1 00:00:02,369 --> 00:00:06,306 ♪ 2 00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:11,578 Everything here is made out of garbage. 3 00:00:11,578 --> 00:00:15,115 Upcycling is at the very core of the modern maker movement. 4 00:00:15,115 --> 00:00:16,950 It's very responsible. 5 00:00:16,950 --> 00:00:19,419 Like these doggie chew toys made out of... 6 00:00:19,419 --> 00:00:21,088 used retainers? 7 00:00:21,088 --> 00:00:23,056 Ugh! Too responsible! 8 00:00:23,056 --> 00:00:24,591 (laughing) 9 00:00:24,591 --> 00:00:27,194 Hey, guys. You're craft fair fans, too? 10 00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:29,997 Ew, no. We're doing a photo scavenger hunt 11 00:00:29,997 --> 00:00:31,798 for Francine's birthday party. 12 00:00:31,798 --> 00:00:33,834 We need a picture of something sad. 13 00:00:33,834 --> 00:00:35,769 I wonder why I wasn't invited. 14 00:00:35,769 --> 00:00:39,873 'Cause you're a party narc who ruins everybody's fun. 15 00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:42,543 What? When have I ever done that? 16 00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:45,312 You once deflated a bouncy house 'cause you smelled mildew. 17 00:00:45,312 --> 00:00:46,446 You shut down a pool party 18 00:00:46,446 --> 00:00:48,248 'cause the diving board wasn't code. 19 00:00:48,248 --> 00:00:49,483 You stopped a barbecue 20 00:00:49,483 --> 00:00:51,885 because the fire extinguishers were expired. 21 00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:53,754 Okay, okay, I get it. 22 00:00:53,754 --> 00:00:55,622 Basically, you're a wet blanket. 23 00:00:55,622 --> 00:00:57,758 That's not true, she's more like a blanket 24 00:00:57,758 --> 00:01:00,627 that tattles and kills all joy. 25 00:01:00,627 --> 00:01:02,329 Ooh, that's sad. 26 00:01:02,329 --> 00:01:03,463 (laughs) 27 00:01:03,463 --> 00:01:05,199 (groans) 28 00:01:05,199 --> 00:01:08,101 Oh, what a beautiful little box. 29 00:01:08,101 --> 00:01:09,536 I'll take this. 30 00:01:09,536 --> 00:01:11,104 You'll need this polish. 31 00:01:11,104 --> 00:01:13,273 It's my blend of secret ingredients, 32 00:01:13,273 --> 00:01:16,977 including carnauba wax. That-that one's not a secret. 33 00:01:16,977 --> 00:01:18,712 Okay, I'll take both. 34 00:01:18,712 --> 00:01:20,047 I have to explain to the box 35 00:01:20,047 --> 00:01:21,815 that it's going to live with you now. 36 00:01:21,815 --> 00:01:23,750 Okay, baby, you're gonna go... 37 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:26,019 Are you seeing this? 38 00:01:26,019 --> 00:01:28,021 Are you seeing that? 39 00:01:28,021 --> 00:01:30,691 (chuckles) Man bun. 40 00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:33,327 Pathetic old dude thinks death won't find him 41 00:01:33,327 --> 00:01:35,495 if he has a freaky hair lump. 42 00:01:35,495 --> 00:01:38,398 (chuckles) Stupid bun. 43 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:40,667 (shrieks) 44 00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:42,035 Homer, Marge! 45 00:01:42,035 --> 00:01:44,905 You finally get to meet my special lady. 46 00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:46,740 This is Blythe. 47 00:01:46,740 --> 00:01:49,376 Special lady? Since when? 48 00:01:49,376 --> 00:01:53,146 Oh. Oh, it's been almost six months. 49 00:01:53,146 --> 00:01:55,048 And we're just hearing about it now? 50 00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:58,318 What do you mean? I left you tons of messages. 51 00:01:58,318 --> 00:02:00,487 I thought those were all butt-dials. 52 00:02:00,487 --> 00:02:01,388 (beeps) 53 00:02:01,388 --> 00:02:03,323 GRAMPA: Homer, I've met someone... 54 00:02:03,323 --> 00:02:05,058 - (beeps) - I'm in lo... 55 00:02:05,058 --> 00:02:06,960 - (beeps) - Blythe and I are getting seri... 56 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:11,932 - (beeps) - I fell out of the senior van and I'm lost... 57 00:02:11,932 --> 00:02:13,333 How did you two meet? 58 00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:15,736 I was hired by the Retirement Castle 59 00:02:15,736 --> 00:02:20,307 to cleanse auras with a therapeutic sound bath. 60 00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:22,376 But I don't want inner peace. 61 00:02:22,376 --> 00:02:23,177 (grunts) 62 00:02:23,177 --> 00:02:26,146 (chiming harmoniously) 63 00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:29,383 GRAMPA: But when she started gongin' her gongs, 64 00:02:29,383 --> 00:02:33,887 it felt like I stuck my tongue in love's power outlet. 