1
00:00:02,468 --> 00:00:03,935
(caws)
2
00:00:04,003 --> 00:00:04,836
(squawks)
3
00:00:06,839 --> 00:00:08,106
D'oh.
4
00:00:08,174 --> 00:00:09,474
(tires screeching)
5
00:00:09,542 --> 00:00:11,076
(grunts)
6
00:00:11,144 --> 00:00:15,210
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
7
00:00:23,856 --> 00:00:27,025
Narrator: How will the springfielder
of the future get around town?
8
00:00:27,093 --> 00:00:29,961
Will he be like bus-stop bill,
caught out in the rain?
9
00:00:30,029 --> 00:00:31,463
(sneezes)
10
00:00:31,531 --> 00:00:33,799
Or will he be like subway sam,
11
00:00:33,866 --> 00:00:36,802
Packed like a tuna on the
springfield metro line?
12
00:00:36,869 --> 00:00:39,337
Here he can rub shoulders
with fellow businessmen
13
00:00:39,405 --> 00:00:41,473
And share their deadly germs.
14
00:00:41,541 --> 00:00:46,611
(trumpets squawking)
15
00:00:46,679 --> 00:00:49,047
These two men might as
well be kissing.
16
00:00:49,869 --> 00:00:54,139
Is there no way to get to work
in comfort, safety and style?
17
00:00:54,207 --> 00:00:55,507
Well, it looks like
18
00:00:55,575 --> 00:00:57,676
Motorcar Mel's got the answer.
19
00:00:57,744 --> 00:01:00,245
He's cruising at 130 miles an hour
20
00:01:00,313 --> 00:01:02,247
in a plutonium-powered auto
21
00:01:02,315 --> 00:01:05,183
on the spacious skyway
of tomorrow.
22
00:01:05,251 --> 00:01:10,389
And it's got plenty of room for all of Mrs.
Mel's shopping.
23
00:01:13,026 --> 00:01:15,994
All that's left is to pick
Junior up from school.
24
00:01:16,062 --> 00:01:18,030
(whirring)
25
00:01:18,097 --> 00:01:21,533
Looks like that robot arm needs
a little adjustment.
26
00:01:21,601 --> 00:01:23,835
(Narrator chuckles)
27
00:01:26,739 --> 00:01:28,040
(projector whirring)
28
00:01:28,107 --> 00:01:30,242
Well, that concludes...
29
00:01:30,309 --> 00:01:32,244
I don't really know what that was.
30
00:01:32,311 --> 00:01:33,745
Now please take out your homework.
31
00:01:33,813 --> 00:01:35,847
Homework? What homework?
32
00:01:35,915 --> 00:01:38,316
We had to build a
Hopi Indian pueblo.
33
00:01:38,384 --> 00:01:40,919
Mine features
indigenous Hopi songs.
34
00:01:40,987 --> 00:01:45,190
* And a hie na ho na hey. *
35
00:01:45,258 --> 00:01:46,425
MARTIN: What's this?
36
00:01:46,492 --> 00:01:48,427
A promoter has arrived
37
00:01:48,494 --> 00:01:52,564
to entice the tribe to
perform in a Wild West show.
38
00:01:52,632 --> 00:01:54,466
Unfortunately,
39
00:01:54,534 --> 00:01:57,169
the chief doesn't read the
contract very carefully.
40
00:01:58,504 --> 00:02:02,007
The good news is,
over a hundred years later,
41
00:02:02,075 --> 00:02:04,509
a brilliant little
boy receives an "A"
42
00:02:04,577 --> 00:02:07,045
for his amazing presentation.
43
00:02:07,113 --> 00:02:08,547
(mechanical creaking)
44
00:02:08,614 --> 00:02:09,915
CHILDREN: Ah...
45
00:02:09,982 --> 00:02:12,017
Bravo, Martin. Bravo.
46
00:02:12,085 --> 00:02:15,687
Well, let's see what the rest
of you dullards have to offer.
47
00:02:18,157 --> 00:02:19,858
Uh-oh.
48
00:02:19,926 --> 00:02:22,427
(wind whistling) Oh.
49
00:02:22,495 --> 00:02:23,829
Damn it.
50
00:02:23,896 --> 00:02:25,630
Okay, don't panic.
51
00:02:25,698 --> 00:02:27,666
I can build one of those things
from the crap in my desk.
52
00:02:29,869 --> 00:02:31,803
Bart Simpson, you've had three
months to do this project.
53
00:02:31,871 --> 00:02:33,872
You started 30 seconds ago.
54
00:02:33,940 --> 00:02:35,440
Thank you. Thank you.
55
00:02:35,508 --> 00:02:37,642
I'm not complimenting you.
56
00:02:37,710 --> 00:02:39,878
You've destroyed every ideal
I've had about teaching
57
00:02:39,946 --> 00:02:42,614
since I saw To Sir,
With Love as a little girl.
58
00:02:42,682 --> 00:02:44,549
Ha-ha. You're old.
