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The Simpsons S19E09
- Eternal Moonshine of the Simpson Mind -
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The capital of Montana is not "Hannah"
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Nobody steals Willie's breakfast!
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I must've really tied one on last night.
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No more drinking.
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6:00 A.M.
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Still early enough to sneak
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into bed and pretend I actually
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got home at 3:00 A.M.
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Huh?
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00:02:53,801 --> 00:02:54,922
Where's Marge?
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Hey, kids, have you
seen your mother?
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Or yourselves?
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Maggie?!
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Has anyone seen anyone?!
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Oh, of course,
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they must all be taking a family bath.
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Without me!
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Save some suds for...
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Daddy.
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Hey, boy know where the family is?
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Show me on MapQuest.
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Fine. Google Maps.
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What's going on?
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Why are you attacking me?
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Look, if this is about me
eating your heart pills,
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they shouldn't have made them
in Good 'N' Plenty colors.
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Moe, my family's gone,
my dog hates me,
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and I can't remember what
happened last night.
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Was I here?
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Was you ever.
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You came in saying you really
needed to forget something;
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so mixed you up the
most powerful drink I got
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the "Forget-Me-Shot."
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A "Forget-Me-Shot?" Never heard of it.
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Yeah, that means it worked.
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No one ever remembers.
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That's why I made this video
to explain the process.
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You start with a splash
of Jagermeister...
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- then add sloe gin...
- Got that.
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- Triple-Sec...
- Right.
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- Quadruple-Sec...
- Yeah.
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gunk from a dog's eye,
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Absolut Pickle...
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Mmm, pickle.
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...the red stripe from Aquafresh,
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and the funniest ingredient...
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the venom of the Louisiana Loboto-moth.
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Come on, sweetie.
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You stir it with a
home pregnancy test
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till it turns positive...
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And presto :
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the Forget-Me-Shot.
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Jeez, I don't look like that.
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The point is,
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this drink is the
ultimate brain bleacher.
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One swig wipes out the
last day of your life.
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Give me one of those forget-me drinks!
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I made a mistake I gotta wipe out.
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I was trying to do a
Don Rickles about Arabs,
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but it turned into a
Mel Gibson about Mexicans.
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Huh?
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What the hell am I doing here?
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I gotta get back to
the Latin Grammys.
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- There he is! Get him!
- Kill him!
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Hot-sauce his eyes!
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Oh, my God.
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Why would I want to wipe out my memory?!
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What horrible thing did I do?!
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You don't remember, huh?
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There was a domestic disturbance
at your address yesterday.
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Chief Wiggum!
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I remember seeing you...
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What's going on here, Simpson?
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Am I gonna need the zip strips?
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Everything's fine
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cupcakes and sprinkles.
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I see.
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And how did you get that?
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What gives, Simpson?
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Giving your wife an Irish kiss?
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No, I swear!
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It was my fault. I...
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I walked into a door.
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Walked into a door, huh?
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That is the lamest excuse I ever...
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All right, door!
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You're coming downtown!
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Marge had a black eye?
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I could never do something
like that.
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Could I?
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Why don't you ask the person
who filed the complaint?
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Not that I am authorized to
release that information...
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Flanders!
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Fine, it was Flanders.
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Now, since you know everything,
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who was Jack the Ripper?
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The queen's private surgeon!
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Flanders, why did you call
the cops last night?
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I had to--I heard a hubbub, Bub.
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What did I do?!
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I can't say for sure,
but as a Christian,
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I assume the worst.
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What happened in this room?!
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If only these walls could talk.
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People would pay to come
see my amazing talking walls,
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and I could use that money to...
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Hey, a memory!
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Stop! Homer, please!
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My eye!
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No, it can't be!
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I would never hurt Marge!
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I'm a good man!
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Yeah, yeah, me too!
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You know, doing this is
just confirming a
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stereotype for you Mexicans.
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I am from Costa Rica!
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And I should care because?
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Thank goodness you
come to visit me, son!
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I can't take one more
minute of this high school
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glee club pretending they
don't hate being here.
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Oh, what a night
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You know I didn't even know her name
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But I was never gonna be the same
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What a lady What a night...
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You'll eat our cookies,
but you won't look at us!
