1 00:00:00,978 --> 00:00:05,978 The Simpsons - Series 19 Episode 7 - Husbands & Knives 2 00:00:06,078 --> 00:00:09,078 Subtitles by STS 3 00:01:20,878 --> 00:01:24,688 Lame lame lame lame have it - lame 4 00:01:24,788 --> 00:01:26,788 Superman dies Aquaman dies 5 00:01:26,888 --> 00:01:28,888 Casper dies Caveman Robin 6 00:01:28,988 --> 00:01:30,988 Black Robin Born-again Robin 7 00:01:31,088 --> 00:01:35,593 Whoa - the infamous Wolverine comic with pop-out claws 8 00:01:35,693 --> 00:01:38,413 Why was this so controversial... 9 00:01:42,358 --> 00:01:44,358 nice work DR Boo-hoo... 10 00:01:44,458 --> 00:01:46,958 your tears have smudged Wolverine's iconic sideburns 11 00:01:47,058 --> 00:01:49,438 Hence you must by this comic... 12 00:01:49,538 --> 00:01:52,863 and the cost of your innocent accident is..... 13 00:01:52,963 --> 00:01:54,963 twenty-five dollars please... 14 00:01:55,063 --> 00:01:57,063 but that's the money Yiayia Sophia... 15 00:01:57,163 --> 00:01:59,968 gave me for Greek Orthodox Easter 16 00:02:00,068 --> 00:02:02,363 I hate when they tell me things about themselves 17 00:02:02,463 --> 00:02:04,778 You should stop being so mean to us kids 18 00:02:04,878 --> 00:02:08,068 Well I suppose you could buy your comics somewhere else... 19 00:02:08,168 --> 00:02:11,483 maybe they sell comics at the dry cleaners... 20 00:02:11,583 --> 00:02:13,648 no, perhaps they sell comics at the mattress store... 21 00:02:13,748 --> 00:02:15,778 or perhaps you could buy your comics at... 22 00:02:15,878 --> 00:02:18,933 that new comic book store across the street 23 00:02:19,033 --> 00:02:21,158 Phillip K Dick it can't be... 24 00:02:21,258 --> 00:02:23,573 it's as if Superman moved to Gotham City... 25 00:02:23,673 --> 00:02:27,498 which he did in Worlds Finest Comics Number 94 26 00:02:27,598 --> 00:02:28,798 See... 27 00:02:28,898 --> 00:02:31,108 it was an imaginary story dreamt by Jimmy Olsen... 28 00:02:31,208 --> 00:02:34,053 after he was kicked in the head by Supergirl's horse Comet... 29 00:02:34,153 --> 00:02:35,353 it never really happened... 30 00:02:35,453 --> 00:02:38,683 none of these things ever really happen... 31 00:02:38,783 --> 00:02:40,783 get out of my store 32 00:02:42,383 --> 00:02:44,383 Grand Opening 33 00:02:47,683 --> 00:02:49,083 Hey word up you guys... 34 00:02:49,183 --> 00:02:51,183 how g-g-goes it... 35 00:02:51,283 --> 00:02:54,343 my name's Milo and this is Coolsville... 36 00:02:54,443 --> 00:02:57,443 now listen, before everyone chills with some sweet comic... 37 00:02:57,543 --> 00:03:00,623 everyone gets a free piece of japanese hard candy... 38 00:03:00,723 --> 00:03:02,403 one for you short kid in back... 39 00:03:02,503 --> 00:03:04,103 down low go long 40 00:03:04,203 --> 00:03:06,203 I got prawn 41 00:03:07,803 --> 00:03:09,803 I got miso 42 00:03:11,603 --> 00:03:13,603 I got Dolphin 43 00:03:14,603 --> 00:03:18,618 Now I hope you all like Korean pop covers of Tom Jones songs... 44 00:03:18,718 --> 00:03:21,523 cause they're about to be blasted 45 00:03:26,423 --> 00:03:33,423 Sings 'What's up Pussycat' in Korean 46 00:03:45,523 --> 00:03:47,523 Asterix. Tin-Tin. 47 00:03:47,623 --> 00:03:52,893 I heard these are only available in high school french classes 48 00:03:53,593 --> 00:03:54,793 Come on Snowy 49 00:03:54,893 --> 00:03:56,293 We must save the Belgian Ambassador... 