1
00:00:03,128 --> 00:00:06,589
The Simpsons.

2
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:24,417
Hey, kids,
look who's making breakfast.

3
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:27,670
Itchy and Scratchy?

4
00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:29,339
That's right, kids.

5
00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:32,008
Never start the day on an empty stomach.

6
00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:36,513
It's delicious.

7
00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:37,430
Want to try?

8
00:01:37,514 --> 00:01:39,057
- Yay!
- Yay!

9
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:45,188
Ooh, so cold.

10
00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:48,650
Wow, pink daggers.

11
00:01:48,733 --> 00:01:49,818
Green hatchets.

12
00:01:49,901 --> 00:01:51,444
Yellow ice picks.

13
00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:54,656
And Stabby-Oh's are part of
this nutritious breakfast.

14
00:01:55,573 --> 00:01:57,826
Hey, if you guys
made breakfast, where's Mom?

15
00:01:57,909 --> 00:01:59,077
Here I am...

16
00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:03,373
but thanks to Stabby-Oh's,
most of me is still in bed.

17
00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:06,042
That ad campaign may have crossed a line.

18
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:08,002
Ah, what can you do? Sex sells.

19
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:11,881
Homer, you're still here?

20
00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:13,758
You should've left for work an hour ago.

21
00:02:13,842 --> 00:02:16,219
They said if I come in
late again, I'm fired.

22
00:02:16,302 --> 00:02:17,846
I can't take that chance.

23
00:02:17,929 --> 00:02:20,181
And, kids, you're going to miss
the school bus.

24
00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:22,350
It's only two blocks away.

25
00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:29,774
But I got to spit.

26
00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:31,442
You can spit on the bus.

27
00:02:34,237 --> 00:02:35,321
Uh, Mom...

28
00:02:35,405 --> 00:02:36,656
Not now, Lisa.

29
00:02:42,620 --> 00:02:43,705
Chew, chew, chew.

30
00:02:43,788 --> 00:02:45,540
Swallow, swallow, swallow.

31
00:02:53,339 --> 00:02:54,382
Aw, darn.

32
00:02:54,465 --> 00:02:56,217
Looks like we'll have to stay home today.

33
00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:57,927
Not on my watch.

34
00:02:59,220 --> 00:03:00,555
Stop!

35
00:03:00,638 --> 00:03:02,223
Stop!

36
00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:05,018
Oh, you want to drag?

37
00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:08,479
Yay!

38
00:03:12,233 --> 00:03:14,444
I'm not racing!

39
00:03:14,527 --> 00:03:17,405
It's me, Marge Simpson!

40
00:03:17,488 --> 00:03:19,657
No, you eat my dust.

41
00:03:33,254 --> 00:03:35,924
Woah, it's like Speed 2

42
00:03:36,007 --> 00:03:38,009
only with a bus instead of a boat.

43
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:51,814
I did it!

44
00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:53,733
I caught the school bus!

45
00:03:53,816 --> 00:03:55,360
Now, hurry up and get on.

46
00:03:55,443 --> 00:03:57,153
But, Mom, the school's right here.

47
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:58,529
I won.

48
00:03:58,613 --> 00:04:00,698
Don't take that away from me.

49
00:04:05,495 --> 00:04:06,871
OK, everybody off.

50
00:04:08,039 --> 00:04:09,249
Oops, almost forgot.

51
00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:11,292
Picking up a new kid today.

52
00:04:11,376 --> 00:04:13,795
- Whoa!
- Oh, neato.

53
00:04:14,545 --> 00:04:15,672
- New kid...
- Wow...

54
00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:16,965
a new kid!

55
00:04:17,048 --> 00:04:18,800
I wonder what they're like?

56
00:04:37,068 --> 00:04:37,986
Red hair?

57
00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:39,737
What's she trying to pull?

58
00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:41,864
Those shoes look Canadian.

59
00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:44,367
She'll never fit in.

60
00:04:46,744 --> 00:04:48,705
Oh, it's tough being the new kid.

61
00:04:48,788 --> 00:04:50,665
Someone should go talk to her.

62
00:04:50,748 --> 00:04:52,166
Yeah, somebody should.

63
00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:54,210
"One-hour dry cleaner"?

64
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,837
Man, that's fast.

