1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:21,064 --> 00:00:25,416 [dramatic music] [typewriter clicking] 4 00:00:44,609 --> 00:00:46,742 [razor buzzing] 5 00:00:46,785 --> 00:00:49,745 [toilets flushing] 6 00:00:54,097 --> 00:00:56,882 [dramatic music] 7 00:01:08,981 --> 00:01:10,766 - [Man] Commander, it's Agent Beamish. 8 00:01:10,809 --> 00:01:11,636 - Verify. 9 00:01:13,334 --> 00:01:14,335 - It's him, sir. 10 00:01:14,378 --> 00:01:15,858 - [Commander] Activate the door. 11 00:01:15,901 --> 00:01:18,078 [beeping] 12 00:01:19,905 --> 00:01:20,906 - What's up, sir? 13 00:01:20,950 --> 00:01:22,038 - The fate of the world, 14 00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,735 the president's blood pressure and you! 15 00:01:23,779 --> 00:01:25,172 Sit down, sit down! 16 00:01:25,215 --> 00:01:28,697 - I have the president on security channel three, sir. 17 00:01:28,740 --> 00:01:30,916 [buzzing] 18 00:01:32,004 --> 00:01:33,702 - As most of you know, 19 00:01:33,745 --> 00:01:37,575 our foremost atmospheric physicist Dr. Marcus Hottentot 20 00:01:37,619 --> 00:01:39,925 achieved a remarkable breakthrough last week 21 00:01:39,969 --> 00:01:42,493 when he discovered the Hottentot formula, 22 00:01:42,537 --> 00:01:45,366 the key to global climate control. 23 00:01:45,409 --> 00:01:48,760 This past week, he disappeared. 24 00:01:48,804 --> 00:01:51,720 Today I learned the Hottentot formula is in the hands 25 00:01:51,763 --> 00:01:55,463 of a terrorist organization called KAOS. 26 00:01:55,506 --> 00:01:58,640 They have used our formula to create their own 27 00:01:58,683 --> 00:02:00,642 weather machine, which is capable-- 28 00:02:00,685 --> 00:02:02,122 - The president should be wearing an overcoat. 29 00:02:02,165 --> 00:02:03,601 - He's gonna freeze to death. 30 00:02:03,645 --> 00:02:04,950 - He should be in his office. 31 00:02:04,994 --> 00:02:08,519 - Just minutes ago, I was contacted by KAOS. 32 00:02:08,563 --> 00:02:10,086 - He is in his office. - Demanding we pay them 33 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:13,959 $250 billion in small bills within seven days. 34 00:02:15,744 --> 00:02:17,920 This added to our deficit problem 35 00:02:17,963 --> 00:02:20,836 makes the situation intolerable. 36 00:02:21,837 --> 00:02:26,450 KAOS must be destroyed before they destroy us. 37 00:02:26,494 --> 00:02:30,672 I put the fate of our nation in your capable hands. 38 00:02:33,675 --> 00:02:34,806 - What do we think? 39 00:02:34,850 --> 00:02:36,373 - I think this is just another snow job 40 00:02:36,417 --> 00:02:37,679 from the White House. 41 00:02:37,722 --> 00:02:40,116 Hottentot was a recluse, lived in his laboratory. 42 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:43,772 How did KAOS know about him, contact him? 43 00:02:44,773 --> 00:02:47,776 [door swooshes] 44 00:02:47,819 --> 00:02:51,736 - I strongly suspect we have a double agent in our midst. 45 00:02:51,780 --> 00:02:53,390 - Wait a minute, 46 00:02:53,434 --> 00:02:54,870 you mean it could be someone in our own organization? 47 00:02:54,913 --> 00:02:57,655 - Unfortunately, yes, and this presents a major problem. 48 00:02:57,699 --> 00:03:00,136 Who do I trust to head this operation? 49 00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:01,746 - If you're right, 50 00:03:01,790 --> 00:03:03,661 I suggest we find somebody outside the company. 51 00:03:03,705 --> 00:03:05,185 - I have just the fella. 52 00:03:05,228 --> 00:03:06,490 Now what was his name? 53 00:03:06,534 --> 00:03:08,623 He worked for us years ago at Control. 54 00:03:08,666 --> 00:03:10,625 That was an agency we created back in the '60s 55 00:03:10,668 --> 00:03:14,194 to deal exclusively with the evil organization KAOS. 56 00:03:14,237 --> 00:03:17,849 I can see him, beady eyes, weird voice. 57 00:03:17,893 --> 00:03:19,590 Maxwell Smart. 58 00:03:19,634 --> 00:03:21,636 - Well, let's see if he's still active. 59 00:03:21,679 --> 00:03:23,203 Run a check, Williams. 60 00:03:23,246 --> 00:03:26,118 [keys clicking] 61 00:03:26,162 --> 00:03:28,860 - Maxwell Smart, currently serving as a protocol officer 62 00:03:28,904 --> 00:03:31,776 for the State Department, substituting for senior officials 63 00:03:31,820 --> 00:03:34,039 who want to avoid functions such as ship christenings, 64 00:03:34,083 --> 00:03:35,824 weddings, funerals, circumcision. 65 00:03:35,867 --> 00:03:36,955 - Good, he's still with us. 66 00:03:36,999 --> 00:03:38,653 - How can we reach Smart now? 67 00:03:38,696 --> 00:03:40,524 [beeps] 68 00:03:40,568 --> 00:03:41,830 - He has a shoe phone, sir. 69 00:03:41,873 --> 00:03:43,484 - A shoe phone? 70 00:03:43,527 --> 00:03:45,225 - In those days, shoe phones were standard issue 71 00:03:45,268 --> 00:03:47,096 for all Control agents, let's call him. 72 00:03:47,139 --> 00:03:51,622 - Merriweather, Control was phased out almost 20 years ago. 73 00:03:51,666 --> 00:03:54,582 It's inconceivable to me that anybody in his right mind 74 00:03:54,625 --> 00:03:57,759 would still be wearing his phone. 75 00:03:57,802 --> 00:03:59,587 Oh, well, give it a try. 76 00:03:59,630 --> 00:04:01,241 Get Smart. 77 00:04:01,284 --> 00:04:04,722 [playful solemn music] 78 00:04:07,203 --> 00:04:09,684 [phone rings] 79 00:04:11,599 --> 00:04:13,253 - What? - What? 80 00:04:13,296 --> 00:04:17,605 [phone rings] [soft muttering] 81 00:04:22,784 --> 00:04:25,656 - Gentlemen, I'm afraid you're going to have to carry on 82 00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:26,614 without me. 83 00:04:27,658 --> 00:04:29,791 [groans] 84 00:04:29,834 --> 00:04:31,227 [thuds] 85 00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,098 [phone rings] [yells] 86 00:04:33,142 --> 00:04:37,277 [playful dramatic music] [yelling] 87 00:04:38,713 --> 00:04:40,671 Sorry about that. 88 00:04:40,715 --> 00:04:44,675 [phone rings] [playful dramatic music] 89 00:04:52,683 --> 00:04:55,643 This is Maxwell Smart, Agent 86 speaking. 90 00:04:55,686 --> 00:04:56,948 - This is Commander Drury, 91 00:04:56,992 --> 00:04:59,734 head of the United States Intelligence Agency. 92 00:04:59,777 --> 00:05:02,780 This is the single most important telephone call 93 00:05:02,824 --> 00:05:05,217 you will ever receive. 94 00:05:05,261 --> 00:05:07,089 The fate of the world depends upon you. 95 00:05:07,132 --> 00:05:09,221 - Could you hold that thought for a second, sir? 96 00:05:09,265 --> 00:05:10,571 [yelling] 97 00:05:10,614 --> 00:05:12,050 Someone's coming. 98 00:05:12,094 --> 00:05:14,226 [yelling] 99 00:05:15,140 --> 00:05:17,578 - He put the world on hold. 100 00:05:20,276 --> 00:05:21,930 [thuds] 101 00:05:21,973 --> 00:05:23,932 - Sorry, Commander, you were saying? 102 00:05:23,975 --> 00:05:26,238 - This is the single most important telephone call 103 00:05:26,282 --> 00:05:27,805 you will ever receive. 104 00:05:27,849 --> 00:05:30,634 The fate of the civilized world depends upon you. 105 00:05:30,678 --> 00:05:32,767 - What about our side, sir? 106 00:05:32,810 --> 00:05:36,161 - Smart, I want, what was that noise? 107 00:05:36,205 --> 00:05:37,641 Could my phone be bugged? 108 00:05:37,685 --> 00:05:39,817 - Could be my phone, I have shoe waiting. 109 00:05:39,861 --> 00:05:43,821 I'll get back to ya. [phone rings] 110 00:05:46,607 --> 00:05:47,782 Hello, 99. - Max! 111 00:05:47,825 --> 00:05:48,826 - I have some very exciting news for you, 112 00:05:48,870 --> 00:05:50,132 but I'm gonna have to call ya back, 113 00:05:50,175 --> 00:05:52,177 because I'm on my other shoe. 114 00:05:52,221 --> 00:05:53,831 Commander, go ahead. 115 00:05:53,875 --> 00:05:56,094 - Smart, I think it would be immeasurably easier 116 00:05:56,138 --> 00:05:57,661 if I tell you in person. 117 00:05:57,705 --> 00:05:59,750 [rumbling] 118 00:06:00,969 --> 00:06:02,753 - Could you speak a little louder, sir? 119 00:06:02,797 --> 00:06:05,103 They're throwing dirt in my grave. 120 00:06:05,147 --> 00:06:06,714 - They're throwing dirt in your? 121 00:06:06,757 --> 00:06:08,672 You handle this. 122 00:06:08,716 --> 00:06:10,152 - Smart, Lambert here. 123 00:06:10,195 --> 00:06:13,242 The commander wants you to report to, 124 00:06:13,285 --> 00:06:14,112 hello? 125 00:06:14,983 --> 00:06:16,288 He's not answering. 126 00:06:16,332 --> 00:06:17,812 - His phone's out of order, sir. 127 00:06:17,855 --> 00:06:20,380 - Well, try his other shoe. 128 00:06:20,423 --> 00:06:21,946 I can't believe I said that. 129 00:06:21,990 --> 00:06:23,774 - It's unlisted, Commander. 130 00:06:23,818 --> 00:06:25,820 - He's bound to contact us, sir. 131 00:06:25,863 --> 00:06:27,691 - He doesn't know where we are. 132 00:06:27,735 --> 00:06:29,214 - In all probability, 133 00:06:29,258 --> 00:06:31,216 he'll report to the old Control secret headquarters. 134 00:06:31,260 --> 00:06:32,783 - Good, where's that? 135 00:06:32,827 --> 00:06:35,873 - I don't know, it was a well kept secret. 136 00:06:35,917 --> 00:06:39,268 [playful dramatic music] 137 00:07:44,507 --> 00:07:45,769 [swooshing] 138 00:07:45,813 --> 00:07:48,206 [clattering] 139 00:07:51,862 --> 00:07:52,472 - Yes. 140 00:07:54,735 --> 00:07:55,779 - I think I like it. 141 00:07:55,823 --> 00:07:57,259 - I like it, too. 142 00:07:57,302 --> 00:08:00,392 - But I'm not sure about America's most glamorous spy. 143 00:08:00,436 --> 00:08:03,483 - Oh, well, of course it's hard for you to be objective. 144 00:08:03,526 --> 00:08:06,398 I'm convinced that we've got a bestseller in the making, 145 00:08:06,442 --> 00:08:07,791 if we can get-- 146 00:08:07,835 --> 00:08:09,706 - Me to finish the book. 147 00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:11,360 I seem to have three problems with writing: 148 00:08:11,403 --> 00:08:13,057 how to start a sentence, how to continue it, 149 00:08:13,101 --> 00:08:14,711 and how to finish it. 150 00:08:14,755 --> 00:08:15,495 - Oh, nonsense, everyone thinks you're doing 151 00:08:15,538 --> 00:08:16,887 a marvelous job. 152 00:08:16,931 --> 00:08:18,410 - Everyone? 153 00:08:18,454 --> 00:08:20,456 I thought my manuscript was being kept top secret. 154 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:23,067 - It is, no one's read it except Nick, 155 00:08:23,111 --> 00:08:25,722 my assistants Allison and Claudia, Chuck, and myself. 156 00:08:25,766 --> 00:08:27,811 - Well, please don't let anyone else see it. 157 00:08:27,855 --> 00:08:29,987 Some of this material may still be classified, 158 00:08:30,031 --> 00:08:32,381 and until we get it cleared, I'm a little apprehensive. 159 00:08:32,424 --> 00:08:34,122 - Oh, well, of course, 160 00:08:34,165 --> 00:08:35,340 of course. [beeping] 161 00:08:35,384 --> 00:08:36,994 Oh, afraid I'm gonna have to run along. 162 00:08:37,038 --> 00:08:38,126 I've got a lunch date. 163 00:08:38,169 --> 00:08:39,823 We'll see you soon, 164 00:08:39,867 --> 00:08:42,130 with the new pages, I hope. 165 00:08:42,173 --> 00:08:43,958 [phone rings] 166 00:08:44,001 --> 00:08:45,220 - Lisa. 167 00:08:45,263 --> 00:08:46,264 - Mr. Smart is here. - Oh, by all means, 168 00:08:46,308 --> 00:08:47,831 send him in. 169 00:08:47,875 --> 00:08:48,528 Your husband's here. 170 00:08:48,571 --> 00:08:49,529 - Max here? 171 00:08:49,572 --> 00:08:50,878 I wonder why. 172 00:08:52,096 --> 00:08:54,838 - 99, I've got some very exciting news for you. 173 00:08:54,882 --> 00:08:56,361 I got a call on my shoe phone. 174 00:08:56,405 --> 00:08:59,451 I may be reactivated, and I want you to give me your, 175 00:08:59,495 --> 00:09:00,322 oh, hello. 176 00:09:01,105 --> 00:09:03,325 - Max, this is Lisa Spencer my editor. 177 00:09:03,368 --> 00:09:04,239 - Oh, how do you do? 178 00:09:04,282 --> 00:09:05,457 Nice to meet you. 179 00:09:05,501 --> 00:09:06,894 - Oh, Mr. Smart, this is a great honor. 180 00:09:06,937 --> 00:09:08,243 I've been reading all about you. 181 00:09:08,286 --> 00:09:10,854 You are quite a remarkable man. 182 00:09:10,898 --> 00:09:12,421 - Yes. 183 00:09:12,464 --> 00:09:14,858 - And congratulations on being reactivated. 184 00:09:14,902 --> 00:09:18,775 - Ah, well, that's not official, my being reactivated. 185 00:09:18,819 --> 00:09:21,473 - Look, you two wanna talk, I've got an early lunch. 186 00:09:21,517 --> 00:09:22,910 Why not use my office? 187 00:09:22,953 --> 00:09:23,954 - You're sure it'll be all right? 188 00:09:23,998 --> 00:09:25,521 - Oh, of course. 189 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,175 Your wife's book's gonna be a best seller, don't you think? 190 00:09:27,218 --> 00:09:28,829 - Well, I certainly hope so. 191 00:09:28,872 --> 00:09:30,787 I'm looking forward to reading it. 192 00:09:30,831 --> 00:09:31,875 - You haven't read it yet? 193 00:09:31,919 --> 00:09:33,573 - We agreed there could be a conflict. 194 00:09:33,616 --> 00:09:36,097 - I'm planning on writing my memoirs. 195 00:09:36,140 --> 00:09:38,926 - Make sure you bring them to us. 196 00:09:40,231 --> 00:09:41,885 - Who called you on your shoe, Max? 197 00:09:41,929 --> 00:09:43,365 - Commander Drury, 198 00:09:43,408 --> 00:09:45,541 head of the United States Intelligence Agency. 199 00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:46,977 - What did he say? 200 00:09:47,021 --> 00:09:48,588 - That the fate of the world was in my hands. 201 00:09:48,631 --> 00:09:50,024 You know, the usual. 202 00:09:50,067 --> 00:09:51,591 Anyway, I'm supposed to report immediately. 203 00:09:51,634 --> 00:09:52,504 - [99] Where? 204 00:09:52,548 --> 00:09:53,897 - Well, I can't tell you that. 205 00:09:53,941 --> 00:09:55,072 - Is it a secret? 206 00:09:55,116 --> 00:09:56,857 - I have no secrets from you, 99, 207 00:09:56,900 --> 00:09:58,423 it's just that my shoe phone was demolished 208 00:09:58,467 --> 00:10:00,338 before I could complete the call, 209 00:10:00,382 --> 00:10:01,818 and I didn't know where to go, 210 00:10:01,862 --> 00:10:03,994 and then when I went over to Control headquarters, 211 00:10:04,038 --> 00:10:05,561 I found it was abandoned. 212 00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:07,258 - Oh, maybe it's just as well, Max. 213 00:10:07,302 --> 00:10:09,478 You've been out of the spy business for a long time, 214 00:10:09,521 --> 00:10:11,915 and being an agent is very taxing. 215 00:10:11,959 --> 00:10:13,569 Are you sure you can handle it? 216 00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,179 - Handle it, handle it? 217 00:10:15,223 --> 00:10:16,572 Are you kidding me, 99? 218 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,443 I'm in the best shape of my life, look at me, 219 00:10:18,487 --> 00:10:20,620 physically and mentally I'm at my peak. 220 00:10:20,663 --> 00:10:21,621 I have the eyes of an eagle. 221 00:10:21,664 --> 00:10:23,361 I have the reflexes of a leopard. 222 00:10:23,405 --> 00:10:24,188 I have [gasps] 223 00:10:24,232 --> 00:10:25,450 [clattering] 224 00:10:25,494 --> 00:10:28,279 the beginning of a very bad hernia. 225 00:10:28,323 --> 00:10:29,846 [clattering] 226 00:10:29,890 --> 00:10:33,241 - Max, why don't we try the yellow pages? 227 00:10:33,284 --> 00:10:34,634 - The yellow pages? 228 00:10:34,677 --> 00:10:36,287 - Sure, they list government agencies. 229 00:10:36,331 --> 00:10:37,854 - Don't be ridiculous, 99. 230 00:10:37,898 --> 00:10:39,508 The United States Intelligence Agency 231 00:10:39,551 --> 00:10:41,205 may be a part of the government, 232 00:10:41,249 --> 00:10:43,468 but it's a clandestine organization. 233 00:10:43,512 --> 00:10:45,470 It deserves total security. 234 00:10:45,514 --> 00:10:46,558 It's top secret. 235 00:10:46,602 --> 00:10:48,473 It's undercover. 236 00:10:48,517 --> 00:10:49,649 It's 555-3931. 237 00:10:54,697 --> 00:10:56,307 - It's Smart, sir. 238 00:10:56,351 --> 00:10:58,266 - [Drury] Bring him in. 239 00:11:00,703 --> 00:11:02,662 [thuds] 240 00:11:04,272 --> 00:11:07,318 - Commander Drury, Maxwell Smart reporting for duty. 241 00:11:07,362 --> 00:11:10,017 [door swooshes] 242 00:11:13,020 --> 00:11:14,543 [door swooshes] 243 00:11:14,586 --> 00:11:18,590 - Yeah, well, Smart, I want an honest evaluation. 244 00:11:18,634 --> 00:11:20,592 Are you in good enough physical condition 245 00:11:20,636 --> 00:11:23,639 to return to active duty as a counterintelligence agent? 246 00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,510 You appear to be in pretty good shape. 247 00:11:25,554 --> 00:11:26,598 Do you work out? 248 00:11:26,642 --> 00:11:29,514 - Commander, I jog 100 miles every day. 249 00:11:29,558 --> 00:11:31,168 Would you believe it, 100 miles? 250 00:11:31,212 --> 00:11:32,996 - I find that hard to believe. 251 00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:34,476 - Would you believe 50? 252 00:11:34,519 --> 00:11:35,651 - No. 253 00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:38,698 - How 'bout two push-ups and deep breath? 254 00:11:38,741 --> 00:11:41,352 - Sit down, sit down, Smart. 255 00:11:41,396 --> 00:11:43,137 This is Major Waterhouse. 256 00:11:43,180 --> 00:11:43,964 - Major. 