1 00:00:01,631 --> 00:00:05,631 ♪ The Simpsons 27x21 ♪ Simprovised Original Air Date on May 15, 2016 2 00:00:05,632 --> 00:00:09,000 Yeah, I know Ralphie's birthday is coming up. 3 00:00:09,036 --> 00:00:11,002 Of course I'm gonna get him a present. 4 00:00:11,038 --> 00:00:14,172 I'm at the... at the toy store right now. 5 00:00:14,207 --> 00:00:16,474 Let's see, present for Ralph, 6 00:00:16,510 --> 00:00:18,043 present for Ralph... 7 00:00:18,078 --> 00:00:19,844 Ooh, what do we have here? 8 00:00:19,880 --> 00:00:22,814 Boy, Ralph would kill himself with this in two seconds. 9 00:00:22,849 --> 00:00:24,783 And somehow it'd be my fault. 10 00:00:24,818 --> 00:00:26,117 Mm! 11 00:00:27,487 --> 00:00:29,955 This money has been sitting here since 1998, 12 00:00:29,990 --> 00:00:32,157 not doing anybody any good. 13 00:00:32,192 --> 00:00:34,192 I want to get Ralphie something nice. 14 00:00:34,227 --> 00:00:37,062 Yeah, a few thousand should do. Hm-mm. 15 00:00:41,468 --> 00:00:42,867 Uh, you heard me whistling there, right? 16 00:00:42,903 --> 00:00:44,769 That indicates innocence. 17 00:00:44,805 --> 00:00:47,639 Uh, proclaiming your innocence indicates guilt. 18 00:00:47,674 --> 00:00:49,207 Uh, yeah? Well, what does this mean? 19 00:00:49,242 --> 00:00:51,042 ♪ Skiddily bop and bah! ♪ 20 00:00:57,084 --> 00:00:59,718 Okay, so, at a Ralph party, always get to the cake before... 21 00:00:59,753 --> 00:01:00,518 Too late. 22 00:01:03,357 --> 00:01:06,591 That's the best damn treehouse I've ever seen! 23 00:01:10,931 --> 00:01:13,198 Fine. I'll rub my eyes the other way. 24 00:01:16,603 --> 00:01:17,669 D'oh! 25 00:01:22,242 --> 00:01:23,842 Whee! 26 00:01:23,877 --> 00:01:25,276 Whee...! 27 00:01:26,346 --> 00:01:27,346 Whoa! 28 00:01:27,381 --> 00:01:29,447 The September issue! 29 00:01:45,866 --> 00:01:48,233 Whoo! Free wood! 30 00:01:50,570 --> 00:01:53,605 Oh... my treehouse sucks. 31 00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:54,706 Haw-haw! 32 00:01:54,741 --> 00:01:56,808 You have class envy! 33 00:01:56,843 --> 00:01:57,742 Nelson, honey, 34 00:01:57,778 --> 00:02:00,445 I told you to stop sayin' "haw-haw." 35 00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:02,280 Give me a dollar and I'll stop. 36 00:02:02,315 --> 00:02:04,082 I don't got a dollar. 37 00:02:04,117 --> 00:02:05,550 Haw-haw! 38 00:02:06,953 --> 00:02:09,120 Do you want to practice your speech on me? 39 00:02:09,156 --> 00:02:11,022 No need, honey. 40 00:02:11,058 --> 00:02:12,724 Same speech I give every year. 41 00:02:12,759 --> 00:02:15,927 The opening joke about Lenny's grandma always kills. 42 00:02:15,962 --> 00:02:17,295 You can't joke about her-- 43 00:02:17,330 --> 00:02:19,230 they just put her on life support. 44 00:02:19,266 --> 00:02:21,599 What?! No! She's the linchpin! 45 00:02:21,635 --> 00:02:23,601 It's okay, it's okay. 46 00:02:23,637 --> 00:02:26,871 Everyone is terrified of public speaking. 47 00:02:26,907 --> 00:02:29,674 But just in case, I'll defrost a failure ham. 48 00:02:33,647 --> 00:02:36,114 You don't have faith in me! I have savers. 49 00:02:36,149 --> 00:02:38,917 If I get heckled, I'll say, "Get a half-life!" 50 00:02:40,654 --> 00:02:43,254 I'm sure that'll be funny to them. 51 00:02:43,290 --> 00:02:44,789 Mm! 52 00:02:46,159 --> 00:02:48,059 Calm down, Homer. 53 00:02:48,095 --> 00:02:49,761 Just leave your body. 54 00:02:50,964 --> 00:02:52,530 Oh, no! 55 00:02:55,869 --> 00:02:58,236 What the hell is this?! 56 00:03:01,341 --> 00:03:04,409 Ooh, throwing away your "No Girls" sign? 57 00:03:04,444 --> 00:03:07,512 Is it time for you to have "the talk" with your dad? 58 00:03:07,547 --> 00:03:10,615 Because he's gonna have to read a few things first. 59 00:03:10,650 --> 00:03:12,150 No. I'm tearing it down. 60 00:03:12,185 --> 00:03:14,686 Ralph has a cool treehouse, and mine sucks. 61 00:03:14,721 --> 00:03:17,021 Well, Bart, your father built it, 62 00:03:17,057 --> 00:03:19,524 and he did the very best he could. 