1
00:00:13,176 --> 00:00:23,960
Sync By YesCool
www.addic7ed.com
2
00:01:33,522 --> 00:01:34,822
(homer chuckles) Thanks to out new
gps, i can have to the school in no-time.
3
00:01:34,890 --> 00:01:36,891
Female voice:
Turn right in 50 meters.
4
00:01:36,958 --> 00:01:38,459
Oh, meters?!
5
00:01:38,527 --> 00:01:41,228
Dad, a meter is three inches
longer than a yard,
6
00:01:41,296 --> 00:01:42,563
Which is 36 inches,
7
00:01:42,631 --> 00:01:45,399
So 50 divided by 39
times 36 equals...
8
00:01:45,467 --> 00:01:46,600
You have missed your turn.
9
00:01:46,668 --> 00:01:47,968
Recalculating.
10
00:01:48,036 --> 00:01:50,304
Turn right in .5 meters.
11
00:01:50,372 --> 00:01:51,572
Dad, no.
12
00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:53,107
That takes us
into a construction site.
13
00:01:53,174 --> 00:01:55,209
Stupid kid thinks he's
smarter than a computer.
14
00:01:56,811 --> 00:01:58,679
Seat belts, kids.
15
00:01:58,747 --> 00:02:00,748
(tires squealing)
16
00:02:00,815 --> 00:02:03,050
(homer wailing)
17
00:02:03,118 --> 00:02:05,986
Turn left. Turn right.
Turn left. Turn right.
18
00:02:06,054 --> 00:02:08,556
(homer moaning)
19
00:02:13,828 --> 00:02:16,797
Decrease elevation ten feet,
then turn left.
20
00:02:16,865 --> 00:02:17,998
D'oh!
21
00:02:19,301 --> 00:02:21,068
You have reached
your destination.
22
00:02:22,337 --> 00:02:24,004
Thanks for the ride.
Bye, dad!
23
00:02:24,072 --> 00:02:26,874
Turn right in 2.3 kilometers...
24
00:02:26,942 --> 00:02:28,008
Why, you...
(grunts)
25
00:02:28,076 --> 00:02:29,276
Recalculating.
26
00:02:29,344 --> 00:02:32,146
So cold. So cold.
(electronic crackling)
27
00:02:32,213 --> 00:02:34,081
(children laughing and shouting)
28
00:02:47,128 --> 00:02:48,562
(squeaks)
29
00:02:49,764 --> 00:02:51,465
(swallows)
30
00:02:51,533 --> 00:02:53,033
Where's mrs. K.?
31
00:02:53,101 --> 00:02:54,635
Mrs. Krabappel had
to go to portland.
32
00:02:54,703 --> 00:02:55,869
Apparently, the
people she hired
33
00:02:55,937 --> 00:02:57,638
To deprogram her
sister from that cult
34
00:02:57,706 --> 00:02:59,373
Turned out to be an
even worse cult.
35
00:02:59,441 --> 00:03:00,741
So, who's going
to take her place?
36
00:03:00,809 --> 00:03:01,809
Me, I hope.
37
00:03:01,876 --> 00:03:03,911
Not you. Never you.
38
00:03:03,979 --> 00:03:05,813
And due to budget cuts,
until edna comes back,
39
00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:07,448
I have no choice
but to merge
40
00:03:07,515 --> 00:03:09,283
The school's two
fourth grade classes.
41
00:03:09,351 --> 00:03:11,318
(students gasping)
the other fourth grade?
42
00:03:11,386 --> 00:03:13,120
But they're so different
from us.
43
00:03:13,188 --> 00:03:15,322
They have music
on tuesdays.
44
00:03:15,390 --> 00:03:18,058
Their teacher
takes her shoes off.
45
00:03:18,126 --> 00:03:20,561
Their twins are
one boy, one girl.
46
00:03:20,629 --> 00:03:22,196
Weird.
47
00:03:25,367 --> 00:03:27,568
(sighs)
all right, new kids,
48
00:03:27,636 --> 00:03:30,437
Jam your chairs into
my kids' desks.
49
00:03:30,505 --> 00:03:32,640
Is anyone here?
Oh, whatever.
50
00:03:32,707 --> 00:03:34,041
Is anyone here?
Whatever.
51
00:03:34,109 --> 00:03:35,909
Is anyone here?
Whatever.
52
00:03:35,977 --> 00:03:36,977
Is anyone here?
