1
00:00:06,453 --> 00:00:08,421
Come on, Marge, where's dinner?
2
00:00:08,455 --> 00:00:09,855
What's the holdup in there?
3
00:00:09,890 --> 00:00:12,358
♪ Pot-pop-pot-pot pot pies! ♪
4
00:00:12,392 --> 00:00:13,693
A pie for Bart...
5
00:00:13,727 --> 00:00:16,362
- Come on, put them down already.
- ...a veggie pie for Lisa...
6
00:00:16,396 --> 00:00:19,532
- Why do you have to describe everything?
- ...a baby pie for Maggie.
7
00:00:19,566 --> 00:00:21,267
The pies know who they're for.
8
00:00:21,301 --> 00:00:23,102
- A dog pie for Santa's Little Helper.
- What? The dog...
9
00:00:23,136 --> 00:00:24,403
The dog before me?
10
00:00:24,438 --> 00:00:28,482
Now, be sure to cut it open first
so the pie has time to cool.
11
00:00:28,516 --> 00:00:29,950
I'm done.
12
00:00:29,984 --> 00:00:32,953
I know you're in a hurry to go
to the bar to watch football,
13
00:00:32,987 --> 00:00:35,656
but first I want you to
put the kids to bed.
14
00:00:38,159 --> 00:00:40,861
"Everything after the tornado
was a dream. The end."
15
00:00:43,865 --> 00:00:48,035
Going into halftime, it's
Springfield Atoms 7, Boston Americans 10.
16
00:00:48,069 --> 00:00:53,807
Oh, come on, we cannot lose again
to those no-good Boston cheaters!
17
00:00:53,842 --> 00:00:56,176
I-I can't stand that
pretty-boy quarterback.
18
00:00:56,211 --> 00:00:59,980
Thinks he's so handsome,
just 'cause he's drop-dead gorgeous.
19
00:01:00,014 --> 00:01:02,549
The only Boston wins
is because they cheat!
20
00:01:02,584 --> 00:01:05,786
Listening in on our teams' headsets,
fattening our cheerleaders.
21
00:01:05,820 --> 00:01:09,556
You know, for three games last year,
Boston used a volleyball painted brown.
22
00:01:09,591 --> 00:01:13,727
That was never proven,
you Springfield screw-job.
23
00:01:13,761 --> 00:01:15,295
Ugh, Boston fans.
24
00:01:15,330 --> 00:01:18,131
In town for the Dennis
Lehane book tour.
25
00:01:18,166 --> 00:01:21,401
Go kiss a Kennedy, you rule-
breaking cranberry squeezers!
26
00:01:21,436 --> 00:01:22,736
We don't cheat.
27
00:01:22,770 --> 00:01:26,173
We won 12 division titles in ten years,
fair and square.
28
00:01:26,207 --> 00:01:29,977
You dorks are just jealous of
all our championship rings.
29
00:01:30,011 --> 00:01:32,646
Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!
30
00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:34,014
You're the one who's jealous.
31
00:01:34,048 --> 00:01:36,650
I only wish I could
be as jealous as you.
32
00:01:36,684 --> 00:01:39,820
Geez, Jay, this place has got
more knobs than a hardware store.
33
00:01:39,854 --> 00:01:41,922
I hate this town.
34
00:01:41,956 --> 00:01:44,124
So don't I. Friggin' doorknobs.
35
00:01:44,158 --> 00:01:45,926
Automatic.
36
00:01:45,960 --> 00:01:47,661
Mwah, mwah, mwah.
37
00:01:48,897 --> 00:01:52,299
It's fourth and long, the
Americans' last chance for a miracle.
38
00:01:52,333 --> 00:01:54,468
Come on, Springfield, put it away!
39
00:01:54,502 --> 00:01:56,703
We're gonna win one. We're
finally gonna win one!
40
00:01:56,738 --> 00:01:58,705
The QB
handsomely takes the snap,
41
00:01:58,740 --> 00:02:02,376
sexily steps back to pass, and with
God-given good looks, fires it downfield!
42
00:02:02,410 --> 00:02:03,977
But there's no one there to receive it!
43
00:02:04,913 --> 00:02:06,647
Nice pass.
44
00:02:06,681 --> 00:02:09,716
What a first-ballot hall-of-fame loser.
45
00:02:09,751 --> 00:02:13,220
But the ball is caught by the
Americans' mascot, Flappy the Flag!
46
00:02:13,254 --> 00:02:14,988
Flappy running unopposed
into the end zone
47
00:02:15,023 --> 00:02:17,724
for a surely illegal touchdown.
