1 00:01:25,728 --> 00:01:27,869 Burns, you're coming with us. 2 00:01:27,937 --> 00:01:29,307 No, no, let me go. 3 00:01:29,378 --> 00:01:31,249 Surprised? 4 00:01:31,316 --> 00:01:33,662 Me, C. Montgomery Burns, locked up like an animal? 5 00:01:33,730 --> 00:01:36,541 What caused this puzzling turn of events? 6 00:01:36,609 --> 00:01:38,617 Well, I'll tell you my tale... 7 00:01:38,685 --> 00:01:41,324 by thinking about it to myself. 8 00:01:43,726 --> 00:01:47,268 And so our Employee of the Month is the late Roger Ducette, 9 00:01:47,336 --> 00:01:48,706 who tragically died 10 00:01:48,774 --> 00:01:49,976 from complications due to union organizing. 11 00:01:50,044 --> 00:01:51,748 Moving on. 12 00:01:51,816 --> 00:01:54,087 The power plant's first annual Fourth of July picnic 13 00:01:54,155 --> 00:01:55,525 is this coming Saturday. 14 00:01:55,593 --> 00:01:56,895 Whoo-hoo! 15 00:01:56,963 --> 00:01:59,002 Oh, I'm afraid you misunderstand. 16 00:01:59,070 --> 00:02:01,042 This picnic is for me. 17 00:02:01,110 --> 00:02:04,252 You will all be spending your Independence Day slaving away 18 00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:07,228 in the hot summer sun without pay, lotion or gratitude. 19 00:02:07,296 --> 00:02:08,031 D'oh! 20 00:02:08,099 --> 00:02:10,501 Yes, "duh-ohhh," indeed. 21 00:02:10,569 --> 00:02:14,941 ?'Cause it's summer ? 33 00:01:39,497 --> 00:01:41,734 ?Summertime is here ? 22 00:02:19,953 --> 00:02:23,359 (dogs snarling) ?Yes, it's summer ? 36 00:01:47,916 --> 00:01:49,852 ?My time of... ? 37 00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:52,358 Sir, your spareribs, cooked just the way you like 'em. 23 00:02:27,936 --> 00:02:30,106 Spareribs, eh? 24 00:02:30,174 --> 00:02:32,879 I've played a round of tenpins or two in my life, 25 00:02:32,947 --> 00:02:35,718 and to me, the word "spare" reeks of second best. 26 00:02:35,786 --> 00:02:38,323 Give me ten full frames of strike ribs. 27 00:02:38,390 --> 00:02:39,860 And you, find my doctor 28 00:02:39,927 --> 00:02:41,698 and ask him why I'd ask for something 29 00:02:41,766 --> 00:02:43,502 as insane as strike ribs. (glumly): Yes, sir. 30 00:02:43,569 --> 00:02:45,338 You know, sir, these people have been working 31 00:02:45,406 --> 00:02:47,509 since your 6:00 a.m. parade of the flags. 32 00:02:47,577 --> 00:02:49,880 Maybe you could give them the rest of the day off 33 00:02:49,948 --> 00:02:51,584 to spend with their families? 34 00:02:51,651 --> 00:02:53,821 Yes, they should go. Just as soon as they perform 35 00:02:53,889 --> 00:02:55,123 this musical I've written 36 00:02:55,191 --> 00:02:56,225 in celebration of our nation's birth. 37 00:02:56,293 --> 00:02:58,063 Grab your scripts, people. 38 00:02:58,130 --> 00:03:01,035 We open in 20 minutes. Break a leg. 39 00:03:01,103 --> 00:03:03,305 I said break a leg. 40 00:03:04,943 --> 00:03:07,279 For God's sake, man, it's a figure of speech. 41 00:03:07,347 --> 00:03:09,850 You're fired. 42 00:03:09,918 --> 00:03:15,594 (to the tune of "Battle Hymn of the Republic") ?We love America. ? 44 00:03:35,928 --> 00:03:37,429 Meh. 45 00:03:37,497 --> 00:03:40,535 Smithers, take my hands and clap them sarcastically. 46 00:03:43,373 --> 00:03:44,675 More sarcastic. 47 00:03:44,742 --> 00:03:46,578 Burns-- what an ungrateful jerk. 48 00:03:46,645 --> 00:03:49,515 We hoofed our hearts out for him with no rehearsal. 49 00:03:49,584 --> 00:03:51,553 I say Burns owes us a party. 