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THE D'OH-GHNUT TEAM
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Night time.
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{\TEXT ME YOUR LUNCH MONEY
EBULLY.COM}
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Hello!
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{\3 DAYS WITHOUT
AN ACCIDENT}
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{\COUCH FLEES FAMILY
HIDES IN NEWSPAPER}
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{\COUCH WINS BIG GAME}
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{\COUCH VISITS NYSE}
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{\SOFA SALE}
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{\YELLOW FAMILY SEEKS COUCH
ALL IS FORGIVEN}
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{\FAMILY REUNITED
WITH COUCH, SITS}
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In a conflict as old
as pencil and paper,
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two mighty armies square off
in a battle
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between cross and circle...
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Remember my son,
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the one who controls the center
controls the board.
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I don't understand, Master.
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I begin to fear you are too stupid.
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I love you, Rome-O!
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I love you, Julie-X!
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Tic-tac-no!
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On July 4,
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it's your move.
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From the producers of
Duck, Duck Goose,"
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Got Your Nose and One Day
in the Life of Ivan Denisovich."
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What's going on?
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Look at this electric bill!
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I'm not made of money!
I'm made of man-meat and a skeleton!
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It's time to unplug
these vampire appliances
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{\pos(192,215)}that plunge their prongs
into our creamy white outlets
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{\pos(192,215)}to quench
their unholy thirst for electrons.
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Lamp, computer, Jacob's Ladder...
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{\pos(192,215)}What the...
How long has this been running?
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{\pos(192,215)}Dad, while I agree
reducing consumption is great,
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{\pos(192,215)}it's hard to make permanent changes
in your lifestyle.
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Are you calling me fat?
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{\pos(192,215)}I am suggesting
you consider cheaper,
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alternate sources of energy.
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Alternative Energy Expo.
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Where there's expos,
there's free Frisbees!
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{\pos(192,215)}Let's roll. But we'd better make sure
robbers don't know we're out.
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{\pos(192,215)}Come on, let's go.
Who you waiting for?
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{\pos(192,215)}Come on.
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{\pos(192,215)}Do they think I'm like an idiot?
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{\pos(192,215)}I'm going to enjoy
pooping on their carpet.
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{\UNFAIR TO EARTH POISONERS}
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{\TODAY'S PANEL
GAS, GRASS, OR ASS}
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{\... EXPLOITING PETROLEUM,
BIO-FUEL & METHANE}
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{\SWICTHGRASS POWER - CORN ETHANOL}
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You son of a...
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{\ASK ME ABOUT BURP POWER}
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{\KID POWER}
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Now, on to the next funny booth.
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{\pos(192,215)}Solar power is a bright idea!
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{\pos(192,215)}Yeah, so is getting a real job.
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{\pos(192,215)}Dad!
I found what you're looking for!
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{\pos(192,215)}A churro you can eat in the shower?
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{\pos(192,215)}Goddag, friendlys.
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{\pos(192,215)}Behold to you... wind!
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The energy that powers Denmark.
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{\pos(192,215)}I'm not usually one
to take the word of a Dane.
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{\pos(192,215)}Plus, how can I afford it?
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{\pos(192,215)}Well, there are tax credits,
government rebates.
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{\pos(192,190)}It will pay for itself
in 12 to 18...
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- Months?
- Lifetimes.
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{\pos(192,215)}Tie it to my car,
and you got a deal.
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Lars, get the twine!
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{\pos(192,210)}You will not regret this.
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{\pos(192,210)}- I'm starting to regret it already.
- Too late. Lars got the twine.
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Dad, you are leading the way
in clean energy.
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{\pos(192,215)}I Al-Gored it pretty good.
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{\pos(192,210)}Where's my Grammy
for audio book narration?
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{\pos(192,210)}It's making our meter run backwards!
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{\pos(192,210)}My goodness!
{\It means}We're traveling back in time!
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{\pos(192,210)}I can warn President Lincoln
to dump his wife before she goes crazy!
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Dad, {\all it means is,}we're just providing power
to the electric company.
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That's just great.
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{\pos(192,210)}I discover electricity,
and they want to take it from me!
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{\pos(192,210)}Hello, local utility?
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{\pos(192,210)}You {\greedy}bastards have gouged Homer Simpson
for the last time.
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We will cancel your account{\,sir}.
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The Simpsons are off the grid.
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And so far it's going great.
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Gentlemen, tonight's game
is brought to us by something special.
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The kite's best friend,
the flag's partner in patriotism,
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you've seen cherubs blow it
from map corners...
