1 00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:42,600 I think your bookkeeper paid for the flatware twice. 2 00:01:42,670 --> 00:01:46,770 Albert, stop. I can't do this any more. 3 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:49,710 Mollie, I love you and you love me. 4 00:01:49,777 --> 00:01:54,417 Albert, you're great in bed and you're my biggest account. 5 00:01:54,482 --> 00:01:56,882 ...but you're married! 6 00:01:56,950 --> 00:02:03,220 And I'll never fall in love with anyone else while I'm seeing you. 7 00:02:03,291 --> 00:02:07,331 You know I'm leaving Beth. It just takes time. 8 00:02:07,395 --> 00:02:13,795 Every time I say the word divorce, she loses five pounds. 9 00:02:13,867 --> 00:02:18,137 I'm sorry she's bulimic. 10 00:02:18,206 --> 00:02:22,636 - I can't wait for you forever - It's going to work out soon. 11 00:02:22,710 --> 00:02:28,820 The doctor prescribed new pills and she's starting ballet classes. 12 00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:36,157 - It'll be like the playwriting. 13 00:02:36,224 --> 00:02:39,694 - She knows this can't make her fat. She said writing made her ass spread. 14 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:44,500 Which is insane, she's got a great ass for a 40-year-old. 15 00:02:44,565 --> 00:02:48,735 I'll tell Mr. Ross to give your account to someone else. 16 00:02:48,802 --> 00:02:55,412 I won't let him. I'll never let anyone else touch my books. 17 00:02:59,347 --> 00:03:06,047 God, Mollie, I'm going to burst if you don't kiss me soon. 18 00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:50,034 Follow me. I know where I'm going. I've got the map. Come on. 19 00:03:50,097 --> 00:03:55,937 Come on, keep up, you kids. Here we go. 20 00:04:00,308 --> 00:04:04,078 Wait a minute, I see something 21 00:04:04,144 --> 00:04:07,624 I think this is it, right over here. 22 00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:12,121 This is definitely it. This is the place. 23 00:04:12,185 --> 00:04:14,785 Jackpot! 24 00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:19,985 Right down here, kids. Here we go. 25 00:04:22,730 --> 00:04:27,900 Dig in, you kids. Here we go. 26 00:04:27,968 --> 00:04:31,238 It's kind of tough here. 27 00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:36,505 Oh, oh... 28 00:04:36,577 --> 00:04:39,477 I'm in! 29 00:05:08,776 --> 00:05:12,876 Are you okay? 30 00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:16,216 - I broke up with George. - Who? 31 00:05:16,283 --> 00:05:23,793 George. I met him in Joe Allen's. He turned out to be stupid. 32 00:05:29,463 --> 00:05:33,973 You look lousy, doll. 33 00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:39,974 - Stomach flu. It's going around. - Nobody has the stomach flu. 34 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:43,840 They don't? You want to hear about Albert? 35 00:05:43,911 --> 00:05:47,621 - Listen to me. - I am. 36 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:53,521 Albert's shrink said his wife would never recover if he kept seeing me. 37 00:05:53,587 --> 00:05:57,987 - He's decided to leave her. - Albert's leaving his wife? 38 00:05:58,058 --> 00:06:04,828 No, he's leaving his shrink. She was really an obstacle between us. 39 00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:08,968 Leaving his shrink? He's supposed to leave his wife. 40 00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:16,236 He's going to. He can't leave her while she's sick. She's bulimic. 41 00:06:16,309 --> 00:06:20,909 Don't give me that look. It's a very serious disease. 42 00:06:53,647 --> 00:06:57,077 What in the... Wait a minute. 43 00:06:57,150 --> 00:07:02,490 I've got two of these things. Look at that, they match. 44 00:07:02,556 --> 00:07:08,126 - You ate all that already? - How weird, I don't like ice cream. 45 00:07:08,195 --> 00:07:12,525 - There he is. - This is sick. 46 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:17,170 He looks so sweet with the kids. If only Beth would stop throwing up. 47 00:07:17,237 --> 00:07:23,077 Miss Popularity, you can't expect to find a husband if you never go out. 48 00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:27,783 - You're in every night of the week. - Ma, it's tax season. 49 00:07:29,850 --> 00:07:33,050 I was studying to pass a CPA exam.. 50 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:37,730 - and I still managed to catch your father. 51 00:07:39,259 --> 00:07:42,729 What if Daddy was married when you first met him? 52 00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:46,226 - I wouldn't have fallen for him. - You can't control that. 53 00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:51,039 Why not? Listen, take your father here. 54 00:07:51,104 --> 00:07:56,084 His favourite food was cheesecake, and what did the doctor tell him? 55 00:07:56,143 --> 00:08:01,353 - "Cut back on cholesterol." - Now he doesn't eat cheesecake. 56 00:08:02,382 --> 00:08:05,992 Ma, that doesn't make any sense. 57 00:08:06,053 --> 00:08:10,193 You never used to like my food Something's wrong. 58 00:08:10,257 --> 00:08:13,557 - Nothing's wrong. - Louie, something's wrong. 59 00:08:13,627 --> 00:08:17,397 - I didn't eat breakfast. - Something's wrong. 60 00:08:23,070 --> 00:08:25,440 No. 61 00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:31,082 Oh, no! 62 00:08:31,144 --> 00:08:34,954 - Yes! - Oh, no! 63 00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:40,545 - This wasn't a planned pregnancy? 64 00:08:40,621 --> 00:08:44,931 - This wasn't even a planned affair. Well..Iet's see how far along we are 65 00:08:52,099 --> 00:08:56,999 Time out! Holy cow, what was that? Who's that? 66 00:08:57,070 --> 00:08:59,810 How could this have happened? 67 00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:04,443 - How old are you now, Mollie? - 33. 68 00:09:04,511 --> 00:09:08,621 Remember, your biological clock is ticking. 69 00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:24,556 Beth finally agreed to a divorce. Mollie, I'm so glad you waited 70 00:09:24,632 --> 00:09:29,602 I knew if I was patient, this day would come. 71 00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:37,507 Remember your biological clock. 72 00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:59,566 My biological clock is ticking... 73 00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:02,273 I know, I've already said that I didn't plan on this. 74 00:10:02,335 --> 00:10:06,205 I'm not asking for anything. I don't want to trap you. 75 00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:11,813 But this baby... it's you and me, and I'm not getting an abortion. 76 00:10:14,014 --> 00:10:19,254 I wasn't going to ask you to. This will be an incredible baby. 77 00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:24,829 He'll have your sweet face and my business sense. 78 00:10:24,892 --> 00:10:29,102 - We'll get little Armani diapers. - It will be a great kid. 79 00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:33,202 Having my baby what a way to say you love me 80 00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:37,706 Albert, you're making me sick. I hate that song. 81 00:10:39,907 --> 00:10:43,777 Stop singing. She gets sick, I get sick. 82 00:10:43,844 --> 00:10:47,384 What are you going to tell people? 83 00:10:47,447 --> 00:10:50,447 That I got artificially inseminated. 84 00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:56,087 What? How could you do such a thing? 85 00:10:56,156 --> 00:11:00,286 I went to the clinic and bought some frozen sperm. 86 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:06,270 - I inserted it, now I'm pregnant. - Where's the frozen pop? 87 00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:11,913 - There's no frozen pop. - There's no husband. 88 00:11:13,741 --> 00:11:17,481 I control my life and I want to have a baby. 89 00:11:17,544 --> 00:11:21,114 This kind of thing a girl does if she's very ugly or a lesbian. 90 00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:25,721 This is not the act of a beautiful intelligent girl. 91 00:11:25,786 --> 00:11:30,156 You never liked any of my boyfriends, anyway. 92 00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:35,003 - Where did this sperm come from? - A medical student. 93 00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:40,265 He goes to Columbia. His parents live on the lsland 94 00:11:40,333 --> 00:11:44,673 His father's in piece goods. His mother works in cosmetics. 95 00:11:44,738 --> 00:11:48,478 So you're making fun of me. Wait, you'll see. 96 00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:52,111 Someday you'll have children. 