50 00:03:51,620 --> 00:03:54,958 Let's have one right now... with his wine. 51 00:04:00,132 --> 00:04:01,533 I don't know. 52 00:04:01,601 --> 00:04:03,336 Technically, this is trespassing. 53 00:04:03,403 --> 00:04:05,606 (scoffs): What's the worst thing he could do? 54 00:04:08,745 --> 00:04:10,680 (Homer humming) Hey, Lenny, 55 00:04:10,748 --> 00:04:13,418 you care for some Chateau La Mondotte Saint-Emilion? 56 00:04:13,486 --> 00:04:15,020 That's a regular-sized bottle. 57 00:04:15,087 --> 00:04:16,956 I'm drinking Jeroboams. 58 00:04:17,023 --> 00:04:19,426 I'm pounding Melchizedeks. 60 00:04:20,929 --> 00:04:22,797 Homer, that's a $60,000 bottle. 61 00:04:22,865 --> 00:04:23,899 Whoo-hoo. 62 00:04:23,967 --> 00:04:25,501 I'm drinking my salary. 63 00:04:25,570 --> 00:04:27,638 Yeah, but don't some of that go to income tax? 64 00:04:27,706 --> 00:04:28,774 Yeah, you're right. 65 00:04:28,841 --> 00:04:29,942 The government... 66 00:04:30,010 --> 00:04:31,578 taking my hard-earned stolen wine 67 00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:33,281 and spending it on that no-good floor. 68 00:04:33,349 --> 00:04:35,316 I hear that. 69 00:04:35,384 --> 00:04:38,020 (Hom yelling) LENNY: I'm getting radioactive right now. 73 00:04:47,763 --> 00:04:48,930 Smithers, sound the alarum. 74 00:04:48,998 --> 00:04:50,232 Summon the shire reeve. 75 00:04:50,299 --> 00:04:53,335 Wake the beadle. 78 00:04:59,741 --> 00:05:03,209 Okay, left hand: Rembrandt. 81 00:05:05,811 --> 00:05:08,479 All right, step away from the old masters 82 00:05:08,547 --> 00:05:10,747 and kick 'em over here. Come on. 83 00:05:10,815 --> 00:05:12,549 Whoa, wait a minute, Chief. 84 00:05:12,617 --> 00:05:14,184 This is The Concert by Vermeer. Huh? 85 00:05:14,252 --> 00:05:16,453 Which was stolen in 1990 86 00:05:16,521 --> 00:05:19,154 from Boston's Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum. 87 00:05:19,222 --> 00:05:21,323 So, Burns, 88 00:05:21,391 --> 00:05:24,125 do you want to explain how this miracle of measure 89 00:05:24,193 --> 00:05:25,792 and harmony got into your collection? 90 00:05:25,859 --> 00:05:28,094 Well, I... you-you see... 91 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,528 It's just... 92 00:05:29,596 --> 00:05:32,063 Is it a crime to want nice things, 93 00:05:32,131 --> 00:05:34,832 and then to steal them from a public museum 94 00:05:34,900 --> 00:05:36,467 where any gum-chewing monkey 95 00:05:36,535 --> 00:05:38,936 in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? 96 00:05:39,003 --> 00:05:40,805 I think not! 97 00:05:40,873 --> 00:05:42,741 Cuff him, Lou. 98 00:05:45,577 --> 00:05:48,445 MR. BURNS: The entire town turned out to jeer me. 99 00:05:48,512 --> 00:05:51,347 Me, whose velvet breeches their lizard lips 100 00:05:51,415 --> 00:05:54,583 had so often joylessly smooched. 102 00:05:59,354 --> 00:06:01,455 Throwin' stuff. Get yer throwin' stuff. 103 00:06:01,522 --> 00:06:03,723 Turn a protest into a riot. 104 00:06:03,790 --> 00:06:05,257 How much for a tomato? 105 00:06:05,325 --> 00:06:07,591 Fresh is a dollar, rotten's two bucks. 106 00:06:07,659 --> 00:06:09,459 Son, do you really need the rotten? 107 00:06:09,527 --> 00:06:11,729 I mean, it's not like you're actually gonna hit him. 108 00:06:13,064 --> 00:06:17,000 Oh... since it's your birthday. 109 00:06:18,735 --> 00:06:21,136 Mom, I'm gonna go hurl rotten fruit. 110 00:06:21,204 --> 00:06:23,071 No one in this family is hurling 111 00:06:23,139 --> 00:06:24,473 rotten anything at anyone. 