Is anyone here?
53
00:03:37,045 --> 00:03:38,012
Whatever.
Whatever.
54
00:03:38,079 --> 00:03:39,480
'sup? I'm bodhi.
55
00:03:39,547 --> 00:03:41,348
Do you surf?
No.
56
00:03:41,416 --> 00:03:42,916
My parents took me
to hawaii once,
57
00:03:42,984 --> 00:03:44,351
But I was intimidated
58
00:03:44,419 --> 00:03:46,053
By the physiques
of the local kids,
59
00:03:46,121 --> 00:03:48,055
So I just stayed
in the hotel room.
60
00:03:48,123 --> 00:03:49,089
That's cool.
61
00:03:49,157 --> 00:03:50,891
No, it's not cool.
62
00:03:50,959 --> 00:03:52,259
(grunts)
63
00:03:54,062 --> 00:03:56,063
You are so dead.
64
00:03:56,131 --> 00:03:58,098
Sorry. Let me get
that for you.
65
00:03:58,166 --> 00:04:01,135
(gasps)
you're blind.
66
00:04:01,202 --> 00:04:04,104
If anyone messes with this
kid, I will destroy them.
67
00:04:04,172 --> 00:04:05,839
It's okay. No one's
messing with me.
68
00:04:05,907 --> 00:04:07,174
You're not a freak,
69
00:04:07,242 --> 00:04:09,243
And I won't let you
think that about yourself.
70
00:04:09,310 --> 00:04:10,844
I don't think
I'm a freak.
71
00:04:10,912 --> 00:04:12,646
So brave.
72
00:04:12,714 --> 00:04:14,515
Hmm. Huh.
73
00:04:14,582 --> 00:04:16,850
Um, this is the
last seat, so...
74
00:04:20,889 --> 00:04:23,757
My side, your side.
75
00:04:23,825 --> 00:04:24,758
Hi, nikki.
76
00:04:24,826 --> 00:04:25,926
I'm bart.
77
00:04:25,994 --> 00:04:27,528
This situation,
it's nuts, right?
78
00:04:27,595 --> 00:04:29,129
Oh, look at you--
79
00:04:29,197 --> 00:04:31,398
Opening a book so you
won't have to talk to me.
80
00:04:31,466 --> 00:04:34,368
Well, I'm just going to be
tuning up the old armpit.
81
00:04:34,436 --> 00:04:35,536
(blows tone)
82
00:04:35,603 --> 00:04:37,738
(mimics sound
of passing gas)
83
00:04:37,806 --> 00:04:39,206
Good news, children.
84
00:04:39,274 --> 00:04:41,542
Everyone did well on this test,
except...
85
00:04:41,609 --> 00:04:43,777
Lisa simpson, f.
86
00:04:43,845 --> 00:04:45,045
An f?!
87
00:04:45,113 --> 00:04:47,514
Okay, this is the time
when I always wake up.
88
00:04:47,582 --> 00:04:49,983
Come on, alarm clock,
get me out of this.
89
00:04:50,051 --> 00:04:53,020
(imitates blaring alarm)
90
00:04:53,088 --> 00:04:55,689
Sorry, lisa--
this f is all too real.
91
00:04:55,757 --> 00:04:57,758
No it's not,
dream hoover.
92
00:04:57,826 --> 00:05:00,160
And as long as I'm asleep,
I'm going to have some fun.
93
00:05:00,228 --> 00:05:01,228
I can fly!
94
00:05:01,296 --> 00:05:02,362
Wheeee!
95
00:05:02,430 --> 00:05:04,565
(grunts, groans)
96
00:05:04,632 --> 00:05:06,200
This isn't a dream.
97
00:05:06,267 --> 00:05:08,001
I really did fail.
98
00:05:08,069 --> 00:05:09,903
I take no joy in this.
99
00:05:09,971 --> 00:05:11,171
(muttering):
Little miss perfect.
100
00:05:12,474 --> 00:05:13,907
Bart:
Whoa.
101
00:05:13,975 --> 00:05:16,410
Damn, this
caterpillar can eat.
102
00:05:16,478 --> 00:05:18,178
(gasps) damn.
103
00:05:18,246 --> 00:05:19,913
Damn!
104
00:05:19,981 --> 00:05:21,782
Do you mind?
105
00:05:21,850 --> 00:05:25,152
Oh, man, you girls ruin
everything-- even vampires.
