1 00:00:01,199 --> 00:00:04,000 [instrumental music] 2 00:00:08,250 --> 00:00:11,089 - Hey. - Hi, Will! 3 00:00:11,109 --> 00:00:12,230 Hey, hey, how are you doing, Lindsey? 4 00:00:12,250 --> 00:00:14,240 Ooh, ar-are you going to the Lakers game? 5 00:00:14,259 --> 00:00:17,030 Uh, I wish. I-I don't have no tickets. 6 00:00:17,050 --> 00:00:19,079 Oh! Isn't that a coincidence? 7 00:00:19,100 --> 00:00:21,140 Here I am with two tickets to the Lakers game 8 00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:24,019 and no one to go with. 9 00:00:24,039 --> 00:00:26,120 Well, you enjoy yourself tonight, alright? 10 00:00:26,140 --> 00:00:27,199 Oh, too bad you can't make it. 11 00:00:27,219 --> 00:00:29,120 The seats are center court. 12 00:00:29,140 --> 00:00:31,000 We can go in dad's limo. 13 00:00:31,019 --> 00:00:33,280 And I have passes to the after-game party but, oh, well.. 14 00:00:34,009 --> 00:00:35,170 Wait a minute. Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! 15 00:00:35,189 --> 00:00:38,060 Hold on, hey, who am I to be so selfish? 16 00:00:38,079 --> 00:00:41,000 Uh, what do you say you, uh, pick me up around 8:00? 17 00:00:41,020 --> 00:00:42,149 And, oh, uh, just for tonight 18 00:00:42,170 --> 00:00:45,219 how about you let your buns down? Alright? Alright. 19 00:00:47,119 --> 00:00:49,149 ♪ Now this is a story all about ♪ 20 00:00:49,170 --> 00:00:52,009 ♪ How my life got flipped turned upside-down ♪ 21 00:00:52,030 --> 00:00:54,159 ♪ And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there ♪ 22 00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:55,280 ♪ I'll tell you how I became the prince ♪ 23 00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:57,149 ♪ Of a town called Bel-Air ♪ 24 00:00:57,170 --> 00:01:00,200 [music continues] 25 00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:08,269 ♪ In West Philadelphia born and raised ♪ 26 00:01:08,289 --> 00:01:11,200 ♪ On the playground is where I spent most of my days ♪ 27 00:01:11,219 --> 00:01:13,150 ♪ Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool ♪ 28 00:01:13,170 --> 00:01:16,039 ♪ And all shootin' some B-ball outside of the school ♪ 29 00:01:16,060 --> 00:01:18,230 ♪ When a couple of guys who were up to no good ♪ 30 00:01:18,250 --> 00:01:20,159 ♪ Started makin' trouble in my neighborhood ♪ 31 00:01:20,180 --> 00:01:23,060 ♪ I got in one little fight and my mom got scared ♪ 32 00:01:23,079 --> 00:01:24,099 ♪ And said you're moving with your auntie ♪ 33 00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:25,210 ♪ And uncle in Bel-Air ♪ 34 00:01:25,230 --> 00:01:27,250 ♪ I whistled for a cab and when it came near ♪ 35 00:01:27,269 --> 00:01:30,170 ♪ The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror ♪ 36 00:01:30,189 --> 00:01:32,259 ♪ If anything I can say that this cab was rare ♪ 37 00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:33,289 ♪ But I thought nah forget it ♪ 38 00:01:34,009 --> 00:01:36,189 ♪ Yo homes to Bel-Air ♪ 39 00:01:36,210 --> 00:01:39,200 ♪ I pulled up to a house about seven or eight ♪ 40 00:01:39,219 --> 00:01:42,140 ♪ And I yelled to the cabby yo homes smell you later ♪ 41 00:01:42,159 --> 00:01:44,280 ♪ I looked at my kingdom I was finally there ♪ 42 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:47,079 ♪ To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel-Air ♪ 43 00:01:47,099 --> 00:01:50,129 [music continues] 44 00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:57,049 [instrumental music] 45 00:02:03,230 --> 00:02:06,159 Geoffrey, you look great today. 46 00:02:06,180 --> 00:02:08,219 Have you done something different with your hair? 47 00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:12,180 Yes, I stopped pulling it out. 48 00:02:12,199 --> 00:02:15,240 - What are you selling? - Okay, I'm hawking candy bars. 49 00:02:15,259 --> 00:02:17,110 They're only five bucks. 50 00:02:17,129 --> 00:02:19,039 Marvelous, with what I'm paid 51 00:02:19,060 --> 00:02:22,259 I should be able to afford one by the end of the day. 52 00:02:24,129 --> 00:02:26,139 (Carlton) You poor, pathetic gigolo. 53 00:02:26,159 --> 00:02:30,079 How could any self-respecting man sell himself so cheap? 54 00:02:30,099 --> 00:02:33,090 Like I don't hear enough of that from my mother. 55 00:02:35,009 --> 00:02:36,120 I was talking to Will. 56 00:02:36,139 --> 00:02:40,139 Of course! Why would anyone talk to me? 57 00:02:40,159 --> 00:02:43,150 I'm but a poor, lowly servant. 