59
00:02:44,617 --> 00:02:46,685
I saw it on video in the '80s.
60
00:02:46,752 --> 00:02:48,253
Outdated medium.
61
00:02:48,321 --> 00:02:49,888
I stand by my ha-ha.
62
00:02:49,956 --> 00:02:52,057
Bart, I'm sending
your parents a letter.
63
00:02:52,125 --> 00:02:56,294
"Irresponsible,
unprepared, bad seed..."
64
00:02:56,362 --> 00:02:57,062
Good guy.
65
00:02:57,130 --> 00:02:58,497
"Bad guy."
66
00:02:58,564 --> 00:03:01,166
Signed... stamped and sealed.
67
00:03:03,236 --> 00:03:07,239
So, can I deliver that
to the office for you?
68
00:03:07,306 --> 00:03:09,207
Hah. I wasn't born yesterday.
69
00:03:09,275 --> 00:03:10,976
Hah. Tell me about it.
70
00:03:11,043 --> 00:03:12,644
Ugh.
71
00:03:12,712 --> 00:03:14,579
Martin?
72
00:03:14,647 --> 00:03:16,848
Outgoing mail slot. Now.
73
00:03:18,017 --> 00:03:20,218
BART: Got to stop that letter.
74
00:03:24,624 --> 00:03:25,957
(alarm sounding) Oh, fire alarm.
75
00:03:26,025 --> 00:03:27,526
Ooh, that means firemen.
76
00:03:27,593 --> 00:03:28,860
(laughs)
77
00:03:35,168 --> 00:03:38,203
(marching footsteps)
78
00:03:38,271 --> 00:03:40,939
Sixth-graders? No.
79
00:03:41,007 --> 00:03:42,741
I'm sure it's a training bra.
80
00:03:42,808 --> 00:03:44,876
(chattering) PG-13.
81
00:03:44,944 --> 00:03:46,444
BOY: I have an unwanted boner.
82
00:03:58,357 --> 00:04:00,058
(groaning)
83
00:04:00,126 --> 00:04:01,826
Yes.
84
00:04:01,894 --> 00:04:03,461
(grunting)
85
00:04:03,529 --> 00:04:05,330
Hoisting a bag.
86
00:04:05,398 --> 00:04:08,366
Ay, there's no better
feeling on earth.
87
00:04:09,902 --> 00:04:12,037
(Bart grunting)
88
00:04:12,104 --> 00:04:13,738
Now what are you up to?
89
00:04:13,806 --> 00:04:15,340
Whatever happened to "Hi"?
90
00:04:15,408 --> 00:04:17,809
Hi. Now what are you up to?
91
00:04:17,877 --> 00:04:19,878
A letter's coming from school,
and I need to be home
92
00:04:19,912 --> 00:04:21,346
to keep Mom and Dad
from getting it.
93
00:04:21,414 --> 00:04:23,114
(grunting)
94
00:04:23,182 --> 00:04:26,151
Mom. I have a fever.
95
00:04:28,321 --> 00:04:29,688
(beep)
96
00:04:29,755 --> 00:04:32,123
Ooh, 103.
97
00:04:32,191 --> 00:04:35,360
No school today.
98
00:04:35,428 --> 00:04:38,597
Then again, there's only one way
to get a truly accurate reading.
99
00:04:38,664 --> 00:04:40,031
Bart, pants.
100
00:04:40,099 --> 00:04:42,100
Just close your eyes
and think of Milhouse.
101
00:04:42,168 --> 00:04:43,435
(chuckling)
102
00:04:44,670 --> 00:04:45,971
(door squeaking)
103
00:04:46,038 --> 00:04:47,472
Yup. 103 on the dot.
104
00:04:47,540 --> 00:04:49,274
You're staying home.
105
00:04:49,342 --> 00:04:51,943
How did you...?
I don't want to talk about it.
106
00:04:52,011 --> 00:04:54,346
I got to get that letter
before Mom and Dad do.
107
00:04:55,581 --> 00:04:57,482
Stay focused.
108
00:04:57,550 --> 00:04:59,451
Focused.
109
00:04:59,518 --> 00:05:01,519
Focused.
110
00:05:01,587 --> 00:05:03,722
Focused.
111
00:05:03,789 --> 00:05:05,690
(imitating electric guitar)
112
00:05:08,561 --> 00:05:10,528
Oh.
113
00:05:10,596 --> 00:05:12,230
(gasping)
114
00:05:12,298 --> 00:05:14,633
Credit card offer, overdue bill,
115
00:05:14,700 --> 00:05:17,302
credit card offer, overdue bill.
116
00:05:17,370 --> 00:05:19,004
Huh? What's this?
117
00:05:19,071 --> 00:05:20,505
What the...?
118
00:05:20,573 --> 00:05:22,707
You're a month behind on homework?
119
00:05:22,775 --> 00:05:25,510
I tried really hard to
stop you from finding out.
120
00:05:25,578 --> 00:05:26,978
Does that help?
121
00:05:27,046 --> 00:05:28,647
A little!
