1
00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:11,578
Everything here
is made out of garbage.
2
00:00:11,578 --> 00:00:15,115
Upcycling is at the very core
of the modern maker movement.
3
00:00:15,115 --> 00:00:16,950
It's very responsible.
4
00:00:16,950 --> 00:00:19,419
Like these doggie chew toys
made out of...
5
00:00:19,419 --> 00:00:21,088
used retainers?
6
00:00:21,088 --> 00:00:23,056
Ugh! Too responsible!
7
00:00:24,591 --> 00:00:27,194
Hey, guys.
You're craft fair fans, too?
8
00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:29,997
Ew, no. We're doing
a photo scavenger hunt
9
00:00:29,997 --> 00:00:31,798
for Francine's birthday party.
10
00:00:31,798 --> 00:00:33,834
We need a picture
of something sad.
11
00:00:33,834 --> 00:00:35,769
I wonder why I wasn't invited.
12
00:00:35,769 --> 00:00:39,873
'Cause you're a party narc
who ruins everybody's fun.
13
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:42,543
What?
When have I ever done that?
14
00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:45,312
You once deflated a bouncy house
'cause you smelled mildew.
15
00:00:45,312 --> 00:00:46,446
You shut down a pool party
16
00:00:46,446 --> 00:00:48,248
'cause the diving board
wasn't code.
17
00:00:48,248 --> 00:00:49,483
You stopped a barbecue
18
00:00:49,483 --> 00:00:51,885
because the fire extinguishers
were expired.
19
00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:53,754
Okay, okay, I get it.
20
00:00:53,754 --> 00:00:55,622
Basically, you're a wet blanket.
21
00:00:55,622 --> 00:00:57,758
That's not true,
she's more like a blanket
22
00:00:57,758 --> 00:01:00,627
that tattles and kills all joy.
23
00:01:00,627 --> 00:01:02,329
Ooh, that's sad.
24
00:01:05,199 --> 00:01:08,101
Oh, what a beautiful little box.
25
00:01:08,101 --> 00:01:09,536
I'll take this.
26
00:01:09,536 --> 00:01:11,104
You'll need this polish.
27
00:01:11,104 --> 00:01:13,273
It's my blend
of secret ingredients,
28
00:01:13,273 --> 00:01:16,977
including carnauba wax.
That-that one's not a secret.
29
00:01:16,977 --> 00:01:18,712
Okay, I'll take both.
30
00:01:18,712 --> 00:01:20,047
I have to explain to the box
31
00:01:20,047 --> 00:01:21,815
that it's going
to live with you now.
32
00:01:21,815 --> 00:01:23,750
Okay, baby, you're gonna go...
33
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:26,019
Are you
seeing this?
34
00:01:26,019 --> 00:01:28,021
Are you seeing that?
35
00:01:28,021 --> 00:01:30,691
Man bun.
36
00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:33,327
Pathetic old dude
thinks death won't find him
37
00:01:33,327 --> 00:01:35,495
if he has a freaky hair lump.
38
00:01:35,495 --> 00:01:38,398
Stupid bun.
39
00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:42,035
Homer, Marge!
40
00:01:42,035 --> 00:01:44,905
You finally get
to meet my special lady.
41
00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:46,740
This is Blythe.
42
00:01:46,740 --> 00:01:49,376
Special lady? Since when?
43
00:01:49,376 --> 00:01:53,146
Oh. Oh, it's been
almost six months.
44
00:01:53,146 --> 00:01:55,048
And we're just
hearing about it now?
45
00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:58,318
What do you mean?
I left you tons of messages.
46
00:01:58,318 --> 00:02:00,487
I thought those were
all butt-dials.
47
00:02:01,388 --> 00:02:03,323
Homer, I've met someone...
48
00:02:03,323 --> 00:02:05,058
I'm in lo...
49
00:02:05,058 --> 00:02:06,960
Blythe and I
are getting seri...
50
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:11,932
I fell out of the senior van
and I'm lost...
51
00:02:11,932 --> 00:02:13,333
How did you two meet?
