1
00:00:06,365 --> 00:00:07,573
_
2
00:00:07,650 --> 00:00:08,791
Come on, Maggie.
3
00:00:10,214 --> 00:00:11,844
Hi. Sorry we're late.
4
00:00:11,921 --> 00:00:14,513
This is Maggie.
We're here for our first day.
5
00:00:14,590 --> 00:00:17,995
Hello, Maggie.
And who will be picking her up?
6
00:00:18,019 --> 00:00:20,831
W... A-After she falls down?
7
00:00:20,855 --> 00:00:22,805
No, at the end of the day.
8
00:00:22,881 --> 00:00:24,690
Wait, I don't stay with her?
9
00:00:24,767 --> 00:00:26,934
Research shows pre-toddlers learn best
10
00:00:27,011 --> 00:00:28,978
in a parent-free environment.
11
00:00:29,054 --> 00:00:31,864
Unless you want to stunt her growth,
which is great.
12
00:00:31,941 --> 00:00:33,941
We're not supposed to judge.
13
00:00:34,018 --> 00:00:36,110
No, no, it's not that.
14
00:00:36,186 --> 00:00:38,515
I just don't want Maggie
to feel abandoned.
15
00:00:41,450 --> 00:00:43,284
So, we'll see you at 4:00.
16
00:00:43,360 --> 00:00:45,995
Oh. Okay, then.
17
00:00:46,071 --> 00:00:49,999
Hmm. Now what will I do
with the rest of my day?
18
00:00:50,075 --> 00:00:53,294
I know. I'll ask my favorite mommy blog.
19
00:00:53,370 --> 00:00:55,838
- Hmm. Hmm.
- _
20
00:00:55,914 --> 00:00:58,340
Now turn that resistance all the way up!
21
00:00:58,417 --> 00:01:01,802
Come on!
I want to see you bitches suffer!
22
00:01:04,089 --> 00:01:06,254
Am I the only one who heard that?
23
00:01:06,289 --> 00:01:09,880
I love it. It's like being coached
by the voice inside my head.
24
00:01:09,904 --> 00:01:13,480
Spin yourselves to death,
you land manatees!
25
00:01:17,450 --> 00:01:18,527
- Mm.
- _
26
00:01:20,064 --> 00:01:23,824
Paint harder,
you sausage-fingered no-talents!
27
00:01:26,087 --> 00:01:28,871
"Sex-prise your man at work."
28
00:01:28,947 --> 00:01:30,131
Mm... Hmm?
29
00:01:30,166 --> 00:01:31,735
What are you doing here?
30
00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:36,240
Maybe you could give
me a safety inspection.
31
00:01:36,264 --> 00:01:38,714
Oh, my God,
I can't believe this is happening.
32
00:01:38,791 --> 00:01:41,050
I'm so sex-prised!
33
00:01:41,126 --> 00:01:43,719
There's security cameras everywhere,
34
00:01:43,796 --> 00:01:46,680
so we'll have to snuggle under the desk.
35
00:01:46,757 --> 00:01:48,752
On top of the desk, please.
36
00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:49,920
Oh!
37
00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:53,187
Thanks, Jerry! Nice. Real cool.
38
00:01:53,975 --> 00:01:57,116
Now how do I fill the day? Hmm.
39
00:01:57,193 --> 00:01:58,817
What's Well Plus Good?
40
00:01:58,894 --> 00:02:00,625
It's pronounced "Well and Good."
41
00:02:00,660 --> 00:02:02,955
Ugh, why is everyone talking to me?
42
00:02:03,032 --> 00:02:05,124
Well, if all these people
want to work here,
43
00:02:05,201 --> 00:02:07,043
maybe I want to work here.
44
00:02:08,871 --> 00:02:10,796
All right, go to tablet seven
45
00:02:10,873 --> 00:02:13,374
to take your pre-application
ethics assessment.
46
00:02:13,450 --> 00:02:14,917
Cool hair, by the way.
47
00:02:14,993 --> 00:02:17,803
You think that my hair is cool?
48
00:02:18,454 --> 00:02:20,756
Well, thank you, Lauren.
49
00:02:20,833 --> 00:02:23,620
Oh, by the way,
your name tag is upside down.
50
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:25,386
Mm, thank you.
51
00:02:25,462 --> 00:02:27,563
You're the only person to mention that.
52
00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:38,991
Ooh, major mom vibes. She's perfect.
53
00:02:39,998 --> 00:02:41,902
"I always never lie."
54
00:02:41,979 --> 00:02:45,998
Hmm. Two.
