1 00:00:21,765 --> 00:00:22,785 Hello! 2 00:00:49,881 --> 00:00:52,049 Hah! 3 00:00:52,117 --> 00:00:53,417 Ooh! 4 00:01:04,762 --> 00:01:06,029 D'oh! 5 00:01:16,506 --> 00:01:18,040 Draw me some beer. 6 00:01:18,108 --> 00:01:21,510 ♪ The Simpsons 21x22 ♪ The Bob Next Door Original Air Date on May 16, 2010 7 00:01:22,014 --> 00:01:26,016 -- Sync, corrected by elderman -- -- for www.addic7ed.com -- 8 00:01:30,687 --> 00:01:33,489 People of Springfield, this town is in the worst 9 00:01:33,556 --> 00:01:35,257 financial meltdown we've ever seen. 10 00:01:35,325 --> 00:01:38,127 No longer can we cook the books and fudge the numbers. 11 00:01:38,194 --> 00:01:40,162 Mmm. 12 00:01:40,230 --> 00:01:41,396 This is serious. 13 00:01:41,464 --> 00:01:43,298 Pay attention. 14 00:01:47,937 --> 00:01:49,905 Oh, yeah... 15 00:01:49,973 --> 00:01:51,607 And so, it is with regret 16 00:01:51,674 --> 00:01:53,709 I announce the following cost-cutting measures: 17 00:01:53,776 --> 00:01:56,311 eliminating dead animal pickup... 18 00:02:05,155 --> 00:02:08,390 ...dramatic cutbacks in our education budget... 19 00:02:09,792 --> 00:02:11,460 Good morning, children. 20 00:02:11,528 --> 00:02:13,395 Today, we are instituting shortened school hours. 21 00:02:13,463 --> 00:02:14,596 How shortened? 22 00:02:14,664 --> 00:02:15,898 Take 'em home, Otto. 23 00:02:17,700 --> 00:02:19,535 ...and we have released 24 00:02:19,602 --> 00:02:21,436 all low-level criminals from our prisons. 25 00:02:37,554 --> 00:02:40,289 Spit the grapes back in with the others. 26 00:02:43,860 --> 00:02:45,427 Homie, slow down. 27 00:02:45,495 --> 00:02:46,695 Why should I? 28 00:02:46,763 --> 00:02:48,463 The city's broke. 29 00:02:48,531 --> 00:02:50,399 They can't afford to enforce their precious laws. 30 00:02:55,038 --> 00:02:56,438 How fast were they going, Lou? 31 00:02:56,506 --> 00:02:57,739 I don't know, Chief. 32 00:02:57,807 --> 00:02:59,241 We can't afford a radar gun, 33 00:02:59,309 --> 00:03:00,442 so we're just using a thermos 34 00:03:00,510 --> 00:03:02,110 on top of a hose handle. 35 00:03:02,178 --> 00:03:04,179 Well, it's better than my pistol. 36 00:03:04,247 --> 00:03:05,681 Hey, hey, uh, that Ralphie's 37 00:03:05,748 --> 00:03:08,383 getting to be a pretty fine artist. 38 00:03:08,451 --> 00:03:09,718 I drew it. 39 00:03:09,786 --> 00:03:11,987 Hmm. Mm-hm. 40 00:03:24,467 --> 00:03:26,435 Another Springfield family 41 00:03:26,502 --> 00:03:29,137 moves to Detroit to find a better life. 42 00:03:29,205 --> 00:03:31,940 Now that it's empty, who's going to buy their house? 43 00:03:32,008 --> 00:03:34,243 What if someone moves in with two Barts? 44 00:03:34,310 --> 00:03:36,845 Or four teenage Barts? 45 00:03:38,748 --> 00:03:41,149 Eh, at least they're learning their fractions. 46 00:03:50,693 --> 00:03:52,961 What's that delicious smell? 47 00:03:53,029 --> 00:03:54,463 Cookies! 48 00:03:54,530 --> 00:03:56,265 Mmm. 49 00:03:56,332 --> 00:03:58,233 Stop that sniffing. It's not for you. 50 00:03:58,301 --> 00:04:01,303 They're making the house next door smell like cookies 51 00:04:01,371 --> 00:04:03,805 so people will subconsciously want to buy it. 52 00:04:03,873 --> 00:04:05,707 Oh, come on. 53 00:04:05,775 --> 00:04:07,609 What kind of big, fat moron would fall for... 54 00:04:07,677 --> 00:04:08,977 Cookies! 