52
00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:15,736
I was hired by
the Retirement Castle
53
00:02:15,736 --> 00:02:20,307
to cleanse auras with
a therapeutic sound bath.
54
00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:22,376
But I don't want inner peace.
55
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:29,383
But when she started
gongin' her gongs,
56
00:02:29,383 --> 00:02:33,887
it felt like I stuck my tongue
in love's power outlet.
57
00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:37,124
Oh, wow.
58
00:02:37,124 --> 00:02:39,660
As Abe vibrated past,
59
00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:43,463
there was something inside him
that called to me.
60
00:02:43,463 --> 00:02:46,667
It was the bullet I fired
into my foot during the war
61
00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:48,535
to get out of KP duty.
62
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:58,946
We're not wasting
any more time.
63
00:02:58,946 --> 00:03:00,914
I'm moving in with her.
64
00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:04,051
I finally found true love.
65
00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:06,386
And I finally won't have to pay
66
00:03:06,386 --> 00:03:09,923
for your retirement home.
67
00:03:12,492 --> 00:03:14,862
You have so many chimes.
68
00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:17,064
You're not going
to miss any wind.
69
00:03:17,064 --> 00:03:19,333
Ooh, this is my son Calvin.
70
00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:21,502
Felicitous greetings
on this day to you.
71
00:03:21,502 --> 00:03:23,437
That's how this one guy talked
in Star Trek
72
00:03:23,437 --> 00:03:25,005
when they went
to a Shakespeare planet.
73
00:03:25,005 --> 00:03:26,707
It's how I'm saying hello
these days.
74
00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:29,376
Oh, uh, hello-eth to you.
75
00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:31,111
What a charmer.
76
00:03:31,111 --> 00:03:33,447
- How old is Calvin?
- 11.
77
00:03:33,447 --> 00:03:35,716
Hmm, so you had him
when you were...
78
00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:38,085
Oh, he's adopted.
79
00:03:38,085 --> 00:03:42,389
Cute kid, but, man,
my dad's gonna eat him alive.
80
00:03:44,791 --> 00:03:46,927
Hey, there's my guy.
81
00:03:46,927 --> 00:03:48,228
Wha?
82
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:50,230
Uppies!
83
00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:55,836
He never gave me uppies.
84
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:03,877
Abe and Calvin
love to cook for company.
85
00:04:03,877 --> 00:04:05,612
Final looks on
the plating, chef.
86
00:04:05,612 --> 00:04:08,782
That one needs a sweep
of balsamic, chef.
87
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:11,218
Nobody's refilled
my water glass.
88
00:04:11,218 --> 00:04:13,987
This restaurant
would get zero Michelin tires.
89
00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:16,657
Tonight we've made for you
a roasted chicken
90
00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:18,192
with apricot and fennel.
91
00:04:18,192 --> 00:04:20,727
- Mmm.
- How are we enjoying
the first bites?
92
00:04:20,727 --> 00:04:22,196
Hmm...
93
00:04:22,196 --> 00:04:25,165
Well, I'm not
getting fennel at all.
94
00:04:25,165 --> 00:04:26,733
So that's a fail.
95
00:04:26,733 --> 00:04:28,035
Don't be rude.
96
00:04:28,035 --> 00:04:29,570
Shelf rat!
97
00:04:29,570 --> 00:04:33,006
Well, they're both rodents,
but this little dude
98
00:04:33,006 --> 00:04:36,376
is a Sciuridae, or squirrel,
if you prefer.
99
00:04:36,376 --> 00:04:39,012
I'd prefer that it not
stare into my soul
100
00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:40,447
like it knows my sins.
101
00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:44,284
Calvin does taxidermy.
That's one of his pieces.
102
00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:48,755
He's a rising star in the field.
He takes classes with adults.
103
00:04:48,755 --> 00:04:50,390
You can't even see
the tire tracks
104
00:04:50,390 --> 00:04:52,292
on this guy anymore.
105
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:54,428
Uhp, time for your
glocky-drops, Abe.
