1 00:00:05,209 --> 00:00:06,290 Hi, little one. 2 00:00:07,009 --> 00:00:08,089 Of course, you won't make an appearance 3 00:00:08,109 --> 00:00:09,220 for about six months now 4 00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:12,009 but I thought you'd like to meet your family. 5 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:14,179 I'm your daddy. 6 00:00:14,199 --> 00:00:18,070 Can you say "Daddy"? Coochie-coochie-coo. 7 00:00:19,070 --> 00:00:21,280 And here.. 8 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:26,019 Here is your mommy. 9 00:00:26,250 --> 00:00:29,059 And here.. 10 00:00:29,079 --> 00:00:31,289 '...is you.' 11 00:00:32,009 --> 00:00:34,250 'Hello in there.' 12 00:00:34,270 --> 00:00:36,159 Mommy, why don't we call the kids down 13 00:00:36,179 --> 00:00:38,030 and tell them that you're pregnant? 14 00:00:38,049 --> 00:00:39,289 Kids! Kids! 15 00:00:40,009 --> 00:00:43,100 Come on down, we have a big surprise for you. 16 00:00:44,170 --> 00:00:48,280 Oh, check it out. LAPD, The Home Game. 17 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:50,259 We're making a movie? Here, check it out, Uncle Phil. 18 00:00:50,280 --> 00:00:52,070 Hold on. 19 00:00:53,219 --> 00:00:57,049 [screaming] 20 00:00:58,280 --> 00:01:01,200 I have fallen and I can't get up. 21 00:01:03,119 --> 00:01:04,280 Will. 22 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:07,159 Kids, come on now, brace yourself. 23 00:01:07,180 --> 00:01:09,189 I have some very important news for you. 24 00:01:09,210 --> 00:01:12,260 Okay, but I'm living with the one who keeps the house. 25 00:01:18,030 --> 00:01:22,099 No, no, no. We're not getting a divorce, stupid. 26 00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:24,189 We're having a baby. 27 00:01:25,269 --> 00:01:28,210 [all laughing] 28 00:01:29,239 --> 00:01:31,189 Wait. Hold it, hold it, hold it. 29 00:01:31,210 --> 00:01:33,219 You and you? 30 00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:36,140 [laughing] 31 00:01:38,170 --> 00:01:41,189 This is serious. We're having a baby. 32 00:01:42,229 --> 00:01:45,150 Yo, they ain't laughing, y'all. 33 00:01:45,170 --> 00:01:49,020 Okay, I think I speak for everyone when I say.. 34 00:01:49,039 --> 00:01:50,189 ...ew! 35 00:01:52,189 --> 00:01:54,270 And I'm not baby-sitting. 36 00:01:54,289 --> 00:01:57,069 I'm not changing diapers. 37 00:01:57,090 --> 00:02:00,170 And I'm not sharing my trust fund. 38 00:02:00,189 --> 00:02:03,140 Let's try this again, shall we? 39 00:02:09,020 --> 00:02:11,069 Now, kids, I have great news. 40 00:02:11,090 --> 00:02:13,270 We're gonna have a baby! 41 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,060 (all) Yay. 42 00:02:17,159 --> 00:02:19,120 [theme song] 43 00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,189 ♪ Now this is a story ♪ 44 00:02:20,210 --> 00:02:22,180 ♪ All about how my life got flipped ♪ 45 00:02:22,199 --> 00:02:24,039 ♪ Turned upside-down ♪ 46 00:02:24,060 --> 00:02:26,090 ♪ And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there ♪ 47 00:02:26,110 --> 00:02:27,189 ♪ I'll tell you how I became the prince ♪ 48 00:02:27,210 --> 00:02:29,110 ♪ Of a town called Bel-Air ♪ 49 00:02:38,079 --> 00:02:40,189 ♪ In West Philadelphia, born and raised ♪ 50 00:02:40,210 --> 00:02:43,079 ♪ On the playground is where I spent most of my days ♪ 51 00:02:43,099 --> 00:02:45,090 ♪ Chillin' out, maxin' relaxing all cool ♪ 52 00:02:45,110 --> 00:02:47,280 ♪ And all shootin' some b-ball outside of the school ♪ 53 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:50,150 ♪ When a couple of guys who were up to no good ♪ 54 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,150 ♪ Started makin' trouble in my neighborhood ♪ 55 00:02:52,170 --> 00:02:54,289 ♪ I got in one little fight and my mom got scared ♪ 56 00:02:55,009 --> 00:02:56,069 ♪ And said you're moving with your auntie ♪ 57 00:02:56,090 --> 