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The Simpsons S19E13
- The Debarted -
2
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The art teacher is fat, not pregnant.
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00:00:56,589 --> 00:00:58,764
Ow! Mom, Lisa hit me!
4
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I did not!
5
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Kids, knock it off.
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I'm uncomfortable driving
your father's car as it is.
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Taxicab License.
8
00:01:06,801 --> 00:01:07,977
What the...?
9
00:01:12,515 --> 00:01:15,913
Fine! We'll divide the car
into your side and my side.
10
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My leg is the barrier.
11
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Mom!
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The system works!
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It's not funny!
14
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Your wearing cleats!
15
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Stop it! Stop it!
16
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Sorry I'm late...
17
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I was in a car crash.
18
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Many hurt,
but nobody cool was harmed.
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Just sit down, Bart.
20
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Huh?!
21
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Who's the new meat in my seat?
22
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Bart, this is Donny...
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he's here at our school because
he was kicked out of P.S. 132.
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P.S. That school sucked.
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Don't worry, Bart,
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Willie's bringing you something
to sit on.
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Hey, Krabappel,
28
00:02:19,282 --> 00:02:21,423
your name sounds like "crab apple."
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Did you go sour waiting for
someone to pick you?
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Pretty much.
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Huh?
32
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Isn't he awesome?
33
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When he grows up,
I want to be like me!
34
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Look, new kid,
35
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I'm the head hamster in
this habitrail, capisce?
36
00:02:54,382 --> 00:02:56,850
Well, maybe there's a new
guinea pig in your cage.
37
00:02:56,850 --> 00:02:58,082
Capisce that?
38
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Oh, I capisce.
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I capisce just fine.
40
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Oh, well, you just keep
on capisce-ing.
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See-saw!
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Mr. Simpson, this damage will
take a week to fix.
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While your car's in the shop,
uh, you can drive this loaner.
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Loa... ner?
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She's right here.
46
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This is the kind of car you
see in commercials!
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How much am I paying for this?
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- Nothing.
- Hm, it seems like a lot.
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On the contrary.
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The loaner car is complimentary.
It's standard policy.
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Really? Oh!
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You people are idiots!
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That's the dumb...
54
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What a stu...
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I mean, that sounds fair.
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Okay, so...
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Look at you! Idiots!
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Driver of a loaner car
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much better than a
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driver of my normal car...
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Whoa! Fancy wheels!
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What song does the horn play?
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None.
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Classy.
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Wha...?
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Hey, boy, check out
my new car... huh?
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Cut it out!
68
00:04:27,262 --> 00:04:28,801
Want to take a ride with
your old man?
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00:04:28,801 --> 00:04:29,380
No.
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Come on! Come on!
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Oh, come on!
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Oh, fine.
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What's the matter, son?
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There's this new kid
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at school who everyone thinks
is cooler than me.
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Aw, don't give up, boy!
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I believe in you, and not
just because I have to.
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Really, Dad?
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Son, I know when we first met,
we didn't really hit it off,
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but since then I've really
come to respect you.
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And unlike love,
respect can't be bought.
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You're right.
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I'm gonna go to school tomorrow
and show everyone I'm awesome.
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That's my boy.
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Now let's watch the air
conditioner fight the heater.
86
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Now let's add
the rear window defogger.
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Twister! Get down!
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"Air Skinner" brings it up.
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He bounces the ball repeatedly
in a dribbling type motion.
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Foul!
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Great, I fouled out.
Now can I go?
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Nope, I grant you five
more fouls.
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Top this, Donny.
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Thank you, children.
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Welcome to the unveiling of our
new school lunch purchasing plan,
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known as the Flex Plan.
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Students may spend up to
ten points per day
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in up to four
of seven categories.
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Unused points roll over week
to week but not month to month.
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Categories not included:
meat, dairy, vegetables...
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Wha...?
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That's odd.
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But, as a one-time occurrence,
no cause for alarm.
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It's not funny;
these movements are involuntary.
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00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:44,340
This almost makes me want
to find out how magnets work.
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Bart! Bart! Bart!
Bart! Bart! Bart!
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Bart! Bart! Bart!
Bart! Bart! Bart!
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Who did this?