48
00:02:17,759 --> 00:02:19,660
Throwing to the mascot?
49
00:02:19,694 --> 00:02:23,430
After further review,
Flappy the Flag is listed
50
00:02:23,464 --> 00:02:27,301
on the Americans' 53-man
roster and reported eligible.
51
00:02:27,335 --> 00:02:29,102
The result of the play is a touchdown.
52
00:02:30,271 --> 00:02:32,606
Once again, the Americans
found a way to win.
53
00:02:32,640 --> 00:02:35,609
Oh, that'll put a smile
on Coach Bonderchuck's face.
54
00:02:38,346 --> 00:02:40,314
Oh, not again!
55
00:02:40,348 --> 00:02:42,749
They cheated! You cheated!
56
00:02:42,784 --> 00:02:45,085
Did not. You got to cover the mascot.
57
00:02:45,119 --> 00:02:46,920
Use your noggin. Play smart.
58
00:02:46,955 --> 00:02:48,655
Flappy's on the roster.
59
00:02:48,690 --> 00:02:50,590
On the roster!
60
00:02:50,625 --> 00:02:54,094
- On the roster!
- On the roster!
61
00:02:54,128 --> 00:02:55,929
On the roster, my butt.
62
00:02:55,964 --> 00:03:00,267
Once again, those Boston cheaters
think the rules don't apply to them.
63
00:03:00,301 --> 00:03:02,436
And they're so smug about winning.
64
00:03:02,470 --> 00:03:05,205
If I ever won anything, I
wouldn't be smug about it.
65
00:03:05,239 --> 00:03:10,577
I'd be class all the way, like Mark
Harmon... pure American elegance.
66
00:03:10,611 --> 00:03:14,815
I tell ya, the next Boston fan I see,
I'm just gonna lose it.
67
00:03:14,849 --> 00:03:16,583
Lose it so hard.
68
00:03:16,617 --> 00:03:17,851
And... What the...
69
00:03:19,153 --> 00:03:20,654
What is... How could...
70
00:03:20,688 --> 00:03:23,457
That hat! Your head!
71
00:03:23,491 --> 00:03:24,624
That team.
72
00:03:24,659 --> 00:03:26,593
My son!
73
00:03:26,627 --> 00:03:28,495
Hey, Dad, caught the game last night.
74
00:03:28,529 --> 00:03:29,930
Tough loss for your guys.
75
00:03:29,964 --> 00:03:31,598
Guess we just wanted it more.
76
00:03:31,632 --> 00:03:33,667
Oh, am
I in the right house?
77
00:03:33,701 --> 00:03:35,435
Because no one in my house
78
00:03:35,470 --> 00:03:40,140
would ever be caught dead
wearing Boston Americans gear.
79
00:03:40,174 --> 00:03:41,775
Dead!
80
00:03:41,809 --> 00:03:42,976
I feel ya, Homer.
81
00:03:43,011 --> 00:03:44,478
Sucks to be a loser.
82
00:03:44,512 --> 00:03:48,348
Unlike the six-time Mega-Bowl champion
Boston Americans.
83
00:03:48,383 --> 00:03:49,983
Mwah!
84
00:03:50,018 --> 00:03:51,485
Ring, ring, ring.
85
00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:53,887
Give me that hat.
86
00:03:59,861 --> 00:04:01,561
Olé!
87
00:04:02,730 --> 00:04:05,932
Your father never
could resist an "olé."
88
00:04:05,967 --> 00:04:07,701
Eh, he'll run out of steam soon.
89
00:04:14,509 --> 00:04:15,776
Get in.
90
00:04:18,813 --> 00:04:20,547
Look around, son.
91
00:04:20,581 --> 00:04:22,215
This is your hometown.
92
00:04:22,250 --> 00:04:25,318
And the Springfield Atoms
are your hometown team...
93
00:04:25,353 --> 00:04:27,621
since 2003, when we stole them
94
00:04:27,655 --> 00:04:29,656
in the middle of the
night from Portland.
95
00:04:29,690 --> 00:04:33,493
What kind of life can you have here
as a Boston fan?
96
00:04:33,528 --> 00:04:34,661
See?
97
00:04:34,695 --> 00:04:36,997
Why are you wearing that Boston hat?
98
00:04:37,031 --> 00:04:38,932
This is Atoms country, bro!
99
00:04:38,966 --> 00:04:42,936
I would pluck out my own eyes
if I did not have a call-back
100
00:04:42,970 --> 00:04:46,206
for a Web-only Olive Garden commercial.