00:02:57,170 ♪ And uncle in Bel-Air ♪ 58 00:02:57,189 --> 00:02:59,180 ♪ I whistled for a cab and when it came near ♪ 59 00:02:59,199 --> 00:03:02,099 ♪ The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror ♪ 60 00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:04,210 ♪ If anything I can say that this cab was rare ♪ 61 00:03:04,229 --> 00:03:05,240 ♪ But I thought nah forget it ♪ 62 00:03:05,259 --> 00:03:08,129 ♪ Yo homes to Bel-Air ♪ 63 00:03:08,150 --> 00:03:11,189 ♪ I pulled up to a house about seven or eight ♪ 64 00:03:11,210 --> 00:03:12,229 ♪ And I yelled to the cabbie ♪ 65 00:03:12,250 --> 00:03:14,090 ♪ Yo homes smell you later ♪ 66 00:03:14,110 --> 00:03:16,139 ♪ I looked at my kingdom I was finally there ♪ 67 00:03:16,159 --> 00:03:19,000 ♪ To sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air ♪ 68 00:03:34,050 --> 00:03:38,079 Good morning, honey. 69 00:03:38,099 --> 00:03:41,030 Going to the electric chair? 70 00:03:41,050 --> 00:03:44,240 Philip, since I got pregnant, I can't stop eating. 71 00:03:44,259 --> 00:03:48,000 But, honey, you got to be careful of what you eat. 72 00:03:48,020 --> 00:03:50,159 Remember, baby, you're eating for two now. 73 00:03:50,180 --> 00:03:52,170 You better watch it, since I could get used to 74 00:03:52,189 --> 00:03:54,009 all this attention, you know. 75 00:03:54,030 --> 00:03:56,159 That's fine with me, baby. Let me take care of you. 76 00:03:56,180 --> 00:03:58,099 No, no, that's all fat. 77 00:03:58,120 --> 00:03:59,210 No, no, no, all sugar. 78 00:03:59,229 --> 00:04:03,159 No, no, no, no, that's alright. 79 00:04:06,289 --> 00:04:09,110 The catering business is so unfair. 80 00:04:09,129 --> 00:04:11,020 I mean, a couple of nuns get botulism 81 00:04:11,039 --> 00:04:14,090 and all of a sudden, I'm blacklisted. 82 00:04:14,110 --> 00:04:15,189 Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's too bad. 83 00:04:15,210 --> 00:04:17,199 So how's the apartment hunting going, honey? 84 00:04:17,220 --> 00:04:19,240 Excuse me? 85 00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:21,240 Hilary, we've been over this. 86 00:04:21,259 --> 00:04:24,019 With the baby coming, we're gonna need the room. 87 00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:26,170 Wait a minute. I have to move out? 88 00:04:26,189 --> 00:04:29,160 Whose fault is it that she's pregnant? 89 00:04:34,090 --> 00:04:37,029 Besides, we have three extra bedrooms. 90 00:04:37,050 --> 00:04:39,180 Yes, and we don't want you in any of them. 91 00:04:41,199 --> 00:04:42,279 Philip. 92 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:45,269 Hilary, honey, what your father's trying to say is 93 00:04:45,290 --> 00:04:48,069 you don't live here anymore, honey. 94 00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:55,129 But this is all so sudden. 95 00:04:55,149 --> 00:04:57,180 I mean, like, if I'd only had some kind of 96 00:04:57,199 --> 00:04:59,189 warning or something. 97 00:05:01,029 --> 00:05:03,189 [sobbing] 98 00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:16,129 Hello, is this on? 99 00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:19,040 Where do you expect me to go? I don't have anything saved. 100 00:05:19,060 --> 00:05:21,079 Honey, we'll pay first and last month's rent. 101 00:05:21,100 --> 00:05:22,220 What about the months in between? 102 00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:24,100 Get a job. 103 00:05:27,189 --> 00:05:29,069 Again? 104 00:05:29,089 --> 00:05:33,069 What a week. First, those damn nuns, now this. 105 00:05:33,090 --> 00:05:34,090 Hey, what's up, Hil? 106 00:05:34,110 --> 00:05:35,139 A word to the wise, Will. 107 00:05:35,159 --> 00:05:37,230 Stay in high school forever. 108 00:05:37,250 --> 00:05:38,290 Bet. 109 00:05:40,159 --> 00:05:42,220 - Hey, good morning, y'all. - Good morning. 