65 00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:37,124 (moaning): Oh, wow. 66 00:02:37,124 --> 00:02:39,660 BLYTHE: As Abe vibrated past, 67 00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:43,463 there was something inside him that called to me. 68 00:02:43,463 --> 00:02:46,667 GRAMPA: It was the bullet I fired into my foot during the war 69 00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:48,535 to get out of KP duty. 70 00:02:48,535 --> 00:02:51,305 (gasps) 71 00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:53,106 (sighs) 72 00:02:53,106 --> 00:02:55,342 (both moaning) 73 00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:58,946 We're not wasting any more time. 74 00:02:58,946 --> 00:03:00,914 I'm moving in with her. 75 00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:04,051 I finally found true love. 76 00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:06,386 And I finally won't have to pay 77 00:03:06,386 --> 00:03:09,923 for your retirement home. (cries happily) 78 00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:12,492 (chimes ringing) 79 00:03:12,492 --> 00:03:14,862 You have so many chimes. 80 00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:17,064 You're not going to miss any wind. 81 00:03:17,064 --> 00:03:19,333 Ooh, this is my son Calvin. 82 00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:21,502 Felicitous greetings on this day to you. 83 00:03:21,502 --> 00:03:23,437 That's how this one guy talked in Star Trek 84 00:03:23,437 --> 00:03:25,005 when they went to a Shakespeare planet. 85 00:03:25,005 --> 00:03:26,707 It's how I'm saying hello these days. 86 00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:29,376 Oh, uh, hello-eth to you. 87 00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:31,111 What a charmer. 88 00:03:31,111 --> 00:03:33,447 - How old is Calvin? - 11. 89 00:03:33,447 --> 00:03:35,716 Hmm, so you had him when you were... 90 00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:38,085 Oh, he's adopted. 91 00:03:38,085 --> 00:03:42,389 Cute kid, but, man, my dad's gonna eat him alive. 92 00:03:44,791 --> 00:03:46,927 Hey, there's my guy. 93 00:03:46,927 --> 00:03:48,228 Wha? 94 00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:50,230 Uppies! 95 00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:53,600 (gasps) 96 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:55,836 He never gave me uppies. 97 00:03:55,836 --> 00:03:57,971 (groaning) 98 00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:03,877 Abe and Calvin love to cook for company. 99 00:04:03,877 --> 00:04:05,612 Final looks on the plating, chef. 100 00:04:05,612 --> 00:04:08,782 That one needs a sweep of balsamic, chef. 101 00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:11,218 Nobody's refilled my water glass. 102 00:04:11,218 --> 00:04:13,987 This restaurant would get zero Michelin tires. 103 00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:16,657 Tonight we've made for you a roasted chicken 104 00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:18,192 with apricot and fennel. 105 00:04:18,192 --> 00:04:20,727 - MARGE: Mmm. - How are we enjoying the first bites? 106 00:04:20,727 --> 00:04:22,196 Hmm... 107 00:04:22,196 --> 00:04:25,165 Well, I'm not getting fennel at all. 108 00:04:25,165 --> 00:04:26,733 So that's a fail. 109 00:04:26,733 --> 00:04:28,035 (whispering): Don't be rude. 110 00:04:28,035 --> 00:04:29,570 (shrieks) Shelf rat! 111 00:04:29,570 --> 00:04:33,006 Well, they're both rodents, but this little dude 112 00:04:33,006 --> 00:04:36,376 is a Sciuridae, or squirrel, if you prefer. 113 00:04:36,376 --> 00:04:39,012 I'd prefer that it not stare into my soul 114 00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:40,447 like it knows my sins. 115 00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:44,284 Calvin does taxidermy. That's one of his pieces. 116 00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:48,755 He's a rising star in the field. He takes classes with adults. 117 00:04:48,755 --> 00:04:50,390 You can't even see the tire tracks 118 00:04:50,390 --> 00:04:52,292 - on this guy anymore. - (alarm beeps) 119 00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:54,428 Uhp, time for your glocky-drops, Abe. 120 00:04:54,428 --> 00:04:58,665 Aw, that stuff makes me blinder than an umpire in a mineshaft. 