1
00:00:01,199 --> 00:00:03,240
[instrumental music]

2
00:00:11,060 --> 00:00:14,279
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!

3
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:17,050
Ooh, a little lower,
Geoffrey.

4
00:00:20,250 --> 00:00:22,230
Geoffrey?

5
00:00:22,250 --> 00:00:25,030
- Oh, hi, honey. It's you!
- Uh-huh.

6
00:00:25,050 --> 00:00:26,190
[chuckles]

7
00:00:26,210 --> 00:00:29,190
The kids aren't back from
the airport with Will yet.

8
00:00:29,210 --> 00:00:32,280
Wow, in that case
I have an idea.

9
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:35,039
Ooh! Take no prisoners,
daddy.

10
00:00:35,060 --> 00:00:36,280
[laughs]

11
00:00:39,109 --> 00:00:43,000
Speaking of prisoners,
let's talk about Will.

12
00:00:43,020 --> 00:00:44,049
You know, maybe Bel-Air Prep

13
00:00:44,070 --> 00:00:45,170
isn't the right place
for the boy.

14
00:00:45,189 --> 00:00:48,200
Maybe he could get more from
a different environment.

15
00:00:48,219 --> 00:00:50,179
Mm. So could we.

16
00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:52,090
Come on, I'll race you
to the Jacuzzi.

17
00:00:52,109 --> 00:00:53,149
No, no. Wait a minute, now.

18
00:00:53,170 --> 00:00:56,130
I found a school
that's a little further away

19
00:00:56,149 --> 00:00:58,030
than we're used to.

20
00:00:58,049 --> 00:00:59,289
How much further?

21
00:01:00,009 --> 00:01:01,179
Switzerland.

22
00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:05,060
Now that's settled,
I'll go fire up the Jacuzzi.

23
00:01:05,079 --> 00:01:06,200
Back it up.

24
00:01:06,219 --> 00:01:08,019
Philip,
how could you even suggest

25
00:01:08,039 --> 00:01:10,069
shipping Will off to some
boarding school?

26
00:01:10,090 --> 00:01:13,260
Okay, okay, I'm sorry,
you're absolutely right.

27
00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:17,060
Will's a great kid,
I've even grown to sort of..

28
00:01:17,079 --> 00:01:20,060
Anyway, I'm sorry
I even mentioned Switzerland.

29
00:01:20,079 --> 00:01:21,210
- Okay.
- Okay? Yes.

30
00:01:21,230 --> 00:01:25,060
- You're forgiven.
- Thank you.

31
00:01:25,079 --> 00:01:26,260
Would you consider
Great Britain?

32
00:01:28,019 --> 00:01:30,000
Well, a man can dream, can't he?

33
00:01:30,019 --> 00:01:33,009
Vivian, I'm sorry, it's just
that it's been so peaceful here

34
00:01:33,030 --> 00:01:34,170
since Will's been in Philly.

35
00:01:34,189 --> 00:01:36,289
And boarding school's
not so bad, is it, Geoffrey?

36
00:01:37,009 --> 00:01:39,020
Geoffrey went to boarding
school. Tell her, Geoffrey.

37
00:01:39,039 --> 00:01:41,270
Madam,
I went to boarding school.

38
00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:49,069
And then I went to therapy.

39
00:01:50,289 --> 00:01:52,200
Who asked you? Get my lunch.

40
00:01:52,219 --> 00:01:54,270
Right away, sir.

41
00:01:54,289 --> 00:01:57,030
The man has a tapeworm.

42
00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:05,060
Philip, when Will gets here,
please be nice.

43
00:02:05,079 --> 00:02:08,009
Otherwise, you're going to be
bunking with Mr. Couch.

44
00:02:08,030 --> 00:02:09,080
[scoffs]

45
00:02:09,099 --> 00:02:11,169
[laughs]

46
00:02:11,189 --> 00:02:14,080
Woman, please..

47
00:02:14,099 --> 00:02:17,020
...do you think that you can
manipulate me with sex?

48
00:02:17,039 --> 00:02:18,150
Ha-ha-ha.

49
00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:22,050
Does James Brown have a perm?

50
00:02:25,180 --> 00:02:27,159
[upbeat music]

51
00:02:32,210 --> 00:02:34,159
Oh, Lord, I don't know
whether to dive

52
00:02:34,180 --> 00:02:37,090
under the table
or do the running man.

53
00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:42,090
♪ So back up bucko
or I'll pulverize McGruff ♪

54
00:02:42,110 --> 00:02:44,129
♪ 'Cause this little piggy gets
busy and stuff ♪

55
00:02:44,150 --> 00:02:46,229
♪Arrivederciheavens to mercy
honky tonk I get swift ♪

56
00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:49,069
♪ I caught a Snuffleupagus
and smoked a boogaloo spliff ♪

57
00:02:49,090 --> 00:02:52,039
♪ I got the nooks the crannies
the nitty gritty 40 doe ♪

58
00:02:52,060 --> 00:02:54,289
♪ O-o-h ♪
♪ Where's my boogaloo? ♪

59
00:02:55,009 --> 00:02:57,219
♪ I'm steamin'.. ♪♪

60
00:03:08,219 --> 00:03:12,099
- G!
- Master Will!