110 00:05:45,209 --> 00:05:47,290 I just want a sticky bun. 111 00:05:48,009 --> 00:05:50,019 I'm just gonna get a sticky bun. 112 00:05:56,259 --> 00:05:58,230 Mom, I look dorky. 113 00:05:58,250 --> 00:06:01,029 Oh, honey, you look adorable. 114 00:06:01,050 --> 00:06:02,139 You're just nervous about your first day 115 00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:04,040 at a new school but don't be, come on. 116 00:06:04,060 --> 00:06:05,170 You're gonna make a lot of new friends. 117 00:06:05,189 --> 00:06:07,050 What if no one likes me? 118 00:06:07,069 --> 00:06:10,100 Just do what Carlton does, give them money. 119 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:11,149 Sweetheart, you're gonna be alright. 120 00:06:11,170 --> 00:06:13,060 You have a wonderful personality. 121 00:06:13,079 --> 00:06:15,120 Oh, great, now I'm ugly. 122 00:06:16,250 --> 00:06:20,209 You are not ugly. You are beautiful and you're smart. 123 00:06:20,230 --> 00:06:23,250 And you're gonna have a fabulous day at your new school. Okay? 124 00:06:23,269 --> 00:06:25,199 And I'm gonna be here when you get home 125 00:06:25,220 --> 00:06:28,040 and I want to hear all about it. Okay? 126 00:06:28,060 --> 00:06:29,269 Okay. 127 00:06:31,060 --> 00:06:32,189 - Hi, guys. - Hi. 128 00:06:32,209 --> 00:06:34,189 This is a great day. 129 00:06:34,209 --> 00:06:38,100 Little Ashley joining me at Bel-Air Prep. 130 00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:41,009 Hey, I thought you asked dad to send me to public school. 131 00:06:41,029 --> 00:06:42,110 Merely a trial balloon. 132 00:06:42,129 --> 00:06:44,110 The fact remains that I love you. 133 00:06:44,129 --> 00:06:45,259 But if we run into each other at school 134 00:06:45,279 --> 00:06:47,090 act like we've never met. 135 00:06:47,110 --> 00:06:49,009 Don't acknowledge me, don't talk to me 136 00:06:49,029 --> 00:06:50,189 act like I'm invisible. 137 00:06:50,209 --> 00:06:53,159 If you're not sure how, just do what all the other girls do. 138 00:06:56,279 --> 00:06:58,090 Look, I'm serious. 139 00:06:58,110 --> 00:07:00,199 This is my senior year and I don't want you tagging along. 140 00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:03,220 I've worked too hard at becoming popular. 141 00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:07,060 And any day now, it's gonna kick in, right? 142 00:07:07,079 --> 00:07:09,029 Darn tooting. 143 00:07:09,050 --> 00:07:10,170 Hey, look. 144 00:07:10,189 --> 00:07:14,100 I just think it's about time Bel-Air Prep went co-ed. 145 00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:17,060 There's gonna be cute girls everywhere. 146 00:07:17,079 --> 00:07:20,019 Cute, rich girls that know the one thing 147 00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:22,019 their parents can't stand is for them to be dating 148 00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:24,120 a big black dude. 149 00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:32,050 Will, can I hang out with you until I make some friends? 150 00:07:32,069 --> 00:07:33,069 Oh, yeah, sure, Ash. 151 00:07:33,090 --> 00:07:34,220 Just look for the huddle of girls 152 00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:37,000 with the chocolate center. 153 00:07:44,290 --> 00:07:48,079 It's a disgrace. It's a scandal. 154 00:07:48,100 --> 00:07:50,220 It's an outrage! 155 00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:52,230 It's the mother of my children. 156 00:07:54,079 --> 00:07:57,220 Carlton, look. The way to make an impression is to relax, man. 157 00:07:57,240 --> 00:08:02,079 You got to be calm, chill out a little bit. 158 00:08:02,100 --> 00:08:04,139 Hurt me! Hurt me! 159 00:08:05,170 --> 00:08:08,029 Whoa, whoa, whoa, what's up, baby? 160 00:08:08,050 --> 00:08:09,199 The name's Veronica. 