50 00:03:56,393 --> 00:03:58,603 from the Black Orchid Gang 51 00:03:58,698 --> 00:04:01,333 What's that? a shot of ignition? 52 00:04:01,428 --> 00:04:03,428 zoot-a-loft. 53 00:04:03,928 --> 00:04:06,898 this castle is actually a four stage rocket... 54 00:04:06,998 --> 00:04:10,993 and it's headed straight for the Pompidou centre 55 00:04:13,298 --> 00:04:15,298 Oh no I ripped it 56 00:04:15,398 --> 00:04:17,398 Hey no worries little lady... 57 00:04:17,498 --> 00:04:19,879 these books are meant to be read and enjoyed... 58 00:04:19,979 --> 00:04:23,174 not hoarded and then sold when you get divorced. 59 00:04:23,274 --> 00:04:25,274 various expressions of wonderment form all... 60 00:04:25,374 --> 00:04:27,374 all right I get it... 61 00:04:27,474 --> 00:04:29,694 you're cool you're not mainstream... 62 00:04:29,794 --> 00:04:31,794 you wear a pork pie hat... 63 00:04:31,894 --> 00:04:33,894 mmmmmm pork pie... 64 00:04:34,394 --> 00:04:37,394 let's see what you know about super heroes 65 00:04:37,494 --> 00:04:39,374 Hey. I'm all about the capes 66 00:04:39,474 --> 00:04:40,774 Flame on... 67 00:04:40,874 --> 00:04:43,434 who's stronger the Thung or the Mulk and show you're work... 68 00:04:43,534 --> 00:04:45,534 woo hoo Head rush 69 00:04:45,634 --> 00:04:49,799 OK. Well the Mulk kicked a tidal wave into the sun 70 00:04:49,899 --> 00:04:54,609 Whereas the Thung gave a piggy back ride to the 1985 Chicago Bears 71 00:04:54,709 --> 00:04:56,709 Hoo boy that's a tough one 72 00:04:56,809 --> 00:04:58,809 What do you think? 73 00:04:58,909 --> 00:05:00,109 you want to know what I think? 74 00:05:00,209 --> 00:05:02,209 does Gallactus eat planets? 75 00:05:02,309 --> 00:05:03,809 of course I do 76 00:05:03,909 --> 00:05:06,309 Wow. I was in such a bad relationship with my... 77 00:05:06,409 --> 00:05:10,319 ex comic book guy I forgot how good it could be 78 00:05:10,419 --> 00:05:12,419 Mmmmmm 79 00:05:13,869 --> 00:05:16,504 Bye Bart enjoy your funny books 80 00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:21,814 Look Maggie I'm Wonder Woman 81 00:05:22,402 --> 00:05:27,717 Wo-ah I've lost my perfect 26-26-26 figure 82 00:05:28,217 --> 00:05:30,817 Never compare yourself to a stand E 83 00:05:30,917 --> 00:05:33,782 Hey you're way skinnier then a lot of super-heroes 84 00:05:33,882 --> 00:05:35,882 Girthquake, Labarella 85 00:05:35,982 --> 00:05:36,982 Kearney's mom 86 00:05:37,082 --> 00:05:38,482 Shut Up her depression medication... 87 00:05:38,582 --> 00:05:39,582 makes her bloated 88 00:05:39,682 --> 00:05:41,382 She's depressed because you're so lame 89 00:05:41,482 --> 00:05:43,482 Shut up. 90 00:05:44,882 --> 00:05:48,927 Woo, I better join the Gym before I go from hippy to hippo 91 00:05:49,027 --> 00:05:51,042 I wish my mom said cute things like that... 92 00:05:51,142 --> 00:05:52,542 she can't because she's depressed 93 00:05:52,642 --> 00:05:54,642 Shut up. 94 00:05:58,208 --> 00:06:01,488 look at all these alternative comic book creators 95 00:06:01,588 --> 00:06:02,588 Alan Moore 96 00:06:02,688 --> 00:06:04,388 Art Spiegleman 97 00:06:04,488 --> 00:06:06,488 Dan Clowes 98 00:06:06,688 --> 00:06:09,623 I've really identified with the girls in Ghost World... 