257 00:11:44,007 --> 00:11:45,095 [glass shatters] 258 00:11:45,139 --> 00:11:46,401 Sorry about that. 259 00:11:46,444 --> 00:11:50,318 - Now, Smart, I want your personal guarantee 260 00:11:50,361 --> 00:11:53,538 that you are physically capable of handling this assignment. 261 00:11:53,582 --> 00:11:56,280 - Sir, my vision is 20/20. 262 00:11:56,324 --> 00:11:58,935 My pulse is 90 beats per minute. 263 00:11:58,979 --> 00:12:01,590 My blood pressure is 120 over 70, 264 00:12:01,633 --> 00:12:03,635 and I have the same waistline I had 265 00:12:03,679 --> 00:12:05,637 when I was three years old. 266 00:12:05,681 --> 00:12:07,988 Yeah, I was a fat kid. 267 00:12:08,031 --> 00:12:10,425 [glass shatters] 268 00:12:10,468 --> 00:12:11,513 How 'bout a refill? 269 00:12:11,556 --> 00:12:13,167 - No. 270 00:12:13,210 --> 00:12:16,561 - Now, Smart, what I'm about to tell you is top secret. 271 00:12:17,649 --> 00:12:19,303 - Well, if it's top secret, sir, 272 00:12:19,347 --> 00:12:22,263 then we should use the cone of silence. 273 00:12:22,306 --> 00:12:23,090 - The what? 274 00:12:23,133 --> 00:12:24,526 - The cone of silence, 275 00:12:24,569 --> 00:12:26,963 it's an obsolete anti-bugging device. 276 00:12:27,007 --> 00:12:28,530 - Well, it's not really obsolete, sir. 277 00:12:28,573 --> 00:12:31,054 As a matter of fact, I bought one 278 00:12:31,098 --> 00:12:34,057 at the Control garage sale, it's hanging over my bed. 279 00:12:34,101 --> 00:12:35,145 - Over your bed? 280 00:12:35,189 --> 00:12:36,973 - I talk in my sleep. 281 00:12:37,017 --> 00:12:40,194 - No cone of silence, this office is secure. 282 00:12:40,237 --> 00:12:43,632 - Well, sir, the manual clearly states, 283 00:12:43,675 --> 00:12:46,548 Major, I'm going to cross my legs. 284 00:12:46,591 --> 00:12:48,071 - Thank you. 285 00:12:48,115 --> 00:12:49,943 - The manual clearly states 286 00:12:49,986 --> 00:12:52,075 that if you're having a top-secret conference, 287 00:12:52,119 --> 00:12:54,991 you should be using an anti-bugging device. 288 00:12:55,035 --> 00:12:56,079 - Where's our manual? 289 00:12:56,123 --> 00:12:56,732 - It's on the shelf. 290 00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:57,602 - I'll get it. 291 00:12:57,646 --> 00:13:01,781 [thuds] [liquid sloshes] 292 00:13:04,261 --> 00:13:05,959 Here's the manual. 293 00:13:06,002 --> 00:13:09,745 Unfortunately, someone spilled coffee on it. 294 00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,791 [thuds] 295 00:13:13,705 --> 00:13:16,143 Major, can I borrow your handkerchief? 296 00:13:16,186 --> 00:13:17,666 - Use your own handkerchief. 297 00:13:17,709 --> 00:13:20,538 - Well, mine is filled with tea from my last meeting. 298 00:13:20,582 --> 00:13:23,498 - We don't need the manual. 299 00:13:23,541 --> 00:13:24,978 Unfortunately, Smart is right. 300 00:13:25,021 --> 00:13:27,589 In the case of an E-1 emergency, and this certainly is one, 301 00:13:27,632 --> 00:13:29,243 we have to use hover cover. 302 00:13:29,286 --> 00:13:30,679 - Hover cover! 303 00:13:30,722 --> 00:13:34,552 Of course, hover cover, it's vital we use hover cover. 304 00:13:34,596 --> 00:13:37,120 Gentlemen, it is my unqualified opinion 305 00:13:37,164 --> 00:13:40,558 that we cannot do without hover cover. 306 00:13:40,602 --> 00:13:42,517 Just one question. 307 00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:44,214 What is hover cover? 308 00:13:44,258 --> 00:13:47,174 [helicopters whir] 309 00:13:54,398 --> 00:13:57,227 - Smart, KAOS is back in business. 310 00:13:58,228 --> 00:14:00,230 [yells] - [Smart] What? 311 00:14:00,274 --> 00:14:03,625 - He says KAOS is back in business! 312 00:14:03,668 --> 00:14:04,495 - What? 313 00:14:05,540 --> 00:14:09,718 [helicopters whir] [yelling] 314 00:14:12,242 --> 00:14:17,117 - KAOS has a machine that can destroy all life on earth. 315 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:18,640 - Sounds serious. 316 00:14:18,683 --> 00:14:20,816 What kind of a machine? 317 00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:22,818 [helicopters whir] [yells] 318 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,341 What did he say? 319 00:14:26,169 --> 00:14:28,432 - He said this is going nowhere. 320 00:14:28,476 --> 00:14:31,653 I have no idea what that means. 321 00:14:31,696 --> 00:14:35,657 [helicopters whir] [yells] 322 00:14:36,701 --> 00:14:38,573 Lose the choppers! 323 00:14:38,616 --> 00:14:39,617 - What? 324 00:14:39,661 --> 00:14:42,751 - Lose the choppers, get rid of them! 325 00:14:42,794 --> 00:14:46,581 [helicopters whir] 326 00:14:46,624 --> 00:14:50,106 Now, Smart, I want you to listen to me, 327 00:14:50,150 --> 00:14:53,240 because I'm going to say what I have to say once 328 00:14:53,283 --> 00:14:54,458 and only once. 329 00:14:54,502 --> 00:14:57,505 One, KAOS has a weather machine. 330 00:14:57,548 --> 00:15:00,856 It is capable of changing the world as we know it. 331 00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,597 - Changing the world as we know it, 332 00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:04,773 that's a very hopeful sign, sir. 333 00:15:04,816 --> 00:15:08,385 - Two, they can produce acid rain, destroy our crops 334 00:15:08,429 --> 00:15:10,605 and pollute our water. 335 00:15:10,648 --> 00:15:14,174 - You mean they can do that better than we're doing it now? 336 00:15:14,217 --> 00:15:18,352 - Three, there is a mole in our organization 337 00:15:18,395 --> 00:15:20,702 and he turned Dr. Hottentop. 338 00:15:20,745 --> 00:15:21,746 - Into what? 339 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:24,314 - If I may, 340 00:15:25,272 --> 00:15:26,708 Hottentot's a traitor. 341 00:15:26,751 --> 00:15:28,275 - I find that hard to believe. 342 00:15:28,318 --> 00:15:29,493 Why would he defect? 343 00:15:29,537 --> 00:15:30,886 It doesn't make any sense. 344 00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:33,628 - He sold his formula to KAOS for a million dollars. 345 00:15:33,671 --> 00:15:35,499 How you make ask do we know that? 346 00:15:35,543 --> 00:15:37,284 - I wouldn't ask that. 347 00:15:37,327 --> 00:15:39,242 - We know that because in the last hour 348 00:15:39,286 --> 00:15:40,852 one of our surveillance teams intercepted him 349 00:15:40,896 --> 00:15:42,550 trying to get out of the country. 350 00:15:42,593 --> 00:15:44,247 Hottentot got away, 351 00:15:44,291 --> 00:15:46,554 but we do have all nine pounds of his wallet. 352 00:15:46,597 --> 00:15:48,556 - Well, it just doesn't make any sense. 353 00:15:48,599 --> 00:15:50,862 Hottentot was never interested in money, 354 00:15:50,906 --> 00:15:52,690 and besides that we have nothing to worry about, 355 00:15:52,734 --> 00:15:54,518 because his formula never worked. 356 00:15:54,562 --> 00:15:55,737 - It does now. 357 00:15:57,391 --> 00:16:00,437 - Smart, your mission is to locate and infiltrate KAOS, 358 00:16:00,481 --> 00:16:02,831 eliminate the madman behind this heinous plot, 359 00:16:02,874 --> 00:16:05,399 and destroy their diabolical machine. 360 00:16:05,442 --> 00:16:06,704 - How much time do I have? 361 00:16:06,748 --> 00:16:08,706 - Until midnight the 23rd. 362 00:16:10,317 --> 00:16:11,579 - Six days! 363 00:16:11,622 --> 00:16:12,841 Are you kidding? 364 00:16:12,884 --> 00:16:15,539 That's ridiculous, I can't do this in six days! 365 00:16:15,583 --> 00:16:16,801 - Smart, that's seven days. 366 00:16:16,845 --> 00:16:18,542 - Oh, okay. 367 00:16:18,586 --> 00:16:20,544 - Is there anything else you need from us? 368 00:16:20,588 --> 00:16:22,285 - Well, I'd like to reactivate Control 369 00:16:22,329 --> 00:16:23,504 and get my old team back. 370 00:16:23,547 --> 00:16:24,940 - Granted, if they're still around. 371 00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,942 - I'd also like to look in the Hottentot files. 372 00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:29,379 There may be something in there that I can use. 373 00:16:29,423 --> 00:16:32,426 - Our records are warehoused at 9042743rd Street. 374 00:16:32,469 --> 00:16:33,383 You got that? 375 00:16:33,427 --> 00:16:36,430 - Everything but the address. 376 00:16:36,473 --> 00:16:40,651 - 9042743rd Street, my aid Beamish will meet you there. 377 00:16:42,653 --> 00:16:46,657 Now, Smart, remember, KAOS will do everything 378 00:16:46,701 --> 00:16:48,964 in its power to try and stop you. 379 00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:51,619 You'll be in imminent danger and constant jeopardy, 380 00:16:51,662 --> 00:16:53,969 facing death at every turn. 381 00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:55,536 - And loving it. 382 00:16:58,930 --> 00:17:00,541 - Let's get outta here. 383 00:17:00,584 --> 00:17:01,846 No! 384 00:17:01,890 --> 00:17:03,500 I don't wanna go through that again. 385 00:17:03,544 --> 00:17:04,762 We'll take a cab. 386 00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:08,636 [helicopters whir] 387 00:17:09,637 --> 00:17:11,639 - So long fellas! - No! 388 00:17:11,682 --> 00:17:13,597 [helicopters whir] 389 00:17:13,641 --> 00:17:14,468 Oh no! 390 00:17:17,297 --> 00:17:21,475 [helicopters whir] [dramatic horn music] 391 00:17:22,780 --> 00:17:25,957 - Mr. Smart, I just wanna say that working with you 392 00:17:26,001 --> 00:17:27,481 is the highlight of my career. 393 00:17:27,524 --> 00:17:28,830 - Well, thank you, Beamish. 394 00:17:28,873 --> 00:17:30,353 How long have you been with the agency? 395 00:17:30,397 --> 00:17:31,746 - Three days. 396 00:17:31,789 --> 00:17:35,663 Mr. Smart, what's the secret of your success? 397 00:17:35,706 --> 00:17:38,840 - Constant vigilance, razor-sharp instincts, 398 00:17:38,883 --> 00:17:40,842 and hold it. [creaking] 399 00:17:40,885 --> 00:17:43,540 [tense music] 400 00:17:46,674 --> 00:17:49,198 Freeze! - Or your garbage! 401 00:17:49,242 --> 00:17:50,634 - Or your garbage? 402 00:17:50,678 --> 00:17:51,853 - I heard it in a movie. 403 00:17:51,896 --> 00:17:53,898 [door clicks] 404 00:17:53,942 --> 00:17:55,987 [tense music] 405 00:17:56,031 --> 00:17:58,338 [clicking] 406 00:17:58,381 --> 00:17:59,513 [tense music] 407 00:17:59,556 --> 00:18:01,689 [gun bangs] 408 00:18:01,732 --> 00:18:04,387 [tense music] 409 00:18:04,431 --> 00:18:06,650 - Okay, closet's clear. 410 00:18:06,694 --> 00:18:10,959 - I've gotta remember that, check all closets. 411 00:18:11,002 --> 00:18:13,309 Here's the latest in security devices, 412 00:18:13,353 --> 00:18:15,006 the finger-identification panel. 413 00:18:15,050 --> 00:18:18,923 If your fingerprint doesn't match the one on file, 414 00:18:18,967 --> 00:18:20,621 the door doesn't open. 415 00:18:20,664 --> 00:18:24,451 - Then I guess it's important to bring the right fingers. 416 00:18:25,713 --> 00:18:26,496 [beeps] 417 00:18:26,540 --> 00:18:28,542 [thuds] 418 00:18:31,893 --> 00:18:33,721 How many agents do ya have on file? 419 00:18:33,764 --> 00:18:35,505 - About a million if you count the freelancers 420 00:18:35,549 --> 00:18:37,028 and the temps. 421 00:18:37,072 --> 00:18:38,508 - [Smart] Where do they keep the old Control files? 422 00:18:38,552 --> 00:18:40,554 - [Beamish] Down here. 423 00:18:42,512 --> 00:18:43,557 - How do these things work? 424 00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:45,515 - Well, they're electronically sealed. 425 00:18:45,559 --> 00:18:47,648 You have to use a remote control, 426 00:18:47,691 --> 00:18:49,867 which doesn't seem to be working. 427 00:18:49,911 --> 00:18:51,565 [clanging] 428 00:18:51,608 --> 00:18:52,435 - It's working. 429 00:18:52,479 --> 00:18:53,262 - Sorry. 430 00:18:53,306 --> 00:18:55,003 [clangs] [groans] 431 00:18:55,046 --> 00:18:57,571 I'm sorry, I pushed the wrong button. 432 00:18:57,614 --> 00:18:58,615 You okay? 433 00:18:58,659 --> 00:19:00,051 - Yes. 434 00:19:00,095 --> 00:19:02,053 [beeps] 435 00:19:02,097 --> 00:19:02,924 13! 436 00:19:03,925 --> 00:19:04,839 - Max! 437 00:19:04,882 --> 00:19:06,623 I was just dreaming about you. 438 00:19:06,667 --> 00:19:08,843 - And I was just talking about you. 439 00:19:08,886 --> 00:19:10,627 Where have you been keeping yourself? 440 00:19:10,671 --> 00:19:14,370 - Oh, here and there, it's just part-time spying now. 441 00:19:14,414 --> 00:19:16,372 Two weeks in a toilet in Toledo, 442 00:19:16,416 --> 00:19:18,069 a voodoo drum in Haiti. 443 00:19:18,113 --> 00:19:20,550 That was kind of fun, like a vacation. 444 00:19:20,594 --> 00:19:21,595 What's new, Max? 445 00:19:21,638 --> 00:19:23,640 - KAOS is back in business. 446 00:19:23,684 --> 00:19:25,425 - Does that mean we're back in business, too? 447 00:19:25,468 --> 00:19:27,818 - Well, if I can find Hymie and Larrabee. 448 00:19:27,862 --> 00:19:29,820 - Well, if these files are correct, 449 00:19:29,864 --> 00:19:31,387 Hymie should be working for 450 00:19:31,431 --> 00:19:33,433 the National Car Testing Institute. 451 00:19:33,476 --> 00:19:36,392 - The National Car Testing Institute, what's he doing? 452 00:19:36,436 --> 00:19:37,785 - He's a crash dummy. 453 00:19:37,828 --> 00:19:39,352 And Larrabee, he should still be over 454 00:19:39,395 --> 00:19:40,744 at the old Control building. 455 00:19:40,788 --> 00:19:41,963 - But that's impossible. 456 00:19:42,006 --> 00:19:44,574 That building is empty, it's been condemned. 457 00:19:44,618 --> 00:19:45,836 - Well, that's strange. 458 00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:47,708 - Well, so is Larrabee. 459 00:19:47,751 --> 00:19:50,101 - What about 99, is she on the team, too? 460 00:19:50,145 --> 00:19:51,581 - Of course, we're having lunch, 461 00:19:51,625 --> 00:19:53,104 I'm gonna tell her about it. 462 00:19:53,148 --> 00:19:56,107 - Max, what's our assignment, find Hottentot? 463 00:19:56,151 --> 00:19:58,414 - 13, how did you know that? 464 00:19:58,458 --> 00:20:00,677 - I've still got my contacts, Max. 465 00:20:00,721 --> 00:20:04,551 I've got a friend inside the White House, really inside. 466 00:20:04,594 --> 00:20:06,683 She's in the plumbing. 467 00:20:06,727 --> 00:20:09,338 Now, what's KAOS's latest demand? 468 00:20:09,382 --> 00:20:11,558 - Well, they threatened to destroy the world 469 00:20:11,601 --> 00:20:14,778 unless we pay them $250 billion. 470 00:20:14,822 --> 00:20:16,606 - Why is it always us? 471 00:20:16,650 --> 00:20:18,956 Why does America have to always foot the bill? 472 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:20,697 I mean, where are our allies? 473 00:20:20,741 --> 00:20:22,351 You'd think we'd hear from Japan. 474 00:20:22,395 --> 00:20:23,047 - We did. 475 00:20:23,091 --> 00:20:23,874 - Oh? 476 00:20:23,918 --> 00:20:25,702 - They sent a 100 bucks. 477 00:20:25,746 --> 00:20:26,964 - Mr. Smart! 478 00:20:27,008 --> 00:20:28,575 - I'll be with you in a minute, Beamish. 479 00:20:28,618 --> 00:20:29,837 13, find Hottentot. 480 00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:32,143 [swooshes] 481 00:20:34,668 --> 00:20:37,366 - Mr. Smart, the Hottentot file is missing. 482 00:20:37,410 --> 00:20:39,629 - Now is not the time to panic, Beamish. 483 00:20:39,673 --> 00:20:40,978 It's probably been misfiled. 484 00:20:41,022 --> 00:20:42,632 Look under M for Marcus. 485 00:20:42,676 --> 00:20:44,504 - Right, right. 486 00:20:44,547 --> 00:20:45,983 No, no, it's not here. 487 00:20:46,027 --> 00:20:47,071 - Now we panic. 488 00:20:47,115 --> 00:20:48,551 - What are we? 489 00:20:48,595 --> 00:20:49,683 Oh, here it is. 490 00:20:51,162 --> 00:20:55,123 Sorry, I lost my cool, I was sure it was taken by KAOS. 491 00:20:56,559 --> 00:20:58,648 Mr. Smart, do you have any idea who the double agent 492 00:20:58,692 --> 00:21:00,171 could be? 493 00:21:00,215 --> 00:21:02,652 - Well, Beamish, I'm sorry to say it could be anybody. 494 00:21:02,696 --> 00:21:05,655 It could be the commander, it could be me, it could be you. 495 00:21:05,699 --> 00:21:06,874 - [Man] Don't move. 496 00:21:06,917 --> 00:21:08,484 - It could be him. 497 00:21:08,528 --> 00:21:09,529 - Turn around, face the files, put your hands on top, 498 00:21:09,572 --> 00:21:10,834 and spread your legs. 499 00:21:10,878 --> 00:21:13,881 - Turn around and face the file, put your hand. 500 00:21:13,924 --> 00:21:15,796 What was that part about the legs? 501 00:21:15,839 --> 00:21:17,058 - Move! 502 00:21:17,101 --> 00:21:18,494 - [Smart] Move, don't move, make up your mind. 503 00:21:18,538 --> 00:21:20,757 I got another job, fella. 504 00:21:20,801 --> 00:21:22,193 - Okay, by the numbers this time, 505 00:21:22,237 --> 00:21:23,891 or you're dead meat, Smart. 506 00:21:23,934 --> 00:21:26,502 Turn and face the files, put your hands on top, 507 00:21:26,546 --> 00:21:27,938 spread your legs. 508 00:21:27,982 --> 00:21:31,202 [tense music] 509 00:21:31,246 --> 00:21:32,465 - Hi-yah! 510 00:21:32,508 --> 00:21:34,510 [sharp thudding] 511 00:21:34,554 --> 00:21:36,556 - Where's the Hottentot file? 512 00:21:36,599 --> 00:21:37,818 - Right this way. 513 00:21:39,559 --> 00:21:40,690 [clanging] 514 00:21:40,734 --> 00:21:43,519 [tense music] 515 00:21:43,563 --> 00:21:44,955 [clanging] [groans] 516 00:21:44,999 --> 00:21:47,697 [tense music] 517 00:21:47,741 --> 00:21:49,612 [clanging] [groans] 518 00:21:49,656 --> 00:21:51,962 [tense music] 519 00:21:53,094 --> 00:21:55,139 [thudding] 520 00:21:55,183 --> 00:21:57,794 [tense music] 521 00:21:57,838 --> 00:21:59,970 [clanging] 522 00:22:00,014 --> 00:22:02,233 [tense music] 523 00:22:02,277 --> 00:22:03,234 - Goodnight. 