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CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪
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(Willie grunts)
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D'oh!
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(grunts)
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(all scream)
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Oh, my God, Morty,
what did you do?
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-You killed the Simpsons, Morty!
-Oh, my God, no!
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-No, I-I-I-I didn't mean to!
-Oh, no, no!
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God, look at the baby one!
Oh, my God, Morty!
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You killed
the entire Simpsons, Morty!
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They're a beloved
(belches) family, Morty!
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They're-they're-they're-they're
a national treasure.
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-And you killed them.
-I-I-I-I'm just a kid!
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I'm just a kid!
I don't want to go to jail!
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Relax, Morty, calm down.
We'll take care of it.
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Okay, I want you to take
that vial of Simpsons' goo
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and this picture
to this address.
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They'll make us new Simpsons--
you understand me, Morty?
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-Me?! W-W-What are you gonna do?
-Morty,
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I got to clean this place up
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before somebody comes
snooping around.
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You know how many characters there are
in The Simpsons, Morty?
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There's, like, a billion
chara... (belches) ...aracters.
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They did an episode where
George Bush was their neighbor.
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Right, can't argue with that.
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(spits)
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(speaking in native tongue)
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(roaring)
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Hi-diddly-ho, neighbor!
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Looks like you got
a spaceship in your...
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Who are you?
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♪ ♪
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Rick, I'm back!
Wake up! Wake up!
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Geez, it's about time, Morty.
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Give me those.
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(grunting, moaning)
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(belching)
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Huh, wow.
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Hey, Morty, a little tip.
(belches)
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Don't clean DNA vials
with your spit!
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Let's go.
I'm driving this time.
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{\an8}Aw, no more guest animators,
man!
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{\an8}Okay, children.
I think it's safe now
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{\an8}to put on your math T-shirts.
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{\an8}Wait here.
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{\an8}(grunts)
Nerd!
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{\an8}Model U.N., and step on it!
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{\an8}Ha-ha!
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{\an8}(laughing)
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{\an8}Very good.
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{\an8}That is really... Oh!
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{\an8}Dog in box.
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{\an8}Genius.
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{\an8}(laughing)
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{\an8}All right, let's meet our two teams
of Mathletes, shall we?
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{\an8}First, the Springfield
Elementary Action Fractions!
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{\an8}They rhyme and they...
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{\an8}(groans)
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{\an8}And, uh, from the right side
of the tracks,
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{\an8}the Waverly Hills Elementary
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{\an8}No Equals.
They're spoiled and rich.
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{\an8}Yo! What did the right angle
say to the wider angle?
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{\an8}Well, not knowing these fellows,
I-I couldn't say.
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{\an8}You're obtuse!
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{\an8}(all laughing)
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{\an8}(groans)
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{\an8}Now, let's welcome our celebrity guests,
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{\an8}former winners of this very contest
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{\an8}and current high-flying--
yes, you heard me--
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{\an8}I said high-flying, high flying--
tech entrepreneurs!
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{\an8}Gary, Doug and Benjamin,
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{\an8}who invented Whereditgo.
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{\an8}That's an app that finds
the other apps on your phone.
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{\an8}Enables you to glayvin
with your friends' mobile hoyvin.
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{\an8}One year ago,
we were dateless nerds
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{\an8}living in our mothers' basements.
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{\an8}Now the basement we live in
is in a giant mansion.
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{\an8}-Yeah!
-Yeah!
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{\an8}And we own some kind of sports team.
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{\an8}(laughs)
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{\an8}All right,
calm down, just calm down.
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{\an8}Now, here to support
these fine student scholars
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{\an8}is the man who loves math...
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{\an8}Math?!
I thought you said "meth"!
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{\an8}Drug reference!
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{\an8}Uh, seriously,
what am I here for?
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{\an8}-Nobody told you?
-They send a limo, I get in.
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{\an8}It takes me somewhere.
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{\an8}Then I watch the news later
to see what I did.
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{\an8}(crowd cheers and applauds)
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{\an8}What a nightmare.
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{\an8}That's fair enough.
Boo-hayvin!
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{\an8}The teams have created
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{\an8}introductory videos about themselves.
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Let's watch them,
shall we, with our eyes?
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NARRATOR: Springfield Elementary
was originally designed
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as a storage facility for salt pork.
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At some later point,
it was turned into a school.