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Until I find out, no one is leaving
this mixed-use auditorium.
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But some of us
have after-school care!
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When I catch
the culprit and I will...
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I'm gonna throw this away...
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and use this instead!
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Principal Skinner?
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I did it.
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Young man, my office, now!
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Huh?
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Why did you take the
rap for me?
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I don't know.
I like your style.
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Well, remember this:
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Bart Simpson takes care
of his friends.
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Come see me when you get out.
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Young man, brace yourself...
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for some congratulations!
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We did it! You're in!
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We finally have a man
on the inside.
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We're gonna put Bart Simpson
away for a long, long time.
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By law, the most we can give
him is a ten-day suspension.
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Well, that's long to a kid!
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All our other attempts
to get a spy inside
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the Bart Simpson operation
have failed.
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Uter, Ralph, Doug the
hip guidance counselor...
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he was never the same after Bart
got through with him.
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Your extracurriculars are
gonna need a lot
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of work if you want
to get into Vanderbilt.
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I'll get the goods on
this Simpson kid.
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You have my word as a snitch.
138
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Oh. Here he comes.
Now this won't be easy,
139
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but pretend I'm a jerk.
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Young man, I'm gonna be on you
like a numerator on a denominator!
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Let's take a ride.
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I got a place with a view.
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I've never seen blue vines before.
144
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They're only sold in Europe.
I know a guy.
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Ah, yeah!
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You can really taste the blue.
147
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Check this out... Nyaa!
148
00:09:20,300 --> 00:09:21,903
Oh, that's so cool!
149
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Here's a little hair
of the dog for tomorrow.
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Oh, thanks, Bart.
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Now th we're buddies,
I can let you in on some of
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the cool scams we run at school.
153
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Oh, yeah? Like what?
154
00:09:33,570 --> 00:09:36,233
Bathroom passes, doctor's notes...
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We can rig a cootie catcher so
you can marry anybody you want.
156
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Whoa! Sherri! I'm in.
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00:09:44,753 --> 00:09:48,403
Milhouse, bust out four
of our finest juice boxes.
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I just wanna say...
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00:09:55,211 --> 00:09:57,583
juice-box fight!
160
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Sounds like fun. Can I play?
161
00:10:02,732 --> 00:10:03,722
Sure.
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00:10:06,578 --> 00:10:07,941
How is that fun?
163
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:10,310
Fun's only fun
if everyone's having fun.
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Mom, what are you doing?
165
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Honey, this is how I save money
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on ketchup and mustard.
167
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Do you do it with relish?
168
00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:18,230
No, I'm kind of
embarrassed about it.
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Mrs. Simpson, may I take you
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for an evening drive?
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Our loaner awaits.
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00:10:23,976 --> 00:10:27,102
Did you just unlock the
car from here?
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Baby, let's cruise
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Away from here...
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Don't be confused, baby
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The way is clear
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And if you want it,
you got it forever
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00:11:03,992 --> 00:11:07,983
This is not
a one-night stand, baby...
179
00:11:09,608 --> 00:11:12,080
Hello. You've reached
the snug bug.
180
00:11:12,806 --> 00:11:14,543
What do you mean my car's ready?!
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00:11:14,543 --> 00:11:15,901
Well, you can keep it, 'cause
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I'm never giving up this one.
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00:11:17,250 --> 00:11:18,791
Now why don't you enjoy
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the sounds of my wife
185
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and me making sweet, sweet love.
186
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That wasn't us,
that was the transmission.
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00:11:47,416 --> 00:11:49,972
Box fight! Box fight!
188
00:11:49,972 --> 00:11:53,021
One whistle! Two whistles!
189
00:11:53,021 --> 00:11:57,541
I'm one whistle away
from three whistles, people!
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00:11:57,856 --> 00:11:59,453
Faculty Lounge
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00:12:04,425 --> 00:12:06,740
All right, here's the plan:
we go in there,
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fill the coffee pot with
crickets from this bag
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00:12:08,823 --> 00:12:10,862
labeled crickets and leave.