106
00:05:25,220 --> 00:05:27,721
Hey, vampires
are cool outsiders
107
00:05:27,789 --> 00:05:29,990
Who love girls
who hate cheerleaders.
108
00:05:30,058 --> 00:05:32,226
No, they're all
about chomping neck.
109
00:05:32,293 --> 00:05:33,994
And they don't put
product in their hair
110
00:05:34,062 --> 00:05:35,095
Like this loser.
111
00:05:36,931 --> 00:05:38,866
They look like this.
112
00:05:40,168 --> 00:05:41,935
Nikki:
Awesome picture.
113
00:05:42,003 --> 00:05:43,637
Can I draw a robot
barfing screws
114
00:05:43,705 --> 00:05:45,139
On your arm with
my sharpie?
115
00:05:45,206 --> 00:05:47,441
I... I'd like that.
116
00:05:50,245 --> 00:05:51,745
(laughing)
117
00:05:51,813 --> 00:05:54,181
And... Finished.
118
00:05:57,585 --> 00:05:59,253
An f. An f!
119
00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:01,755
I hope harvard never finds out
about this.
120
00:06:01,823 --> 00:06:03,757
(whirring)
121
00:06:06,561 --> 00:06:07,828
Huh?
122
00:06:07,896 --> 00:06:09,563
Can I teeter
while you totter?
123
00:06:09,631 --> 00:06:11,064
Ever since you got
that bad grade,
124
00:06:11,132 --> 00:06:12,599
You seem a lot cooler.
125
00:06:12,667 --> 00:06:15,035
Lisa, you want
to come skip rope?
126
00:06:15,103 --> 00:06:16,136
You can replace the tree.
127
00:06:16,204 --> 00:06:17,171
Eat lunch with me.
128
00:06:17,238 --> 00:06:18,438
Share my locker.
129
00:06:18,506 --> 00:06:20,107
Come to my
birthday party.
130
00:06:20,175 --> 00:06:21,909
Love me.
131
00:06:21,976 --> 00:06:24,411
Wow. This is kind of great.
132
00:06:24,479 --> 00:06:26,380
Lisa, can I speak
to you for a moment?
133
00:06:26,447 --> 00:06:27,614
Uh-oh.
134
00:06:27,682 --> 00:06:30,117
Looks like I'm in more trouble.
135
00:06:30,185 --> 00:06:31,485
(chuckles)
136
00:06:31,553 --> 00:06:33,220
Born to be bad.
137
00:06:33,288 --> 00:06:35,155
(children laughing)
138
00:06:35,223 --> 00:06:36,824
There was a mix-up
with your test.
139
00:06:36,891 --> 00:06:38,292
(sighs)
you got
140
00:06:38,359 --> 00:06:40,093
An a-triple-plus.
Seems the f
141
00:06:40,161 --> 00:06:41,228
Belonged to ralph.
142
00:06:41,296 --> 00:06:42,663
I cheated wrong.
143
00:06:42,730 --> 00:06:46,466
I copied the lisa name
and used the ralph answers.
144
00:06:48,870 --> 00:06:51,805
Children:
Gifted! Gifted! Gifted!
145
00:06:51,873 --> 00:06:53,207
I'm just advanced.
146
00:06:53,274 --> 00:06:54,675
You can catch up.
147
00:06:54,742 --> 00:06:56,243
Children:
Gifted!
148
00:06:56,311 --> 00:06:59,279
Dad, I know we don't normally
talk about this stuff,
149
00:06:59,347 --> 00:07:01,915
But there's this girl at school
I kind of like.
150
00:07:01,983 --> 00:07:05,118
Anyway, I'm really
hoping you could...
151
00:07:05,186 --> 00:07:06,386
Dad?
152
00:07:06,454 --> 00:07:07,654
Hey, boy.
(screams)
153
00:07:07,722 --> 00:07:08,622
(chuckles)
your mother thinks
154
00:07:08,690 --> 00:07:10,057
I'm working on the car.
155
00:07:10,124 --> 00:07:12,759
Dad, that is genius,
but I need some advice.
156
00:07:12,827 --> 00:07:13,994
Homer?
157
00:07:14,062 --> 00:07:15,996
I thought you
were fixing my brakes.
158
00:07:16,064 --> 00:07:18,599
(panicked screaming)
159
00:07:18,666 --> 00:07:20,500
But I need to talk
about man stuff.