106
00:04:54,428 --> 00:04:58,665
Aw, that stuff makes me blinder
than an umpire in a mineshaft.
107
00:04:58,665 --> 00:05:02,803
You know the drill, commodore.
Head back, eyes open.
108
00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:06,073
Rain, rain.
109
00:05:06,073 --> 00:05:08,041
Windshield wipers!
110
00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:13,680
Here you go, sweetie.
111
00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:18,051
We made that chestnut stuffing
I know you love.
112
00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:21,655
Abe, you're feeding
the thermostat again.
113
00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:24,358
D'oh! Damn glocky-drops!
114
00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:28,962
Yo, our grandfather
Abe Simpson moved out,
115
00:05:28,962 --> 00:05:31,331
but left his...
denture cup.
116
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:32,633
Do you have a lost and found?
117
00:05:32,633 --> 00:05:34,468
Please say you don't have
a lost and found.
118
00:05:34,468 --> 00:05:35,736
Oh, Abe's moved out?
119
00:05:35,736 --> 00:05:38,205
Well, his room is paid up
for the next two weeks.
120
00:05:38,205 --> 00:05:40,541
Uh, actually, I misspoke.
121
00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:44,912
Um, Abe is still using the room.
Using it like crazy.
122
00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:48,949
We own this place
for two whole weeks.
123
00:05:48,949 --> 00:05:51,051
- Hmm.
- We can take a shower
in a chair,
124
00:05:51,051 --> 00:05:53,287
- flush the toilet
a million times...
- Interesting.
125
00:05:53,287 --> 00:05:56,657
Oh, you're gonna tell Mom and
Dad about this, aren't you?
126
00:05:56,657 --> 00:06:00,794
Nope, this is one whistle
I'm not gonna blow.
127
00:06:00,794 --> 00:06:05,199
Instead,
what if we used this room
128
00:06:05,199 --> 00:06:08,502
to throw the greatest
slumber party ever?
129
00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:10,404
No rules, no limits,
130
00:06:10,404 --> 00:06:14,208
and, dare I say it,
no slumbering.
131
00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:16,210
Tell me more.
132
00:06:18,312 --> 00:06:21,281
Also, that kid
is not that good of a cook.
133
00:06:21,281 --> 00:06:23,050
There's such a thing
as chicken being
134
00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:25,018
too tender and juicy, you know?
135
00:06:25,018 --> 00:06:28,555
Our wood is really loving
this carnauba stuff.
136
00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:31,792
And what kind of kid
does taxidermy?
137
00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:33,293
Dead animals are meant to be
138
00:06:33,293 --> 00:06:35,429
poked with a stick,
end of story.
139
00:06:35,429 --> 00:06:38,832
Homer, you've been complaining
about Calvin for three days.
140
00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:41,235
Why are you
so obsessed with him?
141
00:06:41,235 --> 00:06:43,537
What? I don't
think about him at all.
142
00:06:43,537 --> 00:06:46,974
But did you notice
how he asked to be excused?
143
00:06:46,974 --> 00:06:49,409
That speaks to
a guilty conscience.
144
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:50,377
And another thing.
145
00:06:50,377 --> 00:06:52,279
Why is my tongue swelling up?
146
00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:54,515
What is this rash?
147
00:06:54,515 --> 00:06:56,383
Oh, my gosh.
148
00:06:56,383 --> 00:07:00,120
You must be having an allergic
reaction to the carnauba wax.
149
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,389
Well, stop using it!
150
00:07:02,389 --> 00:07:05,759
I-I've rubbed it
into the floors, the windows.
151
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:09,029
Every wood surface in the house
has been carnauba'd!
152
00:07:09,029 --> 00:07:11,131
It'll take weeks to dissipate!
153
00:07:11,131 --> 00:07:13,467
But where do I go to breathe?
154
00:07:15,802 --> 00:07:18,005
Yay, you're here.
155
00:07:18,005 --> 00:07:20,274
I was putting up
glow-in-the-dark stars.
