1
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Subtitles & Sync By
<font color="#00ff00">FridayToker</font>

2
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Morning.

3
00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:18,128
Good morning.

4
00:01:57,367 --> 00:01:58,789
Good morning.

5
00:01:58,869 --> 00:02:00,371
Morning.

6
00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:52,973
Get your fingers
out of the icing.

7
00:02:53,048 --> 00:02:55,847
Tommy Lee, get your fingers
out of the frosting.

8
00:03:11,108 --> 00:03:12,610
[Bang]

9
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:13,990
Wave those flags, son.

10
00:03:14,069 --> 00:03:15,537
Get out of there!

11
00:03:15,612 --> 00:03:17,330
Yeah!
Hit them again!

12
00:03:17,406 --> 00:03:18,783
Get out of here!

13
00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:21,368
Get out of them trees, damn it!

14
00:03:21,451 --> 00:03:22,373
Aah!

15
00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:23,453
[Bang Bang]

16
00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:25,881
Yeah! Get 'em!
Migrate south, will you?

17
00:03:25,956 --> 00:03:27,253
Mama.

18
00:03:27,332 --> 00:03:30,006
Mama!

19
00:03:30,085 --> 00:03:32,008
Three more radios
for you, Shelby.

20
00:03:32,087 --> 00:03:33,339
Not now, Tommy.

21
00:03:33,422 --> 00:03:36,517
Mama, this nail polish
is drying way too dark.

22
00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:40,016
Practically paint my foot.
Looks like a stuck pig bled all over my hands.

23
00:03:40,095 --> 00:03:42,814
I'm sure I have
something that will do.

24
00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:45,233
Oh, no.

25
00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:47,060
It has to be delicate.

26
00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:48,612
If I don't have something,

27
00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:49,904
I will send your brothers

28
00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:51,527
to get delicate pink
nail polish.

29
00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:52,482
Mama, there's...

30
00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:53,738
just a minute.

31
00:03:53,817 --> 00:03:56,741
Great idea, Mama. I'd love to see
what the boys would pick out.

32
00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:58,072
Delivery man!

33
00:03:58,155 --> 00:04:00,078
Someone stop that truck!
Stop that...

34
00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:01,659
Aah!

35
00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:03,961
Don't put ice down my back!

36
00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:05,912
You should have
drowned them at birth.

37
00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:07,213
Shelby.

38
00:04:07,289 --> 00:04:09,007
See if you can get this.

39
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:10,334
Mama, my nails are wet.

40
00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:11,839
Shelby.

41
00:04:13,295 --> 00:04:14,171
Ma'am.

42
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:16,507
Would you look
at those, please?

43
00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:20,678
Myrtle, hi.

44
00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:21,853
[Bang]

45
00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:23,350
Hold on, please.

46
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:25,558
I'm going to get you right now!

47
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:26,562
[Bang]

48
00:04:26,641 --> 00:04:30,066
Drum, sweetheart,
I'm on the phone!

49
00:04:30,145 --> 00:04:31,146
[Bang]

50
00:04:31,229 --> 00:04:33,778
Stop that now!
I can't hear myself think!

51
00:04:33,857 --> 00:04:34,779
[Bang]

52
00:04:34,858 --> 00:04:37,782
Myrtle, the champagne glasses,
they're all broken.

53
00:04:37,861 --> 00:04:39,363
Help.

54
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:51,208
Spud!

55
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:02,310
[Television Plays]

56
00:05:02,385 --> 00:05:05,764
Spud, turn off
that stupid television.

57
00:05:05,847 --> 00:05:09,272
Get in here and finish
dyeing these Easter eggs.

58
00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:10,773
I ran out of stuff.

59
00:05:10,852 --> 00:05:12,775
That's why God
invented the A&P.

60
00:05:12,854 --> 00:05:14,777
I got to work on the truck.

61
00:05:14,856 --> 00:05:16,779
No. You got
to get the lead out.

62
00:05:16,858 --> 00:05:18,826
Yes, ma'am.
I live to serve

63
00:05:18,902 --> 00:05:21,781
if those eggs are not
at the church by noon,

64
00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:23,160
they don't get hidden.

65
00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:24,332
[Door Slams]

66
00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:26,830
Are you listening to me, Spud?

67
00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:32,124
Mrs.Jones?

68
00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:33,424
Are you Annelle?

69
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:36,219
Oh, you sweet thing.
Come on in.

70
00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:38,171
Excuse me.

71
00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:42,010
And pick up my green dress
at the cleaners!

72
00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:44,015
Am I interrupting something?

73
00:05:44,094 --> 00:05:46,517
No. I'm just screaming
at my husband.

74
00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:49,315
I can do that any time.

75
00:05:49,391 --> 00:05:51,769
Please, call me Truvy.

76
00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:53,525
Truvy. Thank you.

77
00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:55,860
Mama, look at this.

78
00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:57,862
This was in the hall closet.

79
00:05:57,941 --> 00:05:59,318
What is it?

80
00:05:59,401 --> 00:06:00,869
Rubbers.

81
00:06:00,944 --> 00:06:02,116
Tommy says Jonathan's planning

82
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:04,744
to cover the honeymoon
getaway car with these.

83
00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:07,041
Please stop him!

84
00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:08,460
Keep your voice down.

85
00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:09,912
Keep your voice-
Jonathan!

86
00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:12,373
Boys, I want to talk to you.

87
00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:13,422
Tommy.Jonathan!

88
00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:14,545
Tommy!

89
00:06:14,624 --> 00:06:18,879
Jonathan, don't you decorate
your sister's car with condoms!

90
00:06:18,962 --> 00:06:20,305
It's tacky!

91
00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:23,266
It's like talking
to a brick wall.

92
00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:24,263
[Bang]

93
00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:26,265
If he's trying
to drive me crazy

94
00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:27,391
it's too late.

95
00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:30,724
There must be a better way
to get rid of those birds.

96
00:06:30,807 --> 00:06:33,731
We could cut down all our trees

97
00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:35,278
or change
the migratory patterns

98
00:06:35,353 --> 00:06:36,570
of North American birds.

99
00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:39,240
You told him
to get rid of them.

100
00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:42,069
I had no idea he would alienate
the entire neighbourhood.

101
00:06:42,152 --> 00:06:43,904
The neighbourhood
would be more alienated

102
00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:46,285
if they got covered
in bird shit

103
00:06:46,364 --> 00:06:47,616
at my reception.

104
00:06:47,699 --> 00:06:51,294
Pretty talk.
You have to be so crude?

105
00:06:58,501 --> 00:07:00,629
[Coughing]

106
00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:05,259
Okay.

107
00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:07,094
Oops.
I see a hole.

108
00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:09,646
Yeah. I was hoping
you'd catch that.

109
00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:12,941
It's a little bit pouffier
than I would normally do,

110
00:07:13,016 --> 00:07:14,438
but I'm nervous.

111
00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:16,394
Oh, I'm not worried about that.

112
00:07:16,478 --> 00:07:18,901
I usually wrap
my entire head in toilet paper

113
00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:20,448
when I go to bed,

114
00:07:20,523 --> 00:07:22,446
so it gets pretty smooched down

115
00:07:22,525 --> 00:07:23,742
in that process, anyway.

116
00:07:23,818 --> 00:07:25,912
In my class
at the trade school,

117
00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:28,581
I was number one in
frosting and streaking.

118
00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:30,079
I did my own.

119
00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:31,785
Really?

120
00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:32,790
That's good.

121
00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:35,497
And I can usually
spot a bottle job

122
00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:37,002
at 20 paces.

123
00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:39,509
Your technique is really good.

124
00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:40,836
Thanks.

125
00:07:40,919 --> 00:07:44,924
I think your form and content
will improve with time.

126
00:07:45,006 --> 00:07:47,429
So, best I can tell, young lady,

127
00:07:47,509 --> 00:07:49,477
you've just landed yourself a job.

128
00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:52,305
Oh! Great!
Oh, thank you!

129
00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:53,982
Oh, thank you, Miss Truvy.

130
00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:55,980
No time for thanks
this morning.

131
00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:58,482
We'll be busier than
a one-armed paper hanger.

132
00:07:58,561 --> 00:07:59,813
Here.
Let me help you.

133
00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:00,988
I got it.

134
00:08:01,064 --> 00:08:03,567
You got hairs and fuzzies
all over you.

135
00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:06,073
There's so much static
electricity in this room,

136
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,871
I pick up everything
but boys and money.

137
00:08:13,201 --> 00:08:14,418
Louie!

138
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:16,371
Louie, hold up.

139
00:08:16,454 --> 00:08:18,001
I want you to meet Annelle.

140
00:08:18,081 --> 00:08:18,877
Hi.

141
00:08:18,957 --> 00:08:20,880
She's taking Judy's place.

142
00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:22,381
Swell.

143
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:25,843
Louie, take out the garbage!

144
00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:27,014
Can't!

145
00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:28,637
Late.

146
00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:31,978
What did you hire her for?

147
00:08:35,390 --> 00:08:36,642
Our son.

148
00:08:36,725 --> 00:08:39,820
We're so proud of him.

149
00:08:39,894 --> 00:08:42,864
Annelle, honey, what do you
say we talk some trash?

150
00:08:42,939 --> 00:08:44,031
Okay.

151
00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:47,660
I am so excited.

152
00:08:47,736 --> 00:08:49,329
I can't believe it's happening.

153
00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:50,656
I'm a beautician.

154
00:08:50,739 --> 00:08:53,868
Ah-ah-ah.
Glamour technician.

155
00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:55,793
Glamour technician.

156
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:58,247
And I'll have you know
you are working

157
00:08:58,329 --> 00:09:00,798
in the most successful shop
in this town.

158
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,547
I have a strict philosophy

159
00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:05,219
that I have stuck to
for 15 years...

160
00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:08,549
There is no such thing
as natural beauty.

161
00:09:08,631 --> 00:09:10,975
There is no such thing
as natural beauty.

162
00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:14,271
You remember that,
or we're all out of a job.

163
00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:17,394
Look at me. It takes some
effort to look like this.

164
00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:19,226
Oh, I can see that.

165
00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:22,320
How long have you been in town?

166
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:23,738
A few weeks.

167
00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:24,939
New in town.

168
00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:27,993
It must be exciting
being in a new place.

169
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:30,947
I wouldn't know.
I've lived here all my life.

170
00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:34,249
Well, tell me things
about yourself.

171
00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:35,746
There's nothing to tell.

172
00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:38,578
I live here.
I've got a job now.

173
00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:39,913
That's it.

174
00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:42,419
Can I borrow these back
issues of Southern Hair?

175
00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:43,751
Sure. Take them.

176
00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:45,085
It is essential

177
00:09:45,168 --> 00:09:47,921
to stay abreast
of the latest styles.

178
00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:49,927
I'm glad to see your interest.

179
00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:52,429
Well, you must live close by.

180
00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:54,227
At least in walking distance.

181
00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:55,929
I didn't see a car.

182
00:09:58,181 --> 00:10:00,400
I don't have a car.

183
00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:02,898
I've been staying
across the river

184
00:10:02,977 --> 00:10:04,604
at Robeline's boarding house.

185
00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:07,611
That's quite a walk.

186
00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:09,408
Ruth Robeline.

187
00:10:09,484 --> 00:10:11,828
Now there is a stow for you.

188
00:10:11,903 --> 00:10:14,782
She is a troubled,
twisted soul.

189
00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:18,368
Her whole life has been
an experiment in terror.

190
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:21,000
Her husband got killed
in World War ll.

191
00:10:21,079 --> 00:10:23,878
Then her son got killed
in Vietnam.

192
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:25,709
When it comes to suffering,

193
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:28,295
she is right up there
with Elizabeth Taylor.

194
00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:29,971
I had no idea.

195
00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:31,548
[Horn Honks]

196
00:10:33,216 --> 00:10:35,059
Hello, Clairee!

197
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:36,261
Good morning.

198
00:10:36,344 --> 00:10:38,346
Annelle, I'd like
to introduce you

199
00:10:38,429 --> 00:10:40,352
to the former first lady
of Chinquapin...

200
00:10:40,431 --> 00:10:41,478
Mrs. Belcher.

201
00:10:41,558 --> 00:10:44,027
Clairee, I'd like you
to meet Annelle.

202
00:10:44,102 --> 00:10:45,649
I'm a little embarrassed.
I'm windblown.

203
00:10:45,728 --> 00:10:48,481
I've just been to the dedication
of the new children's park.

204
00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:50,317
Yeah.
How did that go?

205
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:51,777
Beautifully,

206
00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:55,615
except Janice Van Meter
got hit with a baseball.

207
00:10:55,697 --> 00:10:57,165
It was fabulous.

208
00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:58,492
Was she hurt?

209
00:10:58,575 --> 00:11:01,454
I doubt it.
She got hit in the head.

210
00:11:01,536 --> 00:11:04,005
Janice Van Meter's
the current mayor's wife.

211
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:05,172
We hate her.

212
00:11:05,248 --> 00:11:08,001
They named the new park
after Clairee's late husband.

213
00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:10,303
This town is so proud of her.

214
00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:11,846
That's nice.

215
00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:14,925
What's your family name, dear?

216
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:17,978
Well, my married name is Dupuy,

217
00:11:18,052 --> 00:11:20,350
and I'm originally from Zwolle.

218
00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:21,773
How nice.

219
00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:23,816
Annelle, honey, there's
some towels in the dryer.

220
00:11:23,892 --> 00:11:26,645
Would you fold them
and bring them in?

221
00:11:26,728 --> 00:11:27,695
Sure.

222
00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:28,646
Thank you.

223
00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:30,983
Sweet gal.
Where did you find her?

224
00:11:31,065 --> 00:11:32,317
Yesterday, when Judy quit,

225
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:33,822
I called the trade school

226
00:11:33,902 --> 00:11:36,826
and told them
to send me a warm body.

227
00:11:36,905 --> 00:11:39,829
Annelle was the valedictorian
of the hairdo class.

228
00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:42,832
And I think there's a story there.

229
00:11:42,911 --> 00:11:44,754
What makes you say that?

230
00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:46,706
Well, for starters,
she's married,

231
00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:49,713
but she's living
over at Ruth Robeline's.

232
00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:51,135
Alone.

233
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:54,260
I'd get to the bottom of this
if I were you...

234
00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:56,808
if you have silverware
you'd like to keep.

235
00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:59,762
I'm not worried.
She's as sweet as she can be.

236
00:11:59,844 --> 00:12:04,065
Besides, I kind of like the idea
of hiring somebody with a past.

237
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:05,813
She can't be more than 18.

238
00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:08,395
She hasn't had time
to have a past.

239
00:12:08,478 --> 00:12:09,730
Get with it, Clairee.

240
00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:11,064
This is the '80s.

241
00:12:11,147 --> 00:12:13,900
If you achieve puberty,
you can achieve a past.

242
00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:14,905
[Bang Bang]

243
00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:15,906
Whoa!

244
00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:17,077
That man!

245
00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:18,996
I swear, I don't know

246
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:21,325
how M'Lynn puts up with that.

247
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:26,162
Go on! Get out of here!

248
00:12:59,862 --> 00:13:00,954
Jackson, please.

249
00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:03,408
I'm going to talk
some sense into you.

250
00:13:03,491 --> 00:13:06,836
It's bad luck to see me
before the wedding.

251
00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:09,539
So you are going to many me.

252
00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:10,544
Jackson...

253
00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:13,968
We can work this out,
Shelby, please.

254
00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:16,466
You want to
go through with this.

255
00:13:16,546 --> 00:13:19,800
I don't want to give back
all the wedding presents.

256
00:13:19,882 --> 00:13:24,137
That VCR alone is worth
getting married for,

257
00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:26,188
and I love you.

258
00:13:26,264 --> 00:13:28,642
[Bang Bang]

259
00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:30,477
If Daddy catches you in here,

260
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:32,983
whether or not I can
carry your children

261
00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:34,314
will not matter.

262
00:13:34,397 --> 00:13:35,990
He will cut your thing off.

263
00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:37,863
Say you're going to many me.

264
00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:40,411
I hate suspense.

265
00:13:41,738 --> 00:13:44,662
Okay. Okay.

266
00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:47,961
You meet me at 2:00.
Presbyterian church.

267
00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:51,085
I'll be the one in the veil
down front.

268
00:13:56,586 --> 00:13:57,678
Oh.

269
00:13:57,754 --> 00:14:00,223
I'm going to make you
very happy.

270
00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:08,147
We'll see.

271
00:14:12,727 --> 00:14:15,947
Boy, give me the sports.

272
00:14:22,612 --> 00:14:25,206
Boys, we're off to Truvy's.

273
00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:28,034
Jonathan, keep your eye
on your brother Tommy.

274
00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:29,369
Am I my brother's keeper?

275
00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:31,705
Your brother's warden
is what you are.

276
00:14:31,788 --> 00:14:33,711
That horrible woman
is coming by

277
00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:36,168
to deliver the groom's cake
in about an...

278
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,551
Where's your father?

279
00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:42,473
His coffee kicked in.

280
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,140
Shelby, let's go.

281
00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:49,939
Okay, Mama.
I said I'd be right there.

282
00:14:54,018 --> 00:14:57,238
Shelby, you're going to be
late for your own wedding.

283
00:14:57,313 --> 00:15:00,408
I'm wearing my hair down
'cause Jackson likes it down.

284
00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:03,407
The veil would be prettier
with your hair up.

285
00:15:03,486 --> 00:15:05,580
Get over it, Mama.

286
00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:06,656
Whoops.

287
00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:07,740
[ Woof Woof]

288
00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:10,668
Come here!
Stop it, Rhett!

289
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:12,461
Oh, shit!

290
00:15:12,537 --> 00:15:14,005
It's Miss Ouiser.

291
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:15,753
Back door.

292
00:15:15,832 --> 00:15:17,584
[Woof Woof Woof]

293
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:20,629
Drum!

294
00:15:20,711 --> 00:15:21,883
Rhett!

295
00:15:21,963 --> 00:15:22,964
M'Lynn!

296
00:15:23,047 --> 00:15:25,596
Open the door!
I know you're in there!

297
00:15:25,675 --> 00:15:27,268
Drum!

298
00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:29,437
I think there's
somebody at the door.

299
00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:31,765
I think it's for Daddy.

300
00:15:31,848 --> 00:15:33,816
I know you're in there!

301
00:15:33,891 --> 00:15:35,268
[Pounding On Door]

302
00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:36,819
That is all she wrote!

303
00:15:36,894 --> 00:15:38,737
Say please.

304
00:15:38,813 --> 00:15:39,860
Thank you.

305
00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:43,443
Get over here, Rhett!

306
00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:45,153
Stop pulling!

307
00:15:45,236 --> 00:15:47,113
Sit. Oh, Rhett!

308
00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:49,415
Sit! Sit.

309
00:15:51,242 --> 00:15:53,870
Ouiser, you look
like hammered shit.

310
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:55,626
Don't talk to me like that!

311
00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:58,458
I'm sorry You look
like regular shit.

312
00:15:58,541 --> 00:16:01,135
I have such a bone
to pick with you.

313
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,014
Woof! Aah!

314
00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:06,466
Stop egging him on.

315
00:16:06,549 --> 00:16:07,471
Come here.

316
00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:10,224
Listen, I have just
come from the vet.

317
00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:12,604
Come here, Rhett.

318
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:14,307
Whitey Black says

319
00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:15,983
that all this noise

320
00:16:16,058 --> 00:16:17,605
that you've
been making around here

321
00:16:17,685 --> 00:16:19,153
for the last few days

322
00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:22,323
has been causing a nervous
condition in my dog.

323
00:16:22,398 --> 00:16:25,151
Look at this.
All his hair's falling out.

324
00:16:25,234 --> 00:16:26,827
[ Woof Woof]

325
00:16:26,903 --> 00:16:28,905
I got to give this animal
tranquillizers.

326
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,740
Whitey Black is a moron.

327
00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:33,667
I'm not even sure
he has opposable thumbs.

328
00:16:33,743 --> 00:16:37,122
Now if you'll excuse me,
I have work out in the backyard.

329
00:16:39,081 --> 00:16:40,583
Hi, Miss Ouiser.

330
00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:42,418
Ecch. Leave me alone.

331
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:43,924
Now you listen to me.

332
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:46,426
I don't know
if I'm coming or going.

333
00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:48,850
I heard you got so screwed up

334
00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:51,303
you cut your dog
out of your will

335
00:16:51,385 --> 00:16:53,433
and had an ungrateful
nephew put to sleep.

336
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:55,766
I'm at the end of my rope.

337
00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:59,227
Well, tie a noose in it
and slip it over your head.

338
00:17:01,479 --> 00:17:03,277
Oh, damn it, Ouiser.

339
00:17:04,398 --> 00:17:06,992
I don't want
to have to kill you.

340
00:17:07,068 --> 00:17:08,661
Boys! Bring me my gun!

