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Ribeiro: "AFV's" on.
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Spoiler alert --
It looks like this.
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♪♪
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[ Laughs ]
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[ Laughs ]
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[ Woman screams ]
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Woman: I let you be
for one second.
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Woman #2: Holly.
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We're not playing beer pong.
Okay?
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♪♪
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Oh!
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[ Cheers and applause ]
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Welcome to...
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And now here he is,
the host of our show --
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Alfonso Ribeiro!
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Let's do it, y'all!
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[ Cheers and applause ]
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Love you, love you, love you.
Thank you, guys.
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Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
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Welcome to the show.
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A show I like to call
"America's Funniest Home
Videos."
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Why? Well, that's because
that's the title.
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I'm -- I'm funny that way.
Yeah. Yeah.
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people by their actual names.
I like to call things and
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remember your name,
Unless I don't
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and then you're just "Buddy."
[ Laughs ] Yeah, yeah.
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great at showing funny videos,
Look, what can I say? I'm
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and I'm great with names.
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[ Woman speaks indistinctly ]
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Taking your dog for a spin
on the hoverboard is fun,
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except for the whole
"get dizzy" part.
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Whoa.
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Woman: Aah!
Aah!
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[ Clatter ]
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You can't even...
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I'd say it's safe to be
on your phone
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while you're climbing
the step stool,
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but that would be a crock...
pot.
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too long.
Don't leave it in there
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Oh, my God!
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♪♪
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She's trying to get
someone's attention
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by throwing stuff
at the window.
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Even though there's a few
thousand tiny rocks right
there,
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she goes for the giant Slinky.
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♪♪
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Woman: How'd you get it
to suction to your forehead?
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[ Laughs ]
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Are I scaring you?
I'm sorry.
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I'm probably gonna have
a big bruise there.
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Oh, my gosh.
Oh, no. It won't come off!
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[ Laughs ] Oh!
Oh! Oh!
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[ Laughs ]
It's bruised.
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It's like a hickey.
[ Laughs ]
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...like Kailey.
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And if you're watching this...
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So yeah.
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See? I'm not scared.
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Woman: Oh!
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[ Calling ]
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Come on over here.
Come on, dog.
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Come on.
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[ Calling ]
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Come on, dog.
Come here.
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You want to go outside?
Come on.
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[ Calling ]
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Come here.
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Come on.
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Woman: It's a trick, Ferris.
[ Laughs ]
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[ Speaking indistinctly ]
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[ Cat meows ]
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Aah!
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[ Doorbell rings ]
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So...not a cat fan.
Ribeiro:
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♪♪
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♪♪
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Get ready to boop some snoots.
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We're going to the "Dog Park."
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[ Dog barking ]
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Woman: Is this a bone?
Can I have some?
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Biscuit, can I have a bone?
Can I have it?
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Are you -- Oh, look at
your eyes turning.
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[ Laughs ]
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Big bone. Big tongue.
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Bigger attitude.
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Can I take it?
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Aah!
[ Biscuit barks ]
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[ Biscuit snarls ]
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[ Biscuit barking ]
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Aah!
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they could have tied him to.
So many things
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the folding chair.
They went with
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My God.
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[ Dog whining ]
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Oh!
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Woman: Wait. Wait.
Are you trying to go shopping?
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What are you doing?
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She wants to hit the mall.
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She needs some nice shoes
to go with that purse.
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There's nothing in there.
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Um, ma'am.
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Here. You --
You want to go to the store,
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and you have
to get the keys?
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Oh, now -- now
you're wearing a purse.
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That's very nice.
That's --
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[ Laughs ]
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[ Women laugh ]
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I don't know if
he's having fun
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or just pointing out that
you're behind on your yard
work.
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[ Women laugh ]
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Go on back in!
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Why are you like this?
Woman:
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[ Laughs ]
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Look at you.
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Oh, dear God.
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So I came home from work,
Woman #2:
and...
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he had gotten
ahold of my shoe.
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Ripley, come here.
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Ripley. Come here.
[ Clicks tongue ]
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Come here. Come here.
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Let's see.
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Come here.
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Did you do this?
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Did you do this
to Mama's shoe?
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Ripley.
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That's a no-no.
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You don't chew on shoes.
Look at me.
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No, no.
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You don't chew
on shoes, Ripley.
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Ribeiro: This is what happens
when there's only one spot
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in the house that gets sun.
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Woman: Piper,
that's not nice to Spencer.
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♪♪
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[ Cheers and applause ]
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the late spring to the early
Wedding season extends from
fall.
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Venues are cheaper
in the winter,
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are just as funny.
but the videos
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Why do I point this out?
Well, I have two daughters
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whose weddings I may have
to pay for one day,
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push them in that direction.
and I'm hoping this might
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[ Laughs ]
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♪ Girl, I'm 'bout have
a panic attack ♪
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♪ I did the work,
it didn't work ♪
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♪ Ah, ah ♪
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♪ That truth, it hurts,
I know it hurts ♪
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♪ That lovey-dovey,
was not a fan of it ♪
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♪ I'm good with my friends ♪
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♪ I don't want a man, girl ♪
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♪ I'm in my bed, I'm way
too fine to be here alone ♪
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♪ On other hand,
I know my worth ♪
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♪ Ah, ah ♪
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♪ And now he callin' me,
why do I feel like this? ♪
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♪ What's happenin' to me? ♪
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♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
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♪ Am I ready?
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♪ Girl, there ain't a doubt ♪
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♪ Am I ready? ♪
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♪ What you talkin' 'bout? ♪
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♪ Am I ready? ♪
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♪ You gon' figure it out ♪
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♪ To be loved? ♪
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♪ To be loved? ♪
163
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♪ Am I ready? ♪
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♪ You deserve it now ♪
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♪ 'Cause I want it ♪
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I'm talkin' about ♪
♪ That's what
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♪ Am I ready? ♪
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♪ You gon' figure it out ♪
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♪ To be loved? ♪
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♪ To be loved? ♪
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♪ Am I ready?
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♪ Girl, there ain't a doubt ♪
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♪ Am I ready? ♪
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00:07:01,187 --> 00:07:02,989
♪ What you talkin' 'bout? ♪
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♪ Am I ready? ♪
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♪ You gon' figure it out ♪
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00:07:05,959 --> 00:07:07,460
♪ To be loved? ♪
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00:07:07,460 --> 00:07:09,129
♪ To be loved? ♪
179
00:07:09,129 --> 00:07:10,597
♪ Am I ready? ♪
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♪ You deserve it now ♪
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♪ 'Cause I want it ♪
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I'm talkin' about ♪
♪ That's what
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♪ Am I ready? ♪
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♪ You gon' figure it out ♪
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♪ To be loved? ♪
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♪ To be loved? ♪
187
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♪ Am I ready? ♪
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♪ Am I ready? ♪
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Do you have a funny video
worth $20,000?
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What are you waiting for?
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Upload it to AFV.com.
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♪ To be loved? ♪
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♪ To be loved?
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♪ Am I ready? ♪
195
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♪ You deserve it now ♪
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♪ 'Cause I want it ♪
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♪♪
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just hit 8 billion people.
The world population
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Crazy, right?
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00:07:48,568 --> 00:07:50,704
I mean, when I was a kid,
there was 4 billion.
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And when my dad was a kid,
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75 people on Earth. Mm-hmm.
they were just
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Yeah, m-my numbers might be
off, a little off.
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as the population grows,
But, anyway,
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of funny videos will grow,
the number
too.
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for another 500 million years!
So we could be on the air
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00:08:03,950 --> 00:08:06,019
[ Cheers and applause ]
Or...
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00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:07,187
Or thereabouts. Yeah.
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Again, not a math guy.
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You either give him nuts,
or he'll go nuts.
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♪♪
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Woman: [ Gasps ]
You're in trouble!
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He's eating the screen!
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00:08:27,807 --> 00:08:29,876
Man:
For the fifth time...
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00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:37,650
Whoa.
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00:08:37,650 --> 00:08:39,853
I don't get it.
What is it?
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What is it?
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Woman: Try again.
Try again.
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W-H-O. Who! Whoa!
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[ Laughs ]
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♪♪
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[ Gasps ]
223
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:57,003
Aah! Aah!
224
00:08:57,003 --> 00:08:59,806
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah!
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the chipmunk out of the house.
Ribeiro: He's trying to get
226
00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:03,777
Not on the clothes!
Aah!
227
00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:06,613
he's not a professional.
I'm guessing
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There he is!
229
00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:10,884
No, no! Aaahhh!
230
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,118
Woman: Let me do it.
231
00:09:12,118 --> 00:09:13,553
Oh! Oh, oh, oh!
232
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:14,621
Aaahhh!
233
00:09:14,621 --> 00:09:15,922
Aaahh! Aah!
