1 00:00:02,920 --> 00:00:04,963 The Simpsons. 2 00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:08,613 Dude, Where's My Ranch? 3 00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:31,000 Silver bells, silver bells. 4 00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:37,173 It's Christmas time in the city. 5 00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:40,645 Oh, that is like so moving. 6 00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:43,585 Yo, family, isn't that beautiful? 7 00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:49,654 Walking in a winter wonderland. 8 00:00:50,342 --> 00:00:52,386 Exquisite. Just exquisite. 9 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:54,566 Makes me wish I hadn't released the hounds. 10 00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:02,104 - Should I call them off, sir? - No, no. It's their Christmas too. 11 00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:06,202 Have a nice Christmas Have a nice Christmas. 12 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,652 Have a nice Christmas. 13 00:01:09,111 --> 00:01:10,612 Non-Christian friend. 14 00:01:11,029 --> 00:01:13,813 That's even worse than "I'm Dreaming of a Whitefish Christmas." 15 00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:15,941 For this, I tied my bathrobe? 16 00:01:16,368 --> 00:01:18,161 Just hear those sleigh bells jingling... 17 00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:21,728 Cease and desist. You are forbidden to perform that song without paying... 18 00:01:22,374 --> 00:01:25,481 - ...royalties to the owner. - Nobody owns Christmas carols. 19 00:01:26,128 --> 00:01:28,985 They belong to everyone, like grapes at the grocery store. 20 00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:32,666 Not true. But you are welcome to sing the many public domain carols... 21 00:01:33,302 --> 00:01:35,460 ...such as "O Tannenbaum," "Good King Wenceslas"... 22 00:01:35,971 --> 00:01:37,358 ..."Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring." 23 00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:39,777 Those suck. They're worse than nothing. 24 00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:41,768 I could write way better songs. 25 00:01:42,186 --> 00:01:45,116 Go. But don't use A-flat or G-natural. Those are owned by Disney. 26 00:01:45,731 --> 00:01:47,118 That's A-flat. 27 00:01:47,524 --> 00:01:49,756 That's better. 28 00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:52,143 That's it. I'm writing a Christmas carol. 29 00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:54,844 If I can make my own clothes, I can do anything. 30 00:01:58,493 --> 00:02:01,715 Christmas in December Whoa, whoa, whoa. 31 00:02:02,372 --> 00:02:05,334 Give me tons of presents Now, now, now. 32 00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:08,378 - Homer. Writing a new Christmas carol? - Maybe. 33 00:02:08,921 --> 00:02:11,152 Well, the Bible says it's fun to do stuff together. 34 00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:14,270 There's a stranger In the manger and his name is love. 35 00:02:14,843 --> 00:02:16,157 Take it, Homer. 36 00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:20,203 Oh, I got it. You want me to stay out here and work on the chorus. 37 00:02:20,849 --> 00:02:23,446 Flanders, I am a patient, reasonable, handsome man. 38 00:02:24,019 --> 00:02:26,542 But even I have my limits. Now, beat it. 39 00:02:28,106 --> 00:02:29,233 Why, thank you, Homer. 40 00:02:29,608 --> 00:02:33,529 It's a popsicle in my favorite flavor, plain. 41 00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:42,027 Lousy, no good... How am I supposed to write a song... 42 00:02:42,704 --> 00:02:45,593 ...with that stupid jerk bothering me all the time and...? 43 00:02:46,208 --> 00:02:47,709 Wait a minute. 44 00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:56,322 Everybody in the U.S.A. Hates their stupid neighbor. 45 00:02:57,177 --> 00:03:00,879 He's Flanders And he's really, really lame. 46 00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:05,300 Flanders tried to wreck my song His views on birth control are wrong. 47 00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:09,721 I hate his guts And Flanders is his name. 48 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,119 F-L-A-N-R-D-S 49 00:03:12,568 --> 00:03:14,361 He's the man thatl hate best. 50 00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:18,292 I'd like to see his house go up in flame. 