58 00:02:47,060 --> 00:02:49,129 Well, Carlton, I'm sayin', what's your damage, man? 59 00:02:49,150 --> 00:02:51,189 I mean, Lindsey just can't resist me. 60 00:02:51,210 --> 00:02:53,189 It's just a Laker game, you know? 61 00:02:53,210 --> 00:02:57,110 Eh, besides, you know what they say about guys with big ears. 62 00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:00,069 They can fly? 63 00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:04,039 Vivian, I don't want to talk about this anymore. 64 00:03:04,060 --> 00:03:07,020 Philip, I don't see why you don't want to run? 65 00:03:07,039 --> 00:03:09,219 He's probably afraid he'll crack the concrete. 66 00:03:11,139 --> 00:03:14,250 Will, the LA Political coalition just asked your uncle 67 00:03:14,270 --> 00:03:17,090 to run for superior court judge. 68 00:03:17,110 --> 00:03:18,189 Yeah. 69 00:03:18,210 --> 00:03:20,020 Those imbeciles are trying to railroad 70 00:03:20,039 --> 00:03:21,159 Judge Robertson off the bench. 71 00:03:21,180 --> 00:03:24,189 I can't believe that. Wait, Judge Robertson? 72 00:03:24,210 --> 00:03:27,229 They have the audacity to try to do that to Judge Robertson? 73 00:03:27,250 --> 00:03:30,000 Who the hell is Judge Robertson? 74 00:03:30,020 --> 00:03:33,030 He was your uncle's mentor and quite a colorful person. 75 00:03:33,050 --> 00:03:35,000 Well, he was a little bit eccentric. 76 00:03:35,020 --> 00:03:38,039 Huh, he taught me the true meaning of the word justice. 77 00:03:38,060 --> 00:03:39,280 You know, there were times I didn't think I was gonna make it 78 00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:42,000 through school but he wouldn't let me quit. 79 00:03:42,020 --> 00:03:44,240 I never would have gotten through law school without him. 80 00:03:44,259 --> 00:03:47,210 What did he do, have the halls widened? Ha ha ha! 81 00:03:47,229 --> 00:03:49,250 [laughs] 82 00:03:49,270 --> 00:03:51,259 That's a good one. That was a good one. 83 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:53,280 For your information.. 84 00:03:55,170 --> 00:03:57,020 ...he taught me not only the spirit 85 00:03:57,039 --> 00:03:58,210 but the letter of the law. 86 00:03:58,229 --> 00:04:02,009 - Whoo, God bless him. - Hmm. 87 00:04:02,030 --> 00:04:04,120 And I consider it an insult for anyone 88 00:04:04,139 --> 00:04:05,259 to try to get him out of office. 89 00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:07,280 What do you think, Will? 90 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:10,180 I think I shouldn't have never said nothing about them halls. 91 00:04:12,039 --> 00:04:15,270 So, did everybody watch LA's favorite weathergirl today? 92 00:04:15,289 --> 00:04:18,100 - No. - No. 93 00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:22,110 Well, I was the bright spot, as usual. 94 00:04:22,129 --> 00:04:24,220 I wore my new Versace. See. 95 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:27,019 So what's the weather gonna be like tomorrow, honey? 96 00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:30,060 [scoffs] What am I, psychic? 97 00:04:30,079 --> 00:04:31,209 [doorbell rings] 98 00:04:37,230 --> 00:04:42,069 Oh, please! Letmeget it this time. 99 00:04:42,090 --> 00:04:44,009 Uh, Hilary.. 100 00:04:44,029 --> 00:04:47,250 ...you look so beautiful today. 101 00:04:47,269 --> 00:04:50,220 I was born beautiful. What are you selling? 102 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:52,110 Okay, I'll give you 10% off. 103 00:04:52,129 --> 00:04:54,180 I'll take two. 104 00:04:54,199 --> 00:04:59,279 [clears throat] Master William, Miss Lindsey to see you. 105 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,139 Miss Lindsey, this is most inappropriate. 106 00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:04,180 I couldn't possibly.. 107 00:05:04,199 --> 00:05:07,000 Oh! It's Ben! 108 00:05:08,259 --> 00:05:11,079 Thank you. 109 00:05:11,100 --> 00:05:13,019 Yo, Lindsey, what are you doing here? 110 00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:15,089 Will, honey, that is no way to talk to your guest. 111 00:05:15,110 --> 00:05:17,230 Hi, I'm Vivian, Will's aunt. Nice to meet you. 112 00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:20,029 Nice to meet you too. W-Will, can I talk to you for a minute? 113 00:05:20,050 --> 00:05:23,050 Um, yeah, right this way, money.. Um, honey, I'm sorry. 114 00:05:24,250 --> 00:05:26,069 Lindsey, what's up? 115 00:05:26,089 --> 00:05:29,000 I had a great time the other night. It was magic. 116 00:05:29,019 --> 00:05:31,019 - What did you do? - I'm talking about us, silly. 117 00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:33,209 I-I-I didn't want the night to end. 118 00:05:33,230 --> 00:05:36,090 Well, you know, nights do that sometimes. 