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00:09:15,922 --> 00:09:17,724
Go, go, go!
235
00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:19,926
Move! Out of my way!
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00:09:19,926 --> 00:09:21,161
Go.
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00:09:21,161 --> 00:09:23,063
Run!
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00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:25,932
Aah! No! No!
239
00:09:25,932 --> 00:09:27,233
Did you know that right now
240
00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:29,469
there's another baby
growing in Mama's tummy?
241
00:09:29,469 --> 00:09:31,137
Wow. Who is it?
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00:09:31,137 --> 00:09:33,506
We don't know.
[ Laughs ]
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00:09:33,506 --> 00:09:35,341
We don't know
if it's a little boy baby
244
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or a little girl baby yet,
245
00:09:36,676 --> 00:09:40,914
but there's a little baby
growing in Mama's tummy.
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make you feel?
How does that
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00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:45,452
I think that we can,
but...
248
00:09:47,353 --> 00:09:49,556
We don't need
what anymore?
249
00:09:49,556 --> 00:09:51,124
We don't need
that one anymore?
250
00:09:51,124 --> 00:09:54,027
[ Man laughs ]
251
00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:57,697
So just give Declan back
and trade him in?
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00:09:57,697 --> 00:09:59,899
Yeah.
"Yeah"?
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♪♪
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Children: Hey, Alfonso!
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00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:09,209
Hey, Alfonso.
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00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:10,643
Show us some more...
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00:10:10,643 --> 00:10:12,278
Magic videos.
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Okay, Trinity and Zari.
[ Laughs ]
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00:10:14,914 --> 00:10:16,516
You want more magic videos?
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00:10:16,516 --> 00:10:20,420
Well, abracadabra. Let's see
how these magic videos grab
ya.
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00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:21,888
First one?
All of them.
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all of your magic tricks.
Woman: Yeah, show us
Oh. Okay.
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Here. Cally, you see
the bunny, right?
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00:10:27,427 --> 00:10:28,761
Yeah.
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00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:32,665
You don't see it!
266
00:10:32,665 --> 00:10:34,634
[ Laughter ]
267
00:10:38,204 --> 00:10:39,539
You see it!
268
00:10:39,539 --> 00:10:42,242
[ Laughter ]
269
00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:44,644
Ladies and gentlemen,
270
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:47,780
presenting the terrific,
the magnificent,
271
00:10:47,780 --> 00:10:52,051
the world's one and only
Esther Meddar!
272
00:10:52,051 --> 00:10:56,489
She's going to disappear
right before your very eyes.
273
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,758
Are you ready?
[ Baby cries ]
274
00:10:58,758 --> 00:11:00,493
Yes, you are.
275
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,362
Here we go!
276
00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:05,231
♪♪
277
00:11:05,231 --> 00:11:06,399
Voilà!
278
00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:08,001
Woman: Ooh!
279
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,769
♪♪
280
00:11:09,769 --> 00:11:13,039
[ Laughing ]
281
00:11:13,039 --> 00:11:14,974
Woman: Where'd Daddy go?
[ Laughs ]
282
00:11:14,974 --> 00:11:16,910
Where did he go?
283
00:11:16,910 --> 00:11:18,511
Where'd Daddy go?
284
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:19,646
[ Gasps ]
285
00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:26,586
this pencil float, okay?
I'm gonna make
286
00:11:26,586 --> 00:11:28,021
Okay, ready?
287
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:33,293
♪♪
288
00:11:33,293 --> 00:11:35,995
Woman: [ Laughs ]
[ Laughs ]
289
00:11:35,995 --> 00:11:37,263
It's cool.
290
00:11:37,263 --> 00:11:39,666
It's cool.
[ Laughs ]
291
00:11:42,635 --> 00:11:44,504
[ Laughs ]
292
00:11:44,504 --> 00:11:46,439
Watch the ball. But you're
gonna guess which hand.
293
00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:48,041
left or right?
Which hand right now --
294
00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:49,309
Blow on the hand again,
Watch.
though.
295
00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:50,543
Blow on the hand.
Completely gone.
296
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:51,744
[ Laughs ]
297
00:11:51,744 --> 00:11:54,447
Hey, a little more.
Watch, watch, watch.
No.
298
00:11:54,447 --> 00:11:57,016
A little bigger,
a little bigger. Watch. Okay.
299
00:11:57,016 --> 00:11:58,651
This one.
Which one right now?
300
00:11:58,651 --> 00:11:59,886
Oh, no, no, no.
No!
301
00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:01,187
go in the hand.
You're gonna see it
302
00:12:01,187 --> 00:12:02,589
left or right?
Which one right now --
This one.
303
00:12:02,589 --> 00:12:03,823
Blow on the hand.
Watch. Blow on the hand.
304
00:12:03,823 --> 00:12:05,191
Watch. Watch. Come on.
305
00:12:05,191 --> 00:12:07,694
This one.
Shut up!
306
00:12:07,694 --> 00:12:09,329
How are you doing it?
Just watch.
307
00:12:09,329 --> 00:12:11,130
it's hard to -- Which one?
No, it -- You know,
308
00:12:11,130 --> 00:12:12,899
It's hard to see
'cause when I put it in,
309
00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:14,434
you can't actually tell
which one it goes in.
This one.
310
00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:16,402
guessing, or you know which
Are you actually just
one it is?
311
00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:18,905
No, it's in this one.
Okay, blow. It's gone.
312
00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:21,140
Shut up.
So we're gonna --
hand above, hand below.
313
00:12:21,140 --> 00:12:22,609
One hand just below.
314
00:12:22,609 --> 00:12:24,277
and it's gonna be a complete
Then we're gonna slam down,
vanish.
315
00:12:24,277 --> 00:12:25,845
You're such a liar.
Ready for it?
316
00:12:25,845 --> 00:12:27,380
What? Hand.
317
00:12:27,380 --> 00:12:29,082
It's not gonna disappear.
It is gonna.
318
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:30,450
slam down and disappear.
I'm gonna literally
319
00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:31,584
I know this joke.
320
00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:32,719
What joke?
What's the joke?
321
00:12:32,719 --> 00:12:33,886
This joke.
What joke?
322
00:12:33,886 --> 00:12:35,855
It's, like, a --
It's, like, a fake trick.
323
00:12:35,855 --> 00:12:38,291
To see if I believe you.
This trick?
324
00:12:38,291 --> 00:12:40,226
It's actually gonna disappear.
No. It's actually --
325
00:12:40,226 --> 00:12:41,427
Here we go.
326
00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:42,595
[ Laughs ]
327
00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:45,031
If you do this,
I'm gonna drop dead.
328
00:12:45,031 --> 00:12:47,567
If you can do this,
What? Okay.
I'm gonna drop dead.
329
00:12:47,567 --> 00:12:49,168
All right.
330
00:12:49,168 --> 00:12:50,169
[ Thud ]
331
00:12:50,169 --> 00:12:51,938
[ Laughs ]
332
00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:55,975
This whole time you've been
throwing it above my head.
333
00:12:55,975 --> 00:12:59,112
♪♪
334
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:02,615
You know what an underrated
word for "bonehead" is?
335
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:05,418
As in "Dude, what a nimrod."
Nimrod.
336
00:13:05,418 --> 00:13:07,487
"nincompoop" and "moron,"
You hear "doofus" and
337
00:13:07,487 --> 00:13:08,855
but not "nimrod."
338
00:13:08,855 --> 00:13:10,690
It's a good word.
Fun to say. Yeah.
339
00:13:10,690 --> 00:13:12,358
And if you don't think
it's fun to say,
340
00:13:12,358 --> 00:13:14,894
then you, too, are a nimrod.
341
00:13:14,894 --> 00:13:17,930
Just -- Just like
these...nimrods.
342
00:13:19,565 --> 00:13:21,100
Young man: All right.
Okay, we're ready now.
343
00:13:21,100 --> 00:13:22,268
Okay, boys.
One...
344
00:13:22,268 --> 00:13:23,970
Ribeiro: They're helping him
into his wetsuit.
345
00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:25,004
Young man #2:
Count of three.
346
00:13:25,004 --> 00:13:26,039
Together: One...
347
00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:27,640
And the second floor.
Ribeiro:
348
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:28,908
Oh!
349
00:13:28,908 --> 00:13:32,445
♪♪
350
00:13:32,445 --> 00:13:34,447
Pbht!
351
00:13:36,716 --> 00:13:39,452
Ribeiro: He put it together
all by himself,
352
00:13:39,452 --> 00:13:42,989
and he'll take it apart
all by himself, too.
353
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:47,460
♪♪
354
00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:49,062
Man: Ready?
Yeah.
355
00:13:50,563 --> 00:13:53,333
Ohh!
356
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:54,500
I got it!
357
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:57,403
Bad place for a flower pot.