65
00:04:57,755 --> 00:04:58,589
Kids gone?

66
00:04:58,673 --> 00:04:59,674
Yep.

67
00:04:59,757 --> 00:05:02,093
It's great to have some time
just to ourselves, huh?

68
00:05:02,176 --> 00:05:04,220
You read my mind.

69
00:05:05,805 --> 00:05:06,889
So...

70
00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:09,726
this coffee's good, huh?

71
00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:11,060
Yeah.

72
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:14,689
The, uh... the milk
really takes the edge off.

73
00:05:14,772 --> 00:05:17,358
You know, I think our marriage is

74
00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:18,609
I got it! I got it!

75
00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:20,028
- No, I got it!
- No, I do!

76
00:05:21,446 --> 00:05:22,989
Your baby is dead.

77
00:05:24,073 --> 00:05:26,159
That's what you'd hear,
if your baby fell victim

78
00:05:26,242 --> 00:05:27,994
to the thousands of deathtraps

79
00:05:28,077 --> 00:05:29,912
lurking in the average American home.

80
00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:33,374
"Springfield Baby-Proofing"?

81
00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:35,710
You-you really scared us.

82
00:05:35,793 --> 00:05:38,212
Sorry about that, but the truth is

83
00:05:38,296 --> 00:05:40,840
your baby, Maggie Simpson, is dead...

84
00:05:41,966 --> 00:05:43,551
dead tired of baby-proofers

85
00:05:43,634 --> 00:05:45,386
who don't provide a free estimate.

86
00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:47,263
Let's start in the kitchen.

87
00:05:48,389 --> 00:05:50,391
Now, pretend I'm a baby.

88
00:05:52,727 --> 00:05:54,604
Me like to explore.

89
00:05:54,687 --> 00:05:56,731
That's a pretty big caboose for a baby.

90
00:05:56,814 --> 00:05:59,650
Homer. Don't be... Wow, that is huge.

91
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:03,738
Pretty colors.

92
00:06:03,821 --> 00:06:05,656
Me want to drink.

93
00:06:19,962 --> 00:06:22,799
She got it open.

94
00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:25,802
You see how quickly your baby
could've been drinking

95
00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:27,553
this... "Similac Baby Formula"?

96
00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:28,846
No!

97
00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:34,560
This is such an eye-opener.

98
00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:37,772
I always pictured the kids
dying in the living room.

99
00:06:37,855 --> 00:06:40,608
OK, with the window bars,
toilet latches, dingo alarm

100
00:06:40,691 --> 00:06:43,069
and grapefruit-squirt shield,
your total cost would be...

101
00:06:43,152 --> 00:06:44,320
Wow, I'm rich.

102
00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:47,198
$3.00? That doesn't seem so bad.

103
00:06:47,281 --> 00:06:48,699
That's the price of the clipboard.

104
00:06:48,783 --> 00:06:50,076
Here's your estimate.

105
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:57,917
We don't need
your high-priced safety junk.

106
00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,210
Thank you.

107
00:07:04,799 --> 00:07:07,176
Look at the new kid
hogging the teeter-totter.

108
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:08,636
It's like she owns the place.

109
00:07:08,719 --> 00:07:12,265
Yeah, she thinks
she's Babe: Pig in the City.

110
00:07:12,348 --> 00:07:13,558
Give her a break.

111
00:07:13,641 --> 00:07:15,601
Remember your first day at school?

112
00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:19,021
Not as long as I keep taking these.

113
00:07:19,605 --> 00:07:22,984
Well, someone's got
to make her feel welcome.

114
00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:25,445
Hi, there.

115
00:07:26,529 --> 00:07:27,738
My name's Lisa.

116
00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:29,323
What's yours?

117
00:07:37,331 --> 00:07:38,916
Now, don't feel bad, honey.

118
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,960
Did you know back in grade school

119
00:07:41,043 --> 00:07:43,379
I had a bully problem myself?

120
00:07:44,422 --> 00:07:47,133
Everybody was Kung-Fu fighting.

121
00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:52,472
Those cats were fast as lightning.

122
00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:57,518
Good times.

123
00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:01,731
Why don't you try
reaching out to this new girl?

124
00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:04,400
See if you two have a common interest.

125
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:07,987
Hmm. Well, lots of people
like jazz fusion.