122
00:05:28,714 --> 00:05:29,648
SKINNER: These are Bart's
123
00:05:29,715 --> 00:05:31,516
uncompleted homework assignments
124
00:05:31,584 --> 00:05:33,818
for the last month: worksheets,
problem sets,
125
00:05:33,886 --> 00:05:35,186
book reports, math jumbles,
126
00:05:35,254 --> 00:05:37,522
dioramas, topic sentences,
conclusions,
127
00:05:37,590 --> 00:05:39,557
bibliographies, synonyms,
mean-the-sames,
128
00:05:39,625 --> 00:05:41,026
define-a-likes, word twins
129
00:05:41,093 --> 00:05:43,094
and one Thanksgiving hand-turkey.
130
00:05:43,162 --> 00:05:44,663
One month?
131
00:05:44,730 --> 00:05:46,965
That's a heavy workload
for a fourth grader.
132
00:05:47,033 --> 00:05:48,933
I say this boy needs
more homework.
133
00:05:49,001 --> 00:05:51,536
I don't have to do
it with him, do I?
134
00:05:51,604 --> 00:05:52,170
No.
135
00:05:52,238 --> 00:05:53,772
Pile it on.
136
00:05:53,839 --> 00:05:56,274
I want him to be Korean
by the time he's done.
137
00:05:58,311 --> 00:06:00,945
(humming happily)
138
00:06:02,148 --> 00:06:03,782
Hmm. Clean dishes.
139
00:06:03,849 --> 00:06:06,584
I either have to unload them,
or, uh...
140
00:06:08,954 --> 00:06:11,189
(humming and singing)
141
00:06:16,195 --> 00:06:18,096
(laughs)
142
00:06:18,164 --> 00:06:21,166
Oh. Thanks for doing the dishes.
143
00:06:21,233 --> 00:06:23,268
No problem. You can unload.
144
00:06:23,336 --> 00:06:26,604
You know, I think Bart might
have too much homework.
145
00:06:26,672 --> 00:06:28,373
If they keep overwhelming him,
146
00:06:28,441 --> 00:06:30,475
he might be turned
off school forever.
147
00:06:30,543 --> 00:06:34,045
Oh, my. A child who
doesn't enjoy school?
148
00:06:34,113 --> 00:06:36,381
Hello? Hollywood?
149
00:06:36,449 --> 00:06:39,484
You want to buy the movie
rights to this incredible story?
150
00:06:39,552 --> 00:06:41,486
A million dollars?
151
00:06:41,554 --> 00:06:43,121
Deal.
152
00:06:43,189 --> 00:06:46,057
Oh, now I have to write it.
153
00:06:46,125 --> 00:06:49,060
Digibot, Go-go-goman has
the crystal life ball.
154
00:06:49,128 --> 00:06:51,496
(squeaky chattering)
155
00:06:51,564 --> 00:06:53,598
Wow, how does this
show stay so fresh?
156
00:06:53,666 --> 00:06:55,200
Hey.
157
00:06:55,267 --> 00:06:56,935
You're supposed to be
doing your homework.
158
00:06:57,002 --> 00:06:58,603
No more TV for you.
159
00:06:58,671 --> 00:07:01,639
(grunting)
160
00:07:01,707 --> 00:07:04,542
(squeaky chattering) (muttering)
161
00:07:04,610 --> 00:07:06,344
Until your homework is done,
162
00:07:06,412 --> 00:07:08,279
the only place your butt is safe
163
00:07:08,347 --> 00:07:10,715
from my foot is in that chair.
164
00:07:10,783 --> 00:07:12,917
(sighs): Oh.
165
00:07:15,221 --> 00:07:16,788
It's okay, Bart.
166
00:07:16,856 --> 00:07:18,423
Just do a couple vocabulary words,
167
00:07:18,491 --> 00:07:20,291
then come have some
milk and cookies.
168
00:07:20,359 --> 00:07:22,360
But Dad said I had to finish my...
169
00:07:22,428 --> 00:07:23,728
Never mind what he said.
170
00:07:23,796 --> 00:07:25,497
You just listen to me.
171
00:07:28,901 --> 00:07:32,337
Hey, Lis, Mom and Dad just
told me two different things.
172
00:07:32,405 --> 00:07:33,772
How is that possible?
173
00:07:33,839 --> 00:07:36,107
Well, sometimes people
who agree on most things
174
00:07:36,175 --> 00:07:38,676
have one issue that they
disagree strongly about.
175
00:07:38,744 --> 00:07:40,678
In politics,
it's called a wedge issue,
176
00:07:40,746 --> 00:07:42,981
like illegal immigration
or gay marriage.
177
00:07:43,048 --> 00:07:44,482
Wait a minute.
178
00:07:44,550 --> 00:07:46,384
Can I play them against each other
179
00:07:46,452 --> 00:07:48,987
so I don't have to do
any homework at all?