161 00:08:09,220 --> 00:08:12,269 Oooh, Veronica, I likes that. 162 00:08:12,290 --> 00:08:15,170 Great. Now, I can die. 163 00:08:15,189 --> 00:08:18,170 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up, baby. See.. 164 00:08:18,189 --> 00:08:21,100 Now, I noticed you noticing me. 165 00:08:21,120 --> 00:08:25,290 So I just want to put you on notice that I noticed you, too. 166 00:08:26,009 --> 00:08:27,029 And? 167 00:08:27,050 --> 00:08:28,180 And to let you know that, you know 168 00:08:28,199 --> 00:08:30,240 I might consider letting you be with me. 169 00:08:30,259 --> 00:08:33,129 Is that what passes for a compliment around here? 170 00:08:33,149 --> 00:08:35,049 - Look, baby, listen. - No, you listen. 171 00:08:35,070 --> 00:08:36,240 If you want a shot at being with me 172 00:08:36,259 --> 00:08:38,019 maybe you should try talking to me 173 00:08:38,039 --> 00:08:41,090 like a human being, okay? Got it? 174 00:08:44,220 --> 00:08:47,200 Actually, baby, you got it, but I take donations. 175 00:08:50,259 --> 00:08:53,139 Dag, Will. You sure have a way with the ladies. 176 00:08:53,159 --> 00:08:55,000 Hey, man, what's your secret? 177 00:08:55,019 --> 00:08:56,289 Well, I would like to help you out, my brother. 178 00:08:57,009 --> 00:08:59,029 But, you know, it's a chemical thing. 179 00:08:59,049 --> 00:09:02,029 You drug them? 180 00:09:02,049 --> 00:09:04,029 No, no, no. Look, Kenny, it's instinct. 181 00:09:04,049 --> 00:09:05,100 Like, you know the old saying 182 00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:08,039 "Those who can, do, those who can't, teach?" 183 00:09:08,059 --> 00:09:10,039 Well, I can and I do. 184 00:09:10,059 --> 00:09:11,250 Whoa, that's deep, man. 185 00:09:11,269 --> 00:09:14,080 Slide over here for a second. I'll give you a few pointers. 186 00:09:14,100 --> 00:09:19,100 Incoming! 187 00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:21,100 Well, Carlton, here we have a couple of 188 00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:23,100 particularly impressive competitors. 189 00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:28,070 Judges! 190 00:09:28,090 --> 00:09:32,059 Will, the judges like her. They really, really like her. 191 00:09:33,159 --> 00:09:36,049 And let's hear it for the East German team! 192 00:09:50,029 --> 00:09:51,210 - Hi, Carl. - Out of the way, Ashley. 193 00:09:51,230 --> 00:09:54,259 - I'm trying to see. - Ashley, watch out! 194 00:09:54,279 --> 00:09:56,230 - Whoo! - Whoo! 195 00:10:07,039 --> 00:10:09,120 I can't believe how hard it is to find a beachfront place 196 00:10:09,139 --> 00:10:14,080 with a pool and tennis court for $500 a month. 197 00:10:14,100 --> 00:10:16,230 I mean, what's happening to this country? 198 00:10:16,250 --> 00:10:19,159 It's enough to make me want to vote. 199 00:10:19,179 --> 00:10:21,169 Maybe you should lower your standards a little. 200 00:10:21,190 --> 00:10:23,049 You're not gonna be happy until I'm living 201 00:10:23,070 --> 00:10:26,210 in a trailer, eating Spam on Ritz. 202 00:10:26,230 --> 00:10:29,059 I mean, that's where this is going, isn't it? 203 00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:33,129 Sweetheart, I found a few places that don't look so bad. 204 00:10:33,149 --> 00:10:36,080 I'm beginning to get the idea that you want to get rid of me. 205 00:10:36,100 --> 00:10:38,059 Run with that. 206 00:10:41,139 --> 00:10:43,059 - Hey, guys. - Hey. 207 00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:44,230 So how was the first day at school? 208 00:10:44,250 --> 00:10:46,230 Way cool, grand hombre. 209 00:10:46,250 --> 00:10:49,250 Yo, Uncle Phil, it was booming, man. Tasties everywhere. 