101
00:04:49,110 --> 00:04:50,944
They're just trying to hat shame me.
102
00:04:50,978 --> 00:04:54,247
Face it, Dad, Boston is the
Bart Simpson of cities.
103
00:04:54,282 --> 00:04:58,018
All those awesome Southies in The
Departed, those are my people.
104
00:04:58,052 --> 00:05:01,455
People? The dog and the
baby are your people.
105
00:05:01,489 --> 00:05:04,558
It all goes back
to the Boston Tea Party,
106
00:05:04,592 --> 00:05:07,294
a prank so kick-ass
it started a country.
107
00:05:08,496 --> 00:05:10,397
Come on, pal, what do you say?
108
00:05:10,431 --> 00:05:13,733
Just lose the hat, for your old man.
109
00:05:15,736 --> 00:05:18,071
Nope, I think I'll stick
with the bad boys.
110
00:05:20,308 --> 00:05:23,543
Get it off before God sees.
111
00:05:26,447 --> 00:05:27,614
Oh!
112
00:05:31,085 --> 00:05:33,920
And the people from
Boston are so obnoxious.
113
00:05:33,955 --> 00:05:36,923
They think their stupid city
has the best everything:
114
00:05:36,958 --> 00:05:39,392
bands, comedians, chowder,
115
00:05:39,427 --> 00:05:42,229
their so-called cream pies,
which are actually cakes.
116
00:05:42,263 --> 00:05:43,797
- And there's...
- Why don't you let me
117
00:05:43,831 --> 00:05:48,101
- take your mind off your problems?
- And what's with Aerosmith?
118
00:05:48,136 --> 00:05:49,903
That's not how you spell "arrow."
119
00:05:49,937 --> 00:05:51,138
The... Oh.
120
00:06:03,484 --> 00:06:04,784
Do your job, Homer.
121
00:06:07,922 --> 00:06:09,122
Bart, you're my son.
122
00:06:09,157 --> 00:06:13,593
There's no neck tattoo so crass,
no gender reassignment too ambiguous
123
00:06:13,628 --> 00:06:15,061
that I would not love you.
124
00:06:15,096 --> 00:06:18,098
Which is why I must show you
the error of your ways,
125
00:06:18,132 --> 00:06:22,335
even if it means dragging this
family all the way to hell.
126
00:06:23,938 --> 00:06:26,072
A vacation to Boston?
127
00:06:26,107 --> 00:06:29,976
No, not a vay-cation, a hate-cation!
128
00:06:30,011 --> 00:06:35,148
Where you experience the worst a place
has to offer, and then say, "Told ya!"
129
00:06:35,183 --> 00:06:38,785
Hate-watching, hate-voting
and now a hate-cation?
130
00:06:38,819 --> 00:06:41,488
Why can't everyone just
enjoy things they like?
131
00:06:41,522 --> 00:06:46,459
Because things you like don't fill you
with delicious, delicious rage.
132
00:06:46,494 --> 00:06:47,794
Hmm, I'm gonna love this trip.
133
00:06:47,828 --> 00:06:49,663
I'm gonna love it right in your face.
134
00:06:49,697 --> 00:06:52,566
That's it, build it up in your head.
135
00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:55,502
High hopes just make the
hate-cation stronger.
136
00:06:55,536 --> 00:06:58,505
You're crazy.
Boston can't be that bad.
137
00:07:03,377 --> 00:07:06,580
I've never loved hating
anything so much!
138
00:07:06,614 --> 00:07:08,515
Move your garbage car!
139
00:07:08,549 --> 00:07:11,618
I got to get to the packy
before the B's drop puck!
140
00:07:12,620 --> 00:07:14,635
Told ya!
141
00:07:19,112 --> 00:07:22,581
See, boy? Notice how Bostonians
aren't exactly ugly,
142
00:07:22,616 --> 00:07:24,611
but they're not sexy either.
143
00:07:24,659 --> 00:07:28,751
Homer, your negative attitude
is ruining this hate-cation.
144
00:07:28,776 --> 00:07:31,654
So, what to hate first?
The Freedom Trail?
145
00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:33,581
The touch tank at the
New England Aquarium?
146
00:07:33,615 --> 00:07:35,016
Ooh, that could blow.
147
00:07:35,050 --> 00:07:36,584
I want to go to Southie.
148
00:07:36,618 --> 00:07:40,021
That part of town has the
towniest townies of any town.
149
00:07:40,055 --> 00:07:42,423
You think your
Bostonians are so great?