121 00:04:58,665 --> 00:05:02,803 You know the drill, commodore. Head back, eyes open. 122 00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:06,073 BOTH: Rain, rain. 123 00:05:06,073 --> 00:05:08,041 Windshield wipers! 124 00:05:08,041 --> 00:05:10,277 (Calvin hums happily) 125 00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:13,680 Here you go, sweetie. 126 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:18,051 We made that chestnut stuffing I know you love. 127 00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:21,655 BLYTHE: Abe, you're feeding the thermostat again. 128 00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:24,358 D'oh! Damn glocky-drops! 129 00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:28,962 Yo, our grandfather Abe Simpson moved out, 130 00:05:28,962 --> 00:05:31,331 but left his... (shudders) denture cup. 131 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:32,633 Do you have a lost and found? 132 00:05:32,633 --> 00:05:34,468 Please say you don't have a lost and found. 133 00:05:34,468 --> 00:05:35,736 Oh, Abe's moved out? 134 00:05:35,736 --> 00:05:38,205 Well, his room is paid up for the next two weeks. 135 00:05:38,205 --> 00:05:40,541 Uh, actually, I misspoke. 136 00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:44,912 Um, Abe is still using the room. Using it like crazy. 137 00:05:44,912 --> 00:05:46,013 (Lisa exclaims) 138 00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:48,949 We own this place for two whole weeks. 139 00:05:48,949 --> 00:05:51,051 - Hmm. - We can take a shower in a chair, 140 00:05:51,051 --> 00:05:53,287 - flush the toilet a million times... - Interesting. 141 00:05:53,287 --> 00:05:56,657 Oh, you're gonna tell Mom and Dad about this, aren't you? 142 00:05:56,657 --> 00:06:00,794 Nope, this is one whistle I'm not gonna blow. 143 00:06:00,794 --> 00:06:05,199 Instead, what if we used this room 144 00:06:05,199 --> 00:06:08,502 to throw the greatest slumber party ever? 145 00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:10,404 No rules, no limits, 146 00:06:10,404 --> 00:06:14,208 and, dare I say it, no slumbering. 147 00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:16,210 (straining): Tell me more. 148 00:06:18,312 --> 00:06:21,281 Also, that kid is not that good of a cook. 149 00:06:21,281 --> 00:06:23,050 There's such a thing as chicken being 150 00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:25,018 too tender and juicy, you know? 151 00:06:25,018 --> 00:06:28,555 Our wood is really loving this carnauba stuff. 152 00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:31,792 And what kind of kid does taxidermy? 153 00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:33,293 Dead animals are meant to be 154 00:06:33,293 --> 00:06:35,429 poked with a stick, end of story. 155 00:06:35,429 --> 00:06:38,832 Homer, you've been complaining about Calvin for three days. 156 00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:41,235 Why are you so obsessed with him? 157 00:06:41,235 --> 00:06:43,537 What? I don't think about him at all. 158 00:06:43,537 --> 00:06:46,974 But did you notice how he asked to be excused? 159 00:06:46,974 --> 00:06:49,409 That speaks to a guilty conscience. 160 00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:50,377 And another thing. 161 00:06:50,377 --> 00:06:52,279 (lisping): Why is my tongue swelling up? 162 00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:54,515 - (gasps) - What is this rash? 163 00:06:54,515 --> 00:06:56,383 Oh, my gosh. 164 00:06:56,383 --> 00:07:00,120 You must be having an allergic reaction to the carnauba wax. 165 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,389 Well, stop using it! 166 00:07:02,389 --> 00:07:05,759 I-I've rubbed it into the floors, the windows. 167 00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:09,029 Every wood surface in the house has been carnauba'd! 168 00:07:09,029 --> 00:07:11,131 It'll take weeks to dissipate! 169 00:07:11,131 --> 00:07:13,467 But where do I go to breathe? 170 00:07:13,467 --> 00:07:15,802 (groans) 171 00:07:15,802 --> 00:07:18,005 Yay, you're here. 172 00:07:18,005 --> 00:07:20,274 I was putting up glow-in-the-dark stars. 