160
00:07:20,568 --> 00:07:21,835
Talk to grampa.
161
00:07:21,903 --> 00:07:23,470
He used to
be a man.
He did?
162
00:07:23,538 --> 00:07:25,172
(grunting)
163
00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:28,275
Give up the goods,
you yellow devil!
164
00:07:28,343 --> 00:07:30,310
So, I kind of like this girl
at school,
165
00:07:30,378 --> 00:07:32,512
But I'm not sure
if she likes me back.
166
00:07:32,580 --> 00:07:35,115
There's one sure
way to find out
167
00:07:35,183 --> 00:07:37,985
If a girl likes
you-- steal a kiss.
168
00:07:38,052 --> 00:07:39,186
Really?
169
00:07:39,254 --> 00:07:40,787
Did that ever work for you?
170
00:07:40,855 --> 00:07:41,955
Sure did.
171
00:07:42,023 --> 00:07:45,592
I remember it
like it was yesterday.
172
00:07:45,660 --> 00:07:47,494
(static crackling)
173
00:07:49,230 --> 00:07:50,497
Uh-oh.
174
00:07:55,670 --> 00:07:56,737
Whoa.
175
00:07:56,804 --> 00:07:58,405
She boards, too?!
176
00:08:00,575 --> 00:08:02,809
¶ ¶
177
00:08:18,326 --> 00:08:20,661
¶ ¶
178
00:08:32,373 --> 00:08:33,840
So...
179
00:08:33,908 --> 00:08:35,509
What should we do now?
180
00:08:35,576 --> 00:08:38,445
Kiss her, ya idjit!
181
00:08:40,048 --> 00:08:41,515
(sighs)
182
00:08:41,582 --> 00:08:42,783
(shrieks)
183
00:08:42,850 --> 00:08:46,086
Bart simpson kissed me.
184
00:08:46,154 --> 00:08:49,089
Oh, my god,
and that was my first kiss.
185
00:08:49,157 --> 00:08:52,092
It will always be my first kiss.
186
00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:53,360
Ew.
187
00:08:58,232 --> 00:08:59,466
Say, "haw-haw."
188
00:08:59,534 --> 00:09:00,667
Haw-haw.
189
00:09:00,735 --> 00:09:02,736
That was great!
190
00:09:02,804 --> 00:09:04,438
Really great!
191
00:09:10,158 --> 00:09:12,960
Marge, homer, this is brody
and madison mckenna.
192
00:09:13,027 --> 00:09:15,195
Bart has been sharing a desk
with their daughter, nikki.
193
00:09:15,263 --> 00:09:18,465
Earlier today, your son
engaged in inappropriate
194
00:09:18,533 --> 00:09:20,634
Mouth-on-mouth contact
with our daughter.
195
00:09:21,803 --> 00:09:24,037
You mean, he kissed her?
196
00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:27,741
- On the top of the slide.
- That's all that happened?
197
00:09:27,809 --> 00:09:29,209
And I got to miss work?!
198
00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:31,311
(chuckles):
Oh, I could kiss you.
199
00:09:31,379 --> 00:09:33,647
Mr. Simpson,
I'm an attorney,
200
00:09:33,715 --> 00:09:35,616
And my husband is
a federal prosecutor,
201
00:09:35,683 --> 00:09:37,451
And neither of us is happy.
202
00:09:37,518 --> 00:09:40,454
Well, maybe you guys
should look for easier jobs.
203
00:09:40,521 --> 00:09:42,389
Unless you make this
204
00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:43,924
An affection-free
environment,
205
00:09:43,992 --> 00:09:46,093
We will sue this school
for its last dime.
206
00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:47,761
All right, here it is.
207
00:09:47,829 --> 00:09:49,663
And we will make you
regret the day
208
00:09:49,731 --> 00:09:51,064
Your son was born.
209
00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:52,332
You're halfway home, lady.
210
00:09:56,437 --> 00:09:57,604
It's not my fault.
211
00:09:57,672 --> 00:09:59,306
Grampa told me to kiss her.
212
00:09:59,374 --> 00:10:02,009
Why didn't you just tell
him to club her on the head
213
00:10:02,076 --> 00:10:03,477
And drag her into a cave?
214
00:10:03,544 --> 00:10:05,879
You mean second base?
215
00:10:05,947 --> 00:10:07,981
Whoa, he's a little
young for that.
216
00:10:08,049 --> 00:10:09,750
Well, if I talk to nikki,
I'm sure I can...