63 00:03:20,961 --> 00:03:23,595 I did my job. Now it's your turn, tree. 64 00:03:23,630 --> 00:03:25,697 Get growing. 65 00:03:25,732 --> 00:03:29,300 I'll tell you what, why don't I spruce it up for you. Huh? 66 00:03:29,336 --> 00:03:31,302 But you're an inside grown-up. 67 00:03:31,338 --> 00:03:33,505 Moms can't build treehouses. 68 00:03:33,540 --> 00:03:37,642 You realize that saying that is gonna make this mom work her keister off 69 00:03:37,677 --> 00:03:40,979 to make you the best darn treehouse you ever saw! 70 00:03:42,182 --> 00:03:44,015 Sounds good. 71 00:03:45,318 --> 00:03:46,384 Don't worry. 72 00:03:46,419 --> 00:03:48,153 You forget, most of that's hair. 73 00:03:48,188 --> 00:03:49,487 So I said, 74 00:03:49,523 --> 00:03:51,022 "Get a half-life!" 75 00:03:58,331 --> 00:03:59,697 Funny and handsome. 76 00:03:59,733 --> 00:04:01,232 And I hear he's loaded. 77 00:04:01,268 --> 00:04:02,667 Yes. 78 00:04:02,702 --> 00:04:05,170 Now, to end this perfect day on the perfect note, 79 00:04:05,205 --> 00:04:07,438 Mr. Homer Simpson. 80 00:04:22,189 --> 00:04:23,922 You're gonna do great, Homer. You're gonna kill. 81 00:04:23,957 --> 00:04:26,958 You're gonna-- oh, where did all these people come from?! 82 00:04:28,295 --> 00:04:29,828 Aah! 83 00:04:29,863 --> 00:04:31,329 Uh, uh... 84 00:04:31,364 --> 00:04:34,699 Webster's Dictionary defines... a speech 85 00:04:34,734 --> 00:04:39,204 as a... series of words that... 86 00:04:39,239 --> 00:04:41,840 elo... quently... 87 00:04:41,875 --> 00:04:43,741 I've never seen anyone bomb like that. 88 00:04:43,777 --> 00:04:46,211 Yeah. I really feel badly for the guy. 89 00:04:46,246 --> 00:04:47,745 Boo! Boo! 90 00:04:53,753 --> 00:04:55,420 I'm a failure. 91 00:04:55,455 --> 00:04:56,921 Shall I release the hounds, sir? 92 00:04:56,957 --> 00:04:59,891 Mm, the therapy hounds. 93 00:05:03,964 --> 00:05:06,231 Oh, oh, I feel a little better. 94 00:05:06,266 --> 00:05:08,099 Now release the real hounds. 95 00:05:11,171 --> 00:05:12,611 It's a pretty good seminar this year. 96 00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:16,576 Dad, what's wrong? Did your speech go badly? 97 00:05:16,676 --> 00:05:18,076 How do you know something's wrong? 98 00:05:18,111 --> 00:05:20,244 You're drinking from a can of corn. 99 00:05:20,280 --> 00:05:21,879 Hmm? Eh. 100 00:05:24,818 --> 00:05:26,684 Aw, Dad, do you know Barbra Streisand 101 00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:28,920 once forgot the words to a song 102 00:05:28,955 --> 00:05:32,323 and didn't perform in public again for nearly three decades? 103 00:05:32,358 --> 00:05:35,226 Yeah, but she still had James Brolin to cuddle. 104 00:05:35,261 --> 00:05:38,329 So, on a scale of ten to ten, how'd you do? 105 00:05:38,364 --> 00:05:39,897 Um... 106 00:05:44,370 --> 00:05:46,437 ♪ Drip drop, you flop ♪ 107 00:05:46,473 --> 00:05:48,506 ♪ Drip drop, you flop ♪ 108 00:05:48,541 --> 00:05:50,508 ♪ Drip drop, you flop ♪ 109 00:05:50,543 --> 00:05:52,610 ♪ Drip drop, you flop ♪ ♪ Fail, fail, fail ♪ 110 00:05:52,645 --> 00:05:54,312 ♪ Drip drop, you flop... ♪ ♪ Fail, fail... ♪ 111 00:05:54,347 --> 00:05:56,314 What the hell is your problem, idiot! 112 00:05:58,084 --> 00:05:59,150 I don't know! 113 00:05:59,185 --> 00:06:01,552 I don't know! 114 00:06:06,059 --> 00:06:07,859 I know what will cheer you up. 115 00:06:07,894 --> 00:06:10,294 We'll go to the comedy club downtown. 116 00:06:10,330 --> 00:06:13,464 Downtown? With all those desperate addicts? 117 00:06:13,500 --> 00:06:16,367 Oh, the city cleaned them up and made them comics. 118 00:06:16,402 --> 00:06:17,602 Cool! 119 00:06:17,637 --> 00:06:20,538 Homie, you're gonna chuckle your blues away. 120 00:06:20,573 --> 00:06:22,673 This is the best kind of comedy. 121 00:06:22,709 --> 00:06:24,709 No writers. Amen to that, Marge. 122 00:06:24,744 --> 00:06:26,677 And I appreciate this, but I really resent 123 00:06:26,713 --> 00:06:28,179 the two-drink minimum! 