119 00:05:36,110 --> 00:05:40,139 Look, Will, um, since we had so much fun the other night, um 120 00:05:40,159 --> 00:05:43,230 I was wondering if we could, uh, spend some time together. 121 00:05:43,250 --> 00:05:46,180 [chuckling] 122 00:05:46,199 --> 00:05:48,220 Oh, look-look, Lindsey, I mean, I'd really love to 123 00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:51,120 I mean, but I have obligations, I have commitments. 124 00:05:51,139 --> 00:05:53,100 I have a gold watch! 125 00:05:54,209 --> 00:05:57,069 So, um, how about a little thank-you kiss? 126 00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:59,100 [chuckling] 127 00:06:02,230 --> 00:06:04,040 Thank you. 128 00:06:06,290 --> 00:06:10,019 [instrumental music] 129 00:06:12,069 --> 00:06:15,000 Oh, yo, G, here's the whipped cream you wanted for dinner. 130 00:06:15,019 --> 00:06:17,149 Who said it was for dinner? 131 00:06:22,110 --> 00:06:23,180 Hey, Carlton, what time is it? 132 00:06:23,199 --> 00:06:27,189 Oh, I'm sorry, I almost forgot. 133 00:06:27,209 --> 00:06:31,040 I'm only wearing the finest timepiece ever made. 134 00:06:31,060 --> 00:06:33,149 This gold model was handcrafted in Switzerland 135 00:06:33,170 --> 00:06:35,060 by the finest of craftsmen. 136 00:06:35,079 --> 00:06:39,290 Keeps time accurate to within three seconds a year. 137 00:06:40,009 --> 00:06:41,209 Love the Casio. 138 00:06:42,250 --> 00:06:44,269 Will, you're nothing more than a troller. 139 00:06:44,290 --> 00:06:46,040 A strumpet. 140 00:06:46,060 --> 00:06:48,250 A love slave. Sans the love. 141 00:06:48,269 --> 00:06:50,060 I'm sorry, Carlton, I couldn't hear you 142 00:06:50,079 --> 00:06:52,139 my damn watch was just ticking so loud. 143 00:06:54,029 --> 00:06:57,110 You just don't have the fortitude to say no. 144 00:06:57,129 --> 00:07:00,000 Carlton, please, I mean, I have no choice. 145 00:07:00,019 --> 00:07:01,160 I'm the chosen one. 146 00:07:01,180 --> 00:07:04,189 I mean, take Moses, when he was asked to part the Red Sea 147 00:07:04,209 --> 00:07:06,189 did he say "No, y'all build a dam?" 148 00:07:07,230 --> 00:07:09,120 Vivian, do I look okay? 149 00:07:09,139 --> 00:07:10,199 Philip, honey, would you relax 150 00:07:10,220 --> 00:07:12,009 we're just having company for dinner. 151 00:07:12,029 --> 00:07:14,290 It's not just company. It's Judge Robertson. 152 00:07:15,009 --> 00:07:16,120 He's done so much for me over the years 153 00:07:16,139 --> 00:07:19,029 this is my chance to finally pay him back. 154 00:07:19,050 --> 00:07:22,029 Baby, we're just having pot roast. 155 00:07:22,050 --> 00:07:24,180 - Is the judge here yet? - No, honey, not yet. 156 00:07:24,199 --> 00:07:26,269 Good, then I have plenty of time to plant this. 157 00:07:26,290 --> 00:07:28,220 - Hilary, what is that? - It's a bug. 158 00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:30,149 They gave it to me down at the news room. 159 00:07:30,170 --> 00:07:32,060 If I can scoop some dirt on Judge Robertson 160 00:07:32,079 --> 00:07:34,110 it could mean a big promotion. 161 00:07:34,129 --> 00:07:35,230 I feel just like Deborah Norville 162 00:07:35,250 --> 00:07:38,060 except I have a job. 163 00:07:38,079 --> 00:07:40,170 Hilary, forget it. 164 00:07:40,189 --> 00:07:41,269 This man is our guest. 165 00:07:41,290 --> 00:07:44,269 Let's just show him the respect he deserves. 166 00:07:44,290 --> 00:07:47,019 Here comes the judge. 167 00:07:48,050 --> 00:07:49,110 Here comes the judge. 168 00:07:49,129 --> 00:07:51,240 Order in the court! 169 00:07:51,259 --> 00:07:53,199 Here comes the judge. 170 00:07:56,149 --> 00:07:59,220 It wouldn't kill you to crack a smile, you know. 171 00:08:02,199 --> 00:08:03,279 Ah! 172 00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:11,100 [chuckling] 173 00:08:14,050 --> 00:08:16,019 Judge Robertson, it's so good to see you, sir. 174 00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:18,160 It's soeasy to see you, Philip. 175 00:08:20,199 --> 00:08:22,220 Looks like you haven't stepped on the scales of justice 176 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:24,019 in quite some time. 177 00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:25,220 [both laugh] 178 00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:30,029 [laughs] Did you hear what he said? 179 00:08:30,050 --> 00:08:32,039 He was.. 180 00:08:32,059 --> 00:08:33,200 Oh.. Oh. Um, uh.. 181 00:08:33,220 --> 00:08:36,149 I'm l-I'm laughing at something that happened yesterday. 