341
00:17:08,736 --> 00:17:10,613
Don't you threaten me,
Drum Eatenton,

342
00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:12,619
or I will call the police.

343
00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:15,247
I got to scare away
about five zillion birds

344
00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:17,249
this afternoon before
Shelby's reception.

345
00:17:17,328 --> 00:17:19,376
If I don't, I'll have
to deal with my wife,

346
00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:21,753
and I make it a point
never to deal with my wife.

347
00:17:21,832 --> 00:17:23,630
But that dog is on
his last legs.

348
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:26,303
What am I going to do
with that poor animal?

349
00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:27,756
Serve him on toast.

350
00:17:30,633 --> 00:17:32,806
You get those magnolias
out of my tree?

351
00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:35,980
The judge has not decided
whose tree that is exactly.

352
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:37,807
It is mine.

353
00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:40,734
I will speak to
M'Lynn about this.

354
00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:46,157
Now, are these chocolate
chips semisweet or milk?

355
00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:47,575
They're milk.

356
00:17:47,650 --> 00:17:49,903
Is the Karo syrup
light or dark?

357
00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:51,408
It's a matter of taste.

358
00:17:51,487 --> 00:17:52,739
Where's the other one

359
00:17:52,822 --> 00:17:54,039
you were talking about...

360
00:17:54,115 --> 00:17:55,241
A cuppa-cuppa-cup?

361
00:17:55,324 --> 00:17:57,418
That's simple. You don't
need to write that down.

362
00:17:57,493 --> 00:17:59,587
A cup of flour, a cup of sugar

363
00:17:59,662 --> 00:18:01,835
a cup of fruit cocktail
with the juice,

364
00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:04,133
and you mix and bake at 350

365
00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:05,255
to a golden bubbly.

366
00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:07,257
Sounds awfully rich.

367
00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:10,636
It is. So I serve it over ice
cream to cut the sweetness.

368
00:18:10,715 --> 00:18:12,467
I'll be right back, honey.

369
00:18:13,718 --> 00:18:16,062
Well, M'Lynn, looks like
you're ready to roll.

370
00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:19,061
I think we can trust
Annelle to do that.

371
00:18:19,140 --> 00:18:21,893
Honey, her coiffure card's
in a box on the counter.

372
00:18:21,976 --> 00:18:23,228
Oh, I don't know.

373
00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:24,733
Today is a very special day,

374
00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:27,406
and my work tends to be too
pouffe when I'm nervous.

375
00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:29,734
You stop that.
You're a professional now,

376
00:18:29,817 --> 00:18:32,036
so get over there
and bang some hair.

377
00:18:34,822 --> 00:18:37,541
Does your dress
have to go over your head?

378
00:18:38,701 --> 00:18:39,998
No.

379
00:18:40,077 --> 00:18:41,875
Oh, good.

380
00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:43,794
I'm sorry.

381
00:18:43,873 --> 00:18:44,920
Relax.

382
00:18:44,999 --> 00:18:46,922
You can't screw up her hair.

383
00:18:47,001 --> 00:18:49,675
Just make it look like a
brown football helmet.

384
00:18:49,754 --> 00:18:52,382
I must have missed
the passage in Emily Post

385
00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:55,935
that said all abuse is heaped
on the mother of the bride.

386
00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:58,229
Oh, hush, girls.

387
00:18:58,304 --> 00:19:00,306
Shelby, your mama
never tells us much.

388
00:19:00,389 --> 00:19:01,515
What's Jackson like?

389
00:19:01,599 --> 00:19:02,851
He's really cute.

390
00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:04,856
I thought he was a pest at first,

391
00:19:04,935 --> 00:19:07,154
but he kind of grew on me
and now I love him.

392
00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:09,698
You made
a very good catch, Shelby.

393
00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:12,994
Louisiana lawyers do well,
whether they want to or not.

394
00:19:13,069 --> 00:19:14,366
I don't really care.

395
00:19:14,445 --> 00:19:15,697
Don't get me wrong.

396
00:19:15,780 --> 00:19:17,703
The money's real nice and all,

397
00:19:17,782 --> 00:19:21,332
but I just like the idea
of growing old with somebody.

398
00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:23,333
My dream is to get old

399
00:19:23,412 --> 00:19:26,336
and sit on the back porch
covered with grandchildren

400
00:19:26,415 --> 00:19:28,417
and say “no”
and “stop that.”.

401
00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:30,799
Are you going to quit
your nursing job?

402
00:19:30,878 --> 00:19:32,300
Never. I love it.

403
00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:34,849
I love being around
all those babies.

404
00:19:34,924 --> 00:19:36,346
Drum and I both feel

405
00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:38,894
she should not work
after she gets married.

406
00:19:38,969 --> 00:19:41,313
I'm so anxious to discuss this topic

407
00:19:41,389 --> 00:19:43,062
for the 900th time this week.

408
00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:45,268
You should not be on your feet
all day long.

409
00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:47,353
You should be kinder
to your circulatory system.

410
00:19:47,436 --> 00:19:49,905
You know what you need
in here, Truvy?

411
00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:51,232
You need a radio.

412
00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:53,738
Music is a wonderful thing
to have in the background.

413
00:19:53,818 --> 00:19:57,789
It takes the pressure off everybody
feeling they have to talk so much.

414
00:19:57,863 --> 00:19:59,206
I used to have one,

415
00:19:59,281 --> 00:20:00,908
but I slammed it
against the wall

416
00:20:00,991 --> 00:20:03,665
when I couldn't figure out
where the batteries went.

417
00:20:03,744 --> 00:20:05,166
Of course I know now

418
00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:08,420
I was suffering from
premenstrual syndrome.

419
00:20:08,499 --> 00:20:11,594
Radio- What did I just...

420
00:20:11,669 --> 00:20:13,467
Oh, yes.

421
00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:17,221
The Antilley family
is selling KPPD.

422
00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:20,348
I wonder how much
radio stations sell for.

423
00:20:20,428 --> 00:20:23,352
Miss Clairee, you should buy KPPD.

424
00:20:23,431 --> 00:20:25,024
You got plenty of money.

425
00:20:25,099 --> 00:20:27,568
What would I do
with a radio station?

426
00:20:27,643 --> 00:20:28,860
Business never interested me

427
00:20:28,936 --> 00:20:31,280
Lloyd took care
of all that stuff.

428
00:20:32,481 --> 00:20:35,075
I hope you and Jackson
will be as happy

429
00:20:35,151 --> 00:20:36,698
as Lloyd and I were.

430
00:20:36,777 --> 00:20:38,871
We had such a good time...

431
00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:40,914
until November.

432
00:20:42,366 --> 00:20:45,791
At least he hung on
through the state play-offs.

433
00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:48,840
Miss Clairee,
there are still good times to be had.

434
00:20:49,999 --> 00:20:53,549
Well, I really do love football,

435
00:20:53,627 --> 00:20:57,507
but it's hard to parlay that
into a reason to live.

436
00:20:58,674 --> 00:21:00,301
What are your colours, Shelby?

437
00:21:00,384 --> 00:21:01,977
They're Blush and Bashful.

438
00:21:02,052 --> 00:21:03,645
Ooh!

439
00:21:03,721 --> 00:21:05,439
Her colours are pink and pink.

440
00:21:05,514 --> 00:21:08,768
My colours are Blush
and Bashful, Mama.

441
00:21:08,851 --> 00:21:11,650
How precious is this wedding
going to get?

442
00:21:11,729 --> 00:21:13,697
My colours are Blush and Bashful.

443
00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:15,867
I have chosen two shades of pink.

444
00:21:15,941 --> 00:21:17,739
One is much deeper than the other.

445
00:21:17,818 --> 00:21:20,947
But the bridesmaids' dresses,
they are really beautiful.

446
00:21:21,030 --> 00:21:23,328
The ceremony will be, too.

447
00:21:23,407 --> 00:21:25,785
The walls are banked
with sprays of flowers

448
00:21:25,868 --> 00:21:28,462
in my two shades
of Blush and Bashful,

449
00:21:28,537 --> 00:21:31,962
pink carpet specially
laid out for my service

450
00:21:32,041 --> 00:21:33,293
and pink silk bunting

451
00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:36,254
draped over anything
that would stand still.

452
00:21:36,337 --> 00:21:39,841
That sanctuary looks like it's
been hosed down with Pepto-Bismol.

453
00:21:39,924 --> 00:21:43,144
I like pink.
Pink is my signature colour.

454
00:21:43,219 --> 00:21:44,562
How many bridesmaids?

455
00:21:44,637 --> 00:21:46,059
Nine.

456
00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:48,106
Nine? Good lord.

457
00:21:48,182 --> 00:21:49,308
Exactly.

458
00:21:49,391 --> 00:21:52,486
Mama made me have my cousins
and Margie St. Maurice.

459
00:21:52,561 --> 00:21:54,484
Let's not go into this now.

460
00:21:54,563 --> 00:21:56,156
There was no way around it.

461
00:21:56,232 --> 00:21:57,779
It will be pretentious.

462
00:21:57,858 --> 00:21:59,155
And Daddy always says,

463
00:21:59,235 --> 00:22:01,704
“An ounce of pretension's
worth a pound of manure.”.

464
00:22:01,779 --> 00:22:04,202
The poet laureate
of Dogwood Lane.

465
00:22:04,281 --> 00:22:06,500
Mama, I wish you'd
get off Daddy's back.

466
00:22:06,575 --> 00:22:07,667
Shelby, look. I don't...

467
00:22:07,743 --> 00:22:09,495
Fill us in on the reception.

468
00:22:09,578 --> 00:22:13,048
My reception, my reception...

469
00:22:13,123 --> 00:22:15,592
Ferns, dancing, tons of people,

470
00:22:15,668 --> 00:22:18,296
every pink flower
west of the Mississippi,

471
00:22:18,379 --> 00:22:20,507
wedding cake
in the dining room,

472
00:22:20,589 --> 00:22:24,059
and the groom's cake
hidden in the carport.

473
00:22:24,134 --> 00:22:26,978
Shelby and I,
we agree on one thing...

474
00:22:27,096 --> 00:22:29,724
The groom's cake.
The groom's cake.

475
00:22:29,807 --> 00:22:31,059
It's awful.

476
00:22:31,141 --> 00:22:34,361
It's in the shape
of a giant armadillo.

477
00:22:34,436 --> 00:22:35,983
An armadillo?

478
00:22:36,063 --> 00:22:37,565
You're joking, right?

479
00:22:37,648 --> 00:22:40,492
Jackson wanted a cake
in the shape of an armadillo.

480
00:22:40,568 --> 00:22:41,740
His aunt makes them.

481
00:22:41,819 --> 00:22:43,617
It's unusual.

482
00:22:43,696 --> 00:22:44,788
It's repulsive.

483
00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:46,866
It's got Grey icing

484
00:22:46,949 --> 00:22:49,623
I can't even begin to think
how you make Grey icing.

485
00:22:49,702 --> 00:22:53,127
Worse, the cake part
is red velvet cake...

486
00:22:53,205 --> 00:22:54,422
Blood red.

487
00:22:54,498 --> 00:22:57,217
People are going to be hacking
into this poor animal.

488
00:22:57,293 --> 00:22:59,216
It looks like
it's bleeding to death.

489
00:22:59,295 --> 00:23:01,468
The rehearsal supper
was a real experience.

490
00:23:01,547 --> 00:23:03,891
Mama, it wasn't that bad.

491
00:23:03,966 --> 00:23:06,719
It was at Jackson's uncle's
place on the river.

492
00:23:06,802 --> 00:23:08,930
Jackson's from
a good ol' Southern family

493
00:23:09,013 --> 00:23:10,481
with good ol' Southern values...

494
00:23:10,556 --> 00:23:12,558
Either shoot it,
stuff it, or marry it.

495
00:23:12,641 --> 00:23:15,440
They're simply outdoorsy,
that's all.

496
00:23:15,519 --> 00:23:18,739
Did y'all do anything
especially romantic?

497
00:23:18,814 --> 00:23:20,737
We drove down
to Frenchman's Point

498
00:23:20,816 --> 00:23:22,238
and went parking.

499
00:23:22,318 --> 00:23:23,444
Ooh.

500
00:23:23,527 --> 00:23:26,155
Oh, Shelby, really.

501
00:23:26,238 --> 00:23:27,706
Oh, M'Lynn, leave her alone.

502
00:23:27,781 --> 00:23:29,408
This is my favourite part.

503
00:23:29,491 --> 00:23:31,038
This is the romantic part.

504
00:23:31,118 --> 00:23:34,042
Now, see, that's what
really melts my butter.

505
00:23:34,121 --> 00:23:36,590
Well, then,
we went skinny-dipping,

506
00:23:36,665 --> 00:23:38,838
and we did things that
frightened the fish.

507
00:23:38,918 --> 00:23:41,922
It's been a long time since we've
had a youngster in this place.

508
00:23:42,004 --> 00:23:44,427
And we talked
and talked and talked.

509
00:23:44,506 --> 00:23:46,258
I love those kind of talks...

510
00:23:46,342 --> 00:23:48,765
In the arms of
the man you love.

511
00:23:48,844 --> 00:23:51,097
Actually, we fought
most of the time.

512
00:23:51,180 --> 00:23:52,682
You fought?

513
00:23:52,765 --> 00:23:55,143
'Cause I told him
I wouldn't many him.

514
00:23:55,225 --> 00:23:56,772
What?

515
00:23:56,852 --> 00:23:59,196
Why did you do
a thing like that?

516
00:23:59,271 --> 00:24:01,945
Oh, it's okay now.
We worked it all out.

517
00:24:02,024 --> 00:24:05,995
Oh, it was probably one of those
last-minute jitter things.

518
00:24:06,070 --> 00:24:08,368
No, but the wedding's still on.

519
00:24:08,447 --> 00:24:10,620
Well, thank goodness,

520
00:24:10,699 --> 00:24:14,294
because this is going in
the hairdo hall of fame.

521
00:24:14,370 --> 00:24:15,792
Shelby, you scared us.

522
00:24:15,871 --> 00:24:17,839
That wasn't a nice thing
to do to your mama.

523
00:24:17,915 --> 00:24:22,295
Never say a thing like that to a woman
who's marinating 50 pounds of crab claws.

524
00:24:22,378 --> 00:24:26,554
Oh, but the making up
can be so romantic.

525
00:24:27,758 --> 00:24:30,011
I miss romance so much.

526
00:24:30,094 --> 00:24:32,563
Oh, Truvy.
It can't be that bad.

527
00:24:32,638 --> 00:24:33,981
Oh, really, now?

528
00:24:34,056 --> 00:24:36,809
The last romantic thing
my husband did for me

529
00:24:36,892 --> 00:24:38,144
was back in 1972.

530
00:24:38,227 --> 00:24:41,527
He enclosed this carport
so I could support him.

531
00:24:41,605 --> 00:24:44,575
I think I have something
that could cheer you up.

532
00:24:44,650 --> 00:24:46,573
Drum and I have been planning

533
00:24:46,652 --> 00:24:48,029
on talking to your husband

534
00:24:48,112 --> 00:24:50,080
about building a
room onto our house.

535
00:24:50,155 --> 00:24:56,333
If you'll give Spud a job, I'll give you hot
oil treatments for the rest of your life.

536
00:24:56,412 --> 00:24:58,380
Annelle,
this looks pretty good.

537
00:24:58,455 --> 00:25:01,004
I think you know
what you're doing.

538
00:25:01,083 --> 00:25:02,005
[Annelle] Thank you.

539
00:25:02,084 --> 00:25:04,462
Mrs. Eatenton,
you have great hair.

540
00:25:04,545 --> 00:25:07,014
Your scalp's as
clean as a whistle.

541
00:25:07,089 --> 00:25:07,965
[M'Lynn] I try.

542
00:25:08,048 --> 00:25:09,846
[Truvy]
It must run in the family.

543
00:25:09,925 --> 00:25:13,304
The young 'un's got the prettiest
hair I ever had my hands in.

544
00:25:13,387 --> 00:25:15,856
Just because I'm bragging
on you, don't get lazy.

545
00:25:15,931 --> 00:25:17,183
Hold your head up.

546
00:25:17,266 --> 00:25:18,392
Stop it.

547
00:25:18,475 --> 00:25:19,442
Shelby?

548
00:25:19,518 --> 00:25:21,520
Shelby.

549
00:25:21,603 --> 00:25:22,650
M'Lynn!

550
00:25:23,605 --> 00:25:25,278
I'll get some juice.

551
00:25:26,316 --> 00:25:29,069
Truvy, there's some
candy in my purse.

552
00:25:29,153 --> 00:25:31,247
I have some right here.

553
00:25:32,531 --> 00:25:34,204
Shelby, Shelby, hold on.

554
00:25:34,283 --> 00:25:36,957
Clairee's getting you
some juice.

555
00:25:37,036 --> 00:25:38,208
Shelby, Shelby, Shelby.

556
00:25:38,287 --> 00:25:39,664
Should I get her a cookie?

557
00:25:39,747 --> 00:25:40,794
No. Juice is better.

558
00:25:40,873 --> 00:25:43,046
Here's the juice.

559
00:25:43,125 --> 00:25:45,844
Shelby.
Shelby, you need some juice.

560
00:25:45,919 --> 00:25:47,091
You need some juice.

561
00:25:47,171 --> 00:25:48,297
Stop it, Mama.

562
00:25:48,380 --> 00:25:49,256
Drink the juice.

563
00:25:49,339 --> 00:25:50,340
Please.

564
00:25:50,424 --> 00:25:53,974
No! Stop it, Mama!
I have some candy in my purse.

565
00:25:54,053 --> 00:25:57,057
You didn't bring your purse, sweetheart.
You didn't bring your purse.

566
00:25:57,139 --> 00:25:58,607
No, you didn't.
Here you go.

567
00:25:58,682 --> 00:26:01,686
There you go.
Drink some of this.

568
00:26:03,645 --> 00:26:05,238
It's not any wonder,

569
00:26:05,314 --> 00:26:08,033
with all this running around
and wedding nonsense.

570
00:26:08,108 --> 00:26:11,078
Excuse me. Should I call
the doctor or something?

571
00:26:11,153 --> 00:26:12,154
No, no.

572
00:26:12,237 --> 00:26:13,409
She's a diabetic.

573
00:26:13,489 --> 00:26:16,413
She just has a little too
much insulin, that's all.

574
00:26:16,492 --> 00:26:19,086
A little more in her,
she'll be all right.

575
00:26:19,161 --> 00:26:22,165
If you don't leave me alone,
I'm going to leave.

576
00:26:22,247 --> 00:26:24,420
I'd love to see you try.

577
00:26:24,500 --> 00:26:25,626
Cooperate, please.

578
00:26:25,709 --> 00:26:27,632
Honey, drink, please.

579
00:26:27,711 --> 00:26:29,805
Come on now.
That a girl.

580
00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:31,848
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

581
00:26:31,924 --> 00:26:33,767
There you go, there you go.

582
00:26:33,842 --> 00:26:36,095
There, there, there.
That's a start.

583
00:26:36,178 --> 00:26:38,226
This one hit her fast.

584
00:26:38,305 --> 00:26:41,184
She's been so upset lately.

585
00:26:41,266 --> 00:26:44,896
Dr. Mitchell told her
on her last appointment...

586
00:26:46,688 --> 00:26:48,190
children aren't possible.

587
00:26:49,858 --> 00:26:53,032
Don't talk about me
like I'm not here.

588
00:26:53,904 --> 00:26:57,875
Oh, oh, oh.
She's making some sense now.

589
00:26:57,950 --> 00:26:59,497
Yes, she is.

590
00:26:59,576 --> 00:27:02,580
This one was not bad at all.
It was not bad at all.

591
00:27:02,663 --> 00:27:05,883
Now I think we need
a little more juice.

592
00:27:05,958 --> 00:27:08,052
Could I do something to help?

593
00:27:08,127 --> 00:27:11,051
No. She'll be fine.
Don't fuss over her.

594
00:27:11,130 --> 00:27:13,474
Normality is very
important to Shelby.

595
00:27:13,549 --> 00:27:14,926
Here, M'Lynn.
Thanks.

596
00:27:15,008 --> 00:27:18,228
I am really sorry about
the children part, M'Lynn.

597
00:27:18,303 --> 00:27:19,725
I know.

598
00:27:19,805 --> 00:27:22,103
Shelby's afraid that Jackson
will be throwing away

599
00:27:22,182 --> 00:27:23,525
his chance to have children.

600
00:27:25,227 --> 00:27:27,571
Jackson said...

601
00:27:28,897 --> 00:27:31,491
“Shelby, don't be stupid.

602
00:27:31,567 --> 00:27:34,821
There's plenty of kids out there
need good homes.”.

603
00:27:34,903 --> 00:27:36,576
Drink some.

604
00:27:39,199 --> 00:27:41,076
“We'll adopt 10 of them.