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{\an8}CHALMERS:
Chalmskinn.
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{\an8}On hot days, pork grease
still comes out of the walls.
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{\an8}Oh, quit your whining.
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{\an8}FRINK:
And now, Waverly Hills.
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{\an8}Hi, I'm movie genius
Michael Bay.
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I used to be all like, "Math?
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Who needs that noise,
am I right?"
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But I wasn't right.
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The Waverly Hills math team
made me realize
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that quadratic equations
are hotter
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than a million Megan Foxes.
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Math on!
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Yo, Waverly Hills!
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You guys rock!
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Like my friend The Rock!
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I know his real first name!
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It's Dwayne!
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I win Hollywood!
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Celebrate now,
you stuck-up snobs.
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(cheering)
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But our plucky little school
is going to surprise you.
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We will surprise you all!
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-(cheering)
-Well, Lisa,
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we didn't score a single point.
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That was surprising.
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(crying)
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Oh, you'll get them
next time, honey.
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No! No, we won't!
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That school is so rich!
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Every kid has a laptop!
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Her crying is sadder
than a child actor
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"Where are they now?" story.
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LISA:
It's true.
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As graduates
of Springfield Elementary,
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we want to give back.
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We're going to buy
every student a tablet computer
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and upgrade your entire school
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with the latest
cloud-based technology.
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{\an8}Here's a check.
Take this check.
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NARRATOR:
The first black president...
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is decades away
from being a reality.
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Come back with my fall semester!
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We don't need filmstrips like
Life in These 48 States anymore,
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because our school is going all digital!
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-(grunts)
-WILLIE: Ow, damn it!
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The teachers union won't stand for this.
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It means less work for you.
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I didn't know
it was possible to do less work.
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How intriguing.
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♪ He said
I've been to the year 3000 ♪
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-♪ Not much has changed ♪
-♪ Not much has changed ♪
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-♪ But they lived underwater ♪
-♪ Underwater ♪
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♪ And your great-great-great
granddaughter ♪
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♪ Is pretty fine ♪
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♪ Is pretty fine ♪
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♪ I took a trip to the year 3000 ♪
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♪ This song had gone
multiplatinum ♪
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♪ Everybody bought
our seventh album... ♪
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And if we're ever invaded,
just click this.
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♪ I took a trip to the year 3000 ♪
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♪ This song had gone multiplatinum ♪
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♪ Everybody bought our seventh album ♪
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Oh, it's wonderful.
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We can finally afford
attractive teachers.
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(groans)
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I was the only one here
who understood osmosis.
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Spare me, uggo.
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(groans)
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Willie, since all our books
have been digitized,
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we have no need
for the paper versions-- burn these.
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Wouldn't it be easier
just to toss them out?
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Nonsense!
We now have this state-of-the-art
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-digital book burner.
-Hmm.
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(laughs)
Listen to her hum.
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{\an8}What's that?!
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{\an8}Well, we didn't want to leave you
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{\an8}out of the digital revolution.
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{\an8}Willie, meet your new supervisor.
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{\an8}Aw, I have to take orders
from a machine?
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{\an8}Oh, it can't speak.
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{\an8}But should it ever learn, yes.
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("Star Spangled Banner" playing)
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(groans)
Will there ever be a technology
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that teaches stupid children
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how to ding a dang triangle?!
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This school has spent the last 50 years
mired in the 1960s.
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Let us spend the next 50
mired in now!
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(singsongy)
Bo-ron!
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{\an8}And with this ring,
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{\an8}we unite these ancient
warring clans,
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{\an8}who frolic unclothed,
even in winter,
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{\an8}and bring peace to Decapita!
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(screams)
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Pay cable is awesome!
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Who knew they had nipples
in castle times?
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You're not supposed to be able
to get outside our network!
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You shouldn't have made
your password "password."
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Well, it was the name
of the street I grew up on.
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Password Drive!
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(crackling and buzzing)
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Seymour,
you plugged the servers in
200
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with surge protectors, didn't you?
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Oh, yes, power strips.
202
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You fool.
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Surge protectors
are always power strips.
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But not vice versa!
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(screaming)
206
00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:09,634
Was that us?
207
00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:10,875
No, sir.
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00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:13,387
(chuckles)
I like it when it's not us.
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00:09:20,476 --> 00:09:23,806
(clock ticking)
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00:09:31,195 --> 00:09:32,315
Let's see.