150
00:07:42,457 --> 00:07:44,759
Watch as your beloved hooligans
151
00:07:44,793 --> 00:07:47,361
tear your innocent
father limb from limb
152
00:07:47,396 --> 00:07:50,031
with just the slightest provocation.
153
00:07:51,566 --> 00:07:54,769
Listen up, you
clam-gargling tea-tossers!
154
00:07:54,803 --> 00:07:58,039
Fenway is a terrible ballpark!
155
00:07:58,073 --> 00:07:59,473
Dad, don't!
156
00:07:59,508 --> 00:08:01,442
Out of my way, ladies.
You're blocking my shot.
157
00:08:01,476 --> 00:08:07,615
The seats at Fenway Park are too narrow,
and many of them face center field!
158
00:08:07,649 --> 00:08:11,953
It's not charming, it's a teardown!
159
00:08:11,987 --> 00:08:13,120
The bobbleheads!
160
00:08:13,155 --> 00:08:14,322
They're tippin'!
161
00:08:14,356 --> 00:08:15,990
Kid, mind the cart!
162
00:08:16,024 --> 00:08:17,458
- The what?
- The cart!
163
00:08:17,492 --> 00:08:19,360
The cot?
164
00:08:19,394 --> 00:08:20,628
Cot!
165
00:08:24,499 --> 00:08:25,633
No, don't struggle!
166
00:08:25,667 --> 00:08:27,468
It only makes them bobble harder.
167
00:08:27,502 --> 00:08:29,537
They keep coming.
Bobblehead Steven Wright,
168
00:08:29,571 --> 00:08:33,374
bobblehead Aimee Mann,
bobblehead Bell Biv Devoe!
169
00:08:33,408 --> 00:08:35,376
The vibrations are killing him!
170
00:08:35,410 --> 00:08:38,045
Don't worry, sweetheart, I'm a doctor.
171
00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:39,880
I'm also a doctor, kid.
172
00:08:42,117 --> 00:08:44,385
Mm, so many doctors.
173
00:08:44,419 --> 00:08:46,887
He's got a Pedro lodged in his airway.
174
00:08:48,223 --> 00:08:49,590
He'll be fine, ma'am.
175
00:08:49,624 --> 00:08:52,526
And because of our state's
super-socialized health care,
176
00:08:52,561 --> 00:08:55,696
no matter how much your
husband abuses his body,
177
00:08:55,731 --> 00:08:57,698
someone else will pay for it.
178
00:08:57,733 --> 00:09:00,301
What a relief for women
with hot-tempered,
179
00:09:00,335 --> 00:09:02,303
accident-prone husbands.
180
00:09:02,337 --> 00:09:04,305
Oh, yeah, we got a
whole surgical center
181
00:09:04,339 --> 00:09:07,308
for injuries from falling
off icy roofs and gutters.
182
00:09:07,342 --> 00:09:08,909
Ooh.
183
00:09:11,346 --> 00:09:14,715
While the doctors pull tiny
Bruins helmets out of your skin,
184
00:09:14,750 --> 00:09:17,651
Lisa and I are going to
explore The Hub on our own.
185
00:09:17,686 --> 00:09:19,987
Remember, this is a hate-cation.
186
00:09:20,022 --> 00:09:21,522
You better go someplace bad.
187
00:09:21,556 --> 00:09:23,991
Isn't Mayor Quimby from
somewhere around here?
188
00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:33,534
People are so fit here.
189
00:09:33,568 --> 00:09:36,570
Everyone looks like they're
in a financial services ad.
190
00:09:36,605 --> 00:09:40,074
Free sunscreen? So progressive.
191
00:09:40,108 --> 00:09:42,143
Do you vaccinate your children?
192
00:09:42,177 --> 00:09:43,244
Of course.
193
00:09:43,278 --> 00:09:46,147
But not stupid progressive.
194
00:09:46,181 --> 00:09:49,050
What's that buzzing noise?
195
00:09:49,084 --> 00:09:51,986
It's-it's nerds!
196
00:09:52,020 --> 00:09:55,923
They've got every
recognized species of nerd!
197
00:09:55,957 --> 00:09:57,391
A jester-hatted ferret preener!
198
00:09:57,426 --> 00:09:59,160
A Wild West-afarian!
199
00:09:59,194 --> 00:10:00,995
A Magic: The Gathering gathering!
200
00:10:01,029 --> 00:10:02,329
Oculus rifters!
201
00:10:02,364 --> 00:10:04,598
Yo-yo guys. Yo-yo girls!