"I sometimes always never lie."
55
00:02:46,075 --> 00:02:49,618
"If I never found a wallet,
I would always give it back."
56
00:02:49,695 --> 00:02:52,046
What color is the wallet?
57
00:02:52,081 --> 00:02:54,818
Marge Simpson. There was never a test.
58
00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:56,792
Except there always was.
59
00:02:56,869 --> 00:02:59,678
- There wasn't?
- And you passed.
60
00:02:59,755 --> 00:03:02,181
Welcome to the Well and Good family.
61
00:03:02,258 --> 00:03:04,995
The rest of you can go.
Your résumés will be deleted.
62
00:03:07,188 --> 00:03:09,805
I'm the only one you hired?
63
00:03:09,882 --> 00:03:12,669
You're the only one we partnered with.
64
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:13,734
Hmm.
65
00:03:15,438 --> 00:03:17,604
Okay, so I work here now.
66
00:03:17,681 --> 00:03:19,481
I never asked what we sell.
67
00:03:19,558 --> 00:03:21,011
I can figure this out.
68
00:03:21,035 --> 00:03:25,538
Hmm. Candy? Bath bombs? Blowtorches?
69
00:03:25,614 --> 00:03:27,851
$30 bottles of soda?
70
00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:29,041
Uh, excuse me.
71
00:03:29,118 --> 00:03:32,022
Uh, do you recommend
the tincture or the oil?
72
00:03:32,046 --> 00:03:35,330
I... The-the tincture
is more expensive, I guess.
73
00:03:35,407 --> 00:03:37,458
Look, this is about you.
74
00:03:37,534 --> 00:03:40,364
And taking care of you. I think.
75
00:03:40,388 --> 00:03:43,964
So you have to put yourself... first?
76
00:03:44,041 --> 00:03:46,725
Well, your no-frills,
fumbling sales pitch
77
00:03:46,802 --> 00:03:49,803
has won me over. I'll take both. Yes...
78
00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:53,065
Wow, girl, you just made
a hundred-dollar sale.
79
00:03:53,142 --> 00:03:54,878
You're gonna fit in great here.
80
00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:58,020
Thing is, what does here sell?
81
00:03:58,096 --> 00:04:00,217
Is this what RadioShack is now?
82
00:04:00,241 --> 00:04:02,908
Mm, no.
We're a high-end cannabis boutique.
83
00:04:02,985 --> 00:04:05,027
You sell pot?!
84
00:04:05,103 --> 00:04:06,653
Technically, I check I.D.s.
85
00:04:06,730 --> 00:04:08,080
You sell pot.
86
00:04:11,235 --> 00:04:12,993
I'm a drugs dealer!
87
00:04:13,070 --> 00:04:15,704
Mm, cannabis is legal in this state now.
88
00:04:15,781 --> 00:04:17,568
Well, so is water-skiing,
89
00:04:17,592 --> 00:04:19,758
but that doesn't mean I have to sell it!
90
00:04:19,835 --> 00:04:21,427
I'm sorry.
91
00:04:22,505 --> 00:04:23,762
Marge, don't leave, seriously.
92
00:04:23,839 --> 00:04:25,576
Like, I'm asking.
93
00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:29,913
Drederick Tatum!
I own your countertop grill.
94
00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:31,748
Oh, take care not to use metal utensils
95
00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:33,272
on the non-stick surfaces.
96
00:04:33,349 --> 00:04:35,891
But anyway,
after my boxing career ended,
97
00:04:35,968 --> 00:04:37,254
I was in a lot of pain.
98
00:04:37,278 --> 00:04:38,944
Specifically, in my punching hands
99
00:04:39,021 --> 00:04:40,354
and my blocking face.
100
00:04:40,430 --> 00:04:42,948
But following a regimen of CBD oil
101
00:04:43,025 --> 00:04:45,359
and medicinal hits from a Pikachu bong,
102
00:04:45,435 --> 00:04:47,694
I was able to enjoy life again.
103
00:04:47,771 --> 00:04:51,073
Which inspired me to create
Well and Good Healing Emporiums.
104
00:04:51,149 --> 00:04:55,035
But pot is for Cheeches... and Chongs.
105
00:04:55,112 --> 00:04:56,804
Marge, it's not about getting high.
106
00:04:56,839 --> 00:04:57,846
It's about wellness.
107
00:04:57,873 --> 00:05:00,799
And that's why I've hand-picked
the perfect team here.