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Dad, I can't remember
what I did last night.
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Do you have any idea?
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You come to me
for help rememberin'?
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That's like asking your horse
to do your taxes,
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which I did back in 1998.
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I'm afraid I did something
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to make Marge and the kids leave me.
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Wait.
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I know someone who can help you
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a doctor who helps people
dig up old memories.
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Really?
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Oh, that's great, Dad.
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How can I ever repay you?
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Punch that orderly who takes
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sips out of my juice.
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Done.
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No, wait.
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That's the guy that
saved my life.
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Memory Recivery Institute
we do not do MRI's
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Mr. Simpson, I have built a device
that will enable
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you to explore your memories.
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The science was easy,
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but now I've got the hard part,
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coming up with a name.
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How about The Deja View-Master?
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Uh...
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Remembrance of things fast?
Hmm.
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The Remembererer?
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We don't have to come up with it now.
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These wonderful wrinkle-bags
are reliving their
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cherished memories of yesteryear.
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Ah, my first Christmas.
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Such great Chinese food.
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This is great!
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I'm finally gonna find
out how I ruined my family!
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Strap me in, nerd!
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To me, "nerd" stands for
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Not Even Remotely Dorky,
so thank you.
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Thank you for the compliment.
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Now you'll feel a slight pinch,
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followed by an extremely painful pinch,
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signaling that the
spike will begin boring
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into your skull three seconds later.
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Boring.
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Yes, that's right, boring.
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Ow!
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Ow!
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Ow!
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Three, two, one.
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What the hell?
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Your memory bubble and you
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"This bubble allows you to view
any past event from your life."
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Ah, it's got that new bubble smell.
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Aw, I landed in a pleasant memory.
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Look at happy me and playful them.
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And we're off!
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Now remember-steer into the sculptures.
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Snow sculpture contest
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Oh, I miss those by gone
days of earlier this week.
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But I'm needed in a darker place.
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Wha...?
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Those squeaks sound like couch springs
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grooving to the beat of love!
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Hmm?
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Homer!
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I wasn't expecting you.
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Hey, what's going on here?!
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Oh, Homer, I didn't want
you to find out this way.
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Another man...
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with my wife...
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in my house...
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on top of my TV Guide?!
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I got to find out who that guy is,
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but I need help.
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Someone like Bart,
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only smart.
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Lisa!
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Another me!
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You can watch the kids.
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00:11:08,945 --> 00:11:12,471
Lisa, I'm about to probe the most
shattering moment of my life.
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You want to join me?
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Might as well.
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You're getting this memory mixed
up with a commercial you saw.
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With new Synergy Wireless,
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night time minutes start at 6:30,
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and you get four free d-cast
downloads per month.
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00:11:23,758 --> 00:11:25,743
Synergy--
it's your call.
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00:11:26,158 --> 00:11:29,393
It's a beautiful morning
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00:11:32,456 --> 00:11:37,072
I think I'll go outside for a while...
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00:11:37,928 --> 00:11:39,541
Yo, Homer, can you take me to when were
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00:11:39,547 --> 00:11:40,991
ten to see if I can kick your butt?
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00:11:41,306 --> 00:11:42,251
Bring it on.
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00:11:46,078 --> 00:11:48,413
You're superior to me in every way!
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00:11:49,865 --> 00:11:52,591
Well, let's see how you do
against 20-year-old Homer.
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00:11:54,986 --> 00:11:56,571
What is it you want from me?
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00:11:56,738 --> 00:11:58,481
Money? Weed? D'oh!
223
00:11:59,077 --> 00:12:01,112
I'll teach you to beat up yester-me!
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00:12:08,976 --> 00:12:11,511
Dad, you just destroyed
your first kiss.
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Who was it with?
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00:12:12,777 --> 00:12:14,350
Uh... Apu.
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Right.
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00:12:23,506 --> 00:12:25,521
Kids, your mom is
with another man,
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00:12:25,675 --> 00:12:27,501
and I need you
to help me find out who he is.
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00:12:27,797 --> 00:12:30,333
Hmm. Is this really something
I should show you kids?
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00:12:30,486 --> 00:12:32,210
It's okay. We're not really your kids.