180
00:07:49,054 --> 00:07:51,156
You would mess up Mom
and Dad's marriage
181
00:07:51,223 --> 00:07:53,224
just to get out of
doing some homework?
182
00:07:53,292 --> 00:07:55,727
Hey, hey, I would end
all life on this planet
183
00:07:55,795 --> 00:07:57,362
just to get out of doing fractions.
184
00:07:57,430 --> 00:07:58,963
Fractions aren't that hard.
185
00:07:59,031 --> 00:08:01,032
You just have to find
a common denominator.
186
00:08:01,100 --> 00:08:03,635
For example, one half
plus one third equals...
187
00:08:03,702 --> 00:08:06,771
End... all... life...
on... this... planet!
188
00:08:06,839 --> 00:08:09,274
(imitates explosion)
189
00:08:09,341 --> 00:08:12,076
You'll need to know fractions
to make that explosion!
190
00:08:12,144 --> 00:08:13,311
I don't care.
191
00:08:21,125 --> 00:08:23,960
Oh, so much homework.
192
00:08:24,028 --> 00:08:26,596
Childhood slipping away.
193
00:08:26,664 --> 00:08:28,832
(grunting)
194
00:08:28,899 --> 00:08:32,368
Bart, put down those books
and go play this instant.
195
00:08:32,436 --> 00:08:34,637
If you say so.
196
00:08:36,740 --> 00:08:38,975
(grunts)
197
00:08:39,043 --> 00:08:40,610
Right on time.
198
00:08:40,678 --> 00:08:43,980
Grape soda-- shaken, not stirred.
199
00:08:44,048 --> 00:08:45,515
(gasps)
200
00:08:45,583 --> 00:08:47,383
Let's roll.
201
00:08:47,451 --> 00:08:49,719
(organ music playing)
202
00:08:49,787 --> 00:08:53,590
Dear Lord, please give
my stubborn husband
203
00:08:53,657 --> 00:08:56,526
the wisdom to see that
I am right as usual.
204
00:08:56,594 --> 00:08:58,061
Too late, Marge.
205
00:08:58,128 --> 00:09:00,497
I already used a prayer
block on your prayer.
206
00:09:00,564 --> 00:09:02,365
There's no such thing
as prayer blocks.
207
00:09:02,433 --> 00:09:03,867
Yeah, right.
208
00:09:05,736 --> 00:09:09,239
* Fight, fight, fight,
the Itchy and Scratchy Show. *
209
00:09:09,306 --> 00:09:11,741
("Teardrop" by
Massive Attack plays)
210
00:09:20,251 --> 00:09:21,351
(gasps)
211
00:09:21,418 --> 00:09:22,652
(screams)
212
00:09:27,858 --> 00:09:29,792
Teardrop" by Massive Attack plays)
213
00:09:29,860 --> 00:09:30,994
(moans weakly)
214
00:09:31,061 --> 00:09:32,595
(ding)
215
00:09:35,299 --> 00:09:36,466
(screams, grunting)
216
00:09:41,138 --> 00:09:44,874
("Rock-A-Bye, Baby" plays)
217
00:09:44,942 --> 00:09:47,310
(laughing)
218
00:09:47,378 --> 00:09:49,412
Hey, why aren't you
doing your homework?
219
00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:51,314
I said he could take a break.
220
00:09:51,382 --> 00:09:53,383
The violence really relaxes me.
221
00:09:53,450 --> 00:09:55,018
You don't get to relax
222
00:09:55,085 --> 00:09:56,986
till you get to the bottom
of this homework stack.
223
00:09:57,054 --> 00:09:59,255
Don't contradict me
in front of our son.
224
00:09:59,323 --> 00:10:01,558
Well, don't be wrong
in front of our son.
225
00:10:01,625 --> 00:10:02,825
(grunting)
226
00:10:02,893 --> 00:10:04,093
Oh, yeah? Well... (grunting)
227
00:10:04,161 --> 00:10:05,695
(both grunting)
228
00:10:05,763 --> 00:10:07,997
(making goofy grunting sounds)
229
00:10:12,636 --> 00:10:15,271
Let's have lunch at Crouching
Tiger Hidden Eggroll.
230
00:10:15,339 --> 00:10:17,540
Hmm. No line, near the men's room.
231
00:10:17,608 --> 00:10:19,509
I see no reason to
question your choice.
232
00:10:21,445 --> 00:10:24,514
Smooth move, Mom,
tricking Dad into having lunch
233
00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:26,716
at the one place that
doesn't serve beer.
234
00:10:26,784 --> 00:10:29,419
What the...? Then I want
to eat at... Moe's Express.
235
00:10:29,486 --> 00:10:30,887
By express, I mean
236
00:10:30,955 --> 00:10:33,222
that you express your
anger and hatred.
237
00:10:33,290 --> 00:10:34,724
The last time you ate there,
238
00:10:34,792 --> 00:10:36,793
you spent three nights
in the mall jail.
239
00:10:36,860 --> 00:10:39,462
That was last week,
and you're still bringing it up.