55 00:04:09,045 --> 00:04:10,479 So delicious. Must buy house. 56 00:04:10,546 --> 00:04:11,880 Homer, no! 57 00:04:11,948 --> 00:04:13,915 Marge, get loan preapproved. 58 00:04:13,983 --> 00:04:15,183 Offer over asking. 59 00:04:15,251 --> 00:04:17,653 Waive inspections. Two-day escrow! 60 00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:20,322 Initial the radon disclosure. 61 00:04:20,390 --> 00:04:21,957 And done. 62 00:04:22,025 --> 00:04:24,026 Sorry. Someone else has bought the house. 63 00:04:24,093 --> 00:04:27,095 But my loan has already been sold in pieces to banks, 64 00:04:27,163 --> 00:04:29,898 hedge funds and municipalities across the globe. 65 00:04:34,370 --> 00:04:36,071 Death to Homer! 66 00:04:36,139 --> 00:04:37,939 At least we'll always have Beowulf. 67 00:04:38,007 --> 00:04:39,041 That's not us. 68 00:04:39,108 --> 00:04:40,676 Oh, no! 69 00:04:41,844 --> 00:04:43,278 A credenza? 70 00:04:44,547 --> 00:04:46,448 Credenza?! 71 00:04:47,684 --> 00:04:49,785 Lowboy? Sideboard? 72 00:04:49,852 --> 00:04:51,987 Portmanteau? 73 00:04:52,055 --> 00:04:53,455 Mom, it's so superficial to judge 74 00:04:53,523 --> 00:04:56,758 our new neighbor based on his furniture. 75 00:04:56,826 --> 00:04:59,361 He drives a hybrid! 76 00:04:59,429 --> 00:05:01,296 He's got koi! 77 00:05:02,899 --> 00:05:04,566 And where there's exotic fish, 78 00:05:04,634 --> 00:05:05,967 there's got to be a... 79 00:05:06,035 --> 00:05:07,569 Water feature. 80 00:05:07,637 --> 00:05:09,471 Dames. 81 00:05:09,539 --> 00:05:12,708 Well, I'm gonna go introduce myself Bart Simpson-style. 82 00:05:14,344 --> 00:05:15,644 Yo. Bart Simpson. 83 00:05:15,712 --> 00:05:17,179 No doubt you read about me 84 00:05:17,246 --> 00:05:19,247 in your nuisance neighbor disclosure. 85 00:05:19,315 --> 00:05:20,382 SIDESHOW BOB VOICE: Hello, Bart. 86 00:05:20,450 --> 00:05:21,683 Huh? Say that again. 87 00:05:21,751 --> 00:05:23,685 Hello, Bart. 88 00:05:23,753 --> 00:05:24,686 Hello, Bart. 89 00:05:24,754 --> 00:05:25,687 Hello, Bart. 90 00:05:25,755 --> 00:05:27,022 Hello, Bart! 91 00:05:27,090 --> 00:05:29,291 Hello, Bart. 92 00:05:29,359 --> 00:05:31,326 Hello, BART. 93 00:05:32,395 --> 00:05:33,962 Sideshow Bob! 94 00:05:34,030 --> 00:05:35,130 Side what whom? 95 00:05:44,125 --> 00:05:46,326 Man, you're good with the tools when you want to be. 96 00:05:46,394 --> 00:05:47,761 Why on earth do you think 97 00:05:47,828 --> 00:05:50,196 that harmless-looking man is Sideshow Bob? 98 00:05:50,264 --> 00:05:52,499 I know he doesn't look like him, 99 00:05:52,566 --> 00:05:54,768 but I'll never forget that voice. 100 00:05:54,835 --> 00:05:57,737 A lot of people sound like Sideshow Bob. 101 00:05:57,805 --> 00:05:59,639 Like Frasier on Cheers. 102 00:05:59,707 --> 00:06:01,741 Or Frasier on Frasier. 103 00:06:01,809 --> 00:06:04,911 Or Lieutenant Commander Tom Dodge in Down Periscope. 