108
00:05:00,876 --> 00:05:02,251
I'm an expert in cannabinoids
109
00:05:02,327 --> 00:05:04,211
and cutting-edge delivery systems,
110
00:05:04,288 --> 00:05:06,950
aka infusers, decarboxylators,
111
00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:09,119
transdermals and pet suppositories.
112
00:05:09,143 --> 00:05:11,218
And I'm super hot.
113
00:05:11,295 --> 00:05:12,811
And what do you need me for?
114
00:05:12,888 --> 00:05:14,429
Marge, people know
you want to help them,
115
00:05:14,506 --> 00:05:15,889
that it's safe here.
116
00:05:15,966 --> 00:05:17,794
Not some place for Cheeches and Chongs,
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00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:19,476
as you so recently put it.
118
00:05:19,529 --> 00:05:22,633
Uh, I'm sorry.
I don't think this is really me.
119
00:05:22,657 --> 00:05:25,302
- Good luck with your lifestyle.
- Uh...
120
00:05:25,326 --> 00:05:28,827
Oh, it's a shame there's
no drug for hurt feelings.
121
00:05:28,904 --> 00:05:30,788
Oh, wait, there totally is.
122
00:05:35,986 --> 00:05:38,504
You know, in some families,
123
00:05:38,581 --> 00:05:40,651
they go around the
table and everyone says
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00:05:40,675 --> 00:05:42,508
one thing they learned that day.
125
00:05:42,585 --> 00:05:45,489
Okay. I learned that.
126
00:05:45,513 --> 00:05:48,255
Well, I learned that the
former heavyweight champion
127
00:05:48,332 --> 00:05:50,966
of the world owns a marijuana store.
128
00:05:51,043 --> 00:05:53,093
And he offered me a job,
which I turned down.
129
00:05:53,170 --> 00:05:54,303
Wait, what?
130
00:05:54,379 --> 00:05:56,667
I mean, the people were really cool,
131
00:05:56,691 --> 00:05:58,265
and they thought I was cool,
132
00:05:58,342 --> 00:06:00,837
which made me feel "stoked."
133
00:06:01,434 --> 00:06:04,938
But I'm not going to be
a reefer saleslady.
134
00:06:05,015 --> 00:06:06,843
Well, I guess
there's nothing wrong with it.
135
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:09,680
Cannabis is legal in this state.
136
00:06:09,704 --> 00:06:11,348
Yeah, it's basically the same thing
137
00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:12,821
as working in a liquor store.
138
00:06:12,898 --> 00:06:15,616
You can work in a liquor store?
139
00:06:16,196 --> 00:06:17,854
- Mmm...
- Stay with us, big guy.
140
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,189
Mm...
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00:06:19,213 --> 00:06:21,788
Wow. I thought you'd be opposed to it.
142
00:06:21,865 --> 00:06:23,790
People are stressed out these days.
143
00:06:23,867 --> 00:06:26,960
Scurvy is back, there's,
like, 60 wars going on.
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00:06:27,037 --> 00:06:30,505
Whales are eating our
precious ocean plastic.
145
00:06:30,582 --> 00:06:33,258
Maybe people want to
smoke a doob for that.
146
00:06:33,335 --> 00:06:35,894
Oh, yeah, everyone's
selling crap to stoners now.
147
00:06:35,971 --> 00:06:38,305
Have you seen the new
Krusty Burger commercial?
148
00:06:41,218 --> 00:06:44,403
When you've got the munchies,
for some reason...
149
00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:47,740
wink, wink... you crave weird.
150
00:06:47,816 --> 00:06:49,816
A deep-fried rib-wich
151
00:06:49,893 --> 00:06:51,818
served on a warm doughnut.
152
00:06:51,895 --> 00:06:54,413
Or a spaghetti-filled
grilled cheese sandwich
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00:06:54,490 --> 00:06:57,060
drizzled with ranch pudding.
154
00:06:57,084 --> 00:07:02,037
Krusty's Munchie Mouthfuls.
It's high time you tried it.
155
00:07:02,114 --> 00:07:06,833
Get it? Get it?! Get it?
156
00:07:08,324 --> 00:07:09,336
I get it.
157
00:07:09,413 --> 00:07:12,765
Well, Mr. Tatum
did personally choose me.
158
00:07:12,841 --> 00:07:14,600
He said I was helpful.
159
00:07:14,677 --> 00:07:17,914
Honey, you're the most
helpful person I've ever met.
160
00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:20,751
Now go sell the safe legal drugs
161
00:07:20,775 --> 00:07:24,184
our kids should never, ever use!
162
00:07:24,261 --> 00:07:25,736
- Especially Bart!