126
00:08:11,073 --> 00:08:13,743
OK, that's in the "maybe" file.

127
00:08:13,826 --> 00:08:17,246
What if you two bond
over your Malibu Stacey dolls?

128
00:08:17,663 --> 00:08:20,625
They're not dolls,
they're aspiration figures.

129
00:08:21,542 --> 00:08:22,960
But it might work.

130
00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:26,714
That baby-proofing crook wanted to sell us

131
00:08:26,797 --> 00:08:28,966
safety covers for the electrical outlets.

132
00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:31,719
But I'll just draw bunny faces on them

133
00:08:31,802 --> 00:08:33,971
to scare Maggie away.

134
00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:37,975
She's not afraid of bunnies.

135
00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:39,352
She will be.

136
00:08:40,811 --> 00:08:42,688
Uh, Francine?

137
00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:46,192
I think we got off to a bad start so...

138
00:08:46,275 --> 00:08:49,695
Hey... you like Malibu Stacey, too?

139
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:51,405
Oh, yeah.

140
00:08:51,489 --> 00:08:53,866
And you like the same one I like...

141
00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:55,743
With the "Grad-student Glamour Pack"

142
00:08:55,826 --> 00:08:57,453
just like the one in my...

143
00:08:58,162 --> 00:08:59,162
locker.

144
00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:01,082
That's mine, isn't it?

145
00:09:05,294 --> 00:09:06,629
Tastes like yours.

146
00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:12,552
How about jazz?

147
00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:14,011
Do you like jazz?

148
00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:15,930
I like jazz.

149
00:09:16,013 --> 00:09:18,558
Milhouse? She got you, too?

150
00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:20,309
Yeah. But it's not so bad...

151
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:21,644
I'm standing on Ralph.

152
00:09:21,727 --> 00:09:23,354
We're a totem pole!

153
00:09:23,437 --> 00:09:25,898
Hiya, hiya, hoya, hiya!

154
00:09:28,943 --> 00:09:30,653
And, and, there.

155
00:09:30,736 --> 00:09:33,281
See, honey, Daddy's protecting you

156
00:09:33,364 --> 00:09:35,491
from all the sharp scary things.

157
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,410
Here, hold this a sec.

158
00:09:39,287 --> 00:09:40,329
Oh, my...

159
00:09:41,747 --> 00:09:42,582
Oow!

160
00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:45,459
OK, Maggie, put it down.

161
00:09:45,543 --> 00:09:47,753
D'oh! O-OK, now.

162
00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:48,963
Put... D'oh!

163
00:09:49,046 --> 00:09:50,089
It...

164
00:09:50,172 --> 00:09:51,465
Down. D-ohh!

165
00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:54,468
OK, that's quite enough.

166
00:09:54,552 --> 00:09:55,928
It's not funny anymore.

167
00:09:56,012 --> 00:09:57,722
D-ohh! D-ohh!

168
00:09:59,307 --> 00:10:01,100
No, no, no!

169
00:10:01,183 --> 00:10:02,810
Oh, Homie.

170
00:10:06,063 --> 00:10:09,275
Now do you realize how unsafe
the American home is?

171
00:10:09,358 --> 00:10:12,612
Baby accidents occur every three minutes.

172
00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:14,488
I'm the one who told you that.

173
00:10:14,572 --> 00:10:16,198
Yeah, but this is me talking.

174
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:19,076
Look, I've already encased
the telephone in concrete.

175
00:10:19,785 --> 00:10:21,537
How are you supposed to dial?

176
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:22,747
Reach into these holes.

177
00:10:22,830 --> 00:10:24,165
I use a carrot.

178
00:10:24,248 --> 00:10:25,448
Isn't that a little excessive?

179
00:10:25,499 --> 00:10:27,585
I mean, how are the buttons dangerous?

180
00:10:27,668 --> 00:10:29,253
Baby could order poison.

181
00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:31,297
Oh, that's ridiculous.

182
00:10:33,716 --> 00:10:35,051
Poison Delivery Service.

183
00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:37,720
A gift basket of poisons is on its way.

184
00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:39,722
Oh, I'm a horrible mother.

185
00:10:39,805 --> 00:10:41,807
Of course you are.

186
00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:45,019
Marge, I've finally discovered
the reason God made me...