Ribeiro:
358
00:13:57,403 --> 00:14:04,344
♪♪
359
00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:07,280
If someone films you getting
onto your bunk bed,
360
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:09,248
ask yourself, "Why?"
361
00:14:10,416 --> 00:14:12,018
[ Boy laughs ]
362
00:14:14,053 --> 00:14:17,523
Well, you have to do something
in between classes.
363
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:21,494
♪♪
364
00:14:21,494 --> 00:14:23,629
[ Laughs ]
365
00:14:23,629 --> 00:14:26,199
I found nature's corn dog.
366
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:27,467
Ready?
367
00:14:27,467 --> 00:14:28,434
[ Woman laughs ]
368
00:14:28,434 --> 00:14:31,104
Aah!
369
00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:32,472
[ Laughs ]
370
00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:33,506
[ Blows ]
371
00:14:33,506 --> 00:14:34,574
Ha!
372
00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:40,146
where I love to give praise.
I'm now in that phase
373
00:14:40,146 --> 00:14:42,915
Join me as I
applaud the effort.
374
00:14:42,915 --> 00:14:45,718
It's time to give credit
where credit is due.
375
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,687
Join me as I
applaud the effort.
376
00:14:47,687 --> 00:14:49,889
[ Applause ]
377
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:51,758
You tried to turn off
the smoke alarm
378
00:14:51,758 --> 00:14:53,993
with whatever you had handy.
by creating wind
379
00:14:53,993 --> 00:14:57,397
of your impromptu fan.
Consider me a fan
380
00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:58,398
[ Alarm beeping ]
381
00:14:58,398 --> 00:14:59,866
Woman: Blow it!
It's still...
382
00:14:59,866 --> 00:15:02,135
We need to fan it
some more...
383
00:15:02,135 --> 00:15:04,137
'cause it's not going off.
384
00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:05,471
[ Laughs ]
385
00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:10,810
You kept trying to toss
cheese balls in your mouth,
386
00:15:10,810 --> 00:15:12,078
but you weren't even close.
387
00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:14,881
You're an inspiration
to snackers everywhere.
388
00:15:14,881 --> 00:15:16,849
Woman: [ Laughing ]
389
00:15:18,317 --> 00:15:20,186
One more. Try again.
390
00:15:20,186 --> 00:15:22,054
You can catch it
this time.
391
00:15:22,054 --> 00:15:23,689
[ Laughs ]
392
00:15:28,861 --> 00:15:31,898
to check out the squeaky toys
You made your best effort
393
00:15:31,898 --> 00:15:33,399
before you bought them.
394
00:15:33,399 --> 00:15:35,935
Good on you for being
a careful shopper.
395
00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:40,273
[ Toys squeaking ]
396
00:15:46,512 --> 00:15:48,047
You attempted to turn your son
397
00:15:48,047 --> 00:15:51,117
who doesn't like being on
camera into an influencer.
398
00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:53,252
I commend you for trying.
399
00:15:53,252 --> 00:15:54,720
Woman: "Hi, guys!"
400
00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:56,122
I don't do...
401
00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:57,523
No. Say "Hi, guys!"
402
00:15:57,523 --> 00:15:59,459
I don't do that no more!
403
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:00,460
Say it once.
404
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:02,495
I don't do any more.
405
00:16:02,495 --> 00:16:08,701
♪♪
406
00:16:11,571 --> 00:16:16,142
[ Cheers and applause ]
407
00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:19,278
Are appetizers ever jealous
of the main course?
408
00:16:19,278 --> 00:16:21,481
"Sure, you eat me,
Do they think,
409
00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:24,951
why aren't I the main course?"
but if you really loved me,
410
00:16:24,951 --> 00:16:28,454
Huh? And does the main course
think, "If you love me so
much,
411
00:16:28,454 --> 00:16:30,456
leave room for dessert?"
why do you always
412
00:16:30,456 --> 00:16:33,059
Right? Well, I don't know
if food has feelings,
413
00:16:33,059 --> 00:16:34,494
but food videos can take heart
414
00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:36,262
knowing that we never
play favorites,
415
00:16:36,262 --> 00:16:37,663
just as long as they're funny.
416
00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:38,731
Mm-hmm.
417
00:16:40,566 --> 00:16:44,270
but he dances for ice cream.
I scream, you scream,
418
00:16:44,270 --> 00:16:45,872
[ Laughs ]
419
00:16:45,872 --> 00:16:53,479
♪♪
420
00:16:53,479 --> 00:17:01,153
♪♪
421
00:17:01,153 --> 00:17:03,756
Man: So that would be
your full bowl of food then?
422
00:17:03,756 --> 00:17:06,392
He wants some of the food
that's in the container,
423
00:17:06,392 --> 00:17:08,995
which is the same food
that's in his bowl...
424
00:17:08,995 --> 00:17:10,630
6 inches away.
425
00:17:12,932 --> 00:17:14,534
Save some for the sequel,
Rock.
426
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:17,236
Yeah. Right there.
What's that?
427
00:17:17,236 --> 00:17:18,905
What's this?
428
00:17:18,905 --> 00:17:21,841
♪♪
429
00:17:21,841 --> 00:17:25,211
Can you just eat that?
430
00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:27,246
There you go.
431
00:17:27,246 --> 00:17:30,149
♪♪
432
00:17:30,149 --> 00:17:31,250
[ Fusses ]
433
00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:33,319
[ Man laughs ]
434
00:17:33,319 --> 00:17:35,021
Jimmy!
435
00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:39,926
This kid really
takes the cake,
436
00:17:39,926 --> 00:17:42,228
and then he takes it again.
437
00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:43,896
♪♪
438
00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:45,631
[ Laughter ]
439
00:17:49,101 --> 00:17:51,003
Woman: Here.
And...
440
00:17:51,003 --> 00:17:52,538
I've been bored, but never
Ribeiro:
441
00:17:52,538 --> 00:17:55,374
"squirt an entire bottle of
mustard in my mouth" bored.
442
00:17:55,374 --> 00:17:56,642
Okay.
443
00:17:56,642 --> 00:18:01,113
♪♪
444
00:18:01,113 --> 00:18:02,782
[ Woman laughs ]
445
00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:04,450
[ Indistinct conversation ]
446
00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:09,322
Woman: Hey, buddy.
How was your day today?
447
00:18:09,322 --> 00:18:11,524
which are grades,
Good. I got all 3s,
448
00:18:11,524 --> 00:18:14,594
and they're good.
And I loved my day.
449
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:17,029
to the Texaco
And I really want to go
450
00:18:17,029 --> 00:18:21,767
to get a little snack
and a Coca-Cola Icee.
451
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:24,804
Well, buddy, I got
a surprise for you.
[ Gasps ]
452
00:18:24,804 --> 00:18:25,938
Wait a minute.
453
00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:28,674
Do you know what today is?
454
00:18:28,674 --> 00:18:30,676
What?
455
00:18:30,676 --> 00:18:33,446
Today you're
a big brother.
456
00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:35,281
What's a big brother?
457
00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:36,649
Guess who's here!
458
00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:38,818
[ Gasps ] Savannah?
459
00:18:38,818 --> 00:18:41,554
Let -- Let me see.
Did she come?
460
00:18:41,554 --> 00:18:43,856
She's on her way now.
Is...
461
00:18:43,856 --> 00:18:45,992
Mama's having a baby!
462
00:18:45,992 --> 00:18:48,461
You mean
she's having it today?
463
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:50,229
She's having it today.
464
00:18:50,229 --> 00:18:52,598
to go see her?
Are you ready
465
00:18:52,598 --> 00:18:55,468
Yes. But first,
can we go to the Texaco?
466
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:56,602
Please, please.
467
00:18:56,602 --> 00:18:58,137
[ Laughs ]
468
00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:04,310
♪♪
469
00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:06,912
it ain't broke, don't fix it."
You've heard the saying "if
470
00:19:06,912 --> 00:19:08,280
Well, that's our philosophy.
471
00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:09,749
You send us funny videos,
472
00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:11,550
and we give $20,000
to the winner,
473
00:19:11,550 --> 00:19:13,052
and we're not
gonna change now.
474
00:19:13,052 --> 00:19:15,721
I mean, sure, we could try
having each of you
475
00:19:15,721 --> 00:19:17,223
send us $20,000
476
00:19:17,223 --> 00:19:18,758
and we give a funny video
to the winner,
477
00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:20,226
but for some reason,
478
00:19:20,226 --> 00:19:22,828
a successful business model.
I just don't see that being
479
00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:24,063
I -- Mm.
480
00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:28,234
He sees a can and decides
to recycle it...
481
00:19:28,234 --> 00:19:29,602
until he finds out
482
00:19:29,602 --> 00:19:31,170
have already claimed it.
that bees
483
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,705
[ Bees buzzing ]
484
00:19:32,705 --> 00:19:39,445
♪♪
485
00:19:39,445 --> 00:19:44,483
♪♪
486
00:19:44,483 --> 00:19:46,218
Man: Whoo!