61
00:03:13,259 --> 00:03:15,099
Uncle Fink.

62
00:03:19,150 --> 00:03:21,189
Will, it's so nice to
have you home.

63
00:03:24,210 --> 00:03:26,099
[theme song]

64
00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:28,009
♪ Now this is a story ♪

65
00:03:28,030 --> 00:03:31,039
♪ All about how my life got
flipped turned upside down ♪

66
00:03:31,060 --> 00:03:33,159
♪ And I'd like to take a minute
just sit right there ♪

67
00:03:33,180 --> 00:03:34,280
♪ I'll tell you
how I became the prince ♪

68
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:36,210
♪ Of a town called Bel-Air ♪

69
00:03:45,030 --> 00:03:47,240
♪ In West Philadelphia
born and raised ♪

70
00:03:47,259 --> 00:03:50,150
♪ On the playground was where
I spent most of my days ♪

71
00:03:50,170 --> 00:03:52,139
♪ Chillin' out maxin'
relaxin' all cool ♪

72
00:03:52,159 --> 00:03:55,020
♪ And all shootin' some
B-ball
outside of the school ♪

73
00:03:55,039 --> 00:03:57,240
♪ When a couple of guys
who were up to no good ♪

74
00:03:57,259 --> 00:03:59,189
♪ Started makin' trouble
in my neighborhood ♪

75
00:03:59,210 --> 00:04:02,099
♪ I got in one little fight
and my mom got scared and said ♪

76
00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:04,189
♪ You're moving with your
auntie and uncle in Bel-Air ♪

77
00:04:04,210 --> 00:04:06,259
♪ I whistled for a cab
and when it came near ♪

78
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:09,159
♪ The license plate said fresh
and it had dice in the mirror ♪

79
00:04:09,180 --> 00:04:11,150
♪ If anything I can say that
this cab was rare ♪

80
00:04:11,169 --> 00:04:15,169
♪ But I thought nah forget it
yo homes to Bel-Air ♪

81
00:04:15,189 --> 00:04:18,209
♪ I pulled up to a house
about seven or eight ♪

82
00:04:18,230 --> 00:04:21,089
♪ And I yelled to the cabbie
yo homes smell you later ♪

83
00:04:21,110 --> 00:04:23,220
♪ I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there ♪

84
00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:26,170
♪ To sit on my throne
as the prince of Bel-Air ♪

85
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:35,220
Hey, Uncle Phil,
you look great, man.

86
00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:38,159
Hey, you look like
you lost some...hair.

87
00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:42,009
Looks like
the whole Jackson family

88
00:04:42,029 --> 00:04:43,199
could live in those pants.

89
00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:47,079
Daddy, that's how all the
brothers are dressing in Philly.

90
00:04:47,100 --> 00:04:50,029
[scoffs]
No wonder Willy Williams
moved to LA.

91
00:04:51,269 --> 00:04:54,019
Carlton, honey, what
happened?

92
00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:57,000
Will told everyone at the
airport I was Bryant Gumbel.

93
00:05:02,139 --> 00:05:06,019
I mean, I-I thought I'd get
my luggage faster.

94
00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:08,230
Oh, you poor baby, what did they
do? Mob you for autographs?

95
00:05:08,250 --> 00:05:12,129
No, five old ladies attacked me
for being mean to Willard.

96
00:05:14,100 --> 00:05:16,069
Hey, it was worth it.
We got the luggage.

97
00:05:16,089 --> 00:05:18,019
My sister.

98
00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:20,000
Daddy, I need $500.

99
00:05:21,129 --> 00:05:23,279
- Will!
- Hil!

100
00:05:26,029 --> 00:05:28,009
Daddy, I need $500.

101
00:05:29,250 --> 00:05:31,180
Hil, you should
really consider expanding

102
00:05:31,199 --> 00:05:33,180
your vocabulary a little.

103
00:05:33,199 --> 00:05:35,079
Hilary, honey,
if it's for the barbecue

104
00:05:35,100 --> 00:05:37,269
we're catering this
afternoon,
we have already paid you.

105
00:05:37,290 --> 00:05:41,009
Oh, it's not for the
barbecue.
I just want $500.

106
00:05:42,149 --> 00:05:45,110
Oh, come on, Hil, please,
at least kiss him first.

107
00:05:49,240 --> 00:05:51,050
[beeper beeping]

108
00:05:51,069 --> 00:05:55,000
- What is that?
- Oh, that would be Aisha.