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We're just representations of
them that you created in your mind.
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00:12:35,576 --> 00:12:38,120
Really? Then if I created all this,
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00:12:38,335 --> 00:12:40,963
that means I can have pizza
anytime I want!
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00:12:42,516 --> 00:12:44,851
Hello. I'd like to order a pizza.
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35 minutes?!
237
00:12:50,445 --> 00:12:52,190
Hey, what's going on here?!
238
00:12:52,306 --> 00:12:53,903
See? That's where my memory stops.
239
00:12:54,366 --> 00:12:56,071
Who the heck is that guy?
240
00:12:56,245 --> 00:12:57,581
What if you just moved the bottle?
241
00:12:57,737 --> 00:12:59,753
All right. Let me just
get out of this bubble
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smoothly and elegantly.
243
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:09,801
How can I get my memory to work?
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00:13:12,257 --> 00:13:14,000
Declarative memory can be broken
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into two subsets:
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the episodic forms are stored
247
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in the neocortex,
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00:13:17,755 --> 00:13:19,213
while the semantic ones are...
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Oh, can that tuna!
250
00:13:20,317 --> 00:13:22,050
We can get your brain
to work the same way
251
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you always get the TV
to work --by hitting it.
252
00:13:33,515 --> 00:13:35,350
Hey, what's going on here?
253
00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:39,081
Oh, Homer, I didn't want you
to find out this way.
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00:13:40,956 --> 00:13:42,952
- Duffman!
- Duffman?
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00:13:43,737 --> 00:13:44,713
Duffman!
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00:13:45,167 --> 00:13:46,830
The mother of my children
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00:13:46,837 --> 00:13:48,963
with the reason for my children!
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00:13:49,136 --> 00:13:51,102
Stop, Homer! Please!
259
00:13:51,338 --> 00:13:53,150
I'm just giving it to your wife.
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She is gonna be sore tomorrow.
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00:13:55,616 --> 00:13:56,930
No!
262
00:13:58,117 --> 00:13:59,841
Your stupid invention made me
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00:13:59,846 --> 00:14:01,561
realize my life is worthless!
264
00:14:01,787 --> 00:14:04,230
Well, if you can't stand
the neural activity,
265
00:14:04,418 --> 00:14:06,072
stay out of the neural activator!
266
00:14:07,626 --> 00:14:10,591
So I did have butter
nut squash last night.
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00:14:13,096 --> 00:14:14,460
My wife left me.
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00:14:14,577 --> 00:14:17,492
I've done horrible things.
My family's gone.
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00:14:17,815 --> 00:14:19,493
My life is ruined.
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00:14:21,127 --> 00:14:23,291
Good-bye, cruel world!
271
00:14:25,956 --> 00:14:28,021
And good-bye, Cruller World.
272
00:14:28,156 --> 00:14:29,671
Bye, Homer!
273
00:14:31,685 --> 00:14:34,062
Suicide Bridge
in memory of governor Chester L. Suicide
274
00:14:36,976 --> 00:14:39,003
Are you my guardian angel?
275
00:14:39,985 --> 00:14:41,181
Yes, we are.
276
00:14:41,357 --> 00:14:43,050
Jump and we'll carry you to Heaven.
277
00:14:43,238 --> 00:14:46,601
Hey, aren't trolls supposed
to be under the bridge?
278
00:14:46,937 --> 00:14:48,150
Ha, ha, good-bye.
279
00:14:49,187 --> 00:14:50,701
Come on, what are you waiting for?
280
00:14:50,907 --> 00:14:53,230
We want to see if the splash
reaches the moon.
281
00:14:54,188 --> 00:14:55,682
- Good one.
- Wait a minute.
282
00:14:55,808 --> 00:14:57,882
If killing myself
would make you two happy,
283
00:14:58,005 --> 00:14:59,000
then I'm not gonna do it.
284
00:14:59,105 --> 00:15:00,873
Don't worry about our happiness.
285
00:15:01,008 --> 00:15:02,671
For once, think of yourself.
286
00:15:06,938 --> 00:15:08,770
My life's flashing before my eyes.
287
00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:13,343
A life well-lived.
288
00:16:13,675 --> 00:16:14,792
Until last night.