173 00:07:20,274 --> 00:07:21,975 I'll let you distribute the other half, 174 00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:24,278 since you're kind of like my brother now. 175 00:07:24,278 --> 00:07:27,181 Brother? (scoffs) I'm a grown man. 176 00:07:27,181 --> 00:07:30,417 Half? This is barely a third. No fair! 177 00:07:30,417 --> 00:07:31,451 Dad! 178 00:07:36,023 --> 00:07:39,326 Okay, Harry Potter chapter read, pillow fluffed... 179 00:07:39,326 --> 00:07:42,462 Scary German puppet turned to face the wall. 180 00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:43,897 GRAMPA: Uh-huh. 181 00:07:43,897 --> 00:07:47,434 And now, a good-night kiss. 182 00:07:47,434 --> 00:07:48,902 Mmm... 183 00:07:48,902 --> 00:07:50,270 Watch your feet! 184 00:07:50,270 --> 00:07:53,106 (both grunting, groaning) 185 00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:54,908 - Night, Calvin. - (light switch clicks) 186 00:07:54,908 --> 00:07:58,979 Psst. Homer. Want to play 20 questions? 187 00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:02,716 Okay. Question number one: Shut up. 188 00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:04,418 (laughs) You're funny. 189 00:08:04,418 --> 00:08:05,953 We should go out on our bikes tomorrow. 190 00:08:05,953 --> 00:08:09,256 I know this place by the nuclear plant that has the best jumps. 191 00:08:09,256 --> 00:08:10,991 Oh, wait. Did you bring your bike? 192 00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:13,293 I don't have a bike, I have a car. 193 00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:15,395 And I don't play at the nuclear plant, 194 00:08:15,395 --> 00:08:20,000 I work there because I am a grown-up. 195 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,002 Abe says I'm mature for my age. 196 00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:23,704 When we check in at a restaurant, 197 00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:24,972 he gives the host my name, 198 00:08:24,972 --> 00:08:27,241 so I'm practically a grown-up, too. 199 00:08:27,241 --> 00:08:29,343 No, you're not. You're a pants-wetting baby. 200 00:08:29,343 --> 00:08:32,112 (sputters) That is patently untrue. 201 00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:34,014 I have excellent bladder control. 202 00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:36,884 If anything, I hold it in too long. 203 00:08:36,884 --> 00:08:38,051 Pants-wetting baby! 204 00:08:38,051 --> 00:08:40,420 Stop lying! (grunts) 205 00:08:40,420 --> 00:08:43,490 (gasps) You threw that zipper-first! 206 00:08:43,490 --> 00:08:44,424 (grunts) 207 00:08:44,424 --> 00:08:48,195 (gasps) My orrery! Eat gas giants! 208 00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:51,498 I'll give you a gas giant! 209 00:08:51,498 --> 00:08:52,332 (both grunting) 210 00:08:52,332 --> 00:08:55,769 Stop squirming and let me fart... 211 00:08:55,769 --> 00:08:58,038 - No! - ...on your head! 212 00:08:58,038 --> 00:09:00,140 Never! (grunts) 213 00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:01,275 - Ow! - (shouts) 214 00:09:01,275 --> 00:09:05,245 I welcomed you into my home, 215 00:09:05,245 --> 00:09:08,982 my room, where I keep my artifacts. 216 00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:12,753 But you, sir, are a butt brain! 217 00:09:12,753 --> 00:09:16,290 From here on out, it's war. 218 00:09:16,290 --> 00:09:17,658 (groans) 219 00:09:17,658 --> 00:09:19,993 ♪ 220 00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:21,695 - (toilet flushes) - (Calvin shrieks) 221 00:09:22,596 --> 00:09:23,597 (Homer shouts) 222 00:09:23,597 --> 00:09:24,631 (laughs) 223 00:09:25,632 --> 00:09:28,168 (stammers, grunts) 224 00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:29,636 ♪ 225 00:09:30,704 --> 00:09:32,706 (whimpers) 226 00:09:37,644 --> 00:09:39,246 (gasps) 227 00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:40,681 (groans) 228 00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:41,815 (Homer chuckles) 229 00:09:41,815 --> 00:09:43,283 ♪ 230 00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:45,886 - (Calvin laughs) - (screaming) 231 00:09:45,886 --> 00:09:48,322 (yelling) 232 00:09:49,356 --> 00:09:51,191 (chuckles) 233 00:09:52,626 --> 00:09:55,896 Thank you, Mother. Pickup is noon tomorrow. 234 00:09:55,896 --> 00:09:58,732 Don't be early. Bye, now. 235 00:10:00,234 --> 00:10:03,437 Drive away. Don't look back. 236 00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:06,940 (muffled music playing) 237 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:09,376 ♪ 238 00:10:09,376 --> 00:10:12,246 Welcome to our pop-up sleepover. 