104 00:06:04,979 --> 00:06:07,213 Look, I'm telling you, no matter who he says he is, 105 00:06:07,281 --> 00:06:09,282 he's really Sideshow Bob. 106 00:06:09,350 --> 00:06:11,785 Honey, his name is Walt Warren, 107 00:06:11,852 --> 00:06:13,787 and he's a very nice man. 108 00:06:13,854 --> 00:06:15,455 He stopped me from driving away 109 00:06:15,523 --> 00:06:17,357 with my coffee cup on top of the car. 110 00:06:17,425 --> 00:06:18,792 Ah. 111 00:06:18,859 --> 00:06:20,393 Really? Hmm. 112 00:06:20,461 --> 00:06:21,961 Maybe I... 113 00:06:22,029 --> 00:06:24,264 Sideshow Bob! 114 00:06:31,038 --> 00:06:32,939 Stupid kid, fooled by a silhouette. 115 00:06:35,443 --> 00:06:36,576 Ooh. 116 00:06:38,279 --> 00:06:39,979 Eh... 117 00:06:40,047 --> 00:06:42,215 Ice cream?! 118 00:06:42,283 --> 00:06:45,452 Oh, nothing is ever boobs or ice cream. 119 00:06:49,290 --> 00:06:51,224 I'll prove I'm not crazy. 120 00:06:51,292 --> 00:06:53,226 Sideshow Bob could never resist singing along 121 00:06:53,294 --> 00:06:55,495 to a Gilbert and Sullivan operetta. 122 00:06:55,563 --> 00:06:57,063 Who am I again? 123 00:06:57,131 --> 00:06:58,765 Yum Yum. I'm Peep-bo. 124 00:07:00,167 --> 00:07:02,635 Mom, Dad, I got the lead! 125 00:07:02,703 --> 00:07:04,737 And a one, and a two, and a... 126 00:07:04,805 --> 00:07:06,539 ♪ Three little maids from school are we ♪ 127 00:07:06,607 --> 00:07:08,475 ♪ Pert as a schoolgirl, well can be ♪ 128 00:07:08,542 --> 00:07:10,477 ♪ Filled to the brim with a girlish glee ♪ 129 00:07:10,544 --> 00:07:12,579 ♪ Three little maids from school. ♪ 130 00:07:12,646 --> 00:07:14,114 Uh-oh, Bart. 131 00:07:14,181 --> 00:07:16,282 Who will sing the next verse? 132 00:07:16,350 --> 00:07:18,351 We need a third maid. 133 00:07:18,419 --> 00:07:21,488 Maybe someone will step in and help. 134 00:07:21,555 --> 00:07:23,923 ♪ One little maid is a bride, Yum Yum ♪ 135 00:07:23,991 --> 00:07:25,892 ♪ Two little maids in attendance come ♪ 136 00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:27,694 ♪ Three little maids ♪ 137 00:07:27,761 --> 00:07:29,496 ♪ Three little maids ♪ 138 00:07:29,563 --> 00:07:31,397 ♪ Three little maids... ♪ 139 00:07:31,465 --> 00:07:33,333 Sorry, gentlemen. 140 00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:35,869 I'm not a fan of that particular style of music. 141 00:07:35,936 --> 00:07:39,239 My radio dial never strays from 89.4 "The Spur." 142 00:07:39,306 --> 00:07:40,874 It is a good station, Bart, 143 00:07:40,941 --> 00:07:42,308 what with the Morning Cattle Drive 144 00:07:42,376 --> 00:07:44,277 and Armadillo Mike in the afternoon. 145 00:07:44,345 --> 00:07:46,179 And nothing keeps me informed 146 00:07:46,247 --> 00:07:49,115 like Rodeo Rick's Ne Roundup 147 00:07:49,183 --> 00:07:50,483 every hour on the... 148 00:07:50,551 --> 00:07:52,819 Shut up. 149 00:07:52,887 --> 00:07:56,222 I just want to say, I've not only found new neighbors, 150 00:07:56,290 --> 00:07:58,291 but gained new friends. 151 00:07:58,359 --> 00:08:03,029 And from now on, Wi-Fi in this neighborhood is on me. 152 00:08:04,932 --> 00:08:07,433 Ooh, that book I ordered is going to be delayed. 153 00:08:11,238 --> 00:08:13,173 All right, Walt Warren. 