211
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:33,695
Roman numerals.
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00:09:33,781 --> 00:09:35,031
Photosynthesis.
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00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:37,236
Uh, Robert E. Lee.
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00:09:37,326 --> 00:09:39,906
Miss Hoover, are you teaching
or are you just saying
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00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:41,996
anything that comes
into your head?
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00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:44,421
Miss Hoover,
please report to the main office.
217
00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:46,590
You just did that in your hand!
218
00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:48,499
Ralph Wiggum, put your head down.
219
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,758
You're the mouth-hand!
220
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,930
All right, class.
We don't have computers,
221
00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:54,679
and we don't have keyboards.
222
00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:57,350
But that doesn't mean
we can't practice our typing.
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Now, put your index fingers
224
00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:02,940
on marshmallows F and J, and...
225
00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:04,189
tap-tap-tap.
226
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:05,520
Tap-tap-tap.
227
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:07,605
Tap-tap...
Nelson, stop that!
228
00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:09,320
This is my dinner.
229
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,610
I'm eating steak.
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Mmm! Mmm!
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Needs sauce.
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Great news, children.
I found an educational movie
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00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:23,374
I can play on my phone.
234
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,706
Crowd in--
it's kind of a little phone.
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{\an8}NARRATOR:
Mathematics! Agriculture!
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00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:29,673
{\an8}Are there two more exciting words?
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{\an8}Since the time of the Romans,
they used scythes
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{\an8}to kill each other.
239
00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:36,718
{\an8}The ancient farmer needed tools
to measure his land.
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Ten stick knots right.
241
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,468
Five left.
242
00:10:40,556 --> 00:10:41,716
Hmm.
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00:10:41,807 --> 00:10:44,687
(humming a tune)
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00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:47,809
Oh, come to mock ol' Willie,
have you?
245
00:10:47,897 --> 00:10:51,777
"Ooh, Willie has to work
in the hot sun all day.
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00:10:51,859 --> 00:10:55,489
Willie's best friend
is a stick and a string."
247
00:10:55,571 --> 00:10:57,071
I'm not here to mock you.
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"Ooh, Willie doesn't know
when someone's being sincere!"
249
00:11:01,744 --> 00:11:02,874
I'm just here to hang out.
250
00:11:02,953 --> 00:11:04,753
What's that device
you're using?
251
00:11:04,830 --> 00:11:06,830
My rummlie scob.
Nothing exciting.
252
00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:10,416
Just a measuring stick dating
back to the ancient druids.
253
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:13,263
Oh!
Could you tell me how it works?
254
00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:16,299
Each knot marks the length
of a sheep's bladder.
255
00:11:16,384 --> 00:11:20,854
A play field
is 75 stomachs by 52 kidneys.
256
00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:24,060
That's 163 square haggises.
257
00:11:24,141 --> 00:11:25,481
Move over, metric system!
258
00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:28,189
I'm learning the gastric system!
259
00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:29,360
Clever.
260
00:11:29,438 --> 00:11:30,818
Uh, good news, sir,
I have assembled
261
00:11:30,898 --> 00:11:34,188
a page on "the piglims"
at "Rhymouth Pock."
262
00:11:34,276 --> 00:11:35,946
Yes, well,
that's the best we can hope for.
263
00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:38,858
Uh, apply the transparent tape.
264
00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:41,778
Principal Skin-ner!
265
00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:44,867
Willie has showed me
that losing our technology
266
00:11:44,954 --> 00:11:47,164
doesn't have to be
the end of our learning.
267
00:11:47,248 --> 00:11:50,078
We can turn our school
into a Waldorf school.
268
00:11:50,167 --> 00:11:51,457
You mean like the hotel?
269
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,304
Nope!
In elementary school,
270
00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:55,049
Waldorf education focuses
271
00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:57,721
on hands-on activity
and creative play.
272
00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,550
In secondary education...
273
00:11:59,635 --> 00:12:01,135
Ah, not our problem.
274
00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:03,510
After sixth grade,
it's good-bye and good luck.
275
00:12:03,597 --> 00:12:05,387
-(both chuckling)
-Yes, yes, it is.
276
00:12:05,474 --> 00:12:07,394
Well, it sounds good,
but I have one more question.
277
00:12:07,476 --> 00:12:09,976
Is it based on the book
where you find the guy in the hat?
