughing]

141
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Unlike my opponent,
I don't think crime should pay.

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I say throw the bums in jail.

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(man on TV)
Over the last 20 years,
Judge Robertson has thrown

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over 6000 bums in jail.
Philip Banks, none.

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Criminals support
Philip Banks. Should you?

146
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(man on TVG)
Throw the bums in jail. Say,
"Philip Banks, no, thanks!"

147
00:07:48,069 --> 00:07:50,029
on election day.

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00:07:52,250 --> 00:07:56,120
Oh. Oh-oh-oh.

149
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[exhales]
Uncle Phil, you got
to kick that man's butt!

150
00:08:00,149 --> 00:08:02,180
Oh, he, like, begging,
he, like, "Oh, Philip Banks

151
00:08:02,199 --> 00:08:04,110
kick my butt."

152
00:08:04,129 --> 00:08:07,029
Philip Banks,
kick the man's butt.

153
00:08:07,050 --> 00:08:09,269
I can't do it, Vivian.
I'm running an honest campaign.

154
00:08:09,290 --> 00:08:12,009
Philip, that man's evil
and senile.

155
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Why not fight fire
with fire?

156
00:08:13,129 --> 00:08:15,149
Because it goes against
everything I stand for.

157
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What's your point?

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I've made my decision.

159
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I'm gonna base my campaign
on the issues, not the dirt.

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I have faith in LA.
That LA will have faith in me.

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(man on TV)
'With over 90% of the districts
reporting, Judge Robertson'

162
00:08:32,059 --> 00:08:34,269
'has overwhelmingly defeated
Philip Banks.'

163
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I hate LA.

164
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And there's the loser now!

165
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Let's listen in as he makes
his concession speech.

166
00:08:49,159 --> 00:08:52,179
Everyone, I wanna thank you
for your support.

167
00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:54,210
We put up a good fight, and, uh

168
00:08:54,230 --> 00:08:57,250
well, it was
just an unfortunate set

169
00:08:57,269 --> 00:09:00,240
of circumstances that..

170
00:09:00,259 --> 00:09:03,149
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
You don't have to shove!

171
00:09:03,169 --> 00:09:05,200
We got two exits!

172
00:09:05,220 --> 00:09:07,259
Uh, Mr-Mr. Banks, uh

173
00:09:07,279 --> 00:09:10,029
not in recent memory
has someone managed

174
00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:13,000
to lose a race
by such a large margin..

175
00:09:13,019 --> 00:09:15,110
[chuckles]
...and so darn quickly.

176
00:09:15,129 --> 00:09:16,250
Uh, how does it feel?

177
00:09:16,269 --> 00:09:19,289
Well, once when I was a kid,
I zipped my pants up too fast.

178
00:09:20,009 --> 00:09:22,200
Let's just say this brings back
old memories.

179
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Ouch.

180
00:09:26,019 --> 00:09:27,190
Hey, on a brighter note,
I see you've brought

181
00:09:27,210 --> 00:09:31,039
your lovely family with you,
including your daughter

182
00:09:31,059 --> 00:09:34,190
KFPB weather personality
Hilary Banks.

183
00:09:34,210 --> 00:09:37,070
Hilary, you've just seen
your father suffer

184
00:09:37,090 --> 00:09:39,039
a humiliating defeat.

185
00:09:39,059 --> 00:09:40,259
So tell me

186
00:09:40,279 --> 00:09:43,120
are you free
for dinner tonight?

187
00:09:43,139 --> 00:09:47,000
[chuckles]
Look, my father
just lost an election.

188
00:09:47,019 --> 00:09:50,110
I mean, I 'm not
totally insensitive.

189
00:09:50,129 --> 00:09:53,059
- How about tomorrow?
- Great.

190
00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:54,210
[clears throat]

191
00:09:54,230 --> 00:09:56,240
Well, from
the Banks' headquarters

192
00:09:56,259 --> 00:09:59,259
this is Trevor Collins..