124 00:06:28,214 --> 00:06:30,214 You always drink more than two drinks. 125 00:06:30,250 --> 00:06:32,183 But no one makes me. 126 00:06:32,218 --> 00:06:34,719 Three Long Island iced teas, please. 127 00:06:35,822 --> 00:06:38,356 Okay, we're gonna perform a little improv. 128 00:06:38,391 --> 00:06:39,957 First we need a location. 129 00:06:39,993 --> 00:06:42,326 Uh, 40.7 degrees north latitude, 130 00:06:42,362 --> 00:06:44,662 74 degrees west longitude. 131 00:06:44,697 --> 00:06:47,131 Ah, yes, New York City. Now we need a relationship 132 00:06:47,167 --> 00:06:48,499 for me and Cathy here. 133 00:06:48,535 --> 00:06:49,867 Loveless marriage! 134 00:06:49,903 --> 00:06:51,969 Okay, I heard loveless marriage. 135 00:06:52,005 --> 00:06:53,404 These guys are pros. 136 00:06:53,439 --> 00:06:55,640 All they did was ask for two premises. 137 00:06:55,675 --> 00:06:58,309 That's two more than you've asked for. 138 00:06:58,344 --> 00:06:59,877 Oh, boy. 139 00:06:59,913 --> 00:07:02,079 All right, all we need now is an object. 140 00:07:02,115 --> 00:07:03,347 Anyone. 141 00:07:04,551 --> 00:07:06,918 Fear of public speaking 142 00:07:06,953 --> 00:07:08,052 Sorry, didn't hear that. 143 00:07:08,087 --> 00:07:11,055 Oh... fear of public speaking. 144 00:07:11,090 --> 00:07:13,057 Maybe he has trouble talking in the dark. 145 00:07:13,092 --> 00:07:15,059 Hey, Jerry, bring up number seven. 146 00:07:16,196 --> 00:07:17,361 No! Jerry, no! 147 00:07:17,397 --> 00:07:19,096 Aah! No! Aah! 148 00:07:19,132 --> 00:07:20,565 Jerry, stop it! No! 149 00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:21,833 Don't... Aah! 150 00:07:21,868 --> 00:07:24,535 Oh, no! Oh-ho-ho! Aah! Oh! 151 00:07:24,571 --> 00:07:27,572 Okay, okay, okay, um... fear of public speaking. 152 00:07:27,607 --> 00:07:29,073 Well, that's not really an object, 153 00:07:29,108 --> 00:07:30,541 but we'll make it work. 154 00:07:30,577 --> 00:07:32,343 New York City, loveless marriage, 155 00:07:32,378 --> 00:07:34,078 fear of public speaking. 156 00:07:34,113 --> 00:07:37,682 They've pulled back the bow-- now let the arrow take flight. 157 00:07:37,717 --> 00:07:39,884 You know, I'm gonna move over a seat. 158 00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:42,620 We now take you to an apartment 159 00:07:42,655 --> 00:07:45,623 on 68th and Columbus Avenue. 160 00:07:45,658 --> 00:07:48,726 Oh... eeh... 161 00:07:48,761 --> 00:07:51,429 aah... aah... ooh... 162 00:07:51,464 --> 00:07:53,364 What? What? Cathy, what's wrong? 163 00:07:53,399 --> 00:07:54,799 I-I... I-I... 164 00:07:54,834 --> 00:07:57,735 I... ah-ah-ah... ah... 165 00:07:57,770 --> 00:07:59,937 Aw, for heaven's sakes, Cathy, when we got married, 166 00:07:59,973 --> 00:08:01,739 you used to speak for hours. 167 00:08:01,774 --> 00:08:04,141 But since we moved to New York City, nothing! 168 00:08:04,177 --> 00:08:06,611 Wow. It all magically fits. 169 00:08:06,646 --> 00:08:09,447 Come on, Cathy, say something! Anything! 170 00:08:09,482 --> 00:08:11,616 Fuggedaboutit! 171 00:08:15,188 --> 00:08:17,455 And scene! 172 00:08:17,490 --> 00:08:20,057 I said "fear of public speaking." 173 00:08:20,093 --> 00:08:23,227 Yes, you did. Very nice. Return to your seat immediately. 174 00:08:23,263 --> 00:08:26,097 Wow. Wow. These guys do everything I can't. 175 00:08:26,132 --> 00:08:27,765 Maybe they can teach me. 176 00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:30,001 I don't know that they're interested in that. 177 00:08:30,036 --> 00:08:32,169 $500 for the first eight classes. 178 00:08:32,205 --> 00:08:33,938 That's kind of expensive. 179 00:08:33,973 --> 00:08:36,841 Couldn't people just form their own groups for free? 180 00:08:36,876 --> 00:08:38,776 And scene. 181 00:08:40,146 --> 00:08:42,980 Uh, uh... excuse me, is this the, uh, 182 00:08:43,016 --> 00:08:44,615 improv class? 