289
00:16:15,107 --> 00:16:17,540
I guess I'll have to
watch that now.
290
00:16:21,455 --> 00:16:23,270
What's going on here?!
291
00:16:23,445 --> 00:16:24,572
Oh, Homer,
292
00:16:24,697 --> 00:16:26,943
I didn't want you
to find out this way.
293
00:16:27,146 --> 00:16:29,943
We were planning
a surprise party for you.
294
00:16:30,125 --> 00:16:32,150
A surprise party?!
295
00:16:33,455 --> 00:16:35,651
This magic marker's running
out of ink.
296
00:16:37,495 --> 00:16:40,181
I'm sorry your surprise party
was spoiled.
297
00:16:40,346 --> 00:16:41,460
Are you kidding?
298
00:16:41,745 --> 00:16:43,312
The mother of my children
299
00:16:43,317 --> 00:16:45,310
with the reason for my children!
300
00:16:45,497 --> 00:16:47,780
This is gonna be the
greatest party ever!
301
00:16:48,267 --> 00:16:49,260
Oh, yeah!
302
00:16:49,517 --> 00:16:51,263
Duff beer is sponsoring the party,
303
00:16:51,437 --> 00:16:53,490
featuring new Duff Champagne
304
00:16:53,506 --> 00:16:55,190
the beer of champagnes!
305
00:16:55,565 --> 00:16:56,942
Oh, my God!
306
00:16:57,088 --> 00:16:59,963
It's like Christmas in December.
Let's celebrate now.
307
00:17:00,865 --> 00:17:02,811
Stop, Homer! Please!
308
00:17:03,798 --> 00:17:04,891
My eye!
309
00:17:06,936 --> 00:17:08,482
Don't worry, honey.
I'll get you an ice pack.
310
00:17:08,845 --> 00:17:09,882
Where's the ice pack?
311
00:17:10,087 --> 00:17:11,812
I'm just giving it to your wife.
312
00:17:12,066 --> 00:17:14,213
She is gonna be sore tomorrow.
313
00:17:16,088 --> 00:17:18,733
So Marge wasn't cheating on me;
314
00:17:18,867 --> 00:17:20,910
I never hit her; and my family
315
00:17:20,918 --> 00:17:23,091
is throwing me an awesome party.
316
00:17:24,487 --> 00:17:26,282
Thank God I figured it out
317
00:17:26,288 --> 00:17:28,292
before I did anything stupid.
318
00:17:30,488 --> 00:17:31,363
Oh, right.
319
00:17:36,698 --> 00:17:38,241
Oh, my God! I'm not dead!
320
00:17:40,986 --> 00:17:43,091
Homie, this is your party!
321
00:17:44,847 --> 00:17:46,092
This is great!
322
00:17:46,218 --> 00:17:48,311
I must be the first
gullible husband
323
00:17:48,398 --> 00:17:51,380
to overhear snippets
of surprise party planning
324
00:17:51,578 --> 00:17:54,373
and think it was my wife
having an affair.
325
00:17:59,995 --> 00:18:03,541
Keep it up, people.
The night is young!
326
00:18:05,097 --> 00:18:06,623
Um, it's 11:00.
327
00:18:06,826 --> 00:18:08,222
You want to pay for the extra hour?
328
00:18:08,405 --> 00:18:09,200
Okay.
329
00:18:10,995 --> 00:18:12,421
Par-tay, people!
330
00:18:12,845 --> 00:18:15,402
Geez, Homer, I can't believe
your plan actually worked.
331
00:18:15,528 --> 00:18:16,350
What plan?
332
00:18:16,505 --> 00:18:18,142
Your plan to make the surprise party
333
00:18:18,148 --> 00:18:19,372
a surprise again. Remember?
334
00:18:23,815 --> 00:18:26,181
Marge put so much work
into that party.
335
00:18:26,486 --> 00:18:28,491
The least I could do is be surprised.
336
00:18:28,787 --> 00:18:31,192
If only I could forget
what happened today.
337
00:18:31,398 --> 00:18:33,692
I got just the drink
to wipe your mind clean:
338
00:18:33,897 --> 00:18:34,891
the "Forget-Me-Shot."