193
00:09:59,279 --> 00:10:02,029
...feeling pretty good.

194
00:10:04,019 --> 00:10:06,019
Now, everybody,
put on your best faces.

195
00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:08,269
It's time to go give
the victor his due.

196
00:10:08,289 --> 00:10:12,120
Man. Hey, Uncle Phil,
I got your back.

197
00:10:14,100 --> 00:10:16,129
Well, I got, like, half your
back 'cause your back is like..

198
00:10:16,149 --> 00:10:18,029
Pssh!

199
00:10:18,049 --> 00:10:20,230
[instrumental music]

200
00:10:22,179 --> 00:10:23,269
[applauding]

201
00:10:25,129 --> 00:10:27,230
Whoo!

202
00:10:27,250 --> 00:10:29,200
Want some candy, little girl?

203
00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:32,279
Come here. Mm-hm-hmm.

204
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:36,169
Judge Robertson, to what do you
attribute your re-election?

205
00:10:36,190 --> 00:10:39,159
To getting more votes than
the other guy.

206
00:10:39,179 --> 00:10:41,259
I mean, why did you
get more votes, sir?

207
00:10:41,279 --> 00:10:44,029
Oh, well, why didn't you
say so, Connie?

208
00:10:45,100 --> 00:10:47,129
You see, all the credit

209
00:10:47,149 --> 00:10:48,250
goes to my campaign workers

210
00:10:48,269 --> 00:10:51,200
who brought me up
when I was down.

211
00:10:56,039 --> 00:10:58,039
Judge Robertson.

212
00:10:58,059 --> 00:11:00,190
Well, who do we have here?

213
00:11:00,210 --> 00:11:02,289
- Carl--
- Uh, I thought I was Carl.

214
00:11:03,009 --> 00:11:05,210
[laughing]

215
00:11:08,220 --> 00:11:11,240
I just wanna congratulate you
on a campaign well fought,sir.

216
00:11:11,259 --> 00:11:14,120
Well, coming from you, Carl,
that means a lot.

217
00:11:14,139 --> 00:11:17,169
- I'm Philip.
- And I am the walrus.

218
00:11:17,190 --> 00:11:18,279
Coo coo ca choo!

219
00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:21,129
[laughing]

220
00:11:21,149 --> 00:11:23,179
Let's get the hell out of here.

221
00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:25,289
That was fun.

222
00:11:26,009 --> 00:11:28,129
There goes Philip Banks

223
00:11:28,149 --> 00:11:31,139
the biggest sap
that ever lived.

224
00:11:31,159 --> 00:11:32,230
'What a stooge!'

225
00:11:32,250 --> 00:11:34,240
[laughing]

226
00:11:34,259 --> 00:11:38,100
- Excuse me?
- You heard me. He's a sap.

227
00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:40,039
A dope.
A loser.

228
00:11:40,059 --> 00:11:42,200
He never had what it takes
and he never will.

229
00:11:42,220 --> 00:11:44,190
- Isn't that right? Mm-hmm.
- Uh-huh.

230
00:11:44,210 --> 00:11:47,049
[laughing]

231
00:11:47,070 --> 00:11:48,289
I think you should
take that back, man.

232
00:11:49,009 --> 00:11:50,179
- Oh, you do?
- Yeah, I do.

233
00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:52,210
Well, I think you should
run along and play

234
00:11:52,230 --> 00:11:55,289
and don't get involved in
politics until you're a big boy.

235
00:11:56,009 --> 00:11:57,289
At least my uncle
stands for something.

236
00:11:58,009 --> 00:12:00,159
Oh, really?
And what would that be?

237
00:12:00,179 --> 00:12:02,080
A buffet?

238
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:08,100
My uncle fights
for what he believes in.

239
00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:10,210
Ooh! Shame on me!

240
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:12,289
My uncle's three times the man
you'll ever be.

241
00:12:13,009 --> 00:12:15,000
Oh! He's got my vote.