- Uh...?
163
00:07:32,453 --> 00:07:33,764
Is this an Apple store?
164
00:07:33,788 --> 00:07:35,904
Everyone keeps asking that.
165
00:07:35,981 --> 00:07:38,240
I dropped my phone
because of my arthritis.
166
00:07:38,316 --> 00:07:39,792
We can't fix your phone,
167
00:07:39,868 --> 00:07:42,773
but I can sure help with that arthritis.
168
00:07:42,797 --> 00:07:46,632
Try this amazing pain-relieving lotion.
169
00:07:46,709 --> 00:07:48,801
Oh. It tingles.
170
00:07:48,877 --> 00:07:51,615
Not like Jergens. I hate Jergens!
171
00:07:51,639 --> 00:07:55,716
You seem stressed. Hmm.
172
00:07:55,792 --> 00:07:58,218
Why not try some yummy gummies?
173
00:08:00,055 --> 00:08:03,960
Marge, thank you.
When Mother's happy, I'm happy.
174
00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:05,892
Or at least, much less miserable.
175
00:08:05,969 --> 00:08:08,298
This big shot here is the principal
176
00:08:08,322 --> 00:08:10,022
of a whole school!
177
00:08:10,816 --> 00:08:12,311
Show her your key ring.
178
00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:19,072
Oh, I love it.
179
00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:25,148
Psst. I want to buy some pot.
180
00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:27,818
All right, pump the brakes, Jhorts.
181
00:08:27,842 --> 00:08:29,986
Got to ask a few questions first.
182
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:32,678
Now, do you want a body high
183
00:08:32,755 --> 00:08:35,130
or a front-of-the-face buzz?
184
00:08:35,207 --> 00:08:37,015
I don't know. Just hook me up.
185
00:08:37,092 --> 00:08:40,802
Mmm, I have the perfect strain in mind.
186
00:08:40,879 --> 00:08:42,332
But be warned, boo,
187
00:08:42,356 --> 00:08:44,857
the couch-lock is strong on this one,
188
00:08:44,892 --> 00:08:47,267
but there's, like, zero mind-race.
189
00:08:47,344 --> 00:08:49,436
W-What are you saying? I just want...
190
00:08:49,513 --> 00:08:50,696
Weed.
191
00:08:50,773 --> 00:08:53,677
Okay, almost there.
Almost there. Now listen.
192
00:08:53,701 --> 00:08:55,150
- Do you want this in flower...
- Yeah.
193
00:08:55,227 --> 00:08:57,152
- ...shatter, topical...
- Uh...
194
00:08:57,229 --> 00:08:58,820
- ...edible, nasal mist...
- I...
195
00:08:58,897 --> 00:09:02,157
- ...ear drops?
- Look, I just want to score a bag of shwag
196
00:09:02,234 --> 00:09:05,368
from some dude who may
or may not be a cop.
197
00:09:05,403 --> 00:09:06,545
I'm a cop.
198
00:09:06,622 --> 00:09:08,497
Have you tried this?
199
00:09:08,573 --> 00:09:10,340
Nothing makes sense anymore!
200
00:09:12,577 --> 00:09:15,003
Give me a beer.
201
00:09:20,153 --> 00:09:22,302
It doesn't make my hair
smell like anything!
202
00:09:23,098 --> 00:09:25,898
I dreamed my whole life
of legalized weed.
203
00:09:25,974 --> 00:09:28,016
Turns out it's a real buzzkill.
204
00:09:28,093 --> 00:09:29,476
Ain't that the truth?
205
00:09:29,553 --> 00:09:30,772
Times have changed.
206
00:09:30,796 --> 00:09:34,022
The romance of alcohol
is fading into the past.
207
00:09:34,099 --> 00:09:37,359
Stoners will never know the
joy of sitting on the toilet
208
00:09:37,435 --> 00:09:39,222
and barfing into your own underwear.
209
00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:42,322
Or picking a fight with
a guy twice your size
210
00:09:42,399 --> 00:09:44,825
because his leg touched your car.
211
00:09:44,901 --> 00:09:46,827
Yeah. I miss the old days, too.
212
00:09:46,903 --> 00:09:50,734
When buying pot was... scuzzy.
213
00:09:50,758 --> 00:09:54,042
I'd pay anything to
turn back that clock.
214
00:09:54,119 --> 00:09:55,377
You know what'd be popular?
215
00:09:55,453 --> 00:09:57,003
If one of those legal places
216
00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:58,839
made it feel like you were scoring weed
217
00:09:58,915 --> 00:10:01,842
from your old-school pot connection.