99 00:06:09,723 --> 00:06:11,923 they made me feel like I wasn't so alone... 100 00:06:12,023 --> 00:06:13,823 yeah yeah whatever 101 00:06:13,923 --> 00:06:15,853 Do you know anyone who works at Batman... 102 00:06:15,953 --> 00:06:18,713 because I really want to draw Batman 103 00:06:18,813 --> 00:06:22,213 I'm awesome at utility belts check these out 104 00:06:22,313 --> 00:06:24,328 This is where the Batman keeps his money... 105 00:06:24,428 --> 00:06:26,428 in case he has to take the bus 106 00:06:26,528 --> 00:06:27,728 Uh huh 107 00:06:27,828 --> 00:06:30,228 Alan Moore, you wrote my favourite issues of 108 00:06:30,328 --> 00:06:31,728 Radioactive Man 109 00:06:31,828 --> 00:06:32,928 Oh really... 110 00:06:33,028 --> 00:06:35,928 so you liked that I made your favourite superhero... 111 00:06:36,028 --> 00:06:38,028 a heroin addicted jazz critic... 112 00:06:38,128 --> 00:06:39,428 who's not radioactive 113 00:06:39,528 --> 00:06:42,213 I don't read the words. I just like it when he punches people... 114 00:06:42,313 --> 00:06:46,573 how do you make his costume stick so close to his muscles 115 00:06:46,673 --> 00:06:47,873 Mr Moore 116 00:06:47,973 --> 00:06:51,073 Will you sign my DVD of Watchman Babies... 117 00:06:51,173 --> 00:06:53,873 which of the babies is your favourite... 118 00:06:53,973 --> 00:06:56,458 you see what those bloody corporations do? 119 00:06:56,558 --> 00:06:59,003 they take your ideas and they suck them... 120 00:06:59,103 --> 00:07:01,103 suck them like leeches until they've gotten... 121 00:07:01,203 --> 00:07:04,558 every last drop of the marrow from your bones 122 00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:07,718 Hey Tea-cup. Why don't you chill out? 123 00:07:08,348 --> 00:07:11,648 Very Well {laughs}... 124 00:07:11,748 --> 00:07:13,248 {sings} Oh Little Lulu 125 00:07:13,348 --> 00:07:18,068 I love yu-lu just the same haaaaa 126 00:07:19,448 --> 00:07:22,248 Attention comic book aficionados 127 00:07:22,348 --> 00:07:24,648 This man is not one of us 128 00:07:24,748 --> 00:07:27,298 He has a girlfriend {all gasp} 129 00:07:27,311 --> 00:07:30,881 My name's strawberry my purse is a lunchbox 130 00:07:30,978 --> 00:07:31,978 Now listen up... 131 00:07:32,078 --> 00:07:33,983 my wayward little fan boys 132 00:07:34,083 --> 00:07:36,428 I have the most wonderful news... 133 00:07:36,528 --> 00:07:39,748 my store now sells ninja weapons 134 00:07:39,848 --> 00:07:40,873 Whoa... 135 00:07:40,973 --> 00:07:44,328 you would sell weapons of the orient to children... 136 00:07:44,428 --> 00:07:45,428 that is weak 137 00:07:45,528 --> 00:07:47,528 Face it Fats Hasbeen this man is the... 138 00:07:47,628 --> 00:07:49,628 comic book guy our town deserves 139 00:07:49,728 --> 00:07:50,303 Very well 140 00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:52,853 I guess the mature thing to do is... 141 00:07:52,953 --> 00:07:54,953 {Screams} 142 00:07:59,828 --> 00:08:02,208 Oh No the store's in trouble 143 00:08:02,752 --> 00:08:05,642 League of Extraordinary Freelancers 144 00:08:05,752 --> 00:08:07,752 Activate 145 00:08:08,652 --> 00:08:11,327 Mouse is in the House 146 00:08:13,627 --> 00:08:16,262 How do you like this punchline? 