113 00:06:25,908 --> 00:06:27,842 And just what might that be? 114 00:06:27,910 --> 00:06:30,211 Uh... this is my lunch. 115 00:06:30,278 --> 00:06:31,412 Really? 116 00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:32,579 Okay, eat your lunch. 117 00:06:32,647 --> 00:06:33,680 But... 118 00:06:33,748 --> 00:06:34,915 You said it's your lunch. 119 00:06:34,982 --> 00:06:36,082 Eat it. Eat my lunch? 120 00:06:36,150 --> 00:06:37,217 Yes. Enjoy. 121 00:06:37,284 --> 00:06:39,552 Okay, I will. Bon appétit. 122 00:06:39,619 --> 00:06:42,421 MR. BURNS: They continued for some time in this vein, until... 123 00:06:42,488 --> 00:06:43,955 You don't think I'm going to? 124 00:06:44,023 --> 00:06:45,323 I don't see any chewing. 125 00:06:45,391 --> 00:06:46,824 Okay. (makes chewing sound) 126 00:06:46,892 --> 00:06:48,826 Not air bites, real bites. 127 00:06:48,894 --> 00:06:49,760 Oh... 128 00:06:54,532 --> 00:06:56,632 Where are you going? Shopping. 129 00:06:56,700 --> 00:06:59,201 Every time this town riots, the malls are deserted. 130 00:06:59,269 --> 00:07:00,535 You stay here. 131 00:07:00,603 --> 00:07:02,671 (groans) I hate being stuck at home. 132 00:07:02,739 --> 00:07:04,006 Play with Lisa. 133 00:07:04,073 --> 00:07:05,874 Mom, you don't play with Lisa. 134 00:07:05,942 --> 00:07:07,175 You play despite her. 135 00:07:07,243 --> 00:07:09,677 Bart, I'm not thrilled either, 136 00:07:09,744 --> 00:07:11,211 but one day we might need each other 137 00:07:11,279 --> 00:07:12,612 for organ transplants, 138 00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:15,181 so we'd better keep the lines of communication open. 139 00:07:15,249 --> 00:07:17,016 Want to help me with my ant farm? 140 00:07:17,084 --> 00:07:18,918 You plant the ants, and then they grow? 141 00:07:18,986 --> 00:07:21,587 No, the ants are the farmers. 142 00:07:21,655 --> 00:07:22,955 Really? What are they growing? 143 00:07:23,023 --> 00:07:25,324 Nothing. Look, do you want to do it or not? 144 00:07:25,392 --> 00:07:26,825 No! Fine. 145 00:07:26,893 --> 00:07:29,427 So ironic. 146 00:07:29,495 --> 00:07:31,996 After all my years of stock jobbing, 147 00:07:32,064 --> 00:07:33,264 gun running, attempted murder, 148 00:07:33,332 --> 00:07:35,532 successful murder, and tom peepery, 149 00:07:35,599 --> 00:07:38,100 they get me on a petty multimillion dollar art theft. 150 00:07:38,168 --> 00:07:39,902 (sobs): It's so unfair. 151 00:07:39,970 --> 00:07:41,870 Smithers, until I am released, 152 00:07:41,938 --> 00:07:44,439 you shall be running the nuclear plant. 153 00:07:44,507 --> 00:07:45,474 Me? 154 00:07:45,541 --> 00:07:47,108 Be strong, Smithers. 155 00:07:47,176 --> 00:07:48,710 Be strong for the plant. 156 00:07:48,777 --> 00:07:50,077 She needs you. 158 00:07:52,178 --> 00:07:54,246 MR. BURNS: This would have been a perfect time for it to start raining. 159 00:07:54,313 --> 00:07:57,082 Oh, what the hell. I'm telling this story. 161 00:07:59,752 --> 00:08:03,721 Hmm. Not dramatic enough. 162 00:08:03,789 --> 00:08:05,657 Frostbite took his nose. 163 00:08:05,725 --> 00:08:07,959 (laughs): Excellent. 164 00:08:10,644 --> 00:08:13,031 MR. BURNS: That prison was like a prison to me. 165 00:08:13,031 --> 00:08:15,065 Not a prison of bricks and iron, 166 00:08:15,133 --> 00:08:16,900 but one of steel and cement. 167 00:08:16,968 --> 00:08:18,535 They took everything from me. 168 00:08:18,603 --> 00:08:22,237 One movie stub from Tillie's Punctured Romance, 169 00:08:22,305 --> 00:08:24,873 envelope marked "bribe." 170 00:08:24,940 --> 00:08:27,208 Empty. 