51 00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:24,215 Excuse me. I've been researching indigenous folk music of Springfield. 52 00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:27,510 I couldn't help overhearing your delightfully cruel hate song. 53 00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:29,083 David Byrne? 54 00:03:29,293 --> 00:03:30,728 Singer, artist, composer, director, Talking Head? 55 00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:32,672 Singer, artist, composer, director, Talking Head? 56 00:03:33,088 --> 00:03:35,580 And I used to wrestle under the name El Diablo. 57 00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:38,917 - I thought that was Philip Glass. - Yeah, he wishes. 58 00:03:39,511 --> 00:03:42,587 Hey, mister, if you like my song so much, would you like to buy a tape? 59 00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:44,725 - It's already rewound. - No, thanks. 60 00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:47,300 But I would like to sing it with you and produce it. 61 00:03:47,811 --> 00:03:48,864 Ugh, fine. 62 00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:54,516 - F-L-A. - His name is Ned. 63 00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:56,737 - E-R-S. - That's a stupid name. 64 00:03:57,196 --> 00:04:01,262 He's worse than Frankenstein Or Dr. No. 65 00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:06,132 You can't upset him even slightly He just smiles and nods politely. 66 00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:08,738 Then goes home and worships nightly. 67 00:04:09,208 --> 00:04:12,388 His Leftorium is an emporium of woe. 68 00:04:13,045 --> 00:04:14,796 F-L-A Don't yell at Ned. 69 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:16,903 D-E-R His wife is dead. 70 00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:20,156 Everybody hates that stupid jerk. 71 00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:25,703 Springfield rocks With Homer's joyous loathing. 72 00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:30,573 Filling clubs with angry Valentinos. 73 00:04:31,355 --> 00:04:32,856 You don't have to move your feet. 74 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:34,994 Just hate Flanders to the disco beat. 75 00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:38,549 He's your perky, peppy Nightmare neighborino. 76 00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:43,367 If you despise polite left-handers Then I doubt you'll like Ned Flanders. 77 00:04:44,159 --> 00:04:46,724 Or his creepy little offspring Rod and Todd. 78 00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:48,643 - That's us. - Hurray! 79 00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:50,760 F-L-A His name is Ned. 80 00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:52,928 - E-R-S. - He's so white bread. 81 00:04:53,377 --> 00:04:57,589 The smiling, mustached geek Who walks with God. 82 00:04:58,382 --> 00:05:00,102 Mass dismissed. 83 00:05:03,387 --> 00:05:04,961 Hey, what are we gonna wear tomorrow? 84 00:05:05,556 --> 00:05:08,121 We're halfway through our same song six-pack. 85 00:05:08,684 --> 00:05:10,727 Now let's hear William Shatner's version... 86 00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:12,834 ...of "Everybody Hates Ned Flanders." 87 00:05:13,272 --> 00:05:17,223 Another cover? My God, let it die. 88 00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:21,572 Everybody in the U.S.A. 89 00:05:22,281 --> 00:05:25,315 Hates their stupid neighbor. 90 00:05:25,951 --> 00:05:31,665 He's the Flanders man, the Flanders man Flanders... 91 00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:35,669 - I am so sick of that song. - Ugh, me too. 92 00:05:36,295 --> 00:05:37,827 I've come to hate my own creation. 93 00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:40,153 Now I know how God feels. 94 00:05:40,632 --> 00:05:42,485 Why don't we take a vacation and get away from that song for a while? 95 00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:44,571 Why don't we take a vacation and get away from that song for a while? 96 00:05:44,595 --> 00:05:47,118 Well, I guess we could afford one nice trip. 97 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:50,423 I still think you should've left that at the motel. 98 00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:52,769 What? It said "take one." 99 00:05:53,228 --> 00:05:57,076 "Balloon Ride," "Wax Museum," "The Denzel Washington Monument"... 