147 00:08:23,327 --> 00:08:25,927 oooh L.A. 148 00:08:26,127 --> 00:08:28,762 This could be the gym for Me... 149 00:08:29,927 --> 00:08:31,952 you're gunna get so ripped here... 150 00:08:32,052 --> 00:08:34,727 we've got tummy tone with Sacha... 151 00:08:34,827 --> 00:08:36,867 power bounce with Zac D. 152 00:08:36,927 --> 00:08:38,927 Zen Abs with Zac G. 153 00:08:39,527 --> 00:08:43,862 and you've just gotta try mummy and me kickboxing... 154 00:08:53,888 --> 00:08:56,407 who thought walking could be so difficult... 155 00:08:56,507 --> 00:09:00,842 well I'm sure everyone else is having trouble too... 156 00:09:11,887 --> 00:09:14,947 hmmmm maybe I'll just hit the showers 157 00:09:19,762 --> 00:09:21,802 Marge, you missed a spot 158 00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:28,845 I wish there was a gym for us regular ladies 159 00:09:40,641 --> 00:09:42,641 Rules No Men. 160 00:09:42,741 --> 00:09:44,541 No cell phones No mirrors 161 00:09:44,641 --> 00:09:45,641 No Shame 162 00:09:45,741 --> 00:09:47,332 Marge, I wish you well... 163 00:09:47,432 --> 00:09:49,423 but why would women want to go to a gym... 164 00:09:49,523 --> 00:09:51,523 if there were no men there... 165 00:09:51,623 --> 00:09:54,088 watching the and judging them 166 00:09:57,423 --> 00:09:58,923 We're gunna be rich... 167 00:09:59,023 --> 00:10:01,320 we can finally start a family 168 00:10:01,420 --> 00:10:02,716 We have a family... 169 00:10:02,816 --> 00:10:04,816 a better one 170 00:10:08,116 --> 00:10:10,116 Switch stations 171 00:10:11,516 --> 00:10:13,516 I love this gym... 172 00:10:13,616 --> 00:10:14,616 me too 173 00:10:14,716 --> 00:10:18,751 Finally an exercise bike for women of a certain age 174 00:10:18,851 --> 00:10:22,951 Jurassic aha ha ha ha 175 00:10:23,751 --> 00:10:26,941 Mum every workout appointment is booked up for months 176 00:10:27,041 --> 00:10:29,241 We'll have to open a second Shapes 177 00:10:29,341 --> 00:10:33,166 We just need to find a vacant rental property 178 00:10:37,966 --> 00:10:41,601 I can't believe the labour board is shutting me down... 179 00:10:41,701 --> 00:10:43,601 you lock your workers in at night 180 00:10:43,701 --> 00:10:46,901 It's so they can't tell their stories 181 00:10:47,401 --> 00:10:49,401 Mr Krusty came to my village 182 00:10:49,501 --> 00:10:51,101 He said he would marry me 183 00:10:51,201 --> 00:10:54,176 No ring just fill apple pies all day 184 00:11:06,276 --> 00:11:08,501 Today's guest created a womens only gym... 185 00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:11,276 that's taken the tri-county area by storm 186 00:11:11,376 --> 00:11:14,076 Marge Simpson 187 00:11:18,476 --> 00:11:21,306 Marge, I thank you for creating Shapes... 188 00:11:21,406 --> 00:11:24,551 and uh my boyfriend thanks you too... 189 00:11:26,296 --> 00:11:29,206 when is Straightman going to pop the question? 190 00:11:29,306 --> 00:11:30,833 uh uh............. 191 00:11:30,933 --> 00:11:34,126 y'all getting german cuckoo clocks... 