242
00:12:15,019 --> 00:12:16,220
[all laughing]

243
00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:19,259
And another thing..

244
00:12:19,279 --> 00:12:22,110
...everything you said
in your campaign was a lie.

245
00:12:22,129 --> 00:12:24,190
You have no integrity,
no decency

246
00:12:24,210 --> 00:12:28,009
and you-you're
really, really short.

247
00:12:29,149 --> 00:12:31,090
And I'll tell you another thing,
if you don't like it, man

248
00:12:31,110 --> 00:12:33,200
you can drop dead.

249
00:12:33,220 --> 00:12:35,220
[gasps]

250
00:12:41,279 --> 00:12:45,139
Oh, my God!
He's dead.

251
00:12:45,159 --> 00:12:47,149
Hey, come on, man, if I told you
to jump off a bridge

252
00:12:47,169 --> 00:12:50,049
would you do it?

253
00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:52,120
Aah!

254
00:12:55,179 --> 00:12:58,049
[instrumental music]

255
00:12:58,070 --> 00:12:59,129
How you doing, baby?

256
00:12:59,149 --> 00:13:02,159
Oh, I just feel so guilty,
Aunt Viv.

257
00:13:02,179 --> 00:13:04,220
Oh, come on now, you got to stop
blaming yourself, Will.

258
00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:07,169
He wasn't a young man. He didn't
take very good care of himself.

259
00:13:07,190 --> 00:13:09,159
Now you heard what
the doctor said.

260
00:13:09,179 --> 00:13:10,259
I know, Aunt Viv.

261
00:13:10,279 --> 00:13:12,250
If I could just forget it,
just clear my mind

262
00:13:12,269 --> 00:13:15,019
for one minute..

263
00:13:15,039 --> 00:13:18,120
Well, Will, you really knocked
'em dead the other night, huh?

264
00:13:20,279 --> 00:13:22,070
Don't get him mad, mom.

265
00:13:22,090 --> 00:13:25,100
You don't wanna make him
raise his voice.

266
00:13:27,230 --> 00:13:30,259
Carlton, take out
the trash, honey.

267
00:13:30,279 --> 00:13:34,009
I did it last week.
It's the terminator's turn.

268
00:13:35,250 --> 00:13:39,129
Dan Quayle, please.
I'll hold.

269
00:13:39,149 --> 00:13:41,269
Carlton, why are you
calling Dan Quayle?

270
00:13:41,289 --> 00:13:44,269
Simple. Thanks
to the grim reaper over here

271
00:13:44,289 --> 00:13:47,129
and Judge Robertson taking
the old dirt nap

272
00:13:47,149 --> 00:13:49,019
the governor has
to appoint someone

273
00:13:49,039 --> 00:13:53,039
and the right endorsement
could swing it to dad.

274
00:13:53,059 --> 00:13:57,029
Yeah. Carlton Banks.
That's B-A-N-K-S.

275
00:13:57,049 --> 00:13:58,110
No "E."

276
00:14:02,110 --> 00:14:05,190
Uh, uh-uh-uh, that-that was
a joke, ma'am. Um..

277
00:14:07,110 --> 00:14:08,220
Hello?

278
00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:13,139
The phone's dead...Will.

279
00:14:19,139 --> 00:14:21,039
Carlton, man,
I am not a killer!

280
00:14:21,059 --> 00:14:22,259
Aah!

281
00:14:24,159 --> 00:14:26,289
[Carlton laughing]

282
00:14:27,009 --> 00:14:29,149
That's not funny.
That's not funny.

283
00:14:32,019 --> 00:14:34,129
Ashley, you know I'd never
hurt you, right?

284
00:14:34,149 --> 00:14:36,259
I know. I know.

285
00:14:36,279 --> 00:14:39,129
Hilary, you know
that I'd never--

286
00:14:39,149 --> 00:14:41,000
Hurt a fly. We know.

287
00:14:41,019 --> 00:14:43,179
Look, Will, you're taking
this
way too seriously.