524 00:22:03,278 --> 00:22:04,801 [thuds] [groans] 525 00:22:04,845 --> 00:22:07,717 [clanging] 526 00:22:07,761 --> 00:22:09,545 - Mr. Smart, you know who that is? 527 00:22:09,589 --> 00:22:10,633 - No, who? 528 00:22:10,677 --> 00:22:12,592 - Bronski, KAOS's number one killer. 529 00:22:12,635 --> 00:22:13,549 - Number one? 530 00:22:13,593 --> 00:22:15,116 I thought he was number nine. 531 00:22:15,159 --> 00:22:17,510 - No, the new ratings are out, and he went right to the top. 532 00:22:17,553 --> 00:22:18,685 - Well, that's ridiculous. 533 00:22:18,728 --> 00:22:21,209 KAOS has better killers than Bronski. 534 00:22:21,252 --> 00:22:22,558 - It's not how good you are, 535 00:22:22,602 --> 00:22:24,168 it's where you stand in the ratings. 536 00:22:24,212 --> 00:22:25,735 [dramatic music] 537 00:22:25,779 --> 00:22:29,957 - How can we tell our leader, our new leader, 538 00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:33,569 that we did not the Hottentot papers? 539 00:22:33,613 --> 00:22:35,092 He will want to know what happened. 540 00:22:35,136 --> 00:22:37,573 I will want to know what happened. 541 00:22:37,617 --> 00:22:40,141 In 10 words or less, what happened? 542 00:22:40,184 --> 00:22:41,838 - I don't know. 543 00:22:41,882 --> 00:22:46,060 - Well, at least that's less than 10 words, you nitwit! 544 00:22:47,235 --> 00:22:49,019 - Perhaps he can tell us, Siegfried. 545 00:22:49,063 --> 00:22:52,022 - Well, why don't you bring him in? 546 00:22:52,066 --> 00:22:55,069 [suspenseful music] 547 00:22:56,679 --> 00:22:57,941 All right, Major, what happened? 548 00:22:57,985 --> 00:23:00,944 Why do we not have the Hottentot papers? 549 00:23:00,988 --> 00:23:02,119 - Uh. 550 00:23:02,163 --> 00:23:03,947 - We don't uh here! 551 00:23:03,991 --> 00:23:05,906 [phone rings] 552 00:23:05,949 --> 00:23:07,647 - Siegfried's office. 553 00:23:07,690 --> 00:23:08,735 Yes, sir! 554 00:23:10,084 --> 00:23:11,738 Siegfried, it's our new leader. 555 00:23:11,781 --> 00:23:14,305 He wants to know what happened. 556 00:23:14,349 --> 00:23:15,263 - Uh. 557 00:23:15,306 --> 00:23:16,830 - [Leader] We don't uh here! 558 00:23:16,873 --> 00:23:18,309 What happened? - That is precisely what we 559 00:23:18,353 --> 00:23:20,137 are trying to find out, sir. 560 00:23:20,181 --> 00:23:23,097 - Find out. - Yeah, the major is here now. 561 00:23:23,140 --> 00:23:25,578 - The agent I sent to get the papers was an incompetent. 562 00:23:25,621 --> 00:23:26,535 - Do you hear that, sir? 563 00:23:26,579 --> 00:23:27,667 - [Leader] Yes, what happened? 564 00:23:27,710 --> 00:23:28,624 - Yeah. 565 00:23:28,668 --> 00:23:30,670 Did Control capture our agent. 566 00:23:30,713 --> 00:23:31,714 - Yes. 567 00:23:31,758 --> 00:23:33,063 - Ah, then he'll talk. 568 00:23:33,107 --> 00:23:36,197 - No, he won't, I killed him 20 minutes ago. 569 00:23:36,240 --> 00:23:38,286 - Did you hear the good news, sir? 570 00:23:38,329 --> 00:23:39,809 - Smart. - Smart? 571 00:23:39,853 --> 00:23:42,638 Don't worry about Maxwell Smart, we will take care of him. 572 00:23:42,682 --> 00:23:44,031 - [Leader] You better not fail. 573 00:23:44,074 --> 00:23:45,641 - We will not fail this time. 574 00:23:45,685 --> 00:23:47,338 We are finished with blunders and bloops. 575 00:23:47,382 --> 00:23:48,862 - [Leader] I hope so, 576 00:23:48,905 --> 00:23:50,298 for your sake, carry on. [speaks foreign language] 577 00:23:50,341 --> 00:23:55,042 [speaks foreign language] [boots click] 578 00:23:55,085 --> 00:23:55,999 - Shtarker. 579 00:23:56,043 --> 00:23:57,174 - Yeah? 580 00:23:57,218 --> 00:23:59,350 - Oh, I need something for my stomach. 581 00:23:59,394 --> 00:24:01,178 - [speaks foreign language] Cummerbund? 582 00:24:01,222 --> 00:24:03,224 - Idiot, for the inside. 583 00:24:05,052 --> 00:24:07,620 - Siegfried, I've never seen you so upset. 584 00:24:07,663 --> 00:24:11,667 - I'm two years away from retiring, and out of nowhere 585 00:24:11,711 --> 00:24:14,801 KAOS is taken over by a corporate trader, a crazy man. 586 00:24:14,844 --> 00:24:16,237 Oh, the pressure, 587 00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:18,369 you have no idea what the pressure is like. 588 00:24:18,413 --> 00:24:21,024 I've got headaches, high blood pressure, insomnia. 589 00:24:21,068 --> 00:24:23,984 I'm a capitalist casualty, a merger victim. 590 00:24:24,027 --> 00:24:25,855 - You don't have to worry about Smart. 591 00:24:25,899 --> 00:24:26,682 - Why not? 592 00:24:26,726 --> 00:24:27,770 - He's as good as dead. 593 00:24:27,814 --> 00:24:29,685 - What makes you so sure? 594 00:24:29,729 --> 00:24:31,165 - The more you know about a man, 595 00:24:31,208 --> 00:24:32,645 the easier it is to kill him. 596 00:24:32,688 --> 00:24:35,169 The material you gave me to read was invaluable. 597 00:24:35,212 --> 00:24:37,040 Where'd you get such a complete biography? 598 00:24:37,084 --> 00:24:39,129 - That is no concern of yours. 599 00:24:39,173 --> 00:24:41,697 - Well, my compliments to whoever wrote it. 600 00:24:41,741 --> 00:24:43,917 I know everything there is to know about smart, 601 00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:46,833 his way of life, his patterns, his habits. 602 00:24:46,876 --> 00:24:49,183 If I choose, I can become like him, act like him, 603 00:24:49,226 --> 00:24:50,706 even think like him. 604 00:24:50,750 --> 00:24:53,056 - That I would not advice. 605 00:24:53,100 --> 00:24:56,799 What I would advise is for you to kill Maxwell Smart 606 00:24:56,843 --> 00:24:59,236 before he puts his team together. 607 00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:00,629 - You don't have to worry about that. 608 00:25:00,673 --> 00:25:02,239 If he does that, I'll kill 'em all. 609 00:25:02,283 --> 00:25:03,458 - All right, but remember, 610 00:25:03,502 --> 00:25:06,853 make sure you give us the group rate, yeah? 611 00:25:06,896 --> 00:25:07,767 Good. 612 00:25:07,810 --> 00:25:09,290 [dramatic music] 613 00:25:09,333 --> 00:25:11,727 [clattering] 614 00:25:22,825 --> 00:25:25,349 [birds chirp] 615 00:25:26,699 --> 00:25:27,351 - Max! 616 00:25:29,876 --> 00:25:31,878 [thuds] 617 00:25:34,707 --> 00:25:36,099 Max, great to see you again. 618 00:25:36,143 --> 00:25:37,057 Are you okay? 619 00:25:37,100 --> 00:25:38,275 - Well, I think so, Hymie. 620 00:25:38,319 --> 00:25:39,712 What was that all about? 621 00:25:39,755 --> 00:25:41,148 - You forgot, the last time we were together, 622 00:25:41,191 --> 00:25:43,759 you said that I hope we run into each other real soon. 623 00:25:43,803 --> 00:25:46,719 - Oh, Hymie, you robots always take everything so literally. 624 00:25:46,762 --> 00:25:49,025 That was just an idiomatic expression. 625 00:25:49,069 --> 00:25:51,375 - I'm not familiar with that phrase, Max. 626 00:25:51,419 --> 00:25:52,246 - Skip it. 627 00:25:53,203 --> 00:25:54,727 Stop it, Hymie. 628 00:25:54,770 --> 00:25:56,990 Sometimes you could drive a person up a wall. 629 00:25:57,033 --> 00:25:58,861 Don't do it, Hymie! 630 00:25:58,905 --> 00:26:01,081 We need you to come back to work for Control. 631 00:26:01,124 --> 00:26:02,865 - Sure, when you need me you come around, 632 00:26:02,909 --> 00:26:04,475 otherwise I never hear from you. 633 00:26:04,519 --> 00:26:07,087 It really hurts, Max, I'm not made of stone, you know? 634 00:26:07,130 --> 00:26:08,697 [thudding] - I'm sorry, Hymie. 635 00:26:08,741 --> 00:26:10,264 - Sorry, you always say you're sorry. 636 00:26:10,307 --> 00:26:11,961 You never write, you never call. 637 00:26:12,005 --> 00:26:13,484 You missed all my birthdays. 638 00:26:13,528 --> 00:26:15,704 I'm never invited to your club and you know why? 639 00:26:15,748 --> 00:26:18,489 I'll tell you why, because they don't allow my kind in there 640 00:26:18,533 --> 00:26:19,403 that's why. 641 00:26:19,447 --> 00:26:20,448 - That's ridiculous, Hymie. 642 00:26:20,491 --> 00:26:22,711 We have a cybernaut in my club. 643 00:26:22,755 --> 00:26:24,408 - Sure, token robot. 644 00:26:24,452 --> 00:26:26,280 What's this all about, Max? 645 00:26:26,323 --> 00:26:27,890 - KAOS is back in business. 646 00:26:27,934 --> 00:26:31,285 - KAOS, Max, I'd really love to work with you again, 647 00:26:31,328 --> 00:26:33,243 but I'm not programmed for spying anymore. 648 00:26:33,287 --> 00:26:34,854 I only do crashes. 649 00:26:34,897 --> 00:26:36,725 - Well, I'm sure we can work something out 650 00:26:36,769 --> 00:26:38,292 if we just put our heads together. 651 00:26:38,335 --> 00:26:40,816 No! [thuds] 652 00:26:40,860 --> 00:26:43,732 Hymie, I think we'd be a lot less conspicuous 653 00:26:43,776 --> 00:26:45,473 if you'd get in the car. 654 00:26:45,516 --> 00:26:48,432 - If I get in the car, I have to crash it. 655 00:26:48,476 --> 00:26:50,347 - Well, what do ya think? 656 00:26:50,391 --> 00:26:52,045 - Nothing in this dossier to indicate 657 00:26:52,088 --> 00:26:54,047 why Hottentot would defect. 658 00:26:54,090 --> 00:26:55,483 - That's what I thought. 659 00:26:55,526 --> 00:26:56,876 Do you think there's something about him we don't know? 660 00:26:56,919 --> 00:26:59,226 - I doubt it, the man was a loner. 661 00:26:59,269 --> 00:27:00,662 He lived for his work. 662 00:27:00,706 --> 00:27:03,839 The only person he was close to was another scientist. 663 00:27:03,883 --> 00:27:05,101 - I missed that, who? 664 00:27:05,145 --> 00:27:06,363 - Dr. Denton. 665 00:27:06,407 --> 00:27:08,452 I think we're there, Max. 666 00:27:10,585 --> 00:27:13,980 - Looks like we've got company. 667 00:27:14,023 --> 00:27:15,459 - Smart is stopping. 668 00:27:15,503 --> 00:27:16,809 Should I park? 669 00:27:16,852 --> 00:27:18,027 Wait a minute. 670 00:27:19,899 --> 00:27:21,161 He isn't. 671 00:27:21,204 --> 00:27:23,380 He just passed up a parking space. 672 00:27:23,424 --> 00:27:25,295 He's going from meter to meter. 673 00:27:25,339 --> 00:27:26,209 Why? 674 00:27:26,253 --> 00:27:27,384 - It's because he's cheap. 675 00:27:27,428 --> 00:27:30,561 He's looking for a meter with time on it. 676 00:27:32,607 --> 00:27:35,479 - Now he's parking in a red zone. 677 00:27:35,523 --> 00:27:39,005 [light suspenseful music] 678 00:28:09,426 --> 00:28:10,993 They headed for the old Control building. 679 00:28:11,037 --> 00:28:12,255 - That's perfect. 680 00:28:12,299 --> 00:28:13,648 It's deserted, it's a great place to kill him. 681 00:28:13,692 --> 00:28:14,649 - Yeah. 682 00:28:14,693 --> 00:28:18,174 [light suspenseful music] 683 00:28:26,356 --> 00:28:28,141 [beeping] 684 00:28:28,184 --> 00:28:29,708 - Definitely trouble. 685 00:28:35,104 --> 00:28:36,671 I've gotta talk to 13. 686 00:28:36,715 --> 00:28:38,542 - 13, I tried to keep in touch with him, 687 00:28:38,586 --> 00:28:40,109 but he never returned my calls. 688 00:28:40,153 --> 00:28:41,632 I took his number out of my book. 689 00:28:41,676 --> 00:28:42,503 - Stop! 690 00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:47,073 - Hi, Max. 691 00:28:47,116 --> 00:28:49,423 Hey, it's great to be out and about again. 692 00:28:49,466 --> 00:28:50,946 What's up? 693 00:28:50,990 --> 00:28:52,687 - We're being followed by a man in a black leather jacket 694 00:28:52,731 --> 00:28:54,471 with a mustache. 695 00:28:54,515 --> 00:28:56,169 - Leave it to me, Max. 696 00:28:56,212 --> 00:28:57,648 - I gotta get going. 697 00:28:57,692 --> 00:28:59,694 There's a colleague coming. 698 00:29:01,827 --> 00:29:04,307 [tense music] 699 00:29:10,096 --> 00:29:14,274 [yells] [water rushes] 700 00:29:18,669 --> 00:29:21,281 [birds chirp] 701 00:29:21,324 --> 00:29:22,543 - Oh hi, Max. 702 00:29:22,586 --> 00:29:24,806 Don't tell me you forgot my egg salad sandwich. 703 00:29:24,850 --> 00:29:26,068 - Hello, Larrabee. 704 00:29:26,112 --> 00:29:27,504 - Hymie, glad to see ya. 705 00:29:27,548 --> 00:29:29,811 - Hard to believe, you never call, you never write. 706 00:29:29,855 --> 00:29:30,812 - Enough. 707 00:29:30,856 --> 00:29:33,423 Larrabee, what are you doing here? 708 00:29:33,467 --> 00:29:35,164 - Watering my plants. 709 00:29:35,208 --> 00:29:36,644 - Watering your plant? 710 00:29:36,687 --> 00:29:39,734 Larrabee, Control has been out of business for 15 years. 711 00:29:39,778 --> 00:29:41,170 - I heard that rumor, too. 712 00:29:41,214 --> 00:29:42,693 - What rumor? 713 00:29:42,737 --> 00:29:45,174 In 15 years, have you received one letter, one phone call? 714 00:29:45,218 --> 00:29:46,393 - No, not one. 715 00:29:46,436 --> 00:29:47,698 - Not you. 716 00:29:47,742 --> 00:29:51,746 In 15 years, have you had one visitor, one memo? 717 00:29:53,835 --> 00:29:55,619 - I have a memo right here. 718 00:29:55,663 --> 00:29:57,360 I'll always cherish it. 719 00:29:57,404 --> 00:29:58,840 It's signed by the president. 720 00:29:58,884 --> 00:30:00,363 - The president. 721 00:30:00,407 --> 00:30:02,322 - To stay at your post until relieved, 722 00:30:02,365 --> 00:30:05,281 Richard M. Nixon, President. 723 00:30:05,325 --> 00:30:07,631 Max, are you my relief, 'cause I gotta get home. 724 00:30:07,675 --> 00:30:09,416 - Larrabee, get your coat and your hat 725 00:30:09,459 --> 00:30:11,722 and let's get outta here. 726 00:30:11,766 --> 00:30:13,159 - Where are we going? 727 00:30:13,202 --> 00:30:14,595 - Control lab, I've gotta get Hymie reprogramed 728 00:30:14,638 --> 00:30:17,728 and pick up the latest equipment from Spy World. 729 00:30:17,772 --> 00:30:18,599 Come on. 730 00:30:20,427 --> 00:30:21,602 - [Larrabee] Well, what's our mission? 731 00:30:21,645 --> 00:30:23,604 - To find Dr. Marcus Hottentot, he defected. 732 00:30:23,647 --> 00:30:25,780 - I can't believe that, he'd never defect. 733 00:30:25,824 --> 00:30:27,216 - You knew Marcus Hottentot? 734 00:30:27,260 --> 00:30:28,783 - I didn't know him as Marcus Hottentot. 735 00:30:28,827 --> 00:30:30,219 I knew him as Marcia Hopkins. 736 00:30:30,263 --> 00:30:31,177 - Marcia Hopkins? 737 00:30:31,220 --> 00:30:32,352 - Changed his name. 738 00:30:32,395 --> 00:30:34,136 - Sounds like he changed more than that. 739 00:30:34,180 --> 00:30:35,398 - Where did you meet him? 740 00:30:35,442 --> 00:30:36,399 - On a blind date, but I liked him, 741 00:30:36,443 --> 00:30:37,618 so I never said anything. 742 00:30:37,661 --> 00:30:39,794 - Of course, KAOS blackmailed Hottentot. 743 00:30:39,838 --> 00:30:40,882 That's why he defected. 744 00:30:40,926 --> 00:30:42,666 - I hope he's all right. 745 00:30:42,710 --> 00:30:46,279 He was a brilliant scientist and a great tango dancer. 746 00:30:46,322 --> 00:30:48,324 [slow horn music] 747 00:30:48,368 --> 00:30:50,674 [tense music] 748 00:30:55,331 --> 00:30:57,638 [rumbling] 749 00:31:01,511 --> 00:31:03,818 [tense music] 750 00:31:11,608 --> 00:31:12,871 [groans] 751 00:31:12,914 --> 00:31:15,612 [tense music] 752 00:31:20,835 --> 00:31:23,185 [booming] 753 00:31:23,229 --> 00:31:24,795 - What was that? 754 00:31:24,839 --> 00:31:25,753 - Beats me. 755 00:31:28,712 --> 00:31:30,627 [beeping] 756 00:31:30,671 --> 00:31:33,282 - I can only put him into the S mode. 757 00:31:33,326 --> 00:31:35,632 - [Smart] Exactly what does that mean? 758 00:31:35,676 --> 00:31:37,634 - He'll be programed for spying, 759 00:31:37,678 --> 00:31:40,289 but he'll also want to ski and shop. 760 00:31:40,333 --> 00:31:43,771 - Well, I'll keep him away from mountains and malls. 761 00:31:43,814 --> 00:31:45,468 - Excuse me. 762 00:31:45,512 --> 00:31:48,471 Doctor, I have Agent Smart's cashmere combat jacket, 763 00:31:48,515 --> 00:31:50,952 his slacks, and his magnetic shoes. 764 00:31:50,996 --> 00:31:52,649 - Magnetic shoes? 765 00:31:52,693 --> 00:31:56,740 - Yes, this is essentially a defensive weapon. 766 00:31:56,784 --> 00:31:58,481 It attracts metal, 767 00:31:59,352 --> 00:32:00,962 or is attracted to it. 768 00:32:02,442 --> 00:32:03,225 Thanks. 769 00:32:03,269 --> 00:32:04,487 - Here, Mr. Smart, 770 00:32:04,531 --> 00:32:06,925 slip into our latest technological triumph. 771 00:32:06,968 --> 00:32:10,319 - Although this appears to be an ordinary sports coat, 772 00:32:10,363 --> 00:32:13,235 it is in reality a size 40 regular 773 00:32:13,279 --> 00:32:15,672 megabyte mainframe computer. 774 00:32:15,716 --> 00:32:18,719 The material in this jacket is composed of thousands 775 00:32:18,762 --> 00:32:21,983 of cotton microchips interwoven with silk spun 776 00:32:22,027 --> 00:32:25,813 from specially bred silkworms from the Silicon Valley. 777 00:32:25,856 --> 00:32:28,729 This jacket is user friendly and is compatible 778 00:32:28,772 --> 00:32:31,775 with almost any software shirt. 779 00:32:31,819 --> 00:32:35,605 The four buttons on each sleeve are computer keys, 780 00:32:35,649 --> 00:32:37,651 so you are virtually a walking arsenal 781 00:32:37,694 --> 00:32:39,000 and communications center. 782 00:32:39,044 --> 00:32:40,436 Are there any questions? 783 00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:42,961 - Does it come in navy blue? 784 00:32:43,004 --> 00:32:45,528 - Will Agents Hymie and Larrabee require jackets? 