210 00:10:49,269 --> 00:10:53,070 I mean, big ones, small ones, short ones, tall ones.. 211 00:10:53,090 --> 00:10:57,039 Black ones, brown ones, rich ones, poor ones, crazy ones. 212 00:10:57,059 --> 00:10:58,169 ♪ Spill the wine ♪ 213 00:10:58,190 --> 00:11:00,230 ♪ Dig that girl ♪ ♪ No no no no ♪ 214 00:11:00,250 --> 00:11:04,129 ♪ Spill the wine dig that girl ♪ ♪ Dig that girl ♪ 215 00:11:04,149 --> 00:11:08,039 ♪ Spill the wine dig that girl ♪ ♪ Oh ♪ 216 00:11:08,059 --> 00:11:11,250 ♪ Spill the wine dig that girl ♪ 217 00:11:11,269 --> 00:11:15,169 ♪ Spill the wine dig that girl ♪ 218 00:11:15,190 --> 00:11:16,250 ♪ Spill the.. ♪♪ 219 00:11:20,250 --> 00:11:23,149 Well, your aunt and I used to.. 220 00:11:25,100 --> 00:11:28,029 It's not important. 221 00:11:28,049 --> 00:11:30,279 Carlton, I thought you were against girls at Bel-Air Prep. 222 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:33,240 I'll be the first to admit I had great reservations about it 223 00:11:33,259 --> 00:11:35,210 but I've already learned that many of my assumptions 224 00:11:35,230 --> 00:11:39,080 about the opposite sex were just plain wrong. 225 00:11:39,100 --> 00:11:40,200 And that was just from 10 minutes of 226 00:11:40,220 --> 00:11:43,039 hiding under the bleachers. 227 00:11:43,059 --> 00:11:44,250 Hey, guys. Come on over here. 228 00:11:44,269 --> 00:11:48,000 You know, that reminds me of my freshman year at college. 229 00:11:48,019 --> 00:11:51,100 Now, for extra money, I had to work for the Princeton Daily. 230 00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:53,200 And my first assignment was to interview the town's 231 00:11:53,220 --> 00:11:57,179 most famous stripper Boom Boom LaSalle. 232 00:11:59,049 --> 00:12:02,080 I wonder why they called her that. 233 00:12:02,100 --> 00:12:03,139 For some reason, I don't know what 234 00:12:03,159 --> 00:12:05,000 she kinda took a liking to me 235 00:12:05,019 --> 00:12:07,139 and so she invited me to go with her and her sister 236 00:12:07,159 --> 00:12:10,220 to their dressing room for...drinks. 237 00:12:13,019 --> 00:12:14,210 (Will) 'You the man.' 238 00:12:14,230 --> 00:12:16,210 Anyway, one thing led to another 239 00:12:16,230 --> 00:12:20,059 and before I knew it, this old country boy 240 00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:23,289 finished his yoo-hoo and went right home. 241 00:12:24,009 --> 00:12:25,110 Wait a minute. Wait a minute, Philip. 242 00:12:25,129 --> 00:12:28,009 Go back to where you finished your yoo-hoo. 243 00:12:28,029 --> 00:12:30,090 Ashley! 244 00:12:30,110 --> 00:12:32,019 Ashley, baby, I'm sorry. 245 00:12:32,039 --> 00:12:35,000 - How was school? - School was fine. 246 00:12:35,019 --> 00:12:37,289 - Did you make any new friends? - A few. I've got to go study. 247 00:12:38,009 --> 00:12:40,159 Well, did some of the boys try anything with you? 248 00:12:40,179 --> 00:12:46,019 No, nothing. Nothing at all. 249 00:12:46,039 --> 00:12:48,029 Uncle Phil, you'll be happy to know that 250 00:12:48,049 --> 00:12:50,220 none of the boys tried nothing with me, neither. 251 00:12:58,220 --> 00:13:02,100 Ahem.. Ah, there you go noticing me again. 252 00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:15,220 I'm telling you, she wants me. 253 00:13:16,269 --> 00:13:19,059 She senses my raw animal power 254 00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:21,159 and is incapable of turning away. 255 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:26,080 She senses that big, wet, nasty blob of mayonnaise on your cheek 256 00:13:26,100 --> 00:13:29,019 and she can't eat till you wipe it off. 257 00:13:34,190 --> 00:13:36,049 Oh.. 258 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:40,159 - So, yo, you seen Ashley today? - No. 259 00:13:40,179 --> 00:13:41,220 Me neither. I wonder where she at. 260 00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:43,029 I don't know and I don't care. 261 00:13:43,049 --> 00:13:45,120 As long as she doesn't try to sit with me again. 262 00:13:45,139 --> 00:13:46,279 It's kind of hard to impress the honeys 263 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,259 when your baby sister's blowing bubbles in your milk. 264 00:13:51,230 --> 00:13:53,049 Ahem, ahem.. 265 00:13:55,250 --> 00:13:57,190 Wow.. 266 00:13:57,210 --> 00:14:00,149 Will, check out the talent. 