97 00:12:05,893 --> 00:12:10,833 Look... an arm. It's an arm. 98 00:12:10,898 --> 00:12:16,738 Look... isn't it cute? 99 00:12:34,487 --> 00:12:38,827 Here's the head... isn't it? 100 00:12:54,041 --> 00:12:57,041 Get some apple juice down here! 101 00:13:04,417 --> 00:13:08,317 - Thirsty? - Go ahead. 102 00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:12,558 "The sex organs are moulded out of similar tissue folds." 103 00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:16,695 "By the second trimester they are identifiable." 104 00:13:16,763 --> 00:13:20,373 Look, another arm coming in down there... 105 00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:24,703 How am I going to get that in my mouth? 106 00:13:26,907 --> 00:13:30,737 Miss, excuse me... 107 00:13:32,712 --> 00:13:36,252 - What can I do for you? - Albert is expecting me. 108 00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:42,016 He's in with his decorator. You can wait over there. 109 00:13:48,061 --> 00:13:51,561 - I think you're going to enjoy it. - I'm sure I will. 110 00:13:51,631 --> 00:13:55,471 - Remember to dust it every day. - See you later. 111 00:13:55,535 --> 00:13:58,935 Hi, come on in. 112 00:14:09,116 --> 00:14:12,246 Albert, was that woman pretty? 113 00:14:12,319 --> 00:14:17,089 - No, you're pretty. - I look like a big, fat pilgrim. 114 00:14:19,092 --> 00:14:22,602 How do you like the desk? 115 00:14:22,662 --> 00:14:26,702 - It's made of stone. - It's all right. 116 00:14:26,766 --> 00:14:31,236 It's going to be great in here This is all going. 117 00:14:31,304 --> 00:14:36,844 I'm having a custom-made mural of an ancient Navajo design. 118 00:14:36,910 --> 00:14:41,510 Leather craftsmen in Mexico are going to make all new couches. 119 00:14:42,582 --> 00:14:47,322 - What do you think? - I like the deco stuff. 120 00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:52,587 - Don't gain too much weight. - My doctor says my weight is fine. 121 00:14:52,659 --> 00:14:59,369 Beth only gained 21 pounds. She jogged three miles a day. 122 00:14:59,432 --> 00:15:04,242 - Maybe you should marry her. - Don't start. 123 00:15:04,304 --> 00:15:10,384 - I've got problems, too. - Sorry. I'm afraid of giving birth. 124 00:15:10,443 --> 00:15:14,613 - I've never been real big on pain. - You been to Lamaze? 125 00:15:14,681 --> 00:15:18,221 I quit. It's just a bunch of breathing. 126 00:15:20,853 --> 00:15:23,523 It's so much better for the baby. When Beth had Priscilla... 127 00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:27,560 I'm so sick of hearing about Beth! 128 00:15:27,627 --> 00:15:31,897 How could you be in love with her and then in love with me? 129 00:15:31,965 --> 00:15:35,295 I have a degree. She took belly-dancing lessons 130 00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:41,268 When I found out I was pregnant, I decided to make out a will. 131 00:15:41,341 --> 00:15:46,451 When Beth had the girls, she had a reading of their past lives. 132 00:15:46,513 --> 00:15:53,253 - And you're still with her! - Oh yeah? Look at this receipt. 133 00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:57,260 - Galleria Apartments. - I moved out. I did it. 134 00:15:57,324 --> 00:16:00,364 I put down a deposit this morning. 135 00:16:02,429 --> 00:16:05,899 I can't believe it! Should I come by tonight? 136 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:09,695 You'd better not. We've still got to be careful. 137 00:16:10,837 --> 00:16:15,137 Albert, I'm so happy! 138 00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:23,720 I wonder if this store has a bathroom. I have to go again. 139 00:16:25,885 --> 00:16:30,615 I love this... Look, it takes two of them to cover me. 140 00:16:30,690 --> 00:16:34,690 - Yeah, but you're having a baby. - You try it on. 141 00:16:34,761 --> 00:16:39,201 - Should I have a baby with Neal? - Do you love him? 142 00:16:39,266 --> 00:16:42,066 No. 143 00:16:42,135 --> 00:16:47,705 Try some of that Nobel Prize winners' sperm. 144 00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:51,740 Don't you want a smart baby? 145 00:16:51,811 --> 00:16:57,681 That's all I need. A baby telling me what an idiot I am. 146 00:16:57,750 --> 00:17:03,360 - I found a nice family man. - Except it's someone else's family. 147 00:17:03,423 --> 00:17:08,803 That's why he left. He loves me and we're having baby. 148 00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:13,871 It sounds like the people in the next compartment are. 149 00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:29,075 - Mollie! - Albert! 150 00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:34,519 - Let me explain... - These dresses aren't paid for. 151 00:17:34,587 --> 00:17:39,757 - Don't take this shit from him. - I'm going to call the cops. 152 00:17:39,826 --> 00:17:42,496 After you. Thank you. 153 00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:46,772 - Albert, what's going on? - Mollie, I've fallen in love. 154 00:17:46,833 --> 00:17:50,643 Beth knows. I'm going to live with Melissa. 155 00:17:50,703 --> 00:17:56,183 I don't know if it'll last. It just happened. 156 00:17:56,243 --> 00:17:59,483 Why didn't you say anything to me? 157 00:17:59,546 --> 00:18:03,446 You were so close to the end of your pregnancy. 158 00:18:03,516 --> 00:18:06,286 I don't believe this is happening. 159 00:18:06,353 --> 00:18:10,693 This sounds awful, but I'm going through a selfish phase. 160 00:18:12,159 --> 00:18:16,259 - A selfish phase? - I admit the timing is bad. 161 00:18:16,329 --> 00:18:20,369 - A selfish phase? - It just happened. 162 00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:24,603 A selfish phase! Albert, you dick. 163 00:18:24,671 --> 00:18:29,641 - You lousy prick! - Leave him alone. 164 00:18:29,709 --> 00:18:33,409 - Come on. - Here. 165 00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:37,050 Hey, what the... 166 00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:42,046 - Wait, please, I'm in labour. - I was here first. 167 00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:48,156 Asshole! Taxi! Please... 168 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:57,100 St. Jerome's Hospital. 169 00:18:57,904 --> 00:19:00,414 Oh, shit! 170 00:19:06,045 --> 00:19:11,645 - Slow down! It can take hours - So can the midtown traffic. 171 00:19:23,062 --> 00:19:25,802 Pull over till the ludes wear off. 172 00:19:28,768 --> 00:19:31,698 God, you idiot! 173 00:19:31,771 --> 00:19:35,341 Come on, move it. 174 00:19:39,279 --> 00:19:46,019 Christ, this traffic... We're going as fast as we can. 175 00:19:46,085 --> 00:19:52,155 Hold onto my hand. Bear down, that's what they say in the hospital. 176 00:19:52,225 --> 00:19:56,855 - Come on, move it. - God, my water just broke. 177 00:19:56,929 --> 00:20:02,299 - Hey, buddy, move it. - You can't get through here. 178 00:20:02,369 --> 00:20:06,569 - I've got an emergency. - Sorry, buddy, move it. 179 00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:15,077 Just relax. Hold on, we're almost there. 180 00:20:15,147 --> 00:20:18,317 Look out! You're going to hit. 181 00:20:22,422 --> 00:20:25,632 Hold on! 182 00:20:27,594 --> 00:20:30,404 You stupid son of a..! 183 00:20:31,831 --> 00:20:34,801 - Are you doing your Lamaze? - Look out! 184 00:20:40,407 --> 00:20:44,577 - Breathe deep. - Don't try to help, just drive! 185 00:20:45,945 --> 00:20:49,675 You've got to use Lamaze. My sister-in-law used it. 186 00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:53,949 - It's better for the kid. - All men are stupid idiots. 187 00:20:55,555 --> 00:21:00,385 - Should I call your husband? - I don't have a husband. 188 00:21:02,429 --> 00:21:06,399 - I was artificially inseminated. - Are you a lesbo? 189 00:21:23,049 --> 00:21:28,689 Stupid jerk! My kid will probably be brain damaged because of you. 190 00:21:30,390 --> 00:21:34,760 Don't touch me! I'll have this baby without you touching me. 191 00:21:37,697 --> 00:21:42,537 - Excuse me, I'm in labour. - Do you have your medical card? 192 00:21:42,602 --> 00:21:45,772 - I left it at home. - I have to have your medical card. 193 00:21:45,838 --> 00:21:50,978 - This is my first baby. - She's getting close. Upstairs. 194 00:21:51,043 --> 00:21:55,883 You didn't finish this. I cannot do my job... 195 00:21:58,050 --> 00:22:03,690 - Put these on over your clothes. - I'm not the father. 196 00:22:03,756 --> 00:22:09,696 - Nurse, another one's coming. - Deep breaths, come on. 197 00:22:09,762 --> 00:22:12,972 Okay, this'll pass. Watch the head. 198 00:22:14,233 --> 00:22:18,373 God! I need some drugs. 199 00:22:18,438 --> 00:22:22,838 - Slow down your breathing. - Fuck my breathing! 200 00:22:22,909 --> 00:22:28,309 - You've got to calm down. - Get me some drugs. 201 00:22:28,381 --> 00:22:33,191 - No, you don't want drugs. - I do. I'm going to split in two. 202 00:22:33,252 --> 00:22:37,662 By the time they take effect she could be delivering. 