183 00:08:44,651 --> 00:08:46,684 Yes, and... come in. 184 00:08:46,719 --> 00:08:47,685 Sit anywhere? 185 00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:50,054 Yes, and... be quiet. 186 00:08:51,124 --> 00:08:52,957 This is it. 187 00:08:52,992 --> 00:08:56,494 I feel my mind exploding with premises. 188 00:09:08,174 --> 00:09:09,674 So many ideas, 189 00:09:09,709 --> 00:09:12,343 but how do I turn them into comedy? 190 00:09:12,378 --> 00:09:16,080 ♪ Oh, kiss me ♪ 191 00:09:16,115 --> 00:09:18,549 ♪ Beneath the milky twilight-- ♪ 192 00:09:20,086 --> 00:09:22,186 Homer, could-could you stay with us, please? 193 00:09:22,221 --> 00:09:23,454 I don't know how. 194 00:09:23,489 --> 00:09:25,456 The secret is to lose yourself 195 00:09:25,491 --> 00:09:28,225 and become, say, a suicidal auctioneer. 196 00:09:28,261 --> 00:09:31,462 I could not possibly imagine what such a person would say. 197 00:09:31,497 --> 00:09:34,065 Well, just remember, it's-it's not you. 198 00:09:34,100 --> 00:09:36,334 Don't you get it? The secret to life 199 00:09:36,369 --> 00:09:38,536 has been right in front of you all along: 200 00:09:38,571 --> 00:09:40,972 Don't be yourself! 201 00:09:41,007 --> 00:09:42,974 Uh, uh, okay. 202 00:09:43,009 --> 00:09:44,976 What am I bid for this noose? 203 00:09:45,011 --> 00:09:46,177 Do hear $100? 204 00:09:46,212 --> 00:09:47,178 No? 205 00:09:47,213 --> 00:09:48,479 Going... going... 206 00:09:52,251 --> 00:09:55,353 That's great! Really took my mind off my sick grandmother. 207 00:09:55,388 --> 00:09:56,754 Oh. 208 00:09:56,789 --> 00:09:59,056 Looks like the hospital left a message. 209 00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:02,159 - Gotta go. - See ya! 210 00:10:02,195 --> 00:10:03,928 It made me laugh. 211 00:10:03,963 --> 00:10:05,730 So, then, you pay me? No, never! 212 00:10:05,765 --> 00:10:08,432 And if you open your own school, we'll break your legs! 213 00:10:08,468 --> 00:10:11,168 You want to give him the one we can never crack? 214 00:10:11,204 --> 00:10:13,904 Queen of Norway buying a car. 215 00:10:15,441 --> 00:10:18,776 Oh, dear! I can't a-fjord it! 216 00:10:18,811 --> 00:10:20,978 A star is born. 217 00:10:24,584 --> 00:10:26,250 Excuse me. 218 00:10:26,285 --> 00:10:28,285 I'm from the city. Are you aware that you live 219 00:10:28,321 --> 00:10:30,521 in a historical treehouse preservation district? 220 00:10:38,898 --> 00:10:40,598 May I see your permits? 221 00:10:40,633 --> 00:10:42,299 I don't have permits. 222 00:10:43,069 --> 00:10:44,035 Don't worry. 223 00:10:44,070 --> 00:10:45,036 D-Don't worry. 224 00:10:45,071 --> 00:10:46,037 I'll take care of it. 225 00:10:51,144 --> 00:10:52,977 I've got to hand it to you, Dad. 226 00:10:53,012 --> 00:10:54,912 You went from fear of public speaking 227 00:10:54,947 --> 00:10:57,648 to starting your own improv troupe. 228 00:10:57,683 --> 00:10:59,250 Improv is exciting, 229 00:10:59,285 --> 00:11:01,052 but totally safe. 230 00:11:01,087 --> 00:11:02,920 Like driving a helicopter on the ground. 231 00:11:02,955 --> 00:11:04,288 Um, that's not safe. 232 00:11:04,323 --> 00:11:05,556 Don't deny the premise. 233 00:11:05,591 --> 00:11:06,957 That's anti-improv. 234 00:11:06,993 --> 00:11:09,727 Note for new character, "Auntie Improv." 235 00:11:09,762 --> 00:11:12,396 May I hear a suggestion? 236 00:11:12,432 --> 00:11:14,632 People, don't freak out, 237 00:11:14,667 --> 00:11:17,635 but the improv critic from the Springfield Shopper 238 00:11:17,670 --> 00:11:19,170 is in the audience. 239 00:11:19,205 --> 00:11:21,338 Steve Thurlson? 240 00:11:21,374 --> 00:11:23,674 No, Thurlson is their improv reporter. 241 00:11:23,709 --> 00:11:25,309 Grant Hood is their improv critic. 242 00:11:25,344 --> 00:11:27,144 Then who's Jennifer Whitehead? 243 00:11:27,180 --> 00:11:28,946 Oh, she writes improv think pieces. 244 00:11:28,981 --> 00:11:30,514 You know, trends, big picture stuff. 245 00:11:30,550 --> 00:11:31,916 Who does the top ten list 246 00:11:31,951 --> 00:11:33,918 at end-of-year "Best of Improv" issue? 