218
00:10:01,918 --> 00:10:03,914
That's a great idea,
and we should do it.
219
00:10:03,938 --> 00:10:05,846
Those tie-dyed bong monkeys
220
00:10:05,922 --> 00:10:08,774
will cough up big-time for
the full dirtbag shebang!
221
00:10:08,851 --> 00:10:11,360
I'll alert the bong monkeys.
222
00:10:14,125 --> 00:10:16,949
Afternoon, gernts. You need some suds?
223
00:10:17,025 --> 00:10:21,097
Duffman knows it's always
time for a refreshing Duff!
224
00:10:21,638 --> 00:10:22,933
Yeah, that being said,
225
00:10:22,957 --> 00:10:26,124
sometimes Barry is looking for
a little herbal refreshment.
226
00:10:26,201 --> 00:10:27,437
Know what I mean?
227
00:10:27,461 --> 00:10:29,279
Right this way, fellas.
228
00:10:33,116 --> 00:10:35,634
So you guys friends of Moe?
229
00:10:35,711 --> 00:10:38,470
Yeah. Uh, these guys are cool.
230
00:10:38,547 --> 00:10:41,923
Whoa, tight. Come on in, gentlemen.
231
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:45,121
Oh, wait. Here's a disclaimer, man.
232
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:46,645
"This is a legal dispensary,
233
00:10:46,722 --> 00:10:47,958
"compliant with all laws and statutes.
234
00:10:47,982 --> 00:10:49,264
"As part of the experience,
235
00:10:49,341 --> 00:10:50,961
cast members may pretend it's illegal."
236
00:10:50,985 --> 00:10:52,934
All right. Shall we?
237
00:10:53,011 --> 00:10:56,633
Hmm. Crazy bird, rusty free weights,
238
00:10:56,657 --> 00:10:59,135
everything smells like
a damp swimsuit...
239
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:00,775
I'm home.
240
00:11:00,852 --> 00:11:02,327
Who are you supposed to be?
241
00:11:02,404 --> 00:11:05,308
I'm the weird friend who
never acknowledges you.
242
00:11:06,043 --> 00:11:09,001
I was that guy
for my old roommate Scott.
243
00:11:09,077 --> 00:11:10,201
Mm-hmm.
244
00:11:13,674 --> 00:11:17,342
- Mm?
- Mm-mm. Just stick it in the Band-Aid can.
245
00:11:17,419 --> 00:11:20,253
Wh... It's all stems and seeds.
246
00:11:20,330 --> 00:11:21,588
- Mm-hmm.
- Thank you.
247
00:11:21,665 --> 00:11:22,826
Mm.
248
00:11:22,850 --> 00:11:25,309
_
249
00:11:26,992 --> 00:11:28,069
_
250
00:11:41,035 --> 00:11:43,634
So, with the success of
the Well and Good brand...
251
00:11:43,669 --> 00:11:44,986
which, you know, thank God...
252
00:11:45,063 --> 00:11:47,581
I'm so pleased to present
our latest venture...
253
00:11:49,708 --> 00:11:52,044
- Werk.
- This is The Drederick.
254
00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:55,525
It's a fully realized
cannabis resort and spa.
255
00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:57,360
Now, for our launch event,
256
00:11:57,384 --> 00:12:00,794
we'll be inviting marijuana
influencers from Dave Chapelle
257
00:12:00,870 --> 00:12:03,797
to Harrison Ford,
who is flying himself, by the way,
258
00:12:03,873 --> 00:12:05,966
so you know, fingers crossed.
259
00:12:06,042 --> 00:12:07,370
Marge, I was thinking that you would be
260
00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:09,372
the hostess of this launch party,
261
00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:13,043
acting as the de facto face
of the Well and Good brand.
262
00:12:13,067 --> 00:12:15,809
Oh, my God. Why me?
263
00:12:15,885 --> 00:12:17,402
Well, Marge, 'cause people trust you.
264
00:12:17,479 --> 00:12:19,688
Also, my face
is the intellectual property
265
00:12:19,764 --> 00:12:21,982
of the artist who created this tattoo.
266
00:12:22,058 --> 00:12:23,386
So, you know, I'm out.
267
00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:25,577
Oh, I'd love to.
268
00:12:25,654 --> 00:12:27,348
This is so exciting, I...
269
00:12:27,450 --> 00:12:29,247
Wait, wait, no. I wanted to ask you.
270
00:12:29,324 --> 00:12:33,326
But unfortunately,
there was a fly in the CBD ointment.