202
00:10:04,633 --> 00:10:06,867
A chain mail ping pong player.
203
00:10:08,203 --> 00:10:10,104
So much education.
204
00:10:10,138 --> 00:10:14,208
If they did a Real Housewives
here, it would be a total snooze.
205
00:10:14,242 --> 00:10:18,446
Ah, it's like heaven for people
who don't believe in heaven.
206
00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:20,614
What the crap is this BS?
207
00:10:20,649 --> 00:10:23,484
What? I thought you'd want
to try candlepin bowling.
208
00:10:25,487 --> 00:10:28,289
Hey, McCarthy, nice half-Worcester.
209
00:10:28,323 --> 00:10:30,124
Get bent, McDonald.
210
00:10:30,158 --> 00:10:32,126
A lot of wood to work with out there.
211
00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:33,627
Boston.
212
00:10:33,662 --> 00:10:35,896
They even found a way
to mess up bowling.
213
00:10:35,931 --> 00:10:37,131
Just try it.
214
00:10:38,333 --> 00:10:40,000
Eh, all right.
215
00:10:44,639 --> 00:10:47,575
None of the usual pain
in my knees, back,
216
00:10:47,609 --> 00:10:49,810
wrist, shoulder, neck, and chest.
217
00:10:55,650 --> 00:10:57,885
One pin standing.
218
00:10:57,919 --> 00:10:59,320
Story of my life.
219
00:10:59,354 --> 00:11:00,821
Whoa there, pal.
220
00:11:00,856 --> 00:11:02,823
Don't forget your third ball.
221
00:11:02,858 --> 00:11:04,058
Hold on, wait.
222
00:11:04,092 --> 00:11:05,659
Wait. Hold on.
223
00:11:05,694 --> 00:11:06,694
Wait.
224
00:11:07,863 --> 00:11:08,996
What?
225
00:11:09,030 --> 00:11:11,065
This is candlepin bowling.
226
00:11:11,099 --> 00:11:12,366
You get three.
227
00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:14,668
Hmm? Hmm.
228
00:11:21,710 --> 00:11:23,577
Three balls.
229
00:11:23,612 --> 00:11:26,547
I see it all so clearly now.
230
00:11:26,581 --> 00:11:28,382
What, Dad? What is it?
231
00:11:28,416 --> 00:11:31,218
This regional bowling
with its one extra roll
232
00:11:31,253 --> 00:11:34,955
has knocked my misguided
hate into the gutter.
233
00:11:34,990 --> 00:11:35,956
Mwah!
234
00:11:35,991 --> 00:11:38,626
I like Boston!
235
00:11:38,660 --> 00:11:41,428
Dad, you and me are real
father-son Southies, now.
236
00:11:41,463 --> 00:11:43,397
Just like Ben and Casey Affleck.
237
00:11:43,431 --> 00:11:47,134
Son, show me everything
this town has to offer.
238
00:12:13,595 --> 00:12:15,062
You know, for a cake,
239
00:12:15,096 --> 00:12:18,566
this Boston cream pie isn't so bad.
240
00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:20,434
Look at them. So innocent.
241
00:12:20,468 --> 00:12:22,570
Not Bart, but go on.
242
00:12:22,604 --> 00:12:23,537
Homer,
243
00:12:23,572 --> 00:12:25,739
I never dared dream
about living somewhere
244
00:12:25,774 --> 00:12:28,943
that values education,
with great health care,
245
00:12:28,977 --> 00:12:30,678
and everyone's outdoorsy
246
00:12:30,712 --> 00:12:31,845
but still pallid.
247
00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:33,180
If it weren't crazy,
248
00:12:33,215 --> 00:12:35,683
I'd say we should be
raising our kids here.
249
00:12:35,717 --> 00:12:37,618
But no. No, no. That's crazy!
250
00:12:37,652 --> 00:12:39,453
Is it?
251
00:12:39,487 --> 00:12:42,590
But I never thought
you, of all people...
252
00:12:42,624 --> 00:12:45,693
Honey, this could be the chance
we never thought we'd get.
253
00:12:45,727 --> 00:12:49,463
The chance to knock down
all of life's pins.
254
00:12:49,497 --> 00:12:52,466
Are you saying what I
think you're saying?
255
00:12:52,500 --> 00:12:57,137
I am. Fate is offering us a third ball.
256
00:12:57,172 --> 00:12:59,740
Do you mean it? Are we
going to move to Boston?
257
00:12:59,774 --> 00:13:03,344
I knew I didn't pay this
month's mortgage for a reason.