247 00:11:33,953 --> 00:11:35,219 They each write their own. 248 00:11:35,254 --> 00:11:36,620 Oh, yeah. 249 00:11:36,656 --> 00:11:38,289 I forgot about that. That's true. 250 00:11:38,324 --> 00:11:40,157 Huh! 251 00:11:43,396 --> 00:11:44,929 Hi, everybody. 252 00:11:44,964 --> 00:11:46,831 We are "Premises, Premises." 253 00:11:46,866 --> 00:11:51,035 Yes, it says on Google that there are 5,012 improv groups 254 00:11:51,070 --> 00:11:53,104 with that name. 255 00:11:53,139 --> 00:11:54,505 Take it, Homer. 256 00:11:54,540 --> 00:11:57,975 Uh, okay, I need a location. 257 00:11:58,010 --> 00:12:00,711 Uh, Jackson Square in New Orleans. 258 00:12:00,746 --> 00:12:03,547 And a type of person that might be there. 259 00:12:03,583 --> 00:12:05,483 Someone with confidence. 260 00:12:05,518 --> 00:12:07,118 Mm, I... 261 00:12:07,153 --> 00:12:09,053 I ga-ron-tee it! 262 00:12:13,426 --> 00:12:14,892 So, Tuesday is the treehouse warming. 263 00:12:14,927 --> 00:12:16,861 Nelson's gonna show us his mom's bra. 264 00:12:18,164 --> 00:12:20,197 That's the thing that boobs touch. 265 00:12:20,233 --> 00:12:23,634 Whoa, automatic blinds. 266 00:12:23,669 --> 00:12:25,069 Yeah, I think my mom put those in. 267 00:12:25,104 --> 00:12:26,070 No need to thank her. 268 00:12:26,105 --> 00:12:27,271 She's just doing her job. 269 00:12:33,746 --> 00:12:35,980 The Keebler Elves are real! 270 00:12:36,682 --> 00:12:38,482 Pass the gravy, Bart. 271 00:12:38,518 --> 00:12:39,717 Yo. 272 00:12:39,752 --> 00:12:40,985 Thank you. 273 00:12:41,020 --> 00:12:42,720 Geez, who ordered the crab? 274 00:12:42,755 --> 00:12:43,988 There's crab? 275 00:12:44,023 --> 00:12:45,322 There's no crab. 276 00:12:45,358 --> 00:12:47,892 There's no "thank you's", no appreciation. 277 00:12:47,927 --> 00:12:49,193 Nothing. 278 00:12:51,364 --> 00:12:53,597 Uh, who was that directed at? 279 00:12:53,633 --> 00:12:54,698 Bart! 280 00:12:54,734 --> 00:12:56,734 Whew! Pass the gravy, please. 281 00:12:59,238 --> 00:13:01,839 Dad! Dad! 282 00:13:01,874 --> 00:13:05,276 The Springfield Fringe Festival just invited us to perform. 283 00:13:05,311 --> 00:13:07,411 Huh? What's a "Fringe Festival"? 284 00:13:07,446 --> 00:13:10,014 My guess would be it's a three-day series of performances 285 00:13:10,049 --> 00:13:11,916 by alternative comedy and music acts, 286 00:13:11,951 --> 00:13:13,517 including, but not limited to, 287 00:13:13,553 --> 00:13:16,220 improv, stand-up, light circus work and ironic burlesque. 288 00:13:16,255 --> 00:13:19,456 We're gonna be on the main stage on closing night! 289 00:13:19,492 --> 00:13:20,858 This is going in my log. 290 00:13:20,893 --> 00:13:21,859 Yay! 291 00:13:21,894 --> 00:13:24,195 More crab for me. 292 00:13:24,230 --> 00:13:25,930 There's no crab! 293 00:13:25,965 --> 00:13:27,097 Mm! 294 00:13:29,735 --> 00:13:31,702 Mmm! 295 00:13:35,541 --> 00:13:37,408 Aw, Marge, don't take it to heart. 296 00:13:37,443 --> 00:13:39,643 Kids are ungrateful, that's their job. 297 00:13:39,679 --> 00:13:42,479 You can cheer up watching me at the Fringe Festival. 298 00:13:42,515 --> 00:13:43,948 Good for you. 299 00:13:43,983 --> 00:13:46,951 The main stage, closing night, all eyes on you. 300 00:13:46,986 --> 00:13:48,552 Wh-Wh-Wh-What... what are you saying? 301 00:13:48,588 --> 00:13:51,455 Oh, she's making me nervous again. 302 00:13:51,490 --> 00:13:53,090 But now I'm a trained comedy amateur. 303 00:13:53,125 --> 00:13:54,658 No one can get in my head. 304 00:13:54,694 --> 00:13:56,560 Marge Simpson, 305 00:13:56,596 --> 00:13:59,997 you don't want to accidentally undermine him like last time. 306 00:14:00,032 --> 00:14:02,633 Oh, thank God he doesn't know what I'm thinking. 307 00:14:02,668 --> 00:14:04,635 I know exactly what she's thinking. 