109
00:05:55,019 --> 00:05:56,180
Oh, no.

110
00:05:56,199 --> 00:05:58,240
Oh, well, you're-you're
right,
Uncle Phil, wrong area code.

111
00:05:58,259 --> 00:06:01,100
That would be...Stacy.

112
00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:04,129
Vivian, tell me
that's not a beeper.

113
00:06:04,149 --> 00:06:05,250
Can I have one, daddy?

114
00:06:05,269 --> 00:06:08,029
When Jesse Jackson gets a
job.

115
00:06:09,170 --> 00:06:13,060
Will, there'll be no beepers
worn in this house.

116
00:06:13,079 --> 00:06:15,139
Oh, yo, what's up, Uncle Phil?
My mom let me wear it in Philly.

117
00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:17,000
That's because she's your mother
and she loves you.

118
00:06:17,019 --> 00:06:19,069
I'm your uncle.
I just try not to hurt you.

119
00:06:21,180 --> 00:06:24,110
Come on, Uncle Phil, I need to
keep in touch with my tasties.

120
00:06:26,129 --> 00:06:27,180
I beg your pardon?

121
00:06:27,199 --> 00:06:29,199
His tasties, daddy.

122
00:06:29,220 --> 00:06:34,100
You know, his chubbies,
his slimmies, his old ladies?

123
00:06:34,120 --> 00:06:36,250
And who are you?

124
00:06:36,269 --> 00:06:38,149
Queen Latifah?

125
00:06:42,269 --> 00:06:44,060
See, look..

126
00:06:44,079 --> 00:06:46,170
Just think of it as honeys on my
hip, Uncle Phil, you know?

127
00:06:46,189 --> 00:06:49,220
It's like, I need to keep in
touch with my squaws, right?

128
00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:52,189
See, otherwise, you know, they
get all frazzled and frantic

129
00:06:52,209 --> 00:06:54,100
and everything. You know how it
is, right, Uncle Phil?

130
00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:56,000
No, I do not.

131
00:06:56,019 --> 00:06:57,120
Oh, that's because
you only got one squaw

132
00:06:57,139 --> 00:06:59,009
and you'll never go nowhere.

133
00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:03,060
Well, this one squaw says
take your behind upstairs

134
00:07:03,079 --> 00:07:04,279
change, and no beeper.

135
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:07,259
And, Philip, how come
we don't ever go nowhere?

136
00:07:07,279 --> 00:07:09,269
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
hold it, hold it, hold it.

137
00:07:09,290 --> 00:07:13,060
What about my freedom
to express myself?

138
00:07:13,079 --> 00:07:16,029
Will, back off, the big, fat
vein in daddy's head

139
00:07:16,050 --> 00:07:19,009
is starting to throb.

140
00:07:19,029 --> 00:07:21,209
Yeah, and he hasn't given me
my money yet.

141
00:07:21,230 --> 00:07:24,050
No, come on, Hil, we cool, you
know, it ain't really serious

142
00:07:24,069 --> 00:07:26,050
till his right eye
start twitching.

143
00:07:30,089 --> 00:07:32,050
Okay, posse up.

144
00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:38,269
And may I say
that if you go with our firm

145
00:07:38,290 --> 00:07:40,269
it'll be the best decision
you ever made.

146
00:07:40,290 --> 00:07:43,019
Well, enough business talk,
Mr. And Mrs. Cornfeld.

147
00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:44,060
Please, enjoy the party.

148
00:07:44,079 --> 00:07:46,069
- Oh, thank you. Call me Norma.
- Norma.

149
00:07:46,090 --> 00:07:48,040
And you can call me Whitey.

150
00:07:49,209 --> 00:07:51,019
I think not.

151
00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:53,230
Oh, everyone does,
on account of my white hair.

152
00:07:53,250 --> 00:07:55,240
- Oh, oh, the, the white hair.
- Yeah.

153
00:07:55,259 --> 00:07:58,090
[laughs]

154
00:07:58,110 --> 00:08:00,160
Hello. Welcome to our home.

155
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:03,079
- I'm Vivian, Philip's wife.
- Hello.

156
00:08:03,100 --> 00:08:05,060
Vivian, say hi to Whitey.

157
00:08:07,199 --> 00:08:09,029
Hello, Whitey.

158
00:08:10,259 --> 00:08:13,180
Philip, why am I calling that
man Whitey?

159
00:08:13,199 --> 00:08:16,220
Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, mommy.

160
00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:18,279
and daddy.

161
00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:22,230
Oh, look,
it's the entertainment.

162
00:08:22,250 --> 00:08:27,019
Well, this, I think this is our,
our youngest daughter, Ashley.

163
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,250
Uh, she just had a
brain operation.

164
00:08:29,269 --> 00:08:33,159
And her head's a little swollen,
hence the hat.