182 00:08:38,220 --> 00:08:40,289 Oh, I-I'm done now. I'm done. 183 00:08:41,009 --> 00:08:42,230 I remember you! 184 00:08:42,250 --> 00:08:44,049 You're Carlton! 185 00:08:44,070 --> 00:08:46,149 [both laugh] 186 00:08:46,169 --> 00:08:49,169 I've known you since you were yay-high. 187 00:08:51,259 --> 00:08:55,039 Well, ain't nothing wrong with his memory. 188 00:08:55,059 --> 00:08:57,190 You got that right. Forget everything you heard about me. 189 00:08:57,210 --> 00:08:59,049 There may be snow on the roof 190 00:08:59,070 --> 00:09:01,080 but there's still fire in the furnace. 191 00:09:01,100 --> 00:09:03,039 [laughing] 192 00:09:03,059 --> 00:09:06,149 And hello, Vivian. 193 00:09:06,169 --> 00:09:08,000 Philip, your wife gets more youthful 194 00:09:08,019 --> 00:09:09,179 with every passing year. 195 00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:12,110 No, excuse me, judge, no, this is my, my daughter Hilary. 196 00:09:12,129 --> 00:09:15,139 - Oh! - This is my wife Vivian. 197 00:09:15,159 --> 00:09:17,110 You've aged. 198 00:09:19,210 --> 00:09:22,149 And what the hell is that you're wearing? 199 00:09:22,169 --> 00:09:24,169 Why don't we come over here? 200 00:09:26,169 --> 00:09:28,159 Dinner is served! 201 00:09:28,179 --> 00:09:30,009 Benson! 202 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:38,080 I didn't know you were really a butler. 203 00:09:39,070 --> 00:09:42,090 [instrumental music] 204 00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:47,110 Boy, that Judge Robertson's quite a character. 205 00:09:47,129 --> 00:09:51,169 Hey, but, Aunt Viv, how come he keep calling you weezy? 206 00:09:51,190 --> 00:09:53,269 I'm sorry, Philip, that man is beyond eccentric. 207 00:09:53,289 --> 00:09:57,090 I asked him to pass the salt, he told me to go long. 208 00:09:57,110 --> 00:09:59,049 Uh, he was joking, Vivian. 209 00:09:59,070 --> 00:10:01,149 Philip, he broke a window! 210 00:10:01,169 --> 00:10:02,220 He's a sexist pig. 211 00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:04,169 Oh, Hilary, that's not true. He's pro-choice. 212 00:10:04,190 --> 00:10:06,169 Daddy, he said the only choice a woman should have 213 00:10:06,190 --> 00:10:09,049 is with or without the lights on. 214 00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:12,169 Oh, see, see, now that's disgusting. 215 00:10:12,190 --> 00:10:15,179 The lights should be off. 216 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:18,159 Believe me, son, the only time a woman should sit on the bench 217 00:10:18,179 --> 00:10:20,120 is when she's waiting for a bus. 218 00:10:20,139 --> 00:10:22,019 Oh! That's ridiculous! 219 00:10:22,039 --> 00:10:24,220 And what if she's serving coleslaw at a picnic? 220 00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:28,129 Ah, point taken. You have the makings of a fine judge. 221 00:10:28,149 --> 00:10:30,009 [both laugh] 222 00:10:30,029 --> 00:10:32,120 So, Judge Robertson, you were telling us 223 00:10:32,139 --> 00:10:33,250 about your most recent decision. 224 00:10:33,269 --> 00:10:36,220 Oh, yes, I had this boy before me recently. 225 00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:38,179 No preponderance of evidence either way. 226 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:41,279 It was a tough call, but in the end I had to convict. 227 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:43,129 Uh. How did you decide? 228 00:10:43,149 --> 00:10:45,279 Well, you see the, uh, prosecutor was a babe 229 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,029 so after I decided in her favor 230 00:10:48,049 --> 00:10:49,070 she decided in mine. 231 00:10:49,090 --> 00:10:50,169 [laughs] 232 00:10:50,190 --> 00:10:52,240 Ohh, Lord. Look at the time. 233 00:10:52,259 --> 00:10:55,070 Uh, well, judge, let me walk you to your car. 234 00:10:55,090 --> 00:10:57,120 Good. Maybe you can remember where I parked. 235 00:10:57,139 --> 00:10:59,159 [laughs] 236 00:11:00,190 --> 00:11:03,210 [instrumental music] 237 00:11:07,230 --> 00:11:08,200 - Hi, Will! - Oh. 238 00:11:08,220 --> 00:11:10,039 Hey, Lindsey, how you doing? 239 00:11:10,059 --> 00:11:11,240 Uh, Will, I was wondering if you would like to go 240 00:11:11,259 --> 00:11:13,250 with me to the autumn dance? 241 00:11:13,269 --> 00:11:16,080 Uh, wow. Um.. 242 00:11:16,100 --> 00:11:19,110 Look, Lindsey, now, I mean, you've been very generous 243 00:11:19,129 --> 00:11:21,029 you know, but I-I just can't.. 244 00:11:21,049 --> 00:11:24,049 Well, look.. A motorcycle helmet, hey. 245 00:11:24,070 --> 00:11:27,240 Hey, but, L-Lindsey, I mean, I can't take.. 246 00:11:27,259 --> 00:11:30,179 Wow, a motorcycle jacket, hey, with Malcolm on it. 247 00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:33,250 I can ride and be righteous at the same time, huh. 248 00:11:33,269 --> 00:11:35,039 Look, but-but, Lindsey, I'm sorry-- 249 00:11:35,059 --> 00:11:36,269 These go to your new Harley-Davidson. 