154 00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:15,475 Let's see who you really are. 155 00:08:15,543 --> 00:08:16,776 Harmless World, 156 00:08:16,844 --> 00:08:18,077 Mild Manners, 157 00:08:18,145 --> 00:08:19,546 Not Mad Magazine, 158 00:08:19,613 --> 00:08:20,847 Nap Fancy, 159 00:08:20,915 --> 00:08:22,315 Calm, Comfortable, 160 00:08:22,383 --> 00:08:23,983 a "Cuddly Puppies" calendar. 161 00:08:24,051 --> 00:08:27,053 Aw, little guy can't get out of the pumpkin. 162 00:08:27,121 --> 00:08:29,289 There must be something here. 163 00:08:29,356 --> 00:08:32,025 Something, something, something. 164 00:08:32,092 --> 00:08:33,193 Bart? 165 00:08:33,260 --> 00:08:34,894 What are you doing? 166 00:08:34,962 --> 00:08:36,229 You're indoors at an outdoor party. 167 00:08:36,297 --> 00:08:37,730 Walt is Sideshow Bob, 168 00:08:37,798 --> 00:08:39,332 and I'm going to prove it. 169 00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:41,534 Look. Who needs a knife this big? 170 00:08:41,602 --> 00:08:44,237 It's probably a deboner. 171 00:08:44,305 --> 00:08:46,839 Boner. 172 00:08:46,907 --> 00:08:48,708 Mom, I'm scared. 173 00:08:48,776 --> 00:08:52,979 I can see there's only one way to settle this once and for all. 174 00:08:55,616 --> 00:08:57,317 Okay ma'am, Sideshow Bob's cell 175 00:08:57,384 --> 00:08:59,118 is all the way at the end. 176 00:08:59,186 --> 00:09:01,788 Walk fast and don't call attention to yourself. 177 00:09:01,855 --> 00:09:04,857 Pretty lady in a strapless dress coming through! 178 00:09:04,925 --> 00:09:06,426 Oh, yeah! Come here, woman! 179 00:09:06,493 --> 00:09:09,762 If you were my wife, I never would've killed you! 180 00:09:09,830 --> 00:09:11,531 Thank you. You're very sweet. 181 00:09:11,599 --> 00:09:13,099 Nothing is holding up the dress! 182 00:09:13,934 --> 00:09:16,102 Only her melons! 183 00:09:16,170 --> 00:09:17,303 And here we are. 184 00:09:17,371 --> 00:09:19,339 Sideshow Bob. 185 00:09:22,176 --> 00:09:23,776 I can't see. 186 00:09:23,844 --> 00:09:25,345 Oh, here you go. 187 00:09:25,412 --> 00:09:27,280 Huh? 188 00:09:27,348 --> 00:09:28,781 That is Bob. 189 00:09:28,849 --> 00:09:30,350 Guess I was wrong. 190 00:09:33,254 --> 00:09:35,221 We better go. 191 00:09:35,289 --> 00:09:37,290 Pretty lady coming back! 192 00:09:37,358 --> 00:09:39,058 Aw, yeah... yeah! 193 00:09:39,126 --> 00:09:40,793 Come here, baby. Walkin'... 194 00:09:40,861 --> 00:09:43,563 Guys, guys, I'm married. 195 00:09:43,631 --> 00:09:45,832 You are? So sorry. 196 00:10:35,215 --> 00:10:37,817 Great day to be alive. 197 00:10:40,254 --> 00:10:42,055 Morning, Marge. 198 00:10:42,122 --> 00:10:44,257 Hope I didn't interrupt your petite dejeuner. 199 00:10:44,325 --> 00:10:45,858 Look, I feel terrible that Bart and I 200 00:10:45,926 --> 00:10:47,427 got off on the wrong foot, 201 00:10:47,494 --> 00:10:49,762 and I have an extra ticket to today's baseball game. 202 00:10:49,830 --> 00:10:51,431 Bart, care to come? 203 00:10:51,498 --> 00:10:53,633 They're playing Spokane. 204 00:10:53,701 --> 00:10:55,268 The Cascades? 205 00:10:55,336 --> 00:10:57,737 They totally stole the Federal Cup from us last year. 206 00:10:57,805 --> 00:10:59,238 Can I go, Mom? Can I? 207 00:10:59,306 --> 00:11:00,673 Is your room clean? No. 208 00:11:00,741 --> 00:11:02,141 Good. That'll give me something to do 209 00:11:02,209 --> 00:11:03,543 while you're at the game. 210 00:11:09,383 --> 00:11:12,885 Marge, the bathroom scale is lying again. 