187
00:10:45,102 --> 00:10:48,356
to protect his tiniest,
most breakable creatures.

188
00:10:48,439 --> 00:10:51,484
And I've got to share
that gift with the world.

189
00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:55,446
Get her out of here.

190
00:10:57,448 --> 00:10:59,950
Why you throwing tomatoes
at yourself, huh?

191
00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:01,952
Why you throwing tomatoes at yourself?

192
00:11:02,036 --> 00:11:03,913
Your very question is faulty.

193
00:11:03,996 --> 00:11:05,373
You're faulty.

194
00:11:07,124 --> 00:11:08,125
Knock-knock...

195
00:11:08,209 --> 00:11:10,086
What do you want?

196
00:11:10,169 --> 00:11:12,963
Would you bullies be interested
in some bodyguard work?

197
00:11:13,047 --> 00:11:14,715
Oh, this is so funny.

198
00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:17,009
We were just talking about
moving into protection.

199
00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:19,053
We're offering a recess-and-lunch package

200
00:11:19,136 --> 00:11:20,638
that's very affordable.

201
00:11:20,721 --> 00:11:22,241
Well, I'm going to need full coverage.

202
00:11:22,306 --> 00:11:23,849
My bully is highly aggressive.

203
00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:25,351
Check out these Indian burns.

204
00:11:25,434 --> 00:11:27,144
- Good technique.
- Wow, check it out.

205
00:11:27,228 --> 00:11:30,022
Triple twist. Nice work.

206
00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:32,066
You sure this was done by hand?

207
00:11:32,149 --> 00:11:33,901
Yeah, she's a real purist.

208
00:11:33,984 --> 00:11:34,902
She?

209
00:11:34,985 --> 00:11:36,779
Sorry, we don't do girls.

210
00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:38,322
They bite and kick and scratch.

211
00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:40,616
And sometimes we fall in love.

212
00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:44,370
Wow... there's so much I don't
understand about bullying.

213
00:11:44,453 --> 00:11:47,081
Yeah... there's a lot of history there.

214
00:11:47,164 --> 00:11:49,625
Did you know it predates agriculture?

215
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,752
Let's walk.

216
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:54,338
Finish the job.

217
00:11:56,465 --> 00:11:59,093
I just don't understand
Francine's motivation.

218
00:11:59,176 --> 00:12:00,094
Whoa!

219
00:12:00,177 --> 00:12:01,804
Whaa!

220
00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:07,351
Why does she only go after the smart ones?

221
00:12:07,435 --> 00:12:09,645
That's like asking
the square root of a million.

222
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,272
No one will ever know.

223
00:12:11,355 --> 00:12:12,523
Someone will.

224
00:12:12,606 --> 00:12:14,608
I'm going to crack the bully code.

225
00:12:14,692 --> 00:12:16,193
Oh, dee, doo, doo.

226
00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:17,987
Savin' those babies.

227
00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:19,947
And the soft spots on their heads.

228
00:12:20,030 --> 00:12:21,407
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo.

229
00:12:21,949 --> 00:12:24,118
Problem, a pointy deity.

230
00:12:24,201 --> 00:12:26,328
And I've got the perfect solution.

231
00:12:29,832 --> 00:12:31,083
Oh, thank you.

232
00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:33,711
No more Shiva-related pokings.

233
00:12:33,794 --> 00:12:35,914
Yeah, you know down the line,
you might want to switch

234
00:12:35,963 --> 00:12:37,715
to a nice, round Buddha.

235
00:12:38,716 --> 00:12:40,092
But... we are Hindu.

236
00:12:40,176 --> 00:12:42,261
So am I, but I don't
get all huffy about it.

237
00:12:42,344 --> 00:12:43,763
Just had a whim.

238
00:12:44,513 --> 00:12:46,640
To go take a swim.

239
00:12:49,059 --> 00:12:50,269
Out on a limb.

240
00:12:50,352 --> 00:12:52,396
Just haul off and jump right in.

241
00:12:56,275 --> 00:12:58,569
Slow down, buckle up.

242
00:12:58,652 --> 00:13:01,322
Take the time, rehearse.

243
00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:04,033
Always...

244
00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:07,745
Safety first.

245
00:13:19,131 --> 00:13:22,468
Ach! 'Tis a mighty puddle of puke.