250 00:11:36,289 --> 00:11:40,139 Now, what were you gonna say? 251 00:11:40,159 --> 00:11:42,019 Thank you? 252 00:11:46,230 --> 00:11:49,120 Oh, yeah, right, like you wouldn't take it! 253 00:11:54,009 --> 00:11:56,169 [instrumental music] 254 00:12:01,009 --> 00:12:02,039 - Will. - Hey. 255 00:12:02,059 --> 00:12:03,190 How did this get on the patio? 256 00:12:03,210 --> 00:12:05,029 Oh, no-no, don't worry, Aunt Viv, I was careful 257 00:12:05,049 --> 00:12:07,240 from when I drove it through the house. 258 00:12:07,259 --> 00:12:09,230 I mean, where did it come from? 259 00:12:09,250 --> 00:12:12,049 The Harley factory. 260 00:12:12,070 --> 00:12:14,139 Well, it came from Lindsey, didn't it? 261 00:12:14,159 --> 00:12:17,000 Now, what I wanna know is what does she get in return? 262 00:12:17,019 --> 00:12:20,259 Well, all the rides she wants, Aunt Viv. 263 00:12:20,279 --> 00:12:22,240 Well, you are acting like a pimp! 264 00:12:22,259 --> 00:12:25,049 Oh, come on. Hold it now. That is totally unfair, Aunt Viv. 265 00:12:25,070 --> 00:12:26,240 If a man was buying a woman all these gifts 266 00:12:26,259 --> 00:12:28,120 nobody would have anything to say about it, right? 267 00:12:28,139 --> 00:12:30,139 No-no, honey, it doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman. 268 00:12:30,159 --> 00:12:33,049 If you don't care for someone, you shouldn't accept gifts. 269 00:12:33,070 --> 00:12:34,139 And it diminishes you every time 270 00:12:34,159 --> 00:12:36,039 you accept something from Lindsey. 271 00:12:36,059 --> 00:12:38,289 Now, you were not raised that way, boy, and you know it. 272 00:12:40,139 --> 00:12:43,049 Now, you know what you need to do, don't you? 273 00:12:43,070 --> 00:12:44,269 Yeah, put out. 274 00:12:47,279 --> 00:12:50,149 I know, I know, I know, I give all this stuff back. 275 00:12:50,169 --> 00:12:52,000 And? 276 00:12:52,019 --> 00:12:54,129 I got to be honest with her. 277 00:12:54,149 --> 00:12:56,190 And you know that's right. 278 00:12:59,049 --> 00:13:00,169 [sighs] 279 00:13:02,139 --> 00:13:05,230 If I keep the bike, I'm a pimp. 280 00:13:05,250 --> 00:13:08,090 If I give it back, I'm adamnfool! 281 00:13:11,100 --> 00:13:13,080 Ah, well, pimp it is. 282 00:13:14,029 --> 00:13:17,070 [instrumental music] 283 00:13:18,289 --> 00:13:20,200 - Hi, honey. - Hmm, hi, baby. 284 00:13:20,220 --> 00:13:22,279 Mm. Mm, mm, chocolate, huh. 285 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:24,080 Uh-uh-uh! Forget it, honey. 286 00:13:24,100 --> 00:13:26,059 At five bucks a pop, I'm not sharing. 287 00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:28,029 Oh. 288 00:13:28,049 --> 00:13:29,139 I am so angry. 289 00:13:29,159 --> 00:13:31,169 Okay, here, you can have a bite. 290 00:13:31,190 --> 00:13:33,169 No, no. It's about Judge Robertson. 291 00:13:33,190 --> 00:13:34,289 You know, he's sitting up on that bench 292 00:13:35,009 --> 00:13:36,139 for all the wrong reasons. 293 00:13:36,159 --> 00:13:38,169 Unless somebody runs against him he'll be up there for ever. 294 00:13:38,190 --> 00:13:40,029 Well, who do you have in mind? 295 00:13:40,049 --> 00:13:42,179 Oh, I don't know. 296 00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:47,159 Somebody dynamic, principled.. 297 00:13:47,179 --> 00:13:50,129 Someone who looks good in a black robe. 298 00:13:50,149 --> 00:13:51,289 Jesse Jackson? 299 00:13:52,009 --> 00:13:54,059 Oh.. No! Me! 300 00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:56,090 [chuckles] I know, baby. 301 00:13:56,110 --> 00:13:58,190 I always thought you'd make a fabulous judge. 302 00:13:58,210 --> 00:14:00,029 Oh. 303 00:14:00,049 --> 00:14:01,220 You sure, baby? 304 00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:03,220 I mean, this could mean big changes for all of us. 305 00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:05,250 I know, but it could also mean big changes 306 00:14:05,269 --> 00:14:07,049 for the people in the city. 307 00:14:07,070 --> 00:14:08,269 Maybe for the better. 308 00:14:08,289 --> 00:14:10,120 Oh, I love you, Vivian. 