217
00:10:09,817 --> 00:10:11,752
No! If you go near her
one more time,
218
00:10:11,819 --> 00:10:13,186
We'll be sued
into the poor house
219
00:10:13,254 --> 00:10:14,554
And have to eat
garbage forever.
220
00:10:14,622 --> 00:10:15,756
That's no problem.
221
00:10:15,823 --> 00:10:17,224
Mom can make garbage
taste great.
222
00:10:17,292 --> 00:10:18,592
Thank you.
223
00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:19,960
Well, I mean it.
224
00:10:20,028 --> 00:10:22,596
And it means
the world to me.
225
00:10:22,664 --> 00:10:24,064
Well, don't worry, boy.
226
00:10:24,132 --> 00:10:27,334
I know a wholesome way
to take your mind off girls.
227
00:10:27,402 --> 00:10:29,136
(screaming)
228
00:10:29,203 --> 00:10:30,837
This is awesome!
229
00:10:30,905 --> 00:10:33,006
If only real life
was in 3-d.
230
00:10:33,074 --> 00:10:34,641
(chuckles)
and the glasses smell
231
00:10:34,709 --> 00:10:36,877
Like the last guy who
wore them had pizza.
232
00:10:55,730 --> 00:10:57,264
(grunts)
233
00:11:12,547 --> 00:11:14,948
(yelling)
234
00:11:15,016 --> 00:11:17,951
(yell echoing)
235
00:11:51,586 --> 00:11:53,053
(squawking)
236
00:11:53,121 --> 00:11:55,022
(gunshots)
ha, ha!
237
00:11:55,089 --> 00:11:56,523
(both laughing)
look at that.
238
00:11:56,591 --> 00:11:57,958
Oh, look at their guts.
239
00:11:58,026 --> 00:11:59,526
He has blood
all over him.
240
00:11:59,594 --> 00:12:01,528
(rapid typing on keyboard)
241
00:12:01,596 --> 00:12:04,297
Lisa:
"dear fellow
organic gardening enthusiasts,
242
00:12:04,365 --> 00:12:05,966
"I'm afraid I am too sad
243
00:12:06,034 --> 00:12:07,934
"to post my list
of garden-friendly snails.
244
00:12:08,002 --> 00:12:09,836
"yet again, I have seen
the bitter truth
245
00:12:09,904 --> 00:12:13,040
"of how difficult it is
to be smart and accepted.
246
00:12:13,107 --> 00:12:16,143
With mulch love-- lisa simpson."
247
00:12:16,210 --> 00:12:18,245
(laughs weakly)
mulch love. That's cute.
248
00:12:18,312 --> 00:12:19,246
(computer chimes)
249
00:12:19,313 --> 00:12:20,881
Somebody posted a comment?
250
00:12:20,948 --> 00:12:23,850
"don't stop achieving
just yet, lisa.
251
00:12:23,918 --> 00:12:26,887
You are not alone. Flotus1."
252
00:12:26,954 --> 00:12:28,622
Huh? Flotus1?
253
00:12:28,689 --> 00:12:29,956
Who could that be?
254
00:12:30,024 --> 00:12:31,391
Skinner (over p.A.):
Attention, all students.
255
00:12:31,459 --> 00:12:32,726
Please report
256
00:12:32,794 --> 00:12:34,194
To an attorney-mandated
school assembly.
257
00:12:34,262 --> 00:12:36,029
To make time for this,
258
00:12:36,097 --> 00:12:38,565
The third grade's performance
of my fair lady is cancelled.
259
00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:40,834
(with british accent):
I say, that's rum news.
260
00:12:40,902 --> 00:12:42,736
Very rum, indeed.
261
00:12:45,373 --> 00:12:47,207
By now you've probably heard
262
00:12:47,275 --> 00:12:49,509
That one of our fourth graders
did something
263
00:12:49,577 --> 00:12:51,111
That a hundred years ago
264
00:12:51,179 --> 00:12:53,313
Would've been considered
innocent, but in today's
265
00:12:53,381 --> 00:12:55,649
Overly-litigious society
266
00:12:55,716 --> 00:12:58,552
Has been blown completely
out of proportion.
267
00:12:58,619 --> 00:13:00,420
Now, what he said was...
268
00:13:00,488 --> 00:13:01,955
I can hear.