211 00:11:19,226 --> 00:11:21,394 All right, buddy, I'm gonna do to you 212 00:11:21,462 --> 00:11:24,330 what you should have done to my son a long time ago. 213 00:11:24,398 --> 00:11:25,932 I'm not Sideshow Bob. 214 00:11:25,999 --> 00:11:28,101 I'm the real Walt Warren. 215 00:11:28,168 --> 00:11:30,303 But that's impossible. 216 00:11:30,371 --> 00:11:32,338 If you're the real Walt Warren, 217 00:11:32,406 --> 00:11:34,607 who's taking our son to the baseball game right now? 218 00:11:36,343 --> 00:11:39,212 Uh, you missed the turn-off, Mr. Warren. 219 00:11:39,279 --> 00:11:41,547 You don't have to call me Mr. Warren anymore. 220 00:11:41,615 --> 00:11:43,649 You see, Bart, you were right all along. 221 00:11:46,854 --> 00:11:49,355 I am... Sideshow Bob. 222 00:11:51,358 --> 00:11:54,227 And now I am free to sing 223 00:11:54,294 --> 00:11:57,463 all the Gilbert and Sullivan I damn well please. 224 00:11:57,531 --> 00:12:01,367 ♪ Behold the lord high executioner ♪ 225 00:12:01,435 --> 00:12:04,036 ♪ A personage of noble rank and title... ♪ 226 00:12:13,793 --> 00:12:15,294 Hmm... 227 00:12:15,709 --> 00:12:16,909 Hmm...? 228 00:12:17,407 --> 00:12:19,376 I'll prove I'm telling the truth. 229 00:12:19,460 --> 00:12:20,927 Bob has huge feet, right? 230 00:12:20,995 --> 00:12:22,396 Well, look... 231 00:12:23,531 --> 00:12:24,531 You see? 232 00:12:25,833 --> 00:12:28,268 It's like you're a Chinese empress. 233 00:12:28,336 --> 00:12:30,704 You see, I was Bob's cellmate. 234 00:12:30,772 --> 00:12:33,340 My new cellmate, Walt Warren, 235 00:12:33,408 --> 00:12:35,075 was the perfect candidate for my plan. 236 00:12:35,143 --> 00:12:36,977 He had the same build as me-- 237 00:12:37,045 --> 00:12:39,579 lacking only my regal bearing and leonine grace. 238 00:12:41,549 --> 00:12:46,119 As a minor offender, he was scheduled for early release. 239 00:12:52,894 --> 00:12:56,496 Say, Bob, why do you keep measuring my face? 240 00:12:56,564 --> 00:12:58,699 Just passing the time, bunky. 241 00:12:58,766 --> 00:13:02,235 Well, I guess it beats what the last guy did. 242 00:13:02,303 --> 00:13:04,004 Well, nighty-night. 243 00:13:04,072 --> 00:13:06,006 And nighty-night to you. 244 00:13:12,347 --> 00:13:14,014 SIDESHOW BOB: I began by removing Walt's face. 245 00:13:19,354 --> 00:13:21,088 Five-second rule. 246 00:13:21,155 --> 00:13:22,856 That was the easy part. 247 00:13:22,924 --> 00:13:25,258 The hard part was removing my own face. 248 00:13:25,326 --> 00:13:29,996 Luckily, as Krusty's sidekick, I'd been hit with so many pies 249 00:13:30,064 --> 00:13:32,199 that my face had lost all sensation. 250 00:13:33,601 --> 00:13:34,868 Or so I thought. 251 00:13:43,578 --> 00:13:46,713 The final reattachment was a mere bagatelle. 252 00:13:46,781 --> 00:13:48,248 Or so I thought. 253 00:13:52,553 --> 00:13:54,254 They returned Walt's possessions to me. 254 00:13:54,322 --> 00:13:56,356 Keys, cell phone, 255 00:13:56,424 --> 00:13:58,425 $143,000. 256 00:13:58,493 --> 00:13:59,593 Oh! 257 00:13:59,660 --> 00:14:01,428 It was only $27, 000 when you came in, 258 00:14:01,496 --> 00:14:03,130 but we invested it well. 259 00:14:03,197 --> 00:14:05,465 Would you like a commission? Not allowed. 