194
00:12:21,137 --> 00:12:28,960
I'm shipping up to Boston
Whoa-oh-oh
195
00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:32,601
Shipping up to Boston
Whoa-oh-oh
196
00:12:32,601 --> 00:12:37,450
I'm shipping off
to find my wooden leg
197
00:12:43,436 --> 00:12:47,550
I'm a sailor peg,
and I lost my leg
198
00:12:47,550 --> 00:12:51,761
Climbing up the topsails,
I lost my leg...
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00:13:06,576 --> 00:13:08,113
Skinner's five steps
200
00:13:08,113 --> 00:13:09,031
ahead of me.
201
00:13:09,031 --> 00:13:10,570
I put a tack in his chair,
202
00:13:10,570 --> 00:13:11,882
he's corked his pants!
203
00:13:11,882 --> 00:13:14,672
I throw a tomato,
he's making salad!
204
00:13:14,878 --> 00:13:18,733
I have some information
ye might be interested in.
205
00:13:18,733 --> 00:13:20,682
But it won't be easy to hear.
206
00:13:20,682 --> 00:13:21,961
Because of your stupid accent?
207
00:13:21,961 --> 00:13:23,580
Nach-nae!
208
00:13:23,580 --> 00:13:25,853
Because of it's upsetting nature!
209
00:13:25,853 --> 00:13:29,112
Skinner's gotten to someone
close to you.
210
00:13:29,112 --> 00:13:30,372
A rat.
211
00:13:30,372 --> 00:13:32,392
- Who is it?
- I dunno.
212
00:13:32,392 --> 00:13:33,641
But Skinner's goin' to
213
00:13:33,641 --> 00:13:34,941
meet the rat right now.
214
00:13:38,806 --> 00:13:40,031
Thanks, Willie.
215
00:13:40,548 --> 00:13:42,721
A child thanked me!
216
00:13:42,721 --> 00:13:44,883
I gotta write this in my journal.
217
00:13:45,587 --> 00:13:46,850
Dear...
218
00:13:46,850 --> 00:13:48,340
diary,
219
00:13:48,340 --> 00:13:50,171
Today I've...
220
00:14:10,246 --> 00:14:11,180
Got him.
221
00:14:36,327 --> 00:14:37,822
Where am I?
222
00:14:37,822 --> 00:14:39,760
You're in line for a measle shot.
223
00:14:40,728 --> 00:14:41,941
Okay, now we've made a
224
00:14:41,941 --> 00:14:43,660
guide hole for the real needle.
225
00:14:45,915 --> 00:14:48,051
Uh, Bart, where are we going?
226
00:14:51,777 --> 00:14:52,920
Gentlemen,
227
00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:55,283
someone I thought I could trust
228
00:14:55,283 --> 00:14:56,542
is a rat.
229
00:14:57,548 --> 00:14:58,833
Now, let's see.
230
00:14:58,833 --> 00:15:00,560
Is it my best friend,
231
00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:02,232
my other best friend,
232
00:15:02,232 --> 00:15:04,373
or a kid I just met?
233
00:15:04,778 --> 00:15:06,182
Donny...
234
00:15:06,182 --> 00:15:07,843
grab Milhouse's legs.
235
00:15:07,843 --> 00:15:08,861
He's the rat.
236
00:15:10,125 --> 00:15:12,550
You grew tired of always being
in my shadow.
237
00:15:12,550 --> 00:15:16,640
No, I like your shadow.
It's nice and cool.
238
00:15:17,666 --> 00:15:19,300
Quit it! No!
239
00:15:21,928 --> 00:15:24,782
Don't worry, we'll get him out
in a couple hours.
240
00:15:32,405 --> 00:15:33,392
Oh, my Gosh.
241
00:15:33,392 --> 00:15:36,331
It's an outhouse sent
from the future.
242
00:15:36,331 --> 00:15:38,690
Hey, I'm in here.
243
00:15:38,690 --> 00:15:41,210
Be quiet, Robo-potty.
244
00:15:41,210 --> 00:15:42,973
Okay.
245
00:15:44,526 --> 00:15:45,960
Now that we have taken care
246
00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:46,980
of our rat problem,
247
00:15:46,980 --> 00:15:48,281
Skinner can't stop us,
248
00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:50,591
and I've got a prank I've been
planning for months.
249
00:15:50,591 --> 00:15:52,592
We're going to egg Skinner's house.