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the wind!
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- All right!
- Blow me some sports!
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Over the ramparts, we...
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Over the ramparts we what?
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Don't worry,
I'll go see what's wrong.
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What the...
Who turned off the wind?
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Dad, if we're really off the grid,
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then we won't get power
when the air is still.
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I'm not crawling back
to big electricity!
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From now on,
the Simpsons are living...
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intermittently.
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My smoothie is all lumpy!
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The wind may have stopped working,
but my brain nev...
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... er does.
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Check it out, gang.
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But, {\Dad, }it defeats the purpose
if you're powering our windmill
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with the electricity from Flanders.
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This meeting
of your fan club is adjourned!
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But we haven't read the minutes
of last week's meeting!
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You used to be nicer!
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When is my turn over?
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Bart, please!
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I'm trying to hear Dr. House's
third incorrect diagnosis
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before his final correct diagnosis!
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Dear Lord,
you've got the wind I need,
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I've got the prayers you crave.
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Let's make a deal.
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Nt's Weather Worriers are
reporting gusts up to 75...
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Now we're cookin' with wind!
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Homie,
maybe this is too much electricity.
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Nothing is ever right for you.
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Why can't our house
ever be that bright?
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Nothing is ever right for you.
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Finally.
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Well, the lesson here is...
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We're gonna go check out
the wind damage.
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Be careful!
If you see a downed power line,
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do whatever it is
people are supposed to do
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in that situation.
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Make it stop! Make it stop!
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Look at the cool stuff
that washed up!
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Scuba goggles!
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Medical waste!
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My God!
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A beached whale!
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Can you believe
that something so mighty
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has been rendered so powerless?
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I'm gonna have my next birthday
party on this thing.
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Ay, caramba.
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She's such a beautiful shade
of blue.
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I'm going to call you
Bluella the whale.
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Check it out!
World's biggest armpit fart.
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You just made a powerful enemy!
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Come on, everybody!
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A whale needs help!
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Why should we?
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Where was that whale
when my mom moved out?
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Whales are mammals like us.
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They're sensitive
and deeply intelligent.
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Nerd!
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I'm going to get real help.
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Just try to keep her wet.
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Want to learn more about whaling?
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Sure!
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Want me to "knock it off?"
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I'm afraid to answer that.
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Never tell a bully you're afraid.
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Our wedding china's ruined.
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We'll have to eat Thanksgiving dinner
off regular plates like animals.
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Mom, Dad,
there's a whale on the beach.
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You gotta help me
get her back in the ocean.
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All right. Let me get my tool belt.
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Man, who are these belts made for,
French super models?
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Hurry, Dad, hurry!
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Homie, can I talk to you
for a second?
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- Sure. Lisa, bring the car around.
- I don't know how to drive.
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Haven't you learned anything
from watching Bart drive?
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A little.
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Homie, I happened to read
about beached whales
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in Springfield Geographic.
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It usually does not end well.
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We can't let Lisa get her hopes up.
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Marge, how hard can it be?
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We're just rolling it
into the ocean from the beach.
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It's not like it's stuck
in the bottom of a well
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or in a Mexican prison.
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But that would make a great movie.
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{\COOL HAND FLUKE}
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Lisa is very sensitive.
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If something she loves
dies in front of her...
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That whale's not gonna die.
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We're busting him out of prison,
no matter what you say, Escobar!
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God, this thing writes itself.
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Coming!
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We'll need the town's strongest men
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to roll the whale back in the water.
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We need a better idea.
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We'll have to find
our town's smartest men.
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It's hard to believe
anyone in that contest
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can be considered smart.
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One...
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two...
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three... tug!
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Lisa, sweetheart,
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it's almost dinner time.
Why don't you come home?
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I'll catch up with you guys
in a little bit.
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You know, when I'm sad,
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I read something beautiful
and true... poetry.
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No, you're gonna like it.
It's about the ocean.
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"The world below the brine.
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"Forests at the bottom of the sea.
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"The branches and leaves...
199
00:12:56,967 --> 00:12:59,738
"Sea-lettuce, vast lichens..."
200
00:13:00,715 --> 00:13:03,073
Wake up, Lis!
They're doing it!
201
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Dorsal straps secured!
202
00:13:06,744 --> 00:13:08,245
Tail clamps in position!
203
00:13:08,413 --> 00:13:11,123
Congratulatory T-shirts
silk-screened and distributed!
204
00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:14,663
Operation "Desert Ocean" is a go!