278
00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:12,312
Where's Waldo?
That's not even the name.
279
00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:15,188
I'm surprised you guys didn't think
it was based on the salad.
280
00:12:15,276 --> 00:12:17,146
BOTH:
There's a Waldorf salad?
281
00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:18,646
(groans)
282
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:21,278
Behold--
Waldorf education in action!
283
00:12:21,365 --> 00:12:24,575
We're getting our hands dirty
and learning by doing.
284
00:12:24,660 --> 00:12:27,910
So I have to make 360 sloppy joes,
285
00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:30,617
but I only have one pound
of hamburger meat.
286
00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:34,248
How many cubic feet
of Styrofoam peanuts should I add?
287
00:12:34,336 --> 00:12:36,456
Assuming four peanuts per joe,
288
00:12:36,547 --> 00:12:38,337
37 cubic feet.
289
00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:40,764
Well, you're a smart little fatso.
290
00:12:40,843 --> 00:12:44,103
{\an8}It says here that students
don't have to raise their hands.
291
00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:45,180
They should just ask every question
292
00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:46,684
that comes to their mind.
293
00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:48,926
Oh. Why are pine needles pointy?
294
00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:50,478
And, um-um-um, what's the difference
295
00:12:50,561 --> 00:12:52,441
between an asteroid and a meteor?
296
00:12:52,521 --> 00:12:54,021
And, mm... ooh-ooh!
297
00:12:54,106 --> 00:12:56,356
Can you shrug anything
other than your shoulders?
298
00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:57,692
(sighs)
299
00:12:57,777 --> 00:12:59,817
Does anyone else
have any questions?
300
00:12:59,904 --> 00:13:02,784
Um, if Mommy's purse
didn't belong in the microwave,
301
00:13:02,865 --> 00:13:04,445
why did it fit?
302
00:13:04,533 --> 00:13:07,873
We won't need computers,
we won't need books.
303
00:13:07,953 --> 00:13:09,913
I learned not to drink
out of the crick.
304
00:13:09,997 --> 00:13:12,787
You mean this isn't
crick water?
305
00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:14,035
My daddy raised me
306
00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:17,706
and all my 11 dead siblings
on crick water!
307
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,757
Huh, everyone wears a hat.
308
00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:22,380
Sun hats in the summer,
wool hats in the winter.
309
00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:23,678
{\an8}Ooh, look at this.
310
00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:26,471
{\an8}Weekly Friday night parents' meetings.
311
00:13:26,555 --> 00:13:27,715
Oh... Wait.
312
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,227
There might be a safety hatch.
313
00:13:29,308 --> 00:13:30,728
Does the apostrophe come before
314
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:33,310
or after the "S" on "parents"?
315
00:13:33,395 --> 00:13:36,225
After, which means both parents.
316
00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:40,565
(groaning)
317
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:42,283
Well, I'm not wearing a hat.
318
00:13:42,363 --> 00:13:44,073
People might think I'm bald.
319
00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:47,199
(Homer grunting)
320
00:13:48,619 --> 00:13:49,999
Before we share announcements
321
00:13:50,079 --> 00:13:52,209
and see the results
of grade three's
322
00:13:52,289 --> 00:13:54,879
dance study
of willows and drooping trees,
323
00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:57,629
we greet the day with a school song.
324
00:13:57,711 --> 00:13:59,301
Now I have to sing a song?!
325
00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:00,760
Why did those idiots mix up
326
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,800
power strips and surge protectors?
327
00:14:02,883 --> 00:14:06,723
♪ Every single living creature ♪
328
00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:09,894
♪ Every cat and every flea ♪
329
00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:14,564
♪ All things with a facial feature ♪
330
00:14:14,645 --> 00:14:17,685
♪ Have the right to smile at me ♪
331
00:14:17,773 --> 00:14:21,693
♪ Every family is a unit ♪
332
00:14:21,777 --> 00:14:26,117
♪ Sometimes yelling,
sometimes mad ♪
333
00:14:26,198 --> 00:14:30,408
♪ Divorced or gay or even foster ♪
334
00:14:30,494 --> 00:14:34,334
♪ Even Billy with three dads ♪
335
00:14:36,333 --> 00:14:38,173
HOMER:
I feel like Beethoven
336
00:14:38,252 --> 00:14:41,922
when Charles Grodin
finally accepted him as his dog.