156
00:07:20,274 --> 00:07:21,975
I'll let you
distribute the other half,
157
00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:24,278
since you're
kind of like my brother now.
158
00:07:24,278 --> 00:07:27,181
Brother?
I'm a grown man.
159
00:07:27,181 --> 00:07:30,417
Half?
This is barely a third. No fair!
160
00:07:30,417 --> 00:07:31,451
Dad!
161
00:07:36,023 --> 00:07:39,326
Okay, Harry Potter
chapter read, pillow fluffed...
162
00:07:39,326 --> 00:07:42,462
Scary German puppet
turned to face the wall.
163
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:43,897
Uh-huh.
164
00:07:43,897 --> 00:07:47,434
And now, a good-night kiss.
165
00:07:47,434 --> 00:07:48,902
Mmm...
166
00:07:48,902 --> 00:07:50,270
Watch your feet!
167
00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:54,908
Night, Calvin.
168
00:07:54,908 --> 00:07:58,979
Psst. Homer.
Want to play 20 questions?
169
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:02,716
Okay.
Question number one: Shut up.
170
00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:04,418
You're funny.
171
00:08:04,418 --> 00:08:05,953
We should go out
on our bikes tomorrow.
172
00:08:05,953 --> 00:08:09,256
I know this place by the nuclear
plant that has the best jumps.
173
00:08:09,256 --> 00:08:10,991
Oh, wait.
Did you bring your bike?
174
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:13,293
I don't have a bike,
I have a car.
175
00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:15,395
And I don't play
at the nuclear plant,
176
00:08:15,395 --> 00:08:20,000
I work there
because I am a grown-up.
177
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,002
Abe says I'm mature for my age.
178
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:23,704
When we check in
at a restaurant,
179
00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:24,972
he gives the host my name,
180
00:08:24,972 --> 00:08:27,241
so I'm practically
a grown-up, too.
181
00:08:27,241 --> 00:08:29,343
No, you're not.
You're a pants-wetting baby.
182
00:08:29,343 --> 00:08:32,112
That is patently untrue.
183
00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:34,014
I have
excellent bladder control.
184
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:36,884
If anything,
I hold it in too long.
185
00:08:36,884 --> 00:08:38,051
Pants-wetting baby!
186
00:08:38,051 --> 00:08:40,420
Stop lying!
187
00:08:40,420 --> 00:08:43,490
You threw that zipper-first!
188
00:08:44,424 --> 00:08:48,195
My orrery!
Eat gas giants!
189
00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:51,498
I'll give you a gas giant!
190
00:08:52,332 --> 00:08:55,769
Stop squirming
and let me fart...
191
00:08:55,769 --> 00:08:58,038
- No!
- ...on your head!
192
00:08:58,038 --> 00:09:00,140
Never!
193
00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:01,275
Ow!
194
00:09:01,275 --> 00:09:05,245
I welcomed you into my home,
195
00:09:05,245 --> 00:09:08,982
my room,
where I keep my artifacts.
196
00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:12,753
But you, sir, are a butt brain!
197
00:09:12,753 --> 00:09:16,290
From here on out, it's war.
198
00:09:52,626 --> 00:09:55,896
Thank you, Mother.
Pickup is noon tomorrow.
199
00:09:55,896 --> 00:09:58,732
Don't be early.
Bye, now.
200
00:10:00,234 --> 00:10:03,437
Drive away. Don't look back.
201
00:10:09,376 --> 00:10:12,246
Welcome to our pop-up sleepover.
202
00:10:12,246 --> 00:10:14,715
Do you have the "birthday gift"?
203
00:10:14,715 --> 00:10:17,484
One $25 gift card.
204
00:10:20,521 --> 00:10:24,258
Take off your shoes,
we have unlimited bed-jumping.
205
00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:29,029
I've never felt so alive!
206
00:10:29,029 --> 00:10:33,100
We got PG-13 movies,
rated "M" videogames.
207
00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:34,668
What if Mother calls?
208
00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:38,305
We got Milhouse in the closet
standing by. Guy's a pro.