240
00:10:39,530 --> 00:10:40,997
Well, you always miss
241
00:10:41,065 --> 00:10:42,498
when you throw your
underpants at the hamper.
242
00:10:42,566 --> 00:10:44,300
Well, how could I
ever hit the hamper
243
00:10:44,368 --> 00:10:45,835
if you don't let me practice?
244
00:10:45,903 --> 00:10:47,937
You practiced all
day on my birthday.
245
00:10:48,005 --> 00:10:50,406
Fine. I was gonna apologize,
but now I'm not going to.
246
00:10:50,474 --> 00:10:52,075
You were never going to apologize.
247
00:10:52,142 --> 00:10:53,910
I was, too. The words
were in my brain.
248
00:10:53,978 --> 00:10:55,345
You're wrong,
and whenever you're wrong,
249
00:10:55,412 --> 00:10:56,913
you just spout gibberish.
250
00:10:56,981 --> 00:10:59,916
(shouting gibberish)
251
00:11:03,587 --> 00:11:05,121
Congratulations.
252
00:11:05,189 --> 00:11:07,457
You're officially a sociopath.
253
00:11:07,524 --> 00:11:09,392
Hey, at least I'm on a path.
254
00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:10,994
I don't mind if you
pee in the shower,
255
00:11:11,061 --> 00:11:12,795
but only if you're taking a shower.
256
00:11:12,863 --> 00:11:14,230
No freedom.
257
00:11:14,298 --> 00:11:16,032
I have no freedom
around this house.
258
00:11:16,100 --> 00:11:18,635
After sex, I'm not talking to you.
259
00:11:18,702 --> 00:11:20,603
Well, then there won't be any sex.
260
00:11:20,671 --> 00:11:24,140
You can't sex fire me, I sex quit.
261
00:11:26,944 --> 00:11:28,811
(alarm ringing)
262
00:11:31,849 --> 00:11:33,750
Got to stay mad.
263
00:11:33,817 --> 00:11:35,618
The next morning is where the
fight is won or lost.
264
00:11:35,686 --> 00:11:37,387
Freeze him out.
265
00:11:37,454 --> 00:11:39,255
It's cold in Marge's doghouse,
baby.
266
00:11:41,759 --> 00:11:43,993
I just think when
two people disagree,
267
00:11:44,061 --> 00:11:46,663
the big jerk ought to apologize.
268
00:11:46,730 --> 00:11:48,531
You know, Marge, (sighs)
269
00:11:48,599 --> 00:11:51,200
Maude and I had a fight
right before she died.
270
00:11:51,268 --> 00:11:53,603
Neddy, when you're
drying your hands
271
00:11:53,671 --> 00:11:55,038
with our monogrammed towels,
272
00:11:55,105 --> 00:11:58,207
can you use the "NF" towel,
not the "MF"?
273
00:11:58,275 --> 00:12:01,210
You know, maybe I should
use a towel marked "BDD"--
274
00:12:01,278 --> 00:12:02,745
big diddily deal.
275
00:12:02,813 --> 00:12:04,247
(gasps)
276
00:12:04,314 --> 00:12:07,984
I play that fight over in my
mind a thousand times a day.
277
00:12:10,487 --> 00:12:14,023
(muttering): Must win fight.
Must win fight.
278
00:12:14,091 --> 00:12:15,525
(crowd cheering)
279
00:12:15,592 --> 00:12:17,160
Let me say to you all,
280
00:12:17,227 --> 00:12:19,796
I'm pretty sure
this is not a dream.
281
00:12:19,863 --> 00:12:21,464
(crashing, gasps)
282
00:12:21,532 --> 00:12:22,799
Oh, my God, I killed her.
283
00:12:22,866 --> 00:12:24,467
(sobbing)
284
00:12:24,535 --> 00:12:27,103
(gasps) I've got to apologize.
285
00:12:27,171 --> 00:12:30,640
Once again, sleeping at
work has saved my marriage.
286
00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:32,909
Compromise has no
place in a marriage.
287
00:12:32,976 --> 00:12:34,677
Stick to your guns.
288
00:12:34,745 --> 00:12:37,947
And if he leaves,
you'll be free and happy, like us.
289
00:12:38,015 --> 00:12:39,982
Yes. Happy.
290
00:12:40,050 --> 00:12:41,918
So happy.
291
00:12:41,985 --> 00:12:42,952
Hmm.
292
00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:51,227
I'm going to find my husband.
293
00:12:51,295 --> 00:12:53,162
Don't depress the kids.
294
00:12:55,332 --> 00:12:58,701
That pacifier's the last
true friend you'll have.
295
00:13:00,871 --> 00:13:03,372
Must apologize. Must apologize.
296
00:13:12,082 --> 00:13:14,117
(both moan)
297
00:13:14,184 --> 00:13:16,519
I'm sorry we ever fought.
298
00:13:16,587 --> 00:13:18,855
We can't let Bart drive us apart.
299
00:13:18,922 --> 00:13:21,591
He's the reason we
had to get married.