239 00:10:12,246 --> 00:10:14,715 Do you have the "birthday gift"? 240 00:10:14,715 --> 00:10:17,484 One $25 gift card. 241 00:10:17,484 --> 00:10:19,419 (Bart chuckles) 242 00:10:20,521 --> 00:10:24,258 Take off your shoes, we have unlimited bed-jumping. 243 00:10:24,258 --> 00:10:26,760 (laughing hysterically) 244 00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:29,029 I've never felt so alive! 245 00:10:29,029 --> 00:10:33,100 We got PG-13 movies, rated "M" videogames. 246 00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:34,668 What if Mother calls? 247 00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:38,305 We got Milhouse in the closet standing by. Guy's a pro. 248 00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:40,974 (imitating adult): Oh, hello, Wendell's mom. 249 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:44,044 Yes, I will remind him to wear his night guard, 250 00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:47,447 because I am another parent. (normal voice): Love you. 251 00:10:48,515 --> 00:10:53,787 Lis, take a moment. We did this. You did this. 252 00:10:53,787 --> 00:10:56,190 (clamoring, laughter) 253 00:10:56,190 --> 00:10:58,392 - ♪ - (Nelson grunts) 254 00:10:58,392 --> 00:11:00,060 (laughing) 255 00:11:01,762 --> 00:11:04,898 I am Lisa, bringer of fun. 256 00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:07,668 Driest of blankets. 257 00:11:08,669 --> 00:11:10,070 (car rattles) 258 00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:11,972 Must you hit every bump? 259 00:11:11,972 --> 00:11:12,973 (tires screech) 260 00:11:12,973 --> 00:11:13,974 - Oh! - (car rattles) 261 00:11:13,974 --> 00:11:15,275 Oops. 262 00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:17,778 I make a million dollars a year. Did you know that? 263 00:11:17,778 --> 00:11:19,513 - No, you don't. - Oh, yeah? 264 00:11:19,513 --> 00:11:21,748 Then why do I have a ton of DVDs? 265 00:11:21,748 --> 00:11:23,684 What's a DVD? 266 00:11:24,518 --> 00:11:27,154 Ugh, your car smells like fried chicken. 267 00:11:27,154 --> 00:11:29,857 No, I smell like fried chicken. 268 00:11:29,857 --> 00:11:32,893 Can you breathe through your mouth? 269 00:11:32,893 --> 00:11:34,995 Your nose is squeaky. 270 00:11:34,995 --> 00:11:38,065 (breathes loudly) 271 00:11:38,065 --> 00:11:39,733 (breathes louder) 272 00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:41,034 Yeah? 273 00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:43,737 (both breathing loudly) 274 00:11:43,737 --> 00:11:46,640 (both wheezing) 275 00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:48,675 (both straining and wheezing) 276 00:11:50,444 --> 00:11:51,778 (Calvin coughs) 277 00:11:51,778 --> 00:11:53,647 (Homer whimpers) 278 00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:04,691 Wow, Calvin, what a great start. 279 00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:08,295 But how would a pelican have access to a freshwater fish? 280 00:12:08,295 --> 00:12:11,598 (laughs) Well, that's the joke! 281 00:12:11,598 --> 00:12:13,200 (sarcastic laughter) 282 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:16,537 Oh, so funny to murder innocent water birds. 283 00:12:16,537 --> 00:12:19,907 Uh, it died of natural causes, ding-dong. 284 00:12:19,907 --> 00:12:22,009 I have a network of park ranger friends 285 00:12:22,009 --> 00:12:23,544 who save dead animals for me. 286 00:12:23,544 --> 00:12:27,347 So you're not a psychopath, just a weirdo. Got it. 287 00:12:27,347 --> 00:12:29,750 It's always sad when an animal dies, 288 00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:33,887 but this pelican gets to speak to the world as art. 289 00:12:33,887 --> 00:12:36,123 I was inspired to make this 290 00:12:36,123 --> 00:12:38,592 after Abe told me about his time in the war. 291 00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:42,629 His stories are so cool, but disturbing. 292 00:12:42,629 --> 00:12:43,664 I will not sit here 293 00:12:43,664 --> 00:12:47,100 and have you call my father's stories cool! 294 00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:49,069 They're meandering and endless. 295 00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:52,706 I'm going to Moe's, where people know what's boring. 