605
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:43,083
We'll buy them
if we have to.”

606
00:27:43,162 --> 00:27:45,836
Jackson sounds like
good people to me.

607
00:27:54,464 --> 00:27:56,262
Oh, Mama, I'm sorry.

608
00:27:56,341 --> 00:27:59,015
That's all right, honey.
Oh, it's all right.

609
00:27:59,094 --> 00:28:01,017
It's all over now.
It's over.

610
00:28:01,096 --> 00:28:02,313
You hold your juice.

611
00:28:02,389 --> 00:28:03,606
Okay.

612
00:28:03,682 --> 00:28:06,185
It's all over.
Hold your juice.

613
00:28:06,268 --> 00:28:07,190
All right.

614
00:28:07,269 --> 00:28:09,317
Okay.

615
00:28:09,396 --> 00:28:10,522
You all right?

616
00:28:10,606 --> 00:28:12,449
Oh, Truvy, I'm sorry.

617
00:28:12,524 --> 00:28:13,741
Oh, I'll fix it.

618
00:28:13,817 --> 00:28:15,945
We'll fix it.

619
00:28:18,655 --> 00:28:19,952
Okay.

620
00:28:23,285 --> 00:28:24,286
Okay.

621
00:28:25,662 --> 00:28:28,336
What did I do with my gun?
Where did you leave it?

622
00:28:28,415 --> 00:28:30,634
How the hell do I know?

623
00:28:30,709 --> 00:28:32,803
Well, come on.
We have work to do.

624
00:28:32,878 --> 00:28:34,004
Daylight's burning.

625
00:28:34,087 --> 00:28:36,465
We're going to get rid
of some birds.

626
00:28:42,054 --> 00:28:44,603
Whoo!
Got the arrows, Daddy.

627
00:28:44,681 --> 00:28:46,103
All right, all right.

628
00:28:46,183 --> 00:28:48,777
Hey! Hey!
Lookee here, lool<ee here.

629
00:28:49,811 --> 00:28:51,188
Dad, I got the target.

630
00:28:51,271 --> 00:28:54,150
No. We're not going
target shooting. Forget it.

631
00:28:55,442 --> 00:28:57,991
Miss Clairee, what cute shoes.

632
00:28:58,070 --> 00:28:59,572
You think so?

633
00:28:59,655 --> 00:29:01,498
I'm not so sure myself.

634
00:29:01,573 --> 00:29:04,122
They seem a little
too racy for me.

635
00:29:04,201 --> 00:29:05,828
I'll probably give them away.

636
00:29:05,911 --> 00:29:08,835
They're just
too cha-cha for words.

637
00:29:08,914 --> 00:29:10,587
I'll buy them from you.

638
00:29:10,666 --> 00:29:11,792
What size you wear?

639
00:29:11,875 --> 00:29:13,252
I wear a size 6,

640
00:29:13,335 --> 00:29:16,555
but a 7 feels so good
I buy a size 8.

641
00:29:16,630 --> 00:29:17,631
They're 81/2.

642
00:29:17,714 --> 00:29:19,136
Perfect.

643
00:29:19,216 --> 00:29:20,968
Lord, give us strength.

644
00:29:22,177 --> 00:29:25,147
Come here, Rhett!

645
00:29:25,222 --> 00:29:27,190
That is one ugly dog.

646
00:29:27,266 --> 00:29:28,688
What kind of dog is that?

647
00:29:28,767 --> 00:29:31,020
If it had hair,
a Saint Bernard.

648
00:29:31,103 --> 00:29:34,607
This is it. I've found it.
I am in hell.

649
00:29:34,690 --> 00:29:36,033
Good morning, Ouiser.

650
00:29:36,108 --> 00:29:38,577
Don't try to get
on my good side.

651
00:29:38,652 --> 00:29:40,450
I no longer have one.

652
00:29:40,529 --> 00:29:42,327
You're a little early,
ain't you?

653
00:29:42,406 --> 00:29:44,374
That is precisely
why I'm here...

654
00:29:44,449 --> 00:29:46,702
to talk to M'Lynn
about her husband.

655
00:29:46,785 --> 00:29:50,130
He is a boil
on the butt of humanity.

656
00:29:50,205 --> 00:29:53,584
I'm sorry, Ouiser.
This whole thing has gotten out of hand.

657
00:29:53,667 --> 00:29:58,343
It's not your fault. I used to think
you were crazy for marrying that man.

658
00:29:58,422 --> 00:30:01,392
Then I thought you were
a glutton for punishment.

659
00:30:01,466 --> 00:30:05,312
Now I realize you must be
on some mission from God.

660
00:30:05,387 --> 00:30:08,857
Miss Ouiser, Daddy isn't
trying to drive you crazy.

661
00:30:08,932 --> 00:30:10,559
He's just trying
to make my reception nice.

662
00:30:10,642 --> 00:30:12,610
His heart's in the right place.

663
00:30:12,686 --> 00:30:15,360
Ouiser, I know for a fact

664
00:30:15,439 --> 00:30:16,986
there will be no more gunshots.

665
00:30:17,065 --> 00:30:19,033
He was going
to fire a gun at me.

666
00:30:19,109 --> 00:30:20,156
They're blanks.

667
00:30:20,235 --> 00:30:23,239
Drum would never point
a gun at a ady.

668
00:30:24,239 --> 00:30:25,616
He's a real gentleman.

669
00:30:25,699 --> 00:30:28,748
I bet he takes the dishes out of
the sink before he pees in it.

670
00:30:37,461 --> 00:30:39,338
Who the hell are you?

671
00:30:39,421 --> 00:30:42,721
Uh... Annelle.

672
00:30:42,799 --> 00:30:43,675
This is my new...

673
00:30:43,759 --> 00:30:44,681
Fine.

674
00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:47,013
Now I know everybody
in this town.

675
00:30:47,095 --> 00:30:50,019
And I don't recall
having seen you before.

676
00:30:50,098 --> 00:30:53,352
I just moved into town
not too long ago.

677
00:30:53,435 --> 00:30:55,529
With your family?

678
00:30:55,604 --> 00:30:57,698
I don't have any family
to speak of.

679
00:30:57,773 --> 00:30:59,116
Your husband?

680
00:31:01,318 --> 00:31:03,366
My husband?

681
00:31:03,445 --> 00:31:05,038
Yes.

682
00:31:05,113 --> 00:31:08,413
Well, that's
kind of hard to say.

683
00:31:08,492 --> 00:31:09,084
I, uh...

684
00:31:10,327 --> 00:31:11,624
I don't know.

685
00:31:11,703 --> 00:31:13,831
You don't know?

686
00:31:13,914 --> 00:31:15,291
Well, I'm not sure.

687
00:31:15,374 --> 00:31:16,751
You're not sure?

688
00:31:16,833 --> 00:31:19,712
I'm intrigued.
Are you married or not?

689
00:31:19,795 --> 00:31:22,093
These are not
difficult questions.

690
00:31:25,801 --> 00:31:28,645
Well... we're...

691
00:31:29,721 --> 00:31:31,598
I can't talk about it.

692
00:31:31,681 --> 00:31:33,149
Of course you can.

693
00:31:35,143 --> 00:31:38,488
Well, I'm not sure
if I'm married or not.

694
00:31:38,563 --> 00:31:39,780
He's gone.

695
00:31:39,856 --> 00:31:42,405
Men are the most
horrible creatures, honey.

696
00:31:42,484 --> 00:31:44,452
They will ruin your life,
mark my words.

697
00:31:44,528 --> 00:31:46,576
Everything is horrible.

698
00:31:46,655 --> 00:31:50,876
Bunky- that's my husband-
He just vanished last week.

699
00:31:50,951 --> 00:31:53,875
He took all the money,
my jewellery, the car.

700
00:31:53,954 --> 00:31:56,207
Most of my clothes
were in the trunk.

701
00:31:56,289 --> 00:31:58,166
He's in big trouble
with the law.

702
00:31:58,250 --> 00:31:59,376
Mm-hmm.

703
00:31:59,459 --> 00:32:00,927
Drugs or something.

704
00:32:01,002 --> 00:32:05,257
The police keep questioning me,
but I don't know anything.

705
00:32:05,340 --> 00:32:08,844
They say that our marriage
may not be legal.

706
00:32:08,927 --> 00:32:11,931
Well, I wish you'd
have said something.

707
00:32:12,013 --> 00:32:13,390
I was scared to.

708
00:32:13,473 --> 00:32:16,443
I need a job in the worst way.

709
00:32:16,518 --> 00:32:20,113
I didn't know if you would hire
someone who may or may not be married

710
00:32:20,188 --> 00:32:23,488
to someone who might be
a dangerous criminal.

711
00:32:23,567 --> 00:32:25,490
But, Miss Truvy, I swear to you,

712
00:32:25,569 --> 00:32:29,995
my personal tragedy will not interfere
with my ability to do good hair.

713
00:32:30,073 --> 00:32:32,201
Of course it won't.

714
00:32:33,535 --> 00:32:35,788
I really don't think things
could get any worse.

715
00:32:35,871 --> 00:32:37,464
Of course they can.

716
00:32:37,539 --> 00:32:39,507
We are awful.

717
00:32:39,583 --> 00:32:41,711
We are all hateful,
awful people.

718
00:32:41,793 --> 00:32:43,761
Here all we've
been talking about

719
00:32:43,837 --> 00:32:45,805
is weddings
and psychotic animals.

720
00:32:45,881 --> 00:32:48,430
What can we do to help?

721
00:32:48,508 --> 00:32:49,680
I know one thing.

722
00:32:49,759 --> 00:32:51,227
Drop by this afternoon.

723
00:32:51,303 --> 00:32:53,726
You're going to have some
bleeding armadillo groom's cake.

724
00:32:53,805 --> 00:32:55,057
[M'Lynn] Oh, yes, you must.

725
00:32:55,140 --> 00:32:59,065
Oh, no, I couldn't.
I still get real emotional sometimes.

726
00:32:59,144 --> 00:33:00,646
Not today you won't.

727
00:33:00,729 --> 00:33:02,481
It's going to be a great party.

728
00:33:02,564 --> 00:33:05,659
Well, I don't have anything to wear.

729
00:33:05,734 --> 00:33:08,328
I'll bet I have something
that will do.

730
00:33:08,403 --> 00:33:09,655
I'll call the house.

731
00:33:09,738 --> 00:33:11,581
Uh, thanks.

732
00:33:15,869 --> 00:33:17,917
All right.
Load me up.

733
00:33:21,416 --> 00:33:23,339
Ready? All right.

734
00:33:23,418 --> 00:33:25,261
We're ready.

735
00:33:25,337 --> 00:33:26,338
All right.

736
00:33:26,421 --> 00:33:27,843
Are you read)I?

737
00:33:27,923 --> 00:33:29,516
Stand back.
Here we go.

738
00:33:35,472 --> 00:33:37,190
Whoa!

739
00:33:37,265 --> 00:33:38,767
Aah! Aah!

740
00:33:38,850 --> 00:33:39,692
[ Woof Woof]

741
00:33:39,768 --> 00:33:41,770
What the hell is that?

742
00:33:48,193 --> 00:33:50,366
You got them real nice, Dad!

743
00:33:50,445 --> 00:33:51,822
You nailed them!

744
00:33:51,947 --> 00:33:52,869
Yeah!
Yeah!

745
00:33:55,659 --> 00:33:57,036
I hope no one was hurt.

746
00:33:57,118 --> 00:33:58,961
Shelby, get my things.

747
00:34:04,334 --> 00:34:05,256
Rhett!

748
00:34:07,003 --> 00:34:09,973
Miss Ouiser, that dog
will eat Daddy alive.

749
00:34:10,048 --> 00:34:11,971
Ohh, no!

750
00:34:12,050 --> 00:34:14,553
Ouiser, talk to him!
He'll listen to you!

751
00:34:14,636 --> 00:34:17,310
Please! It's my wedding day.
Say something!

752
00:34:17,389 --> 00:34:19,437
Kill, Rhett! Kill!

753
00:34:19,516 --> 00:34:21,564
Daddy, we're coming!

754
00:34:21,643 --> 00:34:24,146
Bite him in the balls!

755
00:34:28,858 --> 00:34:30,906
[Organ Plays “Because” ]

756
00:34:38,410 --> 00:34:44,167
♪ Because God made thee mine ♪

757
00:34:44,249 --> 00:34:49,005
♪ I'll cherish thee ♪

758
00:34:49,087 --> 00:34:52,057
♪ Through light and darkness ♪

759
00:34:52,132 --> 00:34:56,387
♪ Through all time we'll be ♪

760
00:34:56,469 --> 00:35:00,019
♪ And pray his love ♪

761
00:35:00,098 --> 00:35:01,771
♪ Will make our love divine, v.

762
00:35:01,850 --> 00:35:02,851
Sorry.

763
00:35:05,770 --> 00:35:11,322
♪ Because God ♪

764
00:35:11,401 --> 00:35:14,001
♪ Made thee mine 4;?

765
00:35:25,373 --> 00:35:26,716
I'm sorry.

766
00:35:26,791 --> 00:35:28,839
[Playing The “Wedding March”]

767
00:35:30,378 --> 00:35:32,051
Now.

768
00:35:33,381 --> 00:35:34,553
Shelby.

769
00:35:36,384 --> 00:35:37,931
Shelby, it's time.

770
00:35:38,011 --> 00:35:41,106
Daddy, it's time.

771
00:35:42,098 --> 00:35:44,396
Daddy, it's time.

772
00:35:44,476 --> 00:35:45,648
It's time.

773
00:35:45,727 --> 00:35:46,853
It's time!

774
00:36:18,968 --> 00:36:20,060
Grrr.

775
00:36:54,170 --> 00:36:57,140
Who gives this woman
in marriage?

776
00:36:58,717 --> 00:36:59,969
Her mother and I do!

777
00:37:00,051 --> 00:37:02,975
[Guests Laughing]

778
00:37:07,308 --> 00:37:09,777
Dearly beloved...

779
00:37:12,564 --> 00:37:16,614
♪ I know a barber shop
way across town ♪

780
00:37:16,693 --> 00:37:19,321
♪ Down on North Walker street ♪

781
00:37:19,404 --> 00:37:22,908
♪ It's the loneliest place
on a Saturday night ♪

782
00:37:22,991 --> 00:37:25,744
This has been the happiest
day of my life, Daddy.

783
00:37:25,827 --> 00:37:27,249
Oh, I'm glad, sugar.

784
00:37:27,328 --> 00:37:29,706
I'm not talking too loud, am I?

785
00:37:29,789 --> 00:37:31,507
No, you're fine.

786
00:37:31,583 --> 00:37:34,507
Shelby loves you very much.

787
00:37:35,587 --> 00:37:36,930
I hope so.

788
00:37:37,005 --> 00:37:40,760
It cost me 60 bucks
to rent this sucker.

789
00:37:40,842 --> 00:37:42,719
L-I'm being serious.

790
00:37:42,802 --> 00:37:44,304
So am I.

791
00:37:44,387 --> 00:37:46,890
I got the receipt right here.

792
00:37:48,016 --> 00:37:50,189
Could I say this, please?

793
00:37:53,021 --> 00:37:54,773
Shelby is so happy.

794
00:37:56,024 --> 00:37:57,901
I know when you're young

795
00:37:57,984 --> 00:38:00,863
it seems like everything
will always be perfect.

796
00:38:00,945 --> 00:38:02,663
Maybe it will be.

797
00:38:04,949 --> 00:38:07,247
Promise me
you'll think about it

798
00:38:07,327 --> 00:38:10,206
before you make any big decisions
about family.

799
00:38:10,288 --> 00:38:13,417
I know what you're saying.

800
00:38:13,500 --> 00:38:14,547
Good.

801
00:38:14,626 --> 00:38:18,972
♪ Never won't' come, come, come ♪

802
00:38:19,047 --> 00:38:22,472
♪ If you don't 7-11, dice ♪

803
00:38:22,550 --> 00:38:25,474
♪ I'm done, done, done ♪

804
00:38:25,553 --> 00:38:28,557
♪ Now if I see the police
before he sees me ♪

805
00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:31,894
♪ I'm gonna run, run, run ♪

806
00:38:31,976 --> 00:38:35,401
♪ Cause I'm the leader of society ♪

807
00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:38,825
♪ Since I got mine... ♪ ♪

808
00:38:47,325 --> 00:38:48,827
What can I get you?

809
00:38:48,910 --> 00:38:50,878
Nothing. No, thanks.

810
00:38:50,954 --> 00:38:53,457
You sure? It's free.

811
00:38:53,540 --> 00:38:54,666
Oh?

812
00:38:54,749 --> 00:38:56,751
Come on.
What will it be?

813
00:38:56,835 --> 00:38:59,304
A cherry Coke.

814
00:38:59,379 --> 00:39:00,380
Sure.

815
00:39:04,175 --> 00:39:07,054
So, are you a friend of
the bride or the groom?

816
00:39:09,264 --> 00:39:11,266
Neither.
Sh-Shelby invited me.

817
00:39:11,349 --> 00:39:13,351
I don't know why I'm here.

818
00:39:13,434 --> 00:39:15,061
I'm Sammy.

819
00:39:15,144 --> 00:39:19,741
And this here's the best cherry
Coke in the history of the world.

820
00:39:30,243 --> 00:39:32,086
Can I help you, sir?

821
00:39:38,835 --> 00:39:42,715
That Jackson,
he is one big hangin' man.

822
00:39:42,797 --> 00:39:44,219
Yes, I know.

823
00:39:44,299 --> 00:39:46,973
Nancy Beth, come along.

824
00:39:47,051 --> 00:39:50,100
Calories, calories.

825
00:39:50,179 --> 00:39:52,773
I don't like Belle Marmillion.

826
00:39:52,849 --> 00:39:56,479
I don't trust anybody that does their own hair.
I don't think it's normal.

827
00:39:56,561 --> 00:39:59,440
She's the best volunteer we have
at the mental guidance centre.

828
00:39:59,522 --> 00:40:01,399
She's so good
with troubled children.

829
00:40:01,482 --> 00:40:04,577
Wish I'd have taken Louie there
and got him straightened out.

830
00:40:04,652 --> 00:40:07,952
Even his imaginary playmates
wouldn't play with him.

831
00:40:08,031 --> 00:40:11,661
Oh, Truvy, your boy grew up fine.
He's just a little scary.

832
00:40:11,743 --> 00:40:16,795
I just think it'd be fun to have access
to all that secret personal information.

833
00:40:16,873 --> 00:40:18,625
Oh, come on, M'Lynn.

834
00:40:18,708 --> 00:40:21,086
Tell me some of your
most bizarre cases,

835
00:40:21,169 --> 00:40:23,092
and let me see if I can
figure out who they are.

836
00:40:23,171 --> 00:40:24,423
No.

837
00:40:24,505 --> 00:40:26,428
There's some pretty sick
tickets in this town.

838
00:40:26,507 --> 00:40:28,430
I will do no such thing.
Cut that out.

839
00:40:28,509 --> 00:40:29,476
You old fuddy-duddy.

840
00:40:29,552 --> 00:40:32,556
["Rock And Roll" Plays]

841
00:40:42,732 --> 00:40:44,905
I'm not speaking to you.

842
00:40:44,984 --> 00:40:47,282
Oh, what a shame.

843
00:40:47,362 --> 00:40:49,456
I mean it, Drum.

844
00:40:49,530 --> 00:40:52,784
Can we call a truce long enough
for me to get a piece of cake?

845
00:41:01,042 --> 00:41:03,090
Thanks, Ouiser.

846
00:41:03,169 --> 00:41:05,422
Nothing like
a good piece of ass.

847
00:41:08,007 --> 00:41:12,888
Clairee, you know I'd rather walk on
my lips than to criticize anybody.

848
00:41:12,971 --> 00:41:16,396
But... Janice van Meter

849
00:41:16,474 --> 00:41:17,691
I know.

850
00:41:17,767 --> 00:41:21,112
I bet money
she's paid $500 for that dress

851
00:41:21,187 --> 00:41:23,189
and don't even bother
to wear a girdle.

852
00:41:23,272 --> 00:41:26,993
Looks like two pigs
fighting under a blanket.

853
00:41:29,445 --> 00:41:34,292
I haven't left the house without Lycra
on these thighs since I was 14.

854
00:41:34,367 --> 00:41:36,040
You were brought up right.

855
00:41:36,119 --> 00:41:37,496
Congratulations, Drum.

856
00:41:37,578 --> 00:41:39,171
Big day, isn't it?

857
00:41:40,331 --> 00:41:41,583
Grrr.

858
00:41:41,666 --> 00:41:46,467
Ouiser? Ouiser, there's
someone I'd like you to meet.

859
00:41:46,546 --> 00:41:48,469
That looks like an autopsy.

860
00:41:48,548 --> 00:41:52,223
This is Jackson's
Aunt Fern Thornton.