209
00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:40,974
Oh, hello, Wendell's mom.
210
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:44,044
Yes, I will remind him
to wear his night guard,
211
00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:47,447
because I am another parent.
Love you.
212
00:10:48,515 --> 00:10:53,787
Lis, take a moment.
We did this. You did this.
213
00:10:56,190 --> 00:10:58,392
♪
214
00:11:01,762 --> 00:11:04,898
I am Lisa, bringer of fun.
215
00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:07,668
Driest of blankets.
216
00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:11,972
Must you hit every bump?
217
00:11:12,973 --> 00:11:13,974
Oh!
218
00:11:13,974 --> 00:11:15,275
Oops.
219
00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:17,778
I make a million dollars a year.
Did you know that?
220
00:11:17,778 --> 00:11:19,513
- No, you don't.
- Oh, yeah?
221
00:11:19,513 --> 00:11:21,748
Then why do
I have a ton of DVDs?
222
00:11:21,748 --> 00:11:23,684
What's a DVD?
223
00:11:24,518 --> 00:11:27,154
Ugh, your car smells like
fried chicken.
224
00:11:27,154 --> 00:11:29,857
No, I smell like fried chicken.
225
00:11:29,857 --> 00:11:32,893
Can you breathe
through your mouth?
226
00:11:32,893 --> 00:11:34,995
Your nose is squeaky.
227
00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:41,034
Yeah?
228
00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:04,691
Wow, Calvin, what a great start.
229
00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:08,295
But how would a pelican have
access to a freshwater fish?
230
00:12:08,295 --> 00:12:11,598
Well, that's the joke!
231
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:16,537
Oh, so funny to murder
innocent water birds.
232
00:12:16,537 --> 00:12:19,907
Uh, it died
of natural causes, ding-dong.
233
00:12:19,907 --> 00:12:22,009
I have a network
of park ranger friends
234
00:12:22,009 --> 00:12:23,544
who save dead animals for me.
235
00:12:23,544 --> 00:12:27,347
So you're not a psychopath,
just a weirdo. Got it.
236
00:12:27,347 --> 00:12:29,750
It's always sad
when an animal dies,
237
00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:33,887
but this pelican gets to
speak to the world as art.
238
00:12:33,887 --> 00:12:36,123
I was inspired to make this
239
00:12:36,123 --> 00:12:38,592
after Abe told me about
his time in the war.
240
00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:42,629
His stories are so cool,
but disturbing.
241
00:12:42,629 --> 00:12:43,664
I will not sit here
242
00:12:43,664 --> 00:12:47,100
and have you call
my father's stories cool!
243
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:49,069
They're meandering and endless.
244
00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:52,706
I'm going to Moe's,
where people know what's boring.
245
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:55,876
And it's not just taxidermy,
246
00:12:55,876 --> 00:12:58,278
Calvin's got
a million creepy hobbies.
247
00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:00,781
And my dad
thinks they're all great.
248
00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:04,685
When I was his age, I was
cleaning pool covers from below.
249
00:13:04,685 --> 00:13:08,288
Yeah, going house to house
with my scrub brush and Speedo.
250
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:11,291
I stuck googly eyes on shells
and sold them at the beach.
251
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:13,560
Till my dad
told me to knock it off
252
00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:15,796
because people would think
I was a freak.
253
00:13:15,796 --> 00:13:18,765
Yeah, my pop also
told me to lay low.
254
00:13:18,765 --> 00:13:20,567
Literally.
We were gravediggers.
255
00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:23,170
We took turns
sleeping in open graves.
256
00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:25,138
Heh. Nothin' builds character
257
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:28,675
like waking up to a coffin
being lowered on top of youse.
258
00:13:28,675 --> 00:13:30,611
To unprocessed trauma.
259
00:13:33,046 --> 00:13:35,649
- Hi, Lisa!
- She waved to us!
260
00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:38,051
Our sleepover is a hit.
261
00:13:38,051 --> 00:13:39,853
We have the room
for one more weekend.
262
00:13:39,853 --> 00:13:42,189
We're gonna be
gift card thousand-aires.