192 00:11:34,326 --> 00:11:35,826 you're getting a cuckoo clock... 193 00:11:35,926 --> 00:11:37,926 and you're getting a cuckoo clock... 194 00:11:38,026 --> 00:11:40,026 and you're getting a cuckoo clock... 195 00:11:40,126 --> 00:11:42,931 and you're getting a cuckoo clock 196 00:11:48,526 --> 00:11:52,946 Oh yeh Marge, I love these business trips of yours... 197 00:11:53,291 --> 00:11:55,841 the T.V. remote isn't nailed on... 198 00:11:55,941 --> 00:12:00,871 my whole life I've never been in a hotel that trusted me... 199 00:12:08,216 --> 00:12:10,506 hors d'oeuvres, big fancy desserts... 200 00:12:10,606 --> 00:12:13,066 and my wife is paying for everything... 201 00:12:13,166 --> 00:12:15,971 now I know why pimps are so happy... 202 00:12:16,071 --> 00:12:19,641 yep nothing beats living on 'wife support' 203 00:12:19,741 --> 00:12:21,741 I hear that... 204 00:12:22,541 --> 00:12:24,276 yo guys, come meet a new husband... 205 00:12:24,376 --> 00:12:26,201 hey how yo doin? I'm Homer... 206 00:12:26,301 --> 00:12:29,786 my wife invented a gym for 'regular women' 207 00:12:30,686 --> 00:12:34,371 my wife invested Sky Pills, she mixed vitamins with alka-seltzer... 208 00:12:34,471 --> 00:12:35,671 and pretended it was medicine 209 00:12:35,771 --> 00:12:37,171 I pay ten dollars a tube for those... 210 00:12:37,271 --> 00:12:38,671 that's why I drive a Bentley 211 00:12:38,771 --> 00:12:41,271 Yep. I haven't decided what kind of new car to get... 212 00:12:41,371 --> 00:12:43,356 you better decide soon as I have a feeling... 213 00:12:43,456 --> 00:12:45,841 your wife will also be getting a new model... 214 00:12:45,941 --> 00:12:47,741 yeh she'll be trading up... 215 00:12:47,841 --> 00:12:50,741 and they're not talking about cars... 216 00:12:50,841 --> 00:12:52,781 are you sure they're not talking about cars? 217 00:12:52,881 --> 00:12:54,381 because those are car words 218 00:12:54,481 --> 00:12:56,481 Homer, we're all second husbands... 219 00:12:56,581 --> 00:12:58,666 as soon as our wives hit it big they dumped the fat old guys... 220 00:12:58,766 --> 00:13:01,231 they were with and married us 221 00:13:02,546 --> 00:13:03,846 Marge won't dump me 222 00:13:03,946 --> 00:13:07,686 I'm the anchor that keeps her weighed down... 223 00:13:07,731 --> 00:13:08,831 here's how it starts... 224 00:13:08,931 --> 00:13:10,231 she gets a total make-over... 225 00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:12,016 then she starts wearing fancy new clothes... 226 00:13:12,116 --> 00:13:15,596 then she stops wanting to tell you about her day... 227 00:13:15,696 --> 00:13:17,836 here's how you know she's really about to go... 228 00:13:17,936 --> 00:13:20,481 your wife seems happy and full of life... 229 00:13:20,581 --> 00:13:22,581 that will never happen 230 00:13:24,781 --> 00:13:26,781 Marge. Marge. 231 00:13:29,881 --> 00:13:30,981 the makeover... 232 00:13:31,081 --> 00:13:34,736 oh my god the prophecy is being fulfilled... 233 00:13:36,381 --> 00:13:39,061 um so tell me about your day... 234 00:13:39,161 --> 00:13:42,041 oh you don't want to hear about my boring old day 235 00:13:42,141 --> 00:13:43,341 I do. I do. 236 00:13:43,441 --> 00:13:46,166 well the first inspirational speech of the day... 237 00:13:46,266 --> 00:13:48,796 was by the woman who climbed Mt Everest... 