288
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:46,200
I mean, it's not like
you got a bad haircut.

289
00:14:51,250 --> 00:14:54,110
Look, I think
I know how to help Will.

290
00:14:54,129 --> 00:14:56,090
This calls
for tough love.

291
00:14:56,110 --> 00:14:59,159
We've got to draw him out.
Gotta bait him, confront him.

292
00:14:59,179 --> 00:15:01,220
Attack him
until he defends himself.

293
00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:04,059
Only then will he start
to feel better.

294
00:15:06,029 --> 00:15:09,110
- I don't know, Carlton.
- Look, just follow my lead.

295
00:15:11,230 --> 00:15:13,269
Will, you should be
ashamed of yourself!

296
00:15:13,289 --> 00:15:15,200
How could you do
such a thing?

297
00:15:15,220 --> 00:15:17,269
I hope you never
get mad at me.

298
00:15:20,110 --> 00:15:22,120
[sobbing]

299
00:15:24,220 --> 00:15:27,129
Why y'all screaming at me?

300
00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:32,159
I was minding my damn business
eating some fruit.

301
00:15:36,149 --> 00:15:40,039
Well, I could be wrong.

302
00:15:40,059 --> 00:15:41,210
You won't believe this.

303
00:15:41,230 --> 00:15:43,009
They want me to give the eulogy

304
00:15:43,029 --> 00:15:44,120
at Judge Robertson 's funeral.

305
00:15:44,139 --> 00:15:45,230
You're kidding.

306
00:15:45,250 --> 00:15:47,019
Philip, you know I

307
00:15:47,039 --> 00:15:48,120
I really hate to speak ill
of the dead

308
00:15:48,139 --> 00:15:49,220
but if that little man
hadn't died

309
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:51,279
I'd have killed him myself.

310
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:54,100
So who's up for Chinese food,
huh?

311
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,019
I'm gonna give
the eulogy, Vivian.

312
00:15:56,039 --> 00:15:57,200
- Philip!
- Daddy, no!

313
00:15:57,220 --> 00:16:00,029
I know Carl changed
over the years

314
00:16:00,049 --> 00:16:01,269
but the man was my mentor.

315
00:16:01,289 --> 00:16:03,149
Now, I'm going to that funeral.

316
00:16:03,169 --> 00:16:05,110
And you're all going
with me.

317
00:16:05,129 --> 00:16:08,029
[instrumental music]

318
00:16:16,190 --> 00:16:20,240
Philip, any chance of getting
those flowers after the funeral?

319
00:16:20,259 --> 00:16:22,289
Sit down, Vivian.

320
00:16:30,039 --> 00:16:33,080
I'd like to welcome you
to the memorial for..

321
00:16:33,100 --> 00:16:34,240
...Carl Robertson.

322
00:16:34,259 --> 00:16:37,090
Saying a few words
on behalf of the departed

323
00:16:37,110 --> 00:16:39,139
will be Philip Banks.

324
00:16:39,159 --> 00:16:40,230
Vivian, where's my speech?

325
00:16:40,250 --> 00:16:42,220
It's on the kitchen counter
where I..

326
00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:45,149
Oh! I'm sorry, Philip.

327
00:16:49,210 --> 00:16:51,120
[clears throat]

328
00:16:53,159 --> 00:16:57,039
What can you say about
Judge Carl Robertson?

329
00:16:57,059 --> 00:16:58,259
What, indeed?

330
00:17:00,210 --> 00:17:03,100
He was a judge.

331
00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:05,069
A judge named Carl.

332
00:17:06,250 --> 00:17:10,000
But he was more,
so much more.

333
00:17:12,109 --> 00:17:15,130
Carl Roberts..
Oh!

334
00:17:17,099 --> 00:17:19,119
He wasn't a very heavy man.

335
00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:23,059
Uh...

336
00:17:23,079 --> 00:17:27,000
Look, I 'm-I'm probably
the wrong person to be up here.