100 00:05:57,816 --> 00:06:00,892 ..."Colonial Phoenix." Hey, dude ranch. 101 00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:04,708 And there's no radio or TV so we won't have to hear your song. 102 00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:06,365 Sweet. 103 00:06:06,742 --> 00:06:09,891 Or we could go to Walter Gropius' Bauhaus Village. 104 00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:12,216 And fight the crowds? Forget it. 105 00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:15,521 The Simpsons are going to Bart's idea. 106 00:06:16,919 --> 00:06:18,524 This dude ranch is gonna be great. 107 00:06:18,962 --> 00:06:21,527 A whole week without hearing that stupid song. 108 00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:25,052 You won't think it's stupid when you hear the extended salsa mix. 109 00:06:33,936 --> 00:06:36,282 Watch it, Mr. Byrne. You'll slip on the simonize. 110 00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:37,867 Simonize? 111 00:06:41,652 --> 00:06:42,705 Whoa, whoa! 112 00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:45,708 - Can you take me to the hospital? - Yeah, no problem. 113 00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:49,576 Wasn't that the hospital? 114 00:06:49,993 --> 00:06:52,996 - Uh, you ever see the movie Misery? - Actually, no. 115 00:06:53,622 --> 00:06:56,145 Then this'll all be new to you. 116 00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:08,084 Welcome to the Lazy I Ranch... 117 00:07:08,554 --> 00:07:11,369 ...where we give you a week of rustic ranch living. 118 00:07:11,974 --> 00:07:13,944 - Do you have an Internet connection? - Internet? 119 00:07:16,645 --> 00:07:19,241 Son, the only Internet connection we got... 120 00:07:19,815 --> 00:07:22,526 ...is a dedicated DSL port in the business center. 121 00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:25,821 Or you could patch in through the smart fridge in your cabin. 122 00:07:26,405 --> 00:07:29,919 Hmm, if said fridge is smart, it will be filled with Hot Pockets and bologna... 123 00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:33,214 ...by the time I get there. Goodbye. 124 00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:37,739 "On this battleground in 1881, 56 Indians lost their lives... 125 00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:40,919 ...and four brave Americans lost their hats." 126 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:44,245 Those poor hats. 127 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:48,312 This whole ranch is appalling. It's built on a legacy of cruelty to animals... 128 00:07:49,011 --> 00:07:50,981 ...and oppression of indigenous people. 129 00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,661 Just our way of making y'all feel welcome. 130 00:07:54,183 --> 00:07:55,861 - You're not listening. - I never do. 131 00:07:56,310 --> 00:07:58,426 Yee-haw! 132 00:08:06,195 --> 00:08:08,718 I'll show you how they get on a horse where I come from. 133 00:08:09,281 --> 00:08:11,585 - Daddy, I need upsies. - Coming, sweetie. 134 00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:19,635 - Huh. Well, he sure shut us up. - Mm-hm. 135 00:08:20,209 --> 00:08:21,376 Yee-haw! 136 00:08:23,962 --> 00:08:26,705 I really don't wanna do a lot of flip-de-loops. 137 00:08:27,299 --> 00:08:31,105 No problem. You can hop on the chuck wagon with Cookie here. 138 00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:34,191 Pleased to meet you. Have a tooth. 139 00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:40,656 Hey, Crabby Hayes, get with the program. 140 00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:43,638 I'm sick of this horse slapping and cow taunting. 141 00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:46,130 I'm going to my room. 142 00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:48,789 Hold it right there. 143 00:08:50,072 --> 00:08:53,513 Mama rattlesnake would be mighty sore if you scrambled her young'un. 144 00:08:57,454 --> 00:09:00,634 - Luke Stetson, junior wrangler. - I'm Lisa Simpson. 145 00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:04,472 And you're the first person I've met here who cares about our animal equals. 146 00:09:05,128 --> 00:09:08,277 Well, if you like animals, you won't wanna disappoint that pony over there. 147 00:09:08,924 --> 00:09:10,644 She's just aching to show you around. 