250
00:15:52,592 --> 00:15:54,180
We've already egged his car,
251
00:15:54,180 --> 00:15:56,112
his office, and his father's grave.
252
00:15:56,112 --> 00:15:57,513
How's this going to be different?
253
00:15:57,513 --> 00:16:00,561
Gentlemen, this is an ostrich egg.
254
00:16:01,847 --> 00:16:03,452
Normally, you can't even buy these.
255
00:16:03,452 --> 00:16:05,303
You have to buy
the ostrich and wait.
256
00:16:05,303 --> 00:16:06,753
How much of this is gunk?
257
00:16:06,753 --> 00:16:09,490
The whole insides.
258
00:16:09,490 --> 00:16:12,803
Whoa, to think this came out
of some animal's butt.
259
00:16:12,803 --> 00:16:14,760
Beautiful, in it's way.
260
00:16:15,236 --> 00:16:17,033
This car is amazing.
261
00:16:17,033 --> 00:16:19,450
The radio lets me contribute
262
00:16:19,450 --> 00:16:20,830
directly to NPR.
263
00:16:21,115 --> 00:16:24,973
This is Terry Gross from NPR,
saying "Thank you. "
264
00:16:24,973 --> 00:16:27,571
Now, let's get back
to our 1987 interview
265
00:16:27,571 --> 00:16:29,182
with Senator Alan Cranston.
266
00:16:29,182 --> 00:16:31,003
I never dreamed an American car
267
00:16:31,003 --> 00:16:32,171
designed in Germany,
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assembled in Mexico from
parts made in Canada
269
00:16:34,342 --> 00:16:36,232
could be so amazing.
270
00:16:37,225 --> 00:16:39,513
Yeah, I can't believe
all those years
271
00:16:39,513 --> 00:16:41,723
I used to drive
that old piece of...
272
00:16:41,723 --> 00:16:42,590
What the...?
273
00:16:44,165 --> 00:16:45,773
My old car.
274
00:16:45,773 --> 00:16:47,651
So you're sure
this baby'll make
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00:16:47,651 --> 00:16:48,882
it out to the desert?
276
00:16:49,436 --> 00:16:51,680
Sure. Why, what'd you
have in mind?
277
00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:54,743
Well, we gonna start by shooting
her full of holes, and, uh,
278
00:16:54,743 --> 00:16:56,422
then me and the boys are gonna
279
00:16:56,422 --> 00:16:57,922
have a little fun with her.
280
00:16:59,258 --> 00:17:01,232
I'll have you know I love this car
281
00:17:01,232 --> 00:17:02,813
as if it were my own child.
282
00:17:05,925 --> 00:17:07,243
Dad?
283
00:17:07,996 --> 00:17:09,750
Sorry, Maggie.
284
00:17:13,396 --> 00:17:15,800
Say, Simpson, would you mind holding
285
00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:17,313
one end of this banner
286
00:17:17,313 --> 00:17:18,552
while I put it up?
287
00:17:18,552 --> 00:17:21,160
My pleasure, sir.
288
00:17:25,075 --> 00:17:27,621
We'll see who's laughing
when your house
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00:17:27,621 --> 00:17:30,333
is smeared with ostrich albumen.
290
00:17:39,157 --> 00:17:41,261
Donny's the rat.
291
00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:42,963
Where do you think you're going?
292
00:17:42,963 --> 00:17:45,121
Ah, get back to your
knitting, Seymour.
293
00:17:45,121 --> 00:17:48,050
I will, but it's because I want to.
294
00:17:52,565 --> 00:17:55,230
So, guys, before we hit Skinner's,
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I want to make a quick stop.
296
00:18:05,456 --> 00:18:06,712
Hey, Bart,
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00:18:07,208 --> 00:18:09,120
uh, what are we doing here?
298
00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:10,670
There's been a change of plans.
299
00:18:10,670 --> 00:18:13,310
I was going to tell you,
but then I remembered...
300
00:18:13,310 --> 00:18:14,683
you're the rat!
301
00:18:14,683 --> 00:18:16,822
No, no, no,
you got it all wrong.
302
00:18:16,822 --> 00:18:18,871
Skinner's tongue was blue.
303
00:18:18,871 --> 00:18:21,613
Blue from the vines you gave him.