238 00:13:48,896 --> 00:13:50,896 and got everyone else killed. 239 00:13:50,996 --> 00:13:53,431 hey the networks are different channels in this city 240 00:13:53,531 --> 00:13:55,916 It's O.K. I don't care that you don't care... 241 00:13:56,016 --> 00:13:58,016 go watch your thing... 242 00:13:59,616 --> 00:14:02,166 are you happy and full of life 243 00:14:02,266 --> 00:14:04,266 I sure am 244 00:14:19,966 --> 00:14:21,566 Marge, now that you're rich... 245 00:14:21,666 --> 00:14:24,811 you really should get rid of that bag 246 00:14:25,311 --> 00:14:28,256 Really' but I'm so used to my old one 247 00:14:28,356 --> 00:14:31,396 Old one? They're convincing Marge to dump me 248 00:14:31,496 --> 00:14:34,251 Oh it's easy I get a new one every two years... 249 00:14:34,351 --> 00:14:35,351 from Italy... 250 00:14:35,451 --> 00:14:38,001 you would love a big black one 251 00:14:39,051 --> 00:14:41,091 Marge, get away from them... 252 00:14:41,191 --> 00:14:42,756 what's gotten into you? 253 00:14:42,856 --> 00:14:46,341 I'm going to the successful ladies room... 254 00:14:49,586 --> 00:14:50,766 you guys have got to help me 255 00:14:50,866 --> 00:14:54,241 If Marge leaves I'll have nothing except my many friends... 256 00:14:54,341 --> 00:14:56,886 and half the fortune she is now making... 257 00:14:56,986 --> 00:14:58,511 and will continue to make 258 00:14:58,611 --> 00:15:00,611 Homer I'm going to let you in on a secret 259 00:15:00,711 --> 00:15:02,511 I'm a first husband 260 00:15:02,611 --> 00:15:04,651 I used to look like this 261 00:15:05,577 --> 00:15:07,377 What's your secret? 262 00:15:07,477 --> 00:15:08,477 oh there's no secret 263 00:15:08,577 --> 00:15:09,777 Just hard work uh-huh... 264 00:15:09,877 --> 00:15:11,877 exercise two hours a day O.K. 265 00:15:11,977 --> 00:15:13,977 keep up with the latest fashions Fashions... 266 00:15:14,077 --> 00:15:16,857 and of course cut out all fatty foods and alcohol... 267 00:15:16,957 --> 00:15:18,657 uh-huh uh-huh got it 268 00:15:18,757 --> 00:15:22,837 I know just what it will take to hang onto Marge 269 00:15:27,937 --> 00:15:29,937 Mr Simpson let me outline... 270 00:15:30,037 --> 00:15:33,502 the gastric bypass surgery procedure for you O.K. 271 00:15:33,602 --> 00:15:35,602 we put the band around your stomach... 272 00:15:35,702 --> 00:15:38,237 so that no solid food may enter... 273 00:15:38,337 --> 00:15:40,337 you see just like so 274 00:15:40,422 --> 00:15:43,022 It's a very very serious operation... 275 00:15:43,122 --> 00:15:46,492 you should only undergo it as a last resort... 276 00:15:46,592 --> 00:15:47,852 please doc. I know I'm not the... 277 00:15:47,952 --> 00:15:49,332 greatest looking guy in the world... 278 00:15:49,432 --> 00:15:52,522 but I took care of my family and that used to be enough... 279 00:15:52,622 --> 00:15:54,622 but not anymore... 280 00:15:54,722 --> 00:15:56,022 very well. If you wish... 281 00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:58,502 we can perform the procedure in the office today. 