269
00:13:02,023 --> 00:13:05,058
The following skit, or sketch,
270
00:13:05,126 --> 00:13:06,993
Demonstrates the behavior
271
00:13:07,061 --> 00:13:09,396
We wish you would save
for middle school.
272
00:13:09,464 --> 00:13:11,331
And... Action!
273
00:13:11,399 --> 00:13:12,933
(light piano tune plays)
274
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:17,237
Oh, I'm just a wee little lass,
combin' me beautiful hair.
275
00:13:17,305 --> 00:13:20,540
¶ comb, comb, comb-ery doo... ¶
276
00:13:20,608 --> 00:13:23,276
I'm bart simpson,
disruptive fourth-grader.
277
00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:26,246
Oh! I finally caught one
of bart's school plays.
278
00:13:26,314 --> 00:13:27,647
That's not bart.
279
00:13:27,715 --> 00:13:29,249
It's principal skinner.
280
00:13:29,317 --> 00:13:31,151
Bart's sitting
right next to you.
281
00:13:31,219 --> 00:13:33,120
Yeah, now that I look closer,
282
00:13:33,187 --> 00:13:35,155
That guy couldn't fool anybody.
283
00:13:35,223 --> 00:13:37,057
Shut up, fatso.
284
00:13:37,125 --> 00:13:39,292
Why you little...
(grunting)
(choking)
285
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:41,061
(snaps fingers)
(homer grunts)
286
00:13:41,129 --> 00:13:43,296
(grunting and mumbling)
287
00:13:43,364 --> 00:13:47,200
Now, players, recreate
the incident in question.
288
00:13:47,268 --> 00:13:49,202
Ick. Ugh.
289
00:13:49,270 --> 00:13:50,537
(kissing sounds)
290
00:13:50,605 --> 00:13:53,206
Hey, willie,
does he taste like failure?
291
00:13:53,274 --> 00:13:54,908
(laughter)
292
00:13:54,976 --> 00:13:56,710
Stop that laughter!
293
00:13:56,777 --> 00:13:58,645
(laughter)
294
00:13:58,713 --> 00:14:01,581
I can make these two kiss
all day, if I have to.
295
00:14:01,649 --> 00:14:03,116
Hmm?
296
00:14:03,184 --> 00:14:04,317
(grunts)
297
00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:09,389
If you want them to keep
on kissing, just keep laughing.
298
00:14:09,457 --> 00:14:11,491
(laughter continues)
299
00:14:14,028 --> 00:14:15,195
(laughter continues)
300
00:14:15,263 --> 00:14:16,663
(laughter fading)
301
00:14:22,470 --> 00:14:23,703
(bart sighs)
302
00:14:23,771 --> 00:14:25,438
Maybe I did do something wrong.
303
00:14:27,175 --> 00:14:28,542
(gasps)
304
00:14:28,609 --> 00:14:31,578
Oh, bart, I hate
to see you like this.
305
00:14:31,646 --> 00:14:33,313
(sighs)
306
00:14:33,381 --> 00:14:36,816
- Look who's all confused.
- Huh?
307
00:14:39,304 --> 00:14:40,604
What the hell
are you doing?
308
00:14:40,672 --> 00:14:41,939
I'm kissing you, stupid.
309
00:14:42,007 --> 00:14:43,808
You're the biggest
psycho I ever met.
310
00:14:43,875 --> 00:14:44,975
You want to stop?
311
00:14:45,043 --> 00:14:46,177
Absolutely not.
312
00:14:46,244 --> 00:14:47,378
(sighs)
313
00:14:49,581 --> 00:14:52,082
(willie humming)
314
00:14:52,150 --> 00:14:54,151
(groaning)
315
00:14:58,089 --> 00:14:59,790
(gasps)
316
00:14:59,858 --> 00:15:01,892
A vh-60n whitehawk!
317
00:15:08,533 --> 00:15:09,834
(children gasping)
318
00:15:13,572 --> 00:15:16,073
First lady
michelle obama?!
319
00:15:16,141 --> 00:15:17,007
(spits)
320
00:15:21,646 --> 00:15:23,714
I flew in from turkmenistan
321
00:15:23,782 --> 00:15:27,051
Because there's
a wonderful young person here
322
00:15:27,118 --> 00:15:29,220
Who's feeling
a little discouraged.
323
00:15:29,287 --> 00:15:30,521
I sure am!
324
00:15:30,589 --> 00:15:32,089
This young lady...