260 00:14:05,533 --> 00:14:07,601 And I walked out free as a bird. 261 00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:16,143 I bought the house next to you, and here we are. 262 00:14:16,210 --> 00:14:19,079 So I just have to kill you, then sell the house. 263 00:14:19,147 --> 00:14:21,181 Selling the house will be murder. 264 00:14:21,249 --> 00:14:24,050 You could just rent it till the market recovers... 265 00:14:24,118 --> 00:14:25,652 which'll be never. 266 00:14:29,724 --> 00:14:33,293 Walt, why didn't you tell your story to the guards? 267 00:14:33,361 --> 00:14:36,496 Well, I tried to, but I had trouble moving my new lips. 268 00:14:36,564 --> 00:14:38,265 They heard me babbling, 269 00:14:38,332 --> 00:14:42,002 thought I was crazy, and threw me into a padded cell. 270 00:14:42,069 --> 00:14:45,972 I tried to warn you by writing "Bart Simpson will die" 271 00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:48,275 on the walls, but you ignored me. 272 00:14:48,342 --> 00:14:51,411 You have to admit, "Bart Simpson Will Die" 273 00:14:51,479 --> 00:14:53,213 was kind of open to interpretation. 274 00:14:53,281 --> 00:14:54,881 I'm not a writer. 275 00:14:54,949 --> 00:14:57,384 And I'm not a locksmith. 276 00:15:06,127 --> 00:15:09,162 Man, that dude does not like Bart. 277 00:15:09,230 --> 00:15:11,364 I know where Bob's taking Bart. 278 00:15:21,642 --> 00:15:23,243 Another cup of coffee, handsome? 279 00:15:23,311 --> 00:15:25,111 It's on the house. 280 00:15:25,179 --> 00:15:28,215 Well, that's kind of you, Joyce, but caffeine makes me jittery, 281 00:15:28,282 --> 00:15:31,318 and I have a task ahead of me which requires a firm hand. 282 00:15:31,385 --> 00:15:35,222 Ooh, I like a man with a firm hand. 283 00:15:35,289 --> 00:15:38,158 Hey, looks like you've got a loose thread on your collar. 284 00:15:38,226 --> 00:15:39,659 No, don't. 285 00:15:41,429 --> 00:15:44,698 My face. My beautiful, borrowed face. 286 00:15:47,235 --> 00:15:49,369 Come back! 287 00:15:49,437 --> 00:15:51,505 I don't care if you don't have a face. 288 00:15:51,572 --> 00:15:54,374 I just need something warm to cuddle at night! 289 00:15:54,442 --> 00:15:56,910 Excuse me. Have you seen this man? 290 00:15:56,978 --> 00:15:59,212 Yeah, I've seen him. 291 00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:02,182 He, uh, said he was driving down to Mexico. 292 00:16:02,250 --> 00:16:03,216 Mexico?! 293 00:16:03,284 --> 00:16:04,284 ándale! ándale! 294 00:16:04,352 --> 00:16:05,252 Arriba! 295 00:16:05,319 --> 00:16:06,486 I don't believe her. 296 00:16:06,554 --> 00:16:08,855 I think she fell in love with my face, 297 00:16:08,923 --> 00:16:10,957 and she's trying to throw us off the scent. 298 00:16:11,025 --> 00:16:13,460 Walt, it's a nice face, 299 00:16:13,528 --> 00:16:17,497 but I don't think it would drive a professional waitress to lie. 300 00:16:17,565 --> 00:16:19,165 Well, fine. You go to Mexico. 301 00:16:19,233 --> 00:16:20,634 I'm going to Five Corners. 302 00:16:22,036 --> 00:16:23,970 Hey, handsome. 303 00:16:24,038 --> 00:16:26,039 Is that a loose thread on your collar? 