861
00:41:52,301 --> 00:41:54,269
From Alexandria.

862
00:41:54,345 --> 00:41:56,268
She made the cake.

863
00:41:56,347 --> 00:41:57,769
You did this?

864
00:41:57,849 --> 00:41:59,817
Guilty.

865
00:41:59,892 --> 00:42:01,735
Well, it's very simple, really.

866
00:42:01,811 --> 00:42:03,529
It just takes patience.

867
00:42:03,604 --> 00:42:05,777
You only do armadillos?

868
00:42:05,857 --> 00:42:08,906
No. I can do anything-
except snakes.

869
00:42:08,985 --> 00:42:11,033
I don't have the counter space.

870
00:42:11,112 --> 00:42:13,160
♪ Son of a gun,
we're gonna have big fun ♪

871
00:42:13,239 --> 00:42:15,367
♪ On the bayou ♪

872
00:42:15,450 --> 00:42:17,202
♪ Whoa, jambalaya
and a crawfish pie ♪

873
00:42:17,285 --> 00:42:19,413
♪ And a fillet gumbo ♪

874
00:42:19,495 --> 00:42:23,216
♪ Cause tonight
I'm gonna see my cher a mio ♪

875
00:42:23,291 --> 00:42:25,293
♪ Pick guitar, fill fruit jar ♪

876
00:42:25,376 --> 00:42:26,878
<i>♪ And be gay-o ♪</i>

877
00:42:26,961 --> 00:42:28,884
♪ Son of a gun,
gonna have some fun ♪

878
00:42:28,963 --> 00:42:30,965
♪ On the bayou ♪

879
00:42:47,398 --> 00:42:49,400
♪ Thilbodaux, Fontaineaux ♪

880
00:42:49,484 --> 00:42:50,736
♪ This place is buzzin' ♪

881
00:42:50,818 --> 00:42:54,413
♪ Kinfolk come to see Yvonne
by the dozen ♪

882
00:42:54,489 --> 00:42:58,084
♪ Dress in style,
go hog wild, me oh my oh ♪

883
00:42:58,159 --> 00:42:59,957
♪ Son of a gun,
gonna have big fun ♪

884
00:43:00,036 --> 00:43:01,754
♪ On the bayou ♪

885
00:43:01,829 --> 00:43:03,752
♪ oh, jambalaya
and a crawfish pie ♪

886
00:43:03,831 --> 00:43:05,925
♪ And fillet gumbo ♪

887
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:09,254
J 'Cause tonight
I'm gonna see my cher a mio ♪

888
00:43:09,337 --> 00:43:11,135
♪ Pick guitar, fill fruit jar ♪

889
00:43:11,214 --> 00:43:13,057
<i>♪ And be gay-o ♪</i>

890
00:43:13,132 --> 00:43:14,258
♪ Son of a gun ♪

891
00:43:14,342 --> 00:43:16,811
♪ Gonna have big fun
on the bayou ♪

892
00:43:16,886 --> 00:43:18,513
♪ Jambalaya and a crawfish pie ♪

893
00:43:18,596 --> 00:43:20,394
♪ A fillet gumbo ♪

894
00:43:20,473 --> 00:43:24,444
J 'Cause tonight
I'm gonna see my cher a mio ♪

895
00:43:24,519 --> 00:43:25,896
♪ Pick guitar, fill fruit jar ♪

896
00:43:25,978 --> 00:43:27,696
<i>♪ And be gay-o ♪</i>

897
00:43:27,772 --> 00:43:28,694
♪ Son of a gun ♪

898
00:43:28,773 --> 00:43:31,868
♪ Gonna have big fun
on the bayou ♪ ♪

899
00:43:37,115 --> 00:43:40,460
Mama... help me.

900
00:43:52,380 --> 00:43:55,509
Well, this is it.
You're finally rid of me.

901
00:43:55,591 --> 00:44:00,222
Oh, I think you'll be back
every now and then.

902
00:44:01,806 --> 00:44:03,228
Corsages are pretty stupid

903
00:44:03,307 --> 00:44:05,810
when you think about
it, aren't they?

904
00:44:05,893 --> 00:44:09,614
You make Jackson Latcherie
take good care of you.

905
00:44:09,689 --> 00:44:12,659
Mama, Jackson
will take care of me.

906
00:44:12,733 --> 00:44:15,236
And I'll take care of him.

907
00:44:16,154 --> 00:44:18,407
And I'm not stupid.

908
00:44:19,991 --> 00:44:21,584
I'll get my bags.

909
00:44:23,870 --> 00:44:26,623
[Guests Cheering]
[Horn Honking]

910
00:44:26,706 --> 00:44:29,129
[Gunshots]

911
00:44:50,563 --> 00:44:54,113
Well, the boys just
brought the car around.

912
00:44:54,192 --> 00:44:56,194
What did they do to it?

913
00:44:58,112 --> 00:45:00,114
Let me put it this way...

914
00:45:00,948 --> 00:45:05,124
if you and Jackson want to
practice safe sex, you're all set.

915
00:45:51,666 --> 00:45:53,464
Truvy, are you
leavin g so early?

916
00:45:53,542 --> 00:45:56,887
Yeah. But I'll have sweet dreams
with this under my pillow.

917
00:45:56,963 --> 00:45:58,840
I hope your husband
feels better.

918
00:45:58,923 --> 00:46:00,425
He's going to be fine.

919
00:46:00,508 --> 00:46:02,226
Say hello to Spud.
I'll do it.

920
00:46:02,301 --> 00:46:04,429
I'm sure he's sorry
he missed all this.

921
00:46:04,553 --> 00:46:07,227
Such a beautiful wedding.
Thanks, Truvy.

922
00:46:07,974 --> 00:46:09,442
You're leaving so soon?

923
00:46:32,206 --> 00:46:33,799
Hi.

924
00:46:33,874 --> 00:46:35,217
Hello.

925
00:46:37,878 --> 00:46:40,722
Would you like a ride?

926
00:46:44,593 --> 00:46:47,016
I have new shoes.

927
00:46:47,096 --> 00:46:49,098
Have to break them in.

928
00:46:53,477 --> 00:46:56,651
Well, good night.
It was a lovely day.

929
00:46:56,731 --> 00:46:57,983
Stop it.

930
00:46:58,065 --> 00:47:00,818
Walk me home, Clairee.

931
00:47:00,901 --> 00:47:02,949
You just live over there.

932
00:47:03,029 --> 00:47:05,748
I don't want to walk
in that house by myself.

933
00:47:05,823 --> 00:47:07,245
You watch the news.

934
00:47:07,325 --> 00:47:09,999
You know what kind
of world we're living in.

935
00:47:10,077 --> 00:47:11,169
Walk me home.

936
00:47:11,245 --> 00:47:12,838
Who's going to walk me home?

937
00:47:12,913 --> 00:47:14,631
You've got the flash-light.

938
00:47:14,707 --> 00:47:16,209
My car's parked over there.

939
00:47:16,292 --> 00:47:17,714
This is ridiculous.

940
00:47:17,793 --> 00:47:19,841
You're only a few feet away.

941
00:47:19,920 --> 00:47:21,888
Will you follow me?
Follow me.

942
00:47:21,964 --> 00:47:23,432
You're acting like a child.

943
00:47:23,507 --> 00:47:26,135
The older you get
the sillier you get.

944
00:47:26,218 --> 00:47:28,346
The older you get
the uglier you get.

945
00:47:49,450 --> 00:47:50,997
And last, but never least,

946
00:47:51,077 --> 00:47:54,047
Santa's most beautiful helper,

947
00:47:54,121 --> 00:47:56,044
this year's
Miss Merry Christmas

948
00:47:56,123 --> 00:47:58,717
Nancy Beth Marmillion!

949
00:48:05,841 --> 00:48:08,435
Get it while the getting's good!

950
00:48:08,511 --> 00:48:09,979
Best food in Louisiana!

951
00:48:10,054 --> 00:48:13,558
Blood, sweat, and tears
go in every little bowlful.

952
00:48:13,641 --> 00:48:14,642
Right, boys?

953
00:48:14,725 --> 00:48:16,477
That's right, Truvy.

954
00:48:17,812 --> 00:48:19,735
1, 2, 3, 4...

955
00:48:19,814 --> 00:48:21,282
Shelby!

956
00:48:21,357 --> 00:48:23,826
Well, get your little
country butt over here.

957
00:48:23,901 --> 00:48:28,281
Were you trying to sneak by us without
buying some of our jumbo shrimp?

958
00:48:28,364 --> 00:48:30,412
They're hot and spicy,
just like Annelle.

959
00:48:30,491 --> 00:48:32,164
Truvy, stop.

960
00:48:32,243 --> 00:48:33,586
You should try one.

961
00:48:33,661 --> 00:48:35,504
We've already
pulled their heads off.

962
00:48:35,579 --> 00:48:38,002
No, I'm just killing time.

963
00:48:38,082 --> 00:48:40,756
Jackson's found a firearm.
We may never see him again.

964
00:48:40,835 --> 00:48:43,714
How about a glass of iced tea?
It's the house wine of the South.

965
00:48:43,796 --> 00:48:44,888
Perfect.

966
00:48:44,964 --> 00:48:46,432
Oh, coming up.

967
00:48:46,507 --> 00:48:47,929
Bet your mama's happy

968
00:48:48,008 --> 00:48:50,602
you got home in time
for the festival.

969
00:48:50,678 --> 00:48:52,851
I wouldn't miss the festival.
How's your family?

970
00:48:52,930 --> 00:48:56,025
Oh, fine.
Spud's as outgoing as ever.

971
00:48:56,100 --> 00:48:58,148
Louie brought
his girlfriend home,

972
00:48:58,227 --> 00:49:01,071
and the nicest thing
I can say about her

973
00:49:01,147 --> 00:49:02,990
is all her tattoos
are spelled correctly.

974
00:49:03,065 --> 00:49:04,442
Oh, Truvy.

975
00:49:04,525 --> 00:49:06,323
Get your money away.

976
00:49:06,402 --> 00:49:07,619
Thanks.

977
00:49:07,695 --> 00:49:10,915
Well, my hair's not the only
thing that's changed.

978
00:49:10,990 --> 00:49:12,458
So much has happened.

979
00:49:12,533 --> 00:49:15,503
After they finally put
Bunky Dupuy behind bars

980
00:49:15,578 --> 00:49:17,501
and I was rid of him

981
00:49:17,580 --> 00:49:19,173
I went wild.

982
00:49:19,248 --> 00:49:21,501
I was running around
drinking, smoking.

983
00:49:21,584 --> 00:49:23,461
Jezebel.

984
00:49:23,544 --> 00:49:26,343
Truvy helped me see
the error of my ways.

985
00:49:26,422 --> 00:49:28,891
She gave me a place to live.

986
00:49:28,966 --> 00:49:30,434
Now I go to church.

987
00:49:30,509 --> 00:49:33,479
I've done guest lectures on beauty
at the trade school.

988
00:49:33,554 --> 00:49:36,478
Annelle's become
one of the hottest tickets in town.

989
00:49:36,557 --> 00:49:38,605
Oh, Truvy, hush.
It's true.

990
00:49:38,684 --> 00:49:40,436
Well, I am
enjoying the city more,

991
00:49:40,519 --> 00:49:43,193
and I'm so excited about
this Christmas festival.

992
00:49:43,272 --> 00:49:46,242
There's a Messiah
sing-along tomorrow. Oh, no!

993
00:49:46,317 --> 00:49:47,819
What's the matter?

994
00:49:47,902 --> 00:49:51,497
Oh, nobody move!
My contact! Oh, no!

995
00:49:51,572 --> 00:49:52,698
Stay back!

996
00:49:52,781 --> 00:49:55,534
Wait, don't move!
Can you back up, please?

997
00:49:55,618 --> 00:49:58,462
Hello, darlings.
When did you get into town?

998
00:49:58,537 --> 00:50:01,507
This afternoon.
Here, merry Christmas.

999
00:50:01,582 --> 00:50:02,629
Thank you.

1000
00:50:02,708 --> 00:50:06,338
I've been trying to show Jackson everything.
He's never been to the festival.

1001
00:50:06,420 --> 00:50:09,173
Listen to the football
game tonight.

1002
00:50:09,256 --> 00:50:10,849
Sure.
What are we listening for?

1003
00:50:10,925 --> 00:50:13,474
Me.
Didn't your mama tell you?

1004
00:50:13,552 --> 00:50:15,554
Mama never
tells anyone anything.

1005
00:50:15,638 --> 00:50:18,733
I'm the colour announcer
for the Devils. I'm fabulous.

1006
00:50:18,807 --> 00:50:21,185
I'm just too colourful
for words.

1007
00:50:21,268 --> 00:50:23,020
Nice of them to let you
talk on the radio.

1008
00:50:23,103 --> 00:50:27,028
Nice, nothing.
I own the radio station.

1009
00:50:27,107 --> 00:50:28,529
You bought it!

1010
00:50:28,609 --> 00:50:33,740
Yes. KPPD, the station of choice
in Chinquapin Parish.

1011
00:50:33,864 --> 00:50:36,663
Mrs. Belcher, we got to go!
The kick-off! Bye!

1012
00:50:37,660 --> 00:50:41,585
<i>[ Radio: Announcer] This has been an
extremely hard-fought football game,</i>

1013
00:50:41,664 --> 00:50:44,668
considering the fact
that the Dry Prong lines

1014
00:50:44,750 --> 00:50:47,879
don't seem to have the kind'
of depth that Chinquapin has.

1015
00:50:47,962 --> 00:50:51,262
[ TV Continues ]

1016
00:50:51,340 --> 00:50:53,263
Well?

1017
00:50:54,552 --> 00:50:56,225
Nope.

1018
00:50:56,303 --> 00:50:58,305
Rolly Bassett got the contract.

1019
00:50:59,139 --> 00:51:01,062
His bid was 6,000 under mine.

1020
00:51:01,141 --> 00:51:02,768
6,000.

1021
00:51:04,478 --> 00:51:07,402
Well, he owns all his own equipment,
and I don't.

1022
00:51:10,150 --> 00:51:13,154
It's hell to be poor and hired out.

1023
00:51:14,446 --> 00:51:17,370
Well, I have got some fried chicken here,
prepared by Christian women,

1024
00:51:18,993 --> 00:51:20,415
a bottle of cheap wine,

1025
00:51:20,494 --> 00:51:23,998
and I've arranged for some
pretty incredible fireworks.

1026
00:51:26,166 --> 00:51:27,418
Oh, come on, Spud.

1027
00:51:27,501 --> 00:51:29,424
I don't want to miss

1028
00:51:29,503 --> 00:51:32,507
the nativity made
entirely out of sparklers.

1029
00:51:32,590 --> 00:51:35,093
I don't feel much like it.

1030
00:51:35,175 --> 00:51:38,179
Well, you will
once we get there.

1031
00:51:39,305 --> 00:51:41,353
I'm happy where I am.

1032
00:51:42,516 --> 00:51:43,733
Spud.

1033
00:51:45,519 --> 00:51:47,942
We always watch the fireworks.

1034
00:51:48,022 --> 00:51:50,696
Whoa. Thst's the ball game.
Final score...

1035
00:51:50,774 --> 00:51:53,778
This is KPPD Radio,

1036
00:51:53,861 --> 00:51:56,239
station of choice
in Chinquapin Parish,

1037
00:51:56,322 --> 00:52:00,202
coming to you live
from the Devils' locker room.

1038
00:52:00,284 --> 00:52:05,085
This is Bark Boone with colour
announcer Clairee Belcher.

1039
00:52:05,164 --> 00:52:06,541
Thank you, Bark.

1040
00:52:06,624 --> 00:52:10,128
You know, Bark, it's a shame
our listeners can't be here

1041
00:52:10,210 --> 00:52:14,260
to see the gorgeous
new Devil uniforms.

1042
00:52:14,340 --> 00:52:16,809
Uh... they're lovely.

1043
00:52:16,884 --> 00:52:18,636
I would never have chosen
those white pants.

1044
00:52:18,719 --> 00:52:21,438
They're filthy.
I would have gone with a darker colour.

1045
00:52:21,513 --> 00:52:24,357
White shows everything.
Just look at those grass stains.

1046
00:52:24,433 --> 00:52:26,060
Impossible to get out.

1047
00:52:26,143 --> 00:52:28,487
It's hard to keep white
clean when you're tackled.

1048
00:52:28,562 --> 00:52:32,112
But I love the tops,
such a vibrant purple.

1049
00:52:32,191 --> 00:52:35,320
Would you call this colour
grape or aubergine?

1050
00:52:35,402 --> 00:52:36,824
Shut up.

1051
00:52:36,904 --> 00:52:37,996
What?

1052
00:52:38,072 --> 00:52:40,700
You're making a fool
out of yourself, Clairee.

1053
00:52:40,783 --> 00:52:41,909
I am not.

1054
00:52:41,992 --> 00:52:43,539
This is football.

1055
00:52:43,619 --> 00:52:46,714
All the people want to hear about
is touchdowns and injuries.

1056
00:52:46,789 --> 00:52:49,759
They don't give a damn
about that grape shit.

1057
00:52:49,833 --> 00:52:53,633
We have this new psychiatrist
that comes in two days a week.

1058
00:52:53,712 --> 00:52:57,182
Of course, I pick her name
out of the grab bag.

1059
00:52:57,257 --> 00:53:01,103
I got to get her something.
Put that on the list.

1060
00:53:01,178 --> 00:53:04,102
I have no idea
what to get your father.

1061
00:53:04,181 --> 00:53:07,776
What's Jackson giving you?
Do you know?

1062
00:53:07,851 --> 00:53:09,603
Furniture.

1063
00:53:10,854 --> 00:53:12,697
Furniture? Well, my.

1064
00:53:12,773 --> 00:53:16,869
Must be nice to be married
to a rich lawyer.

1065
00:53:16,944 --> 00:53:18,946
What's it for, the living room?

1066
00:53:19,780 --> 00:53:21,782
No. For the nursery.

1067
00:53:25,327 --> 00:53:27,750
We wanted to tell you

1068
00:53:27,830 --> 00:53:30,049
when you and Daddy were together,
but you're never together,

1069
00:53:30,124 --> 00:53:33,094
so... it's every man
for himself.

1070
00:53:35,003 --> 00:53:36,471
I'm pregnant.

1071
00:53:39,842 --> 00:53:40,968
I realize that.

1072
00:53:44,471 --> 00:53:46,223
Well, is that it?

1073
00:53:46,306 --> 00:53:48,980
Is that all you're going to say?

1074
00:53:50,352 --> 00:53:52,446
What do you want me to say?

1075
00:53:53,605 --> 00:53:56,154
Well, something along the lines
of“congratulations.”.

1076
00:53:58,902 --> 00:54:00,495
Congratulations.

1077
00:54:12,708 --> 00:54:14,961
Would it be too much to ask...

1078
00:54:16,587 --> 00:54:18,681
for a little excitement?

1079
00:54:18,756 --> 00:54:21,976
Not too much. I wouldn't want you
to break a sweat or anything.

1080
00:54:27,431 --> 00:54:29,024
It's in July.

1081
00:54:33,187 --> 00:54:34,689
Oh, Mama.

1082
00:54:35,814 --> 00:54:37,691
You have to help me plan.

1083
00:54:39,902 --> 00:54:41,745
We're going to get a new house.

1084
00:54:41,820 --> 00:54:44,790
Jackson and I are going
house hunting next week.

1085
00:54:44,865 --> 00:54:46,959
Jackson loves to hunt
for anything.

1086
00:54:47,034 --> 00:54:49,287
What does Jackson say
about all this?

1087
00:54:49,369 --> 00:54:50,996
He's so excited.

1088
00:54:52,206 --> 00:54:54,425
He says he doesn't care
whether it's a boy or a girl,

1089
00:54:54,500 --> 00:54:58,505
but I know he really wants a son
so bad he can taste it.

1090
00:55:00,047 --> 00:55:04,348
He's really cute about the whole thing.
It's all he talks about- Jackson Latcherie, jr.

1091
00:55:04,426 --> 00:55:05,803
Does he ever listen?

1092
00:55:05,886 --> 00:55:09,186
I mean, when doctors and
specialists give you advice,

1093
00:55:09,264 --> 00:55:10,686
does he listen?

1094
00:55:10,766 --> 00:55:12,734
I know you never do.
Does he?

1095
00:55:15,354 --> 00:55:16,731
Huh?

1096
00:55:17,815 --> 00:55:19,067
What?

1097
00:55:20,567 --> 00:55:23,662
Well, I guess since
he doesn't have to carry the baby,

1098
00:55:23,737 --> 00:55:25,990
it really isn't any of his concern.

1099
00:55:26,073 --> 00:55:27,450
Mama.

1100
00:55:28,992 --> 00:55:31,495
I want a child.

1101
00:55:31,578 --> 00:55:34,798
What about adoption?
You filled out all the applications.