487
00:19:46,218 --> 00:19:48,554
He doesn't know
his own strength,
488
00:19:48,554 --> 00:19:50,723
which, in this case, is bad.
489
00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:53,125
♪♪
490
00:19:53,125 --> 00:19:54,660
Aah!
491
00:19:54,660 --> 00:19:56,095
[ Screaming ]
492
00:19:56,095 --> 00:19:58,564
[ Indistinct conversation,
dog barking ]
493
00:19:58,564 --> 00:20:04,070
♪♪
494
00:20:04,070 --> 00:20:07,640
Ribeiro: This dog's good
at catching the ball.
495
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:10,910
at catching the ricochet.
Dad's even better
496
00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:12,278
Oh!
497
00:20:12,278 --> 00:20:13,846
[ Girl laughs ]
498
00:20:17,183 --> 00:20:18,584
Woman: Oh, man.
499
00:20:18,584 --> 00:20:20,453
Ribeiro: Mom's here.
Whoopie!
500
00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:22,488
Whoa!
[ Pbht! ]
501
00:20:22,488 --> 00:20:24,256
Man: Excuse you!
502
00:20:24,256 --> 00:20:27,259
[ Laughter ]
Oh, my goodness!
503
00:20:27,259 --> 00:20:28,994
Mama!
504
00:20:28,994 --> 00:20:32,865
Car washes and ill-fitting
sunroofs don't mix.
505
00:20:32,865 --> 00:20:34,366
Ohh!
506
00:20:34,366 --> 00:20:35,768
My God. I'm crying.
507
00:20:35,768 --> 00:20:37,403
Woman:
[ Shouts indistinctly ]
508
00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:39,905
It's on me!
509
00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:43,642
[ Laughs ]
Aah! Aah!
510
00:20:43,642 --> 00:20:45,344
No!
511
00:20:45,344 --> 00:20:48,647
No!
It always happens to me!
512
00:20:49,715 --> 00:20:52,318
He's not convinced
that's a real dog.
513
00:20:52,318 --> 00:20:54,587
But there's only one way
to be sure.
514
00:20:54,587 --> 00:20:56,021
[ Toy howling ]
515
00:20:56,021 --> 00:20:59,125
♪♪
516
00:20:59,125 --> 00:21:01,961
[ Dog barking ]
517
00:21:01,961 --> 00:21:05,030
and dogs love other dogs.
Dogs love bones,
518
00:21:05,030 --> 00:21:07,566
the best of both worlds.
So it's kind of like
519
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:13,105
"Assignment America,"
On a recent
520
00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:16,142
we asked for videos of
the "Gasp at Your Dog
Challenge"
521
00:21:16,142 --> 00:21:18,944
where you gasp at your dog
and capture their reaction.
522
00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:22,081
Now, I don't want to give away
how well you all did, but,
uh...
523
00:21:22,081 --> 00:21:23,649
[ Gasps ]
524
00:21:23,649 --> 00:21:25,184
♪♪
525
00:21:25,184 --> 00:21:26,719
[ Dog howls ]
526
00:21:26,719 --> 00:21:28,220
♪♪
527
00:21:28,220 --> 00:21:30,189
[ Woman gasps, laughs ]
528
00:21:30,189 --> 00:21:31,857
[ Woman gasps ]
529
00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:35,761
[ Woman gasps ]
530
00:21:37,363 --> 00:21:39,799
[ Woman gasps ]
531
00:21:39,799 --> 00:21:41,300
[ Woman gasps ]
532
00:21:43,035 --> 00:21:45,371
[ Woman gasps ]
533
00:21:45,371 --> 00:21:47,039
♪♪
534
00:21:47,039 --> 00:21:48,841
[ Dog growls ]
535
00:21:48,841 --> 00:21:51,143
[ Woman gasps ]
536
00:21:51,143 --> 00:21:52,678
[ Woman gasps ]
537
00:21:53,846 --> 00:21:55,948
[ Woman gasps ]
538
00:21:55,948 --> 00:21:57,316
[ Woman gasps ]
539
00:21:58,717 --> 00:22:00,286
[ Woman gasps ]
540
00:22:00,286 --> 00:22:02,688
Get that baby.
Woman: Get that baby.
541
00:22:02,688 --> 00:22:04,790
[ Dog barks ]
542
00:22:04,790 --> 00:22:07,359
[ Woman gasps ]
543
00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:10,029
[ Woman gasps ]
544
00:22:12,298 --> 00:22:13,899
[ Woman gasps ]
Girl: ...going back.
545
00:22:13,899 --> 00:22:14,967
What? What?
546
00:22:14,967 --> 00:22:16,769
[ Woman gasps ]
547
00:22:18,904 --> 00:22:21,006
[ Woman gasps ]
548
00:22:21,006 --> 00:22:24,076
Funniest Videos" is on!
Woman: "America's
549
00:22:24,076 --> 00:22:31,083
♪♪
550
00:22:33,819 --> 00:22:37,857
♪♪
551
00:22:37,857 --> 00:22:39,225
In meteorology,
552
00:22:39,225 --> 00:22:41,560
the temperature below
which the air can no longer
553
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:43,863
contain water in
a gaseous form,
554
00:22:43,863 --> 00:22:46,332
and it starts to rain,
is called the dew point.
555
00:22:46,332 --> 00:22:47,800
Yeah, that's much different
556
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:49,468
what did you do? point. Okay?
than the "Dude,
557
00:22:49,468 --> 00:22:50,703
W-Which is the point
558
00:22:50,703 --> 00:22:52,638
at which a friend's behavior
is so questionable
559
00:22:52,638 --> 00:22:55,007
that you can't help sending
the video to "AFV."
560
00:22:55,007 --> 00:23:01,213
♪♪
561
00:23:01,213 --> 00:23:02,948
sometimes don't know
I guess you
562
00:23:02,948 --> 00:23:05,184
it's a bad idea
until you try it.
563
00:23:05,184 --> 00:23:07,052
[ Engine revving ]
564
00:23:07,052 --> 00:23:12,124
♪♪
565
00:23:12,124 --> 00:23:13,859
[ Crying ]
566
00:23:13,859 --> 00:23:15,661
Woman:
Why are you crying?
567
00:23:19,298 --> 00:23:20,933
Why are you crying?
568
00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:30,709
You want unicorns
to be in this world?
569
00:23:30,709 --> 00:23:32,111
Yeah.
570
00:23:32,111 --> 00:23:36,749
♪♪
571
00:23:36,749 --> 00:23:37,983
[ Gasps ]
572
00:23:39,785 --> 00:23:43,355
Ribeiro: Perhaps some welcome
mats are a bit too welcoming.
573
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:50,562
Woman:
I let you be for one second,
574
00:23:50,562 --> 00:23:52,865
what you turn into.
and this is
575
00:23:52,865 --> 00:23:55,701
Ribeiro: I think you left her
alone for one second.
576
00:23:55,701 --> 00:23:57,736
And then 300 more seconds.
577
00:23:57,736 --> 00:23:59,538
How was lunch?
578
00:24:02,141 --> 00:24:03,943
Was it tasty?
579
00:24:03,943 --> 00:24:05,344
[ Laughs ]
580
00:24:05,344 --> 00:24:06,712
It was good?
581
00:24:06,712 --> 00:24:08,647
[ Both laugh ]
582
00:24:08,647 --> 00:24:10,683
[ Speaking
indistinctly ]
583
00:24:13,018 --> 00:24:14,086
Okay. That's it.
584
00:24:14,086 --> 00:24:16,055
What an adorable couple.
585
00:24:16,055 --> 00:24:19,024
Could this get
any more romantic?
586
00:24:19,024 --> 00:24:20,793
[ Dog gags ]
587
00:24:20,793 --> 00:24:22,328
[ Woman laughs ]
588
00:24:24,863 --> 00:24:28,500
There's more than one way
to crack an egg.
589
00:24:28,500 --> 00:24:30,569
But they're all better
than this one.
590
00:24:30,569 --> 00:24:32,504
♪♪
591
00:24:32,504 --> 00:24:35,274
[ Laughs ]
592
00:24:35,274 --> 00:24:38,043
♪♪
593
00:24:38,043 --> 00:24:39,278
Okay.
594
00:24:39,278 --> 00:24:40,846
[ Laughing ]
595
00:24:40,846 --> 00:24:42,214
I'm sorry.
596
00:24:44,249 --> 00:24:47,019
their wisdom teeth removed,
When teens have
597
00:24:47,019 --> 00:24:50,255
the anesthesia can make them
say some pretty hilarious
stuff.