337
00:14:46,635 --> 00:14:48,715
This school is so great now.
338
00:14:48,804 --> 00:14:50,184
Kids learn by doing.
339
00:14:50,264 --> 00:14:51,774
If it's so great,
why aren't you helping
340
00:14:51,849 --> 00:14:53,059
your kids do their homework?
341
00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:55,062
Bart's here doing it right now.
342
00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:57,194
No, no, no!
Not two-thirds, one-half!
343
00:14:57,271 --> 00:14:58,981
Now that's one-third each.
344
00:14:59,064 --> 00:15:02,234
Now you're learning!
(laughs)
345
00:15:02,318 --> 00:15:04,068
Enjoy.
346
00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:07,571
{\an8}One earthworm...
Gah!
347
00:15:07,656 --> 00:15:08,986
{\an8}Two halves.
348
00:15:09,074 --> 00:15:10,994
ALL:
Wow!
349
00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:12,406
{\an8}Willie! Willie!
350
00:15:12,494 --> 00:15:15,044
{\an8}They want you to coach
our school math team!
351
00:15:15,122 --> 00:15:17,922
{\an8}I'll have to check
with my supervisor.
352
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,710
{\an8}(dings twice)
353
00:15:19,793 --> 00:15:20,923
{\an8}Good to go!
354
00:15:21,003 --> 00:15:24,213
So, if Willie gets paid
three cents per square foot
355
00:15:24,298 --> 00:15:26,588
for seeding, and if the field
356
00:15:26,675 --> 00:15:29,675
is 2,500 square feet,
357
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:31,102
what is Willie getting?
358
00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:33,310
I'd say "screwed."
359
00:15:33,390 --> 00:15:34,890
(groans)
You're right!
360
00:15:34,975 --> 00:15:37,015
You! Chalmers!
361
00:15:37,102 --> 00:15:38,692
Aah!
362
00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:40,271
-Uh-oh.
-(tires screech)
363
00:15:40,356 --> 00:15:43,276
Come back here,
you Willie-chiseling cheat!
364
00:15:45,402 --> 00:15:46,492
(grunting)
365
00:15:46,570 --> 00:15:47,820
(tires screeching)
366
00:15:47,905 --> 00:15:50,485
(horn honking)
367
00:15:50,574 --> 00:15:52,794
Hey, who threw that egg
368
00:15:52,868 --> 00:15:55,748
at the most efficient
45-degree angle?
369
00:15:55,829 --> 00:15:57,919
It was me, sir.
370
00:15:57,998 --> 00:16:00,708
Kids,
meet your new math team captain.
371
00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:02,093
It's about time.
372
00:16:02,169 --> 00:16:03,839
But I'm the captain.
373
00:16:03,921 --> 00:16:05,011
Not anymore.
374
00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:06,379
I can't see.
375
00:16:06,465 --> 00:16:08,255
I can't see.
376
00:16:13,347 --> 00:16:16,057
Welcome to the long-anticipated rematch
377
00:16:16,141 --> 00:16:19,441
between Waverly Hills and Springfield.
378
00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:21,190
(crowd cheering)
379
00:16:21,271 --> 00:16:23,021
(grunting)
380
00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:26,817
Um, can you tell me
which college I should go to?
381
00:16:26,902 --> 00:16:29,492
(stammers)
It's not a sorting hat!
382
00:16:29,571 --> 00:16:32,621
Please!
Early applications are due next week!
383
00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:33,990
All right.
384
00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:36,616
Uh, Miami of Ohio.
385
00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:39,044
(groans)
Okay.
386
00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:41,713
Our first question is a toss-up.
387
00:16:41,792 --> 00:16:43,882
"What is the least common multiple
388
00:16:43,961 --> 00:16:46,711
of six, eight and 16?"
389
00:16:46,797 --> 00:16:48,967
-48!
-Is correct!
390
00:16:49,049 --> 00:16:50,219
(all gasp)
391
00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:52,590
Whoa!
No one said there'd be math!
392
00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:53,968
We said there'd be nothing but math!
393
00:16:54,054 --> 00:16:57,024
And you're the math team captain!
394
00:16:57,099 --> 00:16:59,139
I thought
I wouldn't have to do anything.
395
00:16:59,226 --> 00:17:01,476
You know,
like an Italian cruise ship captain.