203 00:22:37,724 --> 00:22:42,634 - But what about now? - I'm waiting for a doctor. 204 00:22:44,964 --> 00:22:49,344 Are you a doctor? Come on. 205 00:22:51,838 --> 00:22:55,838 - Water break? - Half an hour ago. 206 00:22:55,908 --> 00:23:01,248 - Are we doing our Lamaze breathing? - I dropped out of Lamaze. 207 00:23:01,313 --> 00:23:05,893 I'll go to summer school if you make the pain stop. 208 00:23:05,952 --> 00:23:10,562 - How about some Demerol? - God, that'd be great! 209 00:23:10,623 --> 00:23:15,533 I'd like some of that. Give me a lot of it. 210 00:23:15,595 --> 00:23:18,925 So it doesn't wear off during the birth. 211 00:23:18,998 --> 00:23:24,898 I think maybe I'm in a bit more pain than most of your patients. 212 00:23:24,971 --> 00:23:28,371 Be sure and give me enough. 213 00:23:28,441 --> 00:23:33,681 - There we go. - Thank you a really lot. 214 00:23:36,783 --> 00:23:40,823 That is a little more like it. 215 00:23:40,887 --> 00:23:44,717 Hey, here's Mr. Hand here. 216 00:23:45,925 --> 00:23:51,095 Now that is very cosmic. I don't understand... 217 00:23:51,163 --> 00:23:55,603 What's that light down there? 218 00:23:56,769 --> 00:24:00,509 That's it, breathe! 219 00:24:00,573 --> 00:24:05,243 Attagirl, push. One more. 220 00:24:05,311 --> 00:24:09,351 Stop with that pushing! I'm falling! 221 00:24:14,754 --> 00:24:16,894 Help! 222 00:24:16,956 --> 00:24:22,926 No, put me back in! Let go of my head and put me back inside! 223 00:24:22,995 --> 00:24:25,095 It's a boy. 224 00:24:25,164 --> 00:24:28,074 It's a boy. 225 00:24:28,134 --> 00:24:33,274 Who are you? Lady, I'm freezing. I'm so cold. 226 00:24:33,339 --> 00:24:36,979 Get that thing away from me. 227 00:24:37,043 --> 00:24:41,153 - You want to do the cord? - No, you take this one. 228 00:24:41,213 --> 00:24:44,453 I need that! 229 00:24:46,619 --> 00:24:51,319 Lady, a blanket, something, I'm frosty out here. 230 00:24:54,093 --> 00:24:57,833 No, don't do that! 231 00:25:01,267 --> 00:25:06,207 Where are we going now? Hey, don't drop me. 232 00:25:06,272 --> 00:25:11,042 Oh, very nice... 233 00:25:18,217 --> 00:25:21,987 I don't know about you, but I'm beat. 234 00:25:22,054 --> 00:25:25,794 So you're the one that's been kicking me. 235 00:25:25,858 --> 00:25:29,328 You're the one that ate the spicy food. 236 00:25:31,831 --> 00:25:37,441 This is the weirdest thing that's ever happened to me... so far. 237 00:25:40,472 --> 00:25:46,252 I don't get it. I just don't get it. Where did I go wrong? 238 00:25:47,580 --> 00:25:53,090 Where are my thumbs? I want to suck my thumbs. 239 00:25:53,152 --> 00:25:58,662 - I have to get my own place. - I've been reincarnated so quickly? 240 00:25:59,626 --> 00:26:03,026 What a surprise! 241 00:26:03,095 --> 00:26:07,795 Who stole my sucking thing? I need my sucking thing! 242 00:26:07,867 --> 00:26:10,937 I just remembered I hate childhood. 243 00:26:20,379 --> 00:26:23,379 Look at all those daddies. 244 00:26:23,449 --> 00:26:30,089 Making goofball faces and taking pictures of their babies. 245 00:26:30,156 --> 00:26:33,256 You won't find your father here. 246 00:26:33,325 --> 00:26:37,095 I really messed things up for you. 247 00:26:37,163 --> 00:26:42,333 Don't be upset. I'm going to find you a daddy. 248 00:26:42,401 --> 00:26:46,311 And not just some handsome guy I'm in love with. 249 00:26:46,372 --> 00:26:53,382 You're all that matters to me. I'll get you the best daddy ever. 250 00:26:58,885 --> 00:27:05,785 Out, down, in, out... Well, we got that. 251 00:27:05,858 --> 00:27:09,228 What have you got there? A hand? 252 00:27:09,295 --> 00:27:12,225 Yeah, two of them. 253 00:27:19,839 --> 00:27:22,839 Oh, my God! 254 00:27:29,215 --> 00:27:34,245 "On the third or fourth day your breasts may swell slightly." 255 00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:38,790 Slightly? I look like a Russ Meyer movie. 256 00:27:45,765 --> 00:27:48,695 Workman. 257 00:27:48,768 --> 00:27:53,638 - Oh, no! Sorry. - Real nice. 258 00:27:56,642 --> 00:28:01,512 - You got your figure back. - This is not my figure. 259 00:28:01,580 --> 00:28:05,720 Sorry I hit you and yelled at you, but I was in a lot of pain. 260 00:28:05,785 --> 00:28:11,715 I still owe you that cab fare, but somebody stole my purse. 261 00:28:11,791 --> 00:28:16,201 - How do you like New York so far? - It's my kind of town. 262 00:28:16,262 --> 00:28:21,932 I'll get you the rest later... Wait a minute... 263 00:28:22,001 --> 00:28:27,211 - How did you know where I lived? - You left it in the cab. 264 00:28:29,742 --> 00:28:31,682 Thanks. 265 00:28:31,744 --> 00:28:36,684 You should look through that thing. You've still got your diaphragm. 266 00:28:42,889 --> 00:28:46,029 Don't smoke that around my baby. 267 00:28:46,092 --> 00:28:51,362 There's a 62 * higher rate of cancer in people who live with smokers. 268 00:28:51,430 --> 00:28:56,670 What are you trying to say? You don't want me to move in yet? 269 00:28:56,735 --> 00:29:01,235 Do you think the drugs had any effect on him? 270 00:29:01,307 --> 00:29:05,577 - How did you know I had drugs? - I don't. I didn't. 271 00:29:05,644 --> 00:29:08,854 You can tell in his eyes. He looks stoned. 272 00:29:09,882 --> 00:29:17,422 - He does not. He looks perfect. 273 00:29:17,489 --> 00:29:20,359 - You don't look so hot yourself. 274 00:29:20,426 --> 00:29:23,496 If you tried passing a watermelon, how hot would you look? 275 00:29:23,562 --> 00:29:27,872 Ouch! I should call my mother more often. Get it? 276 00:29:27,934 --> 00:29:32,744 - Do you want a sub? - No, will you just watch him? 277 00:29:32,805 --> 00:29:38,035 Don't take him out of his chair and don't touch him a whole lot. 278 00:29:40,746 --> 00:29:43,316 Hi, Mikey. I'm James. 279 00:29:43,382 --> 00:29:49,492 - Good to meet you. - Do you mind if I suck on that? 280 00:29:49,555 --> 00:29:56,155 - How long have you been here? - About five years. 281 00:29:56,228 --> 00:30:04,038 - Were you born in New York? - Are you with the census bureau? 282 00:30:04,103 --> 00:30:11,183 How do you like the outside world? It's weird, isn't it? 283 00:30:11,243 --> 00:30:17,083 - Yeah, tell me about it. - Here, your first lesson in coffee. 284 00:30:17,149 --> 00:30:22,649 - Can you say black coffee? - No. 285 00:30:22,721 --> 00:30:28,091 Regular coffee has two sugars and milk... which they have forgotten. 286 00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:35,130 Can I borrow some of yours? Coffee regular, I love it. 287 00:30:35,201 --> 00:30:38,541 That's breast milk. 288 00:30:40,973 --> 00:30:44,913 - Why didn't you tell me? - You're on your own. 289 00:30:44,977 --> 00:30:48,007 I'll see you guys later. 290 00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:54,520 I'm going to take my sub and my breast milk and get out of here. 291 00:30:54,586 --> 00:30:58,686 I've got something cold and wet in my shorts. 292 00:30:58,757 --> 00:31:03,627 Could you get somebody for me? Fellas? 293 00:31:03,695 --> 00:31:09,965 You guys are no help. I'm cold and wet and there's nothing I can do. 294 00:31:10,036 --> 00:31:14,806 It's okay, Mikey. Mommy's here. 295 00:31:17,076 --> 00:31:22,306 That Mommy person's here again She's okay. I like her. 296 00:31:25,784 --> 00:31:30,224 I start crying and she comes in with a bottle 297 00:31:30,289 --> 00:31:33,289 Crying, I can handle that. 298 00:32:14,666 --> 00:32:17,466 Taxi! 299 00:32:20,406 --> 00:32:23,676 Taxi! 300 00:32:46,232 --> 00:32:51,742 "80 * of all women experience post-partum depression." 301 00:32:51,803 --> 00:32:53,773 I won't. 302 00:32:56,908 --> 00:33:02,678 Like a lot of parents, I can't always be there on birthdays. 303 00:33:02,748 --> 00:33:08,648 Help, somebody burp me before I blow up. 304 00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:16,830 That's it! You have some exotic disease and I look like a zombie. 305 00:33:16,895 --> 00:33:22,025 And your father deserted us so he could pork his interior decorator. 306 00:33:22,101 --> 00:33:26,241 I think you can safely say that it can't get any worse. 307 00:33:26,305 --> 00:33:31,075 - Hello! - I was wrong. 308 00:33:31,143 --> 00:33:36,083 Where's my grandson? 309 00:33:36,148 --> 00:33:38,578 There he is. 310 00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:47,260 - Mikey, do you know who I am? - No, actually, I don't. 311 00:33:47,326 --> 00:33:52,056 - I'm your grandma. - Okay, if you say so. 312 00:33:52,131 --> 00:33:55,501 - Yes, I am. - What do you want from me? 313 00:33:59,771 --> 00:34:04,011 - Who's got a wet tushy? - I give up. 314 00:34:08,580 --> 00:34:12,980 After a new diaper, I like some of that white stuff on me 315 00:34:13,051 --> 00:34:18,021 If you had a man instead of a frozen pop, all this would be put together. 316 00:34:18,090 --> 00:34:23,130 You make it sound like I had an affair with a frozen dessert. 