308 00:14:04,670 --> 00:14:07,471 That if I mess this up, I'll be worse off than ever. 309 00:14:07,506 --> 00:14:08,472 He does know. 310 00:14:08,507 --> 00:14:09,673 She knows I know! 311 00:14:12,260 --> 00:14:14,585 - Homer? - Aw, what? 312 00:14:14,685 --> 00:14:16,518 I slept on it, and I'm madder than ever. 313 00:14:16,554 --> 00:14:17,786 Go get Bart. 314 00:14:17,822 --> 00:14:19,021 Oh my God, Marge, 315 00:14:19,056 --> 00:14:20,956 you woke up with morning-would-be-mad. 316 00:14:20,991 --> 00:14:23,392 Okay, I'll put this in your new language. 317 00:14:23,427 --> 00:14:25,361 Location: Bart's room. 318 00:14:25,396 --> 00:14:27,496 Action: bring him here. 319 00:14:27,531 --> 00:14:28,831 Can I get a character, please? 320 00:14:28,866 --> 00:14:30,132 Fine. Um... 321 00:14:30,167 --> 00:14:32,568 A near-sighted Frankenstein. 322 00:14:32,603 --> 00:14:33,836 Okay. 323 00:14:37,408 --> 00:14:40,142 Bride! Bride! 324 00:14:40,177 --> 00:14:42,745 I do not look like the Bride of Frankenstein. 325 00:14:42,780 --> 00:14:44,546 Don't deny premise. 326 00:14:50,354 --> 00:14:52,988 Mom, can I come in? 327 00:14:53,023 --> 00:14:54,812 You like your eggs a little runny don't you? 328 00:14:54,836 --> 00:14:55,592 What? 329 00:14:55,593 --> 00:14:57,993 And your toast set at four, with a little bit of butter? 330 00:14:58,028 --> 00:14:59,228 Yeah! 331 00:14:59,263 --> 00:15:01,830 Hash browns might be a little burnt. 332 00:15:01,866 --> 00:15:04,833 I like 'em however you make 'em, sweetie. 333 00:15:04,869 --> 00:15:06,335 I just wanted to say 334 00:15:06,370 --> 00:15:07,903 I'm sorry. 335 00:15:07,938 --> 00:15:10,305 We all forget just how many wonderful things you do. 336 00:15:10,341 --> 00:15:11,273 Oh... 337 00:15:12,710 --> 00:15:15,444 Y-You're making me cry. 338 00:15:15,479 --> 00:15:16,745 And best of all, 339 00:15:16,781 --> 00:15:19,448 you're as hot as the day I met you. 340 00:15:20,484 --> 00:15:22,251 Thank you! 341 00:15:22,286 --> 00:15:26,088 That apology speech you wrote worked like a charm, Pop. 342 00:15:26,123 --> 00:15:28,090 Your mother can't resist an apology 343 00:15:28,125 --> 00:15:30,125 that comes straight from the heart... 344 00:15:30,161 --> 00:15:31,360 of this box. 345 00:15:34,465 --> 00:15:36,098 Oh, dear God, 346 00:15:36,133 --> 00:15:39,067 this is not a Renaissance Faire, is it? 347 00:15:39,103 --> 00:15:40,302 Uh, that's in two weeks, 348 00:15:40,337 --> 00:15:42,638 Henry the Weight Problem. Ha! 349 00:15:42,673 --> 00:15:46,208 Gee, I don't know if I belong here with all this talent. 350 00:15:46,243 --> 00:15:47,643 Hey, Reverend. 351 00:15:47,678 --> 00:15:49,545 Why didn't the dinosaurs make it on Noah's Ark? 352 00:15:49,580 --> 00:15:51,113 Ooh, I give up. 353 00:15:51,148 --> 00:15:53,048 Because they didn't exist. 354 00:16:00,124 --> 00:16:03,325 Dad, this festival encourages experimentation. 355 00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:04,593 Even failure. 356 00:16:04,628 --> 00:16:06,562 Oh, what if I don't fail? 357 00:16:06,597 --> 00:16:08,397 Desperate times call for desperate measures. 358 00:16:08,432 --> 00:16:10,132 I am getting a helium balloon. 359 00:16:10,167 --> 00:16:11,600 That makes anyone funny. 360 00:16:11,635 --> 00:16:13,635 Be right back! 361 00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:18,340 Homer, are you okay? 362 00:16:18,375 --> 00:16:21,777 You look exactly like Barbara Streisand did in 1967. 363 00:16:21,812 --> 00:16:23,946 I can't think of anything funny. 364 00:16:23,981 --> 00:16:26,014 Homer, Homer, relax, you're a riot. 365 00:16:26,050 --> 00:16:29,518 Remember how funny you was when you was the confident Cajun? 366 00:16:29,553 --> 00:16:31,787 Look, just let me feed you the prompt. 367 00:16:31,822 --> 00:16:34,156 Wait, you mean cheat at improv? 368 00:16:34,191 --> 00:16:35,791 What would Del Close say? 369 00:16:35,826 --> 00:16:38,827 He would say, "Do like Moe says, and shut the hell up." 370 00:16:38,863 --> 00:16:40,529 Who's Del Close? 371 00:16:40,564 --> 00:16:44,099 Only the author of the best book I intend to read someday. 