304
00:18:21,613 --> 00:18:23,481
Why'd you do it, man?
305
00:18:23,481 --> 00:18:25,721
Look, you don't start
out wanting to be a rat.
306
00:18:25,721 --> 00:18:27,842
Sometimes it's your only option.
307
00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:30,261
Skinner and Chalmers wanted to get
308
00:18:30,261 --> 00:18:32,061
someone inside your organization
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00:18:32,061 --> 00:18:33,731
someone with no history.
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00:18:33,731 --> 00:18:35,401
Too cute, too tall,
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too Siamese, too Siamese.
312
00:18:37,443 --> 00:18:38,621
How much for that one?
313
00:18:40,795 --> 00:18:42,203
I'm sorry, Bart.
314
00:18:42,203 --> 00:18:43,951
You were like a brother to me.
315
00:18:43,951 --> 00:18:45,201
We were going to take wood
316
00:18:45,201 --> 00:18:46,782
shop together and make nunchucks.
317
00:18:46,782 --> 00:18:48,642
And then take people to our lockers
318
00:18:48,642 --> 00:18:50,130
and show them our nunchucks.
319
00:18:50,130 --> 00:18:51,302
I know.
320
00:18:51,302 --> 00:18:53,092
That would have been cool.
321
00:18:53,418 --> 00:18:55,631
Are we going to fizz
this guy or what?
322
00:18:55,631 --> 00:18:56,521
Fizz me?
323
00:18:56,521 --> 00:18:58,563
A funny thing happens when
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00:18:58,563 --> 00:19:00,833
you mix Mentos with Diet Coke.
325
00:19:03,847 --> 00:19:07,381
Now imagine that times a million.
326
00:19:12,128 --> 00:19:14,121
And it's all going to go down
327
00:19:14,121 --> 00:19:15,501
in Skinner's office.
328
00:19:15,501 --> 00:19:18,331
That's all we needed to hear.
329
00:19:19,037 --> 00:19:21,473
Running away rules!
330
00:19:21,473 --> 00:19:25,473
Sorry to plop,
plop on your fizz, fizz.
331
00:19:25,473 --> 00:19:27,342
What are you doing here?
332
00:19:27,627 --> 00:19:30,333
I knew egging my house
was just a ploy.
333
00:19:30,333 --> 00:19:32,893
You see, the rat who told
you about my rat
334
00:19:32,893 --> 00:19:34,431
was also a rat.
335
00:19:34,431 --> 00:19:37,323
It was rats within rats...
336
00:19:37,323 --> 00:19:39,110
which was also me dinner last night.
337
00:19:39,110 --> 00:19:41,571
Willie?!
You're on Skinner's side?!
338
00:19:41,571 --> 00:19:42,921
He gave me something
339
00:19:42,921 --> 00:19:44,132
you never could...
340
00:19:44,132 --> 00:19:47,090
an elementary school diploma.
341
00:19:49,055 --> 00:19:51,442
Bart, we're going to send
you to the toughest
342
00:19:51,442 --> 00:19:53,822
juvenile detention center there is.
343
00:19:53,822 --> 00:19:55,912
And it's all thanks to Donny here,
344
00:19:55,912 --> 00:19:57,631
who can happily live the
rest of his life
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00:19:57,631 --> 00:19:59,341
knowing he betrayed the one boy
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00:19:59,341 --> 00:20:00,931
who actually cared about him.
347
00:20:22,015 --> 00:20:24,522
Skinner!
348
00:20:24,522 --> 00:20:26,830
- Skinner?
- I'm all right, sir.
349
00:20:26,830 --> 00:20:29,180
Don't ever scare me
like that again.
350
00:20:29,180 --> 00:20:31,891
Well, I guess we're even.
351
00:20:31,891 --> 00:20:33,482
What are you going to do now?
352
00:20:33,482 --> 00:20:35,932
What I always do...
survive.
353
00:20:35,932 --> 00:20:38,610
Hey, we should get
together sometime.
354
00:20:38,610 --> 00:20:41,222
You know, to make nunchucks.
355
00:20:41,222 --> 00:20:42,520
Sweet.
356
00:20:45,036 --> 00:20:48,013
The rat symbolizes obviousness.