1102
00:55:34,873 --> 00:55:37,467
Mama, no judge
is going to give a baby

1103
00:55:37,543 --> 00:55:40,422
to someone
with my medical record.

1104
00:55:41,797 --> 00:55:44,471
Jackson even put out feelers
about buying one.

1105
00:55:44,550 --> 00:55:46,393
People do it all the time.

1106
00:55:48,971 --> 00:55:50,769
Listen to me.

1107
00:55:52,683 --> 00:55:54,777
I want a child of my own.

1108
00:55:59,189 --> 00:56:02,193
I think it would help things a lot.

1109
00:56:11,368 --> 00:56:13,041
I see.

1110
00:56:25,799 --> 00:56:28,097
Mama, you worry too much.

1111
00:56:29,428 --> 00:56:33,683
In fact, I never worry, 'cause I always
know you're worrying enough for both of us

1112
00:56:39,855 --> 00:56:42,233
Jackson and I have given this
a lot of thought.

1113
00:56:42,316 --> 00:56:44,660
Has he really?
There's a first time for everything.

1114
00:56:44,735 --> 00:56:46,612
Don't start on Jackson Mama.

1115
00:56:46,695 --> 00:56:49,198
Your poor body has
been through so much.

1116
00:56:49,281 --> 00:56:51,158
Why deliberately
do this to yourself?

1117
00:56:51,241 --> 00:56:53,710
Diabetics have healthy
babies all the time.

1118
00:56:53,785 --> 00:56:55,162
You are special, Shelby.

1119
00:56:55,245 --> 00:56:58,294
There are limits
to what you can do.

1120
00:57:05,756 --> 00:57:07,349
I'm going to be...

1121
00:57:08,342 --> 00:57:10,185
very, very careful.

1122
00:57:11,303 --> 00:57:13,021
Nobody's going to be hurt

1123
00:57:13,096 --> 00:57:16,100
or disappointed
or even inconvenienced.

1124
00:57:16,892 --> 00:57:19,361
Least of all Jackson, I'm sure.

1125
00:57:23,523 --> 00:57:24,775
You're jealous

1126
00:57:25,901 --> 00:57:28,620
because you no longer
have a say-so in what I do,

1127
00:57:28,695 --> 00:57:30,948
and that drives you up the wall.

1128
00:57:31,949 --> 00:57:36,455
You're ready to spit nails
because you can't call the shots.

1129
00:57:36,536 --> 00:57:41,042
I did not raise my daughter
to talk to me like this.

1130
00:57:43,043 --> 00:57:45,796
Yes, you did.
Oh, no, I didn't.

1131
00:57:45,879 --> 00:57:50,134
Whenever any of us asked you what you wanted
for us when we grew up, what did you say?

1132
00:57:50,217 --> 00:57:52,640
I'm not in the mood
to play games.

1133
00:57:52,719 --> 00:57:53,971
Just tell me what you said.

1134
00:57:54,054 --> 00:57:57,729
The only thing I have ever said to you
is that I want you to be happy.

1135
00:57:57,808 --> 00:58:01,153
Okay. The one thing that
would make me happy

1136
00:58:01,228 --> 00:58:03,822
is to have a baby.

1137
00:58:03,897 --> 00:58:07,868
If I could adopt one,
I would, but I can't.

1138
00:58:09,194 --> 00:58:11,117
I'm going to have a baby,

1139
00:58:11,196 --> 00:58:14,166
and I wish you'd be happy, too.

1140
00:58:14,241 --> 00:58:17,211
I'll tell you what I wish.

1141
00:58:18,870 --> 00:58:21,248
I don't know what I wish.

1142
00:58:24,084 --> 00:58:27,429
Mama, I don't know why you have to
make everything so difficult.

1143
00:58:29,673 --> 00:58:33,598
I look at having this baby
as the opportunity of a lifetime.

1144
00:58:33,677 --> 00:58:36,100
Sure, there may be risk involved,

1145
00:58:36,179 --> 00:58:39,103
but that's true for anybody.

1146
00:58:39,182 --> 00:58:42,277
But you get through it,
and life goes on.

1147
00:58:42,352 --> 00:58:45,231
When it's all said and done, there'll
be a little piece of immortality

1148
00:58:45,313 --> 00:58:49,159
with Jackson's good looks
and my sense of style, I hope.

1149
00:58:49,234 --> 00:58:51,202
Please.

1150
00:58:51,278 --> 00:58:52,825
Please.

1151
00:58:54,322 --> 00:58:56,324
I need your support.

1152
00:58:58,452 --> 00:59:01,797
I would rather have
30 minutes of wonderful

1153
00:59:01,872 --> 00:59:04,546
than a lifetime
of nothing special.

1154
00:59:21,141 --> 00:59:23,940
Okay. All right.
I'm going to hand it to you.

1155
00:59:24,019 --> 00:59:25,737
I don't want to hit you
upside the head.

1156
00:59:25,854 --> 00:59:28,824
I got one hole left.
Right.

1157
00:59:28,899 --> 00:59:30,822
Put the cords behind the pole.

1158
00:59:30,901 --> 00:59:32,448
If they show, it'll look tacky.

1159
00:59:32,527 --> 00:59:34,495
You told me about 40 times.

1160
00:59:37,699 --> 00:59:39,622
Annelle, did you do all this?

1161
00:59:39,701 --> 00:59:41,374
Guilty.

1162
00:59:41,453 --> 00:59:45,083
Truvy just turned over the
decoration responsibility to me.

1163
00:59:45,165 --> 00:59:47,293
Look.
I went to the fire sale

1164
00:59:47,375 --> 00:59:49,673
at the Baptist book store
in Shreveport last week.

1165
00:59:49,753 --> 00:59:53,098
They had mismatched manger scenes
at incredibly low prices.

1166
00:59:53,173 --> 00:59:55,096
I cleaned them out
of baby jesuses,

1167
00:59:55,175 --> 00:59:57,348
which I made into ornaments.

1168
00:59:57,427 --> 00:59:58,428
She's ready to roll.

1169
00:59:58,512 --> 01:00:00,310
Would you do the honers?

1170
01:00:02,891 --> 01:00:05,770
Yeah. Here you are,
Mrs. Latcherie.

1171
01:00:05,852 --> 01:00:06,978
Thanks, Sammy.

1172
01:00:07,771 --> 01:00:09,773
Ready?

1173
01:00:09,856 --> 01:00:11,608
♪ Down in Louisiana ♪

1174
01:00:11,691 --> 01:00:13,659
♪ We have a Cajun Christmas... ♪ ♪

1175
01:00:13,735 --> 01:00:16,284
Annelle, it's wonderful.

1176
01:00:16,363 --> 01:00:17,706
It works!

1177
01:00:17,781 --> 01:00:20,125
How cute.

1178
01:00:20,200 --> 01:00:23,670
I think your elves
have gone berserk.

1179
01:00:23,745 --> 01:00:24,667
Well, Shelby,

1180
01:00:24,746 --> 01:00:26,714
I wasn't expecting to see you.

1181
01:00:26,790 --> 01:00:28,667
What can I do for you?

1182
01:00:28,750 --> 01:00:31,219
I'm running a special
called a Christmas quickie.

1183
01:00:31,294 --> 01:00:32,671
I'm beyond help.

1184
01:00:32,754 --> 01:00:36,304
Last week I discovered
the early stages of crow's feet.

1185
01:00:36,383 --> 01:00:37,976
Honey, time marches on.

1186
01:00:38,051 --> 01:00:40,679
Eventually you realize it's
marching across your face.

1187
01:00:40,762 --> 01:00:41,729
Oh, no.

1188
01:00:41,805 --> 01:00:43,398
It's Miss Ouiser.

1189
01:00:46,810 --> 01:00:50,405
I'm supposed to give her
a pedicure today.

1190
01:00:50,480 --> 01:00:52,357
I hate working on her feet.

1191
01:00:52,440 --> 01:00:54,238
It could have been worse.

1192
01:00:54,317 --> 01:00:56,820
She could have wanted
a bikini waxing.

1193
01:00:56,903 --> 01:00:58,576
Let's not get graphic.

1194
01:00:58,655 --> 01:00:59,656
Why not?

1195
01:00:59,739 --> 01:01:03,039
Miss Ouiser, I met
an old friend of yours.

1196
01:01:03,118 --> 01:01:04,085
Oh?

1197
01:01:04,161 --> 01:01:05,583
Owen Jenkins.

1198
01:01:05,662 --> 01:01:06,834
Oh.

1199
01:01:06,913 --> 01:01:10,383
Owen. Now, there's
a blast from the past.

1200
01:01:10,458 --> 01:01:11,334
Do you remember him?

1201
01:01:11,418 --> 01:01:12,886
He remembers you.

1202
01:01:12,961 --> 01:01:16,886
He had the longest nose
hair in the free world.

1203
01:01:16,965 --> 01:01:18,842
Now he hardly has
any hair anywhere.

1204
01:01:18,925 --> 01:01:21,895
Owen's been gone from Chinquapin
Parish since God was a boy.

1205
01:01:21,970 --> 01:01:23,347
I'd forgotten he'd existed.

1206
01:01:23,430 --> 01:01:26,229
He lives in Monroe and goes
to First Presbyterian.

1207
01:01:26,308 --> 01:01:29,528
He asked if I knew you.

1208
01:01:29,603 --> 01:01:31,571
He used to live
in Ohio somewhere.

1209
01:01:31,646 --> 01:01:35,025
His wife just died,
and he's moved back down here.

1210
01:01:36,735 --> 01:01:38,658
Does this story have a point?

1211
01:01:38,737 --> 01:01:41,832
No, not really.
He just remembers you fondly, I think.

1212
01:01:41,907 --> 01:01:43,875
I can't imagine why.

1213
01:01:43,950 --> 01:01:47,580
He was not a bad fellow, but
I managed to run him off

1214
01:01:47,662 --> 01:01:49,915
and marry the first
of two total deadbeats.

1215
01:01:49,998 --> 01:01:51,124
Maybe sometime I could arrange

1216
01:01:51,208 --> 01:01:53,506
for us all to get together.

1217
01:01:53,585 --> 01:01:54,507
Maybe not.

1218
01:01:54,586 --> 01:01:56,554
Why not?

1219
01:01:56,630 --> 01:01:58,724
Shelby, I managed
in a few decades

1220
01:01:58,798 --> 01:02:01,267
to marry the two most
worthless men in the universe

1221
01:02:01,343 --> 01:02:05,974
and then proceeded to have the three
most ungrateful children ever conceived.

1222
01:02:06,056 --> 01:02:08,229
The only reason
people are nice to me

1223
01:02:08,308 --> 01:02:10,811
is because I have
more money than God.

1224
01:02:10,894 --> 01:02:13,613
I'm not about to open
a new can of worms.

1225
01:02:13,688 --> 01:02:14,814
Ouiser.

1226
01:02:14,898 --> 01:02:16,241
What?

1227
01:02:16,316 --> 01:02:19,286
If this is how you feel,
it isn't healthy.

1228
01:02:19,361 --> 01:02:21,910
Maybe you should come
to the guidance centre

1229
01:02:21,988 --> 01:02:23,831
and talk to someone.
We're there to help.

1230
01:02:23,907 --> 01:02:25,409
I'm not crazy, M'Lynn.

1231
01:02:25,492 --> 01:02:26,869
I've just been

1232
01:02:26,952 --> 01:02:30,126
in a very bad mood
for 40 years.

1233
01:02:30,205 --> 01:02:32,048
[Doorbell Rings]

1234
01:02:32,123 --> 01:02:35,502
Hi.

1235
01:02:35,585 --> 01:02:36,507
Merry Christmas.

1236
01:02:36,586 --> 01:02:38,008
Oh, look at you.

1237
01:02:38,088 --> 01:02:39,510
Is that new?

1238
01:02:39,589 --> 01:02:43,014
I made the dress
with my own two hands.

1239
01:02:43,093 --> 01:02:44,970
I just threw the rest together.

1240
01:02:45,053 --> 01:02:48,478
The only thing that separates
us from the animals

1241
01:02:48,556 --> 01:02:50,479
is our ability to accessorize.

1242
01:02:50,558 --> 01:02:51,525
Oh.

1243
01:02:51,601 --> 01:02:53,945
Annelle, why are you so late?

1244
01:02:54,020 --> 01:02:57,490
Did you and Sammy
get tangled up in the tinsel?

1245
01:02:57,565 --> 01:02:59,317
Truvy. You kill me.

1246
01:02:59,401 --> 01:03:00,402
Merry Christmas.

1247
01:03:00,485 --> 01:03:01,828
Oh! Thank you.

1248
01:03:01,903 --> 01:03:02,825
Merry Christmas.

1249
01:03:02,904 --> 01:03:03,871
Oh, darling.

1250
01:03:03,947 --> 01:03:06,291
I have to tell you
your nephew Marshall

1251
01:03:06,366 --> 01:03:08,789
is a little piece
of heaven on earth.

1252
01:03:08,868 --> 01:03:10,541
They're family,
and I love them,

1253
01:03:10,620 --> 01:03:13,544
but they do look carved
out of cream cheese.

1254
01:03:16,042 --> 01:03:17,965
Clairee, I'm surprised at you

1255
01:03:18,044 --> 01:03:20,467
talking about
your kin that way.

1256
01:03:20,547 --> 01:03:22,345
Well, as somebody always said,

1257
01:03:22,424 --> 01:03:24,722
if you can't say anything
nice about anybody,

1258
01:03:24,801 --> 01:03:26,269
come sit by me.

1259
01:03:26,344 --> 01:03:27,812
That's a good one.

1260
01:03:31,182 --> 01:03:32,149
Miss Ouiser.

1261
01:03:32,225 --> 01:03:33,101
What?

1262
01:03:33,184 --> 01:03:35,562
There's somebody that
wants to see you.

1263
01:03:35,645 --> 01:03:36,567
Who?

1264
01:03:36,646 --> 01:03:39,365
I've opened the can
of worms for you.

1265
01:03:39,441 --> 01:03:40,158
What?

1266
01:03:42,235 --> 01:03:42,952
Hell.

1267
01:03:43,028 --> 01:03:44,826
Owen Jenkins.

1268
01:03:44,904 --> 01:03:47,578
Hello, Louisa.
Remember me?

1269
01:03:47,657 --> 01:03:51,332
My God, you look different.
Have you shrunk?

1270
01:03:53,121 --> 01:03:54,998
You look terrific.

1271
01:03:55,081 --> 01:03:56,924
You've hardly changed at all.

1272
01:03:57,709 --> 01:03:59,837
I'm not as sweet
as I used to be.

1273
01:04:03,089 --> 01:04:10,849
♪ Jesus Lord, at thy birth... ♪ ♪

1274
01:04:10,930 --> 01:04:13,058
I cannot believe
Shelby did that.

1275
01:04:13,141 --> 01:04:14,358
Owen...

1276
01:04:14,434 --> 01:04:16,311
After all these years.

1277
01:04:16,394 --> 01:04:18,988
I'm not sure I can be
gracious under pressure.

1278
01:04:19,064 --> 01:04:22,443
Shelby does a lot of
things I can't believe.

1279
01:04:22,525 --> 01:04:24,527
M'Lynn, what's wrong
with you these days?

1280
01:04:24,611 --> 01:04:26,613
You got a reindeer
up your butt?

1281
01:04:26,696 --> 01:04:29,700
Everybody! Tommy,
get all these people outside.

1282
01:04:29,783 --> 01:04:31,706
Come on, everybody.

1283
01:04:31,785 --> 01:04:33,583
My dad's going
to say something.

1284
01:04:34,621 --> 01:04:38,046
I just want a moment
of your time, folks, now.

1285
01:04:40,043 --> 01:04:42,592
Today my daughter...

1286
01:04:42,670 --> 01:04:44,172
told me a big secret.

1287
01:04:44,255 --> 01:04:45,427
Daddy.

1288
01:04:45,507 --> 01:04:48,511
Don't worry. I'm not going to
tell them you're pregnant.

1289
01:04:48,593 --> 01:04:51,767
Oh!
Oh! Oh!

1290
01:04:51,846 --> 01:04:54,895
I'm just going to tell them
I'm going to be a granddaddy.

1291
01:04:54,974 --> 01:04:57,773
Oh. That's wonderful.

1292
01:05:04,567 --> 01:05:05,489
Oh, Grandma!

1293
01:05:05,568 --> 01:05:07,286
Congratulations.

1294
01:05:07,362 --> 01:05:09,581
Well, ain't you excited?

1295
01:05:09,656 --> 01:05:12,079
Smile. It increases
your face value.

1296
01:05:12,158 --> 01:05:15,082
And the doctor said Shelby
couldn't have children.

1297
01:05:15,161 --> 01:05:17,505
Yeah. What do they know?
She showed them.

1298
01:05:17,580 --> 01:05:20,379
They said she shouldn't'
have children.

1299
01:05:20,458 --> 01:05:21,675
There's a big difference.

1300
01:05:22,669 --> 01:05:26,515
This baby is not exactly great news.

1301
01:05:26,589 --> 01:05:27,340
Jackson and Shelby.

1302
01:05:27,424 --> 01:05:29,347
[Cheering]

1303
01:05:32,345 --> 01:05:35,019
Oh, M'Lynn, I really wish

1304
01:05:35,098 --> 01:05:38,853
I had some words of wisdom,
but I don't.

1305
01:05:38,935 --> 01:05:42,280
Why don't we focus on
the joy of the situation?

1306
01:05:42,355 --> 01:05:44,278
It'll be fine.

1307
01:05:44,357 --> 01:05:46,075
Absolutely.

1308
01:05:48,111 --> 01:05:49,954
You know what they say...

1309
01:05:50,029 --> 01:05:53,533
That which does not kill us
makes us stronger.

1310
01:06:01,374 --> 01:06:04,628
Nothing pleases Shelby more
than proving me wrong.

1311
01:06:13,303 --> 01:06:15,806
Oh, and to
my new grand-baby...

1312
01:06:15,889 --> 01:06:19,735
May he be as
good-looking as I am.

1313
01:06:27,400 --> 01:06:30,870
♪ Born on the third of July ♪

1314
01:06:30,945 --> 01:06:35,041
♪ He's a Yankee Doodle sweetheart ♪

1315
01:06:35,116 --> 01:06:38,211
♪ He's a Yankee Doodle boy ♪

1316
01:06:38,286 --> 01:06:40,505
♪ Yankee Doodle went to London ♪

1317
01:06:40,580 --> 01:06:41,627
♪ Just to ride the ponies ♪

1318
01:06:41,706 --> 01:06:44,550
♪ He is a Yankee Doodle boy ♪ ♪

1319
01:06:44,626 --> 01:06:45,468
Whoo!

1320
01:06:45,543 --> 01:06:48,513
Go ahead.
Blow it out, buddy.

1321
01:06:48,588 --> 01:06:50,841
This is boring as hell.

1322
01:06:50,924 --> 01:06:52,892
You only have your
first birthday once.

1323
01:06:52,967 --> 01:06:54,594
Little buddy's making a wish.

1324
01:06:54,677 --> 01:06:56,805
I wish he'd just
blow out the candle

1325
01:06:56,888 --> 01:06:58,515
I can't stand this.

1326
01:06:58,598 --> 01:07:00,600
Don't you dare.

1327
01:07:00,683 --> 01:07:02,230
Come on.
Look. Look.

1328
01:07:02,310 --> 01:07:03,687
Here we go.

1329
01:07:03,770 --> 01:07:05,272
1... 2... 3...

1330
01:07:07,440 --> 01:07:09,534
Yay.
Yay.

1331
01:07:09,609 --> 01:07:10,906
Happy birthday.

1332
01:07:12,862 --> 01:07:16,241
I'll be back from Truvy's
in about an hour.

1333
01:07:16,324 --> 01:07:17,701
Anything you want?

1334
01:07:17,784 --> 01:07:20,207
I think I'll come with you

1335
01:07:20,286 --> 01:07:22,709
I want to get my hair cut.

1336
01:07:22,789 --> 01:07:25,212
Short.
And I want Truvy to do it.

1337
01:07:25,291 --> 01:07:27,714
It's easier to take care of.

1338
01:07:27,794 --> 01:07:31,765
I'd love to be able to run my fingers
through it and go.

1339
01:07:31,839 --> 01:07:33,716
I think that would be precious.

1340
01:07:33,800 --> 01:07:38,226
I feel the need to make things
as simple as possible.

1341
01:07:38,304 --> 01:07:40,352
Let me go tell Jackson.

1342
01:07:49,440 --> 01:07:50,532
Shelby.

1343
01:07:50,608 --> 01:07:53,908
Shelby, I just can't
seem to find the wipes.

1344
01:07:53,987 --> 01:07:56,536
They're in my bag.
Is he wet?

1345
01:07:56,614 --> 01:07:57,581
He's muddy.