171 00:08:28,844 --> 00:08:30,678 Social Security card. 172 00:08:30,745 --> 00:08:33,347 That's just an S.S. card, you Dummkopf. 173 00:08:33,414 --> 00:08:37,150 My only hope lay in befriending the warden. 174 00:08:37,218 --> 00:08:39,018 (with Southern accent): Now you looky here, Burns. 175 00:08:39,086 --> 00:08:40,553 All your money and influence 176 00:08:40,621 --> 00:08:42,022 don't mean nothin' on the inside. 177 00:08:42,089 --> 00:08:44,924 Yes, but a wealthy man can buy information, 178 00:08:44,992 --> 00:08:49,229 information that can be highly damaging to a certain warden. 179 00:08:49,296 --> 00:08:51,998 Well, uh, what information we talkin' 'bout? 180 00:08:52,066 --> 00:08:54,267 Well, I'm sure the boys at the city desk 181 00:08:54,335 --> 00:08:57,137 would be interested to learn that you're addicted to... 182 00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:58,705 to... 184 00:09:00,274 --> 00:09:01,975 Can't read my own writing. 185 00:09:02,043 --> 00:09:05,078 But I'll tell you this, Warden, it starts with an "H." 186 00:09:05,146 --> 00:09:06,746 Ham? 187 00:09:06,814 --> 00:09:08,448 It's clearly more than three letters. 188 00:09:08,549 --> 00:09:10,084 Get him out of my sight. 189 00:09:17,123 --> 00:09:20,058 Ain't nobody gonna take my H from me. 191 00:09:21,694 --> 00:09:23,461 (high-pitched): Damn, that gas is noble. 193 00:09:26,231 --> 00:09:28,398 ?Early one morning ? 246 00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:38,586 ?The blues came fallin' down ? 247 00:11:42,423 --> 00:11:45,290 ?Early one morning ? 248 00:11:45,358 --> 00:11:46,959 The blues came fallin' down... ? 194 00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:45,973 Time for a cavity search. 195 00:09:46,041 --> 00:09:47,441 (laughing): Oh. 196 00:09:47,509 --> 00:09:49,677 I haven't had a cavity in over 40 years. 197 00:09:49,745 --> 00:09:51,812 I wasn't talking about your teeth. 198 00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:53,714 Nor was I. 199 00:09:55,517 --> 00:09:57,384 Meet your roommate. 200 00:09:58,852 --> 00:10:00,184 Hiya, pal. 201 00:10:00,252 --> 00:10:01,682 They put two harmless 202 00:10:01,750 --> 00:10:03,117 white collar criminals in the same cell. 203 00:10:03,185 --> 00:10:04,552 What luck, huh? 205 00:10:06,354 --> 00:10:08,087 I was afraid you'd be some tattooed bruiser. 206 00:10:08,155 --> 00:10:10,589 Well, they don't turn out too many of those at Dartmouth. 207 00:10:10,657 --> 00:10:13,858 Dartmouth?! Get me away from this hideous brute at once. 208 00:10:13,926 --> 00:10:15,460 At once! Do you hear me?! 209 00:10:15,528 --> 00:10:17,396 Got my master's from the University of Virginia, 210 00:10:17,464 --> 00:10:18,831 the public Ivy. 211 00:10:18,899 --> 00:10:20,165 Guard! 212 00:10:21,734 --> 00:10:23,736 Such an intricate formicarium. 213 00:10:23,803 --> 00:10:26,936 I'm the proudest myrmecologist on the block. 214 00:10:27,004 --> 00:10:29,405 Hey, they're not eating. 215 00:10:29,473 --> 00:10:31,307 Don't worry. I gave 'em a Pop-Tart. 216 00:10:31,374 --> 00:10:33,342 The healthy kind-- strawberry-frosted. 217 00:10:33,410 --> 00:10:36,579 Bart, that Pop-Tart wasn't locally farmed or sourced. 218 00:10:36,646 --> 00:10:39,046 Oh, Lisa, you take the fun out of everything. 219 00:10:39,114 --> 00:10:41,681 (scoffs): I am so glad I am not your kid. 220 00:10:41,749 --> 00:10:43,716 Well, I'm so glad I'm not your mom. 221 00:10:43,783 --> 00:10:45,283 You should be. 222 00:10:45,351 --> 00:10:47,985 If I was in your tummy, I'd poo in your throat. 