372 00:16:44,134 --> 00:16:46,535 Homer, the cemeteries are filled with people 373 00:16:46,570 --> 00:16:48,370 who didn't cheat at improv. 374 00:16:48,405 --> 00:16:50,205 Hmm... 375 00:16:56,413 --> 00:16:59,047 Okay, let's go over what you're gonna call out one more time. 376 00:16:59,083 --> 00:17:00,949 Uh, ethnicity: Cajun. 377 00:17:00,985 --> 00:17:02,684 Location: back alley. 378 00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:03,952 Good, good. 379 00:17:03,988 --> 00:17:05,320 The back alley Cajun bit. 380 00:17:05,356 --> 00:17:06,788 Dad! 381 00:17:06,824 --> 00:17:09,791 Are you cheating by planting suggestions? 382 00:17:09,827 --> 00:17:10,526 Maybe. 383 00:17:12,196 --> 00:17:14,630 Have you learned nothing from owning an unread copy 384 00:17:14,665 --> 00:17:16,064 of Truth in Comedy? 385 00:17:16,100 --> 00:17:18,000 It's either that or quit the show. 386 00:17:18,035 --> 00:17:19,968 You can't let your troupe down. 387 00:17:20,004 --> 00:17:22,804 They need your space work, your strong choices, 388 00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:24,673 and scene-building skills. 389 00:17:24,708 --> 00:17:26,341 Hey, lay off your dad, huh? 390 00:17:26,377 --> 00:17:28,577 Everything that's supposedly spontaneous 391 00:17:28,612 --> 00:17:30,078 has already been planned, okay? 392 00:17:30,114 --> 00:17:33,181 Reality shows, uh, lip-sync singing, even... 393 00:17:33,217 --> 00:17:34,516 awards shows. 394 00:17:34,552 --> 00:17:35,918 No! 395 00:17:35,953 --> 00:17:38,387 Yes, that's why the losers don't show up. 396 00:17:38,422 --> 00:17:40,389 B-b-b-but they have scheduling conflicts. 397 00:17:40,424 --> 00:17:41,690 Yeah, right. 398 00:17:41,725 --> 00:17:44,593 Dave Franco has a scheduling conflict. 399 00:17:44,628 --> 00:17:46,061 No, no, I've heard enough. 400 00:17:46,096 --> 00:17:49,464 I refuse to use performance enhancing "sugs." 401 00:17:51,435 --> 00:17:52,701 It's Homer Simpson. 402 00:17:52,736 --> 00:17:54,169 Homer Simpson's here. 403 00:17:56,073 --> 00:17:58,240 Okay, everyone, I'm Homer Simpson 404 00:17:58,275 --> 00:18:00,108 and I need an occupation. 405 00:18:00,144 --> 00:18:01,577 Cadaver salesman? 406 00:18:01,612 --> 00:18:03,378 Drive-thru cashier. 407 00:18:03,414 --> 00:18:05,180 Uh, frog gigger. 408 00:18:05,215 --> 00:18:06,415 Finger kisser! Mwah! 409 00:18:06,450 --> 00:18:07,616 Nurse. 410 00:18:07,651 --> 00:18:09,284 You'll have to be more specific. 411 00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:11,286 I need a nurse! 412 00:18:11,322 --> 00:18:12,854 Back alley Cajun! 413 00:18:12,890 --> 00:18:13,855 Mm-hmm! 414 00:18:13,891 --> 00:18:15,190 Ah... 415 00:18:15,225 --> 00:18:17,593 A father I can look up to. 416 00:18:17,628 --> 00:18:20,629 Oh. Um, uh... 417 00:18:20,664 --> 00:18:23,365 I hear... drive-thru cashier! 418 00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:25,200 You wha... ? 419 00:18:25,235 --> 00:18:27,502 Hello, welcome to "Down and Out Burger" 420 00:18:27,538 --> 00:18:28,670 Would you like fries with that? 421 00:18:28,706 --> 00:18:30,038 A thousand? 422 00:18:30,074 --> 00:18:32,374 Sure thing, Mr. Brando. 423 00:18:32,409 --> 00:18:34,810 By the way, this is 1992. 424 00:18:38,147 --> 00:18:41,816 >>> AND NOW WE'RE GOING TO DO SOMETHING A LITTLE SPECIAL. 425 00:18:41,950 --> 00:18:45,153 >> OUR FATHER IS GOING TO IMPROV LIVE ANSWERS TO QUESTIONS FROM 426 00:18:45,287 --> 00:18:49,891 THE TV AUDIENCE. IT ONLY TOOK US 27 YEARS TO DO 427 00:18:50,025 --> 00:18:53,961 WHAT THEY COULD DO IN 1954. >> HOMER, TIME TO BOMB. 428 00:18:54,096 --> 00:18:57,732 >> HELLO! I'VE GATHERED YOU HERE BECAUSE I 429 00:18:57,866 --> 00:19:04,672 HAVE AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT. THIS IS THE LAST EPISODE OF "THE 430 00:19:04,806 --> 00:19:07,508 SIMPSONS." IT'S BEEN A GREAT RUN. 431 00:19:07,643 --> 00:19:12,313 JUST KIDDING. "THE SIMPSONS" WILL NEVER END. 432 00:19:12,447 --> 00:19:15,816 ON SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE LAST NIGHT, DRAKE WAS TERRIBLE. 