309 00:14:10,139 --> 00:14:12,240 Hmm-hm, I love you, too. 310 00:14:12,259 --> 00:14:14,029 [chuckles] 311 00:14:14,049 --> 00:14:15,200 Get your hands off my chocolate 312 00:14:15,220 --> 00:14:17,190 or you're a dead man. 313 00:14:18,220 --> 00:14:20,250 [instrumental music] 314 00:14:22,220 --> 00:14:24,039 Here's, uh, Judge Robertson at that 315 00:14:24,059 --> 00:14:26,049 big student anti-war rally. Remember? 316 00:14:26,070 --> 00:14:27,230 He was the only professor that had guts enough 317 00:14:27,250 --> 00:14:29,259 to go up against the administration. 318 00:14:29,279 --> 00:14:32,159 - I can't believe it. - Oh, trust me, Hilary. 319 00:14:32,179 --> 00:14:34,149 He was a great man and a hell of a lawyer. 320 00:14:34,169 --> 00:14:37,250 No, I mean that those women didn't shave under their arms. 321 00:14:40,269 --> 00:14:42,210 Hey, hey, Uncle Phil, hold up. 322 00:14:42,230 --> 00:14:45,009 Who's that skinny, weird dude standing next to you? 323 00:14:45,029 --> 00:14:46,169 Uh, that's me. 324 00:14:48,100 --> 00:14:50,250 Oh, th-that's a relief, 'cause I was about to wonder 325 00:14:50,269 --> 00:14:53,240 why Uncle Phil was holding that dude's hand. 326 00:14:53,259 --> 00:14:55,230 He'll-he'll be here any minute. 327 00:14:55,250 --> 00:14:58,250 How am I gonna tell him that I'm running against him? 328 00:14:58,269 --> 00:15:01,019 I mean, how do you tell somebody that used to be your hero 329 00:15:01,039 --> 00:15:03,049 that he's become completely incompetent? 330 00:15:03,070 --> 00:15:05,059 Well, big guy, may I suggest using flash cards 331 00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:06,289 with really big pictures? 332 00:15:07,009 --> 00:15:08,149 [doorbell rings] 333 00:15:08,169 --> 00:15:10,100 Don't worry, sweetheart, if he's the man 334 00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:12,100 that you think he is, he'll understand. 335 00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:14,000 If he's the man I think he is 336 00:15:14,019 --> 00:15:16,190 he'll probably get lost on his way to the bathroom. 337 00:15:19,129 --> 00:15:21,149 Judge Robertson. 338 00:15:21,169 --> 00:15:22,230 Thanks, Benson. 339 00:15:22,250 --> 00:15:27,000 For the last time, sir, I amnotBenson. 340 00:15:27,019 --> 00:15:29,120 [British accent] Oh, sure, right, right. 341 00:15:29,139 --> 00:15:31,110 [chuckling] 342 00:15:31,129 --> 00:15:33,049 - How are you doing, judge? - How are you? 343 00:15:33,070 --> 00:15:35,269 Well, uh, we'll leave you two alone. 344 00:15:35,289 --> 00:15:37,230 Come on, kids. 345 00:15:37,250 --> 00:15:39,100 Goodnight, nice seeing you again. 346 00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:40,220 (Vivian) Goodnight. 347 00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:43,000 Mm, mm-mm, not only has she aged 348 00:15:43,019 --> 00:15:44,289 she has a beer belly. 349 00:15:47,179 --> 00:15:49,009 That's my wife, and she's pregnant. 350 00:15:49,029 --> 00:15:51,080 Oh, then she should lay off the beer. 351 00:15:54,029 --> 00:15:57,019 Would you take a seat, please? 352 00:15:57,039 --> 00:16:00,009 Uh, Judge Robertson, I-I hear that you're running 353 00:16:00,029 --> 00:16:01,110 for re-election and-- 354 00:16:01,129 --> 00:16:03,220 And you want to make a big, fat contribution. 355 00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:05,029 Good, good! Ha-ha-ha. 356 00:16:05,049 --> 00:16:06,220 Hey, make the check out to cash. 357 00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:08,269 In fact, why don't you just give me cash? 358 00:16:08,289 --> 00:16:10,070 Or maybe that ring? 359 00:16:10,090 --> 00:16:11,269 [both chuckling] 360 00:16:11,289 --> 00:16:13,090 That's good. 361 00:16:13,110 --> 00:16:16,279 No, Carl, uh, look, there's-there's something 362 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:18,289 I want to tell you, but, uh 363 00:16:19,009 --> 00:16:20,259 I can't seem to find the words. 364 00:16:20,279 --> 00:16:23,029 Well, where'd you have them last? 365 00:16:24,100 --> 00:16:28,090 No...I'm talking about what's happened to you. 366 00:16:29,100 --> 00:16:30,169 I'll be Frank. 367 00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:32,289 Okay, and who am I? 368 00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:42,090 No, look, what I'm trying to say is 369 00:16:42,110 --> 00:16:44,129 that maybe you've served the community long enough. 370 00:16:44,149 --> 00:16:47,149 And as your friend, I think I should tell you 371 00:16:47,169 --> 00:16:50,289 that, well, maybe it's time for you to retire. 372 00:16:51,009 --> 00:16:53,129 Oh! Me, retire? 373 00:16:53,149 --> 00:16:55,090 Oh, Frank! 