165
00:08:34,139 --> 00:08:37,259
- Huh?
- Oh, very good, honey.

166
00:08:40,149 --> 00:08:42,070
Ashley, what are you wearing?

167
00:08:42,090 --> 00:08:44,289
Will got it for me in
Philly.
Ain't it fly?

168
00:08:45,009 --> 00:08:48,149
- Switzerland, Vivian.
- Not far enough, Philip.

169
00:08:48,169 --> 00:08:50,139
Ashley, go upstairs
and change right now.

170
00:08:50,159 --> 00:08:52,000
But I like it.

171
00:08:52,019 --> 00:08:54,009
And if I don't wear it,
it'll hurt Will's feelings.

172
00:08:54,029 --> 00:08:57,059
If you do wear it,
you'll never see 18.

173
00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:59,149
- I never liked Will, anyway.
- Hmm.

174
00:09:01,059 --> 00:09:05,230
- Will, you must change.
- Carlton, you must grow.

175
00:09:05,250 --> 00:09:08,049
Will, you better change
before dad sees you.

176
00:09:08,070 --> 00:09:10,149
What are you talking about, man?
I'm making a statement.

177
00:09:10,169 --> 00:09:12,210
What statement?
"I'm out on parole?"

178
00:09:13,269 --> 00:09:15,200
Will, get away
from the buffet table.

179
00:09:15,220 --> 00:09:18,200
Your jail suit is scaring
the people away.

180
00:09:18,220 --> 00:09:23,039
With all due respect,
Hilary,
it's not Will's fault,
it's..

181
00:09:23,059 --> 00:09:26,009
How shall I put this?

182
00:09:26,029 --> 00:09:28,159
The food sucks.

183
00:09:28,179 --> 00:09:32,159
Man, what are you talking about?
It looks good to me.

184
00:09:32,179 --> 00:09:35,200
Uh-oh! The pepper's moving.

185
00:09:38,220 --> 00:09:42,039
That is the last time I buy
sushi out of the trunk of a car.

186
00:09:45,049 --> 00:09:46,139
Tuna roll?

187
00:09:48,100 --> 00:09:50,190
Will, take off those clothes.

188
00:09:50,210 --> 00:09:52,220
[chuckles]
Well, I would, Aunt Viv,
but I wouldn't want to

189
00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:54,070
make all your guests
jealous.

190
00:09:55,230 --> 00:09:57,259
Will, please, these are very
important clients.

191
00:09:57,279 --> 00:10:00,259
At least take off that
ridiculous hat.

192
00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:07,019
Wonderful party, Banks.

193
00:10:07,039 --> 00:10:08,220
You really know
how to court a client.

194
00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:10,230
Oh, thank you.

195
00:10:13,129 --> 00:10:15,269
Um, this is my nephew, Will.

196
00:10:15,289 --> 00:10:18,019
And, um, this is his hair.

197
00:10:19,039 --> 00:10:20,129
It's a pleasure to
meet you both.

198
00:10:20,149 --> 00:10:21,200
How are you doing?

199
00:10:21,220 --> 00:10:23,190
- Hello.
- Call me Whitey.

200
00:10:26,129 --> 00:10:29,019
Oh, no, no, no,
I'm gonna call you that

201
00:10:29,039 --> 00:10:30,070
then you gonna call me
the other thing

202
00:10:30,090 --> 00:10:31,279
and we're gonna be here
fighting.

203
00:10:33,029 --> 00:10:35,279
Will, Whitey is the
president

204
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:38,169
of a very prestigious
savings and loan.

205
00:10:38,190 --> 00:10:39,240
Oh, really?

206
00:10:39,259 --> 00:10:41,059
Guess a lot of your buddies
wearing suits

207
00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:42,240
like this now, huh?

208
00:10:47,250 --> 00:10:51,019
Um, wh-why don't we
just go over here, and..

209
00:10:51,039 --> 00:10:54,059
Um, ju.. Move it over here,
Whitey.

210
00:10:59,110 --> 00:11:01,139
- You alright, Uncle Phil?
- Will.

211
00:11:01,159 --> 00:11:04,139
You just insulted a potential..
Will, put your hat on.

212
00:11:04,159 --> 00:11:05,289
You just told me
to take my hat off.

213
00:11:06,009 --> 00:11:07,159
Put it on!

214
00:11:08,059 --> 00:11:10,250
[beeper beeping]

215
00:11:10,269 --> 00:11:13,190
Oh, that's me. Chill, fellas.
I got that right here.

216
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:20,139
That's Stacy again, sweatin' me.

217
00:11:22,259 --> 00:11:24,240
You want to handle this one,
big guy, or shall I?

218
00:11:24,259 --> 00:11:27,070
- Shut up, Carlton.
- Good call.

219
00:11:29,169 --> 00:11:34,039
Will, I told you there will
be
no beepers worn in my house.