267 00:14:00,169 --> 00:14:03,120 She's cool! She's hot! 268 00:14:03,139 --> 00:14:06,159 - She's.. - Your baby sister, man! 269 00:14:08,019 --> 00:14:10,090 Aah! 270 00:14:14,070 --> 00:14:16,240 [laughing] 271 00:14:21,159 --> 00:14:25,080 Yo, ease back, man, ease back. 272 00:14:25,100 --> 00:14:27,070 What do you think you're doing? 273 00:14:27,090 --> 00:14:30,080 - Buzz off, short stuff. - That's it, Ashley. 274 00:14:30,100 --> 00:14:35,009 I want you to.. I'm ordering you to look unattractive. 275 00:14:35,029 --> 00:14:37,039 Ashley, who did you have for breakfast 276 00:14:37,059 --> 00:14:39,250 some hormones or something? 277 00:14:39,269 --> 00:14:42,169 Beat it. I'm working the room. 278 00:14:44,059 --> 00:14:47,039 Hi, Bobby. 279 00:14:47,059 --> 00:14:48,279 Where'd she learn to walk like that? 280 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:51,129 Yeah, where'd she get that Lee Press-On body? 281 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:56,210 - Hurt me! Hurt me! - Mmm-mmm-mmm. 282 00:14:58,269 --> 00:15:02,000 Yo, baby. You see, I noticed you noticing me. 283 00:15:02,019 --> 00:15:07,000 And I wanted to give you notice that I noticed you, too. 284 00:15:07,019 --> 00:15:10,149 Baby, you float my boat. 285 00:15:10,169 --> 00:15:14,169 I know you better float your midget boat on out of here. 286 00:15:14,190 --> 00:15:16,059 Will, man, ease up. 287 00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:18,139 No, no, you ease up, man. What do you think you're doing? 288 00:15:18,159 --> 00:15:20,049 The same thing that you do. 289 00:15:20,070 --> 00:15:22,000 I'm just trying to press up this woman. 290 00:15:22,019 --> 00:15:24,049 Yo, that ain't no woman, that's my cousin. 291 00:15:24,070 --> 00:15:26,039 I am too a woman and I'd appreciate it 292 00:15:26,059 --> 00:15:28,129 if you'd stay out of my business. 293 00:15:29,279 --> 00:15:33,120 Don't you shake your neck at me like that, girl. 294 00:15:35,090 --> 00:15:37,220 - Come on, Kenny. - Hey. 295 00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:42,190 And don't you shake that either. 296 00:15:47,250 --> 00:15:51,029 I did it. I found the perfect place and it's within my budget. 297 00:15:51,049 --> 00:15:52,230 - You did it. - That's great, baby. 298 00:15:52,250 --> 00:15:55,120 You guys were right. I do have what it takes to survive. 299 00:15:55,139 --> 00:15:56,230 And it's true what they say 300 00:15:56,250 --> 00:15:58,220 you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day 301 00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:02,269 but you give a man a cow and he can eat for a month, maybe more. 302 00:16:02,289 --> 00:16:06,110 Don't, don't, don't. She's on a roll. 303 00:16:06,129 --> 00:16:07,259 This place has got it all. 304 00:16:07,279 --> 00:16:09,240 Pool, tennis and full utilities. 305 00:16:09,259 --> 00:16:11,210 And I won't need any more than the $500 a month 306 00:16:11,230 --> 00:16:13,029 that daddy promised me. 307 00:16:13,049 --> 00:16:16,070 - That's an incredible deal. - Unbelievable, even. 308 00:16:16,090 --> 00:16:17,279 I think we should see this place. 309 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:19,080 Well, if you want to. 310 00:16:19,100 --> 00:16:20,159 I wouldn't miss it. I'll get the car keys. 311 00:16:20,179 --> 00:16:21,230 No, you're not gonna need them. 312 00:16:21,250 --> 00:16:24,029 Why? Is it in the neighborhood? 313 00:16:24,049 --> 00:16:26,110 You're getting warmer. 314 00:16:26,129 --> 00:16:28,149 Well, where is it, exactly? 315 00:16:31,129 --> 00:16:33,120 I'm gonna live in the pool house. 316 00:16:33,139 --> 00:16:34,240 You said I had to be out of the house 317 00:16:34,259 --> 00:16:37,039 but not off of the property. 318 00:16:38,250 --> 00:16:40,110 And with the money that daddy promised me 319 00:16:40,129 --> 00:16:43,009 it will cover my furniture rental. 