263
00:13:42,189 --> 00:13:45,058
No, Bart, we have
to reinvest in our next party.
264
00:13:45,058 --> 00:13:46,493
We have to top ourselves.
265
00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:50,063
I'm thinking face painters,
walk-around SpongeBob,
266
00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:52,633
one of those pools
you can surf in.
267
00:13:52,633 --> 00:13:56,336
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Are you chain-sucking lollypops?
268
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:58,038
Just need a little something
269
00:13:58,038 --> 00:14:00,007
'cause I didn't sleep much
last night.
270
00:14:00,007 --> 00:14:02,409
I was pricing
mashed potato stations.
271
00:14:02,409 --> 00:14:06,413
Lisa, in the non-weekend world,
you have to have a bedtime.
272
00:14:06,413 --> 00:14:08,916
I don't want to live in
the non-weekend world.
273
00:14:08,916 --> 00:14:11,285
We've only got one more chance
274
00:14:11,285 --> 00:14:14,688
to scrawl our names
across the slumber party sky.
275
00:14:14,688 --> 00:14:16,757
I'll sleep when I'm nine.
276
00:14:25,465 --> 00:14:27,134
Hmm? Hmm.
277
00:14:27,134 --> 00:14:28,836
Look at me, I'm Calvin.
278
00:14:28,836 --> 00:14:31,205
I'm little but I use big words.
279
00:14:31,205 --> 00:14:34,107
Son, I know it's hard
sharing a room
280
00:14:34,107 --> 00:14:37,945
with someone so,
uh, different than you.
281
00:14:37,945 --> 00:14:41,415
But you've handled it
with grace and maturity.
282
00:14:42,683 --> 00:14:44,852
Anyway, I just wanted to say
283
00:14:44,852 --> 00:14:48,055
I'm so proud of you... Calvin.
284
00:14:48,055 --> 00:14:50,524
Ooh, aah, dah!
285
00:14:50,524 --> 00:14:54,928
I can't see a thing with
these glaucoma drops.
286
00:14:54,928 --> 00:14:56,196
He thinks I'm Calvin.
287
00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:58,165
Look at how he looks at him.
288
00:14:58,165 --> 00:15:00,234
He never looked at me that way.
289
00:15:00,234 --> 00:15:02,703
Are you okay, kid?
You seem kind of quiet.
290
00:15:02,703 --> 00:15:05,239
It's just...
I've never heard you say
291
00:15:05,239 --> 00:15:09,843
you were proud of me.
Ever. In my entire life.
292
00:15:09,843 --> 00:15:11,478
What are you talking about?
293
00:15:11,478 --> 00:15:14,648
I say that to you
all the time, Calvin.
294
00:15:14,648 --> 00:15:17,451
Oh.
295
00:15:17,451 --> 00:15:18,785
I forgot.
296
00:15:26,493 --> 00:15:30,130
Homer, you villain!
Do not harm that birdhouse.
297
00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:32,466
The nuthatches
did nothing to you!
298
00:15:34,001 --> 00:15:35,469
What's wrong with you?
299
00:15:35,469 --> 00:15:38,972
My dad kisses the butt
you walk on.
300
00:15:38,972 --> 00:15:41,141
I'd get it
if you were great at sports,
301
00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:44,211
or fixing cars,
or demolishing buildings,
302
00:15:44,211 --> 00:15:46,747
but you're just
a weird little kid.
303
00:15:46,747 --> 00:15:49,116
And my dad
hates weird little kids.
304
00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:52,019
At least... he sure hated me.
305
00:15:52,019 --> 00:15:55,222
Homer, Abe doesn't hate you.
306
00:15:55,222 --> 00:15:56,623
Oh, yeah? I'll show you.
307
00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:59,493
We got ten minutes
until his eyedrops wear off.
308
00:15:59,493 --> 00:16:01,628
You be me.
309
00:16:03,664 --> 00:16:05,465
Dad, do you have a second?
310
00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:08,802
Dang it, Homer. Do you think
I'm made of seconds?