300
00:13:21,658 --> 00:13:23,526
Till the two of us
are back on track,
301
00:13:23,594 --> 00:13:25,361
Bart can fend for himself.
302
00:13:25,429 --> 00:13:27,396
Bart? Bart who?
303
00:13:27,464 --> 00:13:29,198
I'm being cute.
304
00:13:29,266 --> 00:13:31,167
It's working.
305
00:13:31,235 --> 00:13:33,202
(both moaning)
306
00:13:33,270 --> 00:13:34,804
(siren wails, tires screech)
307
00:13:34,872 --> 00:13:37,039
Put down some flares, boys.
308
00:13:37,107 --> 00:13:40,143
We're gonna be here a while.
309
00:13:40,210 --> 00:13:42,245
(indistinct radio transmission)
310
00:13:45,180 --> 00:13:47,115
Awesome breakfast, Marge.
311
00:13:47,182 --> 00:13:49,450
Breakfast in bed is so much better
312
00:13:49,518 --> 00:13:52,286
than breakfast in a chair.
313
00:13:52,354 --> 00:13:54,589
Mmm. I'm gonna go paste your heads
314
00:13:54,656 --> 00:13:56,491
back into the family photos.
315
00:13:56,558 --> 00:13:57,725
I've got them right here.
316
00:13:59,862 --> 00:14:02,630
Dad, I know you're gonna say no,
but Mom would say...
317
00:14:02,698 --> 00:14:03,765
Whatever. Knock yourself out.
318
00:14:03,832 --> 00:14:04,999
What do you mean?
319
00:14:05,067 --> 00:14:06,868
You may not realize this, Bart,
320
00:14:06,935 --> 00:14:09,437
but your mother and I have been
fighting about you a lot lately.
321
00:14:09,505 --> 00:14:11,606
And I've realized our
marriage is more important
322
00:14:11,673 --> 00:14:12,907
than your future.
323
00:14:12,975 --> 00:14:14,675
From now on, you're on your own.
324
00:14:14,743 --> 00:14:16,711
Really? Okay.
325
00:14:19,181 --> 00:14:20,815
(humming)
326
00:14:20,883 --> 00:14:22,583
Uh, Marge?
327
00:14:22,651 --> 00:14:23,885
I don't want to ruin the moment,
328
00:14:23,952 --> 00:14:25,653
but you got something
stuck between your...
329
00:14:25,721 --> 00:14:26,921
Oh.
330
00:14:26,989 --> 00:14:29,424
(lusty moaning)
331
00:14:29,491 --> 00:14:32,293
Ah, a peaceful Saturday afternoon,
332
00:14:32,361 --> 00:14:35,329
with no Bart Simpson,
and no Milhouse, for that matter.
333
00:14:35,397 --> 00:14:38,933
Nothing on my agenda but to sit
here and watch hummingbirds.
334
00:14:41,570 --> 00:14:43,838
(laughing)
335
00:14:43,906 --> 00:14:46,040
Sugar water?
336
00:14:46,108 --> 00:14:48,076
Now, why would someone... (screams)
337
00:14:48,143 --> 00:14:50,078
Their tiny tongues are like knives.
338
00:14:50,145 --> 00:14:51,412
(both laughing)
339
00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:53,114
Big mistake.
340
00:14:53,182 --> 00:14:55,450
Attacking me outside
school hours and property.
341
00:14:55,517 --> 00:14:57,985
Legally, I can spank
your bare bottoms.
342
00:14:58,053 --> 00:14:59,887
Follow me.
343
00:15:05,194 --> 00:15:08,930
You can't hide forever,
and I'm a very patient man.
344
00:15:08,997 --> 00:15:12,433
I once waited an hour and
a half for a haircut.
345
00:15:12,501 --> 00:15:15,403
Whoa, what is this place?
346
00:15:15,471 --> 00:15:18,706
Remember that time I was
carried off by groundhogs?
347
00:15:18,774 --> 00:15:20,675
This is where I wound up.
348
00:15:20,742 --> 00:15:22,443
(electrical crackling)
349
00:15:22,511 --> 00:15:26,581
Behold, an ancient subway station.
350
00:15:31,487 --> 00:15:33,788
I never knew Springfield
had a subway.
351
00:15:33,856 --> 00:15:36,257
It's like a Thomas the Tank
Engine we can go inside.
352
00:15:36,325 --> 00:15:37,892
With no Sir Topham Hatt
353
00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:40,695
to tell us what we
can and can't do.
354
00:15:40,762 --> 00:15:43,197
(both laugh)
355
00:15:43,265 --> 00:15:45,466
(mechanical whirring) Whoa.
356
00:15:47,569 --> 00:15:49,470
(wheels rattling)
357
00:15:49,538 --> 00:15:51,772
(rumbling)
358
00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:53,040
(gasping)
359
00:15:53,108 --> 00:15:56,010
(glass clattering, breaking)
360
00:15:56,078 --> 00:15:57,545
(low rumbling)
361
00:15:57,613 --> 00:15:58,880
Whoa, whoa.