320 00:16:47,149 --> 00:16:50,240 Philip! Philip, honey, honey. Honey, we're getting off easy. 321 00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:53,039 - Come on. - But it's not fair. 322 00:16:53,059 --> 00:16:55,240 She's winning! 323 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:06,240 Baby, I'm telling you. 324 00:17:06,259 --> 00:17:10,130 You've got more moves than a bowl of Jell-O. 325 00:17:10,150 --> 00:17:14,089 And there's always room for Jell-O. 326 00:17:14,109 --> 00:17:15,200 Wow. 327 00:17:15,220 --> 00:17:18,049 Dude sounds like a jackass. 328 00:17:20,079 --> 00:17:23,099 Actually, Will, he sounds like you. 329 00:17:23,119 --> 00:17:25,029 So, Kenny, when are we going out? 330 00:17:25,049 --> 00:17:26,160 Oh, I don't know, baby. 331 00:17:26,180 --> 00:17:29,029 You have to let me check my book and I'll get back to you. 332 00:17:29,049 --> 00:17:31,190 You see, I want to make sure I can 333 00:17:31,210 --> 00:17:35,059 give you my undivided attention. 334 00:17:35,079 --> 00:17:38,140 Actually, Will, he's better than you. 335 00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:41,009 I mean, look at you, you got it going on. 336 00:17:41,029 --> 00:17:46,079 You got sweet hips, lips and fingertips. 337 00:17:46,099 --> 00:17:48,269 But baby got back! 338 00:17:51,130 --> 00:17:53,220 - Bye, baby. - Hold on, wait, wait, wait. 339 00:17:55,089 --> 00:17:58,269 Will, I know my sister needs me but that girl was babelicious. 340 00:17:58,289 --> 00:18:00,109 Carlton 341 00:18:00,130 --> 00:18:02,289 I think you know what you have to do. 342 00:18:04,220 --> 00:18:06,079 I know. 343 00:18:07,170 --> 00:18:08,269 Still.. 344 00:18:08,289 --> 00:18:10,210 ...I would have liked to have been there for Ashley. 345 00:18:10,230 --> 00:18:12,150 Hey.. 346 00:18:23,099 --> 00:18:27,039 I was so sure looking like this would make me popular. 347 00:18:36,059 --> 00:18:38,119 I mean, what do guys want, anyway? 348 00:18:38,140 --> 00:18:41,049 Ashley, look, guys want a girl who's sweet 349 00:18:41,069 --> 00:18:43,180 and kind and smart. Just like you. 350 00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:45,150 Kenny wanted the girl with back. 351 00:18:45,170 --> 00:18:48,130 Ashley, look, Kenny's a special case. 352 00:18:48,150 --> 00:18:50,069 Carlton wanted the same girl. 353 00:18:50,089 --> 00:18:52,250 Well, see, Carlton's a basket case. 354 00:18:54,180 --> 00:18:57,089 What about all the boys in the hall yesterday? 355 00:18:57,109 --> 00:19:00,019 And all the guys in the beer commercials? 356 00:19:00,039 --> 00:19:02,230 And all the guys who ask Hilary out. 357 00:19:02,250 --> 00:19:04,230 Look, alright, okay. Look, Ashley 358 00:19:04,250 --> 00:19:06,140 I can't lie to you, alright? 359 00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:11,019 Some guys don't know what's special about a woman. 360 00:19:11,039 --> 00:19:13,000 Actually, a lot of guys don't know. 361 00:19:13,019 --> 00:19:16,160 Well, really, damn near all guys don't know. 362 00:19:16,180 --> 00:19:18,279 Look, Ashley, there's still some guys 363 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:21,009 that appreciate quality, you know? 364 00:19:21,029 --> 00:19:22,140 And you're quality. 365 00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:24,210 You don't got to do all this. 366 00:19:24,230 --> 00:19:26,069 Just work on being you. 367 00:19:26,089 --> 00:19:30,000 I'm telling you, the right guy will come along. I promise you. 368 00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:36,170 Okay. 369 00:19:36,190 --> 00:19:39,069 Have your people call my people. We'll do lunch. 370 00:19:40,259 --> 00:19:42,150 Give mama a kiss, baby. 371 00:19:45,069 --> 00:19:46,130 I'm really glad you're my cousin. 