785 00:32:45,572 --> 00:32:46,877 - Yes. 786 00:32:46,921 --> 00:32:48,270 - Gentlemen, I'll need to take your measurement, 787 00:32:48,314 --> 00:32:51,012 waist, neck, sleeve, inseam, nostril. 788 00:32:51,056 --> 00:32:52,405 - Nostril? 789 00:32:52,448 --> 00:32:53,884 - We have perfected a mini camera 790 00:32:53,928 --> 00:32:56,365 that fits right into your nose. 791 00:32:56,409 --> 00:32:58,759 All you have to do is press this button on your jacket 792 00:32:58,802 --> 00:33:01,631 and your elbow will record what your nose sees. 793 00:33:01,675 --> 00:33:04,547 - Well, wouldn't it be better if my nose recorded 794 00:33:04,591 --> 00:33:06,027 what my elbow sees? 795 00:33:06,071 --> 00:33:06,985 - No. - No? 796 00:33:07,028 --> 00:33:08,421 - No. - No. 797 00:33:08,464 --> 00:33:11,598 - Simply because in your elbow-patch compartment 798 00:33:11,641 --> 00:33:12,991 there is a mini recorder 799 00:33:13,034 --> 00:33:14,905 plus everything else you might need, 800 00:33:14,949 --> 00:33:18,779 a mini magnet, a mini gun, and a mini condom. 801 00:33:18,822 --> 00:33:23,001 - I'm curious, what use do we have for a mini magnet? 802 00:33:24,785 --> 00:33:27,527 - All you need to know is in your mini manual, 803 00:33:27,570 --> 00:33:30,834 which is in your other elbow-patch compartment. 804 00:33:30,878 --> 00:33:32,749 - How do we access the elbow patches? 805 00:33:32,793 --> 00:33:34,925 - Just press the first cuff button. 806 00:33:34,969 --> 00:33:37,754 - I thought the first cuff button worked my nostrils. 807 00:33:37,798 --> 00:33:39,756 - No, that's the third cuff button. 808 00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:41,758 - I thought that was the second cuff button. 809 00:33:41,802 --> 00:33:43,891 - No, the second cuff button activates 810 00:33:43,934 --> 00:33:45,762 the cuff-button phone. 811 00:33:45,806 --> 00:33:48,809 When this button lights up, you have an incoming call. 812 00:33:48,852 --> 00:33:51,768 To answer, lift the cuff to your ear, 813 00:33:51,812 --> 00:33:53,640 talk into your lapel. 814 00:33:53,683 --> 00:33:57,470 - Is that the left lapel or the right lapel? 815 00:33:57,513 --> 00:33:58,732 - The right is for local calls, 816 00:33:58,775 --> 00:34:00,081 the left is for long distance. 817 00:34:00,125 --> 00:34:03,519 - Long distance, do I get my choice of carriers? 818 00:34:03,563 --> 00:34:05,652 - Excuse me, If you'd like these jackets 819 00:34:05,695 --> 00:34:08,437 to have cuff calling, I need to leave now, Dr. Denton. 820 00:34:08,481 --> 00:34:10,700 - I wish I could join you. 821 00:34:10,744 --> 00:34:13,616 - Dr. Denton, did you know Dr. Hottentot? 822 00:34:13,660 --> 00:34:16,663 - Dr. Hottentot, um, not really, no. 823 00:34:17,838 --> 00:34:20,101 I believe he was a friend of my father's. 824 00:34:20,145 --> 00:34:21,537 - [Hymie] So you knew him? 825 00:34:21,581 --> 00:34:23,626 - Yes, I knew him, but I didn't know him well. 826 00:34:23,670 --> 00:34:26,455 Actually, I see very little of him. 827 00:34:26,499 --> 00:34:28,762 - My super sensitized sonic sensor says 828 00:34:28,805 --> 00:34:30,981 you are not telling the truth. 829 00:34:31,025 --> 00:34:33,810 - I should never have put you in the S mode. 830 00:34:33,854 --> 00:34:35,899 Of course you're right. 831 00:34:35,943 --> 00:34:37,640 I spoke to Marcus yesterday. 832 00:34:37,684 --> 00:34:39,816 He called me, he sounded desperate. 833 00:34:39,860 --> 00:34:41,470 - Doc, do ya know where he is? 834 00:34:41,514 --> 00:34:42,950 - No. 835 00:34:42,993 --> 00:34:44,560 - Well, did he call you at home, or did he call you here? 836 00:34:44,604 --> 00:34:45,387 - Here. 837 00:34:45,431 --> 00:34:46,171 - Good. 838 00:34:46,214 --> 00:34:47,563 These are security phones, 839 00:34:47,607 --> 00:34:49,043 that means that they're monitored. 840 00:34:49,087 --> 00:34:49,913 Thanks, Doc. 841 00:34:49,957 --> 00:34:51,611 Okay, it's late, 842 00:34:51,654 --> 00:34:53,047 I want you guys to put a trace on that phone call, 843 00:34:53,091 --> 00:34:54,396 and get me in address. 844 00:34:54,440 --> 00:34:55,789 I'm gonna pick up 99. 845 00:34:55,832 --> 00:34:58,792 Then we're gonna put our team together and move out. 846 00:34:58,835 --> 00:35:00,750 We've got one week to save the world. 847 00:35:00,794 --> 00:35:03,492 Lucky it's this week, we set our clocks back on Sunday. 848 00:35:03,536 --> 00:35:05,755 That gives us an extra hour. 849 00:35:05,799 --> 00:35:07,714 [soft piano music] 850 00:35:07,757 --> 00:35:09,455 Excuse me. 851 00:35:09,498 --> 00:35:10,847 My name is Maxwell Smart. 852 00:35:10,891 --> 00:35:13,546 I have a reservation for two, I'm meeting my wife. 853 00:35:13,589 --> 00:35:14,851 - [Man] No, you're not. 854 00:35:14,895 --> 00:35:17,680 - What do you mean no I'm not? 855 00:35:17,724 --> 00:35:18,855 Commander! 856 00:35:18,899 --> 00:35:20,466 You've got a day job. 857 00:35:20,509 --> 00:35:22,642 - Smart, I have been trying to get you all day 858 00:35:22,685 --> 00:35:24,165 on your cuff phone. 859 00:35:24,209 --> 00:35:25,819 - Yes, well, I didn't hear it, I mean, I didn't see it. 860 00:35:25,862 --> 00:35:27,690 I mean, I can't get used to these things. 861 00:35:27,734 --> 00:35:30,606 - You cannot meet 99 for lunch. 862 00:35:30,650 --> 00:35:32,652 Current regulations prohibit spouses 863 00:35:32,695 --> 00:35:34,741 with dependent children from working together. 864 00:35:34,784 --> 00:35:37,787 - But the twins aren't dependent, they're in college. 865 00:35:37,831 --> 00:35:39,137 - [Drury] I'm sorry, there's not a thing I can do. 866 00:35:39,180 --> 00:35:41,182 That is the president's decision. 867 00:35:41,226 --> 00:35:44,838 - 99 and I work so well together, we're a terrific team. 868 00:35:44,881 --> 00:35:47,623 Why, do you know that we were spy couple of the year 869 00:35:47,667 --> 00:35:48,885 in 1968? 870 00:35:48,929 --> 00:35:51,627 - Out of the question, now go and find a phone, 871 00:35:51,671 --> 00:35:55,892 call your wife, and tell her you cannot meet her for lunch. 872 00:35:55,936 --> 00:35:57,677 - She's already seen me. 873 00:35:57,720 --> 00:36:00,158 - All right, have lunch with her, but do not, 874 00:36:00,201 --> 00:36:01,724 and I'm going to repeat this, 875 00:36:01,768 --> 00:36:04,597 do not tell her anything about your assignment. 876 00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:06,816 - You're asking me to lie to 99. 877 00:36:06,860 --> 00:36:08,209 I've never lied to her in my life, 878 00:36:08,253 --> 00:36:10,211 and I'm not gonna start lying now. 879 00:36:10,255 --> 00:36:13,693 - Smart, lying to 99 is the last thing I want you to do. 880 00:36:13,736 --> 00:36:15,869 - Good. - Try everything else first. 881 00:36:15,912 --> 00:36:18,698 Good afternoon, Monsieur, Mademoiselle. 882 00:36:18,741 --> 00:36:21,831 [gentle piano music] 883 00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:24,704 - Hi. 884 00:36:24,747 --> 00:36:25,748 - Hi. 885 00:36:25,792 --> 00:36:26,706 - I'm sorry I'm late. 886 00:36:26,749 --> 00:36:28,055 - Oh, I'm sorry I went ahead. 887 00:36:28,098 --> 00:36:30,013 I have to bring these pages back to Lisa by 2:30. 888 00:36:30,057 --> 00:36:31,450 - Well, I'm not really hungry, 99, 889 00:36:31,493 --> 00:36:33,191 and it's almost 2:30 now. 890 00:36:33,234 --> 00:36:35,715 - Oh, well, come walk with me and tell me how things went. 891 00:36:35,758 --> 00:36:37,717 - On second thought, 99, 892 00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:40,459 I think I might order a little something to eat. 893 00:36:40,502 --> 00:36:43,244 I just had some sudden hunger pains. 894 00:36:43,288 --> 00:36:45,072 - Max, that's a new jacket, I like it. 895 00:36:45,115 --> 00:36:46,465 Where'd you get it? 896 00:36:46,508 --> 00:36:48,728 - The jacket, yes, well, you know me, 99, 897 00:36:48,771 --> 00:36:51,818 I never know where I get these things. 898 00:36:51,861 --> 00:36:54,081 Would Bellman's carry a jacket like this? 899 00:36:54,124 --> 00:36:54,995 - Sure. 900 00:36:55,038 --> 00:36:56,214 - Then that's where I got it. 901 00:36:56,257 --> 00:36:57,737 - Max, come on, I can't wait any longer. 902 00:36:57,780 --> 00:36:58,651 Tell me what happened. 903 00:36:58,694 --> 00:37:00,609 Are you back with Control? 904 00:37:00,653 --> 00:37:02,263 [soft muttering] 905 00:37:02,307 --> 00:37:04,831 Max, I can't hear you with the menu in front of your face. 906 00:37:04,874 --> 00:37:06,789 Have you been reactivated? 907 00:37:06,833 --> 00:37:07,921 - Ah, the veal. 908 00:37:07,964 --> 00:37:09,662 - Max, look at me. 909 00:37:09,705 --> 00:37:11,185 Tell me what happened. 910 00:37:11,229 --> 00:37:14,014 - Well, 99, it wasn't exactly what you'd think. 911 00:37:14,057 --> 00:37:18,758 I mean, we didn't really, I mean, I never, they didn't. 912 00:37:18,801 --> 00:37:20,934 - Could you say that a little more clearly? 913 00:37:20,977 --> 00:37:22,152 - No. 914 00:37:22,196 --> 00:37:23,719 - Max! 915 00:37:23,763 --> 00:37:25,112 Your cuff button is blinking. 916 00:37:25,155 --> 00:37:28,028 - Ah, yes, that, well, that's just probably 917 00:37:28,071 --> 00:37:29,899 a reflection from the silver. 918 00:37:29,943 --> 00:37:31,553 - Would you like to order something, sir? 919 00:37:31,597 --> 00:37:34,991 - Would I ever, yes, indeed, yes, yes, yes. 920 00:37:36,079 --> 00:37:36,950 Shrimp cocktail. 921 00:37:36,993 --> 00:37:38,821 - Shrimp cocktail. 922 00:37:38,865 --> 00:37:39,822 - Smoked eel. 923 00:37:39,866 --> 00:37:42,782 - Oh, smoked eel [pops]. 924 00:37:42,825 --> 00:37:43,652 - Crab capellini. 925 00:37:43,696 --> 00:37:44,653 - [Waiter] Capellini. 926 00:37:44,697 --> 00:37:46,046 - Endive and watercress salad. 927 00:37:46,089 --> 00:37:47,569 - [Waiter] Salad. 928 00:37:47,613 --> 00:37:48,875 - Asparagus vinaigrette. 929 00:37:48,918 --> 00:37:50,790 Listen, 99, if you have some place to go, 930 00:37:50,833 --> 00:37:55,229 don't let me hold you up, because I plan to eat a lot. 931 00:37:55,273 --> 00:37:56,709 Clams on the half shell. 932 00:37:56,752 --> 00:37:57,623 - Clams. 933 00:37:57,666 --> 00:37:59,625 - Peppered brie and puff pastry. 934 00:37:59,668 --> 00:38:01,322 - Would you come back in a moment, please? 935 00:38:01,366 --> 00:38:02,280 - Certainly. 936 00:38:02,323 --> 00:38:03,716 - Max, is something wrong? 937 00:38:03,759 --> 00:38:04,934 - No. - I'm gonna call Lisa 938 00:38:04,978 --> 00:38:06,284 and cancel my appointment. 939 00:38:06,327 --> 00:38:07,633 - No, no, don't call Lisa. 940 00:38:07,676 --> 00:38:09,287 Everything is perfectly all right. 941 00:38:09,330 --> 00:38:11,027 - No, I think I need to be here with you. 942 00:38:11,071 --> 00:38:12,986 - No, you don't need to be here. 943 00:38:13,029 --> 00:38:15,597 You don't need to be here now, I mean. 944 00:38:15,641 --> 00:38:18,731 Later, you need to be here, I mean, later at home you need 945 00:38:18,774 --> 00:38:20,167 to be with me. - Max, there's nothing here 946 00:38:20,210 --> 00:38:22,865 that I'm doing today that I can't do tomorrow. 947 00:38:22,909 --> 00:38:24,040 What's wrong? 948 00:38:26,739 --> 00:38:29,132 - My love affair with Agent 12? 949 00:38:31,091 --> 00:38:34,660 I had only been at the agency a short time 950 00:38:34,703 --> 00:38:36,792 when he came into my life. 951 00:38:36,836 --> 00:38:38,228 - Maybe I had better be going, Max. 952 00:38:38,272 --> 00:38:39,708 We'll talk at home, okay? 953 00:38:39,752 --> 00:38:41,928 - 99, how could you do such a thing? 954 00:38:41,971 --> 00:38:44,147 12 isn't even a romantic number. 955 00:38:44,191 --> 00:38:47,629 - Oh, Max, it's so flattering that after all these years, 956 00:38:47,673 --> 00:38:49,283 you can still be jealous, 957 00:38:49,327 --> 00:38:51,851 and it's so tempting to take advantage of it, 958 00:38:51,894 --> 00:38:53,069 but I can't. 959 00:38:53,113 --> 00:38:55,855 Agent 12 was my mentor, and I did love him, 960 00:38:55,898 --> 00:38:57,770 but like a grandfather. 961 00:38:57,813 --> 00:38:59,380 - Yours our somebody else's? 962 00:38:59,424 --> 00:39:00,860 - My grandfather. 963 00:39:01,730 --> 00:39:02,949 - Really? 964 00:39:02,992 --> 00:39:05,125 - Oh, Max, I could never lie to you, 965 00:39:05,168 --> 00:39:08,041 anymore than you could lie to me. 966 00:39:08,084 --> 00:39:09,303 Now, shall we talk? 967 00:39:09,347 --> 00:39:12,698 - Talk, yes, well, 99, this isn't the time 968 00:39:12,741 --> 00:39:13,699 or the place to talk. 969 00:39:13,742 --> 00:39:15,265 We can talk later at home. 970 00:39:15,309 --> 00:39:16,049 - You're sure? 971 00:39:16,092 --> 00:39:16,876 - Yes. 972 00:39:16,919 --> 00:39:18,399 - Okay. 973 00:39:18,443 --> 00:39:19,269 Bye bye. 974 00:39:23,273 --> 00:39:26,712 - What would you like first, sir? 975 00:39:26,755 --> 00:39:29,410 [playful music] 976 00:39:36,939 --> 00:39:38,767 - What a minute, what do you think you're doing? 977 00:39:38,811 --> 00:39:41,074 There's still a minute left on that parking meter. 978 00:39:41,117 --> 00:39:43,119 Instead of harassing innocent citizens, 979 00:39:43,163 --> 00:39:45,339 you should be out after the real criminals, 980 00:39:45,383 --> 00:39:47,428 the murderers, the killers, the arsonists. 981 00:39:47,472 --> 00:39:50,257 They're the ones who deserve parking tickets. 982 00:39:50,300 --> 00:39:53,086 I don't care, I'm gonna fight this! 983 00:39:53,129 --> 00:39:53,956 What? 984 00:39:54,827 --> 00:39:55,828 What? 985 00:39:55,871 --> 00:39:57,307 - It's not a ticket! 986 00:39:58,961 --> 00:39:59,788 - Oh. 987 00:40:03,705 --> 00:40:05,751 Meet Hymie at 661 K Street. 988 00:40:10,146 --> 00:40:12,148 [horn honks] 989 00:40:12,192 --> 00:40:15,369 [light playful music] 990 00:40:16,718 --> 00:40:17,893 Thanks, Hymie. 991 00:40:18,894 --> 00:40:20,374 - I tried to reach you on your cuff phone, 992 00:40:20,418 --> 00:40:23,203 but you didn't answer, that's why the meter maid message. 993 00:40:23,246 --> 00:40:25,292 - There are complications. 994 00:40:25,335 --> 00:40:27,816 - The president wants to talk to Hottentot personally. 995 00:40:27,860 --> 00:40:30,079 He wants you to take him right to the White House. 996 00:40:30,123 --> 00:40:31,341 - [Smart] Where is he? 997 00:40:31,385 --> 00:40:34,083 - He has a room in the first floor. 998 00:40:36,129 --> 00:40:37,870 He's in 108. 999 00:40:37,913 --> 00:40:40,481 [soft chattering] 1000 00:40:42,135 --> 00:40:44,354 [knocking] 1001 00:40:45,791 --> 00:40:46,835 [toilet flushes] 1002 00:40:46,879 --> 00:40:48,228 - I think he's in there. 1003 00:40:48,271 --> 00:40:49,925 - Dr. Hottentot, open the door. 1004 00:40:49,969 --> 00:40:52,014 We know you're in there. 1005 00:40:52,058 --> 00:40:54,364 - Doctor, this is Maxwell Smart. 1006 00:40:54,408 --> 00:40:57,411 If you don't open this door by the time I count to three, 1007 00:40:57,455 --> 00:40:59,761 we're gonna kick the door down. 1008 00:40:59,805 --> 00:41:01,763 - Maybe we should call the landlady, Max. 1009 00:41:01,807 --> 00:41:03,809 - I don't think she can kick the door down. 1010 00:41:03,852 --> 00:41:04,940 - She might have a pass key. 1011 00:41:04,984 --> 00:41:06,420 - We don't have time for that. 1012 00:41:06,464 --> 00:41:07,508 Ready? 1013 00:41:07,552 --> 00:41:08,814 One, two, 1014 00:41:08,857 --> 00:41:11,381 three. [bangs] 1015 00:41:15,211 --> 00:41:17,300 Dr. Hottentot, I presume. 1016 00:41:18,867 --> 00:41:22,131 - I don't expect forgiveness, I'm just glad it's over. 1017 00:41:22,175 --> 00:41:23,785 - It's not over, Doctor. 1018 00:41:23,829 --> 00:41:25,831 - Dr. Hottentot, you have to tell us 1019 00:41:25,874 --> 00:41:27,354 who you gave the formula to. 1020 00:41:27,397 --> 00:41:28,921 - Well, his name is-- 1021 00:41:28,964 --> 00:41:29,791 - Duck! 1022 00:41:30,966 --> 00:41:32,533 - Why did you do that? 1023 00:41:32,577 --> 00:41:35,971 - Because every time someone is about to reveal the name 1024 00:41:36,015 --> 00:41:38,234 of a murderer or traitor, they get shot. 1025 00:41:38,278 --> 00:41:39,540 Now, Dr. Hottentot, 1026 00:41:39,584 --> 00:41:42,108 ya have to tell us who you gave the formula to. 1027 00:41:42,151 --> 00:41:46,852 - Well, his name is--[gun bangs] 1028 00:41:46,895 --> 00:41:49,507 [tires squeal] 1029 00:41:50,943 --> 00:41:53,467 - He's not gonna make it, Max. 1030 00:41:55,295 --> 00:41:57,863 - Doc, who is the double agent? 1031 00:41:57,906 --> 00:42:00,430 [whimpering] 1032 00:42:00,474 --> 00:42:01,823 - What did he say? 1033 00:42:01,867 --> 00:42:04,565 - He asked me to get my knee off his chest. 1034 00:42:04,609 --> 00:42:07,437 Doc, the double agent, who is it? 1035 00:42:07,481 --> 00:42:08,917 - Cigarette. 1036 00:42:08,961 --> 00:42:10,571 - No, thank you, I quit. 1037 00:42:10,615 --> 00:42:13,182 Who is the double agent? 1038 00:42:13,226 --> 00:42:15,141 - His name is not known 1039 00:42:16,359 --> 00:42:17,578 to me. - I can't hear ya, Doc, 1040 00:42:17,622 --> 00:42:18,536 speak up. 1041 00:42:18,579 --> 00:42:20,581 - Max, why don't you record him? 1042 00:42:20,625 --> 00:42:24,411 - Look, Doc, I want you to look into my nostril 1043 00:42:24,454 --> 00:42:26,456 and speak into my elbow. 