246
00:13:22,551 --> 00:13:23,928
I'm sorry.

247
00:13:24,011 --> 00:13:26,138
Ah, that's all right, lad.

248
00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:28,933
It reminds me why I got
into this business.

249
00:13:29,016 --> 00:13:32,394
Willie, I need to see
the school security tapes.

250
00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:36,524
Security tapes? There's no security tapes.

251
00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:38,859
It's hard to miss the cameras.

252
00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:43,864
Aye... Willie's a stinkin' liar.

253
00:13:49,453 --> 00:13:51,664
Why does the school need
to watch us all the time?

254
00:13:51,747 --> 00:13:52,581
School?

255
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:54,708
Oh, here's the tape I need.

256
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:57,253
Oh, my God!

257
00:13:57,336 --> 00:14:00,464
That roll of towels is nearin' the end!

258
00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:04,093
Ach! It's on double red stripe!

259
00:14:18,148 --> 00:14:20,734
How did she know I was there?

260
00:14:26,365 --> 00:14:29,827
Hey, that time she looked right
at me and didn't touch me.

261
00:14:35,499 --> 00:14:38,252
Of course! The nose clip.

262
00:14:38,919 --> 00:14:40,921
Hey, Willie, I think I'm on to something.

263
00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:42,047
Check this out.

264
00:14:43,632 --> 00:14:45,217
Not talking, eh, Willie?

265
00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:46,302
Just listen, then.

266
00:14:46,385 --> 00:14:48,262
I think I figured out

267
00:14:48,345 --> 00:14:51,265
what sets off that big ape, Francine.

268
00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:53,559
Willie?

269
00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:55,686
Willie? Whoa!

270
00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:00,441
Yeah!

271
00:15:06,780 --> 00:15:08,324
Come on, people.

272
00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:10,492
Move it. I want to see some sweat.

273
00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:12,745
I am not mastering another stair

274
00:15:12,828 --> 00:15:17,374
until you explain the purpose
of this monstrous experiment.

275
00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:20,252
I believe the key to bully-nerd antagonism

276
00:15:20,336 --> 00:15:22,004
lies in your drippings.

277
00:15:22,087 --> 00:15:24,548
Then I shall drip like a pot roast.

278
00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:25,966
Excellent.

279
00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:27,843
Now don't mind the squeegee.

280
00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:35,267
Ah, the scraping seems wrong

281
00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:37,144
but it feels so right.

282
00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:41,732
And so, as Heavyweight Champion

283
00:15:41,815 --> 00:15:45,319
recognized by nine of the
forteen sanctioning bodies

284
00:15:45,402 --> 00:15:47,988
I sincerely urge you all
to stay in school.

285
00:15:48,072 --> 00:15:49,406
Uh, thank you.

286
00:15:51,533 --> 00:15:56,038
Thank you, Drederick Tatum.
That was truly a K.O...

287
00:15:56,121 --> 00:15:58,123
knockout oration. Heh.

288
00:15:58,207 --> 00:15:59,667
Need a ride home?

289
00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:02,086
You really don't want that. Trust me.

290
00:16:02,169 --> 00:16:03,253
Mr. Tatum...

291
00:16:03,337 --> 00:16:06,173
do you mind if I swab you
with this damp rag?

292
00:16:06,256 --> 00:16:08,634
No, not at all. Swab away.

293
00:16:08,717 --> 00:16:10,260
Whoa, whoa.

294
00:16:10,344 --> 00:16:11,887
Nobody mentioned a beaker.

295
00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:13,639
Please? It's for science.

296
00:16:13,722 --> 00:16:16,141
Oh, for science. In that case, proceed.

297
00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:19,228
Lisa, this is outrageous.
Explain yourself.

298
00:16:19,311 --> 00:16:21,438
Shh, it's working. Look.

299
00:16:25,025 --> 00:16:27,444
Nelson, what are you doing?

300
00:16:27,528 --> 00:16:28,529
I don't know.

301
00:16:28,612 --> 00:16:30,572
I can't help myself.

302
00:16:30,656 --> 00:16:33,242
Hey, cut it out. I insist that you desist.

303
00:16:34,743 --> 00:16:38,080
Sorry. I'm so sorry.

304
00:16:38,163 --> 00:16:40,207
Yes.