433 00:19:15,951 --> 00:19:19,987 NOW TO TAKE YOUR CALLS. LET'S GO TO HANNAH. 434 00:19:20,122 --> 00:19:25,326 HANNAH, YOU'RE TALKING TO HOMER. >> HI THERE, HOMER. 435 00:19:25,460 --> 00:19:30,164 MY QUESTION FOR YOU IS WHO DO YOU LIKE MORE -- LENNY OR 436 00:19:30,299 --> 00:19:33,467 CARL -- AND WHY? >> LET'S SEE. 437 00:19:33,602 --> 00:19:38,372 I LIKE LENNY BECAUSE HE'S THE BLACK GUY AND -- WAIT A MINUTE, 438 00:19:38,507 --> 00:19:39,941 NO. CARL'S THE -- WAIT. 439 00:19:40,075 --> 00:19:43,144 LET ME GET BACK TO YOU WHEN I FIGURE OUT WHO'S WHO. 440 00:19:43,278 --> 00:19:47,915 LET'S GO TO THE NEXT QUESTION. AMANDA? 441 00:19:48,050 --> 00:19:51,319 >> I WAS WONDERING IF YOU COULD GIVE ME ANY TIPS OR TRIPS FOR 442 00:19:51,453 --> 00:19:55,623 MAKING IT LOOK LIKE I'M HARD AT WORK BUT I'M RELAXING OR TAKING 443 00:19:55,757 --> 00:19:58,559 A NAP? >> ALWAYS WEAR GLASSES WITH EYES 444 00:19:58,694 --> 00:20:01,896 GLUED ONTO THEM. NEXT QUESTION. 445 00:20:02,030 --> 00:20:04,865 GEORGE, I THINK. HELLO, GEORGE. 446 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:08,002 >> HELLO, HOMER. >> WHAT'S YOUR QUESTION? 447 00:20:08,136 --> 00:20:12,106 >> SO MY QUESTION IS PIZZA-RELATED. 448 00:20:12,241 --> 00:20:14,508 >> PIZZA? >> DO YOU PREFER CHICAGO DEEP 449 00:20:14,643 --> 00:20:16,978 DISH OR NEW YORK-STYLE? >> LET'S SEE. 450 00:20:17,112 --> 00:20:22,883 I PREFER CHICAGO DEEP DISH BECAUSE I LIKE ITALIAN BETTER 451 00:20:23,018 --> 00:20:27,021 THAN CHINESE. AND NOW LET'S GO TO A PLANTED 452 00:20:27,155 --> 00:20:32,660 CALL WITH A PLANTED QUESTION. LET'S GO TO -- HELLO? 453 00:20:32,794 --> 00:20:36,030 >> HOMER, HOW ARE YOU DOING? >> I'M DOING ALL RIGHT. 454 00:20:36,164 --> 00:20:39,133 IS THAT YOUR QUESTION? >> I WAS WONDERING WHAT KIND OF 455 00:20:39,268 --> 00:20:42,637 CAR DO YOU DRIVE? >> OH, I DRIVE A HYBRID WHICH IS 456 00:20:42,771 --> 00:20:45,206 A COMBINATION OF OLD AND TERRIBLE. 457 00:20:45,340 --> 00:20:48,142 NEXT CALLER. CHRIS. 458 00:20:48,277 --> 00:20:51,112 YES, CHRIS. WHAT'S YOUR QUESTION? 459 00:20:51,246 --> 00:20:55,683 OR COMMENT. >> MY QUESTION IS WHAT'S YOUR 460 00:20:55,817 --> 00:20:58,986 FAVORITE JOB? WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE JOB? 461 00:20:59,121 --> 00:21:02,590 >> MY FAVORITE JOB WOULD HAVE BEEN BEING AN ASTRONAUT BECAUSE 462 00:21:02,724 --> 00:21:05,793 EVERYTHING WAS DONE FOR ME. AND ALSO I COULD GET AWAY FROM 463 00:21:05,927 --> 00:21:08,260 THE BOY. WELL, THAT'S IT. 464 00:21:08,261 --> 00:21:10,255 THAT'S IT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. 465 00:21:10,256 --> 00:21:12,164 WE HAVE COME TO MY CLOSING REMARKS. 466 00:21:12,165 --> 00:21:14,063 IT ONLY LASTED THREE MINUTES, 467 00:21:14,064 --> 00:21:16,449 LIKE EATING CHEESEBURGERS AND MAKING LOVE. 468 00:21:16,848 --> 00:21:18,319 IF YOUR CALL HASN'T BEEN TAKEN 469 00:21:18,419 --> 00:21:20,482 YET, PLEASE CONTINUE TO HOLD. 470 00:21:20,729 --> 00:21:22,028 THE CAST OF EMPIRE WILL BE 471 00:21:22,097 --> 00:21:24,346 ANSWERING QUESTIONS WEDNESDAY NIGHT. 472 00:21:24,601 --> 00:21:26,067 SOMEONE WILL LET THEM KNOW. 473 00:21:27,255 --> 00:21:29,072 FLASHING BY ARE THE CREDITS OF THE 474 00:21:29,073 --> 00:21:31,522 PEOPLE WHO WORKED LONG AND HARD ON THIS. 475 00:21:31,830 --> 00:21:33,701 I HAVE NO IDEA WHO THEY ARE. 476 00:21:33,893 --> 00:21:35,585 NOW THE SHOW IS OVER. 477 00:21:35,685 --> 00:21:38,091 THE SPOTLIGHT DIMS, THE LAUGHTER FADES. 478 00:21:38,142 --> 00:21:39,608 SOMEONE CALL UBER. 479 00:21:39,816 --> 00:21:41,182 IF BART WOULD JUST RETURN MY 480 00:21:41,250 --> 00:21:43,665 PANTS SO I CAN MOVE FROM BEHIND THIS DESK. 481 00:21:45,221 --> 00:21:46,554 DOO, DOO, DOO. 482 00:21:46,622 --> 00:21:48,289 WAITING ON THE PANTS. 483 00:21:48,357 --> 00:21:49,990 OH, BART, NOT CULOTTES. 484 00:21:50,715 --> 00:21:52,026 NO.