271
00:12:33,403 --> 00:12:36,900
Your husband Homer
is selling weed, Marge.
272
00:12:38,130 --> 00:12:39,833
That's terrible.
273
00:12:39,909 --> 00:12:43,021
Wait, no, so am I. We all are.
274
00:12:43,056 --> 00:12:45,097
We are trying to elevate
the image of cannabis.
275
00:12:45,173 --> 00:12:48,883
This is what he's doing.
276
00:12:50,305 --> 00:12:52,582
Oh, he knows how much self-esteem I get
277
00:12:52,606 --> 00:12:53,939
from selling bud.
278
00:12:54,016 --> 00:12:55,849
And that's our good frisbee.
279
00:12:55,925 --> 00:12:59,111
I'm afraid that you cannot
continue with this company
280
00:12:59,187 --> 00:13:03,426
while your husband is taking pot
back to the dark ages of 2018.
281
00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:05,567
- I-I'm very sorry.
- Oh, no. No, no, no.
282
00:13:05,643 --> 00:13:07,235
Please, please don't fire me.
283
00:13:07,312 --> 00:13:09,265
I want to be your face.
284
00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:12,609
When Homer realizes how
much this is hurting me,
285
00:13:12,644 --> 00:13:14,793
I'm sure he'll understand.
286
00:13:14,870 --> 00:13:16,628
I don't understand.
287
00:13:16,705 --> 00:13:19,205
We're doing the same thing,
except you dress like a doctor,
288
00:13:19,324 --> 00:13:21,800
and I dress like a cool toddler.
289
00:13:21,877 --> 00:13:23,209
Don't you get it?
290
00:13:23,286 --> 00:13:26,585
I'm a healer, and you're a dealer.
291
00:13:26,620 --> 00:13:27,756
You need to quit.
292
00:13:27,832 --> 00:13:31,593
I can quit whenever I want.
I just don't want to.
293
00:13:31,669 --> 00:13:33,899
What happened to the quitter I married?
294
00:13:33,934 --> 00:13:35,263
I quit quitting!
295
00:13:35,340 --> 00:13:38,391
- What's going on?
- Mom and Dad are having a drug war.
296
00:13:38,468 --> 00:13:40,964
- It's not different!
- And you spent $1,000...
297
00:13:40,988 --> 00:13:42,892
I make CNN much funnier!
298
00:13:47,445 --> 00:13:48,610
Homer wouldn't quit.
299
00:13:49,106 --> 00:13:52,113
Here's my smock,
my key to the hash register,
300
00:13:52,190 --> 00:13:55,500
my business card reading "associate."
301
00:13:55,577 --> 00:13:57,786
Instead of being the
face of the company,
302
00:13:57,862 --> 00:14:00,246
my face will just be me.
303
00:14:00,945 --> 00:14:03,541
Wait, Marge.
There is one way to save your job,
304
00:14:03,618 --> 00:14:05,794
but it would entail the
betrayal of your husband,
305
00:14:05,870 --> 00:14:09,514
which I would never ask you to do.
306
00:14:09,591 --> 00:14:12,517
Well, I mean, it doesn't hurt to ask.
307
00:14:12,594 --> 00:14:15,999
With your help, we can get the
government to shut him down.
308
00:14:16,023 --> 00:14:18,501
The FBI? The DEA?
309
00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:20,650
The County Health Department.
310
00:14:23,012 --> 00:14:25,675
I don't understand.
What crime is Homer committing?
311
00:14:25,699 --> 00:14:26,981
Pot's legal.
312
00:14:27,058 --> 00:14:29,150
Yes, but he isn't licensed to serve
313
00:14:29,227 --> 00:14:32,987
non-psychotropic edibles, aka food.
314
00:14:33,064 --> 00:14:35,518
If he offers snacks to
his customers and they eat
315
00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:39,828
even one bite,
we go in and take him down.
316
00:14:39,904 --> 00:14:43,882
So we need you to bait
the trap with these.
317
00:14:43,959 --> 00:14:45,383
Are you in?
318
00:14:46,628 --> 00:14:48,461
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
319
00:14:48,538 --> 00:14:49,838
- Nailed it.
- Mm-hmm.
320
00:14:49,914 --> 00:14:52,674
You're the son I never had.
321
00:14:52,709 --> 00:14:55,135
Hey, Homer.
Look who's stopped by over here.
322
00:14:55,211 --> 00:14:58,638
I am so sorry about our little tiff.
323
00:14:58,715 --> 00:15:02,901
Will you accept this apology
gift for you and your friends?