362
00:15:58,947 --> 00:16:00,381
Which flavor do I save--
363
00:16:00,449 --> 00:16:02,917
the Radical Red or
the Blueberry Blast?
364
00:16:02,985 --> 00:16:05,720
Oh, curse this Squishee's choice.
365
00:16:05,787 --> 00:16:07,722
(rumbling)
366
00:16:07,789 --> 00:16:09,624
(rumbling stops)
367
00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:12,593
(rumbling)
368
00:16:12,661 --> 00:16:14,996
(rumbling stops)
369
00:16:15,063 --> 00:16:17,231
I love watching you knit.
370
00:16:17,299 --> 00:16:19,433
It reminds me of watching
pictures download
371
00:16:19,501 --> 00:16:21,736
on our old dial-up modem.
372
00:16:21,803 --> 00:16:23,471
Remember that day
we brought it home,
373
00:16:23,539 --> 00:16:24,839
and it was all...
374
00:16:24,907 --> 00:16:27,909
eeee... ooo... eee... ooo.
375
00:16:27,976 --> 00:16:30,478
(guttural whirring)
376
00:16:30,546 --> 00:16:32,947
(both laughing)
377
00:16:33,015 --> 00:16:36,684
Oh, my God, Homie,
we're having a real conversation.
378
00:16:36,752 --> 00:16:38,386
Yeah.
379
00:16:38,453 --> 00:16:39,887
Eeee.... ooo.
380
00:16:39,955 --> 00:16:42,123
(guttural whirring)
381
00:16:42,191 --> 00:16:44,425
Oh, you won't believe
how I got home.
382
00:16:44,493 --> 00:16:46,294
Don't know, don't care.
383
00:16:46,361 --> 00:16:48,296
You don't even want to know
if I have anything to do
384
00:16:48,363 --> 00:16:50,331
with this mysterious
seismic activity of late?
385
00:16:50,399 --> 00:16:51,933
Nope.
386
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:54,635
I'm saving my yelling for
where it does some good.
387
00:16:54,703 --> 00:16:57,438
(shouting): Lisa!
You're a wonderful child!
388
00:16:57,506 --> 00:17:00,174
Keep up the good work!
389
00:17:00,242 --> 00:17:01,809
Thanks, Dad.
390
00:17:01,877 --> 00:17:04,212
But you're so loud,
it's hurting my ears.
391
00:17:04,279 --> 00:17:05,880
(shouting): Sorry!
392
00:17:05,948 --> 00:17:07,448
It's weird.
393
00:17:07,516 --> 00:17:09,951
I just made an entire
town lose its lunch.
394
00:17:10,018 --> 00:17:12,386
And?
395
00:17:12,454 --> 00:17:14,522
And I'm not feeling the rush.
396
00:17:14,590 --> 00:17:16,724
Tell me more.
397
00:17:16,792 --> 00:17:19,060
Something's missing. Am I broken?
398
00:17:19,127 --> 00:17:21,229
Jump with me.
399
00:17:21,296 --> 00:17:23,130
(both grunt)
400
00:17:24,666 --> 00:17:26,601
Bart, at the end of the day,
401
00:17:26,668 --> 00:17:28,703
if your parents aren't p.o.
'd, you haven't really pranked.
402
00:17:28,770 --> 00:17:30,571
You got to take it up a notch.
403
00:17:30,639 --> 00:17:32,139
Really?
404
00:17:32,207 --> 00:17:35,209
If no one's getting mad,
are you really being bad?
405
00:17:35,277 --> 00:17:36,777
Think about it.
406
00:17:36,845 --> 00:17:38,379
Wow.
407
00:17:38,447 --> 00:17:40,681
I know.
408
00:17:43,585 --> 00:17:45,987
The tremors are tearing her apart.
409
00:17:46,054 --> 00:17:49,223
One more shake, and the whole
school could come down.
410
00:17:49,291 --> 00:17:51,025
Seymour, do something.
411
00:17:54,863 --> 00:17:58,266
Destroy the school, eh?
412
00:17:58,333 --> 00:18:00,735
That's what I'm talkin' about.
413
00:18:02,471 --> 00:18:04,805
Man, those textbooks really burn.
414
00:18:06,642 --> 00:18:09,176
"Mom and Dad,
415
00:18:09,244 --> 00:18:11,912
"Bart is going to
use the old subway
416
00:18:11,980 --> 00:18:14,882
to destroy Springfield Elementary."
417
00:18:14,950 --> 00:18:17,285
And there's a map of the
subway system attached.
418
00:18:17,352 --> 00:18:18,886
Homer, we've got to stop him.
419
00:18:18,954 --> 00:18:20,855
But, Marge, I thought
we were chilling out
420
00:18:20,922 --> 00:18:22,623
for the sake of our marriage.
421
00:18:22,691 --> 00:18:25,726
We're going to have to be
good parents to our son
422
00:18:25,794 --> 00:18:28,729
and work twice as
hard on our marriage.