282 00:15:58,602 --> 00:16:00,862 and I know how I can knock myself out 283 00:16:00,962 --> 00:16:02,962 I'll look at your bill 284 00:16:03,062 --> 00:16:06,052 Hmm I guess considering all the training you've received... 285 00:16:06,152 --> 00:16:07,552 this is quite reasonable 286 00:16:07,652 --> 00:16:10,797 I've never seen anything so reasonable 287 00:16:10,897 --> 00:16:13,447 It's the bargain of a lifetime 288 00:16:16,247 --> 00:16:17,927 Dad are you O.K. 289 00:16:18,027 --> 00:16:21,357 I see food on your plate instead of blurring motions 290 00:16:21,457 --> 00:16:24,857 Kids your daddy underwent a special procedure... 291 00:16:24,957 --> 00:16:27,627 so he can be more attractive to your mother... 292 00:16:27,727 --> 00:16:29,227 you had your hotdog plumped 293 00:16:29,327 --> 00:16:31,962 No. I had my stomach stapled... 294 00:16:50,827 --> 00:16:54,327 oh all food tastes like barf now 295 00:16:57,027 --> 00:16:59,027 Homey I'm back... 296 00:16:59,127 --> 00:17:01,127 [Marge Gasps] 297 00:17:03,127 --> 00:17:05,427 Welcome home Marge 298 00:17:05,827 --> 00:17:08,292 You remembered I like romance... 299 00:17:08,392 --> 00:17:10,497 a smart successful woman like you... 300 00:17:10,597 --> 00:17:12,497 deserves the very best... 301 00:17:12,597 --> 00:17:15,172 you also remembered I like flattery... 302 00:17:15,272 --> 00:17:17,567 do you like guys who are... 303 00:17:17,772 --> 00:17:19,272 attractive 304 00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:22,072 Homey, you look good... 305 00:17:22,172 --> 00:17:23,872 all for you baby... 306 00:17:23,972 --> 00:17:25,972 let me get a good look at you... 307 00:17:26,072 --> 00:17:28,872 uh uh woah woah slow down sexy beast... 308 00:17:28,972 --> 00:17:31,572 why don't you take some time to savor the front... 309 00:17:31,672 --> 00:17:33,172 what are you hiding from me? 310 00:17:33,272 --> 00:17:35,272 is it chocolate 311 00:17:35,272 --> 00:17:36,672 It used to be... 312 00:17:36,772 --> 00:17:39,832 woah - those buns are poppin fresh... 313 00:17:39,862 --> 00:17:43,602 yeah, I'm going to turn off the lights now... 314 00:17:44,247 --> 00:17:46,332 and I'll just fold this old sweaty blanket... 315 00:17:46,432 --> 00:17:48,727 and put it in the closet... 316 00:17:49,032 --> 00:17:51,032 ow ow ow ow ow ow 317 00:17:51,532 --> 00:17:54,597 Doctor, I'm embarrassed to show my body to my wife... 318 00:17:54,697 --> 00:17:56,757 and it's all because of your surgery... 319 00:17:56,857 --> 00:17:59,632 you want me to unstaple your stomach... 320 00:17:59,732 --> 00:18:03,042 no I want you to give me every other surgery you have... 321 00:18:03,142 --> 00:18:04,432 so I can look good... 322 00:18:04,532 --> 00:18:06,742 and can you call it an aortic valve replacement... 323 00:18:06,842 --> 00:18:08,342 so my insurance will cover it... 324 00:18:08,442 --> 00:18:10,442 no problem 325 00:18:10,542 --> 00:18:12,642 O.K. count backwards from ten... 326 00:18:12,742 --> 00:18:15,782 fine I admit it I'm drunk... 327 00:18:20,482 --> 00:18:22,477 and so to honour her success 328 00:18:22,577 --> 00:18:24,272 I bestow upon Marge Simpson... 329 00:18:24,372 --> 00:18:28,197 this $100 gift card to sweat pants etcetera... 330 00:18:28,757 --> 00:18:31,707 did someone order a superstud? 