374 00:16:59,139 --> 00:17:01,139 Have you lost your mind? 375 00:17:01,159 --> 00:17:03,169 I mean, this is cushiest job in town. 376 00:17:03,190 --> 00:17:05,289 I get free coffee, validated parking 377 00:17:06,009 --> 00:17:07,130 I don't have to wear pants 378 00:17:07,150 --> 00:17:09,279 and besides there's no one to run against me. 379 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:11,279 - Uh, yes, there is. - Who? 380 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:15,079 - Me. -You!You've got to be kidding! 381 00:17:15,099 --> 00:17:17,099 You don't know the first thing about running for office. 382 00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:19,150 I taught you about law, not politics. 383 00:17:19,170 --> 00:17:21,250 Look, the point is, I'm going to run against you 384 00:17:21,269 --> 00:17:23,180 and I thought I should tell you face-to-face. 385 00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:26,289 Oh, yes, well, let me tellyou something face-to-face! 386 00:17:27,009 --> 00:17:30,009 Iam a very worthy opponent. 387 00:17:31,019 --> 00:17:32,289 And I can see myself on your head. 388 00:17:33,009 --> 00:17:34,180 [laughing] 389 00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:36,220 Oh, Benson, my car! 390 00:17:39,109 --> 00:17:42,140 [instrumental music] 391 00:17:59,089 --> 00:18:02,109 Ah, takes a licking and keeps on ticking. 392 00:18:07,019 --> 00:18:09,250 Judge. Hey, what's going on? 393 00:18:09,269 --> 00:18:10,289 Wha.. What are you doing here? 394 00:18:11,009 --> 00:18:14,039 I don't know. Don't I live here? 395 00:18:14,059 --> 00:18:15,269 No, judge, you don't. 396 00:18:15,289 --> 00:18:18,000 [laughs] 397 00:18:18,019 --> 00:18:20,140 No wonder the garage door opener didn't work. 398 00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:22,279 It took forever to pry it open. 399 00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:27,250 Uh, look, judge, um.. 400 00:18:27,269 --> 00:18:29,269 - Juice? - No. No, thanks. 401 00:18:29,289 --> 00:18:32,200 Look, um, I got some problems, you know 402 00:18:32,220 --> 00:18:34,059 I got to deal with tonight. Eh, you know.. 403 00:18:34,079 --> 00:18:36,079 - Woman problems. - Oh, women! 404 00:18:36,099 --> 00:18:37,170 They've been a problem ever since 405 00:18:37,190 --> 00:18:38,160 they got the right to vote! 406 00:18:38,180 --> 00:18:40,119 Look, sit down, son, sit down. 407 00:18:40,140 --> 00:18:42,019 Talk to me, sonny. Talk to me. 408 00:18:42,039 --> 00:18:45,019 I've had my share of problems with women. 409 00:18:45,039 --> 00:18:46,170 [sighs] Well, see, actually, judge 410 00:18:46,190 --> 00:18:48,220 it's this girl at school, Lindsey, right? 411 00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:51,230 And she just keeps buying me all these fly gifts. 412 00:18:51,250 --> 00:18:53,220 So what's the problem? 413 00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:56,170 Well, you know, I'm not really attracted to her. 414 00:18:56,190 --> 00:18:59,119 Sowhat's the problem? 415 00:18:59,140 --> 00:19:02,089 Well, my aunt Viv told me that, you know, it's not right 416 00:19:02,109 --> 00:19:04,019 to accept gifts from people that, you know 417 00:19:04,039 --> 00:19:05,180 you're not really attracted to. 418 00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:07,140 Look, son.. 419 00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:08,230 ...I remember when I was your age 420 00:19:08,250 --> 00:19:10,079 there was this girl. 421 00:19:10,099 --> 00:19:11,269 I didn't like her that much. 422 00:19:11,289 --> 00:19:13,279 She was always buying me gifts 423 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:17,210 dinner, taking me out. Ha! 424 00:19:17,230 --> 00:19:20,009 She even offered to send me through law school. 425 00:19:20,289 --> 00:19:22,079 So what did you do? 426 00:19:22,099 --> 00:19:23,220 Huh, what else? 427 00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:25,049 I married her. 428 00:19:26,109 --> 00:19:29,180 - Pie? - Uh, no, no thanks, judge. 429 00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:31,279 So, wait, you're just going to tell me that 430 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:33,180 you got together with this girl 431 00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:36,019 and you had this long, incredible, wonderful life. 432 00:19:36,039 --> 00:19:38,230 [laughs] I wish I could tell you that. 433 00:19:38,250 --> 00:19:42,190 But the truth is, I dumped her after law school. 434 00:19:42,210 --> 00:19:44,170 Aw, I'm sorry, judge, that's too bad. 435 00:19:44,190 --> 00:19:45,230 Oh, no, that's okay. 436 00:19:45,250 --> 00:19:47,089 We split everything down the middle. 