317 00:34:23,195 --> 00:34:26,965 - You look awful. - Thank you. 318 00:34:27,032 --> 00:34:30,142 You're using too much powder. 319 00:34:30,202 --> 00:34:36,382 Why don't you get out of the house? I'm going to give Mikey a bath 320 00:34:36,442 --> 00:34:38,912 A what? 321 00:34:43,682 --> 00:34:45,822 She's gone! 322 00:34:53,359 --> 00:34:57,359 Who would you want as your child's father? 323 00:34:57,429 --> 00:35:01,099 Someone with a small mouth and good hair... 324 00:35:01,167 --> 00:35:07,507 - A guy to help raise your child. - Are there men who do that? 325 00:35:07,573 --> 00:35:12,283 I'm looking for a guy who's not married, - 326 00:35:12,344 --> 00:35:17,324 - not into drugs, not a deadbeat, but not a workaholic. 327 00:35:17,383 --> 00:35:23,523 - And cute. - Cute is of no importance. 328 00:35:23,589 --> 00:35:26,289 You're my first date since my baby was born. 329 00:35:28,026 --> 00:35:31,596 This looks delicious. 330 00:35:31,663 --> 00:35:36,803 What is this? I asked for well done. This is raw. 331 00:35:36,868 --> 00:35:40,968 I asked for no dressing, this is covered with slop. 332 00:35:41,039 --> 00:35:46,849 Are you deaf or something? Who do I have to kill to get a roll? 333 00:35:46,912 --> 00:35:53,752 What's this "C" in algebra? How many times did we go over it? 334 00:35:55,754 --> 00:35:58,364 Are you an idiot? 335 00:35:58,424 --> 00:36:04,334 Dating is difficult, but you've got to take a chance in life sometime. 336 00:36:04,396 --> 00:36:08,426 I'm not so sure about that. Excuse me. 337 00:36:08,500 --> 00:36:14,470 This fork and this plate are dirty, and there's something in the water. 338 00:36:15,674 --> 00:36:18,484 Check your water. 339 00:36:18,544 --> 00:36:24,954 Mikey, what is this mess? Sort out these socks. 340 00:36:25,016 --> 00:36:29,386 Why are school shirts mixed up with after- school shirts? 341 00:36:29,455 --> 00:36:32,215 Straighten this up properly. 342 00:36:39,365 --> 00:36:42,125 - Hi. - Hey. 343 00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:46,940 - Somebody call for a cab? - Yeah, small world. 344 00:36:47,005 --> 00:36:51,305 More mail for Vincent Ubriacco I don't even know this guy. 345 00:36:51,377 --> 00:36:57,717 Let me have them. Put them up here, the postman will take care of them. 346 00:36:57,783 --> 00:37:04,063 - It's good seeing you again. - You, too. See you. 347 00:37:07,959 --> 00:37:12,229 - You're stealing my mail! - I'm not stealing your mail. 348 00:37:12,298 --> 00:37:16,098 - You put it in your pocket! - These are mine. 349 00:37:16,167 --> 00:37:21,407 - I sent them here. I'll explain. - I'm going to call the police 350 00:37:21,473 --> 00:37:25,543 My grandfather Vincent needs an old-age home - 351 00:37:25,611 --> 00:37:31,621 - and there's a place in Manhattan, but he needs to be a resident. 352 00:37:31,683 --> 00:37:34,753 You want to use my mailing address? 353 00:37:34,820 --> 00:37:40,490 I could have you arrested. Screwing with the mail is a federal offence. 354 00:37:40,559 --> 00:37:45,159 Stealing mail is, not screwing with it. 355 00:37:45,230 --> 00:37:50,600 - Can I get the other letters? - No, I don't want to get involved. 356 00:37:50,669 --> 00:37:55,369 I went out of my way to bring you back your purse. 357 00:37:55,441 --> 00:38:00,781 Thank you very much, but this happens to be illegal 358 00:38:00,846 --> 00:38:05,946 You're not going to get caught I'll do something for you, okay. 359 00:38:06,017 --> 00:38:10,957 - I'll baby-sit. - Come on... 360 00:38:11,022 --> 00:38:16,062 - You don't know about babies. - My sister has kids. 361 00:38:16,127 --> 00:38:20,797 - I know a lot about babies. - All right, Friday night. 362 00:38:20,866 --> 00:38:27,006 - No can do, Friday's out. - Then forget the whole deal. 363 00:38:27,072 --> 00:38:32,542 - Okay, Friday, but that's it. - And during my aerobics classes. 364 00:38:32,611 --> 00:38:35,851 - One aerobics class. - Saturday. 365 00:38:35,914 --> 00:38:38,354 Can't do. I teach. 366 00:38:38,417 --> 00:38:41,687 What do you teach? Taxi driver's ed? 367 00:38:41,753 --> 00:38:46,323 - That's not funny. - Here's the deal. 368 00:38:46,392 --> 00:38:51,702 Friday nights, two aerobics classes, and you can't bring chicks over. 369 00:38:51,763 --> 00:38:56,943 You're pushing it. All right, it's a deal. 370 00:38:57,002 --> 00:38:59,972 - Sucker. - Good. 371 00:39:00,038 --> 00:39:04,278 - don't force-feed him like that. - i'm not! 372 00:39:04,342 --> 00:39:09,582 - Why don't you take a nap? - He doesn't need a nap. 373 00:39:09,648 --> 00:39:14,088 - He knows when he's tired. - I'm not tired at all. 374 00:39:16,354 --> 00:39:19,934 If he doesn't take a nap - 375 00:39:19,991 --> 00:39:24,131 - he will wake up and want to eat when it's time to sleep 376 00:39:24,195 --> 00:39:28,495 - Who says? - All those doctors. 377 00:39:28,567 --> 00:39:33,337 - They just want to sell books - Dr. Spock is not like that. 378 00:39:33,405 --> 00:39:38,335 Dr. Spock loves us. He protested during the Vietnam war. 379 00:39:38,410 --> 00:39:42,550 I'm sorry I said anything about Dr. Spock. 380 00:39:42,614 --> 00:39:47,054 I can't believe she's getting upset about a Vulcan. 381 00:39:48,854 --> 00:39:55,394 - Have you got any other letters? - They're in the hallway. 382 00:40:08,173 --> 00:40:11,913 Mommy's asleep. Watch this. 383 00:40:41,372 --> 00:40:46,412 What do you say you and me take a ride so your mother can sleep? 384 00:40:46,478 --> 00:40:51,648 - Is that a deal? - Just bring the milk. 385 00:40:51,717 --> 00:40:55,847 See that? That's my cab. 386 00:40:55,921 --> 00:41:00,431 I do this to make money, but not for long. 387 00:41:04,329 --> 00:41:08,199 Okay, this is called driving. 388 00:41:08,266 --> 00:41:13,336 When you get older, I'll teach you how. 389 00:41:13,404 --> 00:41:18,084 First, you put the little stick in the hole. 390 00:41:18,143 --> 00:41:22,413 Then you move your foot back and forth. Okay, what next? 391 00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:25,350 You move the big circle around 392 00:41:25,416 --> 00:41:29,616 No problem, I can do this. I can drive. 393 00:41:50,576 --> 00:41:54,246 - Hey. - Hey, Jimmy. 394 00:41:54,312 --> 00:41:57,582 That silver plane is a VJ-10. 395 00:41:57,649 --> 00:42:00,549 That big plane is a Viscount. 396 00:42:01,987 --> 00:42:05,987 - Hey, Carrie. - What a sweetie. 397 00:42:06,057 --> 00:42:10,227 - Is it yours? - Yeah, but he needs a mother. 398 00:42:12,363 --> 00:42:16,573 I'm kidding. Is this my schedule? 399 00:42:16,635 --> 00:42:22,065 - There's nothing on it. - I'm sorry. 400 00:42:22,140 --> 00:42:26,980 Do these things come in different sizes? What are these, jumbos? 401 00:42:27,045 --> 00:42:32,175 - What are you staring at? - Lunch. 402 00:42:36,755 --> 00:42:39,555 Mikey? 403 00:42:41,793 --> 00:42:44,903 Mikey? 404 00:42:56,708 --> 00:43:01,748 I want to report a missing baby. 405 00:43:01,813 --> 00:43:06,423 Maybe he was kidnapped, or maybe he's with a complete idiot! 406 00:43:06,484 --> 00:43:09,454 Hey, Grandpa. 407 00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:12,120 That's Grandpa. 408 00:43:12,190 --> 00:43:15,160 Do I know you? 409 00:43:23,201 --> 00:43:26,571 - Jimmy! - Grandpa. 410 00:43:26,638 --> 00:43:31,738 - I don't remember your baby. - It's a friend of mine's. 411 00:43:31,810 --> 00:43:36,280 - You sure it isn't yours? - I've got more teeth than him 412 00:43:37,883 --> 00:43:42,253 What are those hairy jobs over your eyes? 413 00:43:42,320 --> 00:43:46,730 Let me see those things. There we go. How does that feel? 414 00:43:46,792 --> 00:43:51,602 - Mikey, lay off him. - What a crack-up. 415 00:43:52,998 --> 00:43:56,028 - Honey, I'm home. - Me, too. 416 00:43:56,101 --> 00:44:03,271 - Hey, you're up. - My baby! Honey, honey... 417 00:44:03,341 --> 00:44:06,341 Mommy and her baby... 418 00:44:08,079 --> 00:44:12,519 Idiot! I called the police. I was worried out of my mind. 419 00:44:12,583 --> 00:44:17,623 - You knew I was with him. - You might be a kidnapper. 420 00:44:17,689 --> 00:44:22,559 - I was baby-sitting for you. - That means the baby stays here! 421 00:44:24,029 --> 00:44:26,969 Damn it! I got a splinter. 422 00:44:27,032 --> 00:44:30,042 Let me see it. 423 00:44:30,101 --> 00:44:34,341 - Have you got a needle? - In there. 424 00:44:37,575 --> 00:44:40,245 Sit down. 425 00:44:41,980 --> 00:44:44,080 Oh, stop. 426 00:44:44,149 --> 00:44:48,519 If you don't hold still, I can't do this. It doesn't hurt. 427 00:44:48,586 --> 00:44:52,116 It hurts. Don't do it that way 428 00:44:52,190 --> 00:44:57,100 - You're poking me! - Hold still while I get it out. 429 00:44:57,162 --> 00:45:01,302 - It can't hurt that much. - How would you know? 430 00:45:01,366 --> 00:45:07,436 - Look at that. That's a big one. - I've never had one that big 431 00:45:11,376 --> 00:45:16,246 - All better. - Mikey needs a nap. 432 00:45:19,785 --> 00:45:23,515 Mikey, I've got to go. See you. 433 00:45:23,588 --> 00:45:31,428 Ready? High-five. Low-five. Baby-five. Bye. 434 00:45:31,496 --> 00:45:37,036 - Bye. - My little angel-head. 435 00:45:44,275 --> 00:45:48,805 - Mollie, who was that? - The babysitter. 