223 00:10:48,053 --> 00:10:51,221 Ew. Ew. Ew. I'll never get that image out of my head. 224 00:10:51,289 --> 00:10:53,859 Oh, no. You are not taking the children. 225 00:10:53,927 --> 00:10:55,295 If they're anybody's children, they're mine. 227 00:10:59,199 --> 00:11:01,333 (gasps) Quick, we've got to get them back. 228 00:11:07,872 --> 00:11:09,738 There's only one ant left. 229 00:11:09,806 --> 00:11:12,139 I will never forgive you. 230 00:11:13,574 --> 00:11:15,174 Aw... 231 00:11:15,242 --> 00:11:18,143 Well, I will never forgive you, Bart. 232 00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:19,811 That only angers me more! 233 00:11:19,879 --> 00:11:21,812 I know. 234 00:11:32,390 --> 00:11:34,524 Okay, Waylon, you never wanted this job, 235 00:11:34,592 --> 00:11:35,858 but you got it. 236 00:11:38,295 --> 00:11:39,696 Damn it! 238 00:11:42,267 --> 00:11:45,069 You know, this is my chance. 239 00:11:45,137 --> 00:11:48,505 A chance to be the kind of boss I want to be. 240 00:11:48,573 --> 00:11:51,510 A little more... employee-friendly. 241 00:11:51,578 --> 00:11:54,548 Mmm. That was a wild Christmas party. 242 00:11:56,250 --> 00:11:58,151 In the next few weeks, we'll be introducing 243 00:11:58,218 --> 00:11:59,819 a medical plan that covers illness, 244 00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:01,854 and a suggestion box that is no longer 245 00:12:01,922 --> 00:12:03,322 a guillotine for the hand. 246 00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:05,257 (clanging) Yeah! 247 00:12:05,324 --> 00:12:07,391 Well, I agree things are a lot nicer around here, 248 00:12:07,459 --> 00:12:10,025 but I think I speak for many of us when I say, 249 00:12:10,093 --> 00:12:11,059 what's the catch? 251 00:12:12,194 --> 00:12:13,461 Well, the catch is, 252 00:12:13,529 --> 00:12:15,296 happy workers are productive workers. 253 00:12:15,364 --> 00:12:17,565 (quietly): There's always a catch! 254 00:12:19,101 --> 00:12:21,502 Can I come in? 255 00:12:21,570 --> 00:12:23,404 You're not going anywhere near Annie. 256 00:12:23,472 --> 00:12:24,605 Annie? 257 00:12:24,673 --> 00:12:26,607 As in "Little Orphan"? 258 00:12:26,675 --> 00:12:29,577 It was an accident-- I didn't mean to kill our ants. 259 00:12:29,645 --> 00:12:31,412 (gasps): Patty and Selma are dead? 260 00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:32,547 Whoo-hoo 261 00:12:32,614 --> 00:12:34,015 A double funeral! 263 00:12:37,252 --> 00:12:39,615 Dad, before you jump to conclusions... 264 00:12:39,683 --> 00:12:41,082 Oh, please, tell me they suffered. 266 00:12:42,250 --> 00:12:45,151 Gh-gh-gh... hags! 268 00:12:48,521 --> 00:12:50,989 MR. BURNS: Looks like it's Pledge Day. 269 00:12:51,056 --> 00:12:53,823 Which jailhouse fraternity shall I join? 270 00:12:53,891 --> 00:12:55,591 The Shriners? 271 00:12:55,659 --> 00:12:57,493 The ROTC? 272 00:12:57,560 --> 00:12:59,361 The Sunday Funnies? 273 00:12:59,428 --> 00:13:01,962 Or one of these other dining clubs? 274 00:13:02,030 --> 00:13:04,430 Look at them circling me like I'm Cinderella, 275 00:13:04,497 --> 00:13:05,964 belle of the ball. 276 00:13:06,031 --> 00:13:07,465 MAN: Back off! 277 00:13:07,532 --> 00:13:09,399 He's mine. 278 00:13:10,901 --> 00:13:12,669 Warden, help me! 279 00:13:12,736 --> 00:13:13,936 (high-pitched): No can do, baby. 280 00:13:14,004 --> 00:13:16,240 I'm not coming down for days! 281 00:13:17,875 --> 00:13:21,010 Mr. Smithers, our lives are awesome, thanks to you. 282 00:13:21,078 --> 00:13:24,012 And because I know you... like your loafers light, 283 00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:26,781 I want to give something back. 284 00:13:26,848 --> 00:13:27,815 Wip! 285 00:13:29,218 --> 00:13:31,254 Use that image any way you want. 286 00:13:31,322 --> 00:13:32,722 Three cheers for Mr. Smithers! 