1044 00:42:29,372 --> 00:42:31,244 - I put the formula-- 1045 00:42:31,287 --> 00:42:32,898 - No, no, no, you believe this? 1046 00:42:32,941 --> 00:42:34,900 The man is speaking into my nostril. 1047 00:42:34,943 --> 00:42:37,555 I don't want you to speak into my nostril, I hate that. 1048 00:42:37,598 --> 00:42:40,906 I want you to speak into my elbow. 1049 00:42:40,949 --> 00:42:42,211 - Sorry. 1050 00:42:42,255 --> 00:42:45,345 I put the formula in an airport locker 1051 00:42:45,388 --> 00:42:48,522 and they had the money in another locker. 1052 00:42:48,566 --> 00:42:51,612 - Doctor, did KAOS take you to their headquarters? 1053 00:42:51,656 --> 00:42:53,571 - No, I never saw anybody. 1054 00:42:54,963 --> 00:42:56,617 - Max, he's dying. 1055 00:42:56,661 --> 00:42:58,097 - Dying! 1056 00:42:58,140 --> 00:43:00,926 Come on, Doc, give us a break, give us something! 1057 00:43:00,969 --> 00:43:02,449 What happens if we find the machine? 1058 00:43:02,492 --> 00:43:04,625 How do stop them from using it? 1059 00:43:04,669 --> 00:43:07,628 - Hamlet, Hamlet, and Spal-Spalding. 1060 00:43:08,934 --> 00:43:11,327 - Can't understand him. 1061 00:43:11,371 --> 00:43:13,895 - Cigarette, I need a cigarette. 1062 00:43:13,939 --> 00:43:15,593 - Will ya forget about the cigarettes, already? 1063 00:43:15,636 --> 00:43:17,246 They could be hazardous to your health. 1064 00:43:17,290 --> 00:43:18,596 They could kill ya. 1065 00:43:18,639 --> 00:43:20,336 [groans] 1066 00:43:20,380 --> 00:43:21,207 See? 1067 00:43:22,774 --> 00:43:24,384 - [President] Gentlemen, what I'm about to say is top secret 1068 00:43:24,427 --> 00:43:25,472 and confidential. 1069 00:43:25,515 --> 00:43:26,734 - [Drury] Don't worry, Mr. President. 1070 00:43:26,778 --> 00:43:29,128 Security's gone over every inch of this room. 1071 00:43:29,171 --> 00:43:31,173 We are not bugged, we are not tapped. 1072 00:43:31,217 --> 00:43:32,914 Feel free to speak, sir. 1073 00:43:32,958 --> 00:43:36,309 - [Smart] Shouldn't we close the window? 1074 00:43:37,397 --> 00:43:38,703 - Up until three weeks ago, 1075 00:43:38,746 --> 00:43:41,096 Hottentot was a forgotten scientist. 1076 00:43:41,140 --> 00:43:43,185 Most of us working here didn't know him. 1077 00:43:43,229 --> 00:43:44,447 When he perfected his formula, 1078 00:43:44,491 --> 00:43:46,885 he became our best kept secret. 1079 00:43:46,928 --> 00:43:49,931 Now, how did KAOS find out about him? 1080 00:43:49,975 --> 00:43:52,934 Smart, did Hottentot say anything meaningful before he died? 1081 00:43:52,978 --> 00:43:56,459 - Well, Mr. President, he said something about Hamlet 1082 00:43:56,503 --> 00:43:57,460 and Spalding. 1083 00:43:57,504 --> 00:43:59,680 - Did you record him, Smart? 1084 00:43:59,724 --> 00:44:00,420 - Yes. 1085 00:44:00,463 --> 00:44:01,595 - Good, get me the tape, 1086 00:44:01,639 --> 00:44:03,684 and I'll have the crypto boys slow it down 1087 00:44:03,728 --> 00:44:05,381 and see if they can make something out of it. 1088 00:44:05,425 --> 00:44:07,688 - We've got to double our efforts to find the mole 1089 00:44:07,732 --> 00:44:09,385 or quadruple them if necessary. 1090 00:44:09,429 --> 00:44:12,388 - Mr. President, I know how you feel 1091 00:44:12,432 --> 00:44:15,870 and how you disapprove of spouses working together, 1092 00:44:15,914 --> 00:44:20,440 but I do feel that my wife would be a great help on my team. 1093 00:44:20,483 --> 00:44:21,920 - Well, I'm sure she would, Smart, 1094 00:44:21,963 --> 00:44:24,226 but I'm categorically opposed to couples working together 1095 00:44:24,270 --> 00:44:26,794 on a mission as dangerous as this. 1096 00:44:26,838 --> 00:44:28,753 [knocking] 1097 00:44:28,796 --> 00:44:31,451 - Sir, this just arrived. 1098 00:44:31,494 --> 00:44:33,801 I knew it was high priority. 1099 00:44:35,237 --> 00:44:37,152 - This is a response to my request for an emergency meeting 1100 00:44:37,196 --> 00:44:38,545 with our allies. 1101 00:44:41,374 --> 00:44:42,984 - Something wrong, Mr. President? 1102 00:44:43,028 --> 00:44:44,159 - Something wrong? 1103 00:44:44,203 --> 00:44:45,552 Read this! 1104 00:44:45,595 --> 00:44:48,468 They don't believe that KAOS has a weather machine. 1105 00:44:48,511 --> 00:44:50,949 Smart, we're alone in this. 1106 00:44:50,992 --> 00:44:53,299 I'm counting on you more than ever. 1107 00:44:53,342 --> 00:44:55,518 Believe me, it's not easy to send a man off on a mission 1108 00:44:55,562 --> 00:44:57,738 which some of my cabinet members characterize 1109 00:44:57,782 --> 00:44:59,348 as one of certain death. 1110 00:44:59,392 --> 00:45:00,828 - Certain death? 1111 00:45:00,872 --> 00:45:04,223 - Yes, but in my opinion, I have no other choice. 1112 00:45:04,266 --> 00:45:07,226 - Could we get a second opinion? 1113 00:45:07,269 --> 00:45:10,272 [suspenseful music] 1114 00:45:33,339 --> 00:45:37,343 - Before going to sleep, Smart usually has a midnight snack. 1115 00:45:37,386 --> 00:45:39,867 I want you to kill him in the kitchen. 1116 00:45:39,911 --> 00:45:42,914 [suspenseful music] 1117 00:45:58,625 --> 00:45:59,452 - Max? 1118 00:46:00,496 --> 00:46:01,541 - Go to sleep, 99. 1119 00:46:01,584 --> 00:46:02,368 - I can't. 1120 00:46:02,411 --> 00:46:03,412 - Why not? 1121 00:46:03,456 --> 00:46:04,457 - You're sitting on me. 1122 00:46:04,500 --> 00:46:05,327 - Oh. 1123 00:46:08,287 --> 00:46:10,376 - Max, how come you're home so late? 1124 00:46:10,419 --> 00:46:13,379 - Late, yes, well, I had to go to a ship christening. 1125 00:46:13,422 --> 00:46:15,076 - At 2:30 in the morning? 1126 00:46:15,120 --> 00:46:17,426 - The Navy has a very low budget, 1127 00:46:17,470 --> 00:46:20,255 and they don't like a lot of people standing around 1128 00:46:20,299 --> 00:46:23,476 while they're using that cheap champagne. 1129 00:46:25,478 --> 00:46:27,610 - Max, tell me about today. 1130 00:46:27,654 --> 00:46:29,612 Were you reactivated? 1131 00:46:29,656 --> 00:46:30,439 - No. 1132 00:46:30,483 --> 00:46:32,964 - Oh, Max, I'm so sorry. 1133 00:46:33,007 --> 00:46:34,922 Oh, you knew at lunch, didn't you? 1134 00:46:34,966 --> 00:46:36,358 - Yes. 1135 00:46:36,402 --> 00:46:38,883 - You must be so disappointed. 1136 00:46:38,926 --> 00:46:41,276 But then why did the agency call you? 1137 00:46:41,320 --> 00:46:44,889 - Look, 99, I have had a very tough day. 1138 00:46:44,932 --> 00:46:48,153 I mean, I am so tired, I'm ready to collapse. 1139 00:46:48,196 --> 00:46:49,981 Why don't we talk about it tomorrow 1140 00:46:50,024 --> 00:46:51,896 and let me get a little sleep right now? 1141 00:46:51,939 --> 00:46:53,419 - Could you do me a favor and open the window? 1142 00:46:53,462 --> 00:46:54,420 It's stuffy in here. 1143 00:46:54,463 --> 00:46:55,377 - Oh, sure. 1144 00:46:57,423 --> 00:46:59,294 - Wouldn't you feel better if we talked about it, Max? 1145 00:46:59,338 --> 00:47:02,428 - No, no, 99, I don't wanna talk about it. 1146 00:47:02,471 --> 00:47:05,518 I just wanna get a good night's sleep 1147 00:47:06,519 --> 00:47:09,435 and fix myself a nice cup of hot cocoa. 1148 00:47:09,478 --> 00:47:11,132 - I thought you said you were exhausted. 1149 00:47:11,176 --> 00:47:13,395 - Yes, well, I am exhausted, 99, 1150 00:47:13,439 --> 00:47:15,571 but when I get exhausted I get overtired, 1151 00:47:15,615 --> 00:47:17,443 and I just can't get to sleep 1152 00:47:17,486 --> 00:47:20,359 without a cup of nice, hot cocoa. 1153 00:47:20,402 --> 00:47:21,403 But don't you worry about it, 1154 00:47:21,447 --> 00:47:23,014 because I'm gonna close the door, 1155 00:47:23,057 --> 00:47:25,277 so you can't hear me making it. 1156 00:47:25,320 --> 00:47:27,279 - Max, why don't you just count sheep? 1157 00:47:27,322 --> 00:47:29,977 You remember what happened the last time you made cocoa? 1158 00:47:30,021 --> 00:47:34,068 - Yes, well, we were gonna redo the kitchen anyway, 99. 1159 00:47:34,112 --> 00:47:35,374 - Well, be careful, hmm? 1160 00:47:35,417 --> 00:47:37,463 [thuds] 1161 00:47:37,506 --> 00:47:38,333 - I will. 1162 00:47:42,163 --> 00:47:44,470 [tense music] 1163 00:48:03,141 --> 00:48:05,491 [thuds] 1164 00:48:05,534 --> 00:48:06,927 - [99] Max! 1165 00:48:06,971 --> 00:48:09,495 - It's all right, 99, I just dropped the cocoa. 1166 00:48:09,538 --> 00:48:10,670 Go back to sleep. 1167 00:48:10,713 --> 00:48:11,976 [groans] 1168 00:48:12,019 --> 00:48:13,151 [clattering] 1169 00:48:13,194 --> 00:48:14,369 - Shh! - What's going on down there? 1170 00:48:14,413 --> 00:48:16,545 - I just dropped it again. 1171 00:48:17,503 --> 00:48:21,333 [groans] [tense music] 1172 00:48:21,376 --> 00:48:23,639 [muffled yelling] 1173 00:48:23,683 --> 00:48:25,163 [tense music] 1174 00:48:25,206 --> 00:48:26,381 [groans] 1175 00:48:26,425 --> 00:48:30,603 [muffled yelling] [tense music] 1176 00:48:34,389 --> 00:48:36,478 [groans] 1177 00:48:38,002 --> 00:48:40,526 [tense music] 1178 00:48:45,096 --> 00:48:45,705 [groans] 1179 00:48:45,748 --> 00:48:47,359 [tense music] 1180 00:48:47,402 --> 00:48:49,448 Listen you've got to be quiet. 1181 00:48:49,491 --> 00:48:52,538 You don't happen to have a silencer on you, do ya? 1182 00:48:52,581 --> 00:48:55,062 [tense music] 1183 00:48:56,411 --> 00:48:58,500 [groans] 1184 00:48:58,544 --> 00:49:01,242 [tense music] 1185 00:49:15,604 --> 00:49:16,692 [groans] 1186 00:49:16,736 --> 00:49:19,217 [clock chimes] 1187 00:49:19,260 --> 00:49:21,567 [tense music] 1188 00:49:25,092 --> 00:49:26,050 Wait a minute! 1189 00:49:26,093 --> 00:49:26,702 Do me a favor. 1190 00:49:26,746 --> 00:49:27,834 - What? 1191 00:49:27,877 --> 00:49:29,401 - Hold these while I read ya your rights. 1192 00:49:29,444 --> 00:49:30,184 [groans] 1193 00:49:30,228 --> 00:49:30,706 - Max, are you all right? 1194 00:49:30,750 --> 00:49:31,490 - Yes. 1195 00:49:31,533 --> 00:49:32,447 - You've been reactivated. 1196 00:49:32,491 --> 00:49:33,796 - Oh, yes, 1197 00:49:33,840 --> 00:49:36,060 I'm so glad I don't have to lie to you anymore, 99. 1198 00:49:36,103 --> 00:49:37,496 I can finally tell ya the truth. 1199 00:49:37,539 --> 00:49:38,366 - What is the truth, Max? 1200 00:49:38,410 --> 00:49:40,064 - I can't tell you that, 99. 1201 00:49:40,107 --> 00:49:41,413 - It's a secret mission? 1202 00:49:41,456 --> 00:49:42,414 [tense music] 1203 00:49:42,457 --> 00:49:44,024 Max, he's getting away! 1204 00:49:44,068 --> 00:49:45,765 - Well, what do you want me to do, 99? 1205 00:49:45,808 --> 00:49:47,071 - Sorry, Max. 1206 00:49:47,114 --> 00:49:50,596 [tense music] [clock chimes] 1207 00:49:50,639 --> 00:49:52,424 Max, was that man from KAOS? 1208 00:49:52,467 --> 00:49:53,773 - How did you know that, 99? 1209 00:49:53,816 --> 00:49:55,079 - Remember Grubnik? 1210 00:49:55,122 --> 00:49:57,255 - Of course, Grubnik the spoiler. 1211 00:49:57,298 --> 00:50:00,519 - Right, in 1969, he was traded by KAOS to thrush 1212 00:50:00,562 --> 00:50:03,435 for a rookie killer and two minor league muggers. 1213 00:50:03,478 --> 00:50:06,046 That man was Vedermeyer, one of the muggers. 1214 00:50:06,090 --> 00:50:09,093 - Of course, I should've remembered his clammy hands. 1215 00:50:09,136 --> 00:50:10,442 - What's this all about, Max? 1216 00:50:10,485 --> 00:50:12,052 - Oh, I can't tell ya that, 99. 1217 00:50:12,096 --> 00:50:14,663 I was sworn to secrecy by the president himself. 1218 00:50:14,707 --> 00:50:16,100 - You met the president? 1219 00:50:16,143 --> 00:50:17,362 What's he like? 1220 00:50:17,405 --> 00:50:18,363 - Everything you'd expect him to be. 1221 00:50:18,406 --> 00:50:20,800 - Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. 1222 00:50:21,714 --> 00:50:24,412 [tense music] 1223 00:50:26,501 --> 00:50:27,328 - KAOS. 1224 00:50:28,503 --> 00:50:29,374 Billions. 1225 00:50:29,417 --> 00:50:30,331 - Max. 1226 00:50:30,375 --> 00:50:32,116 - Hottentot. 1227 00:50:32,159 --> 00:50:33,334 - Max, Max, Max! - Hottentot. 1228 00:50:33,378 --> 00:50:34,553 Huh, what? - Wake up! 1229 00:50:34,596 --> 00:50:37,121 You're spouting classified information. 1230 00:50:37,164 --> 00:50:38,557 - Oh, what did I say? 1231 00:50:38,600 --> 00:50:40,472 - You mentioned KAOS and then you said something about 1232 00:50:40,515 --> 00:50:42,474 billions of dollars. 1233 00:50:42,517 --> 00:50:44,389 Oh, Max, until you're off this case, 1234 00:50:44,432 --> 00:50:47,305 I think maybe it's better I sleep in another bedroom. 1235 00:50:47,348 --> 00:50:50,090 - Oh, in that case, I'm off this case right now. 1236 00:50:50,134 --> 00:50:51,265 - Oh, Max. 1237 00:50:51,309 --> 00:50:53,572 - Did I say anything else? 1238 00:50:53,615 --> 00:50:56,488 - Now that I think of it, yes, and it concerns me, Max, 1239 00:50:56,531 --> 00:50:58,794 and my book-- - Wait, 99, if we're gonna 1240 00:50:58,838 --> 00:51:01,319 discuss a top-secret case, we're going to have to do it 1241 00:51:01,362 --> 00:51:03,669 under the cone of silence. 1242 00:51:03,712 --> 00:51:04,757 - Right, Max. 1243 00:51:06,367 --> 00:51:08,543 [buzzing] 1244 00:51:11,416 --> 00:51:13,809 You mentioned Doctor, sorry. 1245 00:51:13,853 --> 00:51:16,203 [buzzing] 1246 00:51:18,379 --> 00:51:20,860 You mentioned Dr. Hottentot and his weather machine. 1247 00:51:20,903 --> 00:51:23,863 Is that still classified information? 1248 00:51:23,906 --> 00:51:25,256 - What? 1249 00:51:25,299 --> 00:51:27,475 - I wrote about Dr. Hottentot in my book. 1250 00:51:27,519 --> 00:51:29,695 Now, maybe what I'm thinking is farfetched, Max, 1251 00:51:29,738 --> 00:51:32,698 but there could be a tie-in between KAOS, the book company, 1252 00:51:32,741 --> 00:51:33,742 you, and me. 1253 00:51:35,179 --> 00:51:38,356 - You want me to tie you up at the book company? 1254 00:51:38,399 --> 00:51:40,488 - In fact, the more I think about it, Max, 1255 00:51:40,532 --> 00:51:42,577 [buzzing] 1256 00:51:42,621 --> 00:51:45,276 KAOS may have a contact at the book company. 1257 00:51:45,319 --> 00:51:46,755 - KAOS what? 1258 00:51:46,799 --> 00:51:48,670 - Max, there's something wrong with the cone of silence. 1259 00:51:48,714 --> 00:51:50,194 - Forget that, 99, 1260 00:51:50,237 --> 00:51:52,196 something's wrong with the cone of silence. 1261 00:51:52,239 --> 00:51:53,153 - [99] What? 1262 00:51:53,197 --> 00:51:54,459 - What? 1263 00:51:54,502 --> 00:51:56,461 [buzzing] 1264 00:51:58,463 --> 00:51:59,855 How did you do that? 1265 00:51:59,899 --> 00:52:02,728 - Max, what I'm trying to tell you is I may have given 1266 00:52:02,771 --> 00:52:06,949 classified information to someone at the book company who, 1267 00:52:08,821 --> 00:52:11,432 Max, your cuff button is flashing. 1268 00:52:11,476 --> 00:52:14,783 - Well, just pick up the sleeve and talk into the lapel. 1269 00:52:14,827 --> 00:52:16,176 - [99] Which lapel? 1270 00:52:16,220 --> 00:52:18,483 - It's okay, forget it, I'll get it. 1271 00:52:18,526 --> 00:52:19,353 - Okay. 1272 00:52:23,575 --> 00:52:24,619 - Hello, hello? 1273 00:52:25,577 --> 00:52:26,665 - I think I'm on to something. 1274 00:52:26,708 --> 00:52:27,622 [gun clicks] 1275 00:52:27,666 --> 00:52:29,929 Can you meet me, Mr. Smart? 1276 00:52:29,972 --> 00:52:30,930 - [Smart] Where? 1277 00:52:30,973 --> 00:52:32,584 - In the agency parking lot. 1278 00:52:32,627 --> 00:52:34,499 Could you come quickly? 1279 00:52:34,542 --> 00:52:35,543 - I'm on my way. 1280 00:52:35,587 --> 00:52:36,631 - Thank you. 1281 00:52:36,675 --> 00:52:38,242 [thuds] 1282 00:52:38,285 --> 00:52:40,331 [tense music] 1283 00:52:40,374 --> 00:52:42,333 - That was Beamish, he's one of the men on my team. 1284 00:52:42,376 --> 00:52:43,551 I have to meet him in the parking lot. 1285 00:52:43,595 --> 00:52:44,813 - I'm going with you, Max. 1286 00:52:44,857 --> 00:52:46,250 - No, that's out of the question, 99. 1287 00:52:46,293 --> 00:52:47,555 This is a secret mission. 1288 00:52:47,599 --> 00:52:48,643 - Was a secret mission. 1289 00:52:48,687 --> 00:52:50,515 Max, it's much easier to work with you 1290 00:52:50,558 --> 00:52:52,517 than it is to stay home and worry about you. 1291 00:52:52,560 --> 00:52:54,780 - I'm sorry, 99, but it's out of the question. 1292 00:52:54,823 --> 00:52:56,782 It's too dangerous, it's too tricky. 1293 00:52:56,825 --> 00:52:59,263 Now, there is nothing you can say or do 1294 00:52:59,306 --> 00:53:00,916 that will make me change my mind. 1295 00:53:00,960 --> 00:53:03,441 That's it, it's over, finished. 1296 00:53:03,484 --> 00:53:05,573 - But, Max, I want to. 1297 00:53:05,617 --> 00:53:07,227 - Okay. 1298 00:53:07,271 --> 00:53:10,796 - Besides, two karate chops are better than one. 1299 00:53:12,014 --> 00:53:15,017 [suspenseful music] 1300 00:53:30,598 --> 00:53:32,470 - I don't see Beamish anywhere. 1301 00:53:32,513 --> 00:53:33,993 - Do you think it could be a trap, Max? 1302 00:53:34,036 --> 00:53:35,560 [gun bangs] 1303 00:53:35,603 --> 00:53:37,475 - That's a distinct possibility. 1304 00:53:37,518 --> 00:53:38,867 - What do we do now, Max? 1305 00:53:38,911 --> 00:53:40,304 - Don't shoot! 1306 00:53:40,347 --> 00:53:41,305 - Max, what are you doing? 