598
00:24:50,255 --> 00:24:53,025
So while their wisdom teeth
are covered by insurance,
599
00:24:53,025 --> 00:24:55,094
the funny things they say
might just be covered
600
00:24:55,094 --> 00:24:56,662
by Vin Di Bona's checkbook.
601
00:24:56,662 --> 00:24:58,063
[ Laughing ] Yeah.
602
00:24:58,063 --> 00:25:00,699
20 Gs, if you please.
603
00:25:00,766 --> 00:25:02,501
Woman: Hey, Caleb.
[ Laughing ]
604
00:25:02,501 --> 00:25:03,569
[ Slurred ] Hey, Mom.
605
00:25:03,569 --> 00:25:05,170
Hey, Caleb.
Hey, Mom.
606
00:25:05,170 --> 00:25:07,506
Did you hear the rumor
about butter?
607
00:25:07,506 --> 00:25:08,540
What?
608
00:25:08,540 --> 00:25:10,442
I'm not gonna spread it.
609
00:25:10,442 --> 00:25:12,411
No. [ Laughs ]
610
00:25:15,447 --> 00:25:17,082
[ Laughter continues ]
611
00:25:19,451 --> 00:25:20,586
Get it?
612
00:25:20,586 --> 00:25:22,855
'Cause butter spreads.
613
00:25:22,855 --> 00:25:24,723
[ Laughs ]
614
00:25:27,092 --> 00:25:31,397
The butter
spreads on the toast!
615
00:25:31,397 --> 00:25:33,432
[ Laughs ]
616
00:25:35,467 --> 00:25:36,869
[ Laughs ]
617
00:25:36,869 --> 00:25:39,238
at home, Mom.
We need some of this
618
00:25:39,238 --> 00:25:40,239
Yeah.
619
00:25:40,239 --> 00:25:42,174
This is good.
620
00:25:42,174 --> 00:25:43,976
[ Laughing ] Oh, no!
621
00:25:45,244 --> 00:25:46,779
Woman:
What are you doing?
622
00:25:49,548 --> 00:25:51,950
You're riding
a roller coaster?
623
00:25:51,950 --> 00:25:54,586
[ Screams ]
624
00:25:56,855 --> 00:25:58,490
[ Slurred ] It ended.
625
00:25:58,490 --> 00:26:00,459
Huh?
It ended.
626
00:26:00,459 --> 00:26:02,327
It ended? Okay.
627
00:26:02,327 --> 00:26:03,896
Woman: Britlynn.
628
00:26:09,468 --> 00:26:12,104
What? Hey.
629
00:26:12,104 --> 00:26:13,305
[ Crying ]
630
00:26:17,476 --> 00:26:18,811
[ Laughs ]
631
00:26:20,579 --> 00:26:22,681
Oh, look. Look, honey.
632
00:26:22,681 --> 00:26:24,650
There's a ton of them
in there.
633
00:26:26,718 --> 00:26:29,421
It was just the piece
you tore off to open it.
634
00:26:31,857 --> 00:26:33,625
I knew that.
You...
635
00:26:33,625 --> 00:26:34,827
[ Laughs ]
636
00:26:34,827 --> 00:26:36,829
Aren't you -- Aren't you
so glad you don't have
637
00:26:36,829 --> 00:26:39,364
to take drugs or anything?
638
00:26:39,364 --> 00:26:41,867
for your body. Except for --
These drugs are not good
639
00:26:41,867 --> 00:26:43,535
[ Slurred ] I took drugs?!
640
00:26:43,535 --> 00:26:44,670
No, no, no, honey.
641
00:26:44,670 --> 00:26:46,672
Just anesthetic
for -- for your...
642
00:26:46,672 --> 00:26:48,941
I'm on drugs right now?
643
00:26:48,941 --> 00:26:50,609
No?
No. No, honey.
644
00:26:50,609 --> 00:26:51,844
right now.
You're not on drugs
645
00:26:51,844 --> 00:26:56,281
I-I-I didn't know I did it.
I'm sorry.
646
00:26:56,281 --> 00:26:57,883
It's okay.
No, honey, it's okay.
647
00:26:57,883 --> 00:27:01,019
I-I did not want to do drugs!
[ Voice breaking ]
648
00:27:01,019 --> 00:27:03,222
No, no, honey.
You're not doing drugs.
649
00:27:03,222 --> 00:27:05,991
You're not doing drugs.
It's just medicine.
650
00:27:05,991 --> 00:27:07,092
You took some medicine.
651
00:27:07,092 --> 00:27:11,530
I never would do drugs!
I promised Mom
652
00:27:11,530 --> 00:27:14,266
Honey, honey,
you're not doing drugs.
653
00:27:14,266 --> 00:27:15,300
You had some medicine.
654
00:27:15,300 --> 00:27:17,836
You can't tell Mom!
655
00:27:17,836 --> 00:27:20,506
I won't tell her about it.
Okay. I won't tell her.
656
00:27:20,506 --> 00:27:21,773
It's okay. I'm so glad --
657
00:27:21,773 --> 00:27:24,643
I'm sorry I did drugs.
Oh, honey, it's okay.
658
00:27:24,643 --> 00:27:26,812
You didn't.
You didn't, darling.
659
00:27:26,812 --> 00:27:28,647
You took some medicine.
You didn't do drugs.
660
00:27:28,647 --> 00:27:30,682
Some medicine.
The medicine.
661
00:27:30,682 --> 00:27:32,017
Oh, no!
And some --
662
00:27:32,017 --> 00:27:33,352
What's wrong?
663
00:27:33,352 --> 00:27:37,089
She was here the whole time!
[ Voice breaking ]
664
00:27:37,089 --> 00:27:38,090
Honey...
665
00:27:38,090 --> 00:27:40,626
♪♪
666
00:27:43,362 --> 00:27:44,763
When it comes to diving,
667
00:27:44,763 --> 00:27:46,865
there are a million ways
for it to go wrong
668
00:27:46,865 --> 00:27:48,734
and only one way
for it to go right.
669
00:27:48,734 --> 00:27:51,069
So let's take a deep dive
into a montage
670
00:27:51,069 --> 00:27:52,771
that'll make you dig deep
and question
671
00:27:52,771 --> 00:27:55,340
whether it's worth it to dive.
672
00:27:55,340 --> 00:27:58,310
[ Classical music plays ]
673
00:27:58,310 --> 00:27:59,912
Young man: Oh!
674
00:27:59,912 --> 00:28:02,214
♪♪
675
00:28:02,214 --> 00:28:03,815
Oh! Oh!
676
00:28:03,815 --> 00:28:07,386
♪♪
677
00:28:07,386 --> 00:28:08,754
[ Woman gasps ]
678
00:28:08,754 --> 00:28:16,628
♪♪
679
00:28:16,628 --> 00:28:17,729
Woman: Aah!
680
00:28:17,729 --> 00:28:20,866
♪♪
681
00:28:20,866 --> 00:28:22,534
[ Woman screams ]
682
00:28:22,534 --> 00:28:27,806
♪♪
683
00:28:27,806 --> 00:28:33,078
♪♪
684
00:28:33,078 --> 00:28:34,379
Woman: Aah!
685
00:28:34,379 --> 00:28:41,153
♪♪
686
00:28:41,153 --> 00:28:42,154
Whoa!
687
00:28:42,154 --> 00:28:46,291
♪♪
688
00:28:46,291 --> 00:28:47,593
[ Woman laughs ]
689
00:28:47,593 --> 00:28:53,165
♪♪
690
00:28:53,165 --> 00:28:54,700
Got a funny video?
691
00:28:54,700 --> 00:28:57,436
Upload it to AFV.com.
692
00:28:57,436 --> 00:29:00,672
♪♪
693
00:29:03,041 --> 00:29:04,476
♪♪
694
00:29:04,476 --> 00:29:07,279
There is a thing in sports
where if one team
695
00:29:07,279 --> 00:29:10,015
is consistently dominant
over another team,
696
00:29:10,015 --> 00:29:13,652
people will say that that team
is the other team's "daddy."
697
00:29:13,652 --> 00:29:17,189
Like -- Like "the Yankees
are the Mets' daddy." Yeah.
698
00:29:17,189 --> 00:29:20,492
Well, I find this to be very
disrespectful and very funny.
699
00:29:20,492 --> 00:29:23,362
Now -- Now enjoy some dads
who are other dads' daddies
700
00:29:23,362 --> 00:29:25,964
when it comes to starring
in funny videos.
701
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:29,668
It's good to look up
to your dad...
702
00:29:29,668 --> 00:29:30,969
Man: Move!
703
00:29:30,969 --> 00:29:33,438
...except when he's above you
on the bouncy slide.
704
00:29:34,172 --> 00:29:35,173
[ Woman laughs ]
705
00:29:35,173 --> 00:29:38,243
-Whoa!
-Uh!