220
00:11:34,059 --> 00:11:36,269
Oh, well, I-I didn't really
disobey you, Uncle Phil

221
00:11:36,289 --> 00:11:39,220
'cause, see technically
we not in the house.

222
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:41,250
- Smog.
- Get rid of that thing.

223
00:11:41,269 --> 00:11:43,159
Oh, come on, Uncle Phil,
what's wrong?

224
00:11:43,179 --> 00:11:45,149
Do you think everybody's gonna
think I'm a drug dealer?

225
00:11:45,169 --> 00:11:47,129
I mean, why wouldn't they think
I'm a doctor?

226
00:11:47,149 --> 00:11:50,129
'Cause everyone knows Buckwheat
never went to medical school.

227
00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:56,179
Will, put your hat back on.

228
00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:58,259
I'm so confused.

229
00:11:58,279 --> 00:12:00,210
Well, let me, uh, clarify it
for you, Will.

230
00:12:00,230 --> 00:12:02,129
Get rid of the hair,
get rid of the clothes

231
00:12:02,149 --> 00:12:04,100
and give me the beeper.

232
00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:07,059
I don't really think that
Stacy's your type, Uncle Phil.

233
00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:09,100
Do you think that just because
there are a lot of people around

234
00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:12,080
you can defy me openly
and get away with it?

235
00:12:12,100 --> 00:12:13,129
Well, I was kind of hoping,
since--

236
00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:15,009
Get upstairs!

237
00:12:15,029 --> 00:12:18,129
Uncle Phil, man, why you making
such a big deal about this?

238
00:12:18,149 --> 00:12:22,070
Boy, as long as you live in my
house, you will do what I say.

239
00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:26,159
Maybe I won't be in your house,
then.

240
00:12:26,179 --> 00:12:28,149
Good.

241
00:12:28,169 --> 00:12:32,000
- Well, alright.
- Yeah.

242
00:12:32,019 --> 00:12:34,169
- Well, I'm out of here, then.
- Bye.

243
00:12:43,230 --> 00:12:45,250
And what are you looking at,
Whitey?

244
00:12:49,159 --> 00:12:52,000
[instrumental music]

245
00:12:55,259 --> 00:12:58,080
Oh, I-I'll help you with those,
ma'am.

246
00:12:58,100 --> 00:13:00,190
No, you won't, worm head.

247
00:13:02,139 --> 00:13:05,080
And there's more where
that come from, chump.

248
00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:12,029
[knocking]

249
00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:16,259
- Aah!
- Aah!

250
00:13:16,279 --> 00:13:18,009
What's up, man?

251
00:13:18,029 --> 00:13:20,250
- What's up, J?
- When did you get back?

252
00:13:20,269 --> 00:13:22,080
I just got back this
morning,
man.

253
00:13:22,100 --> 00:13:25,230
- Man, welcome home. Later.
- Alright.

254
00:13:25,250 --> 00:13:28,230
Jazz! Jazz!

255
00:13:30,289 --> 00:13:33,220
- Weren't you just here?
- I've been gone all summer.

256
00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:35,250
Isn't there something else
you'd like to say to me?

257
00:13:35,269 --> 00:13:38,080
Now that you mention it, yeah.

258
00:13:38,100 --> 00:13:41,029
You dating Whoopi Goldberg?

259
00:13:41,049 --> 00:13:43,039
How about come in, man?
I need a place to crash.

260
00:13:43,059 --> 00:13:45,190
Whoa. You got a place to crash.

261
00:13:45,210 --> 00:13:48,009
A mansion with a pool,
a tennis court

262
00:13:48,029 --> 00:13:50,230
and a toilet that flushes
without using a coat hanger.

263
00:13:52,049 --> 00:13:56,240
- Not no more, man.
- Dang, your toilet broke, too?

264
00:13:56,259 --> 00:13:58,289
No, Jazz, it's my uncle, man.
He kicking me all this
static.

265
00:13:59,009 --> 00:14:01,190
I told him, "You can't accept me
for me, I'm out of here."

266
00:14:01,210 --> 00:14:03,159
I'm with you, my brother.

267
00:14:04,159 --> 00:14:06,049
So, I can stay with you?

268
00:14:06,070 --> 00:14:08,279
No. I already have company.

269
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:10,230
What company?

270
00:14:10,250 --> 00:14:12,120
Company with breasts.

271
00:14:14,220 --> 00:14:15,259
Look, Jazz, can you ask them

272
00:14:15,279 --> 00:14:17,139
to come back another time,
please?

273
00:14:17,159 --> 00:14:21,240
(female #1)
'Jazz, I'm getting lonely.'

274
00:14:21,259 --> 00:14:23,009
They're lonely.

275
00:14:24,190 --> 00:14:26,029
Come on, Jazz, if you don't
let me stay here

276
00:14:26,049 --> 00:14:27,139
I'mma be out on the street, man.