205
00:13:14,788 --> 00:13:17,462
Let's get this lady fish
into the blue zone!
206
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:20,873
It was my idea
to put the whale in the water.
207
00:13:21,068 --> 00:13:22,900
Girl, you're going home!
208
00:13:31,227 --> 00:13:32,742
Good-bye, Bluella!
209
00:13:32,867 --> 00:13:35,730
Send me a post card
from Tierra Del Fuego.
210
00:13:36,832 --> 00:13:37,832
Good-bye!
211
00:13:49,614 --> 00:13:50,412
Bluella?
212
00:14:06,756 --> 00:14:10,223
Don't worry, honey.
Right now she's lying on God's beach.
213
00:14:10,391 --> 00:14:12,363
She doesn't like lying on the beach.
214
00:14:12,488 --> 00:14:14,144
She likes being in the ocean.
215
00:14:14,910 --> 00:14:17,868
I'm sorry.
I tried my best.
216
00:14:18,064 --> 00:14:21,641
I know it's {\really}hard when you discover
your dad isn't perfect.
217
00:14:21,766 --> 00:14:24,070
Not perfect? You can say that again.
218
00:14:24,238 --> 00:14:26,654
I'm trying to be a sensitive father,
219
00:14:26,779 --> 00:14:28,658
you unwanted moron!
220
00:14:28,959 --> 00:14:30,401
Lisa, where were we?
221
00:14:30,526 --> 00:14:32,646
Maybe
I should just be alone a little bit.
222
00:14:32,962 --> 00:14:33,962
Of course.
223
00:14:37,341 --> 00:14:39,654
It kills me to see her like that.
224
00:14:40,022 --> 00:14:42,924
And if there's one thing
I can't stand,
225
00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:44,449
it's being killed.
226
00:14:48,928 --> 00:14:51,765
This'll be the biggest dead animal
we ever poked with a stick.
227
00:14:51,933 --> 00:14:54,463
If that flattened squirrel
we poked last week
228
00:14:54,588 --> 00:14:56,478
could only see us now.
229
00:15:03,277 --> 00:15:05,737
Back up, everybody.
But not too much.
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00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:08,573
You are definitely
gonna want to see this.
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00:15:11,786 --> 00:15:15,310
So clean, how part of it
just disappears like that?
232
00:15:27,811 --> 00:15:30,971
Citizens, today,
we honor Bluella the whale,
233
00:15:31,139 --> 00:15:34,495
along with the victims
of the Great Whale Explosion.
234
00:15:35,914 --> 00:15:38,755
Could you please stop dynamiting?!
235
00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:40,397
Sorry. I sat on the plunger.
236
00:15:40,522 --> 00:15:42,725
But Bluella will live on among us
237
00:15:42,850 --> 00:15:45,489
as we make use
of every part of her body,
238
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from blowhole to fluke.
239
00:15:48,072 --> 00:15:49,657
{\ABERCROMBIE & FISH}
240
00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:51,616
{\BLUELLA MIST PARFUME
MADE FROM BLUELLA}
241
00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:53,449
{\BLOWHOLE REPUBLIC
WHALEBONE CORSETS}
242
00:15:56,444 --> 00:15:59,718
Behold, I am Captain Kirk
from Star Trek One.
243
00:16:00,315 --> 00:16:01,325
Two.
244
00:16:01,450 --> 00:16:02,259
Five.
245
00:16:02,384 --> 00:16:03,475
Generations.
246
00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:04,750
Boston Legal.
247
00:16:06,912 --> 00:16:09,412
Now, Lisa,
I know you miss your whale.
248
00:16:09,537 --> 00:16:12,096
So I got you a pet
that will never die.
249
00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:13,717
An invisible dog.
250
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:16,458
Look, he's doing his business.
251
00:16:16,583 --> 00:16:18,768
Not on the rug!
You bad dog!
252
00:16:20,770 --> 00:16:22,001
Stop biting my leg!
253
00:16:22,910 --> 00:16:24,482
That's it.
You're going outside.
254
00:16:26,935 --> 00:16:28,028
Bad dog, stop!
255
00:16:30,765 --> 00:16:32,032
Bluella?
256
00:16:32,705 --> 00:16:33,716
Hey, Lisa.
257
00:16:33,841 --> 00:16:35,601
Just oiling the old door here.
258
00:16:35,726 --> 00:16:38,273
Finally silenced that mournful wail.
259
00:17:04,621 --> 00:17:06,649
I'm not gonna be disappointed again.