1346
01:07:57,657 --> 01:07:59,910
Miss Clairee,
finish about your nephew.

1347
01:07:59,993 --> 01:08:01,870
Get to the good stuff.

1348
01:08:01,953 --> 01:08:03,421
Well, I have to admit,

1349
01:08:03,496 --> 01:08:06,375
Marshall did go about it
the wrong way.

1350
01:08:06,457 --> 01:08:07,834
He marched in,

1351
01:08:07,917 --> 01:08:11,342
and without so much
as a hello, he said,

1352
01:08:11,421 --> 01:08:14,516
“Mama and Daddy,
I have something to tell you.

1353
01:08:14,591 --> 01:08:16,514
“L have a brain tumour.

1354
01:08:16,593 --> 01:08:18,516
I have three months to live.”.

1355
01:08:18,595 --> 01:08:21,439
Well, naturally,
Drew and Belle became hysterical.

1356
01:08:21,514 --> 01:08:24,518
Then he said,
“Hey, folks, I'm only kidding.

1357
01:08:24,601 --> 01:08:26,478
I'm just gay.

1358
01:08:26,561 --> 01:08:29,986
That was his idea of
breaking the news gently?

1359
01:08:30,064 --> 01:08:31,987
Marshall was always
very theatrical.

1360
01:08:32,066 --> 01:08:35,787
I wonder what Drew and Belle
must be feeling about this.

1361
01:08:35,862 --> 01:08:37,614
I don't know.

1362
01:08:37,697 --> 01:08:41,622
They have considered themselves
a model family for so long.

1363
01:08:41,701 --> 01:08:42,793
First Nancy Beth dethroned

1364
01:08:42,869 --> 01:08:45,122
from her
Miss Merry Christmas title

1365
01:08:45,204 --> 01:08:48,208
because of that
unfortunate motel thing.

1366
01:08:48,291 --> 01:08:51,465
What motel thing?
I don't live here any more. Remember?

1367
01:08:51,544 --> 01:08:54,798
Nancy Beth was discovered
in a local motel

1368
01:08:54,881 --> 01:08:56,883
with a high political official.

1369
01:08:56,966 --> 01:08:58,593
They were both high.

1370
01:08:58,676 --> 01:09:00,974
They'd been smoking
everything but their shoes.

1371
01:09:01,054 --> 01:09:03,807
She's the first Miss Merry
Christmas in history

1372
01:09:03,890 --> 01:09:06,985
to be caught with her tinsel
down around her knees.

1373
01:09:07,060 --> 01:09:11,861
Well, speaking of drawers,
hang on to yours.

1374
01:09:11,939 --> 01:09:12,815
Ta-da!

1375
01:09:25,328 --> 01:09:26,830
Oh, gosh.

1376
01:09:26,913 --> 01:09:29,007
Oh, you don't like it.

1377
01:09:29,082 --> 01:09:31,585
I did what you asked me,
didn't I?

1378
01:09:31,668 --> 01:09:33,591
Yes, Truvy,
you did a beautiful job.

1379
01:09:35,213 --> 01:09:36,931
Well, it's just that...

1380
01:09:38,383 --> 01:09:39,760
Oh, sweetheart, don't.

1381
01:09:39,842 --> 01:09:42,265
Please don't cry,
or I will, too.

1382
01:09:42,345 --> 01:09:44,222
I have a strict policy

1383
01:09:44,305 --> 01:09:46,683
that nobody cries alone
in my presence.

1384
01:09:46,766 --> 01:09:48,609
I love it.

1385
01:09:51,521 --> 01:09:52,522
Yeah.

1386
01:09:58,569 --> 01:09:59,866
Okay.

1387
01:10:01,572 --> 01:10:05,622
Well, now, Truvy,
let's do my nails.

1388
01:10:05,702 --> 01:10:07,124
This is a treat.

1389
01:10:07,203 --> 01:10:09,547
Nobody around here
ever wants a manicure.

1390
01:10:09,622 --> 01:10:13,547
I don't think I would even know what
to charge for a full day's beauty.

1391
01:10:13,626 --> 01:10:15,299
I'll need one, too.

1392
01:10:15,378 --> 01:10:17,301
I'm going to paint
my front door red

1393
01:10:17,380 --> 01:10:19,974
and change my name
to Elizabeth Arden.

1394
01:10:22,135 --> 01:10:23,307
Amen.

1395
01:10:24,470 --> 01:10:25,687
Amen.

1396
01:10:27,223 --> 01:10:29,396
Annelle, I'm going to
need more cuticle oil.

1397
01:10:29,475 --> 01:10:30,601
Is it still next...

1398
01:10:30,685 --> 01:10:31,902
Second shelf.

1399
01:10:33,396 --> 01:10:34,397
Was she praying?

1400
01:10:34,480 --> 01:10:35,777
Yes.

1401
01:10:35,857 --> 01:10:36,608
Why?

1402
01:10:36,691 --> 01:10:40,161
Got me. Maybe she was praying
for Marshall and Drew and Belle.

1403
01:10:40,236 --> 01:10:43,581
Maybe for us
'cause we were gossiping.

1404
01:10:43,656 --> 01:10:46,250
Maybe because the elastics
shot in her panty hose.

1405
01:10:46,325 --> 01:10:49,078
She's prays at the drop
of a hat these days.

1406
01:10:49,162 --> 01:10:50,584
How long has she been this way?

1407
01:10:50,663 --> 01:10:51,710
Since Mardi Gras.

1408
01:10:51,789 --> 01:10:55,714
She had her choice of
going to a Bible weekend

1409
01:10:55,793 --> 01:10:59,297
or to New Orleans with me
and two other sinners.

1410
01:10:59,380 --> 01:11:01,053
What does her boyfriend say?

1411
01:11:01,132 --> 01:11:02,850
Sammy's so confused,
he don't know whether

1412
01:11:02,925 --> 01:11:05,849
to scratch his watch
or wind his butt.

1413
01:11:05,928 --> 01:11:08,431
He says he could deal
with another man,

1414
01:11:08,514 --> 01:11:13,611
but he's having trouble with the Father,
the Son, and the Holy Ghost.

1415
01:11:13,686 --> 01:11:14,858
Ahem.

1416
01:11:14,937 --> 01:11:18,987
Oh, well, does Marshall
have, you know, friends?

1417
01:11:19,066 --> 01:11:21,114
Well, we discussed that.

1418
01:11:21,194 --> 01:11:24,118
I asked him how he...
met people.

1419
01:11:24,197 --> 01:11:26,120
In my day you could tell

1420
01:11:26,199 --> 01:11:28,122
by a man's carriage
and demeanour

1421
01:11:28,201 --> 01:11:30,624
which side his bread
was buttered on,

1422
01:11:30,703 --> 01:11:33,126
but in this day and age,
who knows?

1423
01:11:33,206 --> 01:11:36,130
I asked Marshall,
“How can you tell?”.

1424
01:11:36,209 --> 01:11:39,179
And he said,
“AII gay men have track lighting

1425
01:11:39,253 --> 01:11:40,630
“and all gay men

1426
01:11:40,713 --> 01:11:43,808
are named
Mark, Rick or Steve.”.

1427
01:11:43,883 --> 01:11:46,807
Be a soft-spoken dog.

1428
01:11:46,886 --> 01:11:48,138
Morning.

1429
01:11:48,221 --> 01:11:51,145
What's so funny in there?

1430
01:11:51,224 --> 01:11:54,194
Clairee's just been telling us
this true story of track lighting.

1431
01:11:54,268 --> 01:11:55,895
Oh, I love mine.

1432
01:11:57,396 --> 01:11:58,989
Highlights my new artwork.

1433
01:11:59,065 --> 01:12:02,160
Since when do you
have track lighting?

1434
01:12:02,235 --> 01:12:03,703
About three weeks.

1435
01:12:03,778 --> 01:12:07,248
It's in the foyer
up the staircase.

1436
01:12:07,323 --> 01:12:09,166
My grandson's idea.

1437
01:12:09,242 --> 01:12:10,744
I haven't seen him in ages.

1438
01:12:10,827 --> 01:12:12,500
How is he?

1439
01:12:12,578 --> 01:12:13,670
Steve's fine.

1440
01:12:16,582 --> 01:12:17,754
Shelby.

1441
01:12:17,834 --> 01:12:21,509
Oh, God.
Your hair is so short.

1442
01:12:21,587 --> 01:12:24,511
Why are you in such a good mood?

1443
01:12:24,590 --> 01:12:27,343
Did you run over
a small child or something?

1444
01:12:27,426 --> 01:12:28,518
Tomatoes.

1445
01:12:28,594 --> 01:12:30,392
Don't give all these to me.

1446
01:12:30,471 --> 01:12:32,189
Somebody's got to take them.

1447
01:12:32,265 --> 01:12:35,986
I try not to eat healthy food
if I can possibly help it.

1448
01:12:36,060 --> 01:12:38,609
The sooner my body gives out,
the better off I'll be.

1449
01:12:38,688 --> 01:12:42,033
I can't get enough grease
into my diet.

1450
01:12:42,108 --> 01:12:43,701
Why do you grow them?

1451
01:12:43,776 --> 01:12:45,619
Because I'm
an old Southern woman.

1452
01:12:45,695 --> 01:12:50,667
We're supposed to wear funny-looking hats and
ugly clothes and grow vegetables in the dirt.

1453
01:12:52,285 --> 01:12:54,208
Don't ask me those questions.

1454
01:12:54,287 --> 01:12:57,587
I don't know why.
I don't make the rules.

1455
01:12:59,834 --> 01:13:01,051
[Burp]

1456
01:13:01,127 --> 01:13:03,050
Oh, now, that's attractive,
Ouiser.

1457
01:13:06,716 --> 01:13:09,265
Hmm. Shelby.

1458
01:13:10,344 --> 01:13:12,893
Oh, honey, what have
you done to yourself?

1459
01:13:12,972 --> 01:13:14,724
It doesn't hurt.

1460
01:13:14,807 --> 01:13:17,185
M'Lynn, have you seen this?

1461
01:13:19,854 --> 01:13:21,197
Yes, I have.

1462
01:13:22,189 --> 01:13:25,238
The doctor's just trying
to strengthen my veins.

1463
01:13:25,318 --> 01:13:26,570
They're in terrible shape.

1464
01:13:26,652 --> 01:13:27,824
My God.

1465
01:13:27,904 --> 01:13:31,499
It looks like you've been
driving nails up your arms.

1466
01:13:31,574 --> 01:13:33,747
What is going on?

1467
01:13:33,826 --> 01:13:36,170
Shall we tell them, Mama?

1468
01:13:41,083 --> 01:13:44,087
Well, I guess we can't
keep it a secret any longer.

1469
01:13:45,296 --> 01:13:47,674
Shelby has been
driving nails up her arm.

1470
01:13:49,592 --> 01:13:51,435
It's my dialysis.

1471
01:13:51,510 --> 01:13:53,012
It's no big thing.

1472
01:13:55,514 --> 01:13:57,266
Don't look at me like that.

1473
01:13:57,350 --> 01:13:59,603
Having Jack, jr.
Put too much strain on my kidneys.

1474
01:13:59,685 --> 01:14:02,484
Now they're kaput, that's all.

1475
01:14:02,563 --> 01:14:04,657
The doctor said this
would probably happen.

1476
01:14:04,732 --> 01:14:06,234
That's all?

1477
01:14:06,317 --> 01:14:08,115
That's all, she says.

1478
01:14:08,194 --> 01:14:11,243
Do you do this dialysis forever?

1479
01:14:11,322 --> 01:14:13,541
Well, I could, I suppose,

1480
01:14:13,616 --> 01:14:16,244
but it's not real convenient when you're
trying to keep up with Jack, Jr.,

1481
01:14:16,327 --> 01:14:19,331
so I'll have a kidney transplant,
I'll be fine.

1482
01:14:19,413 --> 01:14:21,666
Is it that easy?
Sure.

1483
01:14:21,749 --> 01:14:25,128
They do three or four
a week in Shreveport.

1484
01:14:25,211 --> 01:14:29,136
They do. Our Sunday school class was
just praying for one the other day.

1485
01:14:29,215 --> 01:14:32,185
The hard part's finding
the kidney, isn't it?

1486
01:14:32,259 --> 01:14:35,684
I saw something about it on TV-
very dramatic.

1487
01:14:35,763 --> 01:14:38,687
These medical teams
ﬂy all over the place,

1488
01:14:38,766 --> 01:14:41,736
taking hearts, kidneys,
and who knows what else.

1489
01:14:41,811 --> 01:14:42,937
What impressed me most

1490
01:14:43,020 --> 01:14:46,490
was they carry those organs
in beer coolers.

1491
01:14:46,565 --> 01:14:48,363
Stop it.

1492
01:14:48,442 --> 01:14:49,819
Those doctors take out
their six-packs,

1493
01:14:49,902 --> 01:14:53,156
throw in dry ice and a heart,
and get on a plane.

1494
01:14:53,239 --> 01:14:55,708
How long do you have to
wait for one?

1495
01:14:55,783 --> 01:14:59,253
There are people on dialysis
that have been waiting for years.

1496
01:15:00,246 --> 01:15:01,998
That must be agony.

1497
01:15:02,081 --> 01:15:04,755
Well, I suppose, but I'm lucky.

1498
01:15:04,834 --> 01:15:06,711
I don't have to wait any more.

1499
01:15:08,254 --> 01:15:11,098
Mama's going to give me
one of her kidneys.

1500
01:15:13,426 --> 01:15:14,769
When?

1501
01:15:14,844 --> 01:15:16,972
We check in tomorrow morning.

1502
01:15:25,855 --> 01:15:29,359
So you better get going on my nails.

1503
01:15:29,442 --> 01:15:30,910
Annelle, I'm dripping.

1504
01:15:30,985 --> 01:15:32,077
Sorry.

1505
01:15:34,196 --> 01:15:36,164
I shouldn't have said that.

1506
01:15:36,240 --> 01:15:37,833
Said what?

1507
01:15:37,908 --> 01:15:39,285
Back at Truvy's.

1508
01:15:39,368 --> 01:15:43,794
When I said I'd be better off
when my body wears out.

1509
01:15:43,873 --> 01:15:47,298
I shouldn't have said that
in front of Shelby.

1510
01:15:47,376 --> 01:15:48,798
I didn't mean that.

1511
01:15:48,878 --> 01:15:52,178
Ouiser, nobody pays
any attention to you.

1512
01:15:52,256 --> 01:15:54,850
But I feel bad, Clairee.

1513
01:15:54,925 --> 01:15:57,053
I'm a terrible person.

1514
01:15:57,136 --> 01:15:59,138
No, you're not.

1515
01:15:59,221 --> 01:16:03,192
You'd give your dog a kidney
if he needed one.

1516
01:16:04,518 --> 01:16:05,644
Yes.

1517
01:16:13,569 --> 01:16:15,992
Clairee,
this is just a gesture.

1518
01:16:16,072 --> 01:16:19,542
We're not feeding Drum
till the end of time.

1519
01:16:19,617 --> 01:16:23,542
Drum loves pork and beans.
He eats them with everything.

1520
01:16:23,621 --> 01:16:25,339
That explains a lot.

1521
01:16:26,540 --> 01:16:30,340
You're supposed to
soak the red beans overnight.

1522
01:16:30,419 --> 01:16:32,968
But we don't have overnight.

1523
01:16:33,047 --> 01:16:36,392
I wanted to take it to them
before they leave for the hospital.

1524
01:16:36,467 --> 01:16:38,310
Let's cook something else.

1525
01:16:38,385 --> 01:16:39,978
I bought all the stuff.

1526
01:16:40,054 --> 01:16:42,523
It's in the “Freezes Beautifully”
section of my cookbook.

1527
01:16:42,598 --> 01:16:45,272
I want to take something
that freezes beautifully.

1528
01:16:45,351 --> 01:16:47,900
Then we'll make
red beans and rice.

1529
01:16:52,149 --> 01:16:55,198
Sammy Dwayne DeSoto,
what is this in my Frigidaire?

1530
01:16:57,196 --> 01:16:58,698
Beer.

1531
01:17:00,866 --> 01:17:02,960
I don't care what you do
in your refrigerator,

1532
01:17:03,035 --> 01:17:05,709
but you will not
keep liquor in mine.

1533
01:17:08,207 --> 01:17:11,882
Oh, Annelle, for Christ's sakes.

1534
01:17:11,961 --> 01:17:13,759
Who?

1535
01:17:13,838 --> 01:17:15,340
Christ.

1536
01:17:16,715 --> 01:17:18,092
Who did you say?

1537
01:17:18,175 --> 01:17:20,143
Christ, Christ, Christ.

1538
01:17:20,219 --> 01:17:22,267
Are you speaking of Our Lord?

1539
01:17:22,346 --> 01:17:24,269
Is that whose name
you're taking in vain?

1540
01:17:24,348 --> 01:17:26,146
That's the one.

1541
01:17:26,225 --> 01:17:28,603
Well, I am sorry, Sammy

1542
01:17:28,686 --> 01:17:31,280
but I'm not about spend
the next 50 years of my life

1543
01:17:31,355 --> 01:17:34,199
with someone who I'm not gonna
run into in the hereafter.

1544
01:17:34,275 --> 01:17:36,152
Annelle, god damn it!

1545
01:17:36,235 --> 01:17:38,738
I think we should pray.

1546
01:17:38,821 --> 01:17:40,869
Oh, I'd rather eat dirt.

1547
01:17:43,242 --> 01:17:45,870
Shelby says her half
of the operation's easy.

1548
01:17:45,953 --> 01:17:47,921
I guess M'Lynn's is terrible.

1549
01:17:47,997 --> 01:17:50,967
They basically have
to saw her in half

1550
01:17:51,041 --> 01:17:52,964
to get the kidney out.

1551
01:17:53,043 --> 01:17:56,968
Well, they always do it
on Circus of the Stars.

1552
01:17:57,047 --> 01:17:59,015
Don't joke about it, Spud

1553
01:17:59,091 --> 01:18:01,310
I feel awful for 'em.

1554
01:18:01,385 --> 01:18:02,978
Yeah, well.

1555
01:18:05,097 --> 01:18:07,566
I guess the Eatentons
are lucky.

1556
01:18:07,641 --> 01:18:11,566
They all know how much
they mean to each other.

1557
01:18:11,645 --> 01:18:13,022
Maybe I'm jealous.

1558
01:18:13,105 --> 01:18:16,029
Hand me that socket wrench,
would you?

1559
01:18:16,108 --> 01:18:18,076
Which one's a socket wrench?

1560
01:18:18,152 --> 01:18:20,905
The socket wrench,
the socket wrench.

1561
01:18:20,988 --> 01:18:22,080
This funny-looking thing?

1562
01:18:22,156 --> 01:18:23,157
Thank you.

1563
01:18:31,457 --> 01:18:32,879
That's not funny.

1564
01:18:32,958 --> 01:18:34,881
Okay, no more transplant jokes.

1565
01:18:34,960 --> 01:18:36,428
Daddy doesn't like them.

1566
01:18:36,503 --> 01:18:37,880
Whose turn is it?

1567
01:18:37,963 --> 01:18:39,215
Oh, Mama.

1568
01:18:39,298 --> 01:18:40,550
Oh, yes?

1569
01:18:40,633 --> 01:18:42,055
Give me all your...

1570
01:18:42,134 --> 01:18:43,932
internal organs.

1571
01:18:44,011 --> 01:18:46,184
Oh, I mean aces.

1572
01:18:46,263 --> 01:18:48,516
Gosh, Dad, I-I'm sorry.

1573
01:18:48,599 --> 01:18:49,521
Yeah.

1574
01:18:49,600 --> 01:18:51,022
It just slipped out.

1575
01:18:51,101 --> 01:18:52,068
Go fish.

1576
01:18:52,144 --> 01:18:54,943
I'm going to put
this little one to bed.

1577
01:18:55,022 --> 01:18:56,524
Mama, I'll do it.

1578
01:18:56,607 --> 01:18:58,075
No, no, no. Let me.

1579
01:18:58,150 --> 01:19:01,495
After tomorrow it'll be a long time
before I can pick him up again.

1580
01:19:01,570 --> 01:19:03,493
So much for the card game.

1581
01:19:03,572 --> 01:19:04,448
Movie!
Movie!

1582
01:19:04,531 --> 01:19:06,499
It's old, in black and white.

1583
01:19:06,575 --> 01:19:07,952
Nothing dirty there.

1584
01:19:08,035 --> 01:19:10,003
I got it, a classic...

1585
01:19:10,079 --> 01:19:12,081
A Tale of Two Kidneys.

1586
01:19:13,165 --> 01:19:14,087
That's funny.

1587
01:19:14,166 --> 01:19:15,418
You think that's funny?

1588
01:19:15,501 --> 01:19:16,423
Yes.

1589
01:19:16,502 --> 01:19:17,924
That's not funny.