436 00:45:48,880 --> 00:45:54,390 The babysitter? He's not the frozen pop, is he? 437 00:45:54,452 --> 00:45:58,222 - Ma! - All right, give me the baby. 438 00:47:08,593 --> 00:47:11,803 - Ma... - What? 439 00:47:13,231 --> 00:47:18,101 - You ever get bored with Daddy? 440 00:47:28,779 --> 00:47:30,319 - How can I get bored with Daddy? Mikey needs a father. 441 00:47:30,381 --> 00:47:32,781 - I just can't find the right guy. 442 00:47:32,850 --> 00:47:36,250 - Mikey will like whoever you like. 443 00:47:36,321 --> 00:47:40,331 - I don't like anybody. - You know what the secret is? 444 00:47:40,391 --> 00:47:43,361 Find someone you have something in common with, like Daddy and me. 445 00:47:46,397 --> 00:47:52,567 We both like to go to the movies. I know someone perfect for you 446 00:47:52,637 --> 00:48:00,977 He's in Daddy's firm. He's handsome and smart. You'll love him. 447 00:48:04,282 --> 00:48:07,222 Hello! Rosie didn't tell me you were beautiful. 448 00:48:07,285 --> 00:48:10,985 I'm surprised, that's usually the first thing she says. 449 00:48:11,056 --> 00:48:13,486 Come on in. 450 00:48:13,558 --> 00:48:19,658 This is my son Michael. I'll get dressed. Make yourself comfortable. 451 00:48:19,730 --> 00:48:23,800 - Hi, little guy. - Who's this yutz? 452 00:48:23,868 --> 00:48:28,138 Are you watching some TV? 453 00:48:28,206 --> 00:48:33,406 Don't touch that. I don't want to watch football 454 00:48:33,478 --> 00:48:37,818 Hey, it's the bear show. Look at that. 455 00:48:37,882 --> 00:48:43,592 - Leave it on football. - Leave it alone. 456 00:48:43,654 --> 00:48:47,664 - That guy's a good actor. - Cut it out. It's the play-offs! 457 00:48:51,896 --> 00:48:54,126 You dick. 458 00:48:57,902 --> 00:49:02,942 - Baby! Hot mama! - You're such a goofball. 459 00:49:03,008 --> 00:49:06,938 - Don't I look good? - You look slightly cute. 460 00:49:07,012 --> 00:49:11,922 - What are you all dressed up for? - I've got a hot date. 461 00:49:11,983 --> 00:49:15,723 You'd better call her. I'm going to be late. 462 00:49:15,786 --> 00:49:20,326 Yeah, right. You've got a date with an accountant. 9:30 tops. 463 00:49:20,391 --> 00:49:24,131 - Don't count on it. - Besides, my woman will wait. 464 00:49:24,195 --> 00:49:28,365 Harry, this is the babysitter. I'll just get my coat. 465 00:49:28,433 --> 00:49:31,503 - I'm just watching the game here. 466 00:49:31,569 --> 00:49:34,969 - Yeah, I've got money on this game. 467 00:49:35,040 --> 00:49:39,540 So you're an accountant? You and Mollie will get along great. 468 00:49:39,610 --> 00:49:44,120 - She's a CPA. - I know, her mom told me. 469 00:49:44,182 --> 00:49:48,652 It's got to be tough being a mom and a CPA. 470 00:49:48,719 --> 00:49:55,259 But Mollie is tough. She hates it when guys open doors for her - 471 00:49:55,326 --> 00:49:59,896 - or pick up the tab. It really pisses her off. 472 00:49:59,964 --> 00:50:04,704 - She's liberated? - Come on. A guy babysitter? 473 00:50:06,204 --> 00:50:11,384 Come here, Mikey. Say bye-bye to Mama. 474 00:50:11,442 --> 00:50:15,212 - Do this. - Jeez! 475 00:50:16,614 --> 00:50:18,984 Give it back. This is really embarrassing. 476 00:50:19,850 --> 00:50:23,320 May I just say one thing? 477 00:50:23,388 --> 00:50:26,858 - You look better without it. - I think so, too. 478 00:50:26,924 --> 00:50:29,664 - Sexy. - Yeah. 479 00:50:30,861 --> 00:50:35,931 - All right, I'll leave it off - Great. 480 00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:41,270 Bye-bye. See you. Mikey, high-five. 481 00:50:41,339 --> 00:50:44,879 - Yeah, all right. - Who was that clown? 482 00:50:48,879 --> 00:50:51,779 It was very uncomfortable. 483 00:50:51,849 --> 00:50:57,659 A kind of bloated, gassy... belchy sensation. 484 00:50:57,722 --> 00:51:02,792 I'd sit down in the bathroom.. and nothing would happen. 485 00:51:02,860 --> 00:51:05,760 Nothing would come out. 486 00:51:05,830 --> 00:51:11,070 I called my doctor about two.. 487 00:51:11,136 --> 00:51:14,406 ...three weeks after this started. 488 00:51:14,472 --> 00:51:20,882 He said I'd better come in and have an ultrasound. 489 00:51:20,945 --> 00:51:24,545 - What was I saying? - Ultrasound. 490 00:51:26,384 --> 00:51:31,064 So I went in for the ultrasound and they checked it out. 491 00:51:31,122 --> 00:51:36,332 It wasn't gallstones. They didn't know what it was. 492 00:51:36,394 --> 00:51:42,234 The doctor said I'd better have an upper G. I. So I went in again. 493 00:51:42,300 --> 00:51:47,100 - Have you ever had a barium enema? - Not recently. 494 00:51:47,172 --> 00:51:51,112 It's disgusting, but I did get to see my colon on TV. 495 00:51:51,176 --> 00:51:57,046 Is it true that colons look 10 pounds heavier on TV? 496 00:51:57,715 --> 00:51:59,645 How so? 497 00:52:04,222 --> 00:52:07,392 They never do that for me. 498 00:52:16,934 --> 00:52:21,014 Get on my knee. 499 00:52:27,645 --> 00:52:31,675 - Hold it. Okay. - Get down, Mikey. 500 00:52:37,722 --> 00:52:41,392 Yeah, I can do that. 501 00:52:42,693 --> 00:52:46,533 Let's walk. 502 00:52:50,601 --> 00:52:53,471 I'm dancing. I'm bad. 503 00:52:53,538 --> 00:52:56,808 - Check me out now. - Jump. 504 00:53:02,713 --> 00:53:05,883 Hey, can I get paid? 505 00:53:17,795 --> 00:53:20,695 Two, please. 506 00:53:25,536 --> 00:53:28,736 Are you ready? 507 00:53:32,443 --> 00:53:36,213 I'm gonna throw up, but I like it! 508 00:53:36,281 --> 00:53:39,281 Okay, shake it up. 509 00:53:40,885 --> 00:53:43,685 Right on. 510 00:53:46,457 --> 00:53:49,927 Ready? Shake it, Mikey. 511 00:53:51,562 --> 00:53:54,902 Let's go. 512 00:53:59,136 --> 00:54:01,306 Aeroplane. 513 00:54:02,840 --> 00:54:06,080 Mikey's a plane. Look at that boy. 514 00:54:06,143 --> 00:54:10,323 All right. 515 00:54:15,386 --> 00:54:18,486 Finally, I passed the stone. 516 00:54:18,556 --> 00:54:23,486 It's the most excruciating thing you can have, next to giving birth. 517 00:54:23,561 --> 00:54:27,131 - I had a really good time tonight. - I bet you did. 518 00:54:27,197 --> 00:54:34,137 A lot of guys would feel threatened by a woman always wanting to pay. 519 00:54:34,204 --> 00:54:37,584 - What? - Your babysitter told me. 520 00:54:37,642 --> 00:54:40,382 - He did, did he? - Yeah. 521 00:54:41,912 --> 00:54:45,422 - Come here. - No, I really have to go up. 522 00:54:45,483 --> 00:54:51,393 - Come on, Mollie, it's early. - Yeah, but I'm broke. 523 00:54:51,456 --> 00:54:53,956 Jerk. 524 00:54:59,296 --> 00:55:02,966 Shit! 525 00:55:16,280 --> 00:55:19,880 I'm home. 526 00:55:19,950 --> 00:55:24,760 You can go on your date now. 527 00:55:54,284 --> 00:55:58,064 - Hey, Mikey! - Sarah, how are you doing? 528 00:55:58,122 --> 00:56:01,092 - I want to talk to you. - Sorry, got to go. 529 00:56:05,496 --> 00:56:07,896 Right back at you, babe. 530 00:56:07,965 --> 00:56:15,565 - Hiya, Mickey. - Look at that hat. 531 00:56:15,640 --> 00:56:20,510 - Megan, good to see you. - Mikey, where've you been? 532 00:56:20,578 --> 00:56:24,848 - Did you get your hair cut? - Yeah, what do you think? 533 00:56:24,915 --> 00:56:28,715 I hate it. My mother did it herself. 534 00:56:28,786 --> 00:56:32,456 It looks great. 535 00:56:32,523 --> 00:56:35,593 I used to have curls at the end. 536 00:56:35,660 --> 00:56:39,560 - I remember. - I was the one with the cute curls. 537 00:56:39,630 --> 00:56:44,130 - Now they're gone. - You're still cute. 538 00:56:44,201 --> 00:56:48,911 - I look like a boy. No offence. - Nice talking to you. 539 00:56:57,948 --> 00:57:01,918 How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? 540 00:57:01,986 --> 00:57:07,586 - How many? - What's a light bulb? 541 00:57:09,326 --> 00:57:12,656 I don't get it. 542 00:57:12,730 --> 00:57:17,000 Where's she going? Who's that big guy? 543 00:57:17,067 --> 00:57:23,507 - Who is he? - That's okay. That's her daddy. 544 00:57:23,574 --> 00:57:27,414 What's a daddy? What do they do? 545 00:57:27,478 --> 00:57:33,218 The big men types who hang around with the mommies. 546 00:57:33,283 --> 00:57:36,793 I get it. Maybe I'll ask James to be my daddy. 547 00:57:45,295 --> 00:57:49,865 We 'll eat all the pudding now... 548 00:57:52,603 --> 00:57:56,973 - I still ain't eating it. - Yummy. 549 00:58:00,911 --> 00:58:04,621 All right, don't look at Mommy 550 00:58:18,428 --> 00:58:21,228 You've got to love her. 551 00:58:38,816 --> 00:58:42,286 Watch this, Mikey. 552 00:58:52,830 --> 00:58:57,600 - Now that's entertainment. - Not in front of Mikey. 553 00:58:59,637 --> 00:59:03,107 - Look at the look on his face - He looks like his father. 554 00:59:04,709 --> 00:59:06,639 You said you were artificially inseminated. 