296 00:12:52,706 --> 00:12:54,107 (scoffs) 297 00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:55,876 And it's not just taxidermy, 298 00:12:55,876 --> 00:12:58,278 Calvin's got a million creepy hobbies. 299 00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:00,781 And my dad thinks they're all great. 300 00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:04,685 When I was his age, I was cleaning pool covers from below. 301 00:13:04,685 --> 00:13:08,288 Yeah, going house to house with my scrub brush and Speedo. 302 00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:11,291 I stuck googly eyes on shells and sold them at the beach. 303 00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:13,560 Till my dad told me to knock it off 304 00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:15,796 because people would think I was a freak. 305 00:13:15,796 --> 00:13:18,765 Yeah, my pop also told me to lay low. 306 00:13:18,765 --> 00:13:20,567 Literally. We were gravediggers. 307 00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:23,170 We took turns sleeping in open graves. 308 00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:25,138 Heh. Nothin' builds character 309 00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:28,675 like waking up to a coffin being lowered on top of youse. 310 00:13:28,675 --> 00:13:30,611 To unprocessed trauma. 311 00:13:33,046 --> 00:13:35,649 - Hi, Lisa! - She waved to us! 312 00:13:35,649 --> 00:13:36,650 (both laughing) 313 00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:38,051 Our sleepover is a hit. 314 00:13:38,051 --> 00:13:39,853 We have the room for one more weekend. 315 00:13:39,853 --> 00:13:42,189 We're gonna be gift card thousand-aires. 316 00:13:42,189 --> 00:13:45,058 No, Bart, we have to reinvest in our next party. 317 00:13:45,058 --> 00:13:46,493 We have to top ourselves. 318 00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:50,063 I'm thinking face painters, walk-around SpongeBob, 319 00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:52,633 one of those pools you can surf in. 320 00:13:52,633 --> 00:13:56,336 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Are you chain-sucking lollypops? 321 00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:58,038 Just need a little something 322 00:13:58,038 --> 00:14:00,007 'cause I didn't sleep much last night. 323 00:14:00,007 --> 00:14:02,409 I was pricing mashed potato stations. 324 00:14:02,409 --> 00:14:06,413 Lisa, in the non-weekend world, you have to have a bedtime. 325 00:14:06,413 --> 00:14:08,916 I don't want to live in the non-weekend world. 326 00:14:08,916 --> 00:14:11,285 We've only got one more chance 327 00:14:11,285 --> 00:14:14,688 to scrawl our names across the slumber party sky. 328 00:14:14,688 --> 00:14:16,757 I'll sleep when I'm nine. 329 00:14:17,724 --> 00:14:19,359 (groans) 330 00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:25,465 (grunting) 331 00:14:25,465 --> 00:14:27,134 Hmm? Hmm. 332 00:14:27,134 --> 00:14:28,836 (imitating Calvin): Look at me, I'm Calvin. 333 00:14:28,836 --> 00:14:31,205 I'm little but I use big words. 334 00:14:31,205 --> 00:14:34,107 Son, I know it's hard sharing a room 335 00:14:34,107 --> 00:14:37,945 with someone so, uh, different than you. 336 00:14:37,945 --> 00:14:41,415 But you've handled it with grace and maturity. 337 00:14:42,683 --> 00:14:44,852 Anyway, I just wanted to say 338 00:14:44,852 --> 00:14:48,055 - I'm so proud of you... Calvin. - (gasps) 339 00:14:48,055 --> 00:14:50,524 Ooh, aah, dah! 340 00:14:50,524 --> 00:14:54,928 I can't see a thing with these glaucoma drops. (sighs) 341 00:14:54,928 --> 00:14:56,196 HOMER: He thinks I'm Calvin. 342 00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:58,165 Look at how he looks at him. 343 00:14:58,165 --> 00:15:00,234 He never looked at me that way. 344 00:15:00,234 --> 00:15:02,703 Are you okay, kid? You seem kind of quiet. 345 00:15:02,703 --> 00:15:05,239 (imitating Calvin): It's just... I've never heard you say 346 00:15:05,239 --> 00:15:09,843 you were proud of me. Ever. In my entire life. 347 00:15:09,843 --> 00:15:11,478 What are you talking about? 348 00:15:11,478 --> 00:15:14,648 I say that to you all the time, Calvin. 349 00:15:14,648 --> 00:15:17,451 Oh. (laughs weakly) 350 00:15:17,451 --> 00:15:18,785 I forgot. 351 00:15:18,785 --> 00:15:20,254 (Grampa chuckles) 352 00:15:26,493 --> 00:15:30,130 Homer, you villain! Do not harm that birdhouse. 