1590
01:19:18,003 --> 01:19:19,004
Oh.

1591
01:19:20,172 --> 01:19:23,096
I overslept 'cause I was
up late cooking.

1592
01:19:23,175 --> 01:19:26,600
I've got to get these beans
to the Eatentons,

1593
01:19:26,679 --> 01:19:29,603
and it's my Sunday
to count the offering.

1594
01:19:29,682 --> 01:19:31,605
I just know I'm gonna miss church.

1595
01:19:31,684 --> 01:19:34,608
Cool down.
I'll have to turn the hose on you.

1596
01:19:34,687 --> 01:19:36,610
I don't know what I'm gonna do.

1597
01:19:36,689 --> 01:19:39,943
Well, I know what you're gonna do.
You are gonna get in this car.

1598
01:19:40,025 --> 01:19:44,155
We're going to drop those beans off
at the Eatenton house.

1599
01:19:44,238 --> 01:19:46,661
Then you are going
to church with me.

1600
01:19:46,740 --> 01:19:48,788
Oh, I don't know.

1601
01:19:48,867 --> 01:19:51,495
God don't care
which church you go to,

1602
01:19:51,578 --> 01:19:53,455
long as you show up.

1603
01:19:53,539 --> 01:19:57,294
♪ Abide with me ♪

1604
01:19:57,376 --> 01:20:04,976
♪ Fast falls the eventide ♪

1605
01:20:05,050 --> 01:20:11,274
♪ The darkness deepens ♪

1606
01:20:11,348 --> 01:20:16,696
♪ Lord, with me abide ♪

1607
01:20:16,770 --> 01:20:23,574
♪ When other helpers ♪

1608
01:20:23,652 --> 01:20:29,785
♪ Fail and comforts flee ♪

1609
01:20:29,867 --> 01:20:35,499
♪ Help of the helpless, Lord... ♪

1610
01:20:35,581 --> 01:20:38,004
Ouiser, what brings you here?

1611
01:20:38,083 --> 01:20:39,084
Shut up.

1612
01:20:39,168 --> 01:20:43,139
I was wondering how things
were with you and Owen.

1613
01:20:43,213 --> 01:20:47,218
I can report that
the Sherwood Florist delivery truck.

1614
01:20:47,301 --> 01:20:50,180
Stops by her house
twice a week.

1615
01:20:50,262 --> 01:20:52,685
He knows I like fresh flowers.

1616
01:20:52,765 --> 01:20:56,190
And I can report
that a strange car

1617
01:20:56,268 --> 01:20:59,192
is parked in her garage
once a week.

1618
01:20:59,271 --> 01:21:01,023
There.

1619
01:21:01,106 --> 01:21:02,779
My secret is out.

1620
01:21:02,858 --> 01:21:06,533
I am having an affair
with a Mercedes-Benz.

1621
01:21:06,612 --> 01:21:09,411
We are in
the house of the Lord.

1622
01:21:09,490 --> 01:21:11,538
Oh, a lot she cares.

1623
01:21:11,617 --> 01:21:14,871
Ouiser never done
a religious thing in her life.

1624
01:21:14,953 --> 01:21:17,422
Now, that is not true.

1625
01:21:17,498 --> 01:21:21,253
When I was in school,
my friends and I would dress up as nuns

1626
01:21:21,335 --> 01:21:23,929
and go bar-hopping.

1627
01:21:25,089 --> 01:21:29,390
Uh, Ouiser, forgive me, but I
just been dying to ask you this.

1628
01:21:29,468 --> 01:21:32,392
Have you and Owen,
you know, um...

1629
01:21:32,471 --> 01:21:36,396
Wait. I have to get
a mental picture of this.

1630
01:21:36,475 --> 01:21:39,820
A dirty mind is a
terrible thing to waste.

1631
01:21:39,895 --> 01:21:41,021
Well?

1632
01:21:41,105 --> 01:21:44,450
Not that this is any of
anyone else's business,

1633
01:21:44,525 --> 01:21:45,902
but no, we're friends.

1634
01:21:45,984 --> 01:21:48,908
He would like more,
and I'm dealing with that.

1635
01:21:48,987 --> 01:21:51,581
I'm old and set in my ways.

1636
01:21:51,657 --> 01:21:53,955
You are playing hard to get.

1637
01:21:54,034 --> 01:21:57,004
At her age, she should be
playing Beat the Clock.

1638
01:21:57,079 --> 01:21:59,548
Miss DeLore,
is 240 on Telemetry?

1639
01:21:59,623 --> 01:22:01,250
Yes, he is.

1640
01:22:01,333 --> 01:22:02,425
Thank you.

1641
01:22:04,837 --> 01:22:06,259
May I help you?

1642
01:22:06,338 --> 01:22:09,262
I need somebody
to fix my I.V., please.

1643
01:22:09,341 --> 01:22:11,764
Someone will be there
in a minute.

1644
01:22:11,844 --> 01:22:14,267
Wendy,
can you check 240's I.V.?

1645
01:22:14,346 --> 01:22:15,393
Sure.

1646
01:22:22,855 --> 01:22:27,110
[ Woman On P.A. ] Rodriguez, dial 7-4.
Dr. Rodriguez, dial 7-4,, please.

1647
01:22:55,345 --> 01:22:58,224
I really do. I think
that despite everything

1648
01:22:58,307 --> 01:23:00,730
we have a very good result.

1649
01:23:05,063 --> 01:23:06,360
Looks good.

1650
01:23:06,440 --> 01:23:09,034
Looks real, real good.

1651
01:23:11,904 --> 01:23:13,531
Thanks.

1652
01:23:16,909 --> 01:23:18,957
[Thunder]

1653
01:23:33,634 --> 01:23:36,604
Surprise!

1654
01:23:36,678 --> 01:23:39,181
Oh, Truvy,
I can't believe this!

1655
01:23:39,264 --> 01:23:42,188
I have always wanted to
give a wedding shower

1656
01:23:42,267 --> 01:23:43,689
with a monster motif.

1657
01:23:43,769 --> 01:23:47,194
That's what you get
for getting married on Halloween.

1658
01:23:47,272 --> 01:23:48,239
My heart!

1659
01:23:48,315 --> 01:23:50,033
Let's open the gifts.

1660
01:23:50,108 --> 01:23:52,076
You're welcome. Next.

1661
01:23:52,152 --> 01:23:54,371
'M'Lynn, appliqué.

1662
01:23:54,446 --> 01:23:57,040
With some little
fringe on them.

1663
01:23:57,115 --> 01:23:57,866
Fringe, yes.

1664
01:23:57,950 --> 01:23:59,543
Quiet down. Quiet down.

1665
01:23:59,618 --> 01:24:02,462
It says,
“Better late than never.”.

1666
01:24:02,538 --> 01:24:04,165
Whoo!

1667
01:24:04,248 --> 01:24:06,376
Look out, Sammy!

1668
01:24:06,458 --> 01:24:07,835
Who's that from?

1669
01:24:07,960 --> 01:24:10,383
It's not signed.
Let me see.

1670
01:24:11,964 --> 01:24:13,136
Ouiser.

1671
01:24:13,215 --> 01:24:14,717
What?

1672
01:24:14,800 --> 01:24:17,144
I'd recognize
this penmanship anywhere.

1673
01:24:17,219 --> 01:24:20,098
You have the handwriting
of a serial killer.

1674
01:24:20,180 --> 01:24:24,230
I thought Sammy wouldn't mind
you reading the Bible in bed,

1675
01:24:24,309 --> 01:24:27,153
as long as you were wearing
something inspirational.

1676
01:24:27,229 --> 01:24:28,071
Yuk, yuk, yuk.

1677
01:24:28,146 --> 01:24:30,194
Put down “split crotch.”.

1678
01:24:30,274 --> 01:24:31,742
This is from Shelby.

1679
01:24:31,817 --> 01:24:32,909
That's disgusting.

1680
01:24:32,985 --> 01:24:36,330
She's sorry she couldn't be here.
She's on duty.

1681
01:24:36,405 --> 01:24:37,327
How is she?

1682
01:24:37,406 --> 01:24:38,282
Fine.

1683
01:24:38,365 --> 01:24:41,335
I fed Baby Renz
but not Alex, okay?

1684
01:24:41,410 --> 01:24:42,377
Oh, okay.

1685
01:24:42,452 --> 01:24:43,874
Gotta get home now
for Halloween.

1686
01:24:43,954 --> 01:24:45,331
Have a good evening.

1687
01:24:45,414 --> 01:24:47,337
Shelby, this is too cute.

1688
01:24:47,416 --> 01:24:49,339
Where did you find this?

1689
01:24:49,418 --> 01:24:50,840
Aunt Fern made it.

1690
01:24:50,919 --> 01:24:53,342
I can't wait to get home
and try it on Jack.

1691
01:24:53,422 --> 01:24:56,016
I taught him to say
“trick or treat” or something...

1692
01:24:57,467 --> 01:24:59,344
something kind of like it.

1693
01:24:59,428 --> 01:25:02,398
Could you hand me that bag,
Pam?

1694
01:25:06,518 --> 01:25:07,940
Thanks.
Good night.

1695
01:25:08,020 --> 01:25:09,067
Good night.

1696
01:25:11,898 --> 01:25:13,024
Here you go.

1697
01:25:13,150 --> 01:25:16,996
Thank you. And if this don't work on my
husband maybe you can come back later.

1698
01:25:17,070 --> 01:25:18,572
See you.

1699
01:25:18,655 --> 01:25:21,283
Hmm. Looks like somebody's
husband's coming home tonight.

1700
01:25:21,366 --> 01:25:25,416
When you work a seven-day
stretch on an offshore oil rig

1701
01:25:25,495 --> 01:25:28,874
all you wanna do
on your day off is sleep

1702
01:25:28,957 --> 01:25:31,801
I'll do everything
I can to keep him up

1703
01:25:31,877 --> 01:25:34,300
Anne Boleyn had six fingers.

1704
01:25:34,379 --> 01:25:36,006
Who's Anne Berlin?

1705
01:25:36,089 --> 01:25:40,560
Anne Boleyn. She was one of
the six wives of Henry VIII.

1706
01:25:40,636 --> 01:25:43,480
Oh, well, I never
watch public television.

1707
01:25:43,555 --> 01:25:46,149
She had six fingers.

1708
01:25:46,224 --> 01:25:48,647
What happened
to the other four?

1709
01:25:48,727 --> 01:25:50,695
She had 11 total.

1710
01:25:50,771 --> 01:25:51,738
[Flush]

1711
01:25:51,813 --> 01:25:54,908
Are you trying to
confuse me, Clairee?

1712
01:25:54,983 --> 01:25:56,155
No.

1713
01:25:56,234 --> 01:25:59,329
I just want to expose us
to more culture.

1714
01:25:59,404 --> 01:26:04,251
That's not easy to come by
in this neck of the woods.

1715
01:26:04,326 --> 01:26:08,297
Ouiser, how about taking a
theatre trip to New York?

1716
01:26:08,372 --> 01:26:11,296
I don't want to expose
myself to anything.

1717
01:26:11,375 --> 01:26:13,252
You should broaden
your horizons.

1718
01:26:13,335 --> 01:26:15,758
You broaden
your horizons your way,

1719
01:26:15,837 --> 01:26:17,805
I'll broaden my horizons mine.

1720
01:26:17,881 --> 01:26:20,509
I'm going to support
the arts in this area.

1721
01:26:20,592 --> 01:26:24,017
[Ouiser] I'll write a check. I support art.
I just don't have to see it.

1722
01:26:24,096 --> 01:26:25,348
It wouldn't harelip you.

1723
01:26:25,430 --> 01:26:28,650
Clairee, can I get one thing
straight with you?

1724
01:26:28,725 --> 01:26:30,147
I do not see plays

1725
01:26:30,227 --> 01:26:32,980
because I can nap at home
for free.

1726
01:26:33,105 --> 01:26:37,702
I don't see movies because they're trash and
they got nothing but naked people in them.

1727
01:26:37,776 --> 01:26:41,531
I don't read books 'cause the good
ones are made into miniseries.

1728
01:26:41,613 --> 01:26:42,956
You know,

1729
01:26:43,031 --> 01:26:46,285
you would be a much more
contented, pleasant person

1730
01:26:46,368 --> 01:26:49,622
if you would find ways
to occupy your time.

1731
01:26:49,705 --> 01:26:51,048
I am pleasant!

1732
01:26:51,123 --> 01:26:54,878
I saw Drum Eatenton this morning
at the Piggly Wiggly

1733
01:26:54,960 --> 01:27:00,012
and I smiled at the son of a bitch
before I could help myself.

1734
01:27:01,174 --> 01:27:02,426
OW!

1735
01:27:02,509 --> 01:27:03,431
Shit.

1736
01:27:03,510 --> 01:27:05,057
Sony, Miss-
Sorry, Miss Ouiser.

1737
01:27:05,137 --> 01:27:09,438
Annelle, you take your Bible
and shove it where the sun doesn't shine.

1738
01:27:09,516 --> 01:27:12,065
[Laughing]

1739
01:27:12,144 --> 01:27:14,238
Put it in Mommy's pocket.

1740
01:27:14,312 --> 01:27:15,734
There we go.

1741
01:27:15,814 --> 01:27:17,236
We'll zip you up,

1742
01:27:17,315 --> 01:27:20,740
and we'll go trick-or-treating
right after dinner.

1743
01:27:20,819 --> 01:27:23,242
Let's go and make
some spaghetti.

1744
01:27:23,321 --> 01:27:24,243
Oh!

1745
01:27:24,322 --> 01:27:25,369
Jack.

1746
01:27:25,449 --> 01:27:27,326
[Panting]

1747
01:27:27,409 --> 01:27:28,626
Oh.

1748
01:27:28,702 --> 01:27:31,581
Okay.

1749
01:27:31,663 --> 01:27:32,915
[Babbling]

1750
01:27:32,998 --> 01:27:33,920
Yeah.

1751
01:27:33,999 --> 01:27:37,344
Yes.

1752
01:27:39,129 --> 01:27:41,928
Let's go- Let's go
call D-Daddy, okay?

1753
01:27:42,007 --> 01:27:45,181
[Baby Crying]

1754
01:27:45,260 --> 01:27:46,557
Shelby!

1755
01:27:47,929 --> 01:27:49,431
Darling, I'm home.

1756
01:27:54,227 --> 01:27:55,353
Shelby!

1757
01:27:56,688 --> 01:27:59,066
What's the matter, pal?

1758
01:27:59,149 --> 01:28:00,776
What?

1759
01:28:02,861 --> 01:28:04,704
What's the matter?

1760
01:28:04,780 --> 01:28:06,123
Shelby!

1761
01:28:09,534 --> 01:28:11,207
Shelby!

1762
01:28:11,286 --> 01:28:13,539
Okay, buddy. Okay, okay.

1763
01:28:13,622 --> 01:28:14,839
All right.

1764
01:28:14,915 --> 01:28:16,167
Shelby!

1765
01:28:16,249 --> 01:28:17,671
Oh, my God.

1766
01:28:17,751 --> 01:28:21,176
Okay, baby, just put you
right here. One minute.

1767
01:28:21,254 --> 01:28:23,052
Shelby? Baby?

1768
01:28:23,131 --> 01:28:24,383
Shelby?

1769
01:28:38,480 --> 01:28:41,484
[ Doctor Speaking, indistinct]

1770
01:28:49,741 --> 01:28:51,835
Rejection of the kidney.

1771
01:29:02,754 --> 01:29:05,098
The coma may be irreversible.

1772
01:29:18,937 --> 01:29:21,941
[Humming “Hush, Little Baby”]

1773
01:29:42,294 --> 01:29:43,386
Good morning.

1774
01:29:43,461 --> 01:29:44,383
Morning, Gladys.

1775
01:29:44,462 --> 01:29:46,681
We're doing our Jane Fonda.

1776
01:29:46,756 --> 01:29:49,305
Yeah, exercises
are good for her.

1777
01:29:51,303 --> 01:29:54,557
Here's the one where
you're holding him.

1778
01:29:54,639 --> 01:29:56,607
You're looking at him
and he's looking at you,

1779
01:29:56,683 --> 01:29:59,857
and then you all looked
over at me. Remember?

1780
01:29:59,936 --> 01:30:01,233
Open your eyes, Shelby.

1781
01:30:01,313 --> 01:30:04,487
Open your eyes. Open your eyes.
Look at him.

1782
01:30:04,566 --> 01:30:06,489
He wants you to
open your eyes, Shelby.

1783
01:30:06,568 --> 01:30:09,572
He wants you to open-
open your eyes.

1784
01:30:15,994 --> 01:30:18,372
The patient's pulse
is unchanged.

1785
01:30:20,290 --> 01:30:23,009
Some fluttering
in the A.V. fistula.

1786
01:30:24,794 --> 01:30:26,262
It's weak.

1787
01:30:26,338 --> 01:30:28,215
The radial pulse is weaker.

1788
01:30:28,298 --> 01:30:30,801
The renal pulse is unchanged.

1789
01:30:55,033 --> 01:30:57,127
“Lesson three.

1790
01:30:57,202 --> 01:31:02,424
“Never be afraid
to try a brave new look.

1791
01:31:02,499 --> 01:31:05,673
“Now, that can mean wearing...

1792
01:31:05,752 --> 01:31:08,756
“daring to wear, um...

1793
01:31:08,838 --> 01:31:13,560
a sexy slip of a dress
that bares...”.

1794
01:31:18,181 --> 01:31:22,607
Honey, it'll do you good
to get out for a while.

1795
01:31:22,686 --> 01:31:24,188
Eat a real dinner.

1796
01:31:27,148 --> 01:31:31,699
What if she wakes up for two
minutes and I'm not here?

1797
01:31:35,824 --> 01:31:38,498
“For example,

1798
01:31:38,576 --> 01:31:41,705
we know where you can get
a top-of-the-line hairstyle.”

1799
01:33:04,829 --> 01:33:06,001
[ Kiss]

1800
01:33:56,381 --> 01:33:58,258
Call Clairee.

1801
01:34:00,176 --> 01:34:01,723
Call Connolly's Funeral Home.

1802
01:34:01,803 --> 01:34:03,305
That's the nicest.

1803
01:34:09,435 --> 01:34:10,732
Jackson.

1804
01:34:13,356 --> 01:34:16,530
You're going to have
to get her pink suit,

1805
01:34:16,609 --> 01:34:20,659
the one with the little red
cherries on the lapel?

1806
01:34:23,408 --> 01:34:25,786
Where's Jack, Jr.?

1807
01:34:25,869 --> 01:34:27,462
Aunt Fern's.

1808
01:35:13,291 --> 01:35:14,543
Here's your grandma.

1809
01:35:26,763 --> 01:35:27,810
There you go.

1810
01:35:27,889 --> 01:35:30,392
Pumpkin.

1811
01:35:33,311 --> 01:35:35,234
Jackson.

1812
01:35:59,712 --> 01:36:02,682
Does this tie go?

1813
01:36:05,510 --> 01:36:06,853
Yeah.

1814
01:36:09,097 --> 01:36:11,520
You look real nice.

1815
01:36:11,599 --> 01:36:15,445
I'll come with you to the funeral
if you don't mind.

1816
01:36:16,521 --> 01:36:18,523
I don't mind.

1817
01:36:31,160 --> 01:36:34,209
I feel sorry for them, you know?

1818
01:36:35,581 --> 01:36:37,583
I mean, especially Jackson...

1819
01:36:39,836 --> 01:36:42,055
losing Shelby like that.

1820
01:36:45,842 --> 01:36:48,846
If something like that ever
happened to me, I don't know...

1821
01:36:51,139 --> 01:36:53,141
I don't know what I'd do.

1822
01:36:59,647 --> 01:37:03,117
A thing like this just
doesn't make any sense.

1823
01:37:04,277 --> 01:37:06,325
No sense at all.

1824
01:37:06,404 --> 01:37:09,658
I just keep thinking
about what Annelle says.

1825
01:37:09,741 --> 01:37:13,086
“The Lord works in mysterious ways.”.

1826
01:37:14,287 --> 01:37:16,415
What the hell is this for?

1827
01:37:17,915 --> 01:37:19,667
It makes you pretty.

1828
01:39:16,284 --> 01:39:17,752
Hey.

1829
01:39:17,827 --> 01:39:19,704
Come on home, honey.

1830
01:39:37,096 --> 01:39:39,599
How you holding up, honey?

1831
01:39:42,018 --> 01:39:43,395
I'm fine.

1832
01:39:44,770 --> 01:39:47,740
It was a beautiful service.

1833
01:39:47,815 --> 01:39:50,785
The flowers were
the most beautiful flowers

1834
01:39:50,860 --> 01:39:52,862
I have ever seen.

1835
01:39:52,945 --> 01:39:55,368
They were beautiful.

1836
01:39:56,949 --> 01:39:58,326
Miss M'Lynn?