555 00:59:06,711 --> 00:59:11,651 i was, but i never make that face. i assume his father does. 556 00:59:11,716 --> 00:59:15,786 You know what I thought you'd enjoy doing today? 557 00:59:15,853 --> 00:59:21,533 - Go to my grandfather's new home. - You thought I'd enjoy that? 558 00:59:21,592 --> 00:59:27,002 Yeah, you'd enjoy it... Maybe you'd sign a few papers. 559 00:59:27,064 --> 00:59:31,704 You are such a baby. If you want me to do something, just ask. 560 00:59:31,769 --> 00:59:37,509 Would you please come with me to sign these papers? 561 00:59:37,574 --> 00:59:41,484 - That's how you handle a woman. - Really? 562 00:59:46,316 --> 00:59:50,416 You want to go to lunch at North Eastern Life lnsurance? 563 00:59:50,487 --> 00:59:54,657 - Employees get free lunches. - We'll get caught. 564 00:59:54,725 --> 00:59:58,725 I must know 20 ways to get a free lunch in this town. 565 00:59:58,796 --> 01:00:02,596 - You do this a lot? - Sure. 566 01:00:02,667 --> 01:00:08,967 I don't pay for L. D.'s, either. Long distance phone calls. 567 01:00:09,039 --> 01:00:12,109 I go up to a company receptionist. 568 01:00:12,176 --> 01:00:19,716 I pretend I'm a lost messenger and they let me use their phone. 569 01:00:19,784 --> 01:00:25,094 I wouldn't be driving this cab if I made more instructing. 570 01:00:25,155 --> 01:00:31,055 - What do flight instructors make? - If I hustle, about 1, 100... 571 01:00:31,128 --> 01:00:36,798 ...a month. But I get to accumulate air time. 572 01:00:40,470 --> 01:00:45,610 - Give me my bag! - He's not stealing our bags. 573 01:00:45,676 --> 01:00:49,676 - I've got my teeth in there. - They're coming with us. 574 01:00:49,747 --> 01:00:53,317 Tell him not to touch my teeth 575 01:00:57,587 --> 01:01:01,487 Welcome, gramps. 576 01:01:01,558 --> 01:01:06,758 - Are we stopping for a bite to eat? - No, this is your new place. 577 01:01:06,831 --> 01:01:10,741 - They got good shrimp here? - And lobster. 578 01:01:10,801 --> 01:01:14,441 This is it. Enjoy your stay. 579 01:01:14,504 --> 01:01:18,544 Grandpa, this is great. 580 01:01:18,608 --> 01:01:23,848 You've got a terrific view. No roommate to bug you. Television. 581 01:01:23,914 --> 01:01:26,824 Can I talk to you for a minute? 582 01:01:26,884 --> 01:01:32,264 He's got a sweet tooth. Give him one candy bar a day. 583 01:01:32,322 --> 01:01:38,502 - Just don't let him find the bag . - No problem. 584 01:01:39,396 --> 01:01:41,566 That smells good. 585 01:01:41,631 --> 01:01:47,811 - Grandpa, that smells good. - I'd like to see you eat it. 586 01:01:47,872 --> 01:01:50,442 Watch this. 587 01:01:52,877 --> 01:01:56,347 Let me try that. 588 01:01:59,583 --> 01:02:03,693 - What do you want? - Mollie helped us get this place. 589 01:02:03,754 --> 01:02:10,094 The woman has thousands more nerves in the sexual organs than the man. 590 01:02:10,160 --> 01:02:15,070 - I bet the kid's not even yours. - That's it! Be nice. 591 01:02:17,167 --> 01:02:22,107 He's worse at this than I am. Let me give you a hand. 592 01:02:24,208 --> 01:02:26,238 Come on, taste it. 593 01:02:26,310 --> 01:02:28,210 Open wide. 594 01:02:32,716 --> 01:02:35,216 - Thank you for helping me. - You're welcome. 595 01:02:35,285 --> 01:02:39,185 - You want to go flying? - That would be way too expensive. 596 01:02:39,256 --> 01:02:45,356 - Maintenance flights are free - You get everything for free. 597 01:02:45,429 --> 01:02:50,029 Free phone calls, free lunches... You're a scam artist. 598 01:02:50,100 --> 01:02:57,310 I've got the town wired. If we were poor, we'd still live like kings. 599 01:02:57,374 --> 01:03:01,154 - Fly with me. - I'm not that kind of person. 600 01:03:01,211 --> 01:03:06,751 - Come on. Are you scared? - No, I'm not scared! 601 01:03:06,817 --> 01:03:11,457 - Where are the parachutes? - There are no parachutes. 602 01:03:13,623 --> 01:03:19,103 Didn't you ever see "The Buddy Holly Story", "La Bamba"? 603 01:03:19,163 --> 01:03:24,503 There's one big difference. They were rock legends. You're not. 604 01:03:24,568 --> 01:03:28,538 - Is your wing smoking? - No... Oh, my God! 605 01:03:28,605 --> 01:03:33,435 - It was just a joke to relax you. - I'm just so nervous. 606 01:03:33,510 --> 01:03:36,410 I feel so out of control. 607 01:03:36,480 --> 01:03:42,420 I'll give you your first lesson. Put your hand on my stick. 608 01:03:42,486 --> 01:03:47,216 - I'm not touching your stick. - This is not a sexual thing. 609 01:03:47,291 --> 01:03:49,991 That feels good, baby. 610 01:03:50,060 --> 01:03:54,000 Get familiar with the stick. 611 01:03:54,064 --> 01:03:58,974 - There you go, you're flying. - I'm flying! 612 01:04:00,704 --> 01:04:06,644 I'm doing a good job. This is easy! What a good sensation! 613 01:04:06,710 --> 01:04:08,810 - It's like great sex, isn't it? 614 01:04:08,879 --> 01:04:12,579 - I personally wouldn't remember. 615 01:04:12,649 --> 01:04:17,149 - He's pretty tired. - He's had a busy day. 616 01:04:20,857 --> 01:04:26,257 - Do you want a drink? - Do you want to watch a movie? 617 01:05:23,053 --> 01:05:25,393 Stop it! 618 01:05:25,455 --> 01:05:29,825 Stop yelling or your father will give you something to yell about. 619 01:05:31,261 --> 01:05:32,661 Knock it off! 620 01:05:35,399 --> 01:05:39,869 Princess, you're making my mouth water. 621 01:05:39,936 --> 01:05:42,136 I'm hungry. 622 01:05:42,206 --> 01:05:48,176 Hold your horses, or I'll knock you from here to kingdom come. 623 01:05:48,245 --> 01:05:53,175 You know that dumpster behind the supermarket? Look what I found. 624 01:05:53,250 --> 01:05:59,020 A perfectly good head of lettuce, just peel off the outer layers 625 01:05:59,089 --> 01:06:05,529 Who wants a surprise? Could be lunch meat or peaches. 626 01:06:05,595 --> 01:06:11,335 The point is this: Just because it's free, don't mean it's no good. 627 01:06:11,401 --> 01:06:16,671 - Do we live like kings, or what? - We sure do. 628 01:06:27,017 --> 01:06:29,247 Again! 629 01:06:29,319 --> 01:06:32,389 Wait a minute. 630 01:06:32,456 --> 01:06:36,526 - I'm sorry, I really do want this. - I do, too. 631 01:06:36,593 --> 01:06:39,963 - It's Mikey. - He's asleep. 632 01:06:40,030 --> 01:06:46,700 I have to be very clear on the choices I make for him. 633 01:06:46,770 --> 01:06:53,810 I can't make any more mistakes that are going to hurt Mikey. 634 01:06:53,877 --> 01:06:59,477 - But I'm crazy about Mikey. - I know that I was leading you on. 635 01:06:59,549 --> 01:07:03,619 You're such a good kisser and I haven't had sex in a long time... 636 01:07:04,888 --> 01:07:10,358 Goodbye. Please... Goodbye. 637 01:07:10,427 --> 01:07:16,297 - Mollie, could I talk to you? - Hold just a minute, please. 638 01:07:16,366 --> 01:07:20,666 Just between you and me, what's with you and Chubby Charles? 639 01:07:21,405 --> 01:07:24,305 What do you mean? 640 01:07:24,374 --> 01:07:28,984 Pearlman's doing the bank recs Rubenstein's doing the quarterlies. 641 01:07:29,045 --> 01:07:33,575 Now Albert's returns are due. So what's with you? 642 01:07:33,650 --> 01:07:39,790 I traded Rubenstein two accounts for the Chubby Charles account. 643 01:07:39,856 --> 01:07:42,956 I can't do it anymore... It's personal. 644 01:07:46,296 --> 01:07:50,726 We're accountants... we're not personal. 645 01:07:50,800 --> 01:07:54,640 - I don't... - You've worked for him for years. 646 01:07:54,704 --> 01:07:56,814 Now, with all the new tax laws you desert him. 647 01:07:56,873 --> 01:08:02,013 - You don't understand... - I want you up there tomorrow 648 01:08:02,078 --> 01:08:06,718 Don't give me that look. And you, get back to work. 649 01:08:10,887 --> 01:08:16,487 Please, give me a second chance. This has been like a bad dream 650 01:08:16,560 --> 01:08:19,900 I felt so guilty leaving Beth and the girls. 651 01:08:19,963 --> 01:08:26,403 You've been such an asshole, I'd have to torture you. 652 01:08:27,504 --> 01:08:31,074 That's okay. I want you to. 653 01:08:31,141 --> 01:08:34,641 - Mollie, Mollie... - What? 654 01:08:34,711 --> 01:08:38,651 - I'll burst if I don't kiss you. - Tough! 655 01:08:43,119 --> 01:08:46,689 Albert can see you now. 656 01:08:52,462 --> 01:08:56,432 - Mollie, how's Mickey? - Mikey. 657 01:08:56,500 --> 01:08:59,500 - Is he talking yet? - No. 658 01:08:59,569 --> 01:09:03,439 Crawling? I remember Astrid crawling... 659 01:09:03,507 --> 01:09:07,177 I'm not interested in your stories. 660 01:09:07,244 --> 01:09:13,684 - I've been meaning to talk to you. - I'm here to do your taxes. 661 01:09:15,752 --> 01:09:19,662 Eyelash tinting, body wraps, facials... 662 01:09:19,723 --> 01:09:24,593 - You can't deduct any of this crap. - And the exercise instructor? 663 01:09:24,661 --> 01:09:27,561 Not unless she suffered any injury. 664 01:09:27,631 --> 01:09:31,771 What's the little woman been up to? 665 01:09:34,571 --> 01:09:38,981 Is Priscilla sick? These doctor bills are for her 666 01:09:39,042 --> 01:09:42,152 Therapy. Beth communicaes with the dead 667 01:09:42,212 --> 01:09:44,452 It really frightens Priscilla. 