148 00:09:14,346 --> 00:09:17,422 I'm sure she'd be happier without someone sitting on her back all day. 149 00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:20,362 Sorry you're not interested because I need somebody... 150 00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:23,751 ...to help me hang these "No Hunting" and "Free Tibet" signs. 151 00:09:26,316 --> 00:09:28,475 That was a delicious meal, Cookie. 152 00:09:28,986 --> 00:09:31,363 - What do we do with our garbage? - Leave it for Cleanie. 153 00:09:34,992 --> 00:09:37,849 My precious. 154 00:09:41,498 --> 00:09:44,386 Would you like to be photographed in my great-grandfather's headdress? 155 00:09:45,002 --> 00:09:47,045 He unified the nations of the western plains. 156 00:09:47,546 --> 00:09:48,901 Five dollars or three for 12. 157 00:09:49,298 --> 00:09:51,967 Can you shoot one where I'm Rambo and my wife is Betty Boop? 158 00:09:52,551 --> 00:09:53,551 You mean package B. 159 00:09:53,844 --> 00:09:57,139 And this is supposed to save our marriage? 160 00:09:58,473 --> 00:10:00,048 I thought you guys lived off the land. 161 00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:02,342 How come you're selling junk to jerks like us? 162 00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:05,001 Used to live and farm in a bountiful valley. 163 00:10:05,522 --> 00:10:07,941 Then the river was dammed to make that lake... 164 00:10:08,483 --> 00:10:10,527 ...by our ancient enemy, the beaver. 165 00:10:12,863 --> 00:10:15,094 Why don't you just chase the beavers away? 166 00:10:15,616 --> 00:10:18,108 Unfortunately, the beaver is also our god. 167 00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:20,777 In retrospect, it was a poor choice. 168 00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:23,154 You people are guests in our country. 169 00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:26,074 And the beaver have no right to treat you that way. 170 00:10:26,627 --> 00:10:29,442 If I get back your land, will you promise to build a casino on it? 171 00:10:30,047 --> 00:10:33,227 Sure. And when we do, your breakfast will be comped. 172 00:10:33,884 --> 00:10:35,724 How many decks will your blackjack dealers use? 173 00:10:36,178 --> 00:10:37,178 - Eight. - Three. 174 00:10:37,387 --> 00:10:39,212 - Four. - Deal. My brother. 175 00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:43,602 Wow! 176 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:46,532 Oh, Luke. 177 00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:51,787 I didn't gasp like that until I was 18. 178 00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:56,271 All right, son, we just knock over this dam... 179 00:10:56,782 --> 00:11:00,004 ...and the noble Native Americans can reclaim the land that is theirs. 180 00:11:13,465 --> 00:11:17,021 No! I wanted to die choking on food. 181 00:11:17,719 --> 00:11:19,002 I'll save you. 182 00:11:23,892 --> 00:11:26,124 So long, suckers! Ha, ha. 183 00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:33,642 Stop shoving. The little one isn't getting any. Aah! 184 00:11:36,989 --> 00:11:39,366 Thanks for making me feel better about this place, Luke. 185 00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:41,587 Lisa, this here's the New West... 186 00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:45,038 ...where we respect our equine and bovine Americans. 187 00:11:47,958 --> 00:11:51,180 Uh, well, maybe we should just mosey on over this way. Ah! 188 00:11:51,837 --> 00:11:53,484 Free range my ass. 189 00:11:53,922 --> 00:11:56,487 Tonight you're gonna be swimming next to a matzo ball. 190 00:11:57,634 --> 00:11:59,751 I think maybe we should just look at the clouds. 191 00:12:00,262 --> 00:12:03,849 - Well, ain't that pretty. - Oh, it looks like a happy sheep. 192 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:12,013 Oh, damn it. 193 00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:19,677 Shucks, Lisa. You sure have taken a shine to that cowpoke. 194 00:12:20,449 --> 00:12:23,118 - Mom, why are you talking like that? - Don't rightly know. 195 00:12:23,702 --> 00:12:27,101 I just soaked up the lingo like a biscuit in a bucket full of gopher gravy. 196 00:12:27,789 --> 00:12:28,811 I'll stop now. 197 00:12:29,166 --> 00:12:30,292 Well, I like it here too. 198 00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:33,045 Luke has shown me the gentle side of the Old West. 199 00:12:33,587 --> 00:12:35,850 He's really sophisticated for a 13-year-old. 200 00:12:36,381 --> 00:12:37,768 Thir-what-year-old? 201 00:12:38,175 --> 00:12:39,854 Lisa, you're only 8. 