277
00:14:27,159 --> 00:14:30,149
(female #1)
'Jazz..'

278
00:14:30,169 --> 00:14:31,200
Sorry, my brother..

279
00:14:31,220 --> 00:14:33,090
...but those are
the harsh realities

280
00:14:33,110 --> 00:14:37,000
of the cruel world
in which we habitate.

281
00:14:37,019 --> 00:14:39,159
And now, booty awaits me.

282
00:14:43,220 --> 00:14:46,090
Jazz, man, if our friendship
means anything to you

283
00:14:46,110 --> 00:14:48,080
you'll open this door right now.

284
00:14:48,100 --> 00:14:49,289
I walked ten miles
and took four buses

285
00:14:50,009 --> 00:14:52,000
to get here, now open this door.

286
00:14:55,049 --> 00:14:57,100
That's more like it.

287
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:00,230
[screaming]

288
00:15:03,029 --> 00:15:04,190
Don't tell me I can't stay at
your crib.

289
00:15:04,210 --> 00:15:06,059
Well, we, we supposed to be
boys.

290
00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:08,240
You got some girl up in there,
you won't..

291
00:15:08,259 --> 00:15:12,110
Hey, what's up, man?

292
00:15:12,129 --> 00:15:14,269
Dang, I thought I was having
a bad hair day.

293
00:15:17,009 --> 00:15:19,120
Hey, you know,
you going bald, man.

294
00:15:19,139 --> 00:15:22,110
You about to look like
my uncle in a minute.

295
00:15:22,129 --> 00:15:24,110
I never had a dog, man, so..

296
00:15:24,129 --> 00:15:27,009
You know, we going to swing out
for a little bit, alright?

297
00:15:27,029 --> 00:15:30,200
You're the only friend I got,
man.

298
00:15:30,220 --> 00:15:32,110
Oh, man!

299
00:15:32,129 --> 00:15:35,159
This is a black thing, right?
You're going to pee on my foot.

300
00:15:35,179 --> 00:15:37,230
Alright, you got that.

301
00:15:37,250 --> 00:15:39,120
Damn!

302
00:15:39,139 --> 00:15:42,019
[automated message]
'You are too close
to the vehicle.'

303
00:15:42,039 --> 00:15:43,220
Who said that?

304
00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:46,100
[automated message]
'You are too close
to the vehicle.'

305
00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:48,100
I heard you the first time.

306
00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:50,279
[automated message]
'You have ten seconds
to move away'

307
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,029
'before the alarm activates.'

308
00:15:54,139 --> 00:15:57,009
Oh, really now?

309
00:15:57,029 --> 00:15:59,169
[humming]

310
00:16:03,190 --> 00:16:05,169
Ten seconds,
I knew you was full of it.

311
00:16:05,190 --> 00:16:06,279
[horn honks and siren wails]

312
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,240
Shh! Chill, chill!

313
00:16:11,110 --> 00:16:13,120
Who are you talking to, son?

314
00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:15,059
Uh, well, ac-actually

315
00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:17,259
I wa-I was talking
to the car, officer.

316
00:16:17,279 --> 00:16:19,289
Oh, the car talks?

317
00:16:20,009 --> 00:16:21,169
Oh, no, it's kind of fly,
actually. Check it out.

318
00:16:21,190 --> 00:16:23,220
Check it out, check it out,
Check it out.

319
00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:25,169
- Uh-uh.
- No, no, chill, no, watch.

320
00:16:25,190 --> 00:16:27,149
[indistinct chatter]

321
00:16:29,289 --> 00:16:32,009
No, no, wait, wait, hold it.
Check it out, check it out.

322
00:16:33,139 --> 00:16:34,259
The car, it say,
"Move or I'll kill you"

323
00:16:34,279 --> 00:16:36,139
or something like that.

324
00:16:43,049 --> 00:16:44,220
Guess the cat's got its tongue.

325
00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:50,169
Damn!

326
00:16:55,059 --> 00:16:57,240
[automated message]
'You are too close
to the vehicle.'

327
00:16:59,230 --> 00:17:02,129
[instrumental music]

328
00:17:03,190 --> 00:17:05,150
Philip, Will's been gone
for seven hours now.

329
00:17:05,170 --> 00:17:07,019
What if something's happened
to him?

330
00:17:07,039 --> 00:17:09,039
Don't try to cheer me up,
Vivian.

331
00:17:10,140 --> 00:17:12,049
Philip, I'm serious.
Do something.

332
00:17:12,069 --> 00:17:13,230
What do you want me to do?
I've got Geoffrey out

333
00:17:13,250 --> 00:17:15,049
scouring the city.

334
00:17:15,069 --> 00:17:17,200
I'm terribly sorry, sir,
I've looked everywhere.

335
00:17:17,220 --> 00:17:21,029
There isn't an ice cream
sandwich left in this town.