258
00:13:17,707 --> 00:13:21,324
We did it! We really did it!
We made a life change.
259
00:13:21,362 --> 00:13:24,498
I love these colonial
quilts on the wall.
260
00:13:24,525 --> 00:13:26,526
Now, I can take a nap standing up.
261
00:13:33,467 --> 00:13:34,467
Check it out, kid.
262
00:13:34,502 --> 00:13:36,102
This movie's my life now.
263
00:13:38,472 --> 00:13:40,440
You want to rob the Harvard Coop?
264
00:13:40,474 --> 00:13:42,475
Why don't we just break into Fort Knox?
265
00:13:42,510 --> 00:13:45,278
These snobs think Mass Ave.
belongs to them.
266
00:13:45,312 --> 00:13:47,313
It's our Ave.
267
00:13:52,486 --> 00:13:55,455
Whoa! I got to get one of
those "X" necklaces to kiss.
268
00:13:56,957 --> 00:13:59,692
This is all happening so fast.
269
00:13:59,727 --> 00:14:01,361
Can we really afford to live in a city
270
00:14:01,395 --> 00:14:03,530
with a symphony and a Pops?
271
00:14:03,564 --> 00:14:04,864
Don't worry, baby.
272
00:14:04,899 --> 00:14:08,535
I have a line on a sweet
safety inspector gig.
273
00:14:08,569 --> 00:14:10,403
Very sweet.
274
00:14:20,447 --> 00:14:22,949
Can I get a test on batch six?
275
00:14:24,118 --> 00:14:26,486
I'm finally living my dream
276
00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:29,255
of never not being
around batches of candy.
277
00:14:29,290 --> 00:14:30,757
And unlike the nuclear plant,
278
00:14:30,791 --> 00:14:34,160
if I screw up, no one gets hurt.
279
00:14:37,464 --> 00:14:39,165
Are you sure we have
to go to school here?
280
00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:41,100
I sort of thought I'd go
straight to running numbers
281
00:14:41,135 --> 00:14:42,435
for the Irish mob.
282
00:14:42,469 --> 00:14:44,437
Our school is in the heart
of what they once called
283
00:14:44,471 --> 00:14:45,605
The Combat Zone.
284
00:14:45,639 --> 00:14:47,340
The Combat Zone! Yes!
285
00:14:47,374 --> 00:14:48,675
Combat rules!
286
00:14:48,709 --> 00:14:50,343
Charter what?
287
00:14:50,377 --> 00:14:52,478
Here's my classroom.
288
00:14:53,380 --> 00:14:55,982
The teacher is Doris Kearns Goodwin.
289
00:14:56,016 --> 00:15:00,253
Today, we explore Lincoln's 1861
suspension of habeas corpus,
290
00:15:00,287 --> 00:15:03,089
using dried macaroni and pipe cleaners.
291
00:15:05,993 --> 00:15:07,627
Huh, now to get sent to detention.
292
00:15:07,661 --> 00:15:09,796
That's where I'll meet my
future bank-robbing crew.
293
00:15:16,403 --> 00:15:18,438
Ha! How do you like them marbles?
294
00:15:18,472 --> 00:15:21,040
Bart, we have a place
for kids like you.
295
00:15:21,075 --> 00:15:22,308
Bring it on.
296
00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:28,448
Kids singing?
297
00:15:33,454 --> 00:15:34,888
What the hell?
298
00:15:34,922 --> 00:15:38,391
Like you, these kids are gifted
with exceptional energy.
299
00:15:38,425 --> 00:15:40,760
Which they've channeled
into a cappella.
300
00:15:40,794 --> 00:15:42,662
♪ I'm shipping up to Boston ♪
301
00:15:42,696 --> 00:15:43,830
♪ Whoa! ♪
302
00:15:43,864 --> 00:15:44,998
Departed.
303
00:15:45,032 --> 00:15:46,332
These are the bad kids?
304
00:15:46,367 --> 00:15:48,334
There's not a Wahlberg in the bunch.
305
00:15:48,369 --> 00:15:50,670
I've never felt more like I fit in.
306
00:15:50,704 --> 00:15:53,273
People think Boston's all
Southies and hooligans.
307
00:15:53,307 --> 00:15:55,775
But it's really teachers, Ph.D.
students,
308
00:15:55,809 --> 00:15:57,944
doctors, innovators, philanthropists.
309
00:15:57,978 --> 00:16:00,213
It's like living in a giant classroom.
310
00:16:00,247 --> 00:16:02,115
And every day is a new test.