324
00:15:02,978 --> 00:15:05,403
Oh, honey. You're always in my corner.
325
00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:07,147
I have the most loving,
326
00:15:07,223 --> 00:15:09,858
supportive, loyal wife in the world.
327
00:15:20,921 --> 00:15:22,565
If Simpson keeps eating like this,
328
00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:25,735
he'll hit bottom dust before
anyone takes the bait.
329
00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:29,219
Come on, you fat bastard,
offer the customer some cheese balls.
330
00:15:31,456 --> 00:15:35,008
And the whole floor
331
00:15:35,084 --> 00:15:36,843
is an air hockey table,
332
00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:40,013
so moving furniture...
333
00:15:40,089 --> 00:15:41,848
is like...
334
00:15:42,623 --> 00:15:46,060
Homer! Give your friends
some cheese balls.
335
00:15:46,137 --> 00:15:48,229
- Would anyone care to partake?
- Hmm.
336
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:55,570
Code Orange. Go, go, go!
337
00:15:55,647 --> 00:15:57,001
Stop eating!
338
00:15:58,212 --> 00:16:00,770
Health Department. This is a raid.
339
00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:02,210
We got to get rid of the stuff.
340
00:16:05,949 --> 00:16:08,082
Oh, no! Come on!
341
00:16:08,159 --> 00:16:09,209
Oh, God!
342
00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:13,973
_
343
00:16:13,974 --> 00:16:17,050
We got everything we need.
344
00:16:17,126 --> 00:16:18,894
You're shut down, pal.
345
00:16:18,895 --> 00:16:19,895
_
346
00:16:24,109 --> 00:16:25,391
You, you knew.
347
00:16:25,468 --> 00:16:27,819
- You...
- Set you up.
348
00:16:27,896 --> 00:16:32,407
You're coming with us,
scumbag, to pay a $25 fine.
349
00:16:40,225 --> 00:16:41,249
Ah...
350
00:16:41,803 --> 00:16:43,785
Marge, darling,
everything is so perfect.
351
00:16:43,861 --> 00:16:45,620
I hope your husband wasn't too upset
352
00:16:45,697 --> 00:16:47,747
about the... you know, the treachery.
353
00:16:47,824 --> 00:16:51,843
Oh, well, Homer is very...
easygoing, so...
354
00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:55,014
Excuse me,
can any of these oils or goos
355
00:16:55,049 --> 00:16:56,965
help me with a knife wound?
356
00:16:57,041 --> 00:17:00,802
I have been stabbed, in the back!
357
00:17:00,878 --> 00:17:04,189
How did you get in?
This is by invitation only.
358
00:17:04,266 --> 00:17:06,599
I said I was Kevin Smith's father.
359
00:17:06,676 --> 00:17:08,860
No one questioned me.
360
00:17:09,517 --> 00:17:11,363
Homer, control yourself.
361
00:17:11,439 --> 00:17:13,365
You're upsetting the influencers.
362
00:17:13,441 --> 00:17:15,367
They're very easily influenced.
363
00:17:16,418 --> 00:17:18,820
That guy is on alcohol.
364
00:17:19,643 --> 00:17:20,850
Please don't ruin this.
365
00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:24,242
This is cannabinoid health,
and I am its face.
366
00:17:25,425 --> 00:17:27,328
Cabana boy health.
367
00:17:27,405 --> 00:17:30,048
If it's so good for you...
368
00:17:30,125 --> 00:17:33,863
why have you never tried pot, ever?
369
00:17:38,249 --> 00:17:41,758
Well... does a doctor
need to try insulin
370
00:17:41,793 --> 00:17:43,873
to know that it helps diabetes?
371
00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:46,514
Yes. I think she should.
372
00:17:46,591 --> 00:17:49,851
Surprise! The doctor's a woman. Sexist!
373
00:17:49,927 --> 00:17:52,048
- Oh, yeah. - Good point.
- That is sexist.
374
00:17:52,072 --> 00:17:55,073
Look, I don't have a problem with pot.
375
00:17:55,150 --> 00:17:57,075
I can start any time I want.
376
00:17:57,152 --> 00:17:59,152
I'll do some right now.
377
00:17:59,228 --> 00:18:01,362
Perfect. "Serenity."
378
00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:08,501
See? Nothing.
379
00:18:08,536 --> 00:18:10,830
I'm probably one of those
people it doesn't work on.
380
00:18:10,907 --> 00:18:12,735
I feel like I'm on an elevator
381
00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:16,761
that's going up and
down at the same time.