304 00:16:31,312 --> 00:16:35,081 All the good men are either gay or have no face. 305 00:16:37,685 --> 00:16:39,319 Welcome to the Five Corners, 306 00:16:39,387 --> 00:16:41,488 the only geographic location in the U.S. 307 00:16:41,556 --> 00:16:43,156 where five states meet, 308 00:16:43,224 --> 00:16:45,692 and where you will meet your doom. 309 00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:47,160 Come on, Bob. 310 00:16:47,228 --> 00:16:48,662 You don't need to kill me. 311 00:16:48,729 --> 00:16:50,230 I'll probably kill myself pretty soon 312 00:16:50,298 --> 00:16:52,232 with all the stupid things I do. 313 00:16:52,300 --> 00:16:53,934 Oh, no! I swallowed my tongue! 314 00:16:58,606 --> 00:16:59,873 Yes, I would be a fool. 315 00:16:59,941 --> 00:17:01,341 Unless I did it here, 316 00:17:01,409 --> 00:17:04,244 where your murder will be unprosecutable. 317 00:17:06,213 --> 00:17:08,815 You know, the great ones can kill without explaining. 318 00:17:08,883 --> 00:17:11,785 I can stand in one state, fire a gun in a second state. 319 00:17:11,852 --> 00:17:14,588 The bullet will travel through the third, hitting you 320 00:17:14,655 --> 00:17:16,256 in the fourth so you fall dead in the fifth. 321 00:17:16,324 --> 00:17:18,124 No single act is against any law. 322 00:17:18,192 --> 00:17:20,994 But their sum total is the greatest murder 323 00:17:21,062 --> 00:17:24,230 since Snape killed Dumbledore. 324 00:17:24,298 --> 00:17:26,132 Oh, I haven't gotten to that part yet. 325 00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:27,634 It's a four-year-old book. 326 00:17:27,702 --> 00:17:29,436 I'm a slow reader. 327 00:17:29,503 --> 00:17:30,837 A fitting epitaph. 328 00:17:32,540 --> 00:17:34,341 It means last words. 329 00:17:34,408 --> 00:17:37,744 Are you here to teach me, or to kill me? 330 00:17:37,812 --> 00:17:41,047 What in the name of Malcolm Muggeridge are you doing? 331 00:17:41,115 --> 00:17:42,749 Ruining your plan. If you shoot me 332 00:17:42,817 --> 00:17:45,318 while we're in the same state, you go to jail. 333 00:17:50,725 --> 00:17:52,425 Oh! 334 00:17:52,493 --> 00:17:56,096 Fine. I'll just shoot you, and tell people I did the plan. 335 00:17:58,733 --> 00:18:00,667 Not today, Bob. 336 00:18:00,735 --> 00:18:03,003 See, Bob, even you hate to see you. 337 00:18:03,070 --> 00:18:06,272 Now Bob, you take my face off nice and easy 338 00:18:06,340 --> 00:18:08,141 and kick it over here. 339 00:18:08,209 --> 00:18:09,843 Oh! 340 00:18:09,910 --> 00:18:12,345 There's a bee under my cheek! 341 00:18:13,714 --> 00:18:14,581 Hey! Hey, no! 342 00:18:16,851 --> 00:18:18,785 Help us! Help us! For the love of God, 343 00:18:18,853 --> 00:18:20,587 Won't somebody help us? 344 00:18:20,655 --> 00:18:22,756 Sí. Uh, yes, I'd like... um... 345 00:18:22,823 --> 00:18:26,126 How do you say taco in Mexican? Taco. 346 00:18:26,193 --> 00:18:28,662 Yes, that's exactly the word I want to translate. Taco. 347 00:18:28,729 --> 00:18:30,664 Homer, can we please find Bart? Oh, yeah, yeah, right. 