311
00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:12,673
I was in the middle of a very
important word find puzzle.
312
00:16:12,673 --> 00:16:16,143
I was about to find the longest
diagonal of my career.
313
00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:17,411
Now what do you want?!
314
00:16:17,411 --> 00:16:18,979
Um, I-I...
315
00:16:18,979 --> 00:16:21,582
You, you, you nothing!
316
00:16:23,150 --> 00:16:25,986
Wow, that was harsh.
317
00:16:25,986 --> 00:16:28,522
Do you ever tell him
how he makes you feel?
318
00:16:28,522 --> 00:16:31,758
Kinda. I stuck him in the worst
nursing home I could find.
319
00:16:31,758 --> 00:16:33,527
Figured he'd
read between the lines.
320
00:16:33,527 --> 00:16:37,030
I think you need to find a new
way to express your feelings.
321
00:16:37,030 --> 00:16:39,666
It might need to be more
than just words.
322
00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:44,404
But my way with words be my
best moutha-ma-callits. Aw.
323
00:16:44,404 --> 00:16:47,207
You'll figure out a way
to get through to your dad.
324
00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:49,977
You just need to put on
your thinking cap.
325
00:16:56,950 --> 00:16:58,185
Where have you been?
326
00:16:58,185 --> 00:16:59,586
I had to get Band-Aids.
327
00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:01,722
Lewis got stabbed
with a juice box straw.
328
00:17:01,722 --> 00:17:05,192
Somebody fed the pony Pop Rocks
and he kicked out the TV.
329
00:17:05,192 --> 00:17:07,027
His poop is popping!
330
00:17:09,730 --> 00:17:13,133
The climbing wall collapsed
onto the Reptile Rodeo.
331
00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:15,435
There's loose tails everywhere.
332
00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:19,740
I tried to throw a party,
but the party threw me.
333
00:17:19,740 --> 00:17:21,642
I'm putting a stop to this.
334
00:17:21,642 --> 00:17:22,943
Are you sure?
335
00:17:22,943 --> 00:17:24,645
You know
what that will make you.
336
00:17:25,546 --> 00:17:28,248
Hello? Yes,
I'd like to blow the whistle
337
00:17:28,248 --> 00:17:31,985
on an out-of-control party
at The Retirement Castle.
338
00:17:31,985 --> 00:17:36,757
Oh, my name?
It's Lisa Simpson, party narc.
339
00:17:37,558 --> 00:17:40,994
Well, the party's shut down,
kids are packing up their stuff.
340
00:17:40,994 --> 00:17:43,564
Great.
I'm sure they all hate me.
341
00:17:43,564 --> 00:17:45,299
Yeah, probably.
342
00:17:45,299 --> 00:17:48,902
I gotta dump the churro sugar
out of my shoes.
343
00:17:51,271 --> 00:17:52,773
They've arrested Lisa!
344
00:17:52,773 --> 00:17:56,877
She's paying the ultimate price
for throwing the ultimate party.
345
00:17:56,877 --> 00:17:58,712
You're our hero, Lisa!
346
00:18:01,515 --> 00:18:03,483
If you drive me home
with the siren on,
347
00:18:03,483 --> 00:18:06,620
we've got a freezer
full of Snickers.
348
00:18:06,620 --> 00:18:08,455
Go, Lisa!
349
00:18:08,455 --> 00:18:11,491
- Lisa, you're the best!
- You got this, Lisa!
350
00:18:11,491 --> 00:18:13,293
Call your lawyer!
351
00:18:18,699 --> 00:18:21,935
There's some really
inspiring work here tonight.
352
00:18:22,803 --> 00:18:26,740
Yours is a blistering indictment
of American consumerism.
353
00:18:26,740 --> 00:18:28,542
I love how the middle joey
354
00:18:28,542 --> 00:18:30,277
is looking in
the opposite direction,
355
00:18:30,277 --> 00:18:33,113
as if imagining
a different future.
356
00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:35,949
Glad you got that.
I worried it was too subtle.