382
00:18:16,838 --> 00:18:19,431
Something's wrong.
You said this was about wellness,
383
00:18:19,507 --> 00:18:22,100
but I feel high.
384
00:18:22,177 --> 00:18:24,385
Okay, okay, listen.
385
00:18:24,462 --> 00:18:28,584
What you need to understand is this:
I'm high, too!
386
00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:33,611
I'm Serenityed out of my gourd.
387
00:18:35,006 --> 00:18:38,232
Yeah, baby.
388
00:18:38,309 --> 00:18:41,736
I've got to come down.
I've got to eat something.
389
00:18:41,813 --> 00:18:44,906
Um, that was a chicken pot pot pie.
390
00:18:44,982 --> 00:18:47,700
Oh, no. I ate an eatable.
391
00:18:47,777 --> 00:18:50,578
And you just wiped your
mouth with a Hash-nap,
392
00:18:50,655 --> 00:18:52,275
the most potent thing here.
393
00:18:54,450 --> 00:18:55,917
Is this how I always walk?
394
00:18:55,993 --> 00:18:58,753
What do I do with my arms? Okay, got it.
395
00:18:58,830 --> 00:18:59,949
This is normal.
396
00:19:08,148 --> 00:19:10,815
- Hmm?
- Honey, it's me.
397
00:19:11,843 --> 00:19:12,934
Homie.
398
00:19:13,010 --> 00:19:15,131
You're gonna be okay.
399
00:19:15,155 --> 00:19:19,157
In two hours that will seem like 12.
400
00:19:19,234 --> 00:19:21,734
You're so sweet.
401
00:19:21,811 --> 00:19:23,903
And I ratted you out.
402
00:19:23,980 --> 00:19:25,780
No, I get it.
403
00:19:25,857 --> 00:19:27,832
You found a place that
made you feel special,
404
00:19:27,909 --> 00:19:29,664
and you didn't want to lose that.
405
00:19:29,699 --> 00:19:31,744
I still feel weird.
406
00:19:31,821 --> 00:19:34,080
Maybe you'd feel less
weird if I were weird, too.
407
00:19:34,157 --> 00:19:37,008
Here, I'll smoke
one of your futuristic joints.
408
00:19:37,085 --> 00:19:38,584
That's not a doobie!
409
00:19:38,661 --> 00:19:39,665
- Hmm?
- Aah!
410
00:19:45,465 --> 00:19:46,893
Uh-oh.
411
00:19:49,172 --> 00:19:51,764
Oh, man, Dad, what did you do?
412
00:19:53,101 --> 00:19:55,860
Hemp clothes burns like paper!
413
00:19:55,937 --> 00:19:58,863
All wrong, all wrong, all wrong!
414
00:20:06,281 --> 00:20:08,373
- Oops.
- Be cool.
415
00:20:08,450 --> 00:20:10,853
- Mm.
- Cheer up, neck face.
416
00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:14,328
If there's one thing I know,
it's life is nothing but pain.
417
00:20:14,405 --> 00:20:15,955
People will always need guys
418
00:20:16,032 --> 00:20:18,458
like you and me to get them wasted.
419
00:20:18,534 --> 00:20:21,169
Yeah, thanks, monster man hallucination.
420
00:20:21,245 --> 00:20:23,346
Your words are a-a great comfort to me.
421
00:20:26,449 --> 00:20:28,176
We'll get through it somehow.
422
00:20:28,252 --> 00:20:29,877
Well, can I come with y...
423
00:20:41,273 --> 00:20:43,484
In reaction to the
destructive Drederick blaze
424
00:20:43,584 --> 00:20:46,561
which also destroyed the Sign
Language Monkey Sanctuary,
425
00:20:46,583 --> 00:20:48,529
the town council has passed
an emergency ordinance
426
00:20:48,606 --> 00:20:50,823
outlawing the sale of cannabis.
427
00:20:50,900 --> 00:20:52,492
Without that tax money,
428
00:20:52,568 --> 00:20:56,037
Maggie's pre-education
center will have to close.
429
00:20:56,113 --> 00:20:58,298
Aw, man,
they were teaching her Mandarin.
430
00:20:59,926 --> 00:21:01,904
Well, it's probably for the best.
431
00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:04,095
Even though they say
something's not addictive,
432
00:21:04,172 --> 00:21:06,181
you can still get hooked.
433
00:21:09,085 --> 00:21:11,052
And you don't want that.
434
00:21:30,110 --> 00:21:31,130
Shh!
435
00:21:34,222 --> 00:21:36,945
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
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