260
00:17:18,574 --> 00:17:20,977
They must be Bluella's children!
261
00:17:21,255 --> 00:17:23,358
Hello, whale calves!
262
00:17:23,688 --> 00:17:26,070
Your mother lives on through you!
263
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:30,492
Run! I mean, swim!
264
00:17:30,617 --> 00:17:31,617
I mean...
265
00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:41,838
Those baby whales are doomed,
just like their mom.
266
00:17:42,777 --> 00:17:45,014
I guess it's just nature's way.
267
00:17:47,343 --> 00:17:49,185
Nature is a toothless, dying hag.
268
00:17:49,310 --> 00:17:51,569
We are gonna save
those whale babies!
269
00:17:51,842 --> 00:17:54,155
Dad? Where did you get that boat?
270
00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:57,158
I'm taking it on a test drive
from the boat store. Get in.
271
00:18:00,872 --> 00:18:03,623
Shark Week just got canceled.
272
00:18:04,652 --> 00:18:06,209
Drop the 'poon!
273
00:18:06,377 --> 00:18:08,078
Come on! Leave me alone!
274
00:18:08,203 --> 00:18:10,046
I'm trying
to save your precious whales!
275
00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:13,342
We're not here to protect the whales.
But to protect the sharks.
276
00:18:13,605 --> 00:18:15,610
Did you know
that over 40 million sharks
277
00:18:15,735 --> 00:18:18,221
are slaughtered every year
to make shark-fin soup?
278
00:18:19,005 --> 00:18:20,390
You like sharks?
279
00:18:20,558 --> 00:18:22,851
Being a true eco-activist
means supporting
280
00:18:23,019 --> 00:18:24,978
every animal's struggle for life.
281
00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:26,619
Except for cockroaches.
282
00:18:27,018 --> 00:18:28,064
Linda, please.
283
00:18:28,798 --> 00:18:32,492
Typical eco-jerks...
using words to talk.
284
00:18:37,170 --> 00:18:38,862
Dad, no!
They're right.
285
00:18:38,987 --> 00:18:40,660
If the only way to save the whales
286
00:18:40,828 --> 00:18:43,872
is to kill another innocent creature,
I can't let you do it.
287
00:18:44,355 --> 00:18:46,873
Sharks, innocent? Please.
288
00:18:46,998 --> 00:18:50,503
Every year, they kill a couple of people
who do a series of stupid things.
289
00:18:50,671 --> 00:18:53,840
A shark's reptilian brain
understands only one thing...
290
00:18:54,008 --> 00:18:55,717
the crime of murder.
291
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:08,062
Dad! The sharks must think
you're a baby whale.
292
00:19:08,544 --> 00:19:09,988
A baby whale.
293
00:19:10,113 --> 00:19:11,941
My diet is working.
294
00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:14,501
Why couldn't I be eaten
by a giraffe?
295
00:19:14,626 --> 00:19:15,913
That would be fun.
296
00:19:16,038 --> 00:19:18,947
Gently,
bonk the shark on the nose with this.
297
00:19:19,072 --> 00:19:21,868
It'll either make him go away
or eat you quicker.
298
00:19:24,104 --> 00:19:27,168
Maybe the blood
will scare the sharks off.
299
00:19:36,173 --> 00:19:38,384
It's the baby whales' dad!
300
00:19:38,552 --> 00:19:39,782
Thanks, buddy!
301
00:19:43,891 --> 00:19:46,286
Thanks
for not letting me give up, Dad.
302
00:19:46,939 --> 00:19:50,156
I'd do anything
for a sweet, intelligent mammal,
303
00:19:50,281 --> 00:19:51,948
by which I mean you.
304
00:19:57,488 --> 00:19:59,159
Do you think they'll be okay?
305
00:19:59,284 --> 00:20:00,323
Absolutely.
306
00:20:00,491 --> 00:20:02,839
He's young, he's got two cute kids.
307
00:20:02,964 --> 00:20:06,301
He'll be moving in
with a sexy lady octopus in no time.
308
00:20:06,426 --> 00:20:08,794
They'll have to sell their old place.
Too many memories.
309
00:20:08,919 --> 00:20:10,323
But if I'm not mistaken,
310
00:20:10,448 --> 00:20:12,836
there's a little whale-a-puss
on the way.
311
00:20:14,371 --> 00:20:17,788
Tonight let's all draw pictures
of what your father just said.
312
00:20:55,212 --> 00:20:57,562
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