706
00:29:38,243 --> 00:29:39,645
Well, that's a clever way
Ribeiro:
707
00:29:39,645 --> 00:29:42,180
to not spend quality time
with your kids.
708
00:29:46,485 --> 00:29:48,153
Not outside?
709
00:29:48,153 --> 00:29:49,788
He's not outside.
710
00:29:49,788 --> 00:29:52,257
Woman:
Did you check the closet?
711
00:29:52,257 --> 00:29:54,559
Hmm?
Which closet?
712
00:29:54,559 --> 00:29:55,661
Which closet, Mom?
713
00:29:55,661 --> 00:29:58,297
Can you check this closet?
714
00:29:58,297 --> 00:30:03,568
Ribeiro: Sometimes the laziest
hiding places are the best.
715
00:30:03,568 --> 00:30:06,905
No.
Let's look again in here.
716
00:30:06,905 --> 00:30:08,774
Garrett, come here.
-Okay.
717
00:30:08,774 --> 00:30:11,376
Where could he be?
718
00:30:11,376 --> 00:30:12,711
he would be?
Mom, where do you think
719
00:30:12,711 --> 00:30:15,981
I don't know.
Is he in the dryer?
720
00:30:15,981 --> 00:30:18,917
-Let's check in the dryer.
-Aah!
721
00:30:18,917 --> 00:30:20,886
[ Laughs ]
722
00:30:20,886 --> 00:30:22,054
Aah!
723
00:30:22,054 --> 00:30:23,755
[ Laughs ]
724
00:30:23,755 --> 00:30:25,824
[ Laughter ]
725
00:30:25,824 --> 00:30:29,094
♪♪
726
00:30:29,094 --> 00:30:30,529
[ Laughing ]
727
00:30:31,863 --> 00:30:33,665
Girl:
I'm not talking to you!
728
00:30:33,665 --> 00:30:35,300
Well,
I'm not talking either.
729
00:30:35,300 --> 00:30:37,369
I'm not talking to you
either!
730
00:30:37,369 --> 00:30:40,105
to me.
Well, don't say anything
731
00:30:40,105 --> 00:30:42,374
Well, don't say anything
to me!
732
00:30:42,374 --> 00:30:44,109
I'm not talking to you.
733
00:30:44,109 --> 00:30:45,911
I'm not talking to you.
734
00:30:45,911 --> 00:30:47,479
either.
I'm not talking to you
735
00:30:47,479 --> 00:30:49,481
I'm not talking to you
either.
736
00:30:49,481 --> 00:30:51,049
I'm not talking to you.
737
00:30:51,049 --> 00:30:52,818
I'm not talking to you.
738
00:30:55,120 --> 00:30:57,222
It's bedtime for Dad.
Ribeiro:
739
00:30:58,857 --> 00:31:00,625
[ Woman gasps ]
740
00:31:00,625 --> 00:31:03,328
By which I mean it's time
for Dad to buy a new bed.
741
00:31:03,328 --> 00:31:04,796
[ Woman laughs ]
742
00:31:04,796 --> 00:31:08,400
♪♪
743
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:11,069
-Over to your brother.
-He's hitting it.
744
00:31:11,069 --> 00:31:12,938
Woman: Way to go, Liam!
Child: Aah!
745
00:31:12,938 --> 00:31:15,474
Ribeiro: Usually piñata
-related bellyaches happen
746
00:31:15,474 --> 00:31:18,210
when someone eats
too much candy.
747
00:31:18,210 --> 00:31:19,845
Oh! Oh!
748
00:31:19,845 --> 00:31:21,947
This is not one
of those times.
749
00:31:21,947 --> 00:31:28,720
♪♪
750
00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:30,522
Kids say such funny things
751
00:31:30,522 --> 00:31:33,091
that not even the best
comedy writers in the world
752
00:31:33,091 --> 00:31:34,192
could come up with them.
753
00:31:34,192 --> 00:31:36,261
Or the writers on our show.
[ Laughs ]
754
00:31:36,261 --> 00:31:37,896
I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
755
00:31:37,896 --> 00:31:39,731
some funny things.
Our guys write
756
00:31:39,731 --> 00:31:41,967
Just not for this show.
757
00:31:41,967 --> 00:31:44,669
I'm kidding again.
Come on.
758
00:31:44,669 --> 00:31:46,271
they write everything
Actually, they --
759
00:31:46,271 --> 00:31:47,372
I read off the teleprompter,
760
00:31:47,372 --> 00:31:50,742
shouldn't start a war.
so I probably
761
00:31:50,742 --> 00:31:52,043
Your butt.
762
00:31:52,043 --> 00:31:53,779
Woman:
You want to see my what?
763
00:31:53,779 --> 00:31:54,846
Butt.
764
00:31:54,846 --> 00:31:56,314
gonna do what?
'Cause you're
765
00:31:56,314 --> 00:31:57,582
With that.
766
00:31:57,582 --> 00:31:59,151
Oh, you're gonna check
my temperature?
767
00:31:59,151 --> 00:32:00,419
Yes.
Please don't.
768
00:32:00,419 --> 00:32:01,653
No.
769
00:32:01,653 --> 00:32:03,155
No.
770
00:32:03,155 --> 00:32:05,290
Let me check your butt.
771
00:32:05,290 --> 00:32:06,925
I don't want you
to check my butt.
772
00:32:06,925 --> 00:32:10,429
No.
I want to check you butt.
773
00:32:10,429 --> 00:32:11,797
Open it, please.
774
00:32:11,797 --> 00:32:15,467
[ Laughing ] No.
Open it, please!
775
00:32:15,467 --> 00:32:18,069
I don't want you
to check my temperature.
776
00:32:18,069 --> 00:32:20,906
Oh,
I want to check you!
777
00:32:20,906 --> 00:32:23,175
Man on TV: Wow!
778
00:32:23,175 --> 00:32:25,710
Woman: Oh, bless you, baby!
[ Sneezes ]
779
00:32:28,547 --> 00:32:32,717
Oh, my gosh. It sounded like
you just said "thank you."
780
00:32:32,717 --> 00:32:35,287
Talk backwards.
781
00:32:44,329 --> 00:32:46,498
Woman: And what happened
to the cookies?
782
00:32:46,498 --> 00:32:48,967
Um, they, um...
783
00:32:48,967 --> 00:32:51,136
They all -- Some...
784
00:32:53,438 --> 00:32:55,340
[ Laughs ]
785
00:32:55,340 --> 00:32:56,708
They did?
786
00:32:56,708 --> 00:32:58,777
[ Laughs ]
787
00:32:58,777 --> 00:33:01,112
So you caught them?
788
00:33:01,112 --> 00:33:02,414
Okay.
789
00:33:02,414 --> 00:33:04,649
So that way, they won't fall.
790
00:33:04,649 --> 00:33:06,585
Oh, that is so good
of you.
791
00:33:08,353 --> 00:33:12,324
honey. Come look what's on the
Woman: Connor, come here,
ground.
792
00:33:12,324 --> 00:33:13,492
Look what's on the ground.
793
00:33:13,492 --> 00:33:16,094
Mm.
794
00:33:16,094 --> 00:33:17,629
Maybe the...
795
00:33:20,065 --> 00:33:21,600
[ Laughs ]
796
00:33:24,169 --> 00:33:25,837
Man:
Okay, what planet is this?
797
00:33:25,837 --> 00:33:27,239
Um, Earth.
798
00:33:27,239 --> 00:33:28,473
No, that's your Uranus.
799
00:33:28,473 --> 00:33:29,774
That's my anus.
800
00:33:29,774 --> 00:33:32,544
And that's Dad's anus.
801
00:33:32,544 --> 00:33:34,346
[ Laughs ]
802
00:33:34,346 --> 00:33:39,317
♪♪
803
00:33:39,317 --> 00:33:41,520
Ribeiro: You know
what the world needs now?
804
00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:44,523
A dog that was born
to ride shotgun.
805
00:33:44,523 --> 00:33:46,858
♪♪
806
00:33:48,527 --> 00:33:50,061
Woman: [ Laughs ]
807
00:33:52,330 --> 00:33:54,199
Hi, lovey.
808
00:33:54,199 --> 00:33:56,401
[ Laughs ]
809
00:33:56,401 --> 00:33:59,838
I hope you've enjoyed a dog
that was born to ride shotgun.
810
00:33:59,838 --> 00:34:01,606
[ Applause ]
811
00:34:01,606 --> 00:34:03,708
♪♪
812
00:34:06,077 --> 00:34:09,514
I love hosting "AFV." In fact,
if it somehow went away,
813
00:34:09,514 --> 00:34:11,816
I'd do a version of the show
all by myself,
814
00:34:11,816 --> 00:34:13,752
and if I couldn't get a show,
I'd open up a store.