336
00:17:23,069 --> 00:17:25,119
Vivian. Viv..

337
00:17:27,019 --> 00:17:28,130
Ashley,
what are you doing out of bed?

338
00:17:28,150 --> 00:17:29,250
I'm worried about Will.

339
00:17:29,269 --> 00:17:31,190
Why did you throw him out
into the street, daddy?

340
00:17:31,210 --> 00:17:33,099
I did not throw him
into the street.

341
00:17:33,119 --> 00:17:35,250
Quite right, sir.
You threw him on the lawn.

342
00:17:35,269 --> 00:17:38,019
He rolled into the street.

343
00:17:41,019 --> 00:17:43,140
Daddy, we couldn't find Will
anywhere.

344
00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:45,049
And sorry,
no ice cream sandwiches.

345
00:17:45,069 --> 00:17:46,210
Shh!

346
00:17:48,220 --> 00:17:52,009
Well, looks like you really blew
it this time, huh, big guy?

347
00:17:52,029 --> 00:17:54,210
I just hope the Willster's
still breathing.

348
00:17:59,230 --> 00:18:03,009
Will! Oh, honey,
thank God you're safe.

349
00:18:03,029 --> 00:18:06,049
- Hi, Aunt Viv.
- Oh, you stink.

350
00:18:06,069 --> 00:18:08,160
Boy, it's good to be home.

351
00:18:08,180 --> 00:18:12,130
- Is there a problem, officer?
- Oh, oh, right, right.

352
00:18:12,150 --> 00:18:14,069
Just 'cause I come in the crib
in the middle of the night

353
00:18:14,089 --> 00:18:17,170
escorted by a police officer,
you think something's wrong.

354
00:18:17,190 --> 00:18:19,059
See how he be trying to play me,
Fred?

355
00:18:19,079 --> 00:18:22,049
Thank you so much for bringing
him home, officer.

356
00:18:23,230 --> 00:18:25,119
Well, Will,
I guess I better beat it.

357
00:18:25,140 --> 00:18:27,049
Whoa!

358
00:18:29,220 --> 00:18:32,160
- Goodnight, folks.
- 'Goodnight.'

359
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:38,029
What, I got a boogie?

360
00:18:40,230 --> 00:18:42,220
Will, I am very disappointed
in you.

361
00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:44,180
I can't believe the trouble
you've caused this family.

362
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:47,230
Your aunt's right. You've been
back from Philly one day.

363
00:18:47,250 --> 00:18:50,000
You insult a client and you
storm out of this house

364
00:18:50,019 --> 00:18:52,160
like a crazy man and worry this
family half to death.

365
00:18:52,180 --> 00:18:53,259
And I don't appreciate
the influence

366
00:18:53,279 --> 00:18:55,130
you're having on your cousin
Ashley.

367
00:18:55,150 --> 00:18:58,079
He's not a bad influence on me,
daddy.

368
00:18:58,099 --> 00:19:00,049
I have a mind of my own.

369
00:19:01,099 --> 00:19:03,160
If that's okay with you.

370
00:19:05,210 --> 00:19:08,069
See, see, look at that. It's
like you got her
brainwashed.

371
00:19:08,089 --> 00:19:11,170
That's right, and it took me
13 years to do it.

372
00:19:11,190 --> 00:19:13,259
- Dad, can I say something?
- What is it, Carlton?

373
00:19:13,279 --> 00:19:15,259
You forgot the part
about Will getting arrested.

374
00:19:15,279 --> 00:19:17,130
Come on, man.

375
00:19:17,150 --> 00:19:19,069
Oh, y'all trying to play me like
that, right?

376
00:19:19,089 --> 00:19:23,059
Oh, wh-what if he told you that
you couldn't wear plaid anymore?

377
00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:26,140
Don't joke about that, Will.

378
00:19:28,039 --> 00:19:30,089
Hey, and what if he told
you that

379
00:19:30,109 --> 00:19:33,230
you couldn't entertain men in
the Jacuzzi anymore?

380
00:19:33,250 --> 00:19:36,140
When did you have a man
in the Jacuzzi?

381
00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:38,259
This isn't about me.
It's about Will.

382
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:43,250
Come on y'all.
It's about all of us.

383
00:19:43,269 --> 00:19:45,240
I mean, look,
we-we're young adults here.

384
00:19:45,259 --> 00:19:47,279
I mean, we have a right
to our own opinions.

385
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:49,170
Yeah!

386
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:55,289
Look, today it's my beeper

387
00:19:56,009 --> 00:19:58,000
I mean, tomorrow it's going to
be who you can date

388
00:19:58,019 --> 00:20:01,130
or-or how to vote,
or what college to go to.

389
00:20:01,150 --> 00:20:04,250
That's such bulldoody.