311
00:16:08,489 --> 00:16:10,290
Theater?
312
00:16:10,324 --> 00:16:12,458
Colleges?
313
00:16:12,493 --> 00:16:14,494
Culture?
314
00:16:17,298 --> 00:16:18,264
Oh, Pauly,
315
00:16:18,299 --> 00:16:21,067
if you could have known that Boston
was gonna turn out so wussy,
316
00:16:21,101 --> 00:16:23,269
you never would have warned anybody.
317
00:16:24,305 --> 00:16:30,276
Listen, my brother, and you shall see,
this is a town not for you, but for me.
318
00:16:33,247 --> 00:16:34,747
Hey, but what about Grampa?
319
00:16:34,782 --> 00:16:36,749
He lives a thousand miles away.
320
00:16:36,784 --> 00:16:37,917
Great point.
321
00:16:37,952 --> 00:16:39,552
Nobody tell him where we went.
322
00:16:39,586 --> 00:16:41,554
Bart, you haven't
touched your clambake.
323
00:16:41,588 --> 00:16:42,755
What's wrong?
324
00:16:42,790 --> 00:16:46,059
This place is all P.C.
brainiacs and Subaru owners
325
00:16:46,093 --> 00:16:47,560
wearing fleece vests.
326
00:16:47,594 --> 00:16:49,429
It's nothing at all like The Departed.
327
00:16:49,463 --> 00:16:51,965
Oh, honey, I know it's a big change.
328
00:16:51,999 --> 00:16:55,735
But someday you'll understand
that providing our family
329
00:16:55,769 --> 00:16:57,070
with a better life...
330
00:16:57,104 --> 00:16:59,372
Something I've never been able to do.
331
00:16:59,406 --> 00:17:02,208
...is the most important
thing in the world.
332
00:17:02,242 --> 00:17:04,377
We've been given a third ball.
333
00:17:04,411 --> 00:17:06,579
Let's not throw it away.
334
00:17:08,816 --> 00:17:10,216
Same to you.
335
00:17:10,250 --> 00:17:12,385
No one likes feeling out of place.
336
00:17:12,419 --> 00:17:14,554
That's how I felt back in Springfield.
337
00:17:14,588 --> 00:17:16,889
But I sucked it up for eight years.
338
00:17:16,924 --> 00:17:18,925
Now it's your turn.
339
00:17:30,771 --> 00:17:31,804
Yes! Finally.
340
00:17:31,839 --> 00:17:34,474
A Southie crew pulling a job.
341
00:17:34,508 --> 00:17:36,743
I finally took that spin
class with Miranda.
342
00:17:36,777 --> 00:17:38,711
I was sweatin' so friggin' hard.
343
00:17:38,746 --> 00:17:40,780
Hey, try this pressed juice, kid.
344
00:17:40,814 --> 00:17:43,316
Ginger, cayenne... Wicked cleanse, pal.
345
00:17:43,350 --> 00:17:45,051
Come on. Donny, Tommy,
346
00:17:45,085 --> 00:17:46,986
these solar laptops for Rwandans
347
00:17:47,021 --> 00:17:49,355
ain't gonna donate themselves.
348
00:17:50,424 --> 00:17:53,326
It's time for me to ship out of Boston.
349
00:17:54,528 --> 00:17:56,295
What a gorgeous day.
350
00:17:56,330 --> 00:17:57,930
I hope it never ends.
351
00:17:57,965 --> 00:18:00,233
So don't I.
352
00:18:00,267 --> 00:18:03,336
You know, guys, I've picked out
the perfect Boston activity
353
00:18:03,370 --> 00:18:05,004
to help celebrate our move.
354
00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:07,073
Ooh, a parade.
355
00:18:07,107 --> 00:18:08,608
Not just any parade.
356
00:18:09,610 --> 00:18:11,477
The Boston Americans?
357
00:18:13,213 --> 00:18:15,314
Bonk! Bonk! Bonk!
358
00:18:16,950 --> 00:18:18,351
It's a state holiday because the league
359
00:18:18,385 --> 00:18:20,219
overturned the coach's suspension
360
00:18:20,254 --> 00:18:22,522
for using magnets to
affect the coin toss.
361
00:18:22,556 --> 00:18:24,390
Pretty cool way to celebrate
our new hometown.
362
00:18:24,425 --> 00:18:25,892
Right, Dad?
363
00:18:25,926 --> 00:18:30,596
As a Bostonian, I
definitely support my team.
364
00:18:33,567 --> 00:18:35,301
Hey, Bonk! Can we get a picture?