325
00:15:32,157 --> 00:15:33,457
Oh.
326
00:15:33,525 --> 00:15:35,459
...Thinks just because
she's a high achiever,
327
00:15:35,527 --> 00:15:37,061
No one will ever like her.
328
00:15:37,128 --> 00:15:38,028
Huh?
329
00:15:38,096 --> 00:15:39,530
Well, as I tell schoolchildren
330
00:15:39,598 --> 00:15:42,399
All over the world,
I was a high achiever.
331
00:15:42,467 --> 00:15:45,836
I got a's back
when a's were hard to get.
332
00:15:45,904 --> 00:15:48,539
I was just like lisa simpson.
333
00:15:48,607 --> 00:15:49,874
(gasps)
334
00:15:49,941 --> 00:15:51,408
That's right, lisa.
335
00:15:51,476 --> 00:15:54,678
As an avid organic gardener,
I've read your blog.
336
00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:59,049
Flotus1 is first lady
of the United States one!
337
00:15:59,117 --> 00:16:00,417
Yes.
338
00:16:00,485 --> 00:16:02,519
I wanted just "flotus,"
but someone had it.
339
00:16:02,587 --> 00:16:05,689
That's me, 'cause I swim
with my flotuses on.
340
00:16:05,757 --> 00:16:08,759
Everything I have
I got through academics.
341
00:16:08,827 --> 00:16:11,862
I went to chicago's
first magnet high school,
342
00:16:11,930 --> 00:16:14,398
Then princeton,
then harvard law.
343
00:16:14,466 --> 00:16:18,269
And now you're the most elegant
and popular woman in the world!
344
00:16:18,336 --> 00:16:19,603
Well...
345
00:16:19,671 --> 00:16:21,138
(laughing) I don't
know about that.
346
00:16:21,206 --> 00:16:23,340
There's carla bruni,
queen noor of jordan...
347
00:16:23,408 --> 00:16:25,743
They're nothing compared to you.
348
00:16:25,810 --> 00:16:27,344
It's not a contest.
349
00:16:27,412 --> 00:16:29,847
But if it were, I think
we know how it would go.
350
00:16:29,915 --> 00:16:34,051
But before I was who I am today,
I was a nerd.
351
00:16:34,119 --> 00:16:35,786
So the lesson is, children...
352
00:16:35,854 --> 00:16:37,421
I'll tell them
what the lesson is.
353
00:16:37,489 --> 00:16:38,722
He's our joe biden.
354
00:16:38,790 --> 00:16:40,557
Understood. So kids,
355
00:16:40,625 --> 00:16:43,494
Be nice to lisa,
because the overachievers
356
00:16:43,561 --> 00:16:45,663
Will someday
be running the country,
357
00:16:45,730 --> 00:16:47,865
And you don't want them
to be too screwed up.
358
00:16:47,933 --> 00:16:49,700
Now, who else is
an overachiever?
359
00:16:49,768 --> 00:16:50,801
Come on, now!
360
00:16:52,003 --> 00:16:53,237
I am.
361
00:16:53,305 --> 00:16:55,172
I am, too.
362
00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:56,974
Fifth in my class
at annapolis.
363
00:16:57,042 --> 00:16:58,709
Scaled the summit
of the highest peaks
364
00:16:58,777 --> 00:17:00,544
On six of seven continents.
365
00:17:00,612 --> 00:17:02,613
Hey, that's great.
366
00:17:02,681 --> 00:17:04,214
Don't forget to
bring the scooper
367
00:17:04,282 --> 00:17:05,683
When you
walk the dog.
368
00:17:05,750 --> 00:17:06,917
Ma'am, yes, ma'am!
369
00:17:06,985 --> 00:17:07,851
Now, let's roll.
370
00:17:09,054 --> 00:17:10,154
(grunting)
371
00:17:10,221 --> 00:17:11,555
Sorry, ma'am.
372
00:17:11,623 --> 00:17:13,857
We can't seem to reopen
the hatch to the copter.
373
00:17:16,528 --> 00:17:18,028
You were saying?
374
00:17:18,096 --> 00:17:19,630
Oh, well, I loosened it up.
375
00:17:23,435 --> 00:17:25,169
That is the most amazing thing
376
00:17:25,236 --> 00:17:27,104
That's ever happened
to this school.
377
00:17:27,172 --> 00:17:29,907
(laughs) well, yeah, till
they find out about us.