287 00:13:32,789 --> 00:13:34,356 To Mr. Smithers! 288 00:13:34,424 --> 00:13:36,693 Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! 290 00:13:38,163 --> 00:13:39,530 Uh, listen, uh, can I leave 291 00:13:39,598 --> 00:13:40,897 a little early tomorrow? 292 00:13:40,965 --> 00:13:42,866 My kid has a thing. 293 00:13:42,933 --> 00:13:44,602 Ooh, yeah, can I leave early, too? 294 00:13:44,670 --> 00:13:47,137 I want to take a nap so I'm awake for the meteor shower. 295 00:13:49,273 --> 00:13:50,840 Well, I'm flexible. Go ahead. 296 00:13:50,908 --> 00:13:52,341 You know, I used to think you was 297 00:13:52,409 --> 00:13:54,276 just as bad as Mr. Burns. 298 00:13:54,344 --> 00:13:56,378 Now, I think you're just as good as me. 299 00:13:56,446 --> 00:13:58,782 Oh, that is a huge compliment. 301 00:14:00,386 --> 00:14:02,189 Uh, excuse me. 302 00:14:03,858 --> 00:14:07,393 Ye the service on my car was excellent. 303 00:14:07,461 --> 00:14:08,994 Five out of five. 304 00:14:09,062 --> 00:14:10,429 Four out of five. 305 00:14:10,497 --> 00:14:11,963 Five out of five. 306 00:14:12,031 --> 00:14:13,798 Uh, excuse me, can I go back 307 00:14:13,866 --> 00:14:16,200 and change that four out of five to five out of five? 308 00:14:16,267 --> 00:14:18,434 I'm wasting your time? 309 00:14:18,502 --> 00:14:21,036 Smithers, what a marshmallow. I don't have 310 00:14:21,104 --> 00:14:22,770 a thing with my kid tomorrow. 311 00:14:22,838 --> 00:14:24,039 You told me you did. 312 00:14:24,107 --> 00:14:25,675 I do, but I'm not going to it. 313 00:14:25,743 --> 00:14:26,909 To Smithers, 314 00:14:26,977 --> 00:14:28,844 the world's dumbest loser. 315 00:14:28,912 --> 00:14:30,846 There'nothing sweeter than being nice 316 00:14:30,914 --> 00:14:33,114 to a guy's face and then stabbing him in the back 317 00:14:33,182 --> 00:14:34,415 the minute he walks away. 318 00:14:34,482 --> 00:14:36,216 All right, that's it. 319 00:14:36,284 --> 00:14:37,618 (gasping) You know, 320 00:14:37,686 --> 00:14:39,487 I used to wonder why Mr. Burns 321 00:14:39,554 --> 00:14:40,921 hated humanity. 322 00:14:40,989 --> 00:14:42,556 Now I know. 323 00:14:42,624 --> 00:14:46,359 You open your heart and they mock your very decency. 324 00:14:46,427 --> 00:14:49,362 (mocking): Ooh, we mo your very decency. 325 00:14:56,298 --> 00:14:59,367 Man, Smithers is working us like dogs. 326 00:14:59,435 --> 00:15:00,735 Well, at least we got 327 00:15:00,803 --> 00:15:02,801 the best brand ceiling insulation. 329 00:15:05,391 --> 00:15:07,491 Well, at least we got the best asbestos. 331 00:15:11,895 --> 00:15:13,429 I've told you, you're mine. 332 00:15:13,497 --> 00:15:16,197 And you can't escape the word 333 00:15:16,265 --> 00:15:18,133 of Jesus Christ. 334 00:15:18,201 --> 00:15:20,401 Burns, you shall reject Satan. 335 00:15:20,469 --> 00:15:22,136 Why can't you reject your guy? 336 00:15:22,204 --> 00:15:24,137 Because when I waat my lowest 337 00:15:24,205 --> 00:15:26,739 facing 50 years to life, 338 00:15:26,807 --> 00:15:29,276 someone handed me a book. 339 00:15:29,344 --> 00:15:31,579 I couldn't read a lick, 340 00:15:31,646 --> 00:15:33,714 but that picture of Jesus 341 00:15:33,782 --> 00:15:35,715 gave me a comfort I've never known. 