1837
01:39:58,409 --> 01:40:01,504
It should make you
feel a lot better

1838
01:40:01,579 --> 01:40:04,583
that Shelby is with her king.

1839
01:40:05,750 --> 01:40:08,879
Yes, Annelle, I guess it should.

1840
01:40:08,961 --> 01:40:11,931
We should all be rejoicing.

1841
01:40:12,006 --> 01:40:13,223
You go on ahead.

1842
01:40:13,299 --> 01:40:15,393
I'm sorry if I don't feel like it.

1843
01:40:15,468 --> 01:40:16,845
I guess I'm a little selfish.

1844
01:40:16,928 --> 01:40:18,601
I'd rather have her here.

1845
01:40:21,307 --> 01:40:22,729
Miss M'Lynn...

1846
01:40:23,893 --> 01:40:27,488
I don't mean to upset you
by saying that.

1847
01:40:29,106 --> 01:40:31,154
It's just that...

1848
01:40:32,151 --> 01:40:34,074
when something
like this happens,

1849
01:40:34,153 --> 01:40:35,530
I pray very hard

1850
01:40:35,613 --> 01:40:39,208
to make heads
or tails of it, and...

1851
01:40:39,283 --> 01:40:42,207
and I think that in Shelby's case,

1852
01:40:42,286 --> 01:40:46,041
she just wanted to take care
of that little baby

1853
01:40:46,123 --> 01:40:50,128
and of you,
of everybody she knew.

1854
01:40:50,211 --> 01:40:53,055
And her poor little body
was just worn out.

1855
01:40:53,798 --> 01:40:58,053
It just wouldn't let her do
all the things she wanted to.

1856
01:40:58,135 --> 01:41:01,059
So she went on to a place

1857
01:41:01,138 --> 01:41:04,017
where she could
be a guardian angel.

1858
01:41:05,184 --> 01:41:07,482
She will always be young,

1859
01:41:07,562 --> 01:41:10,486
she will always be beautiful.

1860
01:41:10,565 --> 01:41:15,412
And I personally feel much safer
knowing she's up there on my side.

1861
01:41:17,822 --> 01:41:21,497
It may sound
real simple and stupid,

1862
01:41:21,576 --> 01:41:23,169
and maybe I am,

1863
01:41:23,244 --> 01:41:26,965
but that's how I get
through things like this.

1864
01:41:31,085 --> 01:41:33,133
Thank you, Annelle.

1865
01:41:37,466 --> 01:41:39,468
I appreciate that.

1866
01:41:41,012 --> 01:41:43,811
And it's a real good idea.

1867
01:41:43,889 --> 01:41:48,395
Shelby wouldn't want us to get
mired down and wallow in this.

1868
01:41:48,477 --> 01:41:52,323
We should handle it
the best way we know how

1869
01:41:52,398 --> 01:41:53,866
and get on with it.

1870
01:41:54,734 --> 01:41:57,283
That's what my mind says.

1871
01:41:58,529 --> 01:42:02,033
I wish somebody
would explain it to my heart.

1872
01:42:02,116 --> 01:42:04,869
Drum says you never left her side
for a second.

1873
01:42:05,828 --> 01:42:07,455
No...

1874
01:42:07,538 --> 01:42:10,462
I couldn't leave my Shelby.

1875
01:42:10,541 --> 01:42:13,465
I just sat there
and kept on pushing

1876
01:42:13,544 --> 01:42:16,969
the way I always have
where Shelby was concerned.

1877
01:42:17,048 --> 01:42:21,599
I was hoping she'd
sit up and argue with me.

1878
01:42:23,054 --> 01:42:26,479
And finally we realized
there was no hope.

1879
01:42:28,559 --> 01:42:30,357
We turned off the machines.

1880
01:42:32,355 --> 01:42:34,357
Drum left.
He couldn't take it.

1881
01:42:35,566 --> 01:42:36,909
Jackson left.

1882
01:42:40,321 --> 01:42:42,323
I find it amusing.

1883
01:42:42,406 --> 01:42:46,877
Men are supposed to be
made out of steel or something.

1884
01:42:49,080 --> 01:42:51,583
But I just sat there.

1885
01:42:53,125 --> 01:42:56,004
I just held Shelby's hand.

1886
01:42:58,422 --> 01:43:00,516
There was no noise...

1887
01:43:01,550 --> 01:43:02,847
no tremble...

1888
01:43:04,011 --> 01:43:05,934
just... peace.

1889
01:43:09,141 --> 01:43:11,439
Oh, God.

1890
01:43:11,519 --> 01:43:16,491
I realize, as a woman,
how lucky I am.

1891
01:43:17,566 --> 01:43:18,988
I was there

1892
01:43:19,068 --> 01:43:23,073
when that wonderful creature
drifted into my life,

1893
01:43:23,155 --> 01:43:25,829
and I was there
when she drifted out.

1894
01:43:25,908 --> 01:43:29,412
It was the most
precious moment of my life.

1895
01:43:36,669 --> 01:43:37,921
I got to get back.

1896
01:43:38,629 --> 01:43:40,381
Does anybody got a mirror?

1897
01:43:40,464 --> 01:43:43,638
Does anybody have a mirror?

1898
01:43:43,718 --> 01:43:46,562
I don't know how you're doing
on the inside, honey,

1899
01:43:46,637 --> 01:43:49,390
but your hair
is just holding up beautiful.

1900
01:43:51,684 --> 01:43:55,780
Oh... Shelby was right.

1901
01:43:58,065 --> 01:44:00,693
This is a brown football helmet.

1902
01:44:00,776 --> 01:44:02,494
Honey, are you okay?

1903
01:44:02,570 --> 01:44:06,245
I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine.

1904
01:44:06,323 --> 01:44:08,496
I'm fine!

1905
01:44:09,535 --> 01:44:12,664
I can jog all the way
to Texas and back,

1906
01:44:12,747 --> 01:44:16,172
but my daughter can't.

1907
01:44:16,250 --> 01:44:18,218
She never could.

1908
01:44:18,294 --> 01:44:21,423
God! I'm so mad,
I don't know what to do.

1909
01:44:21,505 --> 01:44:22,472
I want to know why.

1910
01:44:22,548 --> 01:44:25,518
I want to know why
Shelby's life is over.

1911
01:44:25,593 --> 01:44:27,766
I want to know how
that baby will ever know

1912
01:44:27,845 --> 01:44:30,268
how wonderful his mother was.

1913
01:44:30,347 --> 01:44:33,897
Will he ever know
what she went through for him?

1914
01:44:33,976 --> 01:44:37,446
Oh, God, I want to know why!

1915
01:44:37,521 --> 01:44:39,148
Why?

1916
01:44:39,231 --> 01:44:41,984
Lord, I wish I could understand.

1917
01:44:42,067 --> 01:44:45,287
No! No! No!

1918
01:44:45,362 --> 01:44:47,285
It's not supposed
to happen this way.

1919
01:44:47,364 --> 01:44:48,832
I'm supposed to go first.

1920
01:44:48,908 --> 01:44:51,502
I've always been ready to go first.

1921
01:44:51,577 --> 01:44:55,673
I don't think I can take this.
I don't think I can take this.

1922
01:44:55,748 --> 01:44:58,627
I just want to hit somebody
till they feel as bad as I do.

1923
01:44:58,709 --> 01:45:02,304
I just want to hit something!
I want to hit it hard!

1924
01:45:02,379 --> 01:45:04,928
Here!

1925
01:45:05,007 --> 01:45:06,384
Hit this!

1926
01:45:06,467 --> 01:45:08,310
Go ahead, M'Lynn.
Slap her!

1927
01:45:08,385 --> 01:45:09,477
Are you crazy?

1928
01:45:09,553 --> 01:45:10,349
Hit her!

1929
01:45:10,429 --> 01:45:12,272
Are you high, Clairee?

1930
01:45:12,348 --> 01:45:13,895
Have you lost your mind?

1931
01:45:13,974 --> 01:45:17,695
We'll sell T-shirts saying,
“I slapped Ouiser Bordeaux.”.

1932
01:45:17,770 --> 01:45:18,817
Hit her!

1933
01:45:18,896 --> 01:45:21,274
Miss Clairee, enough.

1934
01:45:21,357 --> 01:45:25,487
Ouiser, this is your chance
to do something for your fellow man.

1935
01:45:25,569 --> 01:45:27,822
Knock her lights out, M'Lynn!

1936
01:45:27,905 --> 01:45:29,373
Let go of me!

1937
01:45:29,448 --> 01:45:30,700
You missed your chance.

1938
01:45:30,783 --> 01:45:35,004
Half of Chinquapin Parish would give their
eye-teeth to take a whack at Ouiser!

1939
01:45:36,247 --> 01:45:38,545
[All Laughing]

1940
01:45:39,750 --> 01:45:41,093
Oh.

1941
01:45:45,422 --> 01:45:47,516
You are a pig from hell!

1942
01:45:52,263 --> 01:45:53,685
Ouiser, don't leave!

1943
01:45:53,764 --> 01:45:58,065
Ouiser, Ouiser, I was just kidding.
Come back. Oh.

1944
01:46:00,688 --> 01:46:03,783
Not a very Christian
thing to do.

1945
01:46:03,858 --> 01:46:07,613
Oh. Annelle,
you got to lighten up.

1946
01:46:43,981 --> 01:46:45,654
Go away.

1947
01:46:45,733 --> 01:46:49,158
Okay, all right, hit me then
I deserve it.

1948
01:46:49,236 --> 01:46:51,910
You are evil,
and you must be destroyed.

1949
01:46:51,989 --> 01:46:55,414
Mother Nature's taking care of
that faster than you could.

1950
01:46:55,492 --> 01:46:59,918
Things were getting entirely too serious
for a moment. We needed to laugh.

1951
01:47:01,206 --> 01:47:04,085
I bet Lloyd got a kick out of it.

1952
01:47:04,168 --> 01:47:09,470
Lloyd got a great deal of enjoyment
at my expense when he was alive.

1953
01:47:09,548 --> 01:47:13,974
Ouiser, you know I love you
more than my luggage.

1954
01:47:23,020 --> 01:47:24,863
All right.

1955
01:47:26,482 --> 01:47:28,826
This is my bench!

1956
01:47:28,901 --> 01:47:30,949
Get off my bench!

1957
01:47:31,028 --> 01:47:33,952
Get off my- Good.

1958
01:47:34,031 --> 01:47:37,205
You are too twisted
for colour TV, Clairee.

1959
01:47:38,243 --> 01:47:40,041
Have your roots done.

1960
01:47:45,542 --> 01:47:47,465
I shouldn't have
gone on the way I did.

1961
01:47:47,544 --> 01:47:49,467
I made everybody cry.
Sony.

1962
01:47:49,546 --> 01:47:50,638
Don't be silly.

1963
01:47:50,714 --> 01:47:54,810
Laughter through tears
is my favourite emotion.

1964
01:47:54,885 --> 01:47:58,435
Maybe I should have an
emotional outburst more often.

1965
01:47:58,514 --> 01:48:00,562
Maybe I should start
having them at home.

1966
01:48:00,641 --> 01:48:02,484
Drum would be so pleased.

1967
01:48:06,522 --> 01:48:09,901
I'm glad to see
the two of you made up.

1968
01:48:09,984 --> 01:48:12,407
Ouiser could never
stay mad at me.

1969
01:48:12,486 --> 01:48:15,330
She worships
the quicksand I walk on.

1970
01:48:19,201 --> 01:48:22,171
M'Lynn...
you're in my prayers, honey.

1971
01:48:29,211 --> 01:48:31,964
Yes, Annelle, I pray.

1972
01:48:33,298 --> 01:48:35,517
Well, I do.
There, I said it.

1973
01:48:35,592 --> 01:48:36,718
I hope you're satisfied.

1974
01:48:36,802 --> 01:48:39,180
I suspected this all along.

1975
01:48:39,263 --> 01:48:42,858
Don't you expect me to come
to one of your churches,

1976
01:48:42,933 --> 01:48:47,359
those tent revivals with all those Bible
beaters doing God only knows what.

1977
01:48:47,438 --> 01:48:50,408
They'd probably make me
eat a live chicken.

1978
01:48:50,482 --> 01:48:53,235
Not on your first visit.

1979
01:48:53,318 --> 01:48:54,865
Very good, Annelle.

1980
01:48:54,945 --> 01:48:58,119
Spoken like a true smart ass.

1981
01:49:02,202 --> 01:49:04,204
Oh, what are you doing?

1982
01:49:04,288 --> 01:49:06,086
Are you eating my picture?

1983
01:49:17,134 --> 01:49:18,807
Let's play on the swing.

1984
01:49:18,886 --> 01:49:20,513
Get our feet's in.

1985
01:49:20,596 --> 01:49:21,973
There we go.

1986
01:49:22,056 --> 01:49:25,560
Hold on.

1987
01:49:25,642 --> 01:49:26,564
Ahh.

1988
01:49:26,643 --> 01:49:28,145
Hold on.

1989
01:49:31,023 --> 01:49:35,403
Miss M'Lynn, I don't know if
this is the right time or place,

1990
01:49:35,486 --> 01:49:39,161
but I wanted to tell you
that Sammy and I have decided

1991
01:49:39,239 --> 01:49:42,083
that if this baby's a girl,

1992
01:49:42,159 --> 01:49:44,127
we'd like to name it Shelby,

1993
01:49:44,203 --> 01:49:47,298
since she was the reason
we met in the first place.

1994
01:49:47,372 --> 01:49:48,999
If you don't mind.

1995
01:49:49,083 --> 01:49:51,302
Shelby would love that.

1996
01:49:52,294 --> 01:49:54,467
I'm tickled pink.

1997
01:49:56,715 --> 01:49:58,092
Pink.

1998
01:49:58,175 --> 01:50:02,100
What are you going to name it
if it happens to be a boy?

1999
01:50:03,180 --> 01:50:05,103
Shelby, I guess.

2000
01:50:05,182 --> 01:50:07,526
That's how it should be.

2001
01:50:07,601 --> 01:50:10,525
Life goes on.

2002
01:50:47,766 --> 01:50:51,737
I've never been so uncomfortable
in all my life.

2003
01:50:51,812 --> 01:50:56,238
We'll talk about uncomfortable
when you're nine months pregnant, okay?

2004
01:50:58,193 --> 01:51:01,322
Keep those eyes closed, woman,
or I'm going to staple them shut.

2005
01:51:01,405 --> 01:51:03,248
They're closed.
What is it?

2006
01:51:03,323 --> 01:51:04,745
Okay. Now?

2007
01:51:04,825 --> 01:51:05,701
Ready?

2008
01:51:05,784 --> 01:51:07,081
Yeah.

2009
01:51:07,911 --> 01:51:09,333
Keep them shut.

2010
01:51:09,413 --> 01:51:10,756
Okay. Open them up.

2011
01:51:10,831 --> 01:51:12,504
All right.

2012
01:51:14,459 --> 01:51:16,177
I don't believe it!

2013
01:51:16,253 --> 01:51:19,848
I'm a chain!
Oh, Spud, oh!

2014
01:51:21,800 --> 01:51:23,347
Jesus.

2015
01:51:23,427 --> 01:51:24,849
Oh, lighten up.

2016
01:51:24,928 --> 01:51:27,727
Now, you just burst
through those bushes

2017
01:51:27,806 --> 01:51:30,901
and hop over
to where the kids are.

2018
01:51:30,976 --> 01:51:33,354
What bushes?
I can't see shit.

2019
01:51:33,437 --> 01:51:35,189
Over there.

2020
01:51:35,272 --> 01:51:38,742
I'm an adult,
I'm not a five-year-old.

2021
01:51:38,817 --> 01:51:41,821
On your mark, get set, go!

2022
01:51:41,904 --> 01:51:42,951
Come on.

2023
01:51:43,030 --> 01:51:47,206
Okay, Jack, jr.,
I'm going to tell you a story.

2024
01:51:48,619 --> 01:51:50,542
Once upon a time,

2025
01:51:50,621 --> 01:51:54,546
there was a beautiful
young gal named Shelby.

2026
01:51:54,625 --> 01:51:57,504
And Shelby had a lovely,

2027
01:51:57,586 --> 01:52:03,559
kind and wonderful good fairy
named Clairee.

2028
01:52:04,635 --> 01:52:08,230
But there was also a horrible, evil,

2029
01:52:08,305 --> 01:52:11,730
ugly witch named Ouiser.

2030
01:52:11,808 --> 01:52:14,732
I hate these stupid
neighbourhood things.

2031
01:52:14,811 --> 01:52:17,564
No one's twisting your arm
to keep you here.

2032
01:52:17,648 --> 01:52:20,071
Well, I have to be sociable.

2033
01:52:21,360 --> 01:52:23,078
Hey, Rhett's here!

2034
01:52:25,364 --> 01:52:27,037
Let's connect the bald spots.

2035
01:52:27,115 --> 01:52:28,287
Drum?

2036
01:52:28,367 --> 01:52:29,243
Hmm?

2037
01:52:29,326 --> 01:52:30,794
Eat shit and die.

2038
01:52:30,869 --> 01:52:32,086
Hello, M'Lynn.

2039
01:52:32,162 --> 01:52:34,415
Ouiser. Owen.

2040
01:52:34,498 --> 01:52:35,966
Good to see you, too,
Ouiser, Owen.

2041
01:52:36,041 --> 01:52:37,839
[Woof Woof Woof]

2042
01:52:38,710 --> 01:52:40,587
Come on, Rhett.
Kill! Kill!

2043
01:52:40,671 --> 01:52:43,800
Quit it, Drum!
Stop egging him on.

2044
01:52:43,882 --> 01:52:45,350
Arrr!

2045
01:52:47,177 --> 01:52:51,273
And everyone lived
happily ever after.

2046
01:52:51,348 --> 01:52:55,694
And the nasty,
wicked, evil, wretched,

2047
01:52:55,769 --> 01:52:58,067
horrible, mean Ouiser

2048
01:52:58,146 --> 01:53:01,195
was never heard from again.

2049
01:53:01,275 --> 01:53:04,245
Now, it's almost time
for the Easter Bunny.

2050
01:53:04,319 --> 01:53:07,163
Run on down, hmm?

2051
01:53:07,239 --> 01:53:08,536
Here!

2052
01:53:13,870 --> 01:53:15,747
Shh.

2053
01:53:21,253 --> 01:53:22,505
Ha ha ha!

2054
01:53:22,587 --> 01:53:24,305
Hi, Jack.
You remember me?

2055
01:53:24,381 --> 01:53:25,974
It's your old pal Ouiser.

2056
01:53:26,049 --> 01:53:28,017
[Jack Crying]

2057
01:53:29,553 --> 01:53:30,349
Aah! Jack!

2058
01:53:30,429 --> 01:53:32,682
This isn't like Jackson

2059
01:53:32,764 --> 01:53:34,983
Jack, come here.

2060
01:53:42,941 --> 01:53:44,614
Oh, Jack.

2061
01:53:44,693 --> 01:53:46,161
Is he all right?

2062
01:53:46,236 --> 01:53:48,364
Oh, yes, he's all right.

2063
01:53:55,412 --> 01:53:57,130
Ohh.

2064
01:53:57,205 --> 01:54:00,175
Oh, Truvy!

2065
01:54:00,250 --> 01:54:02,924
Oh, honey. It's okay, it's okay.

2066
01:54:03,003 --> 01:54:04,971
Women have babies
every day. M'Lynn.

2067
01:54:05,047 --> 01:54:05,923
Jonathan, quick.

2068
01:54:06,006 --> 01:54:08,759
Get that Easter Bunny
over here now!

2069
01:54:08,842 --> 01:54:10,264
Hey, Tommy, where's Sammy?

2070
01:54:10,344 --> 01:54:11,311
Over there.

2071
01:54:11,386 --> 01:54:12,512
Why? What's going on?

2072
01:54:12,596 --> 01:54:14,269
What's- Oh, my God!

2073
01:54:14,348 --> 01:54:16,316
She's going to have a baby!

2074
01:54:16,391 --> 01:54:18,018
Go get a doctor.

2075
01:54:18,101 --> 01:54:18,897
A doc- Help!

2076
01:54:18,977 --> 01:54:21,196
This way! This way!

2077
01:54:21,271 --> 01:54:22,818
This way. Come on.

2078
01:54:22,898 --> 01:54:25,947
Through here.
Come on. Get her in.

2079
01:54:29,029 --> 01:54:31,908
It's all right, honey.
We'll get Sammy.

2080
01:54:31,990 --> 01:54:34,288
Easy, easy.

2081
01:54:40,707 --> 01:54:41,378
Bye-bye.

2082
01:54:41,458 --> 01:54:44,462
Bye. Bye. Bye.

2083
01:54:46,880 --> 01:54:48,723
Come on, Sammy!

2084
01:54:49,966 --> 01:54:51,764
Get your tail hopping!