396
00:17:01,562 --> 00:17:03,402
You're lucky that captain's not here
397
00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:05,190
right now to answer your insult!
398
00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:07,994
He'd crash a ship
right into your house!
399
00:17:08,068 --> 00:17:09,488
Aah!
400
00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:12,490
("Pi" by Kate Bush playing)
401
00:17:20,956 --> 00:17:23,786
♪ Oh, he love, he love, he love ♪
402
00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:25,706
♪ He does love his numbers ♪
403
00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:30,129
♪ And they run, they run ♪
404
00:17:30,215 --> 00:17:33,045
♪ They run him in a great big circle ♪
405
00:17:35,554 --> 00:17:39,314
♪ In a circle of infinity ♪
406
00:17:41,852 --> 00:17:44,442
ESPN isn't covering this.
407
00:17:45,314 --> 00:17:46,774
D'oh!
408
00:17:46,857 --> 00:17:50,027
♪ Three point one, four ♪
409
00:17:50,110 --> 00:17:54,410
♪ One, five, nine ♪
410
00:17:57,367 --> 00:18:01,457
♪ Two, six, five, three, five ♪
411
00:18:01,538 --> 00:18:04,668
♪ Eight, nine, seven, nine ♪
412
00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:07,880
♪ Three, two ♪
413
00:18:07,961 --> 00:18:12,091
And so,
with the score knotted at 29-all,
414
00:18:12,174 --> 00:18:15,224
it comes down to one last question.
415
00:18:16,804 --> 00:18:19,224
Drawing three straight lines,
416
00:18:19,306 --> 00:18:22,016
construct nine non-overlapping--
417
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:24,021
that's non-overlapping,
not overlapping,
418
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:27,443
but non-overlapping--
triangles.
419
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:38,034
HOMER:
Huh? Ooh.
420
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:39,867
(chuckles)
421
00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:41,202
I have the answer!
422
00:18:41,286 --> 00:18:42,696
(all gasp)
423
00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:44,458
As someone whose dad's hair
424
00:18:44,540 --> 00:18:46,880
is made of Ms, it's child's play.
425
00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:49,459
HOMER: Oh, not this again.
426
00:18:50,462 --> 00:18:52,632
Whoo-hoo! I'm a solution!
427
00:18:52,714 --> 00:18:55,554
The Action Fractions win!
428
00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:57,724
You guys might be richer
and better looking,
429
00:18:57,803 --> 00:19:01,473
but we won a contest
to even the series!
430
00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:05,889
Mm, that'll look great
in our trophy case.
431
00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:07,228
Willie, build a trophy case.
432
00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:08,862
Aye, sir.
433
00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:12,399
But you know what we should
really thank for our success?
434
00:19:13,485 --> 00:19:15,195
Lower standards!
435
00:19:15,279 --> 00:19:17,239
ALL:
Lower standards!
436
00:19:17,322 --> 00:19:18,322
Aye.
437
00:19:24,079 --> 00:19:26,829
You're wonderful, Willie.
438
00:19:26,915 --> 00:19:29,625
You and the ancient
Scottish scientist
439
00:19:29,710 --> 00:19:32,460
that invented the rummlie scob.
440
00:19:32,546 --> 00:19:36,176
Well, the truth is,
it wasn't invented for science.
441
00:19:36,258 --> 00:19:37,338
Really?
442
00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:39,006
Then what for?
443
00:19:39,094 --> 00:19:42,014
Oh, it was used
for hanging sheep stealers!
444
00:19:42,097 --> 00:19:44,347
The wee knots
kept them alive longer
445
00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:46,523
to make the punishment
more cruel.
446
00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:49,232
(shudders) Maybe I don't want
to know these things.
447
00:19:49,313 --> 00:19:51,693
Can you say something
nice about Scotland?
448
00:19:51,773 --> 00:19:54,443
Well,
sometimes the fog comes in
449
00:19:54,526 --> 00:19:57,026
and covers everything terrible.
450
00:19:57,112 --> 00:19:58,532
Very atmospheric.
451
00:19:58,614 --> 00:20:00,704
Oh.
452
00:20:06,955 --> 00:20:09,535
♪ ♪
453
00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:18,049
(gulping)
454
00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:13,904
Shh!
455
00:21:17,025 --> 00:21:19,945
Subtitled by Jimmy Boots