372 00:19:46,150 --> 00:19:48,170 Mama know. Go on, girl. 373 00:19:57,269 --> 00:19:59,200 Veronica 374 00:19:59,220 --> 00:20:01,200 you know, I've thought about what you said yesterday 375 00:20:01,220 --> 00:20:05,109 and you know, I just wanted to tell you, you was right. 376 00:20:05,130 --> 00:20:07,009 I'm sorry about the way I behaved 377 00:20:07,029 --> 00:20:10,039 and I'd be real grateful if I could have your number 378 00:20:10,059 --> 00:20:11,130 so I could call you. 379 00:20:11,150 --> 00:20:14,119 That's really nice. What did I say? 380 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:19,000 What did you say? 381 00:20:19,019 --> 00:20:21,150 Yeah. You thought over what I said and I was right. 382 00:20:21,170 --> 00:20:23,089 What did you agree with? 383 00:20:23,109 --> 00:20:26,210 Yo, it was deep. I agreed with all of it. 384 00:20:26,230 --> 00:20:29,029 You have no idea what I said, do you? 385 00:20:29,049 --> 00:20:31,150 Wait, hold up, girl, you tripping. 386 00:20:31,170 --> 00:20:33,289 I know, I know, I know what you said. 387 00:20:34,009 --> 00:20:35,289 You, you.. 'Cause we was right here. 388 00:20:36,009 --> 00:20:41,049 You said that people who live in glass cribs 389 00:20:41,069 --> 00:20:43,099 shouldn't throw hard stuff. 390 00:20:43,119 --> 00:20:45,170 No. 391 00:20:45,190 --> 00:20:47,140 "Let your smile be your umbrella?" 392 00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:51,069 Alright, whoa, whoa. Come on. Who cares what you said, baby? 393 00:20:51,089 --> 00:20:54,089 I'm saying I'm trying to be with you. 394 00:20:54,109 --> 00:20:57,059 That's the first honest thing you said to me. 395 00:20:58,220 --> 00:21:01,140 That's like a good thing, right? 396 00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:04,089 That's a very good thing. 397 00:21:04,109 --> 00:21:07,059 That's what I'm saying! Write down your number! 398 00:21:09,230 --> 00:21:11,230 You can't get it yet. 399 00:21:11,250 --> 00:21:13,150 But I've got your number. 400 00:21:19,089 --> 00:21:21,150 Hey. 401 00:21:25,039 --> 00:21:27,109 Yup.. 402 00:21:27,130 --> 00:21:29,130 Mmm-mmm-mmm.. 403 00:21:30,230 --> 00:21:33,089 [laughing] 404 00:21:40,099 --> 00:21:42,109 Hold up. 405 00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:56,109 Am I as superficial as all those guys I warned Ashley about? 406 00:21:57,289 --> 00:22:00,089 I mean could it be that I'm more 407 00:22:00,109 --> 00:22:01,259 obsessed with breasts and thighs 408 00:22:01,279 --> 00:22:04,089 than Colonel Sanders ever was? 409 00:22:12,059 --> 00:22:14,079 Mightn't I be able to look deeper? 410 00:22:14,099 --> 00:22:17,220 I mean, to cherish women as full and complete 411 00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:19,240 and complex individuals. 412 00:22:19,259 --> 00:22:23,089 And-and with this new understanding to finally find 413 00:22:23,109 --> 00:22:27,099 and keep this true love that eludes so many of us. 414 00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:31,200 Nah! 415 00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:39,220 Yo, baby, I know your feet must be tired 416 00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:41,240 'cause you been running through my mind all day. 417 00:22:41,259 --> 00:22:43,069 Come here, girl! 418 00:22:50,109 --> 00:22:52,190 How are we supposed to translate Cicero with a bunch of girls 419 00:22:52,210 --> 00:22:55,210 glossing their hair, and glossing their lips 420 00:22:55,230 --> 00:22:57,089 and-and messing up lines 421 00:22:57,109 --> 00:23:01,259 and just trying to cover it, but not being able to do it. 422 00:23:01,279 --> 00:23:04,059 Now, we got a lot of women in the audience. 423 00:23:04,079 --> 00:23:07,180 Any of y'all ever glossed your hair? 424 00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:09,049 Because I don't know. 425 00:23:09,069 --> 00:23:11,000 'Maybe it's a new cult thing or something' 426 00:23:11,019 --> 00:23:12,130 'that I don't know about.'