390
00:20:04,269 --> 00:20:06,190
Dad knows I'm going to Yale.

391
00:20:06,210 --> 00:20:07,289
You're going to Princeton.

392
00:20:08,009 --> 00:20:11,230
I don't want to go to Princeton.

393
00:20:11,250 --> 00:20:13,049
Hold on a minute.

394
00:20:13,069 --> 00:20:16,069
I want to know when you had a
man in the Jacuzzi.

395
00:20:16,089 --> 00:20:17,240
Look, that's my private
life.

396
00:20:17,259 --> 00:20:20,099
That's between me, that man,
and his video camera.

397
00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:21,220
Vivian..

398
00:20:26,119 --> 00:20:29,119
Look, Uncle Phil, I-I'm saying,
wh-what's the difference

399
00:20:29,140 --> 00:20:31,289
between me wearing this
and you in the '60s?

400
00:20:32,009 --> 00:20:34,079
You wore a dashiki and an Afro.

401
00:20:35,210 --> 00:20:37,170
But I was making
a cultural statement.

402
00:20:37,190 --> 00:20:39,269
You're just drawing attention
to yourself.

403
00:20:39,289 --> 00:20:42,150
But now correct me
if I'm wrong..

404
00:20:42,170 --> 00:20:46,230
But you don't think a six foot
three, 250-pound black dude

405
00:20:46,250 --> 00:20:49,200
in a dashiki and an Afro
the size of West Philly

406
00:20:49,220 --> 00:20:52,069
is drawing attention to himself?

407
00:20:52,089 --> 00:20:54,089
Will, I am just
trying to save you

408
00:20:54,109 --> 00:20:56,019
from going through
the same hassles

409
00:20:56,039 --> 00:20:57,160
that I went through.

410
00:20:57,180 --> 00:20:59,210
But I'm saying, why would you
want to?

411
00:20:59,230 --> 00:21:02,150
I mean, look how good
you turned out.

412
00:21:02,170 --> 00:21:03,180
Yeah, daddy.

413
00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:05,210
He's got you there, big guy.

414
00:21:07,109 --> 00:21:09,029
I'm with Will, dad.

415
00:21:11,150 --> 00:21:12,190
Oh.

416
00:21:12,210 --> 00:21:14,170
[chuckles]

417
00:21:14,190 --> 00:21:17,059
Good.

418
00:21:17,079 --> 00:21:18,279
Well, Will..

419
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:21,220
...I hate to admit it,
but I guess you have a point.

420
00:21:22,279 --> 00:21:24,019
I do?

421
00:21:24,039 --> 00:21:25,109
Just because you live
in my house

422
00:21:25,130 --> 00:21:27,220
doesn't mean I can control you.

423
00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:29,019
It don't?

424
00:21:29,039 --> 00:21:32,109
So, you can express yourself
any way you want to.

425
00:21:32,130 --> 00:21:36,039
Keep the clothes,
keep the hair and the beeper.

426
00:21:37,039 --> 00:21:39,119
Knock yourself out.

427
00:21:40,049 --> 00:21:42,079
Alright.

428
00:21:42,099 --> 00:21:44,130
But you know,
now, I've been thinking.

429
00:21:44,150 --> 00:21:49,190
You know, I have a, a need to
express myself, too.

430
00:21:51,049 --> 00:21:52,220
Well, I don't know, Uncle Phil,
you-you might be able to

431
00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:54,269
get one little twist
right here in the back..

432
00:21:54,289 --> 00:21:56,089
[laughs]

433
00:21:58,150 --> 00:22:01,059
No, no, no, that's not quite
what I had in mind.

434
00:22:01,079 --> 00:22:05,140
You see, I can't force you to do
anything you don't want to do.

435
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:09,049
But these...are my kids.

436
00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:17,140
So, as long as you keep the
hair, the clothes and the beeper

437
00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:19,200
you're all grounded.

438
00:22:22,119 --> 00:22:24,150
Goodnight.

439
00:22:29,220 --> 00:22:31,170
Nice try.

440
00:22:34,150 --> 00:22:36,109
Alright, look y'all,
this is a classic case

441
00:22:36,130 --> 00:22:37,140
of divide and conquer.

442
00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:40,049
Look, Malcolm warned us
about this.

443
00:22:40,069 --> 00:22:42,029
Get him!

444
00:22:42,049 --> 00:22:43,269
[instrumental music]

445
00:22:47,220 --> 00:22:49,000
Hey, so you know, we're gonna

446
00:22:49,019 --> 00:22:50,230
swing out for a little while,
alright?

447
00:22:50,250 --> 00:22:52,279
'Cause you're the only friend
I've got right now, alright?

448
00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:54,200
(female #2)
'Lift! Lift!'

449
00:22:57,230 --> 00:22:59,170
'Lift!'

450
00:22:59,190 --> 00:23:01,109
'Lift! Lift!'