339
00:18:35,098 --> 00:18:37,082
Fellas, if you got anything you
want to say to Homer
340
00:18:37,165 --> 00:18:39,061
that he'll never remember, say it now.
341
00:18:39,565 --> 00:18:40,812
Blue pants make you look fat.
342
00:18:40,915 --> 00:18:42,131
I've never learned your kids' names.
343
00:18:42,437 --> 00:18:43,290
Your yard is unkempt.
344
00:18:43,515 --> 00:18:44,981
It is obvious you're bald.
345
00:18:45,146 --> 00:18:46,313
Your thighs make noise.
346
00:18:46,485 --> 00:18:48,260
I find your small hands attractive.
347
00:18:48,495 --> 00:18:50,441
I've spit in every drink
I ever served you.
348
00:18:51,246 --> 00:18:52,461
Bottoms up!
349
00:18:53,926 --> 00:18:55,022
The only problem is,
350
00:18:55,155 --> 00:18:57,282
I'm sure to retain some image
of coming home
351
00:18:57,408 --> 00:18:59,032
and finding Duffman.
352
00:18:59,307 --> 00:19:01,761
No doubt I'll misconstrue
that as him
353
00:19:01,767 --> 00:19:04,282
placing a cuckold's horns
upon my brow.
354
00:19:04,507 --> 00:19:06,851
And that will make me
want to jump off a...
355
00:19:07,455 --> 00:19:08,270
For the love of God,
356
00:19:08,337 --> 00:19:10,352
make sure the party boat
has a moon bounce.
357
00:19:10,528 --> 00:19:11,401
Okay.
358
00:19:15,228 --> 00:19:17,052
I'm a genius.
359
00:19:17,287 --> 00:19:19,622
But there are still a few things
I don't understand.
360
00:19:19,855 --> 00:19:21,920
Like why did Marge lie to Chief Wiggum
361
00:19:21,926 --> 00:19:23,723
about how she got that black eye?
362
00:19:23,936 --> 00:19:26,721
Because I didn't want him
finding out about the party.
363
00:19:26,978 --> 00:19:28,423
I mean, he's okay,
364
00:19:28,657 --> 00:19:30,223
but you know he'd bring Sarah,
365
00:19:30,485 --> 00:19:32,622
and I just don't care for that woman.
366
00:19:32,908 --> 00:19:34,520
And when you pushed
me off the bridge,
367
00:19:34,776 --> 00:19:36,433
it's 'cause you knew about the party
368
00:19:36,436 --> 00:19:38,050
and wanted to make sure I got here.
369
00:19:38,426 --> 00:19:39,650
Yeah, that must be it.
370
00:19:39,957 --> 00:19:42,701
You know, there's an after-party
at the bottom of the ocean.
371
00:19:42,935 --> 00:19:44,601
This is good for two free drinks.
372
00:19:45,727 --> 00:19:47,970
The only thing that still
doesn't make sense is
373
00:19:48,155 --> 00:19:50,221
why the dog attacked me.
374
00:19:50,536 --> 00:19:51,650
Because you never feed him,
375
00:19:51,887 --> 00:19:53,530
walk him or let him out to pee.
376
00:19:56,486 --> 00:19:57,780
Who's an angry dog?
377
00:19:58,177 --> 00:19:59,481
Who's an angry dog?
378
00:19:59,678 --> 00:20:01,922
Now who wants a beer?
379
00:20:07,345 --> 00:20:09,501
To a man I'm happy to call
380
00:20:09,505 --> 00:20:11,910
my best friend, Homer Simpsno!
381
00:20:12,127 --> 00:20:13,070
Simpson!
382
00:20:13,248 --> 00:20:15,943
Dyslexia, Duffman's secret shame.
383
00:20:20,977 --> 00:20:22,313
Aren't you going to drink?
384
00:20:22,595 --> 00:20:26,111
No, this is a moment
I want to remember.
385
00:20:26,827 --> 00:20:33,711
I remember finding out about you...
386
00:20:36,996 --> 00:20:43,010
Every day my mind is all around you
387
00:20:45,825 --> 00:20:49,462
Looking out from my lonely room
388
00:20:49,745 --> 00:20:54,070
I give my love to you.