815
00:34:13,752 --> 00:34:15,954
commercials all over TV --
You'd see
816
00:34:15,954 --> 00:34:18,924
"Come on down to Crazy Al's
Discount Video Mart.
817
00:34:18,924 --> 00:34:21,092
And if you can find
a funnier video store,
818
00:34:21,092 --> 00:34:22,861
I'll eat a bug."
Yep.
819
00:34:22,861 --> 00:34:25,263
bug, but it's a good gimmick.
I-I wouldn't want to eat a
820
00:34:25,263 --> 00:34:27,832
And if it drives business,
I'm doing it.
821
00:34:29,100 --> 00:34:31,369
[ Woman laughs ]
822
00:34:31,369 --> 00:34:35,006
Even hairless cats think
hairless cats are weird.
823
00:34:35,006 --> 00:34:37,375
[ Woman laughs ]
824
00:34:37,375 --> 00:34:38,743
[ Speaks indistinctly ]
825
00:34:38,743 --> 00:34:40,145
Oh, good. Oh, good.
826
00:34:40,145 --> 00:34:43,114
Looks like the new mattress
has arrived,
827
00:34:43,114 --> 00:34:46,585
but they won't know for sure
until they open it up.
828
00:34:47,986 --> 00:34:49,421
[ Laughs ]
829
00:34:50,422 --> 00:34:52,591
[ Laughs ]
830
00:34:52,591 --> 00:34:57,429
♪♪
831
00:34:57,429 --> 00:34:59,331
Man: Ow!
832
00:34:59,331 --> 00:35:02,734
caught on the door is no fun,
Ribeiro: Getting your bag
833
00:35:02,734 --> 00:35:05,370
can only get better from here.
but at least the day
834
00:35:09,808 --> 00:35:12,410
Woman: Leave it alone.
835
00:35:12,410 --> 00:35:13,912
Leave it alone!
836
00:35:13,912 --> 00:35:15,614
[ Laughing ] Go away.
837
00:35:15,614 --> 00:35:17,482
If it comes at me,
I may poop.
838
00:35:17,482 --> 00:35:19,584
Aah! Aah!
839
00:35:19,584 --> 00:35:21,152
[ Screaming ]
840
00:35:23,121 --> 00:35:26,257
We've got to get ready.
Woman:
841
00:35:26,257 --> 00:35:28,827
that if you carry that around,
Holly, do you think
842
00:35:28,827 --> 00:35:32,564
that somebody is gonna
play beer pong with you?
843
00:35:32,564 --> 00:35:34,532
Holly.
844
00:35:34,532 --> 00:35:35,734
Holly.
845
00:35:35,734 --> 00:35:38,269
We're not playing beer pong.
Okay?
846
00:35:38,269 --> 00:35:39,604
Go potty.
847
00:35:39,604 --> 00:35:41,573
What a good doggy daddy,
Ribeiro:
848
00:35:41,573 --> 00:35:44,342
taking him out to go potty
before bed.
849
00:35:44,342 --> 00:35:47,312
♪♪
850
00:35:47,312 --> 00:35:48,913
Ohh!
851
00:35:48,913 --> 00:35:50,081
Okay.
852
00:35:53,451 --> 00:35:56,254
On the couch!
Get up.
853
00:35:56,254 --> 00:35:57,722
In this wrestling match,
854
00:35:57,722 --> 00:36:00,692
not exactly playing fair.
little brother's
855
00:36:00,692 --> 00:36:02,260
[ Farts ]
856
00:36:02,260 --> 00:36:03,428
[ Laughs ]
857
00:36:03,428 --> 00:36:04,696
Woman: [ Laughs ]
858
00:36:04,696 --> 00:36:07,032
Who was that --
Lennon or Charlie?
859
00:36:07,032 --> 00:36:08,633
Charlie.
860
00:36:08,633 --> 00:36:13,204
♪♪
861
00:36:13,204 --> 00:36:15,440
Coming out of anesthesia
is never fun,
862
00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:17,008
except for the person
recording them
863
00:36:17,008 --> 00:36:18,443
with a smartphone, of course.
864
00:36:18,443 --> 00:36:20,178
"Recovery Room Ramblers"
That's why
865
00:36:20,178 --> 00:36:21,579
"Assignment America."
are tonight's
866
00:36:21,579 --> 00:36:23,281
No, you don't. No, you don't.
Need some examples?
867
00:36:23,281 --> 00:36:24,749
We just showed you a bunch.
No, you don't.
868
00:36:24,749 --> 00:36:26,651
Jess, tell 'em more.
869
00:36:26,651 --> 00:36:28,653
Your wisdom teeth
might be going bye-bye,
870
00:36:28,653 --> 00:36:30,055
but the best thing
to leave your mouth
871
00:36:30,055 --> 00:36:32,023
will be the words you say
when waking up.
872
00:36:32,023 --> 00:36:33,692
Send us the video
showing you babble
873
00:36:33,692 --> 00:36:35,827
like a crazy video version
of "Scrabble."
874
00:36:35,827 --> 00:36:37,696
Your anesthesia-generated
gibberish
875
00:36:37,696 --> 00:36:40,165
might win you $20
or even $100,000.
876
00:36:40,165 --> 00:36:41,900
Just upload the video
to AFV.com.
877
00:36:41,900 --> 00:36:44,302
For full contest rules,
log on to AFV.com.
878
00:36:44,302 --> 00:36:47,739
Your minor procedure might
just turn into a major payday.
879
00:36:49,774 --> 00:36:52,544
♪♪
880
00:36:52,544 --> 00:36:54,946
We've seen lots of clips
on the show. It is true.
881
00:36:54,946 --> 00:36:58,483
money, here's the three clips
And while most don't win
that do.
882
00:36:58,483 --> 00:37:00,151
So let's meet our finalists.
883
00:37:00,151 --> 00:37:02,554
it's "Parrot Calls Rover
First up,
Over,"
884
00:37:02,554 --> 00:37:07,125
from Roxboro, North Carolina.
sent in by Shawn Hart
885
00:37:07,125 --> 00:37:08,660
[ Calling ]
886
00:37:08,660 --> 00:37:10,562
Come on over here.
Come on, dog.
887
00:37:10,562 --> 00:37:11,763
Come on.
888
00:37:11,763 --> 00:37:13,231
[ Calling ]
889
00:37:13,231 --> 00:37:15,867
Come on, dog.
Come here.
890
00:37:15,867 --> 00:37:18,136
You want to go outside?
Come on.
891
00:37:18,136 --> 00:37:19,904
[ Calling ]
892
00:37:19,904 --> 00:37:21,906
Come here.
893
00:37:21,906 --> 00:37:23,742
Joining us are Shawn, Greg,
894
00:37:23,742 --> 00:37:25,910
and their dog, Ferris Bueller.
895
00:37:25,910 --> 00:37:29,681
Now, Shawn, I understand that
parrot was your friend's,
right?
896
00:37:29,681 --> 00:37:33,585
every time it started talking
And did Ferris respond
897
00:37:33,585 --> 00:37:35,587
it said things like,
or just when
898
00:37:35,587 --> 00:37:38,690
or "Want to go outside"?
"Come here, dog,"
899
00:37:38,690 --> 00:37:39,858
That's right.
He went right over
900
00:37:39,858 --> 00:37:42,627
every single time
that bird called.
901
00:37:42,627 --> 00:37:45,263
Ferris is very obedient
Well, we love that.
902
00:37:45,263 --> 00:37:48,533
and a very cute dog.
So good luck, guys.
903
00:37:48,533 --> 00:37:49,601
Thank you.
Thank you.
904
00:37:49,601 --> 00:37:51,202
All right.
905
00:37:51,202 --> 00:37:53,438
Next up, she chomped
on a cattail,
906
00:37:53,438 --> 00:37:56,207
'cause the poor girl was left
and one bite was enough
907
00:37:56,207 --> 00:37:57,475
with a mouthful of fluff.
908
00:37:57,475 --> 00:37:59,811
It's "Nature's Corn Dog,"
sent in
909
00:37:59,811 --> 00:38:03,414
from Great Falls, Montana.
by Heidi Edwards
910
00:38:03,414 --> 00:38:06,117
I found nature's corn dog.
911
00:38:06,117 --> 00:38:07,385
Ready?
912
00:38:07,385 --> 00:38:08,386
[ Woman laughs ]
913
00:38:08,386 --> 00:38:11,055
Aah!
914
00:38:11,055 --> 00:38:12,357
[ Laughs ]
915
00:38:12,357 --> 00:38:13,358
[ Blows ]
916
00:38:13,358 --> 00:38:14,392
Ha!
917
00:38:15,126 --> 00:38:18,730
Joining us are Heidi, Reid,
Keilee, and Rylan.