1307 00:53:41,348 --> 00:53:42,567 He'll kill you. 1308 00:53:42,610 --> 00:53:46,310 - I'm coming out with my hands up and my foot. 1309 00:53:47,876 --> 00:53:49,704 [clinking] 1310 00:53:49,748 --> 00:53:50,836 - Max! 1311 00:53:50,879 --> 00:53:53,317 You've got his gun. 1312 00:53:53,360 --> 00:53:54,666 - And his watch, 1313 00:53:54,709 --> 00:53:56,015 and two fillings. 1314 00:53:56,058 --> 00:53:57,930 - Max, there he is! 1315 00:53:57,973 --> 00:54:02,326 [gun bangs] [tense music] 1316 00:54:14,599 --> 00:54:15,774 [growls] - Freeze! 1317 00:54:15,817 --> 00:54:18,429 [barking] 1318 00:54:18,472 --> 00:54:21,519 [tense rhythmic music] 1319 00:54:32,356 --> 00:54:33,879 [yells] 1320 00:54:33,922 --> 00:54:37,317 [tense rhythmic music] 1321 00:54:45,934 --> 00:54:50,025 [clattering] [cat howls] 1322 00:54:50,069 --> 00:54:51,070 - Max, are you all right? 1323 00:54:51,113 --> 00:54:52,550 - Yes, I'm just frustrated. 1324 00:54:52,593 --> 00:54:53,507 I had him right in my hands. 1325 00:54:53,551 --> 00:54:54,943 - How did he get away? 1326 00:54:54,987 --> 00:54:57,555 - By the seat of his pants, KAOS strip slacks. 1327 00:54:57,598 --> 00:55:00,558 - Oh, Max, they're a rip off of Control's ejecto-pants. 1328 00:55:00,601 --> 00:55:02,560 - And probably half the price. 1329 00:55:02,603 --> 00:55:03,909 - Did you get a look at his face? 1330 00:55:03,952 --> 00:55:05,040 - Well, if that was his face, 1331 00:55:05,084 --> 00:55:06,955 he has a huge cleft in his chin. 1332 00:55:06,999 --> 00:55:08,348 Anyway, I know who it is, 99. 1333 00:55:08,392 --> 00:55:09,958 It's the commander's right-hand man 1334 00:55:10,002 --> 00:55:11,569 Major Preston Waterhouse. 1335 00:55:11,612 --> 00:55:13,092 - How can you be sure? 1336 00:55:13,135 --> 00:55:14,441 - Very simple, 99, 1337 00:55:14,485 --> 00:55:16,574 these pants tell me everything that I need to know. 1338 00:55:16,617 --> 00:55:18,402 First of all, look at the length, extra long. 1339 00:55:18,445 --> 00:55:20,969 Major Waterhouse is over six feet tall. 1340 00:55:21,013 --> 00:55:22,754 Next, the material, heavy wool, 1341 00:55:22,797 --> 00:55:24,669 typical choice of an Army man, 1342 00:55:24,712 --> 00:55:26,714 and finally, there's the label, 1343 00:55:26,758 --> 00:55:28,890 made for Preston Waterhouse. 1344 00:55:28,934 --> 00:55:29,935 - Oh. 1345 00:55:29,978 --> 00:55:32,459 [tense music] 1346 00:55:37,725 --> 00:55:41,599 The Major's RV is the third one on the left. 1347 00:55:45,516 --> 00:55:49,476 - [Smart] He may be watching us, walk casually. 1348 00:55:54,655 --> 00:55:56,135 - His light's on, Max. 1349 00:55:56,178 --> 00:55:58,093 - Okay, I'll go in and you cover me. 1350 00:55:58,137 --> 00:55:59,443 - Max, I don't have a gun. 1351 00:55:59,486 --> 00:56:01,619 - Okay, then you go in and I'll cover you. 1352 00:56:01,662 --> 00:56:02,968 - Max! 1353 00:56:03,011 --> 00:56:06,058 - [Smart] I've got a gun for you, 99. 1354 00:56:07,451 --> 00:56:09,931 - Max, this looks like a tootsie roll with a trigger. 1355 00:56:09,975 --> 00:56:12,456 What do you say when you use this, put your finger up? 1356 00:56:12,499 --> 00:56:14,632 - Well, it may not look like much, 99, 1357 00:56:14,675 --> 00:56:16,851 but when you attach this noiser to it. 1358 00:56:16,895 --> 00:56:19,680 - Noiser? - A bang becomes a boom. 1359 00:56:21,465 --> 00:56:22,640 [knocking] 1360 00:56:22,683 --> 00:56:25,077 This is Maxwell Smart, open up, Major. 1361 00:56:25,120 --> 00:56:26,165 [clicking] 1362 00:56:26,208 --> 00:56:27,471 - He turned his lights off. 1363 00:56:27,514 --> 00:56:28,820 [knocking] 1364 00:56:28,863 --> 00:56:30,996 - Major, open up. 1365 00:56:31,039 --> 00:56:35,827 [thuds] [tense music] 1366 00:56:35,870 --> 00:56:38,438 [engine rumbles] 1367 00:56:38,482 --> 00:56:40,179 [clattering] 1368 00:56:40,222 --> 00:56:42,486 Missed it by that much. 1369 00:56:42,529 --> 00:56:45,532 [tires squeal] 1370 00:56:45,576 --> 00:56:47,012 [booming] 1371 00:56:47,055 --> 00:56:48,666 [tires squeal] 1372 00:56:48,709 --> 00:56:50,624 [tense music] 1373 00:56:50,668 --> 00:56:53,192 [clattering] 1374 00:56:53,235 --> 00:56:55,716 [tense music] 1375 00:57:00,895 --> 00:57:02,636 He's still breathing, 99. 1376 00:57:02,680 --> 00:57:03,681 - [99] Good. 1377 00:57:06,118 --> 00:57:07,946 - Hello, this is Maxwell Smart. 1378 00:57:07,989 --> 00:57:10,383 Major Waterhouse is our double agent. 1379 00:57:10,427 --> 00:57:12,124 I want you to send an ambulance 1380 00:57:12,167 --> 00:57:14,692 to the Potomac Creek Trailer Park. 1381 00:57:14,735 --> 00:57:15,693 - [Woman] What? 1382 00:57:15,736 --> 00:57:16,607 - Who is this? 1383 00:57:16,650 --> 00:57:17,390 - [Woman] Minnie Lepkowitz. 1384 00:57:17,434 --> 00:57:18,739 - Minnie Lepkowitz? 1385 00:57:18,783 --> 00:57:20,132 What department are you in? 1386 00:57:20,175 --> 00:57:21,699 - [Minnie] Lingerie for small and tall. 1387 00:57:21,742 --> 00:57:23,396 - Lingerie for small and tall? 1388 00:57:23,440 --> 00:57:25,006 Sorry, wrong number. - Bye. 1389 00:57:25,050 --> 00:57:26,660 - Max! 1390 00:57:26,704 --> 00:57:28,706 - Hello, this is Maxwell-- - Lingerie for small and tall. 1391 00:57:28,749 --> 00:57:29,924 - Minnie? 1392 00:57:29,968 --> 00:57:31,273 Sorry. - That's okay. 1393 00:57:31,317 --> 00:57:32,753 - Max, look-- 1394 00:57:32,797 --> 00:57:33,841 - Hello, this-- - Lingerie for small and tall. 1395 00:57:33,885 --> 00:57:34,886 - Minnie, 1396 00:57:34,929 --> 00:57:36,104 will ya do me a favor? - Sure. 1397 00:57:36,148 --> 00:57:37,366 - I want you to call this number. 1398 00:57:37,410 --> 00:57:40,892 555-9300 and tell 'em to send an ambulance 1399 00:57:40,935 --> 00:57:42,633 to the Potomac Creek Trailer Park. 1400 00:57:42,676 --> 00:57:44,112 - [Minnie] You're joking. 1401 00:57:44,156 --> 00:57:45,723 - No, I'm not joking, I'm telling you the truth. 1402 00:57:45,766 --> 00:57:46,854 - [Minnie] How do I know that? 1403 00:57:46,898 --> 00:57:48,639 - Minnie, have I ever lied to ya? 1404 00:57:48,682 --> 00:57:49,857 - No. - Thanks. 1405 00:57:49,901 --> 00:57:52,381 - Max, this is a xerox of pages from my book. 1406 00:57:52,425 --> 00:57:53,818 - Then your hunch was right. 1407 00:57:53,861 --> 00:57:55,863 There is a connection between KAOS and the book company. 1408 00:57:55,907 --> 00:57:56,777 What pages? 1409 00:57:56,821 --> 00:57:59,737 - Chapter 14, the one about you. 1410 00:57:59,780 --> 00:58:02,696 - You didn't get to me until chapter 14? 1411 00:58:02,740 --> 00:58:04,002 What else was there to write about? 1412 00:58:04,045 --> 00:58:06,657 - Oh, Max, there were lots of fascinating cases. 1413 00:58:06,700 --> 00:58:07,745 - Really, like what? 1414 00:58:07,788 --> 00:58:09,442 - Well, you remember Agent 95. 1415 00:58:09,486 --> 00:58:10,878 - Yes. 1416 00:58:10,922 --> 00:58:12,445 - Remember the time he was kidnapped by KAOS 1417 00:58:12,489 --> 00:58:14,708 and when we got him back he was a total loss 1418 00:58:14,752 --> 00:58:15,970 and how he ranted and raved 1419 00:58:16,014 --> 00:58:17,972 and we couldn't understand a word he said. 1420 00:58:18,016 --> 00:58:19,800 - Whatever happened to Agent 95? 1421 00:58:19,844 --> 00:58:21,280 - He went into politics. 1422 00:58:21,323 --> 00:58:23,804 [tense music] 1423 00:58:25,806 --> 00:58:28,113 - Siegfried, I have bad news. 1424 00:58:28,156 --> 00:58:29,854 - Shtarker, that's terrible. 1425 00:58:29,897 --> 00:58:31,812 - All right, I have terrible news. 1426 00:58:31,856 --> 00:58:33,858 We no longer have an agent in place. 1427 00:58:33,901 --> 00:58:37,731 The major has been taken prisoner by Maxwell Smart. 1428 00:58:37,775 --> 00:58:41,735 - Smart, Smart, Smart, I have had it with Smart, up to here! 1429 00:58:43,171 --> 00:58:46,087 - I think maybe we should try and get rid of him. 1430 00:58:46,131 --> 00:58:47,872 - You think we should get rid of him? 1431 00:58:47,915 --> 00:58:50,135 What a brilliant idea. 1432 00:58:50,178 --> 00:58:53,138 [speaks foreign language] 1433 00:58:53,181 --> 00:58:54,400 I have a plan. 1434 00:58:54,443 --> 00:58:56,445 I will arrange a truce. 1435 00:58:56,489 --> 00:58:59,405 Smart and I will meet, as we have met in the past, 1436 00:58:59,448 --> 00:59:02,103 but it will be our last meeting. 1437 00:59:02,147 --> 00:59:05,019 I will personally eliminate him! 1438 00:59:05,063 --> 00:59:06,717 - Well, you'd better do it quick, Siegfried, 1439 00:59:06,760 --> 00:59:08,936 before they try and make the major talk. 1440 00:59:08,980 --> 00:59:10,764 - Do you think the major will talk 1441 00:59:10,808 --> 00:59:12,940 or will he swallow his poisoned pill? 1442 00:59:12,984 --> 00:59:16,770 - He will do exactly as you or I would do. 1443 00:59:16,814 --> 00:59:19,860 - Then how do we stop him from talking? 1444 00:59:21,383 --> 00:59:23,734 - Bad news, sir, we can't interrogate Major Waterhouse. 1445 00:59:23,777 --> 00:59:26,345 He took three poisoned pills, one after each meal. 1446 00:59:26,388 --> 00:59:28,869 - What kind of prescription is that, Max? 1447 00:59:28,913 --> 00:59:30,958 - Well, 99, it's a good thing we don't use 1448 00:59:31,002 --> 00:59:33,178 the KAOS pharmacy, listen to this. 1449 00:59:33,221 --> 00:59:38,052 Caution, do not drive if drowsiness or death occurs. 1450 00:59:38,096 --> 00:59:40,925 - Well, the good news is we've eliminated the mole, 1451 00:59:40,968 --> 00:59:44,276 but the bad news is we've also eliminated our best lead 1452 00:59:44,319 --> 00:59:47,453 to finding the mastermind behind this KAOS plot. 1453 00:59:47,496 --> 00:59:49,760 - We've still got the book company, sir. 1454 00:59:49,803 --> 00:59:51,805 - Yes, who would have access to your manuscript? 1455 00:59:51,849 --> 00:59:53,764 - Well, there's Lisa Spencer my editor, 1456 00:59:53,807 --> 00:59:55,766 and she has there or four assistants. 1457 00:59:55,809 --> 00:59:57,245 There's the publisher. 1458 00:59:57,289 --> 00:59:59,030 For that matter, it could be anyone at the book company. 1459 00:59:59,073 --> 01:00:00,422 - Why's that? 1460 01:00:00,466 --> 01:00:01,728 - They don't keep my manuscript under lock and key. 1461 01:00:01,772 --> 01:00:03,121 Anyone could've copied it. 1462 01:00:03,164 --> 01:00:04,470 - Obviously, someone did. 1463 01:00:04,513 --> 01:00:07,081 - KAOS could've bribed someone at the book company. 1464 01:00:07,125 --> 01:00:08,387 I'll follow up on that, sir. 1465 01:00:08,430 --> 01:00:09,823 [clears throat] I mean, 1466 01:00:09,867 --> 01:00:12,478 the agency might want to investigate that. 1467 01:00:12,521 --> 01:00:14,741 - Mrs. Smart, at first I was upset 1468 01:00:14,785 --> 01:00:17,439 at your accidental involvement in this case, 1469 01:00:17,483 --> 01:00:21,356 but when it became apparent that your knowledge 1470 01:00:21,400 --> 01:00:23,794 and your expertise could be invaluable, 1471 01:00:23,837 --> 01:00:27,536 well, I conferred with the president and he agrees with me. 1472 01:00:27,580 --> 01:00:31,018 I'm reactivating you, effective immediately. 1473 01:00:31,062 --> 01:00:33,194 - Thank you very much, Commander. 1474 01:00:33,238 --> 01:00:35,501 - Excuse me, Commander, Schmelding is here. 1475 01:00:35,544 --> 01:00:37,111 - What's a schmelding? 1476 01:00:37,155 --> 01:00:39,461 - Professor Helmut Schmelding, 1477 01:00:39,505 --> 01:00:42,551 better known to you as Hamlet Spalding. 1478 01:00:42,595 --> 01:00:45,206 We managed to decipher the tapes. 1479 01:00:45,250 --> 01:00:48,079 - Of course, Helmut Schmelding. 1480 01:00:48,122 --> 01:00:49,471 Hamlet Spalding! 1481 01:00:51,038 --> 01:00:53,171 Who is Helmet Schmelling? 1482 01:00:53,214 --> 01:00:56,522 - Dr. Helmut Schmelding is a world renowned 1483 01:00:56,565 --> 01:00:59,873 atmospheric physicist and probably the only man 1484 01:00:59,917 --> 01:01:03,355 capable of dismantling the KAOS weather machine. 1485 01:01:03,398 --> 01:01:04,399 Send him in. 1486 01:01:04,443 --> 01:01:05,444 - Who? 1487 01:01:05,487 --> 01:01:08,186 - Dr. Helmut Schmelding. 1488 01:01:08,229 --> 01:01:09,230 - Good idea. 1489 01:01:14,105 --> 01:01:15,933 - All right, Siegfried, hold it right there. 1490 01:01:15,976 --> 01:01:17,978 One move and you're an obituary. 1491 01:01:18,022 --> 01:01:20,851 - Max, this is Dr. Helmut Schmelding. 1492 01:01:20,894 --> 01:01:22,591 - This is not Dr. Helmut Schmelding. 1493 01:01:22,635 --> 01:01:25,464 This is Conrad Siegfried a KAOS killer. 1494 01:01:25,507 --> 01:01:26,465 Am I right, 99? 1495 01:01:26,508 --> 01:01:28,162 - He certainly looks like him. 1496 01:01:28,206 --> 01:01:31,949 - Commander, this man and this number are mistaken. 1497 01:01:31,992 --> 01:01:33,951 Look, I can prove it. 1498 01:01:33,994 --> 01:01:35,082 - Drop that gun. 1499 01:01:35,126 --> 01:01:36,605 Drop that card. 1500 01:01:36,649 --> 01:01:38,956 - Listen to what my card says. 1501 01:01:38,999 --> 01:01:40,479 Professor Helmut Schmelding, 1502 01:01:40,522 --> 01:01:43,438 world renowned atmospheric physicist. 1503 01:01:43,482 --> 01:01:44,962 - Anyone can print a card. 1504 01:01:45,005 --> 01:01:47,442 - Yeah, but this is engraved and in four colors. 1505 01:01:47,486 --> 01:01:48,835 It's not a cheapy. 1506 01:01:48,879 --> 01:01:50,532 - Let me see that. 1507 01:01:50,576 --> 01:01:52,839 - Oh, yes, engraved, four colors. 1508 01:01:52,883 --> 01:01:54,406 What do you think, 99? 1509 01:01:54,449 --> 01:01:57,365 - Professor Schmelding's resemblance to Siegfried is uncanny 1510 01:01:57,409 --> 01:01:59,237 even the scar is the same. 1511 01:01:59,280 --> 01:02:01,979 - I got in a duel in Heidelberg. 1512 01:02:02,022 --> 01:02:03,241 - With whom? 1513 01:02:03,284 --> 01:02:06,157 - My, all right, all right, I confess. 1514 01:02:07,375 --> 01:02:10,465 That good for nothing Siegfried is my brother. 1515 01:02:10,509 --> 01:02:12,554 - How come you have different last names? 1516 01:02:12,598 --> 01:02:15,166 - Schmelding is my mother's maiden name. 1517 01:02:15,209 --> 01:02:16,428 - That's remarkable. 1518 01:02:16,471 --> 01:02:18,125 You're truly identical twins. 1519 01:02:18,169 --> 01:02:20,475 - Actually, identical triplets. 1520 01:02:20,519 --> 01:02:22,434 - You mean you and Siegfried are triplets? 1521 01:02:22,477 --> 01:02:24,610 - No, there are three of us. 1522 01:02:24,653 --> 01:02:27,308 - You mean to tell me that you have another brother 1523 01:02:27,352 --> 01:02:29,963 who looks exactly like you and Siegfried? 1524 01:02:30,007 --> 01:02:31,486 - No, a sister. 1525 01:02:31,530 --> 01:02:33,662 - I bet she has a tough time getting dates. 1526 01:02:33,706 --> 01:02:35,969 [phone rings] 1527 01:02:36,013 --> 01:02:37,318 - Yes, sir, Mr. President. 1528 01:02:37,362 --> 01:02:39,146 - [President] Activate your video screen. 1529 01:02:39,190 --> 01:02:39,973 - What, now? 1530 01:02:40,017 --> 01:02:40,974 - [President] It's KAOS. 1531 01:02:41,018 --> 01:02:42,497 - Yes, sir. 1532 01:02:42,541 --> 01:02:44,195 That was the president. 1533 01:02:44,238 --> 01:02:47,154 KAOS is preparing to broadcast on our restricted network. 1534 01:02:47,198 --> 01:02:49,983 Larrabee, turn on the TV. 1535 01:02:50,027 --> 01:02:51,985 - I think Hymie should be in on this. 1536 01:02:52,029 --> 01:02:54,553 Hymie, drop everything and get in here! 1537 01:02:54,596 --> 01:02:56,990 [clattering] 1538 01:03:04,955 --> 01:03:08,175 [guitar strums] 1539 01:03:08,219 --> 01:03:12,310 ♪ Follow my instructions and we'll have no problems 1540 01:03:12,353 --> 01:03:16,009 ♪ Pay the ransom quickly or else it's kaput 1541 01:03:16,053 --> 01:03:19,534 ♪ Or else it's kaput 1542 01:03:19,578 --> 01:03:22,494 - Our leader is not pleased that you have reactivated 1543 01:03:22,537 --> 01:03:27,020 yourselves and Maxwell Smart, so in retaliation 1544 01:03:27,064 --> 01:03:31,372 I am now reducing the payoff time to 72 hours. 1545 01:03:31,416 --> 01:03:34,549 Furthermore, I demand a meeting with Maxwell Smart 1546 01:03:34,593 --> 01:03:39,250 to discuss how the $250 billion will be delivered. 1547 01:03:39,293 --> 01:03:41,252 Act immediately or else 1548 01:03:43,297 --> 01:03:44,603 I will sing again. 1549 01:03:47,736 --> 01:03:49,042 - I don't like it. 1550 01:03:49,086 --> 01:03:51,131 You don't need a meeting to discuss a payoff. 1551 01:03:51,175 --> 01:03:54,352 - I agree, 99, there's something rotten in Detroit. 1552 01:03:54,395 --> 01:03:55,657 - That's Denmark, Max. 1553 01:03:55,701 --> 01:03:57,094 - Oh, well, 1554 01:03:57,137 --> 01:03:59,052 things haven't been that great in Detroit either. 1555 01:03:59,096 --> 01:04:01,489 - They've given us 72 hours, it can't be done. 1556 01:04:01,533 --> 01:04:03,013 - I have a plan, sir. 1557 01:04:03,056 --> 01:04:04,536 - Good, let's hear it. 1558 01:04:04,579 --> 01:04:06,016 And remember, everyone, 1559 01:04:06,059 --> 01:04:08,192 what Max says is not to be taken outside this room. 1560 01:04:08,235 --> 01:04:10,063 - Well, if this is top secret, 1561 01:04:10,107 --> 01:04:13,197 then it should have maximum security. 1562 01:04:17,810 --> 01:04:19,768 - No hover cover. 1563 01:04:19,812 --> 01:04:22,206 - I can understand your feelings, sir, 1564 01:04:22,249 --> 01:04:25,252 but the manual clearly states that we should have 1565 01:04:25,296 --> 01:04:28,647 an anti-bugging device in a maximum security situation. 