353 00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:32,466 The nuthatches did nothing to you! 354 00:15:32,466 --> 00:15:34,001 (sighs heavily) 355 00:15:34,001 --> 00:15:35,469 What's wrong with you? 356 00:15:35,469 --> 00:15:38,972 My dad kisses the butt you walk on. 357 00:15:38,972 --> 00:15:41,141 I'd get it if you were great at sports, 358 00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:44,211 or fixing cars, or demolishing buildings, 359 00:15:44,211 --> 00:15:46,747 but you're just a weird little kid. 360 00:15:46,747 --> 00:15:49,116 And my dad hates weird little kids. 361 00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:52,019 At least... he sure hated me. 362 00:15:52,019 --> 00:15:55,222 Homer, Abe doesn't hate you. 363 00:15:55,222 --> 00:15:56,623 Oh, yeah? I'll show you. 364 00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:59,493 We got ten minutes until his eyedrops wear off. 365 00:15:59,493 --> 00:16:01,628 (grunts) You be me. 366 00:16:03,664 --> 00:16:05,465 Dad, do you have a second? 367 00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:08,802 Dang it, Homer. Do you think I'm made of seconds? 368 00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:12,673 I was in the middle of a very important word find puzzle. 369 00:16:12,673 --> 00:16:16,143 I was about to find the longest diagonal of my career. 370 00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:17,411 Now what do you want?! 371 00:16:17,411 --> 00:16:18,979 Um, I-I... 372 00:16:18,979 --> 00:16:21,582 You, you, you nothing! 373 00:16:23,150 --> 00:16:25,986 Wow, that was harsh. 374 00:16:25,986 --> 00:16:28,522 Do you ever tell him how he makes you feel? 375 00:16:28,522 --> 00:16:31,758 Kinda. I stuck him in the worst nursing home I could find. 376 00:16:31,758 --> 00:16:33,527 Figured he'd read between the lines. 377 00:16:33,527 --> 00:16:37,030 I think you need to find a new way to express your feelings. 378 00:16:37,030 --> 00:16:39,666 It might need to be more than just words. 379 00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:44,404 But my way with words be my best moutha-ma-callits. Aw. 380 00:16:44,404 --> 00:16:47,207 You'll figure out a way to get through to your dad. 381 00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:49,977 You just need to put on your thinking cap. 382 00:16:50,811 --> 00:16:53,480 (muffled music playing) 383 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:55,749 (clamoring) 384 00:16:55,749 --> 00:16:56,950 (Bart grunts) 385 00:16:56,950 --> 00:16:58,185 Where have you been? 386 00:16:58,185 --> 00:16:59,586 I had to get Band-Aids. 387 00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:01,722 Lewis got stabbed with a juice box straw. 388 00:17:01,722 --> 00:17:05,192 Somebody fed the pony Pop Rocks and he kicked out the TV. 389 00:17:05,192 --> 00:17:07,027 His poop is popping! 390 00:17:07,027 --> 00:17:09,730 (crashing, creaking) 391 00:17:09,730 --> 00:17:13,133 The climbing wall collapsed onto the Reptile Rodeo. 392 00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:15,435 There's loose tails everywhere. 393 00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:19,740 I tried to throw a party, but the party threw me. 394 00:17:19,740 --> 00:17:21,642 I'm putting a stop to this. 395 00:17:21,642 --> 00:17:22,943 Are you sure? 396 00:17:22,943 --> 00:17:24,645 You know what that will make you. 397 00:17:25,546 --> 00:17:28,248 Hello? Yes, I'd like to blow the whistle 398 00:17:28,248 --> 00:17:31,985 on an out-of-control party at The Retirement Castle. 399 00:17:31,985 --> 00:17:36,757 Oh, my name? It's Lisa Simpson, party narc. 400 00:17:37,558 --> 00:17:40,994 Well, the party's shut down, kids are packing up their stuff. 401 00:17:40,994 --> 00:17:43,564 Great. I'm sure they all hate me. 402 00:17:43,564 --> 00:17:45,299 - Yeah, probably. - (sighs) 403 00:17:45,299 --> 00:17:48,902 I gotta dump the churro sugar out of my shoes. 404 00:17:48,902 --> 00:17:51,271 (laughter) 405 00:17:51,271 --> 00:17:52,773 - (gasps) - They've arrested Lisa! 406 00:17:52,773 --> 00:17:56,877 She's paying the ultimate price for throwing the ultimate party. 407 00:17:56,877 --> 00:17:58,712 You're our hero, Lisa! 408 00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:00,714 (gasps) 409 00:18:01,515 --> 00:18:03,483 If you drive me home with the siren on, 410 00:18:03,483 --> 00:18:06,620 we've got a freezer full of Snickers. 