918
00:38:18,730 --> 00:38:20,899
Now, Keilee, what was going
through your head
919
00:38:20,899 --> 00:38:22,734
when you decided,
"You know what?
920
00:38:22,734 --> 00:38:25,570
a big old bite of that thing"?
I'm gonna take
921
00:38:25,570 --> 00:38:28,573
Well, it was kind of crazy
'cause it just, like, filled
922
00:38:28,573 --> 00:38:31,609
my mouth, and I breathed out,
and it came all out
everywhere.
923
00:38:31,609 --> 00:38:33,444
it was beautiful to watch.
Well,
924
00:38:33,444 --> 00:38:36,548
sticking to actual corn dogs
And I'm guessing you'll be
925
00:38:36,548 --> 00:38:38,550
in the future, right?
Yep.
926
00:38:38,550 --> 00:38:41,085
Good luck, guys.
Absolutely.
927
00:38:41,085 --> 00:38:42,520
All right.
928
00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:45,924
think of anything finer than a
Finally, it's real hard to
teen
929
00:38:45,924 --> 00:38:49,494
who can't stop laughing
at Mom's silly one-liner.
930
00:38:49,494 --> 00:38:51,429
It's "His Mudder's
Butter Joke,"
931
00:38:51,429 --> 00:38:55,567
sent in by Bryn Marcus
from Spring, Texas.
932
00:38:55,567 --> 00:38:56,968
Woman: Hey, Caleb.
[ Slurred ] Hey, Mom.
933
00:38:56,968 --> 00:38:59,304
Did you hear the rumor
about butter?
934
00:38:59,304 --> 00:39:00,338
What?
935
00:39:00,338 --> 00:39:02,240
I'm not gonna spread it.
936
00:39:02,240 --> 00:39:04,209
No. [ Laughs ]
937
00:39:06,344 --> 00:39:07,478
Get it?
938
00:39:07,478 --> 00:39:09,747
'Cause butter spreads.
939
00:39:09,747 --> 00:39:11,616
[ Laughs ]
940
00:39:12,050 --> 00:39:15,486
Joining us are Bryn,
Caleb, Jeffrey, and Hunter.
941
00:39:15,486 --> 00:39:19,858
Now, Caleb, do you normally
laugh at your mom's corny
jokes?
942
00:39:19,858 --> 00:39:22,126
Not necessarily.
943
00:39:22,126 --> 00:39:24,162
So we can probably chalk
944
00:39:24,162 --> 00:39:27,732
this one up to being loopy
from the anesthesia?
945
00:39:27,732 --> 00:39:29,000
Absolutely.
946
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:30,401
[ Laughs ]
947
00:39:30,401 --> 00:39:32,070
you guys have in the family.
I can see the fun
948
00:39:32,070 --> 00:39:34,372
Well, listen, you also
have a great laugh,
949
00:39:34,372 --> 00:39:36,608
and I'd love to have you
in our audience one day.
950
00:39:36,608 --> 00:39:38,877
That sounds good.
Okay?
951
00:39:38,877 --> 00:39:40,845
Well, good luck, y'all.
All right.
952
00:39:40,845 --> 00:39:42,180
we're gonna find out
All right,
953
00:39:42,180 --> 00:39:43,781
who takes home the cash
in just a minute.
954
00:39:43,781 --> 00:39:46,050
But first, let's take a look
at some of the clips
955
00:39:46,050 --> 00:39:47,685
that didn't make our top three
956
00:39:47,685 --> 00:39:50,288
"Honorable Mention."
in tonight's
957
00:39:50,288 --> 00:39:54,425
♪♪
958
00:39:54,425 --> 00:39:57,228
[ Crash! ]
959
00:39:57,228 --> 00:39:59,998
♪♪
960
00:39:59,998 --> 00:40:02,300
Oh!
961
00:40:02,300 --> 00:40:03,835
[ Laughs ]
962
00:40:03,835 --> 00:40:05,470
♪♪
963
00:40:05,470 --> 00:40:07,105
Aah!
964
00:40:07,105 --> 00:40:08,673
♪♪
965
00:40:08,673 --> 00:40:10,909
[ Dog barking ]
966
00:40:10,909 --> 00:40:12,977
[ Whistle! ]
967
00:40:12,977 --> 00:40:16,147
Aah! Aah! Aah!
968
00:40:16,147 --> 00:40:17,782
[ Boing! ]
969
00:40:17,782 --> 00:40:19,851
[ Boing! Boing! Whistle! ]
970
00:40:19,851 --> 00:40:23,054
♪♪
971
00:40:23,054 --> 00:40:26,891
[ Applause ]
972
00:40:26,891 --> 00:40:30,428
hand out tonight's prizes --
Okay. It's time to
973
00:40:30,428 --> 00:40:31,696
$20,000 for first,
974
00:40:31,696 --> 00:40:34,966
$6,000 for second,
and $4,000 for third.
975
00:40:34,966 --> 00:40:36,100
Here we go.
976
00:40:36,100 --> 00:40:40,405
Our third place,
$4,000 winner is...
977
00:40:40,405 --> 00:40:41,873
"His Mudder's Butter Joke,"
978
00:40:41,873 --> 00:40:44,676
sent in by Bryn Marcus
from Spring, Texas.
979
00:40:44,676 --> 00:40:47,345
[ Cheers and applause ]
980
00:40:47,345 --> 00:40:49,147
Thank you.
981
00:40:49,147 --> 00:40:51,516
And the winner of the $20,000
982
00:40:51,516 --> 00:40:55,253
funniest home video is...
and tonight's
983
00:40:55,253 --> 00:40:56,754
"Parrot Calls Rover Over,"
984
00:40:56,754 --> 00:40:59,390
from Roxboro, North Carolina.
sent in by Shawn Hart
985
00:40:59,390 --> 00:41:02,694
We have Shawn, Greg,
and Ferris Bueller.
986
00:41:02,694 --> 00:41:05,697
Congratulations.
All right.
987
00:41:05,697 --> 00:41:07,031
Thank you.
Now...
988
00:41:07,031 --> 00:41:09,734
scrolling through your phone
...I hear you were
989
00:41:09,734 --> 00:41:11,469
and found this video
one night
990
00:41:11,469 --> 00:41:13,271
and decided to send it to us.
991
00:41:13,271 --> 00:41:15,440
But I hear it was, like,
four years ago.
992
00:41:15,440 --> 00:41:18,576
What made you wait
so long to send it?
993
00:41:18,576 --> 00:41:21,145
You know, I had a really
hard day at work one day
994
00:41:21,145 --> 00:41:23,247
and came home
and watched the show
995
00:41:23,247 --> 00:41:25,516
that I've been watching
for more than 30 years.
996
00:41:25,516 --> 00:41:29,187
And it sparked my memory.
And I'm like, "You know what?
997
00:41:29,187 --> 00:41:31,923
I bet I have some
pretty good videos of Ferris
998
00:41:31,923 --> 00:41:33,825
that would be great
to upload."
999
00:41:33,825 --> 00:41:35,526
Well, that was a great video,
1000
00:41:35,526 --> 00:41:37,695
you finally got it to us.
and I'm glad
1001
00:41:37,695 --> 00:41:41,866
just won you 20 grand.
And that decision
1002
00:41:41,866 --> 00:41:44,869
Yeah, so congratulations.
1003
00:41:44,869 --> 00:41:49,507
and a shot at $100,000.
You've got $20,000
1004
00:41:49,507 --> 00:41:51,242
Congratulations.
1005
00:41:51,242 --> 00:41:54,412
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
1006
00:41:54,412 --> 00:41:55,847
That's our show.
1007
00:41:55,847 --> 00:42:00,284
this is Alfonso signing off.
And until next week,
1008
00:42:00,284 --> 00:42:01,619
Literally. Yeah.
1009
00:42:01,619 --> 00:42:05,056
This is "off" in sign
language. Yeah. Yeah.
1010
00:42:05,056 --> 00:42:06,657
So we'll see you next time.
Yeah.
1011
00:42:06,657 --> 00:42:08,092
And don't forget --
If you upload a video
1012
00:42:08,092 --> 00:42:10,361
and it airs on the show,
we'll send you an "AFV" T
-shirt.
1013
00:42:10,361 --> 00:42:11,429
So good night, everybody.
1014
00:42:11,429 --> 00:42:12,964
send your video to me.
And, remember,
1015
00:42:12,964 --> 00:42:14,999
You might win 20 Gs.
Good night, y'all.
1016
00:42:14,999 --> 00:42:18,770
♪♪
1017
00:42:18,770 --> 00:42:21,873
-- Captions by VITAC --
1018
00:42:21,873 --> 00:42:30,581
♪♪
1019
00:42:30,581 --> 00:42:39,323
♪♪
1020
00:42:39,323 --> 00:42:47,999
♪♪
1021
00:42:47,999 --> 00:42:56,707
♪♪