337
00:17:27,019 --> 00:17:29,259
I mean, I just got finished
losing an election to the man

338
00:17:29,279 --> 00:17:32,109
and he used
every dirty trick in the book.

339
00:17:32,130 --> 00:17:35,190
So, uh, at this time
I'd like to invite someone

340
00:17:35,210 --> 00:17:38,039
with an especially warm memory
of Carl Robertson.

341
00:17:38,059 --> 00:17:40,069
Uh, come up here
and share it with us.

342
00:17:44,269 --> 00:17:48,089
Anyone with
a...somewhat fond memory

343
00:17:48,109 --> 00:17:50,079
of Carl Robertson?

344
00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:54,059
Anybody with any recollection
of him at all?

345
00:17:55,130 --> 00:17:57,210
Ah! Yes.

346
00:17:57,230 --> 00:17:59,210
The jerk sentenced me to
six months in jail

347
00:17:59,230 --> 00:18:00,289
for a crime I didn't commit.

348
00:18:01,009 --> 00:18:03,059
I'm just here
to make sure he dead.

349
00:18:08,059 --> 00:18:11,059
Thank you. Yes?

350
00:18:11,079 --> 00:18:14,160
Um, he hired me
to replant his garden.

351
00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:17,069
And when it came time
for him to pay me

352
00:18:17,089 --> 00:18:19,140
he called the immigration
on me.

353
00:18:21,109 --> 00:18:23,170
Gracias.

354
00:18:23,190 --> 00:18:28,099
- Yes?
- I knew Carl biblically.

355
00:18:28,119 --> 00:18:30,200
Oh! Oh, please.

356
00:18:36,049 --> 00:18:37,109
Oh! Sorry.

357
00:18:37,130 --> 00:18:41,160
With him, it was just
a bunch of sex

358
00:18:41,180 --> 00:18:43,279
all the time,
like dating thumper.

359
00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:48,079
Never felt I really
got to know him.

360
00:18:48,099 --> 00:18:51,210
Never felt he cared
about my needs.

361
00:18:51,230 --> 00:18:54,150
- Uh, you were his wife?
- His mistress.

362
00:18:54,170 --> 00:18:55,250
Okay.

363
00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:59,210
For 20 years.

364
00:18:59,230 --> 00:19:02,170
Longest years
of my life.

365
00:19:02,190 --> 00:19:05,109
You don't have any pleasant
memories at all of him?

366
00:19:05,130 --> 00:19:08,170
Mmm. Well..

367
00:19:08,190 --> 00:19:10,240
No.

368
00:19:10,259 --> 00:19:14,069
The man's idea
of sweet talk was

369
00:19:14,089 --> 00:19:17,279
"When are you gonna
bring your sister around?"

370
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,039
Oh.
Mm-hmm.

371
00:19:20,059 --> 00:19:23,279
Well, thank you for sharing.

372
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:26,029
Whoa-whoa -whoa,
hold up here a minute.

373
00:19:26,049 --> 00:19:30,200
I-I'm sorry, Uncle Phil.
A man is dead here, people.

374
00:19:30,220 --> 00:19:34,200
I mean, did he not feel pain
when he was hurt?

375
00:19:34,220 --> 00:19:37,099
I mean, did he not shiver
when he was cold?

376
00:19:37,119 --> 00:19:39,039
Did he not dream?

377
00:19:39,059 --> 00:19:43,119
I mean, he was only human,
but, yes, he was human.

378
00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:46,049
And I fail to believe
that the world can profit

379
00:19:46,069 --> 00:19:48,019
from a man's death.

380
00:19:48,039 --> 00:19:49,250
And I think each and every
one
of you should be

381
00:19:49,269 --> 00:19:51,089
really ashamed of
yourselves.

382
00:19:51,109 --> 00:19:53,019
And who are you?

383
00:19:59,069 --> 00:20:01,170
I'm the dude that killed him.