365
00:18:35,335 --> 00:18:37,370
Hell to the derrr, little bro!
366
00:18:39,940 --> 00:18:41,707
Come on, Homer, put on the hat.
367
00:18:41,742 --> 00:18:44,577
I can support my hometown team
without putting on a hat.
368
00:18:44,611 --> 00:18:47,480
Hats go on your head!
369
00:18:47,514 --> 00:18:50,349
If you're gonna live in Boston,
you got to wear the hat.
370
00:18:52,953 --> 00:18:54,153
Okay.
371
00:18:59,359 --> 00:19:01,327
You did this on purpose.
372
00:19:01,361 --> 00:19:03,362
My future is at stake.
373
00:19:03,397 --> 00:19:05,498
So don't is mine.
374
00:19:05,532 --> 00:19:08,668
Just... a... hat.
375
00:19:08,702 --> 00:19:10,002
You can do it, Homie.
376
00:19:10,037 --> 00:19:11,404
Think of the candlepins.
377
00:19:11,438 --> 00:19:14,006
This is our extra ball!
378
00:19:14,041 --> 00:19:17,510
A... better... life.
379
00:19:24,785 --> 00:19:26,285
Derrr!
380
00:19:27,387 --> 00:19:28,387
Stupid cheaters!
381
00:19:28,422 --> 00:19:29,522
You cheat,
382
00:19:29,556 --> 00:19:31,691
you flip out when people say you cheat,
383
00:19:31,725 --> 00:19:32,859
and everybody knows
384
00:19:32,893 --> 00:19:35,394
you're nothing but a
big bunch of cheaters!
385
00:19:38,432 --> 00:19:40,199
You made us leave that lovely city
386
00:19:40,234 --> 00:19:42,368
rather than just put on a stupid hat.
387
00:19:42,402 --> 00:19:43,903
It wasn't even fitted.
388
00:19:43,937 --> 00:19:46,572
I just couldn't wear the hat.
389
00:19:46,607 --> 00:19:48,307
Well, I'm still mad at you.
390
00:19:48,342 --> 00:19:51,277
I never even got to experience
one of those Boston winters
391
00:19:51,311 --> 00:19:52,778
everyone raves about.
392
00:19:52,813 --> 00:19:55,414
Come on, baby, we could
never escape our problems
393
00:19:55,449 --> 00:19:57,083
by moving somewhere else.
394
00:19:57,117 --> 00:20:00,419
Our problems are who we
are, not where we are.
395
00:20:00,454 --> 00:20:02,288
Well... maybe.
396
00:20:02,322 --> 00:20:04,423
The traffic was pretty annoying.
397
00:20:04,458 --> 00:20:06,792
Not to mention the unspoken racism.
398
00:20:06,827 --> 00:20:09,462
It wasn't that unspoken.
399
00:20:10,631 --> 00:20:12,265
At least someone in this family
400
00:20:12,299 --> 00:20:14,033
is happy about where they came from.
401
00:20:15,302 --> 00:20:17,436
Oh, don't worry, Lisa.
402
00:20:17,471 --> 00:20:19,338
You'll get back to Boston someday.
403
00:20:19,373 --> 00:20:21,274
What are you talking about?
404
00:20:21,308 --> 00:20:22,508
I never left.
405
00:20:22,543 --> 00:20:24,810
I'm in Boston now.
406
00:20:26,547 --> 00:20:28,347
Welcome home, Lisa.
407
00:20:28,382 --> 00:20:30,016
Class is about to start.
408
00:20:33,020 --> 00:20:34,020
Eh.
409
00:20:35,684 --> 00:20:37,989
- sync and corrections by Caio -
- www.addic7ed.com -
410
00:21:10,757 --> 00:21:13,059
♪ I'm shipping up to Boston ♪
411
00:21:13,093 --> 00:21:14,827
♪ Shipping up, shipping up ♪
412
00:21:14,862 --> 00:21:17,030
♪ I'm shipping up to Boston ♪
413
00:21:17,085 --> 00:21:19,053
♪ Shipping up to Boston, whoa ♪
414
00:21:19,142 --> 00:21:21,110
♪ I'm shipping up to Boston ♪
415
00:21:21,144 --> 00:21:23,379
♪ Yeah ♪
416
00:21:23,413 --> 00:21:25,114
♪ Shipping up to Boston ♪
417
00:21:25,148 --> 00:21:26,115
♪ Whoa! ♪
418
00:21:26,476 --> 00:21:27,577
Departed!