305
00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:46,046
Oh, please, don't hurt me.

306
00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:47,673
You leave me little recourse.

307
00:16:47,756 --> 00:16:52,052
And now, the Estrogen
Network presents, Afternoon Yak.

308
00:16:55,889 --> 00:16:56,974
Men...

309
00:16:58,600 --> 00:16:59,518
Canceled.

310
00:16:59,601 --> 00:17:01,812
The safe-baby craze.

311
00:17:01,895 --> 00:17:05,649
It's sweeping Springfield,
thanks to one crusading parent.

312
00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:07,901
That's me. Safety dance.

313
00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:09,069
You can dance.

314
00:17:09,153 --> 00:17:10,237
You can dance.

315
00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:12,156
Everybody look at your pants.

316
00:17:12,239 --> 00:17:14,616
But while Homer Simpson
has made our babies safe

317
00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:17,244
he's made our infant-related
businesses cry.

318
00:17:17,327 --> 00:17:19,246
All the way away from the bank.

319
00:17:19,329 --> 00:17:21,665
How are your baby crutch sales?

320
00:17:21,749 --> 00:17:22,875
Uh, terrible, Kent.

321
00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:24,585
And cartoon-character Band-Aids?

322
00:17:24,668 --> 00:17:25,668
Forget about it.

323
00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:26,879
Look at this baby.

324
00:17:26,962 --> 00:17:29,673
Not a scratch on him.
And I got boat payments.

325
00:17:31,341 --> 00:17:32,926
The dream is over.

326
00:17:33,010 --> 00:17:36,138
Shut her down, boys.

327
00:17:40,142 --> 00:17:42,227
Dear God, what have I done?

328
00:17:43,395 --> 00:17:45,856
Babies of Springfield, we need your help.

329
00:17:45,939 --> 00:17:46,939
Please.

330
00:17:46,982 --> 00:17:48,150
Skin your knees.

331
00:17:48,233 --> 00:17:49,985
Put dice up your nose.

332
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:52,446
Let cats sleep on your face.

333
00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:56,450
The problem?

334
00:17:56,533 --> 00:17:58,952
Constant flying saucer attacks.

335
00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:02,164
The solution?

336
00:18:02,247 --> 00:18:04,541
And thus, the earth is saved.

337
00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:06,752
- That's a winner, Steve.
- Marvelous.

338
00:18:06,835 --> 00:18:09,546
That's quite an act to follow, Lisa.

339
00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:12,174
I know, and the crowd is so distinguished.

340
00:18:12,257 --> 00:18:14,510
The inventor of the
walkie-talkie is out there.

341
00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:15,511
Where?

342
00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:17,054
Third row, near the aisle.

343
00:18:17,137 --> 00:18:20,432
Ooh, your right.
And that's not his wife.

344
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,227
Scientists... scientists, please.

345
00:18:23,310 --> 00:18:24,561
Looking for some order...

346
00:18:24,645 --> 00:18:26,325
some order, please...
with the eyes forward

347
00:18:26,396 --> 00:18:28,273
and the hands neatly folded.

348
00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:30,150
And the paying of attention.

349
00:18:30,234 --> 00:18:31,485
Pi is exactly three.

350
00:18:33,529 --> 00:18:35,531
Very sorry that it had to come to that.

351
00:18:35,614 --> 00:18:37,282
But now that I have your attention

352
00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:39,743
we have some exciting, new research

353
00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:41,203
from young Lisa Simpson.

354
00:18:41,286 --> 00:18:42,806
Let's bring her out and pay attention.

355
00:18:42,830 --> 00:18:44,665
She's just a little girl...

356
00:18:44,748 --> 00:18:46,125
...in the larval stage...

357
00:18:46,208 --> 00:18:47,751
Let's not listen...

358
00:18:49,336 --> 00:18:50,796
My study is entitled.

359
00:18:50,879 --> 00:18:53,882
"Airborne Pheromones
and Aggression in Bullies."

360
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:55,509
Bullies? Where?

361
00:18:55,592 --> 00:18:57,886
For as long as there have been
smart people

362
00:18:57,970 --> 00:18:59,805
there have been bullies to prey on them.

363
00:18:59,888 --> 00:19:01,765
From Galileo...

364
00:19:02,516 --> 00:19:03,976
To Sir Isaac Newton...