668 01:09:44,514 --> 01:09:50,354 We're all seeing a psychiatrist now. I've been learning a lot. 669 01:09:50,420 --> 01:09:55,160 - I'm happy for you, Albert. - I know you've been through a lot. 670 01:09:55,225 --> 01:10:00,955 You've got to believe I love you. I never meant for this to go bad. 671 01:10:01,030 --> 01:10:06,040 - It just turned out that way. - It took $20,000 to find that out? 672 01:10:07,504 --> 01:10:13,044 - Do you have a picture of Mickey? - Mikey! 673 01:10:13,109 --> 01:10:17,049 - I think about you two every day. - You'd never know it. 674 01:10:17,113 --> 01:10:20,723 I try to call, but I can't do it. 675 01:10:20,784 --> 01:10:25,394 I'm too ashamed. I'm afraid of what you'll say. 676 01:10:25,455 --> 01:10:28,925 I've been so confused. 677 01:10:40,904 --> 01:10:44,344 - He has my eyes. - I know. 678 01:10:44,408 --> 01:10:48,948 It's confusing loving someone who looks like someone you hate. 679 01:10:49,012 --> 01:10:51,252 Could I see him? 680 01:10:55,251 --> 01:10:59,491 All right. I'll be home this evening. 681 01:10:59,556 --> 01:11:04,556 Next time you talk to your mom put in a good word in for me. 682 01:11:04,628 --> 01:11:07,428 Hit me. Hit it again. 683 01:11:07,497 --> 01:11:10,667 - No... yeah? - Hit it again. 684 01:11:11,768 --> 01:11:17,168 - I know what I'm doing. - Damn! You won again. 685 01:11:17,240 --> 01:11:23,080 I told you I could play. I've been thinking about this daddy business. 686 01:11:23,146 --> 01:11:26,516 I want you to be my daddy. I'll tell Mommy. 687 01:11:28,818 --> 01:11:31,958 - Who is it? - Mollie? 688 01:11:36,192 --> 01:11:41,502 - Is Mollie here? - No, she's at aerobics class. 689 01:11:41,565 --> 01:11:46,135 - Is Mikey here? I'm his father. - His father? 690 01:11:46,202 --> 01:11:50,542 - Are you the sperm donor? - I'm the kid's father? 691 01:11:50,607 --> 01:11:57,147 - He's from artificial insemination. - I've known Mollie for years. 692 01:11:57,213 --> 01:12:01,553 - I have a key. - We're changing it. 693 01:12:01,618 --> 01:12:05,558 - What? - That's my kid in there. Let me by. 694 01:12:05,622 --> 01:12:09,432 If you are the father, answer me a few questions. 695 01:12:09,493 --> 01:12:14,303 - When was he born? - July third. 696 01:12:14,364 --> 01:12:17,974 What's his favourite toy, Fred or Barney? Fred? 697 01:12:18,034 --> 01:12:22,974 No, Barney. How many diapers does he go through a day? Six. 698 01:12:24,474 --> 01:12:28,954 - A father should know. - How much is she paying you? 699 01:12:29,012 --> 01:12:32,822 - Go play some video games. - Don't give me that shit. 700 01:12:34,718 --> 01:12:38,918 Come on, Dad. Let's go. 701 01:12:38,988 --> 01:12:42,928 Go for the body! 702 01:12:47,697 --> 01:12:51,397 Get out of here! 703 01:12:54,037 --> 01:12:57,967 Yes, that feels good. 704 01:13:04,648 --> 01:13:09,318 - What happened? - Who's Albert? 705 01:13:09,385 --> 01:13:13,785 - Why, was he here? - Is he Mikey's father? 706 01:13:15,825 --> 01:13:21,225 - You lied about the insemination. - He was married. 707 01:13:21,297 --> 01:13:26,067 Do you love him? 708 01:13:26,135 --> 01:13:29,565 - What? - Do you love him? 709 01:13:29,639 --> 01:13:33,209 I don't know who I love. 710 01:13:33,276 --> 01:13:37,846 The only thing that matters to me is who's best for Mikey. 711 01:13:37,914 --> 01:13:44,994 Albert is successful, responsible and he's good to his other kids. 712 01:13:45,054 --> 01:13:46,794 - I don't want him seeing Mikey. 713 01:13:46,856 --> 01:13:50,456 - Don't start pulling this on me. 714 01:13:52,529 --> 01:13:57,399 - He has a right to see his son. - Where has he been all year? 715 01:13:57,467 --> 01:14:03,007 - You are not his father. - I'm the closest thing he's got. 716 01:14:03,072 --> 01:14:06,582 Look at you. You're like a big kid. 717 01:14:06,643 --> 01:14:11,483 Are you responsible enough to be a father? 718 01:14:11,548 --> 01:14:15,118 Is getting pregnant by a married man responsible? 719 01:14:15,184 --> 01:14:17,954 - Stop it. - You stop it. 720 01:14:18,021 --> 01:14:23,931 I've seen you use Mikey to push guys away, and now you're doing it to me. 721 01:14:23,993 --> 01:14:28,063 - Get out! - I live here! 722 01:14:35,639 --> 01:14:39,779 Can a person past a certain age change? 723 01:14:39,843 --> 01:14:43,113 Daddy's lipids fell to 185. 724 01:14:43,179 --> 01:14:48,219 I'm not talking about cholesterol. Can someone become nicer? 725 01:14:49,085 --> 01:14:51,315 I don't know. 726 01:14:51,387 --> 01:14:57,127 When you met Daddy at that dance, did you know he'd be a good father? 727 01:14:57,193 --> 01:15:03,333 - I liked the look of his uniform. - They all wore uniforms. 728 01:15:03,399 --> 01:15:06,569 I didn't like the sailors' bell-bottoms. 729 01:15:06,636 --> 01:15:12,336 You had no idea if he was a mature responsible person. 730 01:15:12,408 --> 01:15:17,878 If I thought like that, we wouldn't have had so much fun the first week. 731 01:15:17,947 --> 01:15:23,187 You're grossing me out. Don't talk about sex and Daddy 732 01:15:24,420 --> 01:15:27,820 Hi, Lupe. 733 01:15:27,891 --> 01:15:32,161 I just want to talk to Mikey for a minute. 734 01:15:33,630 --> 01:15:37,400 Hey, Gerber-face, high-five. 735 01:15:40,704 --> 01:15:46,314 Look, Mikey... I don't know if I can keep coming to see you. 736 01:15:46,375 --> 01:15:49,675 - What's the matter? - It's your mom. 737 01:15:49,746 --> 01:15:54,276 She's got this crazy idea that I wouldn't make a good father. 738 01:15:57,053 --> 01:15:59,693 She probably wouldn't have picked my father, either. 739 01:15:59,756 --> 01:16:05,896 I think he did an okay job. Want to hear some fatherly advice? 740 01:16:07,797 --> 01:16:11,837 Hi, Lupe. 741 01:16:11,901 --> 01:16:18,711 - The man's in the baby's room - Okay, I'll write you a check 742 01:16:18,775 --> 01:16:24,705 He said, "Don't hit girls, even if they're asking for it." 743 01:16:25,414 --> 01:16:27,624 What about pushing them? 744 01:16:27,684 --> 01:16:36,194 He'd say, "Finish your meat, you know how much that cost?" 745 01:16:36,259 --> 01:16:41,829 The one that sticks out the most was probably... 746 01:16:41,898 --> 01:16:46,768 "lf your friend jumps off a bridge, does that mean you've got to?" 747 01:16:46,836 --> 01:16:53,276 To this very day, I still use that piece of advice. 748 01:16:55,745 --> 01:16:58,745 It doesn't amount to much. 749 01:16:58,815 --> 01:17:06,355 A good father keeps the mother happy so she doesn't drive the kids crazy. 750 01:17:06,422 --> 01:17:10,492 She called me a big kid... She's probably right. 751 01:17:10,559 --> 01:17:14,659 You're one year old and my best friend in the world. 752 01:17:14,731 --> 01:17:18,331 Anyway... 753 01:17:20,704 --> 01:17:25,074 - I'll miss you. - Don't be sad. Here, take this. 754 01:17:31,147 --> 01:17:37,517 - No, I want you to have it. - Okay, thanks. 755 01:17:37,586 --> 01:17:40,986 He'll take good care of you. 756 01:17:46,062 --> 01:17:47,662 - We're going to see Daddy today. 757 01:17:47,731 --> 01:17:51,071 - I was just thinking about James. 758 01:17:51,134 --> 01:17:57,114 - The blue or the lamb? - They both look pretty lame. 759 01:17:57,173 --> 01:18:00,913 - The lamb? - Not lamb, lame! 760 01:18:00,977 --> 01:18:05,407 Please don't make me wear clothes with animals on them. 761 01:18:05,481 --> 01:18:09,791 I don't like this. It makes me look stupid. 762 01:18:11,988 --> 01:18:17,288 - You look great. - I feel like a retard. 763 01:18:20,964 --> 01:18:23,734 Look at this room. Look at these guys. 764 01:18:23,800 --> 01:18:27,070 I bet I could take those apart. 765 01:18:27,136 --> 01:18:32,436 Little metal things... I'll stick them in those little holes. 766 01:18:33,676 --> 01:18:38,946 Mollie, hi. This must be Mikey 767 01:18:39,015 --> 01:18:44,045 Hiya, fella. What are you doing? 768 01:18:44,120 --> 01:18:48,320 - Aren't you a handsome... - Milk in the eye. 769 01:18:48,391 --> 01:18:50,661 Bull's-eye! 770 01:18:50,726 --> 01:18:55,656 It's all right. It's just milk, it won't stain 771 01:18:58,634 --> 01:19:04,774 - He's beautiful. He looks like you. - A lot of people say that. 772 01:19:04,841 --> 01:19:10,181 I know the circumstances you had him under were terrible. 773 01:19:10,246 --> 01:19:15,146 - But I know it wasn't a mistake. - I bet he's glad to hear that 774 01:19:15,218 --> 01:19:19,358 You will never escape me. 775 01:19:19,422 --> 01:19:23,232 - Mikey, don't do that! - What did I do? 776 01:19:26,629 --> 01:19:34,069 Some people don't have the strength to get out certain situations. 777 01:19:34,137 --> 01:19:36,837 What are you trying to say? Mikey, don't touch that. 778 01:19:36,906 --> 01:19:42,946 I'm saying I still love you and I still want you. 779 01:19:43,012 --> 01:19:48,992 - And what about Mikey? - Count on me. Whatever he needs. 780 01:19:50,019 --> 01:19:52,419 He needs a father. 