331 00:18:32,407 --> 00:18:35,532 oh my implants feel itchy... 332 00:18:35,632 --> 00:18:37,552 yes I was out of silicone rubber... 333 00:18:37,652 --> 00:18:40,032 so I used rolled up socks... 334 00:18:41,077 --> 00:18:42,377 [crowd: gasps in horror]... 335 00:18:42,477 --> 00:18:43,877 he's a monster... 336 00:18:43,977 --> 00:18:45,977 pitchforks everyone... 337 00:18:46,077 --> 00:18:49,477 monster, monster monster... 338 00:18:49,577 --> 00:18:51,577 monster monster... 339 00:18:54,577 --> 00:18:56,577 cut his heart out... 340 00:19:05,077 --> 00:19:08,047 listen Homer I've got to be honest with you... 341 00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:10,057 you better not make me cry... 342 00:19:10,157 --> 00:19:12,322 cause I don't know where my tear ducts are anymore 343 00:19:12,422 --> 00:19:15,597 I appreciate you trying to become more attractive for me... 344 00:19:15,697 --> 00:19:17,097 but the truth is 345 00:19:17,197 --> 00:19:20,087 I'm way too successful for you now 346 00:19:20,287 --> 00:19:23,222 I'm getting me a trophy husband 347 00:19:26,922 --> 00:19:29,867 I don't want to live without you Marge 348 00:19:29,967 --> 00:19:31,967 O.K. 349 00:19:36,167 --> 00:19:38,167 Huh? huh? what? hey. 350 00:19:39,567 --> 00:19:41,347 why do I look like me again? 351 00:19:41,447 --> 00:19:44,912 the doctor called me about all the crazy surgeries you wanted... 352 00:19:45,012 --> 00:19:46,412 and I said NO. 353 00:19:46,512 --> 00:19:48,412 but I did have him unstaple your stomach... 354 00:19:48,512 --> 00:19:52,082 and turn you back into the sweet man I love 355 00:19:52,182 --> 00:19:54,182 It was all a dream? 356 00:19:54,282 --> 00:19:55,382 I never became a hideous monster? 357 00:19:55,482 --> 00:19:57,552 the only person who thinks you're a monster... 358 00:19:57,652 --> 00:20:01,307 is the one who had to give you a sponge bath... 359 00:20:01,407 --> 00:20:03,932 and dad I hope you learned something from this 360 00:20:04,032 --> 00:20:05,232 I sure have... 361 00:20:05,332 --> 00:20:07,312 plastic surgery is a mistake... 362 00:20:07,412 --> 00:20:10,397 because it hasn't been perfected to where you look really good... 363 00:20:10,497 --> 00:20:12,802 when it is everyone should get it 364 00:20:12,902 --> 00:20:14,902 Amen... 365 00:20:16,902 --> 00:20:19,967 listen Marge, I've been wondering all these years... 366 00:20:20,067 --> 00:20:23,267 what is it about me that you find so irresistible? 367 00:20:23,367 --> 00:20:25,687 lets face it you could do better... 368 00:20:25,787 --> 00:20:27,787 well maybe I could... 369 00:20:27,887 --> 00:20:29,387 but every time I look at you 370 00:20:29,487 --> 00:20:33,397 I see the same adorable boy I fell in love with... 371 00:20:33,497 --> 00:20:35,497 ooohhh... 372 00:20:35,497 --> 00:20:38,512 well there's nothing like a happy ending 373 00:20:38,612 --> 00:20:39,912 Holy Heavens. 374 00:20:40,012 --> 00:20:42,857 is that a meteor heading for the earth... 375 00:20:42,957 --> 00:20:45,137 maybe but tonight there's a benefit... 376 00:20:45,237 --> 00:20:48,057 for underpaid comic book artists of the 40's and 50's 377 00:20:48,157 --> 00:20:50,157 to the cashbar