1566 01:04:28,690 --> 01:04:30,779 Fortunately, we have a backup. 1567 01:04:30,823 --> 01:04:33,130 Dr. Denton's hall of hush. 1568 01:04:43,140 --> 01:04:46,317 - The hall of hush represents the crowning achievement 1569 01:04:46,360 --> 01:04:48,449 in my already brilliant career. 1570 01:04:48,493 --> 01:04:51,235 It is capable of defeating the most sophisticated 1571 01:04:51,278 --> 01:04:53,019 bugging devices. 1572 01:04:53,063 --> 01:04:54,499 How, you may ask. 1573 01:04:54,542 --> 01:04:56,457 - I wouldn't ask that. 1574 01:04:56,501 --> 01:04:59,591 - We do it by converting speech into silence. 1575 01:04:59,634 --> 01:05:02,550 When I close this door and the red light goes on, 1576 01:05:02,594 --> 01:05:04,596 the voice mufflers will be activated, 1577 01:05:04,639 --> 01:05:08,643 and you will be able to see, and I emphasize see, 1578 01:05:08,687 --> 01:05:10,732 what my genius has wrought. 1579 01:05:14,562 --> 01:05:16,521 [beeping] 1580 01:05:20,655 --> 01:05:23,615 [soft tinkling music] 1581 01:06:45,523 --> 01:06:47,525 [beeps] 1582 01:06:48,874 --> 01:06:52,312 - The security manual no longer exists. 1583 01:06:53,705 --> 01:06:56,360 Now, Smart, you will tell me your plan, 1584 01:06:56,403 --> 01:06:58,579 you will tell it to me now, and you will tell it to me 1585 01:06:58,623 --> 01:07:00,625 in front of all these people. 1586 01:07:00,668 --> 01:07:03,802 - We capture Siegfried, substitute Schmelding for him, 1587 01:07:03,845 --> 01:07:06,587 then we follow Schmelding to KAOS headquarters. 1588 01:07:06,631 --> 01:07:07,675 He'll let us in. 1589 01:07:07,719 --> 01:07:11,157 It's the old, old Trojan horse trick. 1590 01:07:11,201 --> 01:07:12,593 - That could work. 1591 01:07:12,637 --> 01:07:14,900 99, are you sure this isn't your idea? 1592 01:07:14,943 --> 01:07:16,510 - No, it was Max's. 1593 01:07:17,642 --> 01:07:18,947 - Professor, 1594 01:07:18,991 --> 01:07:20,514 how do you feel about impersonating your brother? 1595 01:07:20,558 --> 01:07:24,605 - Not good, I really don't want to get involved 1596 01:07:24,649 --> 01:07:26,607 in any spy hocus pocus. 1597 01:07:27,608 --> 01:07:29,610 - But, Professor, once we locate KAOS, 1598 01:07:29,654 --> 01:07:31,482 we can destroy their evil machine, 1599 01:07:31,525 --> 01:07:33,962 and once and for all make the world safe for shopping, 1600 01:07:34,006 --> 01:07:35,442 shopping, shopping, 1601 01:07:35,486 --> 01:07:36,661 shopping. - Oh my, he's in a verbal 1602 01:07:36,704 --> 01:07:38,619 S mode! - Scheme, sleeping, 1603 01:07:38,663 --> 01:07:41,579 sledding, sandwiches, sex, singing. 1604 01:07:41,622 --> 01:07:43,581 ♪ Flonnie, how I love ya, how I love ya 1605 01:07:43,624 --> 01:07:44,625 ♪ My dear old 1606 01:07:44,669 --> 01:07:46,845 Sorry, sir, sir, sir, sir. 1607 01:07:48,020 --> 01:07:50,457 - Gentlemen, we are losing valuable time. 1608 01:07:50,501 --> 01:07:54,461 Professor, I know we're asking you to do a lot more 1609 01:07:54,505 --> 01:07:57,421 than you bargained for, but we really don't have any choice. 1610 01:07:57,464 --> 01:07:59,466 The fate of our country's at stake. 1611 01:07:59,510 --> 01:08:01,599 - You're the only one who can impersonate Siegfried, 1612 01:08:01,642 --> 01:08:03,949 because you're the only one who looks like him. 1613 01:08:03,992 --> 01:08:06,604 Unless of course your sister is in town. 1614 01:08:06,647 --> 01:08:08,997 - All right, I'll give it a try. 1615 01:08:09,041 --> 01:08:12,610 - Thank you, Professor, thank you very, very much. 1616 01:08:12,653 --> 01:08:14,742 Hymie, put the word out on the street 1617 01:08:14,786 --> 01:08:17,005 that Max will meet with Siegfried. 1618 01:08:17,049 --> 01:08:19,225 - Other than being my brother, 1619 01:08:19,269 --> 01:08:21,532 what is the worst thing that could happen to me? 1620 01:08:21,575 --> 01:08:22,881 - Well, you could be killed. 1621 01:08:22,924 --> 01:08:24,274 - Oh, boy. 1622 01:08:24,317 --> 01:08:25,710 - Or you might have to kill someone. 1623 01:08:25,753 --> 01:08:28,365 - No, you can't ask me to kill a person. 1624 01:08:28,408 --> 01:08:29,975 I'm a scientist. 1625 01:08:30,018 --> 01:08:33,370 We only do continents, countries, occasionally a convention, 1626 01:08:33,413 --> 01:08:35,285 but a person, never. 1627 01:08:35,328 --> 01:08:37,852 - Oh no, Commander did I hear you tell Hymie 1628 01:08:37,896 --> 01:08:39,811 to put the word out on the street? 1629 01:08:39,854 --> 01:08:40,638 - Yes. 1630 01:08:40,681 --> 01:08:42,030 - Come on, Max! 1631 01:08:42,074 --> 01:08:43,336 [tense music] 1632 01:08:43,380 --> 01:08:44,598 [groans] 1633 01:08:44,642 --> 01:08:46,992 [tense music] 1634 01:09:18,763 --> 01:09:20,504 - Well, we'll just have to chalk this up 1635 01:09:20,547 --> 01:09:23,724 to a precious waste of time and chalk. 1636 01:09:24,725 --> 01:09:27,032 [tense music] 1637 01:09:28,555 --> 01:09:31,863 [speaks foreign language] 1638 01:09:36,911 --> 01:09:39,871 Shtarker, [speaks foreign language]. 1639 01:09:39,914 --> 01:09:41,829 - Siegfried, what is it? 1640 01:09:41,873 --> 01:09:43,135 Oh, Siegfried, 1641 01:09:43,179 --> 01:09:44,702 you really should speak with the cleaning crews. 1642 01:09:44,745 --> 01:09:47,400 They seem to have missed this huge slab of concrete 1643 01:09:47,444 --> 01:09:48,358 on your desk. 1644 01:09:48,401 --> 01:09:49,620 [speaks foreign language] 1645 01:09:49,663 --> 01:09:52,536 - Smart's message is written on this concrete. 1646 01:09:52,579 --> 01:09:53,624 - I see. 1647 01:09:54,973 --> 01:09:56,931 What exactly does this mean? 1648 01:09:56,975 --> 01:09:59,934 - I think the meaning is perfectly clear. 1649 01:09:59,978 --> 01:10:01,588 - Walter loves Eddie. 1650 01:10:01,632 --> 01:10:04,504 - No, you stupid, in the orange chalk. 1651 01:10:04,548 --> 01:10:07,115 Maxwell Smart will meet with Siegfried. 1652 01:10:07,159 --> 01:10:08,943 - Yippee-yi-o-ki-yay! 1653 01:10:09,944 --> 01:10:12,077 - Shtarker, this is KAOS. 1654 01:10:12,120 --> 01:10:14,862 We don't yippee-yi-o-ki-yay here! 1655 01:10:14,906 --> 01:10:17,561 - Forgive me, I know we don't yippee-yi-o-ki-yay here. 1656 01:10:17,604 --> 01:10:21,086 - Occasionally, a restrained ya-hoo is all right. 1657 01:10:21,129 --> 01:10:22,957 [phone rings] 1658 01:10:23,001 --> 01:10:24,959 - Siegfried's office. - Shtarker. 1659 01:10:25,003 --> 01:10:26,396 - Ja, my leader. 1660 01:10:26,439 --> 01:10:27,658 - [Leader] What is going on there? 1661 01:10:27,701 --> 01:10:28,659 - We have good news for you. 1662 01:10:28,702 --> 01:10:30,356 - I tell the good news. 1663 01:10:30,400 --> 01:10:31,575 [speaks foreign language] 1664 01:10:31,618 --> 01:10:34,621 Maxwell Smart has agreed to meet with me. 1665 01:10:34,665 --> 01:10:36,493 If you have nothing better to do this afternoon, 1666 01:10:36,536 --> 01:10:40,453 you might find it amusing to attend his funeral. 1667 01:10:40,497 --> 01:10:41,149 [speaks foreign language] 1668 01:10:41,193 --> 01:10:42,150 - [Leader] Carry on. 1669 01:10:42,194 --> 01:10:45,937 [speaks foreign language] 1670 01:10:45,980 --> 01:10:48,809 - He's putting it on his calendar. 1671 01:10:49,984 --> 01:10:50,811 - Ya-hoo! 1672 01:10:54,641 --> 01:10:56,948 [tense music] 1673 01:11:08,220 --> 01:11:11,310 - I gotta remember this is not automatic. 1674 01:11:11,354 --> 01:11:13,747 - Max, I can't believe me, I'm all butterflies. 1675 01:11:13,791 --> 01:11:15,271 Do you realize how long it's been 1676 01:11:15,314 --> 01:11:18,012 since we've done something this exciting together? 1677 01:11:18,056 --> 01:11:21,277 - What was wrong with Tuesday night? 1678 01:11:21,320 --> 01:11:23,279 - Max, Siegfried's here. 1679 01:11:31,896 --> 01:11:33,941 - What made Smart pick this park? 1680 01:11:33,985 --> 01:11:36,727 - Smart is a sentimentalist. 1681 01:11:36,770 --> 01:11:39,773 This is where Maxwell and I first met, 1682 01:11:39,817 --> 01:11:43,821 under that tree on that teeny-weeny bench there. 1683 01:11:45,692 --> 01:11:49,000 [speaks foreign language] 1684 01:12:04,798 --> 01:12:07,323 - Well, Siegfried, you're looking as evil as ever. 1685 01:12:07,366 --> 01:12:10,064 - And you, Smart, you're looking remarkably well, 1686 01:12:10,108 --> 01:12:11,718 I'm sorry to say. 1687 01:12:16,897 --> 01:12:20,771 Do you mind if we frisk ourselves in a private place? 1688 01:12:20,814 --> 01:12:21,772 - Siegfried! 1689 01:12:21,815 --> 01:12:24,862 - As we agreed inside the building. 1690 01:12:24,905 --> 01:12:25,819 - Oh, okay. 1691 01:12:38,919 --> 01:12:42,053 - All right, let's get the frisking over with. 1692 01:12:42,096 --> 01:12:43,707 - Okay, I'll frisk you first. 1693 01:12:43,750 --> 01:12:45,752 - Why can't I frisk you first? 1694 01:12:45,796 --> 01:12:49,713 - Because I said first that I'll frisk you first. 1695 01:12:49,756 --> 01:12:52,672 - What if you frisk me first and don't find a gun, 1696 01:12:52,716 --> 01:12:54,152 then before I can frisk you, 1697 01:12:54,195 --> 01:12:56,154 you put out your gun and shoot me? 1698 01:12:56,197 --> 01:12:57,808 - I wouldn't do that. 1699 01:12:57,851 --> 01:13:00,985 - I would, that's why I wanted to go first. 1700 01:13:01,028 --> 01:13:03,117 - Okay, Siegfried, I've got an idea. 1701 01:13:03,161 --> 01:13:04,249 - What is it? 1702 01:13:05,163 --> 01:13:06,947 - I'll frisk half of you, 1703 01:13:06,991 --> 01:13:09,123 then you frisk half of me, 1704 01:13:09,167 --> 01:13:10,951 then I'll frisk the other half of you, 1705 01:13:10,995 --> 01:13:12,779 then you frisk the other half of me. 1706 01:13:12,823 --> 01:13:15,391 Then-- - Maxwell, you stupid, 1707 01:13:15,434 --> 01:13:17,958 I called this meeting, if I can't frisk you first, 1708 01:13:18,002 --> 01:13:19,699 I'm leaving. 1709 01:13:19,743 --> 01:13:23,834 - All right, all right, you can frisk me first. 1710 01:13:25,836 --> 01:13:28,839 [suspenseful music] 1711 01:13:34,366 --> 01:13:35,715 - What is this? 1712 01:13:35,759 --> 01:13:37,978 - They're my suicide pills. 1713 01:13:38,022 --> 01:13:39,763 - Suicide pills? 1714 01:13:39,806 --> 01:13:42,026 - Yes, they come in all different flavors: 1715 01:13:42,069 --> 01:13:44,420 orange, raspberry, strawberry. 1716 01:13:44,463 --> 01:13:45,812 - Raspberry? 1717 01:13:45,856 --> 01:13:47,988 - Would you like to try one? 1718 01:13:48,032 --> 01:13:51,035 [suspenseful music] 1719 01:13:54,255 --> 01:13:55,082 Happy? 1720 01:13:56,867 --> 01:13:59,173 Okay, now I frisk you. 1721 01:13:59,217 --> 01:14:00,479 - No! 1722 01:14:00,523 --> 01:14:03,874 Or else you would find this, hands up, Smart! 1723 01:14:03,917 --> 01:14:05,745 [tense music] 1724 01:14:05,789 --> 01:14:08,444 - Okay, I'll put up my hands and 1725 01:14:10,837 --> 01:14:11,838 my foot. 1726 01:14:11,882 --> 01:14:14,928 [tense music] 1727 01:14:14,972 --> 01:14:17,365 - The new and improved version from KAOS. 1728 01:14:17,409 --> 01:14:18,802 [tense music] 1729 01:14:18,845 --> 01:14:19,933 - Surprise. 1730 01:14:19,977 --> 01:14:22,458 [tense music] 1731 01:14:25,330 --> 01:14:26,505 Hymie, 1732 01:14:26,549 --> 01:14:28,464 bring in the professor. 1733 01:14:36,297 --> 01:14:37,864 - [Siegfried] Helmut. 1734 01:14:37,908 --> 01:14:39,387 - Hello, Conrad. 1735 01:14:39,431 --> 01:14:41,781 - What are you doing here, where did you come from? 1736 01:14:41,825 --> 01:14:42,826 - Berlin. 1737 01:14:42,869 --> 01:14:43,914 - How is Mother? 1738 01:14:43,957 --> 01:14:45,393 - Why ask now? 1739 01:14:45,437 --> 01:14:48,222 You don't care, you never call, you never write. 1740 01:14:48,266 --> 01:14:49,528 - How well I know that feeling. 1741 01:14:49,572 --> 01:14:51,008 - Hymie. 1742 01:14:51,051 --> 01:14:53,053 - I wrote, you never gave her my letters. 1743 01:14:53,097 --> 01:14:54,011 - Liar. 1744 01:14:54,054 --> 01:14:55,491 [speaks foreign language] 1745 01:14:55,534 --> 01:14:58,494 - All right, enough of this family chitchat. 1746 01:14:58,537 --> 01:15:00,539 Siegfried, strip. 1747 01:15:00,583 --> 01:15:02,062 - What do you have in mind? 1748 01:15:02,106 --> 01:15:03,977 - Give your clothes to the professor. 1749 01:15:04,021 --> 01:15:05,544 - So that's it? 1750 01:15:05,588 --> 01:15:08,547 You're going to have goody two-shoes impersonate me. 1751 01:15:08,591 --> 01:15:10,897 Ridiculous, it won't work. 1752 01:15:10,941 --> 01:15:14,814 He's a teacher's pet, this sissy, a knockwurst polisher. 1753 01:15:14,858 --> 01:15:17,425 Name one person in KAOS who will believe 1754 01:15:17,469 --> 01:15:19,558 he's Siegfried the malevolent. 1755 01:15:19,602 --> 01:15:23,431 - Shtarker will believe it, and that's all we need. 1756 01:15:23,475 --> 01:15:24,563 - True. 1757 01:15:24,607 --> 01:15:27,174 Ah, Smart, how can you do this? 1758 01:15:27,218 --> 01:15:29,437 We had the equivalent of a truce, 1759 01:15:29,481 --> 01:15:31,091 and you have betrayed me. 1760 01:15:31,135 --> 01:15:32,266 - I have betrayed you? 1761 01:15:32,310 --> 01:15:33,572 You were going to kill me. 1762 01:15:33,616 --> 01:15:36,488 - Yes, but I'm evil and cold. 1763 01:15:36,532 --> 01:15:38,882 Could I have the bathrobe? 1764 01:15:38,925 --> 01:15:42,363 - Well, Siegfried, we did have sort of a truce. 1765 01:15:42,407 --> 01:15:44,888 - Well, what are you going to do about it? 1766 01:15:44,931 --> 01:15:48,282 - Well, after this is all over, I'm gonna release you, 1767 01:15:48,326 --> 01:15:50,937 and you can keep the bathrobe forever. 1768 01:15:50,981 --> 01:15:52,591 Hymie, get him outta here. 1769 01:15:52,635 --> 01:15:56,334 [speaks foreign language] 1770 01:16:01,165 --> 01:16:02,993 - And you can quote me. 1771 01:16:04,516 --> 01:16:06,605 - All right, Maxwell, 1772 01:16:06,649 --> 01:16:09,129 do I look all right? 1773 01:16:09,173 --> 01:16:11,479 - No, you look just like Siegfried. 1774 01:16:11,523 --> 01:16:13,307 It's perfect. 1775 01:16:13,351 --> 01:16:14,918 You ready? 1776 01:16:14,961 --> 01:16:15,614 - I'm ready. 1777 01:16:15,658 --> 01:16:17,137 [gun bangs] 1778 01:16:17,181 --> 01:16:20,619 - Get going, you just killed Maxwell Smart. 1779 01:16:20,663 --> 01:16:23,143 [tense music] 1780 01:16:30,194 --> 01:16:32,631 [tires squeal] 1781 01:16:32,675 --> 01:16:35,199 [tense music] 1782 01:16:38,681 --> 01:16:41,248 [yells] 1783 01:16:41,292 --> 01:16:44,904 - Step on it, Maxwell, we'll lose them. 1784 01:16:44,948 --> 01:16:45,905 What's the matter? 1785 01:16:45,949 --> 01:16:47,515 - I can't get it out of reverse. 1786 01:16:47,559 --> 01:16:48,473 - You must've jammed it. 1787 01:16:48,516 --> 01:16:49,387 Where's the manual? 1788 01:16:49,430 --> 01:16:51,258 - Look in the glove compartment. 1789 01:16:51,302 --> 01:16:53,609 [tense music] 1790 01:16:56,960 --> 01:16:58,178 - It's not in here. 1791 01:16:58,222 --> 01:16:59,615 They're gonna get away, Max. 1792 01:16:59,658 --> 01:17:01,355 - No, they're not. 1793 01:17:01,399 --> 01:17:03,662 [tense music] 1794 01:18:00,458 --> 01:18:03,417 Must've gone into one of these buildings. 1795 01:18:03,461 --> 01:18:05,071 - [99] Do you think it'll occur to the professor 1796 01:18:05,115 --> 01:18:07,421 to leave a door open? 1797 01:18:07,465 --> 01:18:09,728 - Siegfried, you left the door open. 1798 01:18:09,772 --> 01:18:11,643 - Oh, how careless of me. 1799 01:18:39,105 --> 01:18:43,283 Shtarker, I think I lost my pen, I'll be right back. 1800 01:18:44,676 --> 01:18:46,678 - Max, most of these buildings are warehouses. 1801 01:18:46,722 --> 01:18:48,027 - I know that, 99. 1802 01:18:48,071 --> 01:18:49,637 - Pinter, Dimnete, and Stone has a warehouse 1803 01:18:49,681 --> 01:18:51,291 in this part of town. 1804 01:18:51,335 --> 01:18:55,165 Why don't we look for a building with books in it? 1805 01:18:57,558 --> 01:18:58,864 - What are you doing? 1806 01:18:58,908 --> 01:19:00,605 - Oh, I thought I might've dropped my pen outside. 1807 01:19:00,648 --> 01:19:04,783 - It's only a pen, we have hundreds of them, let's go. 1808 01:19:06,524 --> 01:19:07,307 Siegfried. 1809 01:19:07,351 --> 01:19:08,221 - Yeah? 1810 01:19:08,265 --> 01:19:10,658 - You left the door open again. 1811 01:19:10,702 --> 01:19:12,704 - What is with me today? 1812 01:19:17,535 --> 01:19:18,318 [lock clicks] 1813 01:19:18,362 --> 01:19:20,668 [tense music] 1814 01:19:30,722 --> 01:19:31,810 - It's locked. 1815 01:19:32,855 --> 01:19:34,291 It's a deadbolt, Max. 1816 01:19:34,334 --> 01:19:36,380 You can't open this door with a credit card. 1817 01:19:36,423 --> 01:19:40,253 - This is Dr. Denton's laser beam credit card. 1818 01:19:41,820 --> 01:19:44,736 [beeps] 1819 01:19:44,780 --> 01:19:46,869 [crackling] 1820 01:19:52,222 --> 01:19:53,919 - Ah, this belongs in the lab. 1821 01:19:53,963 --> 01:19:56,704 Would you open the door for me, Siegfried? 1822 01:19:56,748 --> 01:19:59,272 - I don't seem to have my key. 1823 01:19:59,316 --> 01:20:00,447 - Key? 1824 01:20:00,491 --> 01:20:03,276 - I don't remember the code. 1825 01:20:03,320 --> 01:20:05,191 - Oh, hold this for me for a moment. 1826 01:20:05,235 --> 01:20:07,324 Let me refresh your memory, Siegfried. 