437 00:19:47,109 --> 00:19:51,029 I got the money, the house, the car, the boat 438 00:19:51,049 --> 00:19:53,029 and she got to keep the kids. 439 00:19:54,250 --> 00:19:56,250 - Pie? - No. No, no thanks. 440 00:19:56,269 --> 00:19:59,170 So you saying that you just kept all the stuff 441 00:19:59,190 --> 00:20:01,130 that she gave you even after y'all broke up? 442 00:20:01,150 --> 00:20:05,160 Damn straight! Possession is nine tenth of the law, my boy. 443 00:20:06,119 --> 00:20:08,049 [telephone rings] 444 00:20:11,059 --> 00:20:12,130 Yo. 445 00:20:14,119 --> 00:20:16,140 Look, Lindsey, I told you I'm busy. 446 00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:18,180 (Lindsey on phone) 'But I'm in the neighborhood.' 447 00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:20,230 'Really close.' 448 00:20:20,250 --> 00:20:22,160 How close, Lindsey? 449 00:20:23,099 --> 00:20:24,230 [knocking] 450 00:20:31,269 --> 00:20:34,089 Princess Leia! 451 00:20:34,109 --> 00:20:35,250 May the force be with you! 452 00:20:35,269 --> 00:20:37,190 [laughing] 453 00:20:37,210 --> 00:20:40,009 Uh, Will, somebody broke into your garage. 454 00:20:40,029 --> 00:20:42,039 Quick! Call the police! 455 00:20:42,059 --> 00:20:45,230 Uh, Lindsey, can I talk to you for a second? 456 00:20:45,250 --> 00:20:48,210 Look, what are you doing here? Wa.. 457 00:20:50,019 --> 00:20:52,009 As if I didn't know, right? 458 00:20:52,029 --> 00:20:54,049 - It's over, Will. - See what I'm say.. 459 00:20:54,069 --> 00:20:56,099 - Yo, it's what? - Over. 460 00:20:56,119 --> 00:20:57,200 But-but why? 461 00:20:57,220 --> 00:20:59,240 Why ask why? Look at her. 462 00:21:02,220 --> 00:21:04,279 I'm not attracted to you, Will. 463 00:21:06,069 --> 00:21:08,079 Whoa, whoa, whoa, yeah, yeah, yeah. Y-yes, you are. 464 00:21:08,099 --> 00:21:11,160 No, no, I'm not. I-I've never been attracted to you. 465 00:21:11,180 --> 00:21:14,200 What.. Then why did you buy me all this stuff? 466 00:21:14,220 --> 00:21:17,269 Well, you're captain of the basketball team. 467 00:21:17,289 --> 00:21:20,220 You're popular and being seen with you at the autumn dance 468 00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:23,130 made me popular, too. But now your job is done. 469 00:21:23,150 --> 00:21:26,210 Uh-uh-uh! Boy, that woman is ruthless. 470 00:21:26,230 --> 00:21:28,119 [laughs] 471 00:21:28,140 --> 00:21:30,059 Ever think about going into politics? 472 00:21:30,079 --> 00:21:31,250 [chuckles] Yeah, as a matter of fact, I.. 473 00:21:31,269 --> 00:21:34,009 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 474 00:21:34,029 --> 00:21:37,250 I'm saying, Lindsey, I mean, what about me, as a person? 475 00:21:37,269 --> 00:21:41,059 What about the way that my, my cheeks dimple when I smile? 476 00:21:41,079 --> 00:21:42,259 And-and what color are my eyes? 477 00:21:42,279 --> 00:21:44,289 Look! You're quiet. You don't even know. 478 00:21:45,009 --> 00:21:46,119 Who cares? 479 00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:52,029 Who cares? 480 00:21:54,049 --> 00:21:58,009 I feel so used, so cheap. 481 00:21:58,029 --> 00:22:00,109 Well, you certainly weren't cheap. 482 00:22:00,130 --> 00:22:02,069 You cost me a fortune. 483 00:22:02,089 --> 00:22:04,130 I want my stuff back. 484 00:22:04,150 --> 00:22:05,220 Now. 485 00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:08,210 - Wait, b-but, look-- - Now! 486 00:22:08,230 --> 00:22:10,230 Shh.. 487 00:22:10,250 --> 00:22:12,029 You take this ring back 488 00:22:12,049 --> 00:22:14,269 'cause my mother don't scream at me like that. 489 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:19,009 Take this watch back and you can take this jacket back. 490 00:22:21,190 --> 00:22:23,140 Nice meeting you, young lady. 491 00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:26,109 - Be sure to rock the vote. - Goodnight! 492 00:22:33,140 --> 00:22:35,099 You know.. 493 00:22:35,119 --> 00:22:37,049 You know, judge.. 494 00:22:37,069 --> 00:22:39,289 ...I never thought saying goodbye would be so hard. 495 00:22:41,089 --> 00:22:43,109 I really loved that watch. 496 00:22:49,220 --> 00:22:50,210 Well, he was a little eccentric. 497 00:22:50,230 --> 00:22:51,289 But he traught, taught me that.. 498 00:22:52,009 --> 00:22:53,099 And soon as I say let's do it again. 499 00:22:53,119 --> 00:22:54,289 - He traught you? - Yeah, he traught me. 500 00:22:55,009 --> 00:22:56,160 - What'd he traught you? - He traught me how to [bleep]. 501 00:22:56,180 --> 00:22:57,230 Oops. 502 00:23:08,130 --> 00:23:11,069 - And let's go do this again. - Damn!