384
00:20:02,269 --> 00:20:04,230
[applauding]

385
00:20:06,029 --> 00:20:09,180
- 'Bravo! Bravo!'
- 'Whoo!'

386
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:12,099
Whoo! Whoo!
Whoo! Whoo!

387
00:20:16,269 --> 00:20:18,200
- Tough room.
- Yeah.

388
00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:22,190
Aah!

389
00:20:24,079 --> 00:20:26,109
[instrumental music]

390
00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:32,250
Carl, you're just
wasting your time, man.

391
00:20:32,269 --> 00:20:34,089
Ye, of little faith.

392
00:20:34,109 --> 00:20:36,000
I'm about to get the endorsement

393
00:20:36,019 --> 00:20:39,279
that'll lock up
dad's appointment.

394
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,089
Hello, is Vanna there?

395
00:20:44,130 --> 00:20:47,109
Well, I think heaven is
this wonderful place

396
00:20:47,130 --> 00:20:48,279
where all the people
are good-looking

397
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:52,250
nothing clashes, and you
never have to wait for a
table

398
00:20:52,269 --> 00:20:55,250
and hell is,
like, the valley.

399
00:21:00,170 --> 00:21:01,269
What do you think, daddy?

400
00:21:01,289 --> 00:21:04,240
I think we're all damn lucky
Hilary has a job.

401
00:21:06,170 --> 00:21:09,160
Thanks, daddy.

402
00:21:09,180 --> 00:21:12,190
No, no, no, no, see, to me,
heaven has to be like

403
00:21:12,210 --> 00:21:15,069
a cross between
a Sir Mix-a-Lot video

404
00:21:15,089 --> 00:21:18,230
and Roscoe's chicken
and waffles.

405
00:21:18,250 --> 00:21:21,160
See, it's, like, I can have
a leg in one hand

406
00:21:21,180 --> 00:21:24,049
and a breast in the other.

407
00:21:27,130 --> 00:21:29,250
So, what do you think, G?

408
00:21:29,269 --> 00:21:33,279
I think I must have been
very bad in a previous life.

409
00:21:38,289 --> 00:21:42,059
You know I don't know why
people are so down on funerals.

410
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:46,230
[telephone rings]

411
00:21:46,250 --> 00:21:49,240
Banks residence.

412
00:21:49,259 --> 00:21:52,240
- For you, sir.
- Oh, thank you, Geoffrey.

413
00:21:54,140 --> 00:21:56,039
[sighs]
Yes?

414
00:21:57,180 --> 00:22:01,109
Uh, yes, governor.
Yes, it was unfortunate.

415
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:07,180
W-w-why, of course, sir, yes.
It's an honor. Thank you, sir.

416
00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:09,259
Yes.

417
00:22:09,279 --> 00:22:12,259
Well, what was all that?

418
00:22:12,279 --> 00:22:15,049
The governor just appointed me

419
00:22:15,069 --> 00:22:17,069
to Judge Robertson 's seat!

420
00:22:17,089 --> 00:22:19,180
[all cheering]

421
00:22:21,150 --> 00:22:23,130
- Whoo! Yeah!
- Yes! You're the man!

422
00:22:23,150 --> 00:22:26,089
- Yes! Yes!
- You're the man!

423
00:22:26,109 --> 00:22:29,089
- This calls for champagne, huh?
- Yay!

424
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:38,109
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
Could I get it for you?

425
00:22:49,180 --> 00:22:52,049
[sobbing]

426
00:22:53,220 --> 00:22:55,279
Why y'all screaming at me?

427
00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:59,130
'I was just minding my damn
business'

428
00:22:59,150 --> 00:23:01,119
'eating some fruit.'

429
00:23:07,009 --> 00:23:08,210
Well, I can be wrong.

430
00:23:08,230 --> 00:23:11,000
(Will)
'What in the hell did you do
to your lips?'

431
00:23:11,019 --> 00:23:12,119
(female #1)
'Alright!'

432
00:23:14,059 --> 00:23:16,079
[instrumental music]