202 00:12:40,302 --> 00:12:42,940 But when he's 23, I'll be 18. 203 00:12:43,514 --> 00:12:45,933 Lisa, you don't know what you'll want in the future. 204 00:12:46,475 --> 00:12:48,154 I didn't marry the first boy I... 205 00:12:48,602 --> 00:12:50,103 Well, I did, but you shouldn't. 206 00:12:53,941 --> 00:12:55,807 Ha, ha. Wanna play a little longer? 207 00:12:56,276 --> 00:13:00,301 It's only 10 and the moon is awful big. 208 00:13:01,949 --> 00:13:04,618 Well, heck, you should see it when it's full. 209 00:13:10,666 --> 00:13:13,700 Oh, no. They're making beautiful music together. 210 00:13:14,336 --> 00:13:17,662 Let's see. Move that there. Do a flanking maneuver there. 211 00:13:18,340 --> 00:13:20,352 Wind should be coming in from the south. 212 00:13:20,843 --> 00:13:23,408 Time it to coincide with beaver holiday. 213 00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:27,391 This map is useless. Useless. 214 00:13:27,891 --> 00:13:31,040 Homie, I'm worried about how fast our kids are growing up. 215 00:13:31,687 --> 00:13:33,584 It's beef hormones and the fluorescent lights. 216 00:13:34,064 --> 00:13:37,025 - What are you gonna do? - They're already acting like teenagers. 217 00:13:37,651 --> 00:13:39,955 Lisa's with that boy, and look at Maggie. 218 00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:46,159 Oops! I did it again I played with your heart. 219 00:13:46,785 --> 00:13:50,445 Got lost in the game Oh baby, baby. 220 00:13:57,212 --> 00:13:59,736 Look, Cookie. There's a dance tonight. 221 00:14:00,299 --> 00:14:01,977 A dance? A dance? 222 00:14:06,805 --> 00:14:10,131 Whew. I'm pooped. I'm going to bed. Bed? 223 00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:16,690 Alrighty, I'll see you tonight. And I'll save you the first dance. 224 00:14:17,399 --> 00:14:18,974 Love you too, Clara. 225 00:14:19,401 --> 00:14:21,559 Clara? He's got a girlfriend. 226 00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:24,010 I feel like such an idiot. 227 00:14:30,162 --> 00:14:32,352 Hey, bottom bunk's mine. 228 00:14:35,959 --> 00:14:37,638 Keep going. 229 00:14:45,511 --> 00:14:47,481 I can't believe Luke has another gal. 230 00:14:47,971 --> 00:14:49,212 "My name is Clara. 231 00:14:49,598 --> 00:14:51,829 I've known Luke for more than five days." 232 00:14:52,518 --> 00:14:55,448 Excuse me. Is this the way to the Lazy I Ranch? 233 00:14:56,063 --> 00:14:57,063 Yeah, it sure is. 234 00:15:00,817 --> 00:15:02,976 But a quicker way to the ranch is that shortcut. 235 00:15:03,487 --> 00:15:06,271 Thanks, darling. See you at the dance. 236 00:15:09,284 --> 00:15:10,284 I look forward to it. 237 00:15:11,828 --> 00:15:13,257 I hate you. 238 00:15:19,711 --> 00:15:20,765 Oh, boy. 239 00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:22,370 Check it out, beavers. 240 00:15:22,756 --> 00:15:25,175 Delicious motel furniture. 241 00:15:27,052 --> 00:15:29,023 They took the bait. Let's go. 242 00:15:30,222 --> 00:15:32,933 We forgot to empty the minibar. 243 00:15:38,897 --> 00:15:41,316 Ah! That's a $17 deck of cards. 244 00:15:41,859 --> 00:15:43,506 Let it go, Dad. 245 00:15:49,908 --> 00:15:52,213 Quick. Find the master log. There's always a master log. 246 00:15:53,996 --> 00:15:55,643 Whoa. 247 00:16:03,505 --> 00:16:07,968 We did it. Finally, man has triumphed over a small furry animal. 248 00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:21,721 Treaty, treaty, treaty, bill, treaty... 249 00:16:22,357 --> 00:16:24,703 Peace Pipe Aficionado magazine. 250 00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:28,290 Thank you. You have restored our village and our way of life. 251 00:16:28,906 --> 00:16:31,356 We would like to make you honorary members of our tribe. 252 00:16:31,909 --> 00:16:34,140 Drink deep from these cups. 253 00:16:36,205 --> 00:16:38,467 The bear urine will make you strong. 254 00:16:41,043 --> 00:16:43,305 - Actually, it's Fresca. - Fresca? 255 00:16:45,797 --> 00:16:48,946 Well, grab your partner And start swinging them. 256 00:16:49,593 --> 00:16:51,167 Don't forget the two-drink minimum. 257 00:16:51,595 --> 00:16:55,297 Take your corner by the hand Get adult videos on demand. 258 00:16:56,016 --> 00:16:59,822 Flash your teeth, let's see those smiles Pay with Visa, earn free miles. 