357
00:18:35,949 --> 00:18:38,519
Oh, it hit me
like a ton of bricks.
358
00:18:41,555 --> 00:18:45,259
Now, let's announce
tonight's winners.
359
00:18:45,259 --> 00:18:48,629
Hold on, there's one more entry!
360
00:18:48,629 --> 00:18:52,432
A strange man with an object
hidden under a pillowcase?
361
00:18:52,432 --> 00:18:55,802
Come on up!
I want to see this.
362
00:18:56,670 --> 00:18:59,506
I was told to find
a new way to communicate.
363
00:18:59,506 --> 00:19:03,410
My stepbrother Calvin expresses
his feelings through taxidermy,
364
00:19:03,410 --> 00:19:07,347
so I decided
I would do the same.
365
00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:10,150
That's not taxidermy, you idjit!
366
00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:13,754
But it's very deep. And... sad.
367
00:19:13,754 --> 00:19:17,624
The small shell pleading with
its eyes to the larger one.
368
00:19:17,624 --> 00:19:22,029
It is clearly about a son's need
for his father's approval.
369
00:19:22,029 --> 00:19:25,732
What? It's just two smelly
shells glued on a board.
370
00:19:25,732 --> 00:19:30,537
Abe, look at it.
Really look at it.
371
00:19:30,537 --> 00:19:31,805
Hmm.
372
00:19:39,713 --> 00:19:44,852
What these shells are
saying, is that how you feel?
373
00:19:44,852 --> 00:19:47,888
You seem to love
being a dad to Calvin,
374
00:19:47,888 --> 00:19:52,459
but you hated
being a dad to me.
375
00:19:52,459 --> 00:19:57,130
No, son, no.
See, when you were a kid,
376
00:19:57,130 --> 00:20:00,901
being a dad felt like
the end of my youth.
377
00:20:00,901 --> 00:20:02,970
But now with Calvin,
378
00:20:02,970 --> 00:20:06,240
it's my last chance
to feel young.
379
00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:10,911
Oh, so what you're saying is
no matter how old you are,
380
00:20:10,911 --> 00:20:14,982
it's only ever been about
what you need.
381
00:20:14,982 --> 00:20:17,751
You finally get me.
382
00:20:17,751 --> 00:20:20,287
It wasn't because
I was a bad kid.
383
00:20:20,287 --> 00:20:23,824
You're just horribly flawed.
384
00:20:23,824 --> 00:20:25,959
I am!
385
00:20:28,262 --> 00:20:31,031
Another family
saved by taxidermy.
386
00:20:31,031 --> 00:20:32,699
All right, let's wrap things up.
387
00:20:32,699 --> 00:20:35,102
We have 20 minutes
before this room is taken over
388
00:20:35,102 --> 00:20:37,404
by the Massage Table Expo.
389
00:20:37,404 --> 00:20:39,106
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
390
00:20:39,106 --> 00:20:40,841
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
391
00:20:40,841 --> 00:20:42,409
and TOYOTA.
392
00:20:42,409 --> 00:20:44,611
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
393
00:20:49,183 --> 00:20:51,385
So, Blythe dumped me for a guy
394
00:20:51,385 --> 00:20:53,554
she says is a better
spiritual match for her.
395
00:20:53,554 --> 00:20:56,490
Also, he's super rich
and can eat corn.
396
00:20:56,490 --> 00:20:59,026
He's taking Calvin to Africa
to study animals
397
00:20:59,026 --> 00:21:00,961
in their natural habitat.
398
00:21:00,961 --> 00:21:03,397
I'll miss that little scamp,
but you know,
399
00:21:03,397 --> 00:21:06,967
I'm glad you and I
are finally communicating.
400
00:21:06,967 --> 00:21:10,404
I love you, son.
Anyway, call me back.
401
00:21:10,404 --> 00:21:13,140
Your dad left you
another message.
402
00:21:13,140 --> 00:21:15,676
Eh, it's probably
just a butt-dial.
403
00:21:28,589 --> 00:21:29,690
Shh!