411 00:18:06,620 --> 00:18:08,455 - (siren wailing) - Go, Lisa! 412 00:18:08,455 --> 00:18:11,491 - Lisa, you're the best! - You got this, Lisa! 413 00:18:11,491 --> 00:18:13,293 Call your lawyer! 414 00:18:17,030 --> 00:18:18,699 (indistinct chatter) 415 00:18:18,699 --> 00:18:21,935 There's some really inspiring work here tonight. 416 00:18:22,803 --> 00:18:26,740 Yours is a blistering indictment of American consumerism. 417 00:18:26,740 --> 00:18:28,542 I love how the middle joey 418 00:18:28,542 --> 00:18:30,277 is looking in the opposite direction, 419 00:18:30,277 --> 00:18:33,113 as if imagining a different future. 420 00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:35,949 Glad you got that. I worried it was too subtle. 421 00:18:35,949 --> 00:18:38,519 Oh, it hit me like a ton of bricks. 422 00:18:38,519 --> 00:18:41,555 ♪ 423 00:18:41,555 --> 00:18:45,259 Now, let's announce tonight's winners. 424 00:18:45,259 --> 00:18:48,629 Hold on, there's one more entry! 425 00:18:48,629 --> 00:18:52,432 A strange man with an object hidden under a pillowcase? 426 00:18:52,432 --> 00:18:55,802 Come on up! I want to see this. 427 00:18:56,670 --> 00:18:59,506 I was told to find a new way to communicate. 428 00:18:59,506 --> 00:19:03,410 My stepbrother Calvin expresses his feelings through taxidermy, 429 00:19:03,410 --> 00:19:07,347 so I decided I would do the same. 430 00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:10,150 That's not taxidermy, you idjit! 431 00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:13,754 But it's very deep. And... sad. 432 00:19:13,754 --> 00:19:17,624 The small shell pleading with its eyes to the larger one. 433 00:19:17,624 --> 00:19:22,029 It is clearly about a son's need for his father's approval. 434 00:19:22,029 --> 00:19:25,732 What? It's just two smelly shells glued on a board. 435 00:19:25,732 --> 00:19:30,537 Abe, look at it. Really look at it. 436 00:19:30,537 --> 00:19:31,805 Hmm. 437 00:19:31,805 --> 00:19:33,807 ♪ 438 00:19:33,807 --> 00:19:35,442 (groans) 439 00:19:36,677 --> 00:19:38,612 (gasps) 440 00:19:39,713 --> 00:19:44,852 (sniffles) What these shells are saying, is that how you feel? 441 00:19:44,852 --> 00:19:47,888 You seem to love being a dad to Calvin, 442 00:19:47,888 --> 00:19:52,459 but you hated being a dad to me. (sobs) 443 00:19:52,459 --> 00:19:57,130 No, son, no. See, when you were a kid, 444 00:19:57,130 --> 00:20:00,901 being a dad felt like the end of my youth. 445 00:20:00,901 --> 00:20:02,970 But now with Calvin, 446 00:20:02,970 --> 00:20:06,240 it's my last chance to feel young. 447 00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:10,911 Oh, so what you're saying is no matter how old you are, 448 00:20:10,911 --> 00:20:14,982 it's only ever been about what you need. 449 00:20:14,982 --> 00:20:17,751 You finally get me. 450 00:20:17,751 --> 00:20:20,287 It wasn't because I was a bad kid. 451 00:20:20,287 --> 00:20:23,824 You're just horribly flawed. 452 00:20:23,824 --> 00:20:25,959 I am! 453 00:20:25,959 --> 00:20:28,262 (cheering) 454 00:20:28,262 --> 00:20:31,031 Another family saved by taxidermy. 455 00:20:31,031 --> 00:20:32,699 All right, let's wrap things up. 456 00:20:32,699 --> 00:20:35,102 We have 20 minutes before this room is taken over 457 00:20:35,102 --> 00:20:37,404 by the Massage Table Expo. 458 00:20:37,404 --> 00:20:39,106 Captioning sponsored by 20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION 459 00:20:39,106 --> 00:20:40,841 and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 460 00:20:40,841 --> 00:20:42,409 and TOYOTA. 461 00:20:42,409 --> 00:20:44,611 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 462 00:20:49,183 --> 00:20:51,385 So, Blythe dumped me for a guy 463 00:20:51,385 --> 00:20:53,554 she says is a better spiritual match for her. 464 00:20:53,554 --> 00:20:56,490 Also, he's super rich and can eat corn. 465 00:20:56,490 --> 00:20:59,026 He's taking Calvin to Africa to study animals 466 00:20:59,026 --> 00:21:00,961 in their natural habitat. 467 00:21:00,961 --> 00:21:03,397 I'll miss that little scamp, but you know, 468 00:21:03,397 --> 00:21:06,967 I'm glad you and I are finally communicating. 469 00:21:06,967 --> 00:21:10,404 I love you, son. Anyway, call me back. 470 00:21:10,404 --> 00:21:13,140 - (phone chimes) - Your dad left you another message. 471 00:21:13,140 --> 00:21:15,676 Eh, it's probably just a butt-dial. 472 00:21:28,589 --> 00:21:29,690 Shh!