259 00:17:00,562 --> 00:17:02,095 Yee-haw! 260 00:17:05,234 --> 00:17:08,893 - Dang it. Clara should be here by now. - I'm sure she's just running late. 261 00:17:09,613 --> 00:17:12,908 Or she's not coming because she doesn't understand how special you are. 262 00:17:13,575 --> 00:17:15,254 That sure don't sound like my sister. 263 00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:18,153 Sister? You mean she's not your girlfriend? 264 00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:21,416 Hell, no. They outlawed that in this state two years ago. 265 00:17:23,293 --> 00:17:25,306 Need help. Come with me. Done something terrible. 266 00:17:25,796 --> 00:17:27,662 Don't care. Just totally caught in the moment. 267 00:17:31,134 --> 00:17:33,324 I have some sad news for y'all. 268 00:17:33,846 --> 00:17:36,703 After this dance, I'm heading to jail. 269 00:17:37,307 --> 00:17:39,685 One of my stray bullets hit a Texas Ranger. 270 00:17:40,227 --> 00:17:41,833 But I'll be back in six months. 271 00:17:42,271 --> 00:17:44,533 Yee-haw! 272 00:17:45,065 --> 00:17:48,068 Blanks. They just don't feel the same. 273 00:18:02,249 --> 00:18:04,772 So I sent Luke's sister down the wrong trail and... 274 00:18:05,335 --> 00:18:07,233 Hey, where did all this water come from? 275 00:18:07,713 --> 00:18:09,068 There used to be a trail here. 276 00:18:09,464 --> 00:18:11,143 And there used to be a beaver dam there. 277 00:18:11,592 --> 00:18:14,011 Who are you, the "used to" police? 278 00:18:14,553 --> 00:18:15,794 Help! 279 00:18:16,180 --> 00:18:18,192 Help me. I can't swim. 280 00:18:18,682 --> 00:18:20,872 I'm one lesson short. 281 00:18:21,810 --> 00:18:23,896 How can we get across? 282 00:18:24,521 --> 00:18:27,451 Hey, beavers, remember me, you buck-toothed nerds? 283 00:18:39,369 --> 00:18:41,486 Run across. 284 00:18:46,043 --> 00:18:48,201 I'm sorry. I only sent you the wrong way... 285 00:18:48,712 --> 00:18:50,683 ...because I thought you were Luke's girlfriend. 286 00:18:51,173 --> 00:18:54,280 Well, that certainly justifies attempted murder. 287 00:18:54,927 --> 00:18:58,003 You know, there are more important things in this world than boys. 288 00:18:58,639 --> 00:19:02,038 - And when... Hello, handsome. - What's up, cootie breath? 289 00:19:05,896 --> 00:19:09,452 Look at those stupid city slickers with their fur coats and pointy hats. 290 00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:11,464 Homer, those are elk. 291 00:19:11,860 --> 00:19:13,320 I still hate them. 292 00:19:14,112 --> 00:19:15,541 Go back to Grosse Pointe. 293 00:19:20,494 --> 00:19:23,205 Lisa, Clara told me about how you saved her last night. 294 00:19:23,789 --> 00:19:25,760 - Did Clara tell you anything else? - No. 295 00:19:26,250 --> 00:19:29,357 Just that she felt mighty stupid for getting herself lost in them woods. 296 00:19:30,003 --> 00:19:32,714 Listen, Luke. It's my fault Clara got lost. 297 00:19:33,298 --> 00:19:37,031 I didn't know she was your sister and I wanted you all to myself. 298 00:19:37,761 --> 00:19:39,482 You would do that just for me? 299 00:19:41,431 --> 00:19:42,860 That's despicable. 300 00:19:43,267 --> 00:19:46,301 You're the kind of slicker my family left Central Park West to avoid. 301 00:19:46,937 --> 00:19:50,493 You got a lot of chutzpah, missy. Goodbye. 302 00:19:54,403 --> 00:19:57,041 Oh, I had my first crush. 303 00:19:57,614 --> 00:20:00,763 And all it did was make me do terrible things... 304 00:20:01,410 --> 00:20:04,152 ...and then break my heart. 305 00:20:05,956 --> 00:20:07,927 Lisa, welcome to love. 306 00:20:08,417 --> 00:20:11,524 It's full of doubt and pain and uncertainty. 307 00:20:12,337 --> 00:20:17,540 But then one day, you find a man you love so much, it hurts. 308 00:20:18,677 --> 00:20:21,242 - Who is he? - You, Homie. 309 00:20:21,805 --> 00:20:24,474 Whoo-hoo! In your face, imaginary guy. 310 00:20:26,310 --> 00:20:28,572 Hey, let's see if Dad's song is finally off the air. 311 00:20:29,563 --> 00:20:31,721 Next, Springfield's latest one-hit wonder... 312 00:20:32,232 --> 00:20:35,485 ...The "Moe Szyslak Connection," produced by David Byrne. 313 00:20:36,153 --> 00:20:37,905 Moe, Moe, Moe. 314 00:20:38,363 --> 00:20:40,449 How do you like me? How do you like me? 315 00:20:40,949 --> 00:20:42,524 Moe, Moe, Moe. 316 00:20:42,951 --> 00:20:45,037 Why don't you like me? Nobody likes me. 317 00:20:45,537 --> 00:20:48,280 Eh. We can spend another week at the ranch. 318 00:20:49,917 --> 00:20:51,491 Yee-haw! 319 00:20:54,630 --> 00:20:57,299 Oh, that can't be good for the struts.