348 00:18:30,731 --> 00:18:33,566 Uh, just give me one of those crispy shells with meat in it. 349 00:18:33,634 --> 00:18:35,001 Taco? Oh! 350 00:18:39,524 --> 00:18:41,759 Walt, because I like your face, 351 00:18:41,821 --> 00:18:44,089 I'll let you decide which state I kill you in. 352 00:18:44,157 --> 00:18:46,158 Okay, uh... Hawaii. 353 00:18:46,225 --> 00:18:47,926 Choosing privilege revoked. 354 00:18:47,994 --> 00:18:50,762 Hold it right there, Switches of Eastface. 355 00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:52,898 Switches of Eastface? 356 00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:54,332 I don't want to censor myself. 357 00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:56,568 That's how creativity dies. 358 00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:59,471 Aah! Blasted Wiggum! How did you find us? 359 00:18:59,539 --> 00:19:02,674 You see, Bob, Bart was never convinced you were Walt. 360 00:19:02,742 --> 00:19:04,810 So before he left for the game, 361 00:19:04,877 --> 00:19:07,379 he called us and warned us to track you. 362 00:19:07,446 --> 00:19:10,182 Which we were able to do through the dashboard of 363 00:19:10,249 --> 00:19:12,818 you car, which, like all hybrids, is secretly monitored 364 00:19:12,885 --> 00:19:13,652 by the government. 365 00:19:13,719 --> 00:19:14,853 Bravo, Chief. 366 00:19:14,921 --> 00:19:16,054 Or should I say, Clancy? 367 00:19:16,122 --> 00:19:17,656 Yeah, thanks... 368 00:19:17,723 --> 00:19:19,791 Wait a minute-- why so familiar? 369 00:19:19,859 --> 00:19:23,094 Because I'm afraid you don't have jurisdiction in this state. 370 00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,933 Welcome to my jurisdiction. 371 00:19:29,769 --> 00:19:31,670 You just, uh, go ahead 372 00:19:31,737 --> 00:19:34,539 and put your hands up there, mister. 373 00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:38,777 Oh. You got the right to remain silent over here. Oh. 374 00:19:42,281 --> 00:19:43,782 We're takin' you in. 375 00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:46,084 But first, we're gonna make a stop at the shore 376 00:19:46,152 --> 00:19:48,954 for some Skee-Ball and funnel cakes. Oh! 377 00:19:52,058 --> 00:19:55,994 Oh, Bart, I am so glad everything's okay. 378 00:19:56,062 --> 00:19:57,829 Well, not everything. 379 00:19:57,897 --> 00:20:00,565 Apparently someone switched your face with a butt. 380 00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:10,508 Well, whoever moves in, 381 00:20:10,576 --> 00:20:13,245 it can't be worse than having a murderer next door. 382 00:20:13,312 --> 00:20:16,648 Howdilly-dowdilly, next-door-oonies. 383 00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:18,183 Howdy, Cousin Ted. 384 00:20:18,251 --> 00:20:19,417 Howdy do to you, Cousin Ned. 385 00:20:19,485 --> 00:20:21,119 How are Roddy and Toddy? 386 00:20:21,187 --> 00:20:23,722 Flantastic times two. How are Connie and Bonnie? 387 00:20:23,789 --> 00:20:25,991 Dandy as candy, like every good Flandy. 388 00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:28,059 Glad to hear it, thank the Holy Spirit. 389 00:20:28,127 --> 00:20:31,563 Glad to say it, and now the girls will "yay" it. 390 00:20:31,631 --> 00:20:34,032 Yay. Stop! Stop! Stop! 391 00:20:34,100 --> 00:20:38,570 -- Sync, corrected by elderman -- -- for www.addic7ed.com --