378
00:17:29,975 --> 00:17:31,642
What do you mean "us"?
379
00:17:31,710 --> 00:17:35,045
Well, like, uh,
a-aren't you my girlfriend now?
380
00:17:35,113 --> 00:17:36,714
Oh, you mean,
like you own me?
381
00:17:36,781 --> 00:17:38,182
I'm sorry.
382
00:17:38,249 --> 00:17:40,551
Ugh! You're always
apologizing.
383
00:17:40,618 --> 00:17:41,885
Just tell me
what you want!
384
00:17:41,953 --> 00:17:43,454
You should know
what I want!
385
00:17:43,521 --> 00:17:46,857
I want you to act the same
way two days in a row! Ugh!
386
00:17:46,925 --> 00:17:49,360
I'm not gonna let
you hurt me anymore.
387
00:17:49,427 --> 00:17:50,494
(screams, thuds)
388
00:17:51,730 --> 00:17:55,799
(crying):
He's dead!
I love him!
389
00:17:55,867 --> 00:17:58,502
(breathing loudly)
Oh, he's breathing.
390
00:17:58,570 --> 00:17:59,970
Loser.
391
00:18:05,421 --> 00:18:06,822
He's stopped breathin'!
392
00:18:06,890 --> 00:18:08,223
Who knows gob-to-gob?!
393
00:18:08,291 --> 00:18:11,593
You know, mutton hole
to mutton hole.
394
00:18:11,661 --> 00:18:14,429
No one goes near that boy
till the ambulance comes.
395
00:18:14,497 --> 00:18:18,133
Any physical contact violates
our school's no-touch policy.
396
00:18:18,201 --> 00:18:20,469
Let's quickly prod him to the
curb with this pool skimmer.
397
00:18:20,537 --> 00:18:21,570
Good thinking.
398
00:18:24,641 --> 00:18:25,574
Move!
399
00:18:25,642 --> 00:18:26,842
I know cpr!
400
00:18:26,910 --> 00:18:28,277
Nikki, no!
401
00:18:28,344 --> 00:18:30,445
I prefer a dead child
to a lawsuit from your parents.
402
00:19:27,637 --> 00:19:29,972
(cheering)
403
00:19:30,039 --> 00:19:31,807
Ugh! Ya call that a kiss?
404
00:19:31,874 --> 00:19:34,343
Come here.
(whimpering)
405
00:19:34,410 --> 00:19:35,811
(children chattering)
406
00:19:35,878 --> 00:19:38,480
Nelson, now that
the ban's been lifted,
407
00:19:38,548 --> 00:19:40,015
Let me touch your face.
408
00:19:40,083 --> 00:19:42,884
That way, I can see you
with my fingers.
409
00:19:45,121 --> 00:19:47,589
Ew! I said your face,
not your butt!
410
00:19:47,657 --> 00:19:50,492
Oh, you feel comfortable
enough to mock me.
411
00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:51,793
(grunts)
(groans)
412
00:19:51,861 --> 00:19:53,495
That's for mocking me.
413
00:19:53,563 --> 00:19:57,366
Nelson, your punch
restored my vision!
414
00:19:57,433 --> 00:19:59,167
I can see again!
415
00:19:59,235 --> 00:20:00,936
Really? Kevin,
that's wonder...
416
00:20:01,004 --> 00:20:02,371
Sync By YesCool
www.addic7ed.com
417
00:20:02,438 --> 00:20:05,040
The student has
become the master!
418
00:20:05,108 --> 00:20:07,876
Nikki, thanks for
saving my life.
419
00:20:07,944 --> 00:20:09,678
Look, can we just pretend
that never happened?
420
00:20:09,746 --> 00:20:11,246
I don't want
everyone at school
421
00:20:11,314 --> 00:20:13,048
To go around
thinking I like you.
422
00:20:13,116 --> 00:20:14,283
I don't get you.
423
00:20:14,350 --> 00:20:15,384
You're hot,
you're cold.
424
00:20:15,451 --> 00:20:16,685
What is your deal?!
425
00:20:16,753 --> 00:20:18,320
Oh, bart, you've got
a few things
426
00:20:18,388 --> 00:20:20,022
To learn about women.
427
00:20:20,089 --> 00:20:22,224
And I will never
tell you what they are.
428
00:20:22,292 --> 00:20:28,330
I give up. Smell ya later.
(sighs)
429
00:20:31,701 --> 00:20:33,190
I love you!