781 01:19:54,223 --> 01:20:00,333 I'm living alone for the first time in 17 years. I'm in therapy. 782 01:20:00,396 --> 01:20:04,526 I can't be anybody's father now. I need to be by myself. 783 01:20:04,600 --> 01:20:09,910 - I've raised my kids. - Raised them? They're 11 and 9! 784 01:20:09,973 --> 01:20:14,813 - Have they moved out? - Too much fruit! 785 01:20:14,878 --> 01:20:19,278 It wouldn't be fair to Mikey. 786 01:20:19,348 --> 01:20:23,618 - Is he taking a dump? - No, he's thinking real hard. 787 01:20:26,655 --> 01:20:32,925 - I'll get you cleaned up. - Use the washroom in the back 788 01:20:32,996 --> 01:20:39,236 - He'll ask about his daddy. - I want James to be the daddy 789 01:20:39,302 --> 01:20:44,912 Don't do that here. That's a $10,000 desk! 790 01:20:44,974 --> 01:20:49,714 - Now it's junk! - I thought you'd understand. 791 01:20:49,778 --> 01:20:56,618 Of course I understand. You're going through a selfish phase. 792 01:20:56,685 --> 01:21:01,515 I know you will understand that I'm going through a destructive phase. 793 01:21:07,563 --> 01:21:10,373 Let's trash the place. 794 01:21:17,206 --> 01:21:20,736 I'm sorry about that stupid outfit. 795 01:21:20,809 --> 01:21:25,879 I'm sorry I made you meet that mean man. Never again. 796 01:21:25,949 --> 01:21:31,819 every time i take you someplace, people are crazy about you. 797 01:21:31,887 --> 01:21:38,257 Yet the person who has a genetic bond to you treats you like a jerk. 798 01:21:38,327 --> 01:21:42,267 Everybody loves you. All the kids at the playground. 799 01:21:42,331 --> 01:21:45,371 Ma loves you. Rona loves you. 800 01:21:45,434 --> 01:21:50,574 James loves you. Mikey, do you love James? 801 01:21:53,076 --> 01:21:58,446 - Give him a call. - Do you want to play telephone? 802 01:21:58,514 --> 01:22:01,384 Hello? 803 01:22:01,450 --> 01:22:06,390 It's for you. You take this one, I'll take the other one. 804 01:22:09,925 --> 01:22:13,455 This is Lou Franklin, I'm phoning about your grandfather. 805 01:22:13,529 --> 01:22:17,329 He's become abusive and violent. 806 01:22:17,400 --> 01:22:18,930 - Should I call Health & Welfare? 807 01:22:19,002 --> 01:22:22,812 - No, I'll come and pick him up. 808 01:22:34,750 --> 01:22:38,790 - What's going on? - I'm a hostage. 809 01:22:38,854 --> 01:22:40,524 He's a mean old bastard! 810 01:22:40,589 --> 01:22:44,789 - Look what he did to my arm? - Don't talk to him like that. 811 01:22:44,860 --> 01:22:48,630 - They're hiding Dora. - They are not. 812 01:22:48,697 --> 01:22:55,637 - Then where is she? - Sit down. I'll find her for you. 813 01:22:55,704 --> 01:23:01,914 Let's get your face cleaned up You want to look good for her. 814 01:23:01,977 --> 01:23:07,817 You're my favourite daughter-in-law. You're smart and a good person 815 01:23:07,883 --> 01:23:12,593 That's why Jimmy loves you so much. 816 01:23:15,658 --> 01:23:20,298 - There you go. - Let's go find James. 817 01:23:20,363 --> 01:23:24,333 I'll show you some pictures. 818 01:23:25,668 --> 01:23:30,438 Grandpa, did you eat all these candy bars today? 819 01:23:30,506 --> 01:23:34,906 - The bastards stole my candy. - We'll get some more. 820 01:23:34,977 --> 01:23:38,647 - Where's the director's office? - Down the hall. 821 01:23:38,714 --> 01:23:42,924 - We're busy. - I'll keep my eye on them for you. 822 01:23:42,985 --> 01:23:46,415 I'll be back in a minute. 823 01:23:50,193 --> 01:23:55,433 This isn't his usual behaviour My husband made arrangements. 824 01:23:55,498 --> 01:23:59,938 It isn't the orderly's responsibility to control his diet. 825 01:24:01,604 --> 01:24:03,274 He requires a private nurse. 826 01:24:03,339 --> 01:24:12,419 No, he doesn't. The orderly was told to give him one candy bar a day. 827 01:24:12,481 --> 01:24:16,621 - He said no problem. - That was Bill. 828 01:24:16,685 --> 01:24:22,085 Bill always says no problem. The man can't speak English. 829 01:24:23,926 --> 01:24:27,656 - So can Grandpa stay? - Of course. 830 01:24:27,730 --> 01:24:34,070 - Thank you. - Thanks for coming down so fast. 831 01:24:37,306 --> 01:24:41,406 - Hi. - Hi. 832 01:24:41,477 --> 01:24:47,217 - Your grandfather can stay. - You didn't have to do that. 833 01:24:47,283 --> 01:24:52,323 - I wanted to do it. - Let me give you a ride home. 834 01:24:52,388 --> 01:24:55,858 - Don't bother. - Fine! 835 01:24:55,924 --> 01:25:00,204 D.J., it's time for lunch. Let's go. 836 01:25:00,263 --> 01:25:04,403 - Are you okay with him? - Get the hell out of here. 837 01:25:06,402 --> 01:25:11,012 Steven and Paulie, they're your cousins. 838 01:25:12,608 --> 01:25:17,048 - Hi, Vince. - Hello, Esther. 839 01:25:21,850 --> 01:25:26,890 Esther... I'd like you to meet my grandson. 840 01:25:27,990 --> 01:25:31,460 Hey, there goes James. 841 01:25:31,527 --> 01:25:36,197 Where's he going? Maybe he's going downstairs. 842 01:25:36,265 --> 01:25:41,535 - They took me to the beauty salon. - Where's the elevator. 843 01:25:41,604 --> 01:25:44,774 Going down. 844 01:25:44,840 --> 01:25:48,380 I'll just press all these. 845 01:25:52,047 --> 01:25:56,617 Perfect! I'll just hitch a ride with the fruit cups. 846 01:25:59,322 --> 01:26:03,032 There we go. Take her away, boys. 847 01:26:03,959 --> 01:26:08,129 - Mikey. - Grandpa, where's Mikey? 848 01:26:08,197 --> 01:26:14,397 - He was just here. - How long ago did he leave? 849 01:26:14,470 --> 01:26:18,410 - I'll check the hallway. - I'm calling the police. 850 01:26:20,543 --> 01:26:23,583 Hi, toots. Anyone seen my dad? 851 01:26:23,646 --> 01:26:30,516 - That's lda's grandson. - Come on, I'm in a hurry. 852 01:26:30,586 --> 01:26:36,186 - Here, fella, go find your grandma. - Thanks for nothing. 853 01:26:36,259 --> 01:26:41,729 When the police get here, will you show them these pictures? 854 01:26:41,797 --> 01:26:44,897 All right, I'm on the case now. 855 01:26:48,804 --> 01:26:51,574 That is exactly what I need. 856 01:26:51,640 --> 01:26:56,350 I could find him in one of those. Let's see if I remember this. 857 01:26:56,412 --> 01:27:01,182 I'll set this thing down right here and get that door open. 858 01:27:03,586 --> 01:27:05,786 What was it James said? 859 01:27:05,854 --> 01:27:10,064 Stick this in here... There it goes. 860 01:27:10,125 --> 01:27:13,755 Move the circle around and we're off. 861 01:27:13,829 --> 01:27:16,129 Mikey! 862 01:27:16,198 --> 01:27:18,828 Mikey! 863 01:27:22,771 --> 01:27:27,441 - He's in the back of that car - Let's get the cab. 864 01:27:27,510 --> 01:27:31,080 - Hey! - Stop! 865 01:27:40,188 --> 01:27:43,258 I got this driving thing knocked. 866 01:27:48,497 --> 01:27:51,327 Move it! 867 01:27:53,369 --> 01:27:58,239 There he is. Look at me. Hey, James, I'm driving! 868 01:27:59,542 --> 01:28:05,812 James... where's he going? 869 01:28:10,152 --> 01:28:11,422 - What are you doing? - I'll cut him off. 870 01:28:11,487 --> 01:28:13,787 You'll lose him. 871 01:28:17,893 --> 01:28:21,733 I know this alley like the back of my hand. 872 01:28:37,480 --> 01:28:42,450 Mikey! He's gone! 873 01:28:42,518 --> 01:28:45,218 Mikey! 874 01:28:45,287 --> 01:28:50,557 - You had a little boy in there. - What are you talking about? 875 01:28:50,626 --> 01:28:53,426 He's about this big. 876 01:28:53,496 --> 01:28:58,166 - This is a good place to spot him. - Mikey! 877 01:28:58,233 --> 01:29:01,503 Mikey, stop! 878 01:29:01,570 --> 01:29:04,910 - James, is that you? - Mikey, don't move. 879 01:29:04,973 --> 01:29:08,343 James, Mommy... 880 01:29:09,344 --> 01:29:12,354 Here I come. 881 01:29:12,415 --> 01:29:15,745 - Mikey! - I'm coming. 882 01:29:26,629 --> 01:29:32,069 - Did you see what just happened? - Give me my baby. 883 01:29:34,503 --> 01:29:39,313 Are you all right, honey? Let me see you. 884 01:29:39,374 --> 01:29:42,554 He doesn't have a scratch on him. 885 01:29:42,611 --> 01:29:45,481 I finally got you both together. 886 01:29:45,548 --> 01:29:49,888 I better take him to the hospital anyway. 887 01:29:49,952 --> 01:29:54,062 Ma, I want James to be the daddy. 888 01:29:54,122 --> 01:29:58,432 - Thanks for all your help. - I'll take you home now. 889 01:30:00,529 --> 01:30:06,769 - Dada. - I think he called you Dada. 890 01:30:06,835 --> 01:30:09,395 No, I'm talking to hear myself speak. 891 01:30:09,472 --> 01:30:13,882 - He thinks you're his father. - I've spent a lot of time with him. 892 01:30:13,942 --> 01:30:18,182 He probably thinks we're going to end up together. 893 01:30:28,423 --> 01:30:32,063 I hope they don't get stuck together. 894 01:30:37,065 --> 01:30:41,665 Should I tell them I need a new diaper? 895 01:30:41,737 --> 01:30:43,707 No, I'll wait. 896 01:31:36,725 --> 01:31:41,055 - Hi, honey. - Mikey, this is your sister Julie. 897 01:31:41,129 --> 01:31:43,699 Say "Hi, Julie." 898 01:31:43,766 --> 01:31:48,936 Don't start with me, kid! I've had a day you wouldn't believe. 899 01:35:33,395 --> 01:35:37,525 English subtitles - IFT