423
00:18:28,797 --> 00:18:31,465
Fine. I'll do both at once.
424
00:18:31,533 --> 00:18:33,534
We should both take a
role in vacation planning.
425
00:18:37,951 --> 00:18:39,552
Oh, she's coming down.
426
00:18:39,620 --> 00:18:41,821
Oh, Lord, let me
finish this hallway,
427
00:18:41,888 --> 00:18:43,990
then you can send me
to hell a happy man.
428
00:18:45,826 --> 00:18:47,426
(tires screech)
429
00:18:48,729 --> 00:18:50,930
(grunting) Bart!
430
00:18:52,699 --> 00:18:54,500
(grunting)
431
00:18:54,568 --> 00:18:56,636
Oh, there's a nickel.
432
00:18:56,703 --> 00:18:58,971
(grunting)
433
00:19:04,711 --> 00:19:06,278
Destroy. Destroy.
434
00:19:06,346 --> 00:19:08,147
Boy, look at that ironwork.
435
00:19:13,186 --> 00:19:15,488
Well, I'll be.
There's a sofa in here.
436
00:19:17,924 --> 00:19:19,692
(grunting)
437
00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:21,460
It's stuck.
438
00:19:23,563 --> 00:19:26,932
Must... squeeze... harder.
439
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,334
BART: Nah...
440
00:19:28,402 --> 00:19:29,368
Why you little....
441
00:19:29,436 --> 00:19:31,671
(grunting)
442
00:19:35,308 --> 00:19:36,308
Whoo-hoo!
443
00:19:36,376 --> 00:19:37,977
(screeching, Bart cries out)
444
00:19:40,714 --> 00:19:42,148
The school is saved.
445
00:19:42,215 --> 00:19:43,883
Unfurl the flag.
446
00:19:52,259 --> 00:19:53,592
(birds chirping)
447
00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:55,294
Mister, you are grounded.
448
00:19:55,362 --> 00:19:57,263
And no TV.
449
00:19:57,330 --> 00:19:59,732
And I'm taking all the exciting
colors out of your crayons.
450
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:02,368
And when you're out of my sight,
you must constantly Twitter me
451
00:20:02,436 --> 00:20:03,969
exactly what you are up to,
452
00:20:04,037 --> 00:20:07,440
even though I don't
know what Twitter is
453
00:20:07,507 --> 00:20:09,675
and have no desire to find out.
454
00:20:09,743 --> 00:20:13,179
Ah, you guys are the
meanest parents ever.
455
00:20:13,246 --> 00:20:14,914
Thank you.
456
00:20:16,483 --> 00:20:18,350
Life stinks, huh?
457
00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:19,885
Totally.
458
00:20:19,953 --> 00:20:21,921
Mom said she was tipped
off by a note from me.
459
00:20:21,988 --> 00:20:23,289
But you know something?
460
00:20:23,356 --> 00:20:24,523
I didn't write this note.
461
00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:28,594
(nervous chuckle)
That's ridiculous.
462
00:20:28,662 --> 00:20:30,796
If you didn't write it,
who in the world could have?
463
00:20:30,864 --> 00:20:32,698
You wanted to get caught.
464
00:20:32,766 --> 00:20:34,166
Really?
465
00:20:34,234 --> 00:20:35,835
How can you be so sure?
466
00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:38,237
Elementary, my dear Simpson.
467
00:20:38,305 --> 00:20:40,372
Leave it to you to misspell a word
468
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:42,575
you see first thing every morning.
469
00:20:42,642 --> 00:20:45,144
But don't worry.
Your secret's safe with me.
470
00:20:45,212 --> 00:20:46,746
As far as Mom and Dad know,
471
00:20:46,813 --> 00:20:48,981
you're just a soulless
little psycho.
472
00:20:50,550 --> 00:20:51,617
Thanks, Lis.
473
00:20:51,685 --> 00:20:52,752
Anytime.
474
00:20:55,122 --> 00:20:57,656
(chuckling)
475
00:21:03,363 --> 00:21:04,697
NARRATOR: So our family
of the future
476
00:21:04,765 --> 00:21:07,466
is once again together and happy.
477
00:21:07,534 --> 00:21:09,235
Mom brings Dad the
evening paper...
478
00:21:09,302 --> 00:21:10,436
(dog barking)
479
00:21:10,504 --> 00:21:12,872
...one of six editions
printed daily.
480
00:21:12,939 --> 00:21:14,874
Want to know what happened
in China yesterday?
481
00:21:14,941 --> 00:21:16,876
Read the paper.
482
00:21:16,943 --> 00:21:19,345
And if Mom and Dad want
a little privacy,
483
00:21:19,412 --> 00:21:22,748
Junior can be flash-frozen
until further notice,
484
00:21:22,816 --> 00:21:25,651
because this is the most
wonderful world of all--
485
00:21:25,719 --> 00:21:28,587
the world of tomorrow.
486
00:21:28,655 --> 00:21:38,257
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com