365
00:19:04,059 --> 00:19:06,645
and even in the animal kingdom.

366
00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:10,774
But why do the brawny prey on the brainy?

367
00:19:10,858 --> 00:19:12,985
- Is it jealousy?
- Yes. Yes. Of course, yes.

368
00:19:13,068 --> 00:19:15,696
No. The reason is chemical.

369
00:19:15,779 --> 00:19:16,905
No, no. That's not possible.

370
00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:19,074
That's impossible.
Chemicals are our friends.

371
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:20,200
She's a witch.

372
00:19:20,284 --> 00:19:23,162
Please, Dr. Koop, let me demonstrate.

373
00:19:25,873 --> 00:19:28,542
This is my test subject, Francine.

374
00:19:32,212 --> 00:19:34,798
I'd like to thank her parents
for helping with the caging.

375
00:19:35,966 --> 00:19:37,968
Let me out of here!

376
00:19:38,051 --> 00:19:40,679
I have isolated the chemical
which is emitted

377
00:19:40,762 --> 00:19:43,223
by every geek, dork and four-eyes.

378
00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:45,559
I call it "Poindextrose."

379
00:19:45,642 --> 00:19:47,769
Woo-hoo! Simpsons rule.

380
00:19:48,353 --> 00:19:49,353
Sorry.

381
00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:56,403
You're dead, nerd.

382
00:19:56,486 --> 00:19:59,656
The bully has caught my scent,
and she's at maximum rage.

383
00:20:00,782 --> 00:20:01,783
Professor Frink?

384
00:20:03,535 --> 00:20:05,454
Very well, Lisa, I'll just finagle the...

385
00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:10,042
Are you mad, Frink?
Put down that science pole.

386
00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:21,345
My God, she stopped in her tracks.

387
00:20:21,428 --> 00:20:24,723
The little girl's invented
some sort of bully repellent.

388
00:20:24,806 --> 00:20:26,034
- Yes, yes, you're right.
- Let's not listen.

389
00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:28,518
Actually, it's just ordinary
salad dressing.

390
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:30,729
So that's where that went.

391
00:20:30,812 --> 00:20:33,106
The pungent vinegar
and tangy Roquefort block

392
00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:35,817
the smell receptors,
rendering the bully harmless.

393
00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:37,569
Oh, wonderful.

394
00:20:37,653 --> 00:20:38,737
Wonderful.

395
00:20:38,820 --> 00:20:40,364
Congratulations, Lisa.

396
00:20:40,447 --> 00:20:42,199
You are truly the standout

397
00:20:42,282 --> 00:20:44,576
of this year's Big Science Thing.

398
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:47,663
A gift certificate from J.C. Penney?

399
00:20:47,746 --> 00:20:49,498
Yes, you'll love their slacks.

400
00:20:50,624 --> 00:20:53,752
Oh, honey, we're so proud of you.

401
00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:59,007
So, all her bullying was
just to get some attention?

402
00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:00,259
No, Dad.

403
00:21:00,342 --> 00:21:01,969
Didn't you listen to anything I said?

404
00:21:02,052 --> 00:21:04,763
Just to get some attention.

405
00:21:04,846 --> 00:21:06,098
Lisa, help.

406
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:13,272
The repellent's all gone.

407
00:21:13,355 --> 00:21:15,732
Don't worry. She'll punch herself out.

408
00:21:15,816 --> 00:21:17,818
Suck fist, Doctor Dork.

409
00:21:17,901 --> 00:21:20,362
Someone's going to sleep well tonight.

410
00:21:24,658 --> 00:21:27,911
- What a cutie.
- Look at her pound that nerd.

411
00:21:44,469 --> 00:21:48,348
I'm feelin' free I'll go climb a tree.

412
00:21:51,018 --> 00:21:54,896
Oh monkey me,
I'm just like a chimpanzee.

413
00:21:57,899 --> 00:22:03,322
But it's way too high and so
this time I'll just pretend.

414
00:22:03,947 --> 00:22:09,828
Ah, and then
I will live to climb again.

415
00:22:17,210 --> 00:22:21,423
Ah, just remember.

416
00:22:22,215 --> 00:22:27,721
Always Safety First.

417
00:22:29,973 --> 00:22:31,892
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