1827 01:20:07,367 --> 01:20:09,282 First, you take a copy of a book 1828 01:20:09,326 --> 01:20:13,025 that begins with the letter I, Ivanhoe. 1829 01:20:13,069 --> 01:20:16,072 Then, you take a copy of a book that begins 1830 01:20:16,115 --> 01:20:19,205 with the letter N, Nicholas Nickleby. 1831 01:20:20,293 --> 01:20:23,340 You put them together, you have IN. 1832 01:20:23,383 --> 01:20:25,951 [tense music] 1833 01:20:25,995 --> 01:20:26,865 - Oh. 1834 01:20:26,909 --> 01:20:27,953 - Move. 1835 01:20:27,997 --> 01:20:30,303 [tense music] 1836 01:20:35,004 --> 01:20:37,354 [crackling] 1837 01:20:41,271 --> 01:20:45,318 [groans] [sizzling] 1838 01:20:46,537 --> 01:20:48,539 [beeps] 1839 01:20:50,976 --> 01:20:53,283 [tense music] 1840 01:21:00,377 --> 01:21:04,076 - Max, do you mind if I try something out on you? 1841 01:21:04,120 --> 01:21:07,123 - Well, shouldn't we wait till the mission is over, 99? 1842 01:21:07,166 --> 01:21:09,473 - No, Max, it's apparent who's the mastermind 1843 01:21:09,516 --> 01:21:10,996 behind this operation. 1844 01:21:11,040 --> 01:21:13,346 - I thought so myself. 1845 01:21:13,390 --> 01:21:14,260 Who? 1846 01:21:14,304 --> 01:21:15,914 - My publisher Nicholas Dimente. 1847 01:21:15,958 --> 01:21:18,003 He learned about KAOS, about Dr. Hottentot, 1848 01:21:18,047 --> 01:21:19,962 even about you from my manuscript. 1849 01:21:20,005 --> 01:21:22,225 Oh, Max, I divulged too much. 1850 01:21:22,268 --> 01:21:25,358 I didn't need to list all of your idiosyncrasies. 1851 01:21:25,402 --> 01:21:27,012 - My idiosyncrasies? 1852 01:21:27,056 --> 01:21:28,448 - Pages 127 to 145. 1853 01:21:29,841 --> 01:21:31,321 - Why couldn't ya just write a diet book 1854 01:21:31,364 --> 01:21:32,844 like everybody else? 1855 01:21:32,888 --> 01:21:34,541 - Oh, Max, it was me who put your life in danger. 1856 01:21:34,585 --> 01:21:36,282 I'll never forgive myself for that, Max. 1857 01:21:36,326 --> 01:21:38,023 I'll never forgive myself. 1858 01:21:38,067 --> 01:21:40,199 - Ya have to forgive yourself, 99. 1859 01:21:40,243 --> 01:21:41,548 - Okay. 1860 01:21:41,592 --> 01:21:44,551 - But you could take a little time. 1861 01:21:44,595 --> 01:21:47,903 [soft chattering] 1862 01:21:47,946 --> 01:21:48,860 Did ya hear that? 1863 01:21:48,904 --> 01:21:49,905 It sounded like the professor. 1864 01:21:49,948 --> 01:21:52,081 - It came from down there. 1865 01:21:58,043 --> 01:21:58,914 Max, look. 1866 01:22:01,351 --> 01:22:02,961 Hansel and Gretel. 1867 01:22:03,005 --> 01:22:04,963 Max, do you remember the story of Hansel and Gretel? 1868 01:22:05,007 --> 01:22:07,835 - Of course, 99, but I don't have time to tell it to ya now. 1869 01:22:07,879 --> 01:22:10,316 - The children use crumbs to leave a trail. 1870 01:22:10,360 --> 01:22:13,058 The professor used books instead of crumbs. 1871 01:22:13,102 --> 01:22:14,538 - Well, we're lucky there's still a trail, 1872 01:22:14,581 --> 01:22:18,934 but then again, there are very few birds that eat books. 1873 01:22:24,417 --> 01:22:26,202 - We're out of books. 1874 01:22:26,245 --> 01:22:27,246 Where's headquarters? 1875 01:22:27,290 --> 01:22:28,508 Where's Dimente? 1876 01:22:28,552 --> 01:22:30,380 - What makes you so sure it's Dimente? 1877 01:22:30,423 --> 01:22:32,034 Couldn't it be your editor, Lisa? 1878 01:22:32,077 --> 01:22:33,165 - It has to be Dimente. 1879 01:22:33,209 --> 01:22:34,166 - Have I ever met him? 1880 01:22:34,210 --> 01:22:35,820 - No, I don't think so. 1881 01:22:35,863 --> 01:22:38,170 - Little under six feet tall, gray hair, black brows, 1882 01:22:38,214 --> 01:22:39,171 a mustache? 1883 01:22:39,215 --> 01:22:40,303 - Yes, when did you meet him? 1884 01:22:40,346 --> 01:22:41,217 - Just now. 1885 01:22:41,260 --> 01:22:43,175 [gasps] 1886 01:22:43,219 --> 01:22:44,524 - Well, Mr. Smart. 1887 01:22:49,399 --> 01:22:51,357 - Don't you think this is a little out of fashion, 1888 01:22:51,401 --> 01:22:53,446 to say nothing of barbaric? 1889 01:22:53,490 --> 01:22:55,405 - Extremely uncivilized, 1890 01:22:55,448 --> 01:22:57,494 but definitely pragmatic. 1891 01:22:57,537 --> 01:22:59,322 Your book portrays you as an escape artist 1892 01:22:59,365 --> 01:23:01,454 of extraordinary caliber. 1893 01:23:01,498 --> 01:23:04,675 I didn't wanna become a new chapter in the revised edition. 1894 01:23:04,718 --> 01:23:07,460 - I can't reconcile your working with KAOS. 1895 01:23:07,504 --> 01:23:09,375 - I am KAOS. 1896 01:23:09,419 --> 01:23:11,464 I acquired the controlling shares a year ago. 1897 01:23:11,508 --> 01:23:13,336 - But you're a prestigious publisher, 1898 01:23:13,379 --> 01:23:15,381 a man who believes in education, a man who-- 1899 01:23:15,425 --> 01:23:17,427 - There are 40 million people in our country 1900 01:23:17,470 --> 01:23:20,473 who cannot read or write over the fourth-grade level. 1901 01:23:20,517 --> 01:23:22,432 - What does that have to do with KAOS? 1902 01:23:22,475 --> 01:23:27,437 - With $250 billion, KAOS will publish the 150 great books, 1903 01:23:27,480 --> 01:23:29,787 make them required reading. 1904 01:23:29,830 --> 01:23:32,442 Those who don't read them will be killed. 1905 01:23:32,485 --> 01:23:35,271 But Americans will be forced to learn from Aristotle, 1906 01:23:35,314 --> 01:23:37,621 Euclid, Shakespeare, Twain. 1907 01:23:37,664 --> 01:23:38,796 - You're mad. 1908 01:23:38,839 --> 01:23:40,450 - What would you do, Mr. Smart? 1909 01:23:40,493 --> 01:23:42,800 - I would appeal to the conscience of the president 1910 01:23:42,843 --> 01:23:46,108 and the congress and ask them to cut down on defense 1911 01:23:46,151 --> 01:23:48,327 and spend more money on education. 1912 01:23:48,371 --> 01:23:50,155 - And you call me mad? 1913 01:23:50,199 --> 01:23:52,810 - You can't make people read. 1914 01:23:52,853 --> 01:23:55,465 - I can now that I have the Hottentot formula. 1915 01:23:55,508 --> 01:23:58,816 - What does controlling the weather have to do with reading? 1916 01:23:58,859 --> 01:24:00,470 - Everything. 1917 01:24:00,513 --> 01:24:02,646 Inclement weather forces people to remain indoors. 1918 01:24:02,689 --> 01:24:04,474 - There's always television. 1919 01:24:04,517 --> 01:24:06,563 - Wreak havoc with atmospheric conditions, 1920 01:24:06,606 --> 01:24:09,435 and you eliminate the transmission of television. 1921 01:24:09,479 --> 01:24:12,830 People will have nothing to do in their homes but read. 1922 01:24:12,873 --> 01:24:14,832 - Well, almost nothing. 1923 01:24:14,875 --> 01:24:18,836 Dimente, your demented plan will not work. 1924 01:24:18,879 --> 01:24:20,272 - [Dimente] Why not? 1925 01:24:20,316 --> 01:24:22,840 - Because at this very moment this warehouse 1926 01:24:22,883 --> 01:24:27,149 is being surrounded by 100 cops with doberman pincers. 1927 01:24:27,192 --> 01:24:28,150 Would you believe it? 1928 01:24:28,193 --> 01:24:30,326 100 cops with doberman pincers. 1929 01:24:30,369 --> 01:24:31,849 - I find that hard to believe. 1930 01:24:31,892 --> 01:24:35,853 - Would you believe 10 security guards and a bloodhound? 1931 01:24:35,896 --> 01:24:37,333 - I don't think so. 1932 01:24:37,376 --> 01:24:39,422 - How 'bout a boy scout with rabies? 1933 01:24:39,465 --> 01:24:41,337 - Mr. Smart, there is no force on earth 1934 01:24:41,380 --> 01:24:43,121 capable of stopping me. 1935 01:24:43,165 --> 01:24:46,516 I can burn towns, freeze cities. 1936 01:24:46,559 --> 01:24:48,822 I can electrocute countries. 1937 01:24:48,866 --> 01:24:52,435 I can drown the city that houses your finest minds, 1938 01:24:52,478 --> 01:24:54,437 your most brilliant intellects. 1939 01:24:54,480 --> 01:24:56,700 - Well, at least Washington is safe. 1940 01:24:56,743 --> 01:24:58,223 - Think of it, Mr. Smart. 1941 01:24:58,267 --> 01:25:00,269 With a push of a button, 1942 01:25:00,312 --> 01:25:03,533 I can create weather around the world 1943 01:25:03,576 --> 01:25:05,622 or right in this laboratory. 1944 01:25:05,665 --> 01:25:09,452 Snow storms, hurricanes, tornadoes, 1945 01:25:09,495 --> 01:25:10,583 or lightning. 1946 01:25:11,497 --> 01:25:15,675 [lightning cracks] [sizzling] 1947 01:25:18,243 --> 01:25:20,463 What do you have to say now, Mr. Smart? 1948 01:25:20,506 --> 01:25:22,639 - It's a brilliant plan, Dimente. 1949 01:25:22,682 --> 01:25:25,250 Too bad for you we found out about it. 1950 01:25:25,294 --> 01:25:27,165 - Too bad for you, 1951 01:25:27,209 --> 01:25:28,906 because now I'm gonna have to kill you. 1952 01:25:28,949 --> 01:25:31,735 - Well, I knew it was too bad for somebody. 1953 01:25:31,778 --> 01:25:35,434 - Mr. Smart, you have an admirable spirit. 1954 01:25:36,566 --> 01:25:38,394 Oh, I regret that we were unable to meet 1955 01:25:38,437 --> 01:25:41,527 under more favorable conditions. 1956 01:25:41,571 --> 01:25:45,227 I'll see you in the morning for breakfast, 1957 01:25:45,270 --> 01:25:46,532 or final requests. 1958 01:25:47,968 --> 01:25:51,450 - 99, I think he's the wrong publisher for your book. 1959 01:25:51,494 --> 01:25:54,453 - Folks, we can't afford to hang around here much longer. 1960 01:25:54,497 --> 01:25:56,803 - If only we had our old inflato-coats. 1961 01:25:56,847 --> 01:25:58,414 - We have better than that. 1962 01:25:58,457 --> 01:26:02,592 I've got a designer destructo-coat by Dr. Denton. 1963 01:26:02,635 --> 01:26:05,769 See if you can press my cuff buttons 1964 01:26:05,812 --> 01:26:08,206 to one-two-one-two. 1965 01:26:08,250 --> 01:26:10,426 [beeps] 1966 01:26:10,469 --> 01:26:14,473 [tense music] [swooshing] 1967 01:26:20,305 --> 01:26:22,481 Okay, one down, three to go. 1968 01:26:24,309 --> 01:26:26,398 [tense music] [beeping] 1969 01:26:26,442 --> 01:26:28,400 [crackling] 1970 01:26:28,444 --> 01:26:29,749 All right, 1971 01:26:29,793 --> 01:26:31,882 take this card and unchain Beamish and Schmelding. 1972 01:26:31,925 --> 01:26:33,971 I'm gonna call headquarters. 1973 01:26:34,014 --> 01:26:36,016 [beeps] 1974 01:26:38,454 --> 01:26:41,457 This is Maxwell, Smart, put me through to the commander. 1975 01:26:41,500 --> 01:26:42,980 I have vital information. 1976 01:26:43,023 --> 01:26:44,590 - [Minnie] Hello, this is Minnie-- 1977 01:26:44,634 --> 01:26:47,463 - Minnie, get off the line, this is an actual emergency. 1978 01:26:47,506 --> 01:26:49,465 - [Minnie] With cup size, at the beep. 1979 01:26:49,508 --> 01:26:51,728 - It's her answering machine. 1980 01:26:53,643 --> 01:26:57,473 - Oh, Maxwell, you can't ask me to demolish this machine. 1981 01:26:57,516 --> 01:26:58,909 It's a work of genius. 1982 01:26:58,952 --> 01:27:01,303 It's so simple, everything is marked. 1983 01:27:01,346 --> 01:27:02,869 You press a button, you get rain. 1984 01:27:02,913 --> 01:27:03,696 You press another-- 1985 01:27:03,740 --> 01:27:05,263 - Destroy it, Professor. 1986 01:27:05,307 --> 01:27:06,917 - But it's all we have left of Hottentot. 1987 01:27:06,960 --> 01:27:08,788 - Orders are orders. 1988 01:27:08,832 --> 01:27:11,748 Beamish, you've been here longest, what are we up against? 1989 01:27:11,791 --> 01:27:13,924 - Far as I can tell, it's only two guards and Shtarker. 1990 01:27:13,967 --> 01:27:14,881 Let's take 'em. 1991 01:27:14,925 --> 01:27:16,318 - They've got guns. 1992 01:27:16,361 --> 01:27:17,406 - Yes, but we have the element of surprise. 1993 01:27:17,449 --> 01:27:19,451 [thuds] 1994 01:27:36,555 --> 01:27:38,688 [tense music] 1995 01:27:38,731 --> 01:27:39,950 We've gotta split up. 1996 01:27:39,993 --> 01:27:41,604 99, you go that way, I'll go that way. 1997 01:27:41,647 --> 01:27:42,692 Beamish, you go that way. 1998 01:27:42,735 --> 01:27:43,562 [clattering] 1999 01:27:43,606 --> 01:27:45,042 - Get them! 2000 01:27:45,085 --> 01:27:47,566 [tense music] 2001 01:27:52,963 --> 01:27:54,443 [groans] [clanks] 2002 01:27:54,486 --> 01:27:56,619 [tense music] 2003 01:27:56,662 --> 01:27:58,534 [yells] 2004 01:27:58,577 --> 01:28:00,884 [tense music] 2005 01:28:06,498 --> 01:28:08,021 [gasps] 2006 01:28:08,065 --> 01:28:11,503 [clanks] [tense music] 2007 01:28:11,547 --> 01:28:13,549 [chuckles] 2008 01:28:13,592 --> 01:28:16,116 [tense music] 2009 01:28:17,770 --> 01:28:19,946 [clanking] 2010 01:28:19,990 --> 01:28:22,993 [tense music] 2011 01:28:23,036 --> 01:28:24,951 [swords clank] 2012 01:28:24,995 --> 01:28:28,564 [yells] [thuds] 2013 01:28:28,607 --> 01:28:30,957 [tense music] 2014 01:28:32,481 --> 01:28:33,569 [yells] 2015 01:28:33,612 --> 01:28:36,006 - Nobody gets through War and Peace. 2016 01:28:36,049 --> 01:28:37,442 [groans] 2017 01:28:37,486 --> 01:28:39,792 [tense music] 2018 01:28:44,623 --> 01:28:48,758 [clanking] [groans] 2019 01:28:48,801 --> 01:28:51,456 [tense music] 2020 01:28:52,675 --> 01:28:56,853 [clanking] [groans] 2021 01:29:00,465 --> 01:29:02,380 Missed me by that much. 2022 01:29:02,424 --> 01:29:06,471 [groans] [thuds] 2023 01:29:06,515 --> 01:29:10,127 [swords clank] [groans] 2024 01:29:10,170 --> 01:29:11,868 [chuckles] 2025 01:29:11,911 --> 01:29:16,046 [swords clank] [groans] 2026 01:29:20,616 --> 01:29:22,922 [tense music] 2027 01:29:25,534 --> 01:29:27,100 [groans] 2028 01:29:27,144 --> 01:29:29,625 [tense music] 2029 01:29:37,067 --> 01:29:41,419 [swords clank] [groans] 2030 01:29:44,683 --> 01:29:47,469 [thuds] 2031 01:29:47,512 --> 01:29:51,473 [clanking] [tense music] 2032 01:29:55,564 --> 01:29:56,608 - Max! 2033 01:29:58,131 --> 01:30:00,133 [thuds] 2034 01:30:01,483 --> 01:30:03,528 Max, that was fantastic. 2035 01:30:03,572 --> 01:30:05,617 - Yes, well, 99, it only goes to prove 2036 01:30:05,661 --> 01:30:08,185 that the pen is mightier than the sword. 2037 01:30:08,228 --> 01:30:09,578 - Mr. Smart! 2038 01:30:09,621 --> 01:30:12,494 That was my best brush with death so far. 2039 01:30:12,537 --> 01:30:15,148 - 99, I want you and Beamish to tie up Shtarker 2040 01:30:15,192 --> 01:30:17,499 and the other two, then call headquarters for help. 2041 01:30:17,542 --> 01:30:19,196 I'm gonna see how the professor is. 2042 01:30:19,239 --> 01:30:20,458 - Right, Max. 2043 01:30:21,241 --> 01:30:23,722 [tense music] 2044 01:30:25,681 --> 01:30:26,595 - Professor. 2045 01:30:26,638 --> 01:30:28,118 - Mr. Smart, 2046 01:30:28,161 --> 01:30:32,078 you have a most irritating habit of complicating my life. 2047 01:30:32,122 --> 01:30:34,516 - We've captured your men, it's all over. 2048 01:30:34,559 --> 01:30:35,865 [chuckles] 2049 01:30:35,908 --> 01:30:38,476 - You do have a style, Mr. Smart. 2050 01:30:38,520 --> 01:30:40,173 Where would you like it? 2051 01:30:40,217 --> 01:30:42,524 I'll give it to you anywhere you want. 2052 01:30:42,567 --> 01:30:44,961 - How about Philadelphia? 2053 01:30:45,004 --> 01:30:49,052 [tense music] [swooshing] 2054 01:30:49,095 --> 01:30:50,532 - You call headquarters. 2055 01:30:50,575 --> 01:30:51,620 I want to see how Max and the professor are doing. 2056 01:30:51,663 --> 01:30:52,708 - Okay. 2057 01:30:52,751 --> 01:30:55,493 [tense music] 2058 01:30:55,537 --> 01:30:57,669 [gun bangs] 2059 01:30:59,062 --> 01:31:01,543 [tense music] 2060 01:31:03,632 --> 01:31:04,937 [thuds] 2061 01:31:04,981 --> 01:31:07,287 [tense music] 2062 01:31:21,563 --> 01:31:22,564 [lightning crackles] 2063 01:31:22,607 --> 01:31:26,263 [sizzling] [groans] 2064 01:31:26,306 --> 01:31:28,265 - Oh, Max, how horrible. 2065 01:31:28,308 --> 01:31:30,006 - Well, he deserved it, 99. 2066 01:31:30,049 --> 01:31:32,138 He was nothing but a KAOS killer. 2067 01:31:32,182 --> 01:31:34,271 - Sometimes I wonder if we're any better, Max. 2068 01:31:34,314 --> 01:31:35,751 - What are you talking about, 99? 2069 01:31:35,794 --> 01:31:37,274 We have to kill and maim and destroy. 2070 01:31:37,317 --> 01:31:39,189 We stand for everything that's good and fine 2071 01:31:39,232 --> 01:31:41,583 and decent in the world. 2072 01:31:41,626 --> 01:31:42,758 [footsteps tap] 2073 01:31:42,801 --> 01:31:45,935 - Help is on the way and yuck. 2074 01:31:45,978 --> 01:31:47,197 Professor! 2075 01:31:47,240 --> 01:31:48,241 Are you okay? 2076 01:31:48,285 --> 01:31:49,591 - I'm all right. 2077 01:31:51,027 --> 01:31:53,595 But I'm telling you, Beamish, a career change at my age 2078 01:31:53,638 --> 01:31:55,597 is not a good idea. 2079 01:31:55,640 --> 01:31:57,773 Oh, I'm aching, I'm paining. 2080 01:31:57,816 --> 01:32:00,253 - However, Professor, we did save the world. 2081 01:32:00,297 --> 01:32:02,255 - It wasn't worth it. 2082 01:32:02,299 --> 01:32:04,127 - It's just like old times, Max. 2083 01:32:04,170 --> 01:32:05,171 We did it. 2084 01:32:05,215 --> 01:32:06,869 - Let's do it again. 2085 01:32:08,348 --> 01:32:10,786 - Max, Beamish and the professor are watching. 2086 01:32:10,829 --> 01:32:12,657 Let's wait until we get home. 2087 01:32:12,701 --> 01:32:13,353 - I can't. 2088 01:32:16,052 --> 01:32:18,620 [gentle music] 2089 01:32:22,014 --> 01:32:25,583 99, I love you better than the whole world. 2090 01:32:25,627 --> 01:32:27,803 Would you believe it, the whole world? 2091 01:32:27,846 --> 01:32:29,935 - Oh, Max, I believe it. 2092 01:32:29,979 --> 01:32:32,372 [gentle music] 2093 01:32:37,682 --> 01:32:41,207 [exciting rhythmic music] 2094 01:33:39,265 --> 01:33:41,441 [swooshing] 2095 01:33:42,312 --> 01:33:45,271 [exciting music]