342 00:15:37,317 --> 00:15:38,817 So I promised the Lord 343 00:15:38,885 --> 00:15:41,019 I'd put that 50 years to use 344 00:15:41,087 --> 00:15:44,121 reclaiming lost souls like you. 345 00:15:44,189 --> 00:15:45,689 Come to Jesus! 346 00:15:45,757 --> 00:15:46,957 Shan't. (thunder rumbles) 347 00:15:47,025 --> 00:15:48,559 Feel his power! 348 00:15:48,626 --> 00:15:50,494 I've died and come back-- it's overrated. 349 00:15:50,561 --> 00:15:52,596 Open your heart! (groaning) 351 00:15:54,065 --> 00:15:56,266 I will suck out your evil. 354 00:16:02,038 --> 00:16:04,372 And now, your evil is gone! 355 00:16:04,439 --> 00:16:07,543 (chuckles) I'm afraid that s just my pre-evil. 357 00:16:18,352 --> 00:16:19,752 I feel it. 358 00:16:19,820 --> 00:16:22,288 I feel the love coursing through my vein. 360 00:16:23,757 --> 00:16:25,857 Welcome to the Lord, brother. 361 00:16:25,925 --> 00:16:28,293 MR. BURNS: So, that hellhole became a Heavenhole. 362 00:16:28,361 --> 00:16:30,462 I joined the prison choir. 363 00:16:30,529 --> 00:16:32,663 d the the prison Beatles' tribute band. 364 00:16:32,731 --> 00:16:35,165 I raked a Zen garden in the courtyard 365 00:16:35,233 --> 00:16:38,401 and found a peace and serenity I'd never known. 366 00:16:48,812 --> 00:16:51,046 Who's carrying 50 times her weight? 367 00:16:51,113 --> 00:16:53,480 Ooh, you are. LISA: Bart? 368 00:16:53,548 --> 00:16:56,115 She's only carrying 30 times her weight. 369 00:16:56,183 --> 00:16:57,916 Our girl is slowing down. 370 00:16:57,984 --> 00:17:00,786 Oh, my God. That is so sad. 371 00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:02,888 It's the nur order of things. 372 00:17:02,955 --> 00:17:04,789 I'm afraid she's got another two, 373 00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:06,992 maybe three days, tops. 374 00:17:07,059 --> 00:17:09,594 Do we let her spend the st of her life in the wild? 375 00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:12,030 Or let her die in captivity, like Grampa? 376 00:17:12,098 --> 00:17:14,333 y, in myind I'm free. 377 00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:16,335 No you're not, ya idjit! 379 00:17:17,736 --> 00:17:20,368 It's official. 380 00:17:20,436 --> 00:17:22,869 Smithers is now worse than Mr. Bur. 381 00:17:22,936 --> 00:17:25,538 Instead of releasing hounds, he releases wolverines. 383 00:17:33,011 --> 00:17:34,611 I never thought I'd say this, 384 00:17:34,679 --> 00:17:36,646 but I wish Mr. Burns was back. 385 00:17:36,714 --> 00:17:38,981 Hey, if wishes were horses, I'd be eatin' 386 00:17:39,049 --> 00:17:41,383 wish-meat every night. What does that mean? 387 00:17:41,451 --> 00:17:43,719 It means, it's not like you're gonna break into the prison 388 00:17:43,787 --> 00:17:44,922 and bust him out or anything. 389 00:17:46,691 --> 00:17:49,158 Oh, hey, come on. You can't really 390 00:17:49,226 --> 00:17:51,191 be serious about breaking him out. 391 00:17:51,259 --> 00:17:52,858 It's too late to turn back, Moe. 392 00:17:52,926 --> 00:17:55,360 We've exchanged meaningful looks. 393 00:17:55,428 --> 00:17:56,894 No, you can still turn back. 394 00:17:56,962 --> 00:17:58,663 The point of no return is the whispered huddle. 396 00:18:00,131 --> 00:18:01,868 Oh, God. Oh, God! 398 00:18:10,710 --> 00:18:12,677 Burns, you're coming with us. No. 399 00:18:12,745 --> 00:18:14,445 No, let me go. 400 00:18:14,513 --> 00:18:16,280 Why would I want to leave the place 401 00:18:16,347 --> 00:18:18,114 where my soul was saved? 402 00:18:19,383 --> 00:18:21,217 And that's where we came in. 403 00:18:21,285 --> 00:18:23,052 Now, without further ado, 404 00:18:23,119 --> 00:18:25,053 here's what happened next. 405 00:18:25,121 --> 00:18:28,089 But first, I'll daydream about a sport utility vehicle, 406 00:18:28,157 --> 00:18:31,159 a crispy chicken sandwich and a wonderful blue pill. 407 00:18:34,651 --> 00:18:37,051 MAN: Hold it right there! 408 00:18:37,119 --> 00:18:38,820 You're not leaving with that man. 409 00:18:38,887 --> 00:18:40,254 He's born again. 410 00:18:40,322 --> 00:18:43,157 Been baptized in a toilet sink. 411 00:18:43,226 --> 00:18:45,796 (sotto voce): Everyone doesn't have to know that part. 412 00:18:45,864 --> 00:18:47,665 It's the specific detail that shows 413 00:18:47,733 --> 00:18:49,567 the humbling you've undergone. 414 00:18:49,635 --> 00:18:52,103 You don't have a "whisper" voice, do you? What? 415 00:18:53,937 --> 00:18:56,403 Good-bye, Annie, my eight-legged friend. 416 00:18:56,471 --> 00:18:58,204 Ants have six legs, Bart. 417 00:18:58,272 --> 00:18:59,471 Oh, thank God. 418 00:18:59,539 --> 00:19:00,906 I thought I broke two off. 419 00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:04,509 You're just a tiny ant, but you were strong enough 420 00:19:04,577 --> 00:19:06,544 to pull my brother and me together. 421 00:19:06,612 --> 00:19:08,245 Now go and be free. 422 00:19:17,319 --> 00:19:19,020 Look, if I leave with you, 423 00:19:19,088 --> 00:19:20,922 they're just going to throw me back in. 424 00:19:20,989 --> 00:19:22,589 The world has changed since you went in. 425 00:19:22,657 --> 00:19:24,491 Men of wealth can beat the system now. 426 00:19:24,559 --> 00:19:26,392 Yeah, and they've replaced parking meters 427 00:19:26,460 --> 00:19:28,594 with this thing you stick your credit card into. 428 00:19:28,661 --> 00:19:31,032 The war is over and the future won. 429 00:19:31,099 --> 00:19:33,767 The past never had a chance, man. 430 00:19:33,835 --> 00:19:36,972 Do you really want to leave with these idiots? 431 00:19:39,542 --> 00:19:40,876 I'm afraid so. 432 00:19:40,943 --> 00:19:43,011 But I cleansed you of your evil. 433 00:19:43,079 --> 00:19:45,313 I had a little left between my toes. 434 00:19:45,381 --> 00:19:48,450 It quickly multiplied, and now I'm a bigger bastard than ever. 435 00:19:48,518 --> 00:19:50,152 But I must know, 436 00:19:50,219 --> 00:19:52,020 what was it about me that made u try? 437 00:19:52,088 --> 00:19:55,023 Because I've killed so many rich white men, 438 00:19:55,091 --> 00:19:57,458 I thought I'd do right by at least one. 439 00:19:57,526 --> 00:19:59,926 We're not so different, you and I. 441 00:20:02,325 --> 00:20:04,057 Get your skinny ass out of here. 442 00:20:04,125 --> 00:20:06,123 Lollygags, slackabouts, 443 00:20:06,189 --> 00:20:08,490 Captain Happys-- you're all fired. 444 00:20:08,557 --> 00:20:10,791 I'll do the firing around here. 445 00:20:10,859 --> 00:20:12,726 Mr. Burns! 446 00:20:12,794 --> 00:20:14,961 You're even more beautiful than I remembered. 447 00:20:16,463 --> 00:20:18,201 All of you, out of my office. 449 00:20:28,214 --> 00:20:30,082 Farewell, friend. 450 00:20:30,149 --> 00:20:33,519 Maybe you'll find another lost lamb for your